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rafeandonlyrafe · 2 months

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pussy privileges

words: 1.6k

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, female receiving oral, p in v sex, multiple orgasms, partying, drinking, mentions of a drunk driving crash, rafe is kind of mean but in the grand scheme of rafe not really, established relationship

“i thought we were gonna go on a date.” you cross your arms as rafe finishes buttoning up his shirt.

“we are going out.” rafe tries to justify, but you shake your head. “you’re taking me to a house party, rafe. thats not a freaking date.”

“ill take you out tomorrow. dinner and a movie?” rafe offers to pacify the angry look on your face.

“fine.” you shrug, knowing there is no convincing rafe to not go the party if hes set his mind on it. you point at rafe, making sure he’s paying attention to you. “but im not happy about it.”

you don’t talk to rafe the entire ride there. you would have told him you were staying home, but you already got dressed up and don’t want to waste a full face of makeup and outfit.

“be right back, baby.” rafe says, making you throw your hands up as he walks away to talk to topper, having just entered the party a few minutes ago and your boyfriend is already abandoning you.

“god, rafe is being a dick today.” you groan, stomping up to your friend, who simply shakes her head and hands you a drink. you know that rafe isn’t really being a dick, not in comparison to how he treats other people, but you can’t resist the urge to complain.

“promising to take me out on a nice date night only to take me to a party and fuck off with topper.” you roll your eyes, downing your drink quickly before refilling the cup.

rafe finds you half an hour later, dancing with your friends. the music is so good you don’t stop him when his hands land on your hips, joining you in dancing.

you grind against him until your feet start to hurt, the song shifting to one you haven’t heard before. “rafey.” you whine, leaning back into him. “wanna go home.” “come on, you can wait. keep dancing.” rafe pushes his hips into your bum, making you roll your eyes. “no! im tired.”

rafe taps your hips, trying to encourage you to move, but you keep yourself standing still, much to his displeasure. “baby.” rafe turns you around so you’re facing him. he cups your cheeks as he speaks, “a bit longer. i like you dancing up on me.”

“fine.” you sigh. “gotta get me another drink though.” “thats my girl.” rafe smirks, grabbing a white claw off a nearby table before quickly coming back, pushing it into your hand before twisting your hips around, almost causing you to stumble as he presses his chest into your back, dancing into you again.

“rafey.” you whine when you realize he didn’t even open the can for you like he always does, but hes far too into dancing into you to hear your complaints over the loud music.

you manage to open the can without breaking a nail, grinding back slightly into rafe until you’ve finished the can, the alcohol moving through your system enough to ignore how much your heels are beginning to hurt, dancing back into rafe.

“god, you’re hot.” he groans into your ear, pressing a kiss under your ear before moving to your neck, burying his head in your soft skin, inhaling your scent.

“rafe!” you shout when his mouth presses against your skin and he sucks an incredibly visible hickey into your neck. you pull away quickly, but know it’s already going to bruise as you turn with a frown, your hands on your hips.

“sorry.” rafe says, but the smile on his face shows that he’s not actually sorry.

“whatever.” you sigh, rubbing at the spot. “just take me home.”

“fine.” rafe sighs, reaching for your hand, knowing it’s getting too late anyways. he tugs you through the crowd until you get outside.

“did you drink or take anything?” you ask, raising your eyebrows at rafe when he walks towards his truck. it’s only a short drive home, but you don’t want anything to happen.

“barely.” rafe says, unlocking his truck and opening the passenger side door for you.

“lets just walk home then.” you shake your head. “it’s so close.” rafe knows how much you hate drunk drivers ever since one hit your sisters car, thankfully she was fine besides a few bruises.

rafe sighs, head tilting back to look at the sky. “why didn’t i just lie?”

“ugh!” you stomp your foot. “rafe, that is so wrong!”

“baby, i really had just like two sips when we first-” rafe tries to explain, he’s truly not even buzzed, but you are already walking away, heading down the sidewalk towards tanneyhill. you don’t make it very far, rafe trailing behind you, until you have to kick off your heels.

rafe would usually pick you up, carry you home, but he knows your mad so decides to stay back, letting you walk barefoot home.

“baby-” rafe finally speaks when you get to the front door, but you just walk in, leaving it open for rafe to follow.

“y/n…” rafe tries again when you both get inside his room, but you ignore his call of your name and begin to take off your jewelry, before moving to your dress, quickly putting on pajamas once you’re naked.

rafe takes it as a sign, undressing himself for bed, relieved when you climb under the covers next to him.

“come here.” rafe holds his arms open. you hesitate for a second before moving in, allowing him to cuddle into you and press kisses all over your face.

“i’m so sorry, princess.” he says softly, connecting your lips in a kiss.

“you can make it up to me tomorrow on our very nice and well planned date.” you give a look to rafe, who quickly nods.

he leans in to kiss you again, and you accept it, allowing his hand to wrap around your waist and pull you in closer, bodies slotting together underneath the covers.

“i love you baby.” rafe says, his hand moving to underneath your flimsy pajama shirt.

“love you too.” you say, reaching to pull his hand back out, placing it on top of the fabric.

rafe frowns slightly before kissing you again, this time trying to move your leg so he can slot himself in between. you allow it, until he starts to grind into you. the second you feel him begin to swell in his pants, you pull away, pressing your thighs together.

“baby.” rafe whines. “i want you, come on.”

“and i want you to not be a dick.” you shake your head. you may have accepted rafes apology for his behavior, but aren’t willing to so quickly allow him to have sex with you.

“i said sorry!” “you can fuck me after you make it up to me tomorrow on the date. and it better be good, or i’ll get myself off and leave you alone.” you threaten, smirking when rafes eyes widen.

“okay, okay.” he nods. “tomorrow.”

rafe does everything right. flowers, a dinner reservation to a fancy restaurant, a new dress and necklace, as well as doting on you throughout the entire date.

“did i make it up to you?” rafe asks.

“hmm…” you tap your finger against your chin, rafe barely able to wait as you stand before him, new dress wrapping around your body like a present just waiting to be pulled away by rafe to reveal what he really wants to see.

“i don’t know. maybe the date was a little too good.” you let out a fake yawn. “a bit tired. might just have to go right to sleep.”

“baby-” rafe whines. he hasn’t gone this long without having you since you first started dating.

“but i guess you could eat me out and we can see if you deserve to fuck me.”

rafe smiles, knowing as soon as he gets between your legs, that you’ll be begging for his cock in no time. he undresses you completely before he even begins to work on his buttons, giving you a show as you lay naked on the bed, head propped up against the pillows as he strips away the layers of clothing until he’s nude, cock already straining.

rafe crawls between your legs, sighing with relief when you spread them, letting him view your pussy as he immediately buries his face between your legs, eating out your pussy like you’ve intentionally starved him of it, not just denied him sex one night.

“god, i fucking love how you taste baby.” rafe mumbles, his words vibrating against your cunt. “‘m so sorry i was a dick. won’t happen again. love you too much.”

you can’t help but smile when you reach down to fist your hands into rafes hair. his tongue gets you to orgasm three times until you’re whining for his cock too much, tugging at his hair.

rafe gives your sensitive clit a final kiss before crawling up the bed, connecting your mouths in a kiss, knowing how much you love to taste yourself on his lips.

“fuck me, come on.” you tell rafe. “need it so bad.”

rafe pushes his cock against your entrance, making you moan as he slowly brings his hips forward, sinking inside of you with ease.

“god, that was as much of a punishment for me as it was for you.” you laugh slightly when rafe is fully inside of you, still for a moment for you to adjust.

“certainly taught me a lesson.” rafe admits. he didn’t realize how hard it would be to go without fucking you. just one night felt like a century, his dick literally hurting when he woke up in the morning with a hard on, one that you would usually crawl beneath the covers to take care of.

“no pussy privledges when you’re mean.” you nod, confirming the rule, even though you hopefully never have to enforce it again.

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evie-sturns · 4 months

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miniskirt - Matt Sturniolo

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summary: you, matt, chris and madi are out walking in public, but your outfit is driving him crazy.

warnings: public bathroom sex, soft dom matt, smut!!

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(matt’s pov)

that fucking mini skirt. everytime she’s wears that skirt it results in us fucking, i don’t think there ever been a time she’s worn that and we haven’t fucked.

today, of all days, she’s wearing it. it’s sitting perfectlyon her hips as she walks with madi, she knows im staring but i can’t help it. the sexual frustration is building as quickly bends over to pick up her credit card that she just dropped, it only reveals a small portion of her panties but it’s enough for me to zone out everything chris is trying to tell me.

“matt are you even listenting?” chris says punching me in the arm and i instantly look at him “what?” i say playing dumb “oh please matt, you’ve been staring at y/n’s ass for 45 minutes” he says, probably a little too loud because y/n’s head instantly snaps back to stare at me, she smirks a little then continues talking to nick and madi. as soon as she’s not looking i shove chris and keep walking down the footpath.

(y/n’s pov)

we approach a small icecream truck and chris instantly drags madi and nick to it.

“hey guys does anyone know if there’s a bathroom around here?” i call out to my friends and matt instantly responds “oh yup, cmhere, i’ll take you while they order.” he says, much more confident then he usually is.

without another word he’s dragging me to the closest toilet block, which is practically abandoned from how empty it is.

“y’know you’ve been driving me fucking crazy this whole afternoon with that skirt.” he says breaking the comfortable silence. “hm?” i cluelessly respond, but in all seriousness i wore this skirt for one reason, and one reason only. “don’t play dumb y/n” he says sternly as he walks into a large stall with me, consisting of a toilet, a sink and a countertop. “hmm.. i think you’ll have to show me what’s driving you crazy.” i bite back and he instantly picks me up and drops me down on the countertop. his cold fingers grab my tight thighs and push them apart, revealing my white panties

“fucking hell.” he mumbles trying to stay calm as he pulls them to the side. “already so wet.” he tuts as he drags one of his ringed fingers from my entrance to my swollen clit. “more-..” is the only word i can squeeze out

“tell me why you wore that skirt hm?” he teases as he drags his fingers through my folds again “cause i wanted to.” i say challenging him, without warning he slams two fingers deep inside of me then instantly pulling out, i groan feeling the loss of contact “i think we both know that’s a lie.” he mumbled as he just looks at me “fine, i wanted you to fuck me because i know this skirt turns you on.” i whisper out and he smirks “good girl.” he says unbuckling his belt and yanking down his jeans.

the coldness of the bathroom mirror pressed against my back makes me shudder as i reach for his boxers, attempting to pull them down.

“you ready?” he says pulling down his navy blue boxers, letting his throbbing cock bounce out. “y-yes please” i say quietly and matt pushes his length, inch by inch, inside of me until i feel his tip kiss my cervix. he whimpers slightly “your so tight, i don’t know if i’m gonna last long with you squeezing me baby.” he warns as he starts to thrust into me slowly, i let out a loud moan and he instantly throws a hand over my mouth “we don’t want the others to hear if they come looking, do we?” he says as his tattooed arm holds me tight on the countertop.

