#I want to stop hurting so bad but im worried I never will stop hurting because of how much it still hurts and how it leaves me confused. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maxknightley · 20 hours

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hey man listen, im sure you just didnt know because hes just a funny haha tweets guy but dril is literally an outspoken nazi on twitter and has made mulitple tweets with nazi dogwhistles and literally responded to someone going "its not a joke, i fucking hate jews". like theres screenshots and posts and stuff about it out there and im sure you could dig through his twit. none of my posts about this ever get picked up because no one wants to admit the internet funnyman is a bad guy but hes like. a literal actual nazi. take that as you will

disclaimer for my followers: do not start shit with this person. I swear to fucking god. be cool.

not to be rude but I looked this up:

on twitter's website, where I found nothing;

on twitter's mobile app, where I also found nothing;

on DuckDuckGo, where I found nothing except the "(((keebler elves)))" tweet, which I think you could reasonably argue was in poor taste but hardly seems like a sincere endorsement of fascist beliefs;

and on Google, where I again found nothing except the "(((keebler elves)))" tweet and people talking about the keebler elves tweet

so, like, with all due respect I think you're either misremembering something / conflating him with someone else, or someone is fucking with you. I'm genuinely not sure what else this could be referring to, other than his recent slew of tweets mocking the nation-state of Israel, which - speaking as an antizionist Jew - I think are good and funny

the main reason I'm posting a response to this ask at all is because I get asks like this a lot. like, every couple months at this point. but usually they're not about dril, who 1. barely uses this website and barely ever has, and 2. has bigger things to worry about! usually they're about Some Trans Woman who I may never have even fucking heard of. I've gotten asks calling latina trans women "white" and accusing them of being turbo-racist because they Disagreed With Someone One Time. I've gotten asks trying to convince me that a woman I've never spoken to is a sexual predator based on literally zero evidence of any kind. and it gets fucking tiresome. okay? it's really, really fucking tiresome

so I figure I'll post this one because it's illustrative, and because it won't stir up shit around someone who might actually get hurt by it. please stop doing this. please stop sending me completely unsupported asks about how such-and-such is a terrible person.

at the bare fucking minimum send me actual concrete Posts that I can look at, because then I can actually judge for myself whether it's something worth getting upset about. otherwise there's basically a 10% chance I look into it, find nothing tangible, and shrug, and a 90% chance it goes straight into the trash.

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10yo-anon · 16 hours

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☆ DARK RED. ☆

Frat!Satoru Gojo x F!reader (?)

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

⚠️: fluff and angst!!, ooc characters prob!! mention of alcohol! not proofread!

WC: 1912. whew!

A/N: guyz!!! im sorry if it isnt good enough!!! and so very sorry because the timeline is confusing!! i hope its more unerstandable when yall read part 1 tohogh!!! and..very sorry for the amout of pov switches!! very sorry in general!!

part 1 part 2

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

*/ after you ran out

"Seriously! Who in their right mind would even call in the— huh?" Shoko's voice immediately softened as soon as she read your contact name. even more so when she hears your sniffling voice and heavy breaths. "im— 'im s'sorry Shoko.. can you, uhm.. pick m' up?.." already grabbing her car keys, she asks you to hold on and wait. you tell her the location, she speeds to you, not even bothering to change out of her pajamas. the one who called literally wasn't in their right mind. damn.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

the both of you stop over at Satoru's apartment, Shoko helping you pack your essentials, so you can stay over at hers for a few days.

When you finally arrive back at her own apartment, she immediately asks if you were okay. making sure she wasn't pushing you to tell her everything. it was a while for somebody to focus on you. not even Satoru did. That thought alone made you break down in ugly tears, hiding your face on her shoulder as soon as she allowed you to as you were embarrassed of your state.

but you couldn't help but continue crying and venting out everything, even with that angel on your right shoulder shouting curses at you for leaving Satoru and pleading for you to "shut up" you still did, from your doubts, your absolute heartbreak the first time you found out he was cheating on you, to your latest and last. everything about your whole relationship, you spat out.

Shoko let you vent it out, let you take the stage and talk until your throat hurt from speaking and your eyes were too sore and tired from crying, simply wanting to close, then did she try to give advice as she knew you were still listening to her.

Only when you slept did she start thinking about other things. She internally gags. why was she even friends with him back then? hell, though she sees him as an acquaintance, why does she still keep contact?

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

*/ when satoru went back.

Where the hell were you? it was in the middle of the night!— or was it the crack of dawn... he can't remember anymore, all he could remember was how fast his heart rate sped up and how it felt.

it's been thirty minutes since he looked around the apartment for you. the only thing he noticed was gone was the disappearance of one of his duffel bags.

the devil on his right shoulder laughs aloud. "oh? guess she's acting a little now, Satoru! you've really done it! it's as if she won't come back after a few days!" and Satoru himself laughs with pride. it was right, you were going to show up after your little tantrum, why did he have to care? there were other better fish in the sea than you! little, wimpy you.

At least he could finally catch a break without you clinging next to him. he could finally stop worrying about having to make excuses for him to leave and secretly go to parties for hookups. it was your fault for feeling sad, anyway. can't you understand he's in his prime? you can't just stop him from enjoying it!

bur if there was the devil on his shoulder, the Angel would always be at his left. "oh Satoru. I warn you now. something bad is 'bout to happen to you." for some reason, he felt anxious. he doesn't know. he doesn't know why he feels that way. he never felt like this when he'd return from his parties, so his solution was to sleep it off instead.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

You thank whoever's watching you from above weekdays were over, coming from the fact you woke up at 9am. your eyes were still slightly sore, so it hurt when you would blink. the same with your throat when you made a sound from yawning.

though you were physically and emotionally drained, you sat up and eventually stood up. prioritizing to thank Shoko for letting you vent and stay at her place.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

Waking up at 10am feeling like shit is what he expected, after the amount of shots he had. it was okay though, feeling hungover was normal for him, what was not was the empty feeling of his bed, how the other side was empty, and the warm aura that usually greeted him was also gone. but what he noticed almost immediately was your missing touch and the way you wake him up by pampering him whenever he felt like this— well... you would actually always wake him up like this..

the world was cruel for making him feel your ghost touch.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

The both of you decide to go to a nice coffee shop to cool down as the extremely hot rays of the noon sun almost melted the both of you. "Shoko, do you really think this is a good idea?" you murmur as you take a sip of coffee. "yes, I do. but if you don't agree to it, that's completely fine." "no, no...I do! its just that its kind of.." "scary?" she takes a sip of her coffee. "well, yeah.. what if I see him? what will I even do?" you respond, twirling your hand in exaggeration. "I wont deny it, you would definitely cross paths with him since we're going to a party.. but all you have to do is to have fun and ignore him, its not like I wont be there myself."

