#my parents really are pretty cool

[eyeofnewtblog]

Things that happen at home:

So my parents have a weird dynamic that (works best for them) involves living in two cities because their engineering careers took a sharp turn they weren’t expecting. Basically my mom has gotten a degree after each birth, and my dad got his PhD knocked out before I was 8 years old. (I attended their respective PhD graduate ceremonies at 7 and 28 respectively)

Now, back in the 1980s, they were both socially aware engineers, they knew my mom would have to job hop, to catch up to the steady progress that my dad was making, they knew that my mom was going to face discrimination for being female. They knew. They prepared. (Be aware that I’m only making conjectures about my parents lives based on context clues, not actual shit they’ve told me because “our money, our careers, our business, you’re lucky we tell you anything at all” which is completely fair) so, my mom has had about 20 different employers vs my dads 3, but she makes twice as much as him.

Now, to be fair to my dad, he’s flat out said he’s completely comfortable doing exactly what he’s doing until he’s 80 and actually hated the idea of retiring. My mom? Couldn’t care less as long as the bills are paid and she doesn’t have to deal “emotionally and socially stunted butt faces”

Basically the reason my dad isn’t more high up is because he refuses to put up with bigotry but is basically untouchable because of the work he already put in, and the reason my mom makes more money is because she just leaves whenever asshats get to hard to deal with.

Don’t get me wrong, engineers can be so good to work with as long as they’re willing to explain exactly what they want done and why it needs to be done that way; I personally love working with plumbers and electricians and mechanics that should have gotten better education opportunity, for this exact reason.

Anyway, I’m not actually sure where I was going with this, but to sum up from the first paragraph, my parents live in different cities, a ten hour drive and two hour flight apart, and they make it work. Yeah, they have tiffs, but it’s not impossible for anyone, you just have to find what works best for you as a couple.

My parents are my inspiration and if losing a child in the first two years of their relationship (relationship, not marriage) didn’t break them, nothing will.

#humans are space orcs #weird packaging #pack bonding #my parents really are pretty cool #things that happen at home

[front-facing-pokemon]

#bonus extra forms under the cut #burmy #i guess it's not technically a Bonus but it is three images in one post. anyway why is trash-form burmy pink #i never understood this. i'd hear about trash form and go wow it must be like. black and brown with marks of trash all over it and cool #like trubbish. but they just made it pretty pink and cute. how? why? why would a creature that lives in the trash become bright pink #“that hot pink bitch is named breakfast” et cetera #i dunno. whenever i see burmy i think of that one clip from detective pikachu where it's just like #burmy! burmymymy! burmy… burmy :( and pikachu is like WOAH WHAT THE FUCK #i've never played detective pikachu. i should. i probably will go back and play the original once the one on the switch comes out #i saw the movie though. but i don't think that's. anywhere related to the games. to be honest. i also remember going and seeing it in #the theater and it was fucking. me‚ my mom‚ and one other parent/child duo and that's IT. NO one was there in the theater to see it #and we literally just went to go see it on a fuckin. whim. we were driving by‚ looking for something to do‚ and saw that a random theater #was showing detective pikachu. and we just said Fuck It. and it was cool but she kept asking me about every pokémon during the movie #and then it had that really weird ableist villain that was fucked up but the pokémon were cute

[pansyfemme]

thinking about an ask i got when i was 14 that has stuck with me forever because it was like. accusing me of lying about having bi4bi parents. why would that be anything even remotely interesting enough to lie about

#its cool and it made me rlly open to queerness at an early age bc even tho i didn't know my parents were bi- #anyone old enough to understand that they had lives before they got married and had kids would be able to read them pretty easily. #they had a lot of queer and trans friends too so i grew up knowing about everything #i was just a kid and didn't rlly.. think about the fact my parents had had other partners before eachother much and it never really totally #came up what the genders of those partners were. it wasn't a secret it just never rlly came up #my parents are now both of the mindset of the fact that they both still identify as bi but they don't feel the need to bring it up a lot #because theyve been married for 23 years. its not all that important anymore in their day to day lives

[designernishiki]

okay but. why does it seem like 24 year old majima’s ridden a horse before. why does he talk like he has Experience. what is this lost lore