“i’m gonna-“ i say, muffled by his hand but he instantly pulls out. “matt-“ i whine loudly out of frustration, he picks me up by my ass then closes the lid to the toilet, sitting down on it

“on.” he commands and i instantly straddle him, supporting my weight on his thighs, “go on” he says lifting me up by my ass and hovering me above his tip “you need some help getting on?” he asks softly and i nod. he nods aswell before biting his lip and dropping me slowly down on his cock. he lifts me back up to his tip and then pushes me back down to his base. i claw at his chest “fuck oh my god” i moan loudly as he frees one hand from my ass and shushes me again. he keeps lifting me up and down with one arm.

i clench around him without warning “fuck..” he groans “i’m gonna fill you up baby, is that okay?” he asks softly as he keeps thrusting up into me, “yes-yes..” i say out of desperation as i feel myself release on his length, shortly after he fills me up, thrusting a few more times to keep him cum buried inside me.

after a few minutes of panting, the door to bathrooms open, i freeze as i stay silent, matt still buried inside of me. “matt, y/n? which stall are you in.” madi calls out as matt slowly starts to thrust again , taunting me. “they’re probably not even here.” nicks voice follows

matt’s hand is sealed on my mouth as he thrusts slowly, but deeply. “just the end one, we’ll be a minute though.” matt calls out after a few seconds. i squeeze my eyes shut as matt thrusts deeper, and deeper. matt mouths at me “talk.” and my eyes widen, “u-ugh-.. sorry i-i uh..fuck-.. sorry i got- my period i’ll be a minute” as i speak matt smirks widely, watching me struggle to string a sentence together without moaning

madi knocks on the stall door, “do you need any supplies you sound a little distressed babe” madi whispers through the door and matt stays silent, forcing me to talk, instead i let out a loud moan, but disguise it with a cough “n-no..” i manage to squeeze out.

“we’ll be outside, good luck in there y/n.” nick says as him and madi walk out

“what the fuck was that..” i whisper to matt as he pulls out

“you know, it was funny watching you try to think while i was buried inside you.” he says cockily as he helps me button up my miniskirt.

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x you

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evilcowgirl · 7 months

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jealous ellie headcanons

ft. sapphic longing

i get my inspo from sintuationships bc im real

୨♡୧

ellie doesn't like not being around you at social events, or with you out of her sight. it stresses her out so much that she can't even properly enjoy herself without you close to her. can barely pay attention if someone's speaking to her because shes busy trying to watch you in the crowd.

convinces herself that everyone wants you. you often have to assure her that your friends and other people you interact with casually aren't secretly pinning over you or waiting on the opportunity to make a move. she never believes you, always stuck on the idea that you're too good to not have a billion more options.

ALWAYS thinks someone is flirting with you, and get pouty about it. when she's feeling bold enough she'll say something direct.

"i mean you didn't see the way she was looking at you from my perspective, you guys were basically at 3rd base."

ellie knows that you're only her friend, that you don't owe her loyalty, but anytime you bring up time you've spent with someone else she goes all quiet and short with you, not because she's mad at you, but because she gets an unexplainable feeling in her stomach like she's gonna drop dead when she thinks of you enjoying the company of anyone else but her.

cannot go an hour without bringing you up to other people (barely exaggerating.) her mind wanders to you so often she hardly even notices it. at the sight of a trinket you'd like, or a color she knows you love. whenever she hears someone say something that reminds her of you, she's quick to to point that out. you stay on her mind always.

can't handle being away from you too long, she gets antsy and starts asking around about your whereabouts. especially when she's missing you, all hell breaks loose. when she finds out that you were only getting lunch or something simple like that she feels embarrassed at how desperate she was to find you. (she'll definitely do it again tmr.)

likes to see you sitting in her room, around all her stuff doing whatever. painting your nails, reading, listening to music ect. just getting to see you in her personal space makes her happy. knowing that you're safe and with her.

will start an argument if she doesn't know where you've been. arguing with ellie is always slightly maddening because shes so nonchalant when she's being ridiculous that it makes you question yourself.

she's so sweet and nervous when she apologizes though, going over what shes going to say over and over in her room and still messing up.

"i'm just—fuck this is stupid—i shouldn't have said what i said to you. . . about the thing earlier?" she'll look away like a scolded puppy waiting on you to say something. "i'm sorry."

if you accept her apology, you can visibly see the fear leave her body. the worst thing that could happen to her is losing you and anytime she thinks that might happen her whole world gets turned upside down until she knows you're okay with her.

she doesn't see you as her property, just something really special that she wants to keep safe and close.

likes to keep a hand on you when you're walking with her. on your waist, a hand around your wrist or tugging at your clothes when she needs you to follow. she doesn't care if people notice, she'd prefer them to see actually.

writes the little things she notices about you down like she's studying you or something. the way you look at her when you're listening intently, how you act when you're sleepy. things she knows no one else would take note of. she jots down her thoughts about you when they're overwhelming because it helps, talking about it isn't an option she doesn't want to share you with anyone.

"she's so pretty when she's doing her hair, like a fucking angel on earth. she's driving me INSANE. i feel like i'm going to mess this up somehow."

gets jealous when you're babying dogs in front of her and will admit it !

"you never pay that much attention to me." when you totally do.

huge complainer, she's so bold about it too ! if you're spending any extra time with someone she'll get all dramatic about it and ask when you guys' wedding is and if she can be the maid of honor because shes petty.

can and will make things a competition if that means she'll get the chance to show off to you. some guy your age is impressive at target practice? she'll make an effort to double what he did just to say she can.

"i guess I've just had more experience." meanwhile she knew exactly what she was doing.

getting praise from you is like her main goal, anytime you let her know you're proud of her she feels like the most capable person on earth. on the other side of that is her absolutely debilitating jealousy when it comes to hearing you brag on other people. ellie doesn't pride herself on being nice but she gets pretty mean when she feels like you're giving attention she should be getting to others. you mention how well jesse did on his patrol and all of the sudden she's going on about how she's killed more infected as a kid than jesse could even imagine seeing.

oppositely, shes so sweet to you when you're feeling down, always making sure you know no one's allowed to mess with you (other than her) and if someone had she'd set things straight.

when you're feeling bad, or you're sick she likes to watch you sleep because you look peaceful and its ideal for her to see her girl safe nd happy.

strokes your hands and face while you're asleep, careful not to wake you. she's so infatuated and isn't quite sure how to handle it yet but for now she's able to roll with just being your person.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie tlou2 #ellie fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie tlou fanfic #ellie williams x f!reader #ellie williams x female reader #tlou fic #ellie the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #ellie x you #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader

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nomazee · 24 days

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enough to make me cry

blade is your only roommate, your only friend, and your only way home from this terrible party you found yourself in.

blade x gn reader — 3.3k — college & roommates au!, very americanized college experiences, frat parties, mentions of drinking & vomiting, could be read as platonic but there are definitely romantic undertones, feelings of inadequacy/being out of place, hurt/comfort, social anxiety, blade is probably ooc i'm gonna be so honest, mild kafka & reader friendship, erggg im probably missing something

notes: no i have to be so honest blade is probably completely out of character i have not played a single side quest with him in it but i just think he has reluctant roommate-to-best friend potential and i wanted to pour that into a fic,,, this is mostly unintelligible but i did proofread! love you all

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

A warm hand rests on your shoulder, and the first thing that you think is Blade’s hands are supposed to be cold.

It’s really pathetic. You’re somewhere in a stupid frat house, the thrumming of music around you. There’s the flashing colors and sounds of Mario Kart on the TV, the smell of puke (probably yours) and corona lite, and a hand on your shoulders that you’ve discerned is not your roommate, Blade’s.

Looking to the side, you follow the hand (painted, manicured nails, definitely still not Blade’s), and it leads up to an arm up to a shoulder up to a face, and—oh.

“You’re—” you pause, getting your words in order before you puke them up, “you’re Blade’s pretty lady friend?” It’s supposed to come out as a statement, but leans more to a question. She looks down, a bit of a teasing grin on her face, but her eyes are a little soft so you trust her.

“Is that what he calls me?” she jokes.

“No, I’m— I came up with that.” If you had any dignity left in you, you’d be embarrassed to admit that to her. Unfortunately, you’re pretty sure that Kafka (the pretty lady friend in question) just held your hair back and wiped your face as you puked into a frat-house toilet, flushing your dignity away with your dinner. Your eyes burn with tears and mortification, and you pray that only Kafka saw your embarrassing mishaps.

“I called him to pick you up,” she tells you, already looking away from you and scanning the room as if looking for something, or someone. “I would take you home myself, but I’ve got some things to take care of. And I’m assuming you didn't bring your keys with you?”

A quick pat-down of your pockets confirms that, yes, you somehow managed to leave your keys at home, the one personal necessity that you were supposed to bring besides your phone. Which, thankfully, you do at least have.

“Umm, the…” you mutter, tongue tangling uselessly as you try to find a way out of here without facing the impending doom of Blade’s aggravated scolding and his I told you so’s.

A week ago, you went to him with an invite to this frat party and begged him to come with you, saying something like You don’t go out much, this is your chance! He’d adamantly refused, calling it a bad idea and rolling his eyes whenever you brought it up. But you were stubborn, and you wanted to have a fun college experience, so you forced him to drive you to the party with the promise of paying for his next gas payment and getting your own ride back home at the end of the night.

“I can go,” you finally tell Kafka, mind stringing along memories and thoughts and alarm bells of get your ass home before you have to sit in an awful car ride with Blade, “It’s, like, a fifteen minute walk, don’t call him.”

“It’s a little too late for that, kid,” Kafka drawls, amusement in her words. She’s smiling down at you, and you’re reminded of how small you feel. “He’s already on the way.”

“No!” you protest, a little too loudly, but not loud enough to be heard over the thumping of music and bodies and voices. “It’s— Kafka, please, just tell him to turn around, I really don’t want him to deal with me today.”

If you knew her even less, you’d misinterpret the twitch in her expression as concern—but you’re not too dumb, so you read it as amusement. “Trust me, he’s not going to have a problem with that. You’ll be fine.”

Whatever that means. Kafka’s too cryptic for your liking, but you won’t complain. She wiped up your vomit from the dirty bathroom tiles and stayed with you to make sure you didn't get trampled, and she didn't complain about any of that. In a week, when you have enough strength to face her again, you’ll treat her to a good, expensive, flaky pastry. She seems like the kind of person who would love those.

Her phone buzzes with a text notification, and she clicks her tongue, standing up and pulling you with her. Her hand is still warm, seeping through the sleeve of your shirt as she takes you by the forearm, gentle but guiding. Your stomach churns at the thought of seeing Blade, the thought of him seeing you like this. Freshly-puked-out with a nasty stomachache all because of a party that he told you not to go to.

You hold back your protests as Kafka leads you through the still-crowded frat house. What time is it? Has nobody gotten bored yet, seriously? At least you didn't kill the mood by running to the bathroom and weeping into the toilet. It seems like nobody noticed, except for Kafka, and you don’t know if that should make you feel comforted or just more upset.

The cool air of the night hits you as you step through the front door, eyes tracking your feet as you walk down the concrete steps. You see the silhouette of Blade’s ugly blue car in your peripheral vision, but you don’t want to look up in fear of seeing the disappointment on his face so soon. He’s going to rip you a new one, and then call you a slob and kick you out of the apartment and say I can’t have a party fiend living with me even though this was your first party ever, honest.

You barely register that you’ve reached the passenger side of Blade’s car, only coming back to awareness when Kafka opens the door for you and starts nudging you into the seat. A really pathetic part of you wants to grab onto her arm and cry hard enough that she just relents and lets you walk home, but you’re already half into the passenger seat, looking everywhere but Blade.

“Take care of them, won’t you, Bladie?” Kafka commands lightly, her hand leaving your arm as you get situated and buckled up in the car. Blade lets out a little huff in response and your stomach sinks. He’s already annoyed.

The car ride to your apartment is only five minutes at this time of night. You just have to survive five minutes in silence and pray that he doesn’t tear into you and scold you like a disappointed parent. A glance at the clock on the car’s console confirms that it’s half past midnight. What the fuck. What were you even doing at the party for that long, besides vomiting and crying?

The car rumbles, exhaust sputtering a little bit as Blade pulls out from the side of the street and drives slowly, carefully, as if not to rattle you, and you really just want him to speed up and throttle the car around so you feel more guilty about waking him up in the middle of the night to come pick you up. Blade goes to bed at eleven, the latest. You can’t imagine why Kafka thought it would be a good idea to call him, of all people, but then you remember that you kind of don’t have any other friends on campus. Your chest tightens at the thought.