"Shoko, as much as I love you, we both suck at socializing. we're both cursed with awkwardness." "we'll be fine! as long as you give me a few drinks, people wont even notice our 'awkwardness'." she half-jokingly responds.

"any how, I don't even have an outfit for a party." "Guess we have to go shopping."

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

"Yo, Satoru!" His best friend immediately greets him as he accepts his video call. "Suguru!" He responds back with the same enthusiasm. "hey, is your girlfriend with you?" Suguru asks. "nah. she threw a small tantrum so I'm all alone.."

his expected reply. Now it's time Suguru pauses. he has to act normal. he cant and wont let Satoru know he was the reason for your "tantrum". he was already guessing the scenario. maybe you and Satoru had a fight, or similar to that. oh how far his answer was.

"so.. are ya goin' to the party tonight?" Suguru asks him right after. Satoru laughs at his cautiousness, but he raises an eyebrow. "what party exactly?" "that one blonde chick's party!" he pauses for a moment before the light bulb in his head lights up. "oh, her. I think I remember her from the last party we went to." Not taking his chance, Suguru quickly ends the call with a see you later.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧🎧⊹★

As much as you try to pull down your skirt, you still didn't feel less uncomfortable. "Shoko.. uhm. can I maybe call it quits?" you complain the first ten minutes after the both of you walked into the blazing lights of the party. unluckily for you, your moral support already took shots. "you really are a cute one, aren't ya?" Shoko giggles through the loud music. "you're going to be fine!" she shouts, making sure you hear her.

When she hears people screaming and calling out others to play spin the bottle with them, she quickly takes your hand and grips it as tight as she could, before dragging you and herself of the circle of strangers nearby.

and as you try to pry away, your eyes which was nervously looking around the crowd of people, soon meets wide, bright blue ones. your heart drops. He even saw you first.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

"Satoruu! my man!" the other frat guys shout out his name as they lounge on the couch, the desperate girls from the other sorority batting their eyelashes at them.

he walks over to them, leaning on the arm part of the soft couch. "you've been coming to parties more often lately." one of the guys casually bring up. ' yeah! are you back to being single? you finally pried your insecure girl off of you?" another guy continues, and the whole group laughs aloud. whenever they make fun of you, he'd always join in and laugh. but why does he feel irritated?

Before he could talk, a woman's voice interrupts him. "guys!~ we should all calm down! maybe a game of spin the bottle will!" the hostess of the party giggles as she puts her hand up, showing an empty beer bottle.

and of course, he couldn't miss the forced doe-eyed 'innocent' look she gave him, with the additional batting of eyelashes. psh. you could've done so much better.

as the guys invite people to join the game, he slips away from them. If he has to be with that blonde chick, he wanted to do it with alcohol in his body.

as he tries to find his way to the kitchen, his eyes scan around the room. but what he found was not the kitchen. it was your eyes. your oh-so surprised eyes.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

now here you are, sitting with random strangers, Shoko by your side. you notice one reserved space around the circle as they start to spin the bottle.

you notice Satoru a few minutes later, walking back to the said reserved space. you quickly whisper to Shoko about going to get drinks for the both of you before rushing off.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

you cautiously walk in the kitchen. luckily, barely a few people are there. with your head down you go grab two bottles of cold, open beer and once again, you speed walk away.

but you come to an abrupt stop as you bump into somebody's back. "what the fuck?" a menacing voice mumbles as the guy turns around. you're dead. you have to tilt your head up to make eye contact with the guy. he has pink hair, and tattoos. all over his face. shit. you remember hearing about him. Sukuna, was it? a pretty infamous guy around the campus.

before he could curse at the person who bumped him and spilled cold beer on his back, he was met with a woman. a woman who captured his interest. wait. was this one of Satoru's chicks? even better! he decides to stay quiet and eye you up and down, silently waiting for an apology.

and an apology he gets. "ah, shit..I— im so sorry! i really am! I didn't mean to!—" mm.. he doesn't mind an ego boost. He leans down, his mouth right next to your ear, then he talks. "doll, as much as I love pathetic apologies, you should shut your mouth." is it bad you feel butterflies on your stomach?

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

Satoru was about to sit down to play spin the bottle with everyone, but he notices Shoko, and you rushing away. He's not dumb. he knows why you went away. you were scared of him.

He grins. it won't hurt if he decides to play with you for a while, after all, you were his playtoy.

without excusing himself, he continues to walk, now to the direction you went.

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

he did not expect to see this. at all.

he watches a few meters away, fist balled. why were you talking to Ryomen? with a cup of alcohol, too! you know he's his enemy. were you doing this out of spite? everyone knows you're his!

he wanted to grab you by the hand and pull you away, but he'd look desperate. even more so when there's people who know the both of you had a silent fight. so he watches.

his jaw drops when the pink haired man leans down to whisper something to you, and the way you furiously blush right after?! oh how much he wanted to make Ryomen bite the curb. He was the only one who had that effect on you! weren't you smitten with him? why were you letting him do this?

★⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹★

A/N: @the-parasites-control-me THERE. SUKUNA APPEARANCE. HAPPY?? n e ways! very dissapoiinting, i know 💪 i couldnt make up my mind how to end this so im stopping here. im rying with the amount of paragraphs i deleted cause i couldnt pick. arg!

once more, n e ways, a few notes!!

has anyone found out about that one thing i kept highlighting and its meaning? im not gonna tell it yet though!

i know im so far away from the song dark red now. but at this point.. idc 💪 (i bsolutely do. sobbing in a corner rn)

erm!! taglist! gasp!