#rambling #we just gonna gloss over this #to me ​this either implies he’s from either a REALLY country background Or on the other end of the spectrum (my personal belief) and he’s #from an upper middle class to well off background and has been to like horse camp or horseriding lessons or something in his childhood #oh man please i love the image of an 8-14 year old majima being made to do horseriding by his parents because hes this #lanky pale ass kid who needs to do SOME kind of sport or something #and boy would he Hate it #he’s bizarrely prodigious at a Lot of the (especially technique based) things he tries canonically so I imagine he wouldn’t actually be Bad #at it after some trial and error but. he’d still fucking hate it. and his cool persona in his head would be riding a motorcycle or something #instead cause that’s Way cooler to him #man I have so many thoughts about young majima I really gotta go into depth on it soon #oh yeah just a note: part of the reason I don’t think he’s from a country background is cause his Real Accent canonically is #a tokyo one which he’s still getting the hang of covering up with a kansai one when he’s 20. meaning there’s not a ton of time for him to #have adjusted into a Tokyo one or something prior if he hadn’t grown up there #so I’m pretty damn sure he’s from Tokyo #that + a number of other details that make him seem to me like he grew up with a more formal education #and ywah blah blah blah #majima #Yuki #sunshine siblings #y0

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭 #so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-] #unrelated

[nojaloart]

every time i come home i root around in my parents’ closet to steal unworn clothes to add to my uni wardrobe. i like wearing cool clothes and hate spending money!

(also a silly lil doodle of me planning my possibly next halloween costume as tigress kfp) (yes it is december who cares)

#todays finds: scarves. hats. gloves. black lace skirt and button up top. leg warmers. the cool red shirt that idk the name of. #art tingz #i think i’m pretty fashionable but also very broke. we cope #i also really like drawing outfits i should draw more i have a lot of cool ones #ngl idk who’s clothes these are cos i found them in my bedroom closet but theyre not mine. and theyre not my parents’. soooo 🤷 #my bet is one of my many cousins or grandmother who has lived here over the years #gale screams into the void

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.

#blue chatter #am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no. #ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing #but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics. #and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t. #and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture #which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people #autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf! #not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people #depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay #but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL #and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them #I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house #their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting #I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation #they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo #which is rly neat #it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’ #which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower. #but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes. #oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her. #which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page. #Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time. #which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e #it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid #and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’ #and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun #I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^

[wayfinderships]

Hi, I see that you selfship with Prompto and Noctis! I would love to hear about your FFXV s/i and your ship with them if you'd like to share!

Hello Anon!! :D Agksnfkdk I'd be happy to share about them! I love getting the opportunity to go off about my s/is and ships to thank you for the opportunity <3

So basically my FFXV s/i was born in the Kingdom of Lucius! They met Prompto and Noct in high school and the three became inseparable ever since <3 At some point in High School, Noct and Prompto are chatting in private and reveal their crush and have a Spiderman Pointing Meme moment when they realize that they both like Panchi-gjdbgjdf The two just gush together! It's pretty cute! Panchi doesn't develop feelings for the two of them till the actual road trip starts! Speaking of the road trip, Panchi's weapon is an Axe and you cna often see them journaling during the adventure!

If you're wondering how Panchi gets along with Gladio and Ignis...They get along well actually! Panchi really respects Ignis so they always call him by his name instead of a nickname like Iggy and help him out with cooking from time to time and help him encourage Noctis to eat his veggies. Panchi is a little intimidated by Gladio when they first meet him but they warm up eventually! I like to think that Panchi immediately goes to Gladio for advice once they've caught feelings for Prompto and Noctis-afkdnfks Gladio had probably teased the three of them about being so close on multiple occasions

Also I have like multiple versions of the plot in my head bc of the ending but in the Au where Noctis is Alive and Well, the three of them are happily dating each other! Noct gets two boyfriends to nap with, Prompto gets two boyfriends who reassure him that he's loved and take photos with him (even if Panchi is extremely camera shy), and Panchi gets two boyfriends to play videogames with! All three of them know each other well because of all the years they've known each other and it shows, the three have multiple inside jokes and are so comfortable around each other! If Noct is the Moon and Prompto is the Sun then Panchi is the Stars!

Art by the lovely Cupiidzbow! His art is absolutely lovely and totally recommend commissioning him if you can!