Blade makes some kind of sniffling noise, his way of trying to initiate some kind of conversation. There’s not even any music playing, because he always drives in dead silence because he’s abnormal, and on any other day you’d tease him about it like you always do. You see him turn his head to you in the corner of your eye, but you refuse to acknowledge him. You wish he’d just start scolding you, yelling at you or something.

Tears prickle behind your eyes, painfully so, but your hands tighten around each other in your lap as you will yourself to not cry like a baby in front of your roommate. He lets out another sigh, but it doesn’t sound angry, just tired, and somehow that makes you feel worse.

“What were you guys even drinking?” is his question of voice, and it’s the one question you didn't want him to ask, and you can’t help it when the tears spill over and you bring your hand up to wipe them away frantically, hiccuping a little bit as your gut churns.

“What—” Blade stutters, and he never stutters, and you see him whip his head around to look at you, crying into your hands over a simple question, and you just want to leave the car and walk home like you told Kafka you would do. He pulls over to the side of some residential street. There’s a dog barking in a yard and wind chimes clinking together, and you think of your handmade bottle cap wind chime hung in the balcony of yours and Blade’s apartment, and it just makes you cry more.

The car comes to a full stop. Blade puts it in park and turns completely to you. You spare a quick glance at him through the gaps between your fingers, and there’s something like worry on his face, which you’ve never seen before. His face is pinched, lips parted as if wanting to say something, but he can’t. He’s waiting for you.

“I didn't drink anything, Blade,” you sob, feeling miserable at the state of yourself, at how you went to a frat party with nobody you knew and just walked around like a lost child, too scared to drink or talk to anyone, too anxious to say a word. “Not even a shot, or a sip, nothing from the fridge. It was so stupid, you were right, okay? It was a stupid idea, and I shouldn’t have gone.” Your breath catches in your throat, and the car is dead quiet as Blade lets your words sink in.

You try not to make so much noise when you cry, but you’re sniveling and wiping your face and wishing that he would just stop looking at you like that. You can still see the ruby-red of his eyes even when you can’t bear to look up at him, and it makes you so viscerally upset.

Blade is beautiful, really, and it makes you so upset that he looks better than you right now despite him being dragged right out of bed by Kafka’s phone call with a request to pick you up just minutes ago. You, who spent hours selecting an outfit, just to feel inadequate and wholly ugly the minute you walked through the door. It felt like you were back in middle school, spending hours with your parents picking out an outfit to a school dance, looking through ties and pants and shoes, just to show up and feel both overdressed and underdressed, feel like a fool, feel like you just can’t look the way everyone else does. Like something is always a little wrong.

“Kafka said that you got sick. You didn't drink anything? You’re sure?”

“No,” you confirm pitifully, wanting him to just drop the topic and drive the rest of the way home and never talk about this again. “I was just anxious, and I puked like an idiot. Kafka helped me, she was the only one that I knew at the party. I don’t know. I don’t remember anymore. I was just anxious.”

He says your name, not unkindly, but with a prying tone that just makes a fresh wave of tears stream down your face in rivulets. “Why would you go if you didn't know anyone?”

“I don't know!” you shout, heated with embarrassment. You’re acting like a child, throwing a tantrum and crying and shouting in Blade’s car. The seatbelt is too tight on you. You fiddle with it, pulling it from the juncture of your neck and shoulder and loosening it, scratching your bitten nails against the scratchy cloth and looking out of the car window so that you can avoid Blade’s awful, terrible, intrusive gaze.

“I just wanted to be normal, or something. I don’t know anybody from any of my classes. I don’t talk to anyone from my major. And then I got the invite for the party somehow and I just thought it would be fun. I don’t know, Blade, I know I should’ve listened to you, I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” he says firmly, fully turned to you now, as if he wants you to look back at him, to listen to whatever he’s going to say, and that’s the one thing you don’t want to do. You hate that he’s being kind. You wish he’d be sarcastic and mean and cruel, bite into you and feed off your self-pity. But he’s being nice, nice in the same way that he’s nice when he buys the right brand of milk for you (because the others make you sick, and the taste is different), or when he drives you places in his car when it’s raining so that you don’t have to take the buses everywhere, or when he comes home with your ridiculous coffee order that costs a hellacious amount of money with all of your substitutions and additions and flavorings.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he says resolutely, leaving no room for argument, “Just— I didn't know you were feeling like that. I would’ve gone with you if you told me you needed someone. I assumed you were going with a friend.”

You don’t respond with I don’t have any friends, because you’re pretty sure that’s clear enough by now, and you don’t want to confirm what’s already been confirmed a million times over just from the way you act. The way you cling to yours and Blade’s apartment, the way you never spend a second longer than you need to in any of your classes, the way that sometimes, when Blade goes out for class or work, you sit on the couch in silence with your laptop out, doing your work for the week and checking the clock and taking naps so that you don’t have to feel so alone for so long.

“You didn't want to go,” you say instead, “I wasn’t going to make you just because I’m— I don’t know.”

“I would’ve gone for you,” he tells you, really tells you, with a force in his words, like he wants to drive the point into you with a stake, driven right through your heart. “I would do a lot of things if you asked. You just need to ask.”

You don’t— you really don’t want to think about what that means. What he means. You rip your eyes away from the car window and turn to face him. He’s not too close. You almost wish he could be closer, but you would suffocate under the pressure in your stomach and behind your eyes.

He shouldn’t say things like that, things like You just need to ask, because you’d ask for a lot if given the chance. You’d ask for him to come to parties with you, stay by your side, let you put a hand on his shoulder and guide him around another disgusting frat house as if you know what you’re doing. You’d ask him to sleep in the same bed as you some nights, just a foot away from each other, backs turned to each other but still close enough that you can feel the unnatural coldness that radiates off of Blade.

You’d ask him to introduce you to Kafka and that other girl they hang out with, to say something stupid and funny like This is my abhorrent roommate, be nice to them, and that way you’d have more contacts in your phone that aren't just Blade and your parents and two old high school friends who you haven’t spoken to in a year. You’d ask him to be a lot more than just a plus-one to a party full of people you’ve never met.

“I just want to go home,” you breathe out, a guilty confession burning your gums and leaving a sour taste in your mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry,” he asserts for the second time tonight, making your lungs squeeze as you puff out a tired exhale. Blade turns back in his seat, taking the car out of park and heading back onto the road—driving slowly, yet again, avoiding cracks and potholes in the road. “You need to eat something. You’ll wake up with a hellish headache if you go to bed dehydrated.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“I said it, so it’s true,” he says petulantly, turning the car down into a road that’s definitely not in the direction of your apartment building. To your hidden delight, the glowing sign of a twenty-four-seven ice cream store comes into view, and you sit up just a little bit. Blade slows the car as he turns into the drive-thru, glancing at you with an eyebrow half-raised.

“What do you want? I’ll order for you.”

“I don’t have my wallet,” you admit, just a little bit embarrassed. “I didn't even bring my keys with me. Do you think they take Apple Pay?”

A breathy laugh escapes him, and you catch sight of a dimple pressed into his cheek, and you want to press your thumb into it and look at his smile, just for a little longer. “Don’t be dumb. I’m paying,” he tells you, the same way he has every time he pays for your cafe drink, or when he comes home from work with your favorite, and says You’re broke enough without having to pay for these drinks, don’t pay me back in that snippy way he shows his care.

You ask for a medium vanilla milkshake, with sprinkles, and he gets you a large instead, which you’re more than grateful for. He refuses to let you look at the receipt for the total cost, and hands you the milkshake with a comical severity that you often see in him. The sweet drink washes away any bitter taste left in your mouth, and you feel a little better, a little nicer in your haphazard party outfit and under Blade’s fleeting gaze.

A deep sigh escapes you, one of relief, when the car finally parks at your apartment building. Blade puts a cold hand between your shoulder blades, unobtrusive and leading, and it’s a comforting contrast from the heat lingering on your skin from the party and the closed car. It feels right, more in-place than Kafka’s warm hands were when she wiped your face and kept you steady, though she was just as gentle.

Blade all but tosses you onto the couch, claiming that it’s much too late for a shower and he’d rather not deal with you collapsing from exhaustion in the tub. You relent easily, the exhaustion of the night hitting you and soaking into your limbs.

“I’ll let you sleep on the couch,” he says, and it’s a good and kind thing, because he knows that sometimes you hate your bedroom because it’s just too empty, and the constant sound filtering into the living room puts you at ease. He never lets you sleep on the couch, because it’s bad for your back, and he jokes about you developing adult onset scoliosis with the awful way you sleep. Letting you do it, just this once, is another one of his small mercies.

The TV is on, humming at a low volume, and your legs are thrown across Blade’s lap. You’re shocked that he’s willing to fall asleep with you like this, but he’s kind, sarcastic and biting but kind all the same, as much as he loathes to admit it. It’s not too lonely, you decide, hearing the bottle cap wind chimes on your balcony clink together in dissonant harmonies.

(There’s a missing text from a new contact on your phone when you wake up, coming from pretty lady friend, extending an invite to brunch in two days, and you kick your legs on the couch in giddy excitement, thinking about how you’ll rope Blade into coming with you, too.)

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

taglist: @tragedy-of-commons

(pssst!!! send me a msg or fill out the form in my navi to be added to the taglist!!!)

#blade x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #blade hsr x reader #hsr blade x reader #hsr ren x reader #thats his name right..........#blade x you #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #begging myself to write something under 1k next time #i miss when i had the ability to write short drabbles instead of behemoths #i say this as if i don't have a supernatural blade fic thats already 5k and not even halfway done #THATS the real behemoth #he's so out of character here forgive me #i just like his pretty face #me writing about a frat party when i have yet to even touch the vicinity of a party house

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2knightt · 1 year

Note

dallas but with a sweetheart soc! gf. i feel like he’d be the sort of person to be like “i’m never gonna go for a soc especially a nice one” only to be completely smitten with one the minute he meets her 😭😭😭

Dallas Winston x sweetheart!soc!reader

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.swearing, minor mentions of violence and blood.

honest to god, he didn’t believe you existed.

people would talk about this nice soc who’s ‘real nice to us grease.’

all dallas did when he heard this was kiss his teeth and shake his head.

“yeah right, when’s the last time you ever met a nice soc? never, cause they don’t exist. get your head outta the clouds you idiot.”

UNTILL he actually just so happened to run into you!

you were walking, alone. stupid—you already knew that.

you just wanted to walk around tusla in peace!

then dallas winston came and ruined it.

“woah. what’s a pretty girl like you doin ‘round these parts?”

dallas said from behind you, trying to lean into your view as you kept walking.

“huh? ‘these parts?’”

“yeah, little miss. these parts. where the hoods stay. you don’t look like no grease, anyhow.”

that’s when you finally understood what he meant.

you’re a soc that’s walking around the east side!

“oh! i’m sorry, should i-uh, walk back?”

dallas didn’t know what you meant—sorry? walk back?

“why’d you go and go that?”

“well—you clearly don’t want me here and i don’t wanna make you upset! im sorry if i did, i ain’t mean it!”

ohh…you’re that sweetheart soc everyone was talking about.

dally’s demeanour immediately changed. it went from sweet to nonchalant, cool, tuff guy.

“yeah, it’s best you go. might get hurt or something..”

so with that, you nodded your head and walked in the opposite direction.

while you were fleeing the scene, dallas couldn’t stop thinking about you.

he thought about how cute your hair was, how pretty you looked under the moonlight, how—wait. what is he saying?!

you’re a soc! he’d rather die than go after a soc!

he just grumbled to himself, cursing himself out.

the days following, every time a person mentioned you at all, he’d try to switch the conversation.