@sukioyakio @ilovebattinson

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8rujaa · 7 months

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to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone…#i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly.#i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized…#when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function.#plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone…#i went thru all that for nothing…#and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

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kosmicfeelings · 4 months

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I worry this wound will never close and will continue to bleed

#I want to stop hurting so bad but im worried I never will stop hurting because of how much it still hurts and how it leaves me confused.#It’s been a few months and I still cry about it. My heart still aches and breaks when I think about it.#I thought they were someone who wouldn’t hurt me. but I guess I was fooled. I guess they always were that someone. Just hidden #it hurts to know that someone who I thought was a close friend and an ex got “together” in a way.#They aren’t exactly together together but together in a way where they’re kinda fucking #And that’s where it hurts. To know what they’re doing.#that was my closest friend. my actual soulmate I believed. and thats my ex. They got “together” a month later after we broke up.#after talking about it to a few people.. were they attracted to each other even when my ex and I were together? If so.. what was I?#And how could they do this so easily? Or am I just overthinking/overreacting?? I don’t know. I need someone to tell me #I look back when my friend & I were still friends. I think I started to lose them during the beginning of summer last year #I just tried believing I wasn’t and things would fall back into place soon. but they weren’t.#They just said one thing and left. Leaving me alone in the dark.#I don’t know.. I get it in some way? I was in a bad place and probably draining for them to stay but like #Idk.. I guess I can understand why they left me. but why get with someone who I dated and start.. fucking.#im so hurt by this. I’m worried this wound will never close and that I’ll be a wounded dog chained to the tree forever.

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transphilza · 2 years

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tis missin techno hours it seems

#cw grief #vent in tags #man i started watching breakin bad for the first time recently w my gf and like great show #but boy was i not prepared for all the cancer stuff. we had to stop watching one night because of how hard it was for me to watch #its just so hard to think about him going through that. like obviously #thats why the dedication by the sfa still hurts to even think about #and thinking about it all it makes sense to me why he never told us how bad it really was #i was. already so so worried about him all the time especially those last few months #even though he never gave us any reason to believe it was getting worse or anythin like that #so i cant imagine how badly id have been worrying if id known the extent of it all back then #and im grateful in a way for it. cause it gave me the chance during that last year we had him to really just love and appreciate #i just watched and rewatched vods and videos and i was so happy and so grateful to have him around.. im still grateful. cause hes not gone #i think he wanted it to be like that? i think he didnt want anyone mourning him before he left #dunno im just missing him and thinking of him as i often do. its just one of those Its All Painfully Real Lol moments #i sometimes have legitimate fleeting thoughts where im like. so. im gonna wake up tomorrow and someones gonna have created a cure for death #and hes gonna be back right. or like. for half a second my brain goes Cool so when does he come back?#its real strange #i think about his friends and family alot i find myself wondering if it hurts so bad for me then how are they even getting by?#but grief is always grief and grieving people are grieving people so maybe we arent as different as i think #yknow #whenever theres a meetup or something like that theres always this awful ache. this ringing in my ears #and it says. like. christ this is hard to type out.#it says ‘techno never got to do this’… or ‘sbi never got to do this’…#and its not a sentiment of jealousy or anger or even envy…. just grief #it’s just pure pure grief it’s just loss and it makes the whole world feel hollow #but i suppose that’s just the world without him.? everything echoes louder than it should #it seriously makes me feel sick when i think about that. augh. last hope we all had for an sbi meetup at vidcon #and how phil said they asked but techno. said he wouldnt make it that long basically. i think about that too much #i wont ever remember that vidcon as anything but the last few days of bliss before we found out #gonna rewatch some of his videos and sleep now. hearing his voice always makes me smile ❤️ goodnight

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viderose · 10 months

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he’s annoying, i don’t like him (he hasn’t given me as much attention lately)

#im fighting for my life out here #i feel so childish and annoying. like rationally ik i can’t have his undivided attention. but that doesn’t mean i don’t want it sometimes🥺#i think what actually is happening is that im worrying he’s about to ghost #i feel bad thinking that though. bc he seems like a very honest and mature person? with how he talks abt things i don’t think he would rly #ghost me after talking for this amount of time. but ya never can tell…. every time we don’t talk as much for a few days i get very nervous #and it’s weirdly quite difficult to push that worry out of my head. and then i get annoyed with myself for worrying about it to begin with #like i can’t control what he does so why worry about his hypothetical actions? i’ll deal w the consequences of them if or when they occur.#if we stop talking i’ll feel sad and i’ll miss him for a bit and then i’ll get over it. that’s all. it’s not that bad.#but anyway my point is we good #sometimes idk if id truly feel That sad. i think it depends how it ends.#or maybe i just don’t think anyone can hurt my feelings as much as the first person to hurt my feelings in a specific way #like you experience a loss or betrayal or grief - whatever - the first time and it’s all encompassing. it feels like it could genuinely kill #you it hurts so bad. and every subsequent loss or betrayal or grief you experience just isn’t the same? you barely flinch #maybe it’s because you learn to process those emotions better or maybe it’s keeping things at arm’s length as a protective measure #that means nothing hurts as much as the first thing #idk #this became a silly ramble #im just very attached to him and i miss him when he’s busy but also don’t want to ask too much for fear of being a nuisance or rejected :)#ykwim?#i miss him a lot

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traaanskimkitsuragi · 2 years

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hm. okay i am now realising maybe youre not supposed to do the b side as soon as you unlock it

#i played for 3 hours my hand hurts soooo bad #sfhkajhfdjks #celeste #i shouldve stopped an hour ago but i really wanted to finish the level in oneg o #so i just did my best to stretch between tries #anyways the game is really fun :]#the b side level made me rage but thats probs on me for going into it early #i really appreciate how death just resets you on the screen bc the lost progress isnt *that* bad #it makes me be a lot more willing and patient to keep trying #the controls arent super intuitive for me rn but thats bc im used to the controls of hollow knight #esp the wall climb omg its been warping my brain trying to figure it out #anyways despite it being p difficult its not as bad as i thought it was going to be #i was rlly worried since hk is the only platformer ive played #but the regular level was p chill #towards the end of the b side one i started trying to eat my controller #im sorry to my neighbours who probs heard me scream in english at the screen #but!!! i didnt rage quit!!!!!!#and i was able to consistently calm down so my angy didnt affect my play much #i am realising 2d platformers are like. extremely fun. i was never interested in them but its so satisfying to beat them #im rlly glad i impulse bought the game i was worried id get bored or drop it but #i think ill def be motivated enough to finish it

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angeltrapz · 3 months

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not the misgendering again

#it definitely doesnt make me want to die :)#im fucking serious i am at my limit with my stepdad. like im fucking calling him by his name in my head bc he is NOT the dad i had before #i dont know what happened but its like my dad disappeared over night and now i live with a complete stranger #why it still hurts this bad after nine years i dont know but i wish it didnt #i wish it didnt still fucking hurt because it doesnt matter how i feel about it. it isnt going to change #i just wish someone would stand up for me in that regard but we all know it wont make him stop so whats the point. itll just make him angry #and then well all have to deal with it #connor.vtxt #im sorry i just. i was having a good night and now im considering smoking another bowl bc Fuck This Shit #i know i shouldnt do it but everything hurts and my heart is beating too hard #i just hope this gets better because i really cant keep doing this for the rest of my life. i really cant #dont worry abt the first tag btw im not going to do anything. im okay #well. not okay but not actually considering That.#he does not respect me in any regard. especially not as a person. but expects me to respect him and never tell him what he says/does hurts #he doesnt even apologize anymore #he thinks its 'another one of my mental illnesses'