#pan got an ask #anon #Sorry if this all seems jumbled-agkskfkd My brain is mush rn #I didn't really mention too much about Panchi's backstory and that's simply bc I never fully decided on what I wanted to do #I had an idea once that Panchi's parents are from Niflheim #and they still worked for Niflheim so maybe Panchi going to the same school and Noct wasn't a complete coincidence after all #but I've kinda scrapped that for now since I couldn't think about where to take that from there #Something I've been considering is having Panchi be from Tenebrae! I think it'd be cool to have all three of them be from different places #No matter where Panchi is from though- One thing is certain and that is that they love Prompto and Noctis! #Also during the timeskip Panchi cuts their hair a bit and gets a facial scar #Pretty cool looking methinks! #But yeah-agksnfjd Prompto/Panchi/Noctis are just a bunch of dorks that love each other <3 #f/o: 💤 #f/o: 📷 #s/i: FF15

[zincbot]

i gotta say, 13 hours into omori, i don't get why people call it a horror game

#omori #like there's been occasional creepy scenes but they're usually quite short especially compared to the broader tone of the game #it does have a serious story. about like. trauma and failing friendships? that i'm really intrigued by as it slowly uncovers #like maybe it leans further into horror elements as the game goes on but i gotta say the elements that do exist aren't enough for me #to explicitly call it 'horror' #don't get me wrong i love this game and i love the spooky moments they're really fun! #i just went thru the train ride bit which was pretty fun i liked how the shadow at the end says the name of ur real-world character #even though ur playing as omori in the dream world #also no spoilers but it's unclear to me as of now if omori is just haunted by the memory of his sister's death #or if her spirit is Actually haunting him #also i had flowers and i thought maybe i cld put them on her grave but it didn't give me the option #also i loved the moment where kel talks about hero's depression and the way he himself was overlooked by h #their parents #man. i love all these characters so much #god the scene where aubrey fights you in the church and the whole time all the churchgoers are whispering about how terrible she is #i felt so bad for her man #also her design in the real world is cool as hell #also i actually lost to aubrey during the church scene but i didn't get a game over she just let me be and left #omori spoilers #i know the game is old-ish but my wording may have implied i wasn't going to spoil and i totally did #what i meant was don't tell me abt the future story of the game i'm only on 'three days left'

[tvrningout]

i see or hear alternative/punk rock content and arata screams at the top of his lungs to let him out

#sorry to be talking about yet another muse but i won't lie!! arata pops into my brain kinda often!! #i'm in my creating/revamping oc's era rn i guess asdf #bc maybe i could just kinda?? scratch all his original stuff and maybe the original stuff for all his bandmates too #refocus him a bit somehow #i'll always be attached to stand out!!'s original dynamic but i also think it'd be nice if i maybe left some of those connections open #for others to take? like you have a muse who would be the front man of a band?? or the drummer?? lead guitarist?? #cool bc arata's a bassist!! play with him!! be his bandmate!! #also just thinking about him being the driving force behind the band -- he's the reason they get together #which was partially the concept before but not completely #i think this time i would want to focus more on the idea that arata pretty much loses stability at home once his parents divorce #his sister doesn't live with him anymore #so he's determined to build a new family even though he doesn't realize that's what he's doing #this band becomes his world not just bc he loves music but bc it's all that he feels he really has -- it keeps him sane #i dunno y'all asdfg i like the idea but should i bring our silly lil bassist back to bug everyone? am i doing too much :' ) #also i'm back!! gonna try to get some things done now that it's quiet <3 #get ready to ramble | ooc

[mortellanarts]

Zero Sum Game

#zero escape #zero time dilemma #ztd #akane kurashiki #zero escape spoilers #just in case #blood cw #I am so obsessed with this rewrite you guys have no idea #so much work was clearly put into it and it's the author's main project atm so please check it out and support them! #but okay so coolest things about this fic for me is how it's structured just like the game with fragments and it's interactive! #there's voting every other week on what fragment to go next or what decision to make #other awesome stuff is Akane being the pov and teams rotating instead of it being only the same fixed three that can interact w each other #it's pretty cool to see interactions that we all sort of expected to happen from vlr like akane and sigma that just. never did #also Aoi's there :3 and I'm loving everyone's characterization so far it's really down to how I imagine them too like super close #the sibling bonding stuff absolutely kills me it's so genuine and cute #but also it's just as brutal as ztd already is so that's. what inspired this I guess #but I like this though like there is Such weight to it when it happens and there's some lines that absolutely never leaving my brain #Akane also actually Has issues™ with stuff that she should have issues with. i.e fire and doctors #oh and they actually explore the thing about the Kurashikis parents too #and oh yeah there's some cast changes. Mira still there but Eric's not Sean's nowhere to be seen #jury is still out on zero being Delta tbh? it's ongoing and there's a lot of build up to this also this zero's got a masked assistant too #maria is there too which is really nice it makes carlos so much more tolerable #there's so much going on and my brain latched on Really Hard so I'll cut myself off here for now but I'm sure I'll make more fanart akdhjs #but yeah check it out tho! and support he author they really deserve it :3 #fanfic #horror art