“that nice soc came ‘round recently. she-“

“uh-anyways, buck’s having a part tonight.”

dally didn’t go around saying he didn’t believe you were real or that he hated you anymore. instead he just went around looking for you!

and one fateful day, he ran into you again!

“hey, i remember you! i didn’t catch your name!”

“dallas winston. what’s your name, pretty?”

“y/n l/n. oh—and thank you!”

since then, you and dallas would talk more and more. even hanging out on some occasions!

you just thought it was all because he was a really nice friend, which made you sad because you liked dallas winston a lot!

maybe a little too much…you found yourself purposely going onto greaser territory just to see him.

and it’s not like he didn’t like you too! he totally did, and you could tell!

dallas ain’t very good at hiding his blush.

but he was in complete denial. he refuses to accept that he likes another girl after syliva, let alone the someone apart of the group of people he hates the most.

one lovely and wonderful day you and dally went on a drive! …in your car, obviously.

dallas had pulled into an empty parking lot and turned to face you.

“why are we here, dal? you oka-“

“i like you.”

“…what?”

dallas sighs and thoughts start running through his head about how he knew he shouldn’t have told you, how he knew it was stupid, how all soc’s are the same.

a soc girl dating a hood like him was unheard of, so he thought if you rejected him he’d get over you.

well, that’s what he thought before it actually came. he was embarrassed—he wanted to just run out, he should it’d save him the trouble—

when suddenly his worries were cut off by your angelic giggle.

“i like you too, dallas.”

then without thinking, the two of you lean over the centre console and have your very first kiss as a couple <3

you best believe he’s bragging about you to everyone and anyone.

“yeah but i don’t see you dating a soc, let alone y/n, steve. up your fucking game.”

“I’M GOING TO BODYSLAM YOU DALLAS.”

he steals stuff for you but REFUSES to tell you he stole them. he thinks you’ll have a heart attack if he does.

when he sees a cute shirt you’d like? snatched. your favourite snack? already in his jacket. a cute necklace with his initial? NOT SAFE! HE ALREADY TOOK IT!

he’s so whipped for you oh my LORD.

dallas is pushing other girls away that WILLINGLY flirted with him.

“yeah, huh uh. that’s nice ‘n all but, i got a girlfriend.”

he will walk into soc territory for you. he can and he will.

he doesn’t care who tries to jump him, he has pretty flowers to give you at your doorstep!

cuddling?? cuddling.

while at the drive-in you guys are definitely that one cute couple that everyone looks at when they walk by.

dallas’s arm around your shoulders as he brings you closer to him with your head resting on his shoulder.

looking up at him as he looks down at you and flashes his famous smile<3

i can see it now!

still can’t believe how nice you are sometimes??

like he just doesn’t get why you’re apologizing to a door??

“oh! i’m so sorry.”

“that’s a door, doll.”

PATCHING HIM UP AFTER FIGHTS??? OH MY GOD???

him sitting on your kitchen counter with bruises and cuts all over his body as you scramble to find any sort of bandages.

“oh dall, look at you!”

“i’ll be fine, love.”

“BUT I WON’T BE!! YOU’RE BLEEDING SO MUCH!!”

not gonna lie, when dallas told the gang he was dating you they thought he was lying.

“yeah right.”

“mhm, and i’m sober right now. ya know, since we’re lying.”

“dallas, stop lying to us.”

“guys what the fuck???”

dallas waited awhile before you met the gang. even though he trusted you fully, you were still a soc.

and you know how greasers and socs are together, right?

but when you do meet them?? they are HOLLERING.

“HOLY SHIT IT WAS TRUE!”

“STEVE HOLD ME I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN!”

“AND SHE’S ACTUALLY PRETTY??”

dallas felt a little offended at the last part.

your friends didn’t like that you were hanging around the toughest greaser in tusla, and they let you know that.

“i still can’t believe you gave that hood a chance, y/n.”

“me neither, you doin’ charity work now?”

“c’mon guys! he’s real sweet when he’s with me, you just don’t know the dallas i know!”

but overtime, they had no choice but to accept it.

they just couldn’t believe that an angel like you would go after the devil himself!

your friends knew that you were whipped for dallas n they couldn’t do anything about it.

you two were head over heels for each other.

tulsa’s it couple, as some would say!

author notes ;

1.SORRY FOR THE DELAY FOR THIS OMFG.

2.im legit inlove with this idea?? your mind?? holy shit???

3.I HOPE U LIKE THIS LMFAO

may 17th, 2023. 5:29PM

#2knightt #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #dallas x reader #dallas winston x reader #sweetheart!reader

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watchmegetobsessed · 1 year

Text

JUST HOW FAST THE NIGHT CHANGES (part 1)

A/N: i have no idea where im going with this, im literally just running into the darkness here, so be patient hehe, but here is high school reunion harry!

PAIRING: Harry x High-School-Best-Friend!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

You stare up at the banner once again, your eyes stopping at that one letter that’s crooked. You didn’t notice it up close when you were painting it and now it’s driving you crazy, even though Bee assured you she didn’t even notice it.

But she wouldn’t notice if you shaved your head either, so it doesn’t help the situation.

“It’s fine,” you whisper to yourself, reading the ‘Good Luck Harry!’ sign over again, the crooked letter H making fun of you before you turn your gaze away.

The whole gang is here, all of Harry’s closest friends from class. Bee is taking care of the snacks in the corner, Joshua is playing on his phone sitting on the rundown sofa, Beckham is next to him, shouting directions Josh is probably not taking and Chloe is blowing up the last balloons left while Lucas is helping her tying them, but his eyes keep wandering over to Bee just a few feet away.

It all looks and feels like a usual gathering in Chloe’s family’s basement, the place you’ve hung out at almost every day after school the past few years, but today is a special day. Harry is stepping on the road to fame tomorrow so this could easily be the last time the whole group is here together.

“Nothing will change, maybe I’ll be out after the first round, who knows?” Harry told you several times when he saw you get sad about a possible future where he is not here or at school with you every day.

You just smiled at him every time and ignored the ache in your chest.

While Bee is the closest to you out of your group of friends, Harry has a special place in your heart. You practically grew up together, you went to the same kindergarten though you weren’t quite friends, then you became classmates and by the end of second grade your little gang was formed and your crush on Harry started your interest in boys. With his bright, light green eyes and mop of curls he woke those butterflies right up in your belly with just one smile.

“He’s here!” Chloe’s mum calls out from upstairs and you get everyone in order, lined up under the banner as you wait for Harry to join the little party.

You hear his muffled voice, he asks Chloe’s mum how she is as always before the door at the top of the stairs opens and his footsteps rush down until he finally comes into view.

“Surprise!” you all shout, earning a shocked expression that quickly turns into a goofy grin as he walks down the last few steps, joining the group.

“What is this?” he asks, looking around the basement.

“This is our way of wishing you good luck for tomorrow,” Chloe smiles brightly, rolling on her heels.

“Your farewell party,” Joshua adds with a snort and you poke his ribs.

“It’s not a farewell party!” you tell him off.

“Don’t act like I’m gonna be dead from tomorrow,” Harry laughs.

“If you sing horribly, you will be dead to me,” Beckham deadpans as everyone laughs.

“Come on, you guys. Nothing will change, I promise.”

“You won’t forget about your best mates, will you?” Bee pouts her lips before wrapping her arms around Harry.

“Never,” he smirks, squeezing the girl tightly.

Even though it’s supposed to be a party, it feels like just another afternoon, hanging out after school. The boys are playing video games, this time Chloe is trying to learn to use the console as well while Bee is cheering on her. You’re sitting in the bean bag with Harry, just watching them, not feeling like participating this time.

“Hey, you alright?” Harry bumps his shoulder against yours. He probably notices how you’ve been zoned out on the screen for the past ten minutes without even processing anything that happened in the game.

“Yeah,” you nod, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. “Just… thinking.”

“About what?”

You shrug, but you know he will make you give him an answer either way.

“I’m a little scared.”

“Of what?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one being scared?” he chuckles, but you can only give him a weak smile. “I already told you, nothing will change.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Okay, I have no idea what the outcome of the audition will be, but I know I don’t want to lose my best friends,” he says, looking around with a smile.

“But you won’t have time for us when you’ll be an international rockstar.”

“I’ll always have time for you, Y/N,” he softly says and the way he said it has the butterflies dancing around in your stomach instantly. He didn’t say he’ll have time for the group, he talked about only you.

“Promise?” you ask, peeking at him.

“Promise,” he nods and wrapping an arm around your shoulders he pulls you against him and you happily move into him.

Nervously playing with your fingers you think of the object that’s tucked away in your pocket, this feels like the right moment to bring out. Hopefully Harry won’t think it’s childish. Digging into your pocket you pull the bracelet out and look up at Harry anxiously.

“I have something for you.”

His eyes snap down to meet yours as you adjust in the bean bag so you can hold the bracelet out.

“I made it for you, so you’ll never forget me, not even when you’ll be a superstar.”

The bracelet lies in your palm and he takes it, holding it closer to his face to have a better look at it. It’s a simple bracelet made from colorful beads, one of them has his name’s first letter, another one has yours and a smiley face between them. Originally, you wanted to put a heart there, but you thought that would be too mushy.

“You don’t have to wear it if you think it’s ridiculous or something…”

“I love it,” he says as he rolls it over his hand and onto his wrist, holding it up in front of the two of you. Your heart skips a beat and heat rushes to your cheeks, you can only hope he hasn’t noticed the effect this gesture had on you.

Harry turns to you, the corners of his lips curling upwards as his eyes keep moving between yours and you can feel a moment happening.

You can’t stop your gaze from peeking down at his lips for a second and you actually catch him doing the same. Your heart is hammering in your chest so wildly, he might even hear it. He angles his body so he is more turned towards you and the basement stops existing around you for a split second, convinced that he is about to kiss you.

And then Beckham starts shouting at the screen, jumping up from the couch, completely destroying the moment.

Curling your lips into your mouth you quickly turn away and glue your eyes to the TV, but process nothing of what’s happening in the game. You can only feel how Harry’s thigh is pressed against yours and you swear you can feel him stare at the side of your head, but you’re too scared to look.

Maybe you read the whole thing wrong. Maybe it was nothing and he had absolutely no intention of kissing you.

It couldn’t have been real, he is Harry and you’re Y/N, he is about to be famous and you’ll be stuck right where you are. There’s no way he would have made a move. Not now, not here and not on you.

The party stretches a little longer than it usually does and eventually what ends it is that Harry needs to wake up early in the morning, so everyone heads home.Beckham gets picked up by his sister. Joshua lives just down the street so he is off on foot and Lucas, Joshua and Bee take the bus. You see a hint of annoyance on Lucas’ face when Joshua says he is going with them, he must have hoped to be alone with Bee.

You and Harry are the last ones to leave, on your bikes as usual. Your house is always the first one and though it’s a little longer for him to stop there, he always tags along, makes sure you’re home safe before heading home.

This time is no different, but through the ride you can only think about how this might be the last time the two of you share this ride home from Chloe’s. And it feels horrible.

Harry has told you several times that he won’t stop being your friend, whatever happens tomorrow at the audition. That he’ll always be there for you. But deep down you know nothing will be the same and these are promises he might not be able to keep because of reasons out of his control. When his career takes off he won’t be able to just come home and hang out only because you miss him. He might be on the other side of the globe, in an entirely different time zone so phone calls wouldn’t work with your schedule either.

It breaks your heart to imagine a life where Harry is not in your friend group. Where he is not your best friend.

When you spot your house down the road you fight the urge to slow down and turn around. He would think you’re silly, but you just want this moment to last forever, because right now, you have him, but after tomorrow, he’ll slip out of your hands and you can’t do anything about it.