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s3lkie2sato · 7 months

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i need to quit being so negative because i cannot keep making other people arpund me so sad

#quill.txt #idk. was just looking at him and got sad over the fact i was probably making him upset #the want to be constantly negative sometimes is easily overridden by not wanting to be just another baby spouting nonsense at him #i really do think he deserves better than that #and ill be damned if i dont give him better and if i dont give him my all #thats not to say being sad is ILLEGAL now but #i can stop bein a downer about other things i thibk #i sometimes get worried i'll make this mistake one too many times. i get nervous that i might lose you #bc im being a rude little bastard about the little things #so i. would rather not do that. because i love you. and i never want to hurt you. or lash out at you. or make you feel as bad as i might #in that momemt #i want to be as gentle and patient with your heart as you have mine #your hands have been so soft and kind as you hold my heart in the palm of your hands #and i would like nothing more than to do that for you. so its time to stop bringing you down.#does this make any sense? im a little out of it. idk.#i love you. im glad i exist

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sonarpup · 11 months

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i rly just want to be a good dog, but there are all these human things i don't understand and human expectations of me.

i want to be told its ok if i fucked up - i tried, i'll get it next time

i want to know what i want that isn't just reactive to trauma

i want to feel like i'm more than a reflection of others

i want to be a person, in my own way. i want "me" to actually define something

dog is feeling bad abt itself/its ability to meet expectations/exist. it could rly use nice words pls.

it feels like i dont contribute anything except sharing stuff from elsewhere. I only create a single thing and that's writing that nobody reads. idk how to interact anymore and it feels scary and isolated and i just don't want to feel like this.

#why cant i stop feeling pointless #i feel like i never explain anything right #ive been ok but doing poorly but ok but doing poorly but... and like... why?#im so behind on getting stuff ready #im good at being “fine” by dissociating except that dissociating isn't “fine”#i want to stop worrying that i can't drop my guard or else i'll say something in a way i don't mean and instantly make ppl hate me #people get mad or upset and don't let u explain and even if u do and they accept it it doesn't undo the hurt caused and #puppy is scared and tired of making people upset with it #puppy keeps feeling guilty for expressing at all #nobody likes our writing #nobodys probably actually reading these tags #feel like idk how to participate in group dynamics without managing to feel rly rly alienated #and i'm comfy talking w so few ppl #i talk to <1 person per day out loud on avg #usually just myself or the air around me #there are maybe 4 people i message with any regularity #i feel bad bc they have to put up w more of me #i miss when i had so many online friends in so many places #i miss feeling like i knew how to talk to people #dogbrain #idk if this counts as an existential crisis #but just. dog sad.#sorry

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wishful-seeker · 8 months

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Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

For example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

For example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

#cripple punk #ablism #physical disability #disability

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animeshotsh · 3 months

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Thats MY kid | Dad!Lucifer x Kid!Reader x "Uncle"Alastor |

Summary: Alastor wants to take you out for some time with him!

Alastor tried to convince himself he was doing this to piss Lucifer off. No, he did not have any type of attachment to you, he did not see you as his own kid (even if you totally ignored his half request to be called dad when not being around Lucifer). And no, he was not hurt by that.

Right?

Yeah well no. You had touched his heart somehow and now Alastor was down bad, he swears you must have some type of demonic magic (and not just you being you and being amazing) because no one (only his mother) made him feel so much love in his life or after life.

"Uncle?" Your voice called him making Alastor look at you with his signature simile. "Why was dad angry when you showed up?"

~☆~☆~☆~

Earlier that day.

"ABSOLUTLY NO. GET OUT FROM MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW" Lucifer screamed at the radio Demon who just stared back.

"My my, I never had you for the possesive type of dad, with how much freedom you have give Charlie"

"Dont bring my daugther into this" Lucifer said almost breaking a pen. "We both know you want to take (Y/N) out just to get to me. And im not letting you create fake hopes for that kid. That kid is mine Alastor, maybe not by blood but its mine. And I promised I would protect them, for anything and anyone. You can piss me off however you want but dont bring (Y/N) into this".

Well fuck, Lucifer did care for you.

Also, fuck you Lucifer. You did not know how he felt (hell, not even Alastor knew how he felt towards you). After meeting you at the hotel, seeing you interact with the others and also play with his shadows, something started to form inside the old killer. And it got worse when you ran to him asking him how the radio worked, his insides making flips as he explained you.

He also did almost break when you were saying goodbye and hugged his legs. If that was any other Demon they would have ended dead on the spot. But it was you, and it felt right.

"Listen" Alastor started smile still on his face but his tone serious "Im not that low to bring (Y/N) into our....fights. You May not believe me but I care for that kid, if I did not for sure I would not have give him one of my shadows to protect them"

"Wait-you did what-"

"The point is" Alastor interrumped static forming "I dont plan on giving they fake hope, and thats all I Will say"

Silence passed for seconds that felt like hours, finally Lucifer nodded.

"Alright, i will let you take them for today, BUT anything and I mean anything happens to them, you will no longer be here" Lucifer said his tone for once being truly the one from a king of hell.

Alastor just nodded, taking his cane being ready to be out with you for the day.

"Oh and Alastor, I dont trust you. But i want (Y/N) to get here what they missed in life, so dont fuck this up"

~☆~☆~☆~

"Nothing your silly head must worry about!" Alastor assured you. However your face did show you were not buying what he said.

"Smile my Dear!! You know you are never fully dressed without one!!" Alastor tried again, stopping to take your hand and make you spin. Your laught coming out quickly making him relax.

"There it is!" He exclaimed then continue to walk besides you. Right now you two were in the cannibals town. For other demons and sinners this part was even more dangerous than the regular hell. But for Alastor it was like his home, demos in here knew him and liked him, and that extended to you as well. A few had waved and smiled, fresh blood showing. But Alastor had made sure you did not see any dead body, or parts of one.

"Now I have a suprise for you!, I have a friend who owns a restaurant and she accepted to take us in"

"...as food or clients?" You asked joking making the radio Demon smirk, radio laughts in the background.