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

just rambling bc i have feelings and i need to put them into words :))

it's so so weird to me that punk is often stereotyped as aggressive or portrayed as dark and gritty and aggressive outcasts who hate everything or whatever because like, it is not that at all??

Like, in my experience, yeah - we do refuse to fit in, it's a conscious choice to reject societal norms and yeah, it is supposed to provoke, and yes, there's quite some aggression building up against fascists and the system and stuff, but that's not the core of it.

Like, that's what you usually see, especially in the music, but what I've seen is that really it's about community.

Yes, we're misfits, we're outcasts, and you know what, we're not fitting in together. Yes, we're fighting the system, because people deserve better than that. Yes, it's a fight, but we're standing together and change can come but it doesn't *have* to be violent. It's not about the violence. It's about the change. It's about making things better.

And the music isn't all "everything sucks, burn down the world as it exists" it's "the world is really fucked so we have to do something about it, we can and will CHANGE this and we'll do all we can to create a better world." it's "listen, see, notice these fucking issues we HAVE to deal with!"

the concerts aren't all "jumping around knocking into everyone randomly and aggressively" it's "if someone falls we'll shield them and help them back up and make sure they're okay" and it's "if someone behaves like an asshole we'll kick them out immediately, no questions asked, no second chances, with physical force if we have to", it's "everyone is safe here"

it's not dark and gritty and aggressive. it's colourful and joyful despite despite despite. it's seeing the issues, and building community to change that together. it's not subscribing to the world's bullshit and whatever lying narrative the media picks up next.

All I've ever seen in punk culture is community and acceptance and the fierce push for change. Punks are some of the nicest and most intelligent people I know. I have never, not once, felt unsafe at a concert or around those people. And that's mostly strangers thrice my age because I'm like, the only teen punk in my fucking town.

And I mean, it's not the point for everyone to know that. We'll do what we do regardless. We'll be who we are. And having a reputation for kindness and acceptance would not work because we ARE trying to provoke, to draw attention and weird side-looks, to not fit in.

But whenever I see punk used as an insult, or just another word for delinquent, or aggressiveness for violence's sake, I'm just so so so confused.

#i LOVE not fitting in i LOVE getting weird glances i LOVE every stupid comment i get which is only two so far #i LOVE being part of this subculture and community #i am slightly sad that you never see any young punks around my town tho #we have a pretty neat punk scene and its actually really cool for bands despite this being a tiny town of bumfuck nowhere #like theres literally bands from all over the world playin here #but its mostly 50+ punks and expunks and a handful 20-something students #1 or 2 kids my age whose parents dragged them along as well but... no young obviously punk people #...... well. there ARE a whole lot of antifa graffs everywhere so maybe im looking in the wrong places #or theyre just around the scene but not in it style and all #but still #but anyway FUCK everyone who thinks punk is just violent and so much love to all leftist folks everywhere #a biscuit's rambles

[kidfur]

ok that poast got me thinking so rq rant abt my sibling . in the tags bc i cant figure out how go add a readmore on the version of tumblr mobile i use

#wishy speaks #so like #my sibling is Pretty successful for someone their age #they rent a nice place in a town they enjoy living in and have a long term partner and a secure career #and their partner has an even more secure career #and they got all A's their entire time in school #not that it was necessarily easy for them but they still Did That #im really grateful my parents never held me to the same standard bc even tho they didnt know i was autistic they knew i was Different #and had a lot of trouble sometimes #but my sibling thinks that i can just. do a lot of the same stuff they do if i try? #they said to mom that they have issues like mine too and still do all these cool things wrt careers and school #and like. do you understand how different we are. #we are such wildly different people. even disregarding my disability. do you not see the miles between us #do you understand i have limitations you dont? that im not just a smaller lazier cringier version of you? #you are 5 years older than me #you have had 23 years to get to know me #and this is the conclusion you come to? #im so like. disappointed in them #its hard to talk to them without them trying to give me their company skillshare login or telling me to monetize one of my hobbies #especially website design. ugh. designing and coding a personal website gives me migraines. doing it for a client would make me explode #i cant fucking brush my teeth or shower without someone Telling Me To #what makes you think i can go back to college? get a job? take online classes? what the fuck makes you think that??? #when our own mother understands me better than you do i think thats a big sign you fucked up #its just so frustrating #i miss that period where they had just finished school and lived at home until they moved away for a job opportunity and we played games all #day together #they didn't pressure me into anything then bc i was just in high school still #but now that im out of school and a college dropout its like they think im just being lazy and underestimating myself #and yea its not like ive Tried getting a job #but when i can barely take care of myself its not like thats a high priority