Harry waits as you roll your bike into the garage and meet him at your front door.

“Call me when you know the results tomorrow,” you say with a small smile and you try your best to make it look genuine.

You feel terrible, but part of you is hoping he won’t get in, because that means he’ll come back home and life will continue to be the same as before. You’re such a horrible friend…

“Of course, you’ll be the first one to know if I embarrass myself in front of the whole country,” he chuckles, trying to make a joke out of it as always. He’s been playing it cool, like this audition is no big deal, but you know him enough to notice the signs that give away just how nervous he is.

You’re looking for the right words, to say something, anything to him, but at last you have nothing so you just move forward and wrap him in a tight hug. He lets go of his bike, it falls to the side with a thud as he locks you in his arms with just as much enthusiasm.

“Good luck, Harry,” you mumble against his hoodie, squeezing him tight one last time before letting him go.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiles as he steps back to his bike.

You stand there and watch him roll out to the road, he glances back at you once more, lifting a hand up in the air in a wave before disappearing down the road.

Harry’s phone buzzes with a text just as he exits the gym, his yellow North Face jacket swallowing his muscular form as the cold London air hits his sweaty cheeks. He makes sure his beanie is covering as much of his head as possible, a pair of sunglasses added for more privacy, though he just knows some fans will recognize him on his way home.

He makes his way down the street as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, a smile stretching across his face when he sees a message from Beckham in the group chat.

BECKHAM: Alright, place is reserved from 7, don’t be fucking late because I won’t have the server’s disapproving looks. Can’t wait to see you all.

More messages start to flow in, everyone joking around about arriving hours late just to get on Beckham’s nerves. Harry’s eyes twinkle with extra shine when he sees some special names up on the screen, Chloe, Bee, Joshua and Lucas all chime in, Joshua even writes that Beckham should have just namedropped Harry and everything would be fine. God, he can’t wait to see his old mates again!

He can’t believe it’s been ten years since his class graduated. Technically, he wasn’t part of it since he finished school privately once his career took off, but they were kind enough to include him in the anniversary as well and he wouldn’t miss it for anything. He made sure it could fit in his schedule before he goes back to touring.

He types in a quick reply.

HARRY: Beck, use me all you want. I’m giving you the right. But I’ll be there on time.

The conversation keeps rolling and Harry watches the text pop up one after the other, but he really is just looking for one name.

A name he hasn’t seen since a text weeks ago.

While the whole class is happy to come together and the group chat is almost always buzzing, you haven’t been active at all, only let them know you’d be coming at the beginning, but it’s been radio silence since then.

Harry has been fighting the urge to text you for weeks now. He would be lying if he said seeing you again after all this time does not affect him in any way. He has mixed feelings about the last decade when it comes to you.

His life changed so much and so fast after the audition that he couldn’t keep up with his promise. Not all of them, at least. Before he could process what was happening around him, he was out of school and on the road with his new band, one album came after the other and he could never be part of his friends’ life the way he wanted to.

He tried to come home as often as he could, but they all knew it would never be the same again. He kept in touch with the group for a long time, with you too. But as you all started to grow up and go on your separate paths, fallout was inevitable.

But it hurt the most when it came to you, because you were always more special to him than the rest of the group.

The two of you stayed in touch for a while, you were still talking when you started college, but it consumed so much of your time and Harry’s career was skyrocketing, you simply couldn’t keep up with the pace anymore.

He kept an eye on you though, following you on Instagram, seeing the posts you uploaded, glimpses of your life, major events, things Harry would have loved to be there for you, but he couldn’t. After a while, he wasn’t even sure you’d want to talk to him, after all, he didn’t keep his promise and you drifted apart and he still hasn’t gotten himself over that.

He swallows the disappointment down as he locks his phone and slips it back into his pocket, quickening his pace.

Harry somehow stayed the closest to Beckham. It’s been over a year since the last time he saw him, but they kept in touch through texts, so they made plans to meet up before heading to the restaurant where the reunion will be happening.

Knowing he’ll definitely have a few drinks, Harry gets in a taxi and makes his way to Beckham’s place where he lives with his girlfriend.

At the beginning Nadine was way out of Beckham’s league. She’s a lawyer, the kind of woman you look at and know that she has her life together, always had. Beckham, on the other hand, was always a lost soul, well, right until he met Nadine. She brought the best out of him and pushed him to start an IT career. It’s been two years, now they live together and Beckham is no longer the lost boy he used to be.

He pays for the ride and hops up the stairs of the townhouse, ringing the doorbell. Moments later Nadine opens the front door.

“Harry, hi! So nice to see you again! She smiles from behind her stylish glasses. They have only met twice, but she always greets him as if they’ve known each other forever. “Come on in, Beckham is getting dressed. Do you want something to drink?”

“No, I’m alright, thank you,” he returns her smile upon walking into the foyer. A phone starts ringing somewhere in the kitchen and Nadine sighs.

“I have to take this, I’m sorry. Make yourself home though!”

Before he could say something she’s gone so he walks into the living room, his eyes instantly landing on the dozens of photo frames hanging on the wall. Bits and moments of the pair’s life as a couple and before they knew each other well. Harry sees a lot of unknown faces, but he spots the familiar ones too.

His gaze lands on one particular picture that has the group in it, taken in the basement at Beckham’s 14th birthday. Piled up on the couch, everyone is laughing and grinning, he recalls Lucas said something funny before the photo was snapped. He is on the left end of the couch, pressed up between the arm and you and you’re partially sitting on his lap since there wasn’t much room. He remembers this moment, how he could smell your shampoo, the urge to curl his arm around your waist to pull you more against him, but he was too scared to make a move. If he remembers right, he felt like you got nervous when Chloe pushed you and your back pressed against his chest fully. His heart was drumming in his chest, his nose brushed against your hair and he knew his cheeks were turning red when one of your hands ended up on his thigh. He thought of asking you out that evening when the two of you biked home, but chickened out at last.

He still wonders what you’d have said, if things would be different now if he ever manned up before his life changed entirely.

“Hey man! Sorry to make you wait.”

Beckham walks in, fixing the cuffs of his shirt before holding out a hand to Harry that he takes with a friendly shake.

“It’s alright.”

Beckham’s eyes wander to the picture he just saw his friend eyeing and a knowing smile stretches across his face.

“Nervous to see her again?”

“No,” Harry chuckles, but he can’t fool him. “I’m not even sure she’ll want to talk to me,” he adds quietly.

“It’s not like you guys had a big fight, don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’s glad to see you again.”

“She told you that?”

“Nope,” Beckham chuckles, patting Harry’s back. “Come on, let’s get going.”

Harry has been extremely excited to meet his ex-classmates. He was eager to see how much they all changed, where their life is going now, he knew it would be fun to see all the different paths they took even if he hasn’t seen these people in over a decade.

The sense of familiarity that takes over him upon arriving is so comforting. Suddenly, he feels fourteen again, messing around at school with his mates, planning to play football after classes or getting ice-cream.

They are situated in the back of the restaurant, around one long table. There are some people that are a bit late, everyone starts off with a drink, greeting old friends and the conversation starts to flow instantly.

Harry’s company is in high demand, of course, and he is happy to catch up with anyone and everyone that comes up to him. He makes sure to ask them too so it’s not just him talking. He wants to avoid being the center of attention, tonight shouldn’t be about just him, but everyone else equally.

As time passes by he finds his gaze wandering towards the entrance every time someone walks in, looking for one particular person. Ten minutes, fifteen, twenty, you’re late to dinner and he fears you might not even come at all.

“She’s just running late because of work,” Chloe comments when she catches him eyeing the door again.

“Huh?”

“If you thought you were playing it cool, you’re not,” she chuckles, sipping on her cocktail. “She’ll be here any minute.”

He hums, chewing on his bottom lip as he forces himself not to stare at the entrance.

As everyone starts to settle around the table Harry slips out to use the restroom quickly. Just as he is walking back, smoothing his hand over his shirt, his eyes move over to the door once again and this time he finally sees you walk in.

And he can feel his world turning upside down.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles oneshots #harry styles fluff #just how fast the night changes

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starsomens · 7 months

Note

Star hello! Im so sorry about the test love :( there will always be the next one!

how about one where Noah and Y/N have a big argument and hurtful words are tossed, etc. so reader leaves and as reader leaves the house she goes

"Oh and just so you know what I was annoying you about" and she tosses him a test "im pregnant!" and slams the door

now you go 👀

OOOOO I have not done ANY angst here! Here we go!

warnings: language, arguing,

"you can't keep doing this shit Y/N!" he begins to raise his voice

"Oh my god Noah grow the fuck up! It was goddamn mistake" you said as you slump into one of the kitchen chairs

"It's not a fucking mistake when you do the same shit over and over." he his hand comes down on to the counter "it's so fucking annoying and you wonder why I stay at the studio all fucking day"

"I don't know maybe with some other girls you meet or something" you fire back, not really meaning it but wanting to fire back just as hard

"right, right. Because you're annoying ass has to know what and who I'm with constantly" he turned his back and walked away from you " 'Cause if that's how you feel why the fuck are we even together?" he didn't mean that either, he just wanted to get back at your comment

"Fine." you push yourself out of the chair and head upstairs. Noah following you behind just a few steps away "Y/N what are you do?"

You didn't answer and just started stuffing a backpack you had with your essentials. You grab your charger and push past him and head down the stairs

"Don't just ignore me Y/N, come on" he said trying to reach for your arm. Maybe he was a bit too harsh with his words. He didn't mean any of what he said. You grab your keys and open the door

"I'm going to Y/B/N's, I don't know how long I'll be there but if you really think we shouldn't be together here's your chance to confirm that" you said opening the door.

"Y/N, baby wait I didn't-"

"Oh and if you're wondering what I was so annoying about today," you throw a plastic bag at him, it hits his chest and he catches it before it hits the ground. "I'm pregnant." you slam the door out of frustration. He stood there frozen for way too long just staring at the test in his hand before his legs finally move to go after you.

"Y/N! Wait! Come on let's talk about this!" but he was too late you started the car and backed up out of the drive way and drove down the road "Fuck! Why did I say that?!" he goes back inside and the house is quiet without you there. He takes out one of the tests and just looks at it. He falls on to the couch and really lets it set in

"...I'm gonna be a dad..." he slight chuckle escapes his lips "She's...we're gonna be parents." he pulls out his phone and calls Nick.

"yeah?"

"..Nick I fucked up." Noah confesses with a bite to his bottom lip "Could you meet me here when you can?"

"I'll be there in 10"

Make sure about his door no explains what was happening and the newfound news and Nick, being his best friend gave it to him straight

“ yeah, you fucked up”

“ yeah I’m already aware of that. How am I gonna fix that ? she’s pissed off at me.” Nick flicks his forehead and looks at him dead in the eye

” All I’m going to say is you got yourself into this mess. She’s pregnant and the last thing either of you need is for her to be stressed right now. Do you know where her friend lives?”

“ yeah, I’ve picked her up there a couple of times”

“ come on we got a few stops to make before we go and get her” Nick said, grabbing his car keys motioning to the door with his head. It was safe to say Noah had taken some time picking the right things and reciting the right things in his head.

Which was why your best friend had to answer an anxious door bell at around 1:20 am.

“Haven’t you done enough damage?” You friend asked crossing her arms at him, she may like him but whenever he fucks up with you, he also fucks up with her.