"Well, since she is my friend, we are clients of coruse" Alastor responded getting a nod from you. "Of course you wont be eating anything...special, regular food I promise"

~☆~☆~☆~

When you two entered the restaurant you found it to be empy....aside from some workers who came quickly to guide Alastor and you to a private room with a big table.

There, on one of the chairs a very pale Demon with deep black eyes stood. Noticing Alastor she got on her feet coming closer.

"Alastor, its so good to see you again" she beamed at the radio Demon stopping a few inches away.

"And who may this little creature be?"

Jokes, Rosie knew who you were. He had to listen to Alastor talk about how unfair it was that you had decided to call Lucifer dad and not him.

Being by Alastor side gave you confidence so you took some small steps closer to her.

"Im (Y/N), im Alastor newphew" You stated proudly making Rosie smile showing her sharp teet.

"Thats wonderfull, now please sit I have prepared the best for both of you" Rosie exclaimed calling over the workers who appear to help the three of you settle down.

"For you my friend, I got you the finist meat from this side of hell" A plate with fresh flesh was presented making Alastor almost growl at it. "And for you little one a bird told me you loved chocolate" a big space on the table was now occupied with the biggest and most extravagant chocolate cake you have ever seen.

"I-its that all for me?" You asked not believing it. Getting a nodd from Rosie "and I cant eat all of it?" Again a nodd.

You almost cried when the first slice was put in front of you. No one ever got you cake in the living world.

"Oh and to help you not chocke with that, Alastor I have some.." Rosie paused looking for the right words seeing how you were now devouring the cake "a very special drink" she finally said, a bottle with red liquid appear. And for you, I prepared a mix of appel juice and strawberry" she said getting the most pure look from you.

"Thank you Miss"

"Oh, just call me Rosie" she responded.

~☆~☆~☆~

Turns out you ate most of the cake and now the sugar had gave you too much energy. Rosie had asked her workers to play with you some game of tag, without biting.

And hell, you were fast. Outrunning the old demons and even letting chairs fall to prevent them from coming closer.

Rosie used this moment to dig as much information about you from Alastor as she could find.

"So, Lucifer just decided to take them in? What a strange guy" she said sipping her own drink. "And now you are taking care of them?"

Alastor nodded "yes, you must see Lucifer's face when I show up and (Y/N) calls me uncle, he its so angry"

"But you truly care for them" Rosie stated. "You would never have asked me to prepare something that does not come from sinners or demons knowing where you are. You also made me order the town to keep the body display low to protect them"

Rosie could read Alastor as an Open book.

"Uncleeeee" your call alerted the overlords, seeing you running towards them with the biggest smile on your face. "The other said they are too tired to keep running after me, does this mean I won?"

"Well centraly!! I knew no one would be able to catch you. You are my relative after all"

You nodded and smiled going back to your chair to drink more juice. "This is amazing. Thanks a lot Mi-Rosie!"

"Aww, arent you the cutest" Rosie beamed her hands squishing your cheecks.

~☆~☆~☆

After the food and some more talking Alastor decided it was time for you to go back with Lucifer (and no, it was not because he had got at least 666 messages from him).

Rosie had told you to come whenever you wanted that no one would hurt you in her town.

~☆~☆~☆

"I had a great time Uncle!" You told Alastor as the big castle started to show in the distance.

"Well im glad Dear! Dont forget to tune the radio for my program tonight" Alastor said petting your head.

"I wont! Dad hates it but I love it, specially that music you use...ummmm jazz?"

Alastor started to think that just kindapp you and made you his kid instead would be for the best.

"(y/n)!!" A very distinct voice screamed

"DAD!!"

But he would not want to hurt your feelings so, seeing you from time to time would have to do.

He waited for the exchange to end, Lucifer asking you what have you done and also making sure you were not hurt. After that he nodded to himself.

"Alright, now go inside, Xin has prepared you a bath"

You nodded but turned towards Alastor going for his legs again to hug him.

"Thank you uncle!! No one ever took me to a restaurant or got me cake. Lets meet again soon" you smiled up to him showing pointy teet.

Before he could respond you were running inside the castle with a very worried maid behind you.

~☆~☆~☆~

"Well..looks like you did not ruin this" Lucifer stated seeing you run off.

"I told you I would not" Alastor responded offended. "(Y/N) has potential to grow up to be a powerfull sinner (no you did not) of course im going to look over them"

Lucifer just shoot Alastor a knowing smile then turned around to enter his home.

"Thanks for not breaking his heart" he finally said then the doors closed behind him leaving Alastor alone.

Of course he could not bring himself to do that, even if he wanted to. You were his newphew. His. Not someone else.

And no one breaks the things he loves.

Not even himself.

#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #lucifer x reader #alastor x reader

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prettyoatmeal · 5 months

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i know this is a long shot but HEAR ME OUT!

PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS can you do a TF141 reacting to when their girl asks to peg them. IM BEGGING YOU

TF141 and How They'd React to Reader Asking to Peg Them

A/N: I'm on it, anon. DON'T WORRY

Warnings: SMUT!!! Includes pegging ofc. Written with an AFAB reader with fem genitalia in mind.

NSFW UNDER CUT

Masterlist here!

***************

Price would be incredibly hesitant. I don’t think he’d actually agree to it. He’s very traditional. He’s normally the one fucking and believes it should stay that way. Maybe he’s thought about it before, maybe he hasn’t. TLDR, he doesn’t think he would enjoy it.

The furthest you would ever get to it is just fingering him. Of course it would take a bit to lay him back and have his legs spread, but you seemed so happy when he agreed to try something new with him.

Working him up wasn’t too hard, sucking him off to help comfort him, holding his hand when he got a little nervous. You could really feel his vulnerability radiating, never exactly being in this position before. But right as you push a slicked finger inside him, the all new feeling was too much and he backed out.

Yeah, it just isn’t his thing. But you were proud of him nonetheless for trusting you that much to just try. You make sure to suck him off good to make up for it.

Gaz I feel like would be the only one from them to be immediately for it. He’s probably fingered himself before, once giving himself a prostate orgasm that’s left him breathless and shuddering. He feels secure enough to bend over for his love.

Even if you’re just pushing your fingers inside him, he’s already begging you to fuck him.

“Gotta stretch you first, calm down.” But he’s pushing back against you with a shudder. He’s too eager, it makes you roll your eyes from how damn needy he can be. This man has no chill whatsoever.

Gaz back arches would go crazy, arching like a cat as the tip of your strap slams against that sensitive spot inside him. Has such a pretty and plump ass too so it’s hard to not claw at his flesh while he’s taking you from behind.