[lonely--seeker]

Saw op red film today and firstly, I enjoyed the movie, really did. Secondly tho, why do I feel there was so much, so much, potential lost?? Can I trust fanfiction will fix this?

#im just sad bc we didn't get to see the strawhats interacting together. fights were sick. music was sick too! #but i want to fucking see them interacting. how can i stress this enough. let them fucking hang out pls we already dont get that in canon #there were so many characters that changed nothing for being there or were there just as plot devices/fanservice #which is cool I loved to see Brulee again. but i wanted to see ;;;;;;;; the strawhats ;;; ;;; pretty please ;; #im just really not vibing with shanks-uta and yasopp-usopp parenting honestly. #i liked the moment Usopp said something along the lines of #alsp unrelated to the movie but i watched it subbed. and kid you not the subs were ughhhh not great. #i may be too used to fan subs but cOME ON #i think they simply took the dubbed script and slapped it down and it defeated the whole purpose #i want to know what they are actually saying. not an adaptation of that. #but that might be my picky ass. because if i keep complaining people will think i hated the movie when in reality #it's;; complicated;;; #yes i had a good time watching. but i was left longing for them to be more brave and write something not cliche? if that makes sense?? idk #i haven't really been in touch with what people said abt the movie so now im curious #it jad it's ups and downs and in the end. im probably asking for toouch out of it * sigh * i need to sleeep #tag hell #me blabbering #one piece #op spoilers #op red #one piece red film #spoilers

[thedreadvampy]

realising how much of my expansion beyond rock and metal into a wide range of genres is because:

Slipknot crossed over with the edgy/gothier end of 2000s hiphop

Disturbed are just like. The BIGGEST nerds for 80s British pop (they're not alone in that, it's a whole numetal Thing, but I think like a solid 10% of the 80s pop I listen to I first heard as a Disturbed cover)

Lady Gaga was the top 40 artist it was Okay For Edgy Alternative Teens To Like In 2007

Being an Alternative 2000s Teen was in many ways very musically stifling cause it was incumbent upon me to perform disdain for anything deemed too Pop.

I was somewhat rescued by my own gayness (when me and my gay goblin friends discovered CAMP!!!! and got semi-ironically big into Katy Perry and Rihanna and of course Gaga) but mostly I was so aggressively self-policing my music tastes and deciding what to listen to based more on my assessment of where it fitted socially than on whether I like. Liked it.

Catch 13 year old me studiously typing "punk" and "metal" into Limewire and listening to whatever came up. Catch 15 year old me assessing whether the fact that Rihanna is making music videos about murder in black lipstick means it's ok to like top 40 pop. Complicated by the fact that honestly half the biggest Alternative Teen bait acts of the 2000s were pop as hell, and that as above, numetal acts were nerdy musicians with a broad range of tastes outside metal, and it was very complicated for me. It probably took me until I was like 20 to really start to get a handle on what I personally liked musically, rather than what fit my persona (vividly remember being in a goth club when I was like 18 where they closed out the night with Leonard Cohen's Closing Time every time, and thinking like oh man am I allowed to like Leonard Cohen then? having been listening to Leonard Cohen since I was a literal infant.)

Once I let go of the sense of having to like the Right Music, I very rapidly developed very eclectic tastes and music became a really big part of my life. although my friend did recently still describe my music taste as "two genres - heavy and gay" so that 2000s alt teen is still in there big time.

I think it's a normal thing about being a kid. You're developing music taste basically from scratch and there's a world of music out there so it helps to start out with a narrow focus and build a solid few acts, albums or genres you really like and work out from there. But I do regret how much good music I missed out on first time around because even though I liked it I wrote it off for being rap or being too pop or too upbeat. But the good thing about music is that it doesn't go away! I'm still discovering a lot of music that I heard 50000 times when it was on the radio but never really listened to at the time. It's fun!