“Look i know. I was wrong I just…..I need to talk to her. Please” he really didn’t want to argue and wanted to see you and talk to you. She lets out a huff and calls for you to come over. You come into view with your arms crossed and no emotion on your face. There stood your boyfriend with a large bouquet of flowers, and a stuffed animal in his other hand. with a bag hanging from his hand full of treats he knows you love. You step aside, signaling for him to come. inside. You close the door and your. friend leads into her room to give you both privacy. Noah's sets down the bag on the coffee table and looks at you with his pleading eyes

"I'm...sorry baby." he starts " I didn't mean anything I said. You never annoy me, ever. You're the one person that's constantly checking on me, even when you tell me to take a break I'll still sit there for hours You are never knowing And you know I'm always open to you and you can ask me any question you'd like. There is no one else for me except for you and. now....them." He said as his eyes dart down to your stomach and back up to your eyes.

"Noah.... Maybe you're right. maybe I was being a little too pushy, and I should trust you more knowing that you wouldn't do something like that to me. I was just a little nervous to tell you the news And I didn't know how you'd react hearing it..." you sniff looking away from him

"Oh baby no...don't apologize" he said setting the rest of the stuff down and bringing you into his hold "This was all my fault. I shouldn't have snapped like that you don't deserve that...neither of you" he tested the waters and pulls back to look down at your none existent bump. His thumb grazing over your hips

"Look if you still need time to calm down or just need the space I can come back-" you shake your head and take his hands in yours

"...Lets go home" you gave his hands a squeeze. He grabs your bags and any extra items and didn't let you carry anything even if you offered. Once you were at the car he accommodated your items. He turns to you. He looked like he wanted to say something but opted for just a simple hug and kiss to your lips

"I'm sorry princess. Let's get you both home" he smiles softly and opens the door for you. He gets into the drivers seat and takes you home where you belonged. With him.

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @purple-lili @itsmrsfuentes @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @ima1986

#bad omens #noah sebastian #star’s anons✨#bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens cult #noahsebastian

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perfectlyperfectstranger · 2 months

Text

Corey Cunningham x Reader

Gif is NOT mine

Note: No gender is specified for the reader im almost 100% positive.

This is my first time writing and this does end on a cliffhanger im sorry😭 just so i can think the ending over make sure it goes how I want it to.

This follows Halloween ends storyline btw.

Warning: Slight cheating at the end but not really since Allyson and Corey aren’t confirmed to be together.

You and Allyson had always been close friends so when one day she calls you after a shift talking about some really cute guy with brown hair and glasses she worked on earlier in the day you had to joke. “He wasn’t like, dead was he?” You snicker while saying. “No he wasn’t dead, he was very much alive.” Allyson says and from here tone you can practically hear the eye roll. You chuckle “Thats great for you Allyson. Listen Ill call you later I gotta close up over here.” You both say your goodbyes.

As you are locking up each window you hear something. You raise a brow reaching for your phone and a heavy object near by which happens to be a wrench. Turning on the flash of your phone you start making your way towards the noise only to find a man standing outside the front door looking slightly frantic. You quickly walk over and open the door. “Is there something that I can do for you?” You ask the man who only stares for a moment trying to group together what he wants to say. “…You wouldn’t happen to have a cable jumper and a battery would you?” He says in a soft and quiet voice. You think for a moment debating your choices he notices your hesitance. “Please..? Even just a ride home would suffice. I could always just come back in the morning with what I need.” You sigh. “Alright let me just grab my things then we can get you home.” You step aside and let him in hurrying to gather your things placing down the wrench. He watches you move around grouping up your things. “So you’re a electrician huh? Im a mechanic ” He says attempting conversation his voice shaky and nervous. “Really? What shop d’you work at?” You say as you nod your head towards the door signaling ‘we can go now’. As you both open your car door he responds. “I uh work with my stepdad not many other places will hire me really.” You turn your head to look at him before starting the car. “I don’t see why not you look like you’re in perfect condition for some work.” He seems slightly surprised at your words but decides not to question how you live here and don’t know him. “Im Corey by the way..” You keep your eyes on the road. “Im Y/n, now then Corey. Wanna tell me where your place is?”

After arriving to his home you stop. “Thank you for the ride you really helped me out.” He says a little rushed you nod your head to him and smile softly. “Its no problem. You have a good night Corey.” After you say goodbye you drive off headed back to your own place.

A few days pass by and your working late once again a couple of minutes till close. The door opens and you don’t look up for a moment till the person stops at the desk in front of you. You look up from what you were doing. “Hey Y/n!” A slight smile spreads across your face as you roll your eyes. “Geez you’re coming to annoy me on the job now?” You say teasing as you look back to Allyson. She scoffs “Whatever you don’t know what you’d do without me.” You chuckle softly and ask her what it was she came by for. “Well…” She says reaching into her bag and pulling out a small poster promoting a halloween party at the near by bar. “I don’t know Allyson.. You know I don’t really care for these things.” But with how persistent she is you eventually find no point in further arguing. “Please.. Im gonna bring the cute guy from the hospital too.” You roll you eyes and smile. “Alright.. are we supposed to wear costumes?” She nods at your question. “You should dress sexy you never go out, jump at the opportunity.” She smirks.

The time for this small event at the bar approaches and you’re getting ready your hair and makeup done putting on your costume. You look at yourself in the mirror and shake your head with a smile thinking of how in the world Allyson convinced you into agreeing.

You get to the bar and call Allyson to see if shes already here. She picks up and says she coming out right now. You see her and step out of your car. She smiles “You look so good!” You look at her outfit “I thought you were dressing up too?” She shrugs with a smirk showing she never had the intention to actually wear a costume. You sigh and smile at your sneaky friend as she starts to drag you inside the bar. She takes you to the counter where a man is sitting with a scarecrow mask on. “Corey this is my friend Y/n.” You raise a brow curious if this was the same Corey that came by your work a few days ago. He has the same brown curly hair. Corey moves his mask to the side and shyly smiles, you softly smile. “Hey Corey.” Allyson raises a brow as to say ‘You know each other?’ You explain how the two of you met.

As the night goes on you feel yourself let loose. You all are having a good time when Corey heads back up to the bar leaving you and Allyson to dance. When you suddenly see him dart out the door Allyson sees too and starts heading for the door she asks you to come with her just in case he’s feeling sick. Once you get out he looks frantic like on the night you met but more scared and worried. You tune out there conversation deciding its not really any of your business that is till you hear a very upset Corey. “Im not your fucking project Allyson!” She tries to defend her words but he’s already turning and walking off seeming rigid. “Y/n.. Do me a favor and follow him. I wanna be alone and clear my head.” You look at her sad and nod giving her a hug before jogging to catch up with Corey. “Hey…” He takes in a breath trying to calm himself. “You doing okay.?” You ask softly. He nods, you see a car driving up in your peripheral as the car comes to a stop in front of you Corey seems to freeze. You narrow your eyes and watch as a group of teens step out of the car. They immediately start taking to harassing Corey talking down to him he’s holding his weight well for now so you don’t step in. That is until the boys start putting their hands on him after he said some stuff about the boys dad. You shove one away and try to smoothly knock him out not wanting to fight with a kid. But thats when you see that Corey has gone over the bridge thats when you stop fighting with them.

You immediately run to the slope connecting under and above the bridge you make it down and don’t see Corey. You feel yourself begin to panic when you hear something from the sewer tunnel. You reach for your phone turning on the flashlight before walking in. Then you see him leaned against some concrete out cold you immediately try waking him. “Corey.. Corey come one you gotta get up.” Shaking him trying to make him open his eyes you hear him groan. “Cor-“ Then suddenly everything goes black.

You start waking up groggily blinking your eyes. You look around at your surroundings looking to your right you see Corey still unconscious. The events of last night begin coming back and suddenly your in a rush to get up and get Corey up as well. “Corey!” You say getting up whisper shouting. “Corey lets go we gotta go!” You say shaking him awake with urgency in your voice. He starts to blink awake “Hey.. Come on lets go.” You say helping him up hurrying to get out of here. He walks behind you, You make it to the end turning to make sure Corey is still right there. Hes a little bit behind your about to call out to him when suddenly a hand reaches out and chokes him. You gasp and are sent into a panic looking around for something anything heavy to hit this random arm with. You see a wooden plank and grab it before immediately hitting this mysterious arm the plank breaks and you look over where the arm came from and lock eyes with the Michael Myers. You freeze and he drops Corey once you realize he let go of Corey you grab his arm and immediately rush out of there scared.

You both had been walking for some time not saying anything when a car pulls beside Corey the window rolls down the man speaks to him but Corey says nothing the man quickly drives off seeming startled.

The two of you head to your place. After getting there you ask Corey to go take a shower so the sewer smell goes away you walking to do the same after giving him a pair of sweatpants and a baggy shirt. You exit your bathroom dressed and he exits the guest bathroom in the clothes you gave him. “Corey come sit on the couch.” You say softly. He does as you ask and you go to grab things to clean his wounds and wrap them. You kneel in front of him cleaning the scraps on his face. “How did you land.” He looks at you for the first time since getting out of the shower. “What..” You make eye contact with him. “How did you land?” Asking him slower than before. “M’back.” You stand asking him to lay on his stomach lifting his shirt to look at his bruised back. You take a ice pack and slowly place it on his back to sooth the bruises. Corey whimpers slightly “Sorry.” You say softly.

After all those events you didn’t feel quite normal. You don’t know what it was but it feels like theres this hunger when you get angry the need, urge. You try not to think about it much not hearing from Corey or Allyson. That is till you get a phone call. “Hello.” You say without much emotion in your voice. The person on the other end doesn’t respond for a moment. “Its Allyson I need you to come by Corey had earlier and I want to talk to you.” You make your way over there Allyson ranting to you about the odd things she was seeing happening with Corey. “Did something happen that night after the party?” She asks you, You make eye contact with her. “No we just walked and eventually got to his place and split off.” You lied, you aren’t sure why but you did. You soon enough leave Allyson’s place heading to your car not before Laurie stops you. You look her in her eyes, she seems startled immediately moving out of your way and deciding whatever she was going to say is no longer important. Once your in your car you start pulling out making your way to Corey’s. You knock on his door, a older woman answers. “Is Corey here.” You say nearly monotone. She seems to be slightly agitated with your question her husband stepping to the door and pulling her away before telling you Corey was upstairs. You open his bedroom door, he’s standing in front of his mirror with his scarecrow mask on you look around and spot a mask on his dresser. Examining it before pulling it over your head, looking in the mirror before looking over at Corey and moving the mask to the side. Leaning in unknowingly…

#halloween ends #corey cunningham imagines #corey cunningham x reader #corey cunningham #halloween kills #slasher x you #slasher x reader #slasher fanfiction #slashers #corey cunningham x you #halloween ends x reader #halloween kills x reader #perfectlyperfectstranger

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shadowlilom · 2 months

Text

Purple and White, Black and Blue

Content: Izana Kurokawa x fem! Oc (it can be a reader too btw)

Warnings: Age gap, probably manipulation (in the future will have for sure), Use of alcohol, confusing friends (teenage girls, just that could be an warning fr), Deceiving parents and if i lost something, please forgive me! Separator is from: @v6que ♡

"Are you sure? My parents will be mad at me if we go to that party tonight!" Ilabel says, clearly worried, to her friends, but Nadia response "Nahhhh, don't be a loser! It's justa little party!! We'll meet boys, drink something, dance and that's all!!!" She says moving from her chair, the schools classrooms without no one were really good to 'secret meetings' (It wasn't actually secret, the janitor knew they were there, but he never cared) "Ila, its our chance to be known by the pretty boys! Ugh, you're so into your stupid studies that you can’t have some fun? Why you're always so boring?" This time, Ghako spoke, and Nadia just nod in agree.