“F-Fuck.. right there, please. Right- mmfh!”

His eyes will roll back, his cheeks flushed as he asks you to ram his insides in no-mercy style. Kyle will actively bounce back on you, wondering to himself why he’s never asked you himself to do this earlier. It just feels too fucking good that he trears up and cries out for you to keep going.

“No! Don’t stop. Gonnacum, gonnacum, gonnacum!”

He gets so addicted to the feeling that it definitely becomes part of your routine, sometimes just wanting his pretty thoughts to be fucked out of his head.

I can see him coming home from duty one night and he’s just missed you so much. He’s like a dog in heat, begging you to fuck him again because he just needs you to take care of him so bad. Who are you to deny him when he’s asking so nicely? Good boys like Gaz deserve to get dicked down and have their backs blown out by their pretty little partner.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ghost spits his tea out like a cartoon. I don't see him saying yes at first, very very reluctantly agreeing, but only to you fingering him. He isn’t used to being so vulnerable like that, but… just MAYBE he trusts you enough to not hurt him… pfft.. whatever.

Despite now nervous he feels, you know just how to calm him down. Your hands first run down his chest and stomach as you press small kisses along his lips and jaw. Running lower, you squeeze at his balls a few times before lubing your fingers up and gently pressing them against him.

“Relax, I’ve got you.”

His legs shake a little as you push them into his tight hole, his walls clenching around you. He would definitely not feel comfortable the first few times, or maybe even ever to take something as thick as your strap, but your fingers do him wonders for now.

He would definitely prefer you to move slowly, soft breaths leaving his mouth as he can’t help but dig his fingers into you and bury his flushed face into your neck. As he slowly becomes more and more comfortable with the feeling, you eventually hear him mumble into your neck, asking you to go a little faster.

His moans increase in volume, his legs threatening to close and trap your hand between his thighs every time you curl your fingers. But he’s loving it. He’s breathing heavily in your ear, his body shaking against you as his cock throbs and threatens to spill his cum on his tummy.

“Don’t.. don’t stop. Fuck, g’nna c-cum.. oh god-”

And it’s the best orgasm he’s ever had.

Soap wouldn’t be as eager as Gaz, but also not as against it as Price. Like Ghost, he’s in the middle.

“Seriously, Bonnie? Are you getting bored with me fucking you or what?”

He’ll prefer you take him in missionary first as you prep him. His face will scrunch up so beautifully when you push a finger inside him.

He squirms so much under you, trying to get comfortable. But once you curl your fingers, it only elicits a shaky moan from him as you press against his spongey prostate. And as you get the cue to finger fuck him, his moans become so cute and whiney. He wants to cum so bad just from your fingers, he gets almost sad when you’re forced to pull them out :(

He’s done with words once the strap on comes out. As his back arches against the bed and his legs wrap around your hips, his poor fucked out brain finally knows how it feels to be in your shoes. You know that you can’t feel it, but you wish you could just because of how deliciously he was tightening around the strap.

It’s only a matter of time until you need to slam a hand over his mouth to muffle his slutty moans.

“Mmh- Shit.. fuckfuckfuckfuck-!”

You don’t even need to touch his cock and he’s throbbing, leaking cum like a faucet.

He’s definitely asking for you to peg him again.

***************

I feel like this is going to flop so bad since I've seen NONE of these going around. But I need to finish all my drafts though so 😭 rip

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megumishotgf · 6 months

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more jjk + mha fic recs !! ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ

in my unemployed era so i have hours to scroll on this damn app... here are more fics that i loved!! featuring: megumi, satoru, nanami, toji, yuuji, yuuta, katsuki, izuku, shouto (whew there's a lot of them today. your girl has been READING) credits to all these talented writers!! pls check them out!! masterlist more fic recs pt. i pt. iii

: ̗̀➛ megumi fushiguro x reader

you and gumi bond over books (he reads a book you're interested in just so you have someone to discuss it with. bawling)

multiple-part enemies to lovers smau!! (this is SO FUNNY. i cried from laughter more than once)

more enemies to lovers (lengthier fic, so so good + smutty)

you give megumi valentines day chocolates (so so cute he just loves u so much)

secret relationship trope + poor yuuji walks in on you making out (poor baby is traumatised)

more secret relationship + getting caught (i love this one so much)

your silly tired bf just wants kisses

it's late, you're wandering in your ducky slippers and see megumi patching himself up

megumi falls in love with milf! reader (omfg... i love this sm. i've never considered being a cougar until now)

friends to lovers with megumi (high school a.u + gumi buys reader sanrio)

thinking about megumi's hands (i js know they are pretty. thinking of all the unspeakable things they can do)

comforting insecure megumi (my poor baby. a lil angst but dw there's a happy ending)

: ̗̀➛ kento nanami x reader

kento comes home early (so cute and precious. im crying i need him to be real so bad)

he gets hurt bad and you can't stop crying (angsty but also fluffy don't worry this doesn't end like shibuya)

: ̗̀➛ toji fushiguro x reader

riding toji until he whimpers omfg (he gets embarrassed and teaches you a lesson ahhh)

your fiancee toji finally gets freed from prison (they finally freed my man anyway you suck him off while he drives omfg)

sex as payback for your noisy ass neighbours (im losing it)

really cute dating headcanons

more on toji being a simp for you (HES SOOO)

: ̗̀➛ satoru gojo x reader

"my girl is mad at me i hope i die" that's it

y/n + satoru being stupidly in love (now this one has a kick to it.i'm crying)

satoru is obsessed with you but you're oblivious (pining satoru)

boyfriend texts w/ satoru

fucking satoru in the prison realm (AHHHH)

satoru begs to fuck you at some high profile event (u js look so cunty in that outfit and it drives him crazy)

car sex with satoru AHHH

satoru lets u try on his blindfold (hes such so :( so so adorable)

you get hurt and satoru is worried (wow this is so well written. happy ending + gojo centric)

: ̗̀➛ yuuji itadori x reader

fucking ur friend yuuji in a club bathroom (this is so so good)

"if we had a baby would it be mine or sukuna's" (this is hilarious)

yuuji comforts his gf who's not his 'usual type' (its me im the short gf with a big chest) (i’ve been coming back to reread this daily)

: ̗̀➛ yuuta okkotsu x reader

blowing ur big dick bf yuuta (canon)

really really romantic sex w/ yuuta (straight up making love)