#red said #also i do think the fact that my family didn't really listen to music radio did change the ways i developed taste #it was talk radio or music my parents or us kids already owned so there wasn't like. a time i was listening to new music where #i wasn't also performing Teen Coolness for other kids. i mostly heard new music in the art room at school or in cafes or on coaches #whereas i know a lot of people who built their foundational music tastes really on from what was on the radio when they were kids #lot of people i know reminisce about hearing certain songs in the car to school etc and for me that's not music that's BBC Radio 4 #idk i think it's really interesting that like. early developmental stage of music tastes #cause it's different for everyone. for most it's a patchwork of your family's music what your friends listen to and what's on the radio #as well as stuff you stumble on or seek out of of interest #and the balance is different for everyone. i think it says a lot about your experience of childhood #and i also think like for myself I'm often quite judgemental of child!me's basic and limited tastes #because i was pretty judgemental of myself at the time for not knowing Enough Music #and as an adult I'm like nah that's a pretty vital part of development. like you don't get mad at a baby for not knowing what words mean. #you have to start somewhere! when you're 14 you've only had 14 years to listen to music and for most of that time you weren't choosing it #and you probably haven't been going out to gigs or record stores off your own back. you're going with friends or family's recommendations #so like as a teen i knew my parent's music. i knew my brother's music. i read Kerrang! and listened to stuff my friends suggested #but it took time to build up that solid foundation to go 'what i like is a hefty beat/ bass and a lot of energy. i will find more of that.'

[aq2003]

oh btw i get even more why brennan (like me) clocked sophomore year fabian as fucked up and sad even if some of the other pcs were like "what are you talking about dude" . it's because the basic core theses of fabian and leiland eftbk as characters are actually pretty similar

#AND matt mercer was like 'yes absolutely. my character has so many issues' meanwhile b4 lou could even say anything siobhan/adaine #went 'fabian isnt depressed his life rules.' #which like. 1) deeply incorrect statement. 2) fairly in character for adaine to say. 3) unfortunately this caused #a pretty big shift in tone w regards to how seriously fabian's arc ended up being executed #2.5) i could write a whole other post on how point 2 could be a super interesting thing to explore w adaine #she starts off so aware of there being no love from her parents towards her. so she sees love between a parent and a child #and cant conceptualize their relationship being ultimately harmful. like she learned long ago that there was no point seeking approval from #her parents meanwhile fabian made it his whole entire life's goal to do just that thing. both of them are fucked up in opposite directions. #crunchy concept yet very unexplored. and i'm not expecting this to happen in a potential s3 im just throwing ideas around like basebal #d20 #eftbk #fantasy high #sorry wrote all those tags then forgot to elaborate on how fabian and leiland are similar anyway it's this whole idea of #having this unhealthy dependency on the approval of someone you admire to the ends of the earth despite them being #fully and clearly a toxic influence on you. The whole illusion of inflated self worth howthat all crumbles when you Realize how fragile you #whole entire worldview was. and THEN you have an embarrassing breakdown in front of ur friends #and this is SO terrifying because you have really tried your best to look really cool and put-together in front of them #it's the 'getting knocked down SO hard and having to build yourself up by recognizing the love from your friends #+finding something completely different from the person you hinged your entire being on in order to find your way to the surface' of it all #also galfast/whitclaw are surprisingly similar narrative wise it's so funny to me. th storytelling series of nat 1s against an op enemy </3 #i think it WAS easier to execute leiland's character arc in the way it was bc a) he was played to be so CLEARLY insecure from minute 1 #and b) it is very easy to condemn ripoff sauron and say 'yeah this guy sucked and we're glad that leiland and maggie are free from him' #meanwhile for fabian. a) he has convinced himself that nothing is wrong with him even though there so clearly is #and b) you have to acknowledge that bill loved his son so deeply yet was such a bad influence on him #it's such a bittersweet-bitter complexity and i imagine it would be super hard to pull off esp when bill and fabian's dynamic is #played as fairly comedic most of the time. in this vein of 'this evil guy is so evil but he cares about his son this hard and it's funny' #and also just the fact this kind of bitter complicated parent-child dynamic is very rarely portrayed and pulled off well. #WHY the fuck are these tags so long if you read all this i'm so sorry