Afraid by the possibility of being alone again, Ilabel says quickly "Alright!! Let's go the party and rock it all! Haha!" The other two girls cheers up, but Ilabel just sighed. Nadia smiles, and says looking to both of them "Sooo, bicthes, the plan is that you two will say to your parents that we'll have a slumber party at my house. Buutt, we know what will actually happen. You two can get dressed properly at my house, so your parents will not doubt about the 'slumber party', got it?" Ghako chuckled loudly "It's a good plan, when did you got so clever huh? To math you aren't like that, you whore"

>Time skipe bc yes :}<

Girls dressing up is a funny thing to see, always trying to make each other beautiful, but not prettier than themselves.

"Bestie, that dress is horrible, try this one, it will look amazing!" Nadia says, as she finish her make up, and Ghako holds Ilabel's arm "Wait wait wait, let me do your make up first, im thinking about blue, because of the dress ya' know?" Ilabel just nod with a smile. After a few minutes, all of the girls are ready to the party, "Gurl, we are amazing, i have sure that all boys in that stupid party will be looking at us" Ghako says smiling and fixing her hair, and Ilabel appears in the room, using a blue dress not too tight to the body, more fluffy, like a cake "Oooh, that looks good on you, are you ready?" Nadia says looking to Ilabel, who just nodded in agreement.

The uber arrived quickly, and the drive was normal, Ilabel noticed that they were going not too really far from the city, so she got more comfortable abour being in that party. Ilabel didn't knew much things about parties, she never cared about going to many parties, till she met Ghako and Nadia. Sometimes she thinks that Nadia and Ghako are in a world totally different from her, they always stayed with someone, both of them couldn't stay too much time alone. But Ilabel not even had one boyfriend, Jesus, she never even kissed anyone! But, even though they are from different words, they are her friends, and shes grateful for that, being alone is terrifying. "Ooooh!! We are here!!!! Let's goooo!!!!" Ilabel thoughts were interrupted by Nadia screams, and the three of them left the uber and went to the door of the club. They gave their names and they entered, the normal process, Ghako said. And Ilabel was shocked, it was crowded, many different drunk people in the same place. "Im gonna get some drinks for us, kay'?" Ghako said, but Nadia and Ilabel knew it was a lie, she just wanted to go to see the boys (and probably the bartender too) and flett with them. "Fine, fine, im going to the dace floor, see you guys later" Nadia said turning around, but before she could've even walk, Ilabel holds her arm "W-wait! Where im going to stay? I-i don't want to be alone in that place.." Nadia sighed, annoyed, but she saw some sofas in the corner of the club, and she said to Ilabel, faking a smile "Go wait for us in there, there are people there, don't worry. Now, bye, Ilabel" The last prhase was rudely said, and Ilabel just accepted and went to sit in the sofas, waiting for the time they would leave that place, in silence.

"What a pretty thing like you are doing here all alone, huh doll?" A voice could be heard, from another sofa, Ilabel didn't noticed that he was there. A man of white hair, kinda curled, a beautiful tan skin and..oh..what beautiful purple eyes that he has.. It was a shame that his hair covered a good part of his face, but you could noticed that he had earings, it was a hanafuda or something? "Doll? Can you hear me?" And, once again, you're bring to the reality by his hypnotic voice "Y-yeah..im sorry" He just smiles in return "I asked you something, didn't i?" Ilabel rubs the back of her head, embarrassed "Oh..yes im sorry. Im not alone, actually..i came with my friends" "I don't see those 'friends' of yours" Ilabel look to her hands, flustered "Y-yeah..um, they're having fun..im just not into it.." He looks directly to her face, she could feel his eyes burning her forehead "If you don't like it, why are you here?" "To please them..thats what friends do" She looks to his face too, and he just chuckled after a few minutes "If you say so. Anyway, where are my manners at? Im Izana, Kurokawa Izana, and you doll?" "Oh-! Im Ilabel, Kaiser Ilabel" Ilabel offers her hand to Izana, who doesn't return the handshake, so she quickly takes her hand away.

"How old are you, Ilabel?" She glups, if she tell him the truth, he will say to the managers? If she and her friends get expel, they would blame her forever.. "If i tell you the truth...you'll not expose me?" Izana just smiles, and said "Of course not, i want to talk to you, doll" Ilabel breath deeply, "I'm 16..." Izana laughed "Phew...you're just a baby!" "Thank you?..." Izana laughed once again, and said calming "Like, im 28, its literally 12 years apart" Ilabel looks away, embarrassed as always.

"Want something to drink, doll?" Izana asked, calling a waitress "No, thank you, im a minnor, i can't drink" Izana chuckled "Oooh, how polite, even being so young" Izana delivered his drink, tasted a little and placed the cup in the table infront of him

"But, you seem to be really interesting, mature..Do you know who i am?" Ilabel deny with her head "Hm..good, now, what about i give to you my number huh? Would you text me, doll?" He looks at her eyes, deeply "I-i suppose so.." Izana smiles widely "Good girl, give me a moment please, so i can write my number to you" So she waits, like nothing was happening in the background, like only existed them two, like he was the only man in the world, like- "I really liked to see you in blue, blue is your color, doll" Ilabel blushed with his suddent coment "Thank you...you also look really good in that black jacked" and then Izana gave to her the paper "Now, to please you a little, I'll pay an Uber for you, so you can go back to your house, how does that sound?" Ilabel was shocked "Really?..Thank you, but my friends-" Izana interrupted her once more "Don't worry, I'll take care of it, now, tell me, where do you live?" Ilabel thinks that she doesn't have another choice, and shes going to her friends house anyway, and Izana seemed trustworthy. Just seemed trustworthy.

"Once again, thank you so much, Sir Kurokawa!" Ilabel said, before entering in the uber. Her friends, Ghako and Nadia, were in the backseat, completely drunk "It's nothing at all, when you arrive at your friend's home, text me, okay?" Ilabel nodded "Thank you once again! Goodbye, Sir Kurokawa!" Ilabel said entering in the uber, "Good night doll, I'll always watch over you, always"

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆⋅˚⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆⋅୧🍓ᡣ𐭩ᥫ᭡° ᡣ𐭩

Final notes: Hiii guys!!! Its me again! Im posting another thing, and i really hope you guys like it! And once again, if there's any mistake, please forgive me, my first language isn't English. Anywayyy, have a great day and bye bye!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

#izana x reader #izana kurokawa #izana kurokawa x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader

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mellotronmkll · 25 days

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Okay like idk how to explain it but I'm just so frustrated because I feel like when it comes to like ummmm realizing im autistic/unmasking its so hard for me and it feels so black and white like because I was definitely told as a kid/teenager that I was annoying repeatedly obviously and just like was bullied for being autistic and like for me I reacted by basically completely suppressing everything so much that I ended up basically becoming extremely alienated from myself and my own interests and passions and feeling very hollow for years lol because I was trying desperately to appease the people around me and be Not annoying as much as I could and obviously I hit extreme burnout and so yeah now that you know I'm recovering from that and over the last few years have finally started to unmask and actually find joy in my interests again and am working on being able to share them with other people without embarrassment it's just so frustrating because sometimes I feel like I just go too far and am just like. Super super annoying and I'm just so terrified people aren't gonna want to be around me and idk how to explain it but it's just like the fine line between masking so much that I suppress my own personality and just going full no holds barred autist on everyone and then you know being rejected because of that well it shouldn't be a fine line right like I have learned social skills I should be able to practice those while also not hiding my personality from everyone and being embarrassed by my interests. But figuring out how to do that is so hard like and it just drives me crazy because I want to be a likeable person and I don't want to be told I'm annoying and weird and rejected by everyone but if I'm being true to myself like really that's just gonna happen 😭 and there must be a happy medium but idk how to find it. Like I feel like the answer is probably a mix of. Of course I need to observe those social mores and keep practicing the social skills that are important for me to be like a good friend etc but i also need to get more okay with being a little unlikeable like people are going to think im weird and obnoxious especially neurotypical people and I have to accept that if I want to be happy but I also don't want to because I want everyone to like me. BUT like I also have to navigate like not being unintentionally rude especially to the people close to me because sometimes I suck at that. But that also doesn't mean I have to please everyone All of the time. But my brain cannot handle that nuance it's like I'm either doing one or the other and it drives me insane does this make any sense

#Like I should be able to casually mention things I like without obnoxiously infodumpung but since I find that extremely difficult my default #Is deny that I have any interests and just be like :) I'm a blank slate #And that's what I did for years basically . But now I'm just back to being kind of insufferable

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minhosimthings · 4 months

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Hold me Without Hurting me

Chapter 14: Hibiscus and Holding on

A/N: In which an old friend fills your life with flowers again, along a bumpy sided road.

Pairings: Ceo!Jay × Ceo!fem!reader, includes rest of Enhypen and certain other groups

Warnings: angst-fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to enemies to fake dating to enemies to lovers, Mentions of food and alcohol, swearing, nothing much but it's a bumpy story.

Story prompt: If I had a flower for every time I fell in love with you, I would walk in my garden forever. (This story is based on the language of flowers.)

A/N: Oh my god what! Mona posting two chapters in one day? It's a Christmas miracle. But real guys this is the second last chapter before the big ending and ITS GONNA BE LIT. im gonna go slow with the last chapter, make it as poetic as possible, so that these two idiots finally get a happy (sappy) ending. Also tagging @yunabi436 I hope this keeps her fed for a few days until the last chapter!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Jungwon was never one for relationships and love and all that jazz. Although his mother constantly pestered him to get a wife and give her some grandkids, he never took interest in it. After all, he was young, younger than his boss, whom he had never seen with another man wraped around her arm.

But Park Jay was different.

Although Jungwon didn't know his boss that well, he knew that she was a no nonsense woman who liked to get her job done on time. So when he saw her excitedly narrating her tales of her Jay and her played in the mud and planted flowers, he knew that this was something special, along with Jay's own assistant Kayla of course.

"Promise you'll call?" Kayla said, giving a small peck to Jungwon's cheek. Jungwon smiled down at her frame, and caressed her cheek. "I'll try to get a transfer here, alright?"

"Why is Miss Yang leaving so soon anyway?" Kayla questioned, still holding onto her lover, "I thought Mr Park were the full lovey dovey couple." Jungwon chuckled at his girlfriend's words and shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know much about that." He stated, hearing you call for him, "I love you babe, I'll call you when I get back." With a tight squeeze of her hands and a kiss to her lips, Jungwon scampered away, suitcase in hand, and a sad frown on his face.

"Congratulations Mr Park." A dreary faced man, with an awful moustache have a key to Jay, "You have earned this." Jay's hands trembled as he took the key and opened a mighty metal safe. Everything felt cold, his mother's stare, the lawyer's smirk, the metal of the key and the ringing noise in his ears. The wilted hibiscus in the corner begging for water, reminded him of your cold stare, as he shook hands with all the Ceo's, thanking them for coming to the meetings. Your hands didn't have that touch anymore, that cotton touch reminding him of why he still pestered on with life. And now, you were gone.

"Leave us." Jay commanded to the lawyer, who scampered away like a rat, leaving Jay and his mother alone.

"Why?" Jay slammed his hand on the table, making the old woman clutch her pearls tighter, "Tell me why the fuck you had to drive her away."

"She was ruining you." The woman spoke, her tone high and commanding, "Jay, this is your entire future, you can't risk it all for a girl you fell in love with fifteen years ago."

"I loved her!" Jay shouted, his voice echoing throughout the room, "And you just had to make history repeat, didn't you? Driving me away from her again and again, so that this stupid buisness can thrive." The woman clutched her pearls tighter, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Son, look on the bright side." She sighed, "You can expand the buisness now with these papers!" She looked at all the documents strewn on the table, "You can build an empire, Jay."

Jay had never felt angrier before, as he looked at his mother, greedily eyeing the papers. He would have drunk a snake's venom right now, if it meant having your hand twist in his, if it meant having to see you again, daintily flowing in a mud caked sundress, if it meant telling you, about all the times he had experienced death, thinking about you.