: ̗̀➛ katsuki bakugo x reader

domestic headcanons (i love them and i love him. help)

more cute relationship headcanons

katsuki is obsessed with gossiping and eavesdropping when you and your friends spill the tea (this is so funny i love it sm)

dragging katsuki to the club bathroom because u love him (this is so wholesome im crying)

kiri notices how whipped katsuki is for you

guard dog katsuki is jealous

: ̗̀➛ izuku midoriya x reader

mating press with izuku (this actually drives me crazy. written so well and in character)

izuku is just so fucking precious (i can't take it anymore)

: ̗̀➛ shouto todoroki x reader

shouto gets halved by a quirk but not like gojo, there's js two of him (there is one obvious thing to do now)

dr. todoroki promises to breed you properly (i'm convulsing)

you're insecure after giving birth and shouto comforts you (with loving words and his dick)

resolving an argument w/ ur bf shouto (so cute!!)

eating u out in the kitchen (omfg)

there is an overwhelming amount of smut i'm sorry this is kind of embarrassing i'm just super horny lmao

#mha x reader #jjk x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #satoru gojo x reader #yuuji itadori x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #kento nanami x reader

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xan-izme · 11 months

Text

Crybaby (Sully fam X daughter!reader)

Summary: Reader has always been a crybaby. Sensitive and had a soft spot for all living life. Jake disliked how sensitive you always were, he sent you out on your own for a month and came back a cold-blooded killer.

Warnings: Death, gore, mentions of death, mentally unstable reader, violence, Trauma

You were kind, sweet. Always looked on the bright side, you were on the same path as Kiri, training to become Tsahik. But it was clear you weren't as good as Kiri, which you were quick to admit.

That lead to Jake placing you with your brothers, training to become warriors. He wanted to tough you up, Jake loves how much you cherished love, he loved seeing the world through your optimistic eyes.

But ever since the sky people came back, he just needed his eldest daughter to be strong. Be there just in case he would leave this world a little too early.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Y/n, I need you to keep your balance! keep tripping like that you'll get killed." Jake's words hurt you, but you remember how upset he was the last time you nearly cried.

You inhaled sharply "Yes father." You stood up from the ground and faced your twin, Neteyam. He gave you a knowing look that wanted to know if they should stop, you shook your head lightly, not wanting to seem more of a wimp to your father then you already are.

You were an average hunter, your skills in fighting weren't that bad either.

But that wasn't enough for Jake. He needed to know that you were as skilled as Neteyam, as skilled as your mother was. So, it was always.

"Be faster"

"Hit stronger"

"Not good enough, try again!"

You would push your limit. Till you couldn't keep your eyes open. Your father would say words of gratitude here and there. Like small nods and a "Good work"

Your brothers sometimes feel like that's not enough for how much he makes you do. But just the smallest amount of approval from Jake made you feel like you were on cloud nine, causing you to do more, work harder.

Then one day, you were having a hard week, you were getting frustrated at the simplest things. Even your fathers nagging was annoying you.

When it came to training, you slipped up and made multiple mistakes that Jake just could not take it.

"Y/n, come now." Jake spoke calmly. You and your twin glanced at each other. You stood up with the help of Neteyam and followed your father.

The two of you walked through the woods.

"Baby, you know why I push you and your siblings so much, right?"

You nod your head, feeling a little nervous even if Jake was using his usual soft tone. "Then you understand--" Jake held you by your shoulders "--That this family, this clan is our fortress. And protecting this family is everything"

His words were deep to you, it was clear this was important to him. "And I need you to be strong. And training here hasn't been helping. So, Im sending you off. Away from here, so you can improve more on your own" Jake saw how your expression dropped "don't worry! It'll only be for a month. Ill check in every few weeks." He tried to reassure you. It didn't really calm your nerves down, but seeing how desperate he was to make sure you and the family was safe?

there was no way you could say no.

So, you left, you were on your own. The first few days were hard. And there were multiple times when you got seriously hurt and cried. God, you cried so much. All that crying made you hate yourself.

Hate every flaw you had. You even hated the soft part of you. Scolding yourself, knowing that kindness and your crying will not protect the clan, your family.

Jake did try to visit you. But you never stayed in one place. The two of you talked a little over the inner coms when you two would be miles apart. But those convocations didn't last.

You were training harder than ever. Perfecting every little thing down to the bone. In all honesty, you did go a little off from the safe zone, where you ran into a few sky people. You made it our alive, as for those sky people?

Well, you only let one live, still having that small kindness and mercy in you. Which was a big mistake.

You received a message from Norm and Max when they wanted to check on you, that a sky person bombed up a small part of the safe zone close to the high camp. No one was killed, but a lot were majorly injured.

Gaining all the details of the incident, you realize that it was the sky person you let live.

Cursing yourself and beating yourself for being so foolish, so naive for thinking nothing of what that sky demon after setting it free. So, you vowed to not give your enemy's any type of mercy, to kill all those evil demons, to protect you clan, your family.

Because this family was your fortress. And you were determined to be theirs.

Your month was over, and you were just so excited to go home. To hug and smother your siblings with kisses. To show your dear parents how strong and skilled you've become. To make your father proud of you. To officially be seen as enough to help protect everyone.

Norm gave you an inner com that was connected to your family, being told that your parents and dear twin brother were on patrol at the moment.

You decided to fly your Ikran to where you were told you parents and twin would be at. But when you were a few clicks away from them, you heard Lo'ak's voice. Saying he has gained sight of intruders. Ones who were carrying guns.

Dreamwalkers

You spoke into your inner coms.

"I'm closest to their location. I'll engage."

"Y/n-- wait, no! Y/n you better not!" Jake shouted.

"Y/n te i'tri Mo'ata Sully. Stay down! that's an--"

You turned your intercoms off. The safety of your baby siblings was the only thing you had in mind. It was almost eclipse, and telling by how the winds picks up and the clouds, it was to rain soon.

Your Ikran felt the panic and determination you were feeling and speed up to get to the location faster.

You made it before your parents and twin could. You killed off every single dreamwalker. And that demon who took your mother's home away, who took Kiri's mother away.

The demon who caused so much harm to your clan.

"Any last words Demon?" you say, tilting your head as you held the sharp dagger to Quritche's throat. The Demon growled and spat in your face.

You weren't very pleased with that; you turned your head towards your siblings who were huddled against a tree.

"Spider"

The small human boy flinched by the way your voice sounded.

"Close your eyes." You said with a small fond smile. But it felt nothing like that. Kiri quickly brought Spider close to her and covered his eyes.

You looked back at Quaritche. The moment you slit his throat and began to detach his head from his body, was the moment Jake and Neytiri entered the scene.

Neytiri was quick to go by her younger children's side. Your ears perk and notice Jake. Once you laid eyes on him. Your face lit up.

"Father!" Youran to him and hugged him. Jake was in utter shock at the scene in front of him. He slowly hugged you tight. You pulled away, smiling, unphased by the amount of blood that was on you.

"I did it. I saved them. Look!" you pulled Jake to where Quaritche's dead body was and grabbed the head of the demon.

"I have killed him. I did it!"

Neteyam slowly entered and looked over what you had done.

"Mommy!" Tuk whined and was quickly embraced by Neytiri.

You were smiling, happy that you've finally rid your father of the nightmare that had burdened your family.

But when you began to see the look Jake had. You started to notice that was not the look of approval you hoped for.

"Y/n . . .What have you done?"

Your smile dropped, being replaced with confution

"Wha-. . .what? what's wrong? what did I do wrong!?" You didn't understand. Did you not put them down fast enough? Should you have taken out the leader before the others? What was it that was wrong??

"Y/n, baby. This--" He was pointing out to the bloody battle around them "--Is wrong. You tampered with their body's. Some of them are still bleeding out!"

"N-no! it's okay you see! I made it for them to not move at all and suffer their punishment." You tried to defend yourself. Tried to make your dear father know that it was okay. And that you did a good job.

Neytiri hurried the children to exit this part of the forest fast, including Spider. Neytiri didn't like Spider, but the boy didn't deserve to see all of this. None of her children did.

"That is not our way!" Jake yelled. Frustrated, worried and scared for his daughter in front of them.

Your ears pinned back. Feelings of sadness, betrayal and anger infecting your heart.

"Well, your way didn't work for me. You said so yourself! Why can't you just be happy!?" Your nose scrunched up in anger.

"I did this for the clan, for our family-- For you!" You were getting upset. All you wanted was the feeling of being called a Sully, worthy of the tittle as Toruk Makto's daughter.

"You can't do this. Your way will bring unbalance to the clan. And if you can't do that. . . then I'll have to strip your tittle as a warrior of this clan." Jake's words caused everyone to stop.

"Ma jake." Neytiri spoke, her eyes glancing between her mate and child.

You felt your bottom lip quivering. But your eyes refused to release the tears. You slowly backed away from Jake, nodding your head a little. Your eyes found its way to Spider who kept tripping, his legs still shaking from what he witnessed.

"Spider." You spoke up. The boy forced himself to look at you.

"Keep tripping like that. . . . . and you'll get killed."

#jake sully #neytiri #neteyam #lo'ak x sister!reader #jake sully x daughter reader #kiri avatar #spider #tuktirey #na'vi x reader #death mention tw #animal death

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darby-rowe · 2 months

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imagine being a pretty district 12 girl and peacekeeper!coryo just has to have you, he can’t bear the thought of not being able to have you, so when he sees you at the hob he gets you really drunk and then takes you to the alleyway. and of course you’re a virgin and you keep telling him to stop touching you but it feels so good at the same time, and he just has to have what’s his, or else. he wants to see you squirming as you try to take him, to watch as the tears trickle down your cheeks as you whimper and tell him he’s ‘too big’ and you can’t take it.

- a 🎀

i dont write enough peacekeeper!coryo (mainly bc im not a buzzcut girlie at all GASP) but damn there are so many good ideas for dark fics w him 🤤 and this ask is DELICIOUS

mayhaps i got....... a bit carried away..........

18+ | nsfw | mdni cw fem!reader, NONCON/DUBCON, dead dove do not eat, alcohol consumption, vaginal tearing, blood (coryo has an implied blood kink) tw emetophobia (but not graphic)

➽───────────────❥

you knew damn well that peacekeepers were forces to be reckoned with, but one night you let your better instincts slip away from you as you drank nearly a quarter of your body weight in moonshine.

and the pretty peacekeeper with the blonde buzz and piercing blue eyes had been eyeing you all night, getting you drink after drink after drink. even after you kept politely declining, he just kept insisting. you already struggled with standing up to authority, and you weren't going to start. especially since you were quickly losing your ability to make judgements.

somehow you made it to an alleyway with your front pressed against the cold, dank wall with the peacekeeper's fingers forcing their way into your panties. you whined as your body pathetically attempted to push him away, but your head was spinning, speech slurred and incoherent.

you whimpered as you felt his middle finger circle your clit, involuntarily rocking your hips into his touch. "nnno," you slurred, not even attempting to hide the moans threatening to escape your throat. "never... never... done this—"

the peacekeeper just chuckled in your ear as he continued to prod his fingers at your swollen clit. "shh, don't worry, little dove," he cooed mockingly. "gonna take this pussy right here and there's nothing you can do about it. fill you up with my cock. fuck, you're soaking wet,"

you were defenseless as the peacekeeper lifted up your dress and pulled down your cotton panties, making you yelp in a mixture of surprise and fear. you tried again to get out of his grasp, but he had the advantage of being sober and way stronger than you. all you could do was whimper softly as the tip of his cock tease your wet folds, making you shudder.

"can't wait to fuck you," he sighed, easing himself into your small, tight hole. you gasped as you were ripped open, raising yourself up on your tiptoes to try to squirm away from the pain. but once again you were trapped in between the peacekeeper and the dank wall.

tears sprang from your eyes and spilled down your cheeks, your cries coming out in weak croaks. it hurt so bad; a perpetual sting that rocked through your entire body. you prayed for something — anything — to come take away this unbearable pain.

"hurts," you choked, nearly gagging on your tears. "please, sir, hurts s'bad. too big. can't take it...!"

the peacekeeper continued to thrust his large cock into your abused cunt. he looked down, watching as blood began to slowly trickle out of your hole and cover the shaft of his cock. the sight only made him harder, the crimson liquid making it easier for him to slide in and out of you.

"perfect district pussy," he growled, unable to tear his eyes away from his blood-soaked cock. "doing so well taking me. covering my cock in your blood. fuck, baby, 'm gonna cum so fuckin' hard,"

it was a perplexing mixture of feelings; the pain of having your walls abused and ripped open colliding with an earth-shattering orgasm. you didn't even notice the peacekeeper shooting his load deep inside you until he pulled out to admire how your blood and his cum dripped out of your cunt.

you heard the sound of him fixing his clothes. and with a final tap to your hip, he left you alone to process the events that just transpired.

as the wave of nausea finally hit you, you hunched over and expelled whatever moonshine was left in your system.

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