"You know what, mum?" He scoffed, putting the key in his hand down, "You're fired, from now on, you are excused from your position as my Chief of Management. You may leave now."

The old woman let out a pained cry, her face forming something akin to shock. "Jay, sweetheart-" "Leave mother." Jay glared daggers at the woman, "No more excuses from you. My lawyer shall be contacting you in a few days about your position from now on. You're excused."

As the woman got up slowly from her seat, pearls on the verge of breaking from how tightly she was holding them. Her face was a disgusting painting of horror and pain.

"I'll tell you this Jay." She said, before leaving, "Don't come scampering back when that girl ruins your chances of capital."

"Oh I'll take that chance." Jay spat his words with sweet venom laced in between.

He had one last chance.

And he wasn't going to waste it.

"Ma'am?" Jungwon wrapped his head around your door, frowning at the sight which beheld him. Your head was held in your hands, as you stared at all the papers in front of you.

"Yes Jungwon?" You cleared your throat, quickly sitting up straight and wiping the tears from your eyes, "Are those the reports for today?"

Jungwon nodded and sat down on the chair opposite you, an action quite unusual, as he usually just deposited the files and ran away. "Ma'am you need to stop working so hard." Jungwon's lips formed into an adorable pout, "You haven't even eaten a morsel in so many days."

You tried your hardest to smile up at Jungwon, and ran a hand through your hair. "I'm alright Jungwon, just hand me those reports."

"No you're not." Jungwon stated simply, as if to take control of the conversation.

"Ma'am no matter how much you try to distract yourself from Mr Park, it's not going to work, and especially not if you keep drowing yourself in work like this." You were taken aback at his words. What happened to the shy, nervous assistant you had been hanging out with for so long?

"I know I'm not supposed to butt into your personal life, but it is really taking a toll on your health too." Jungwon sighed, "So please, for God's sake, would you go home and rest for once?"

Jungwon's ears had turned hibiscus red by the time he finished with his impromptu speech. The confident mask he had once worn seemed to have deteriorated now, that he was fiddling his fingers and nervously biting his lips.

"I forgot how convincing you can be." You chuckled, easing his nerves a bit, "If I go home and rest for a few days, can I trust you to manage the office, Jungwon?" Jungwon's face lit up and he nodded frantically.

"I will literally do anything for you to go home and rest." He giggled, as you quickly packed up your things with his help.

"Thank you Jungwon." You sighed, as he dropped you off at the entrance of the building, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

The warm touch of the water hit your skin like a blanket enveloping you on Christmas night. When all were asleep, and you just couldn't bring yourself to drowse off, until a boy wrapped you all comfy in his arms, and cradled you to sleep, humming a song into your ear.

You had forgotten how cold the evening was, as you wrapped yourself tightly in your bathrobe, glass of wine all prepared and your cat Perry, lazily dropped on your bed, hid whiskers untamed.

Seven pm, the clock read. Still enough time to make dinner, you thought and relax to watch a sad Disney movie. Maybe you'd watch Up or The Good Dinosaur, you didn't really have a choice.

Outside your window, the winds of Zephyrus, Notus, Boreas and Eurus ran through time like an expatriate, leaving your lips cold and dry, without the touch of someone else's on them. Someone very specific.

The sudden sound of your cat leaping off of the bed, broke you out of your deep thought.

"Why do you sit on my phone, if you know it scares you, you stupid cat?" You rolled your eyes at your cat, who by now, had rested himself on the bedside table, and picked up your phone, which showed Jungwon's caller id.

"Won hey. Is everything alright?" You said, picking up the phone. "Yes ma'am.... And also no ma'am." Jungwon's voice rang in your ear. "What do you mean?"

"Mr Park has just landed in Seoul."

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elvispresleyslut · 1 year

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DADDY’S BEST FRIEND, ELVIS PRESLEY

A hot summer day in Memphis was beautiful as ever but nothing could beat the beauty of Graceland for me. Ever since the age of 10 my father whom I happened to be close with was long time friends with the one and only Elvis Presley. All my life friends would beg for autographs, pictures, clothing samples as if I could just ask this man for a kind of thing like that.

Elvis was almost like a second dad to me I suppose.

Maybe not the best wording? Considering i've been drooling over him like every other girl across this world since middle school. Here I am 19 soon to be 20 doing nothing with my life, lusting after a king who probably sees me as a kid who he can spoil all because he has too much money and not enough people he cares to spend it on.

That doesn't even make sense..

My birthday now was coming up on the too soon 30th of June.

My mother never made my life any easier for me. She definitely didn't make it easier for me to accept the party when i was informed that Elvis took it upon himself to host this god awful thing at Graceland.

"Mama we can't just intrude in his home like this and invite all these people from around town as if we even know they're damn names.." I whined following my mother upstairs in our small home.

She sighed and stopped in her steps, "Stop trying to get me to cancel it all because you have a little crush on him. He doesn't mind and it's free, You should be out thanking EP right now instead of crying in my ear." she ends her words with a huff and continues into my little brothers room, dropping a pile of clean clothes for him to fold and put away later.

"I do not have any crush on him, mama." I raise my voice boldly. "How many times am I gonna have to tell you that? The guys like 70.." I add for good measure. It doesn't work.

"You look at him the way your father looks at pie..now will you please leave your ole mom alone."

She teasingly rolls her eyes and walks back downstairs to start on dinner.

"Go see him, Kim. Thank the man for the love of god. He's precious and you know it. He didn't have to do this for you but he seemed more than happy to make your 20th special." She pulls out her apron tying it loosely around her wide hips. "Wear something nice!"

I groan grabbing a hold of my car keys. I couldn't take her determined mindset anymore. I felt like i needed to surround myself in negativity. Why would he want me at his house like that? What would Prescilla think? Im far too old to be having birthday parties at a family friends house, let alone Elvis's.

I soon pull up to his gate driving in without even realizing I was still wearing my bathrobe. Fuck fuck fuck.

"I gotta go back" I whisper shoving my key back in and buckling back in. I begin to let my foot off the brake.

I hear a knock on my glass window and startle with a jump quickly slamming back down on the brake.

"Oh what the actual fuck!" I practically scream grabbing my hair and pulling slightly with overwhelming anxiety.

I contemplate driving off and never coming back home if i can help it but I settle with rolling down my window and laughing nervously for now. Fuck that.

"Woah sweetheart..what're ya doin here at.." Elvis trails off looking down at his watch "4:00 in the evenin'?"

"Ya family alright?" He questions softly. Why'd he have to be so damn sweet?

I slowly look up with the fakest smile I ever did use, "W-what?" I laugh obnoxiously. "No I came here for s-something else..cannot erm..r-r-remember what.." I say leaning forward on my steering wheel groaning in embarrassment.

Why'd he have to look so nice right now in a robe and nothing underneath from what you could tell of his slightly tan chest covered in light hair. Why was I such a whore staring so hard..

"You gonna come in honey or we gonna sit outside n' watch the sunset?" He teases opening your car door.

"N-no uh..I-I can just stay here, right here" I point down into my seat with my fingers. "Just here is fine." I nearly beg out loud.

i rather harshly shut my door back.

He laughs. He laughs at me. Dear god mama why'd she do this shit to me.

"Suit yourself, kid." He drawls out with his thick accent that matter of factly made me squeal at night before bed.

He walks around my car swiftly opening the passenger seat door sitting his fine ass right beside me. I can almost taste the smell of him as he drops into the seat.

"You gonna tell me now what you dropped by for? Or you gonna keep this oddly unlike you demeanor up?" He says with a tinge of tease.

I roll my eyes with a sigh, putting my car into park.

"Im under dressed..it's beyond embarrassing." I push out a fake laugh to ease how nervy I am really.

"Your actin like im lookin'..get to it Kim." he states bluntly.

"Fineeee..goddamn." I stare at my hands in my suddenly cold lap. "I came to say thankyou for wanting to host my "party" but I really can't accept-"

He cuts me off quickly with an unbeatable tone telling me already he wouldn't be taking no for an answer. "Nope. I already have everything done, no need to come beggin me to stop it. Everybody needs a party."

"Please just nothing big..Elvis. Like really.." I glance too quickly down at his wide spread pose and im caught red handed im sure of it. I didn't even have time to truly take in what I felt I could see through his seemingly thin robe.

"Play nice about it and I'll talk to your dad about alcohol" Elvis lets out an almost boyish giggle and I can't help the burning blush that takes over my ugly face.

We chat more for the next 10 minutes about what I'd prefer at my party but he caught on rather quickly I was only trying to turn it into some boring cookout that nobody would stay for.

Before to long I catch his watch set nicely on the arm rest of the seat he was currently in and see I've kept him in my presence too long in a fit of laughs. Not that I was complaining. His perfect teeth.

"Go back inside old man.. Too late for you to be awake." I say jokingly gently shoving him against his door.

He fakes pain and opens the door stepping out and I can't help but bite my lip at the sight of his toned tanned legs but somehow feel a tinge of sadness that I couldn't just yank him back and bone him to no end.

Walking up his porch he turns back to me and waves, "Goodnight honey, I'll stop by tomorrow to see your daddy!" He says with what I hope a joking attitude.

My dad can't know I was ever here on my own dressed like a slut, of course not on purpose. Sigh.

I drive off and head home to eat dinner with my family but all I can do for the rest of my night is think about how truly fucked I'll be at this party.

HI! THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER TO THIS HOPEFULLY GOOD STORY LOLS . IM NEW TO THE ELVIS FANDOM AND IM HOPING TO MAKE SOME MOOTS HERE SIGH . IM A LONELY PERSON AND I LIKE TO THINK IM NICE LMFAO! GIVE ME IDEAS FOR MY "BOOK". IM OPEN MINDED AND HAVE NO PLANS YET FOR THIS <3 ENJOY

#fanfic #70s elvis #elvis film #austin butler #elvis presley #elvis presely smut #elvis the pelvis #king of rock n roll #graceland #fanfiction #country music #memphis #tennessee #baz luhrmann elvis #elvis photos #60s elvis #lana del ray aesthetic #lana is our queen #austin!elvis x reader

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haveihitanerve · 2 months

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Shadow and Bone series things that i fucking ADORE but its literally only the crows-

Kaz handing jesper the money ONLY FOR COAL and being very aware that jesper is going to lose it all but trusting him with it nonetheless

Kazzle dazzle walking around holding a goat

Jesper and inej insulting kaz, insinuating that he cant drive the weird little buggy thing and the thing he focuses on is the fact that inej called him ‘jes?’

‘Its suli.for friendship.’ inej is not having it.’no its not!’

Kaz’s little talk with inej. Beautiful

The fact that kaz thinks of inej and jesper as his saints because no one else has looked after him, but they do

Jesper not giving two shits that ka could kill him and constantly insulting him. ‘See it enough in the mirror do you?’

Jesper and inej talking back to kaz without a care in the world and he doesn't do anything

Kaz letting mal and inej go up to deck without following, but cant wait two seconds after jesper leaves to follow. Bromance

Jesper being able to touch kaz’s arm/shoulder/him without his arm being removed(both from kaz and from his body)

Kaz’s look at jesper when he recommends starting a brewery

Inej and jesper chatting about inej leaving. ‘You're making this really hard’ ‘i know. Id miss me too.’

‘Heres what i don't get’ ‘we’re gonna be here all night’ ‘rude.’ kaz just letting his crows bicker

Kaz and inej drinking from the same glass at different times while jesper just watches like ‘my alcohol!’

Kaz shushing everyone

Kaz giving his bestie life advice. ‘Never make decisions out of fear jesper. Only spite.’ jesper then making him laugh, you know he wanted to and totally cracked up when jes left- ‘greed always worked for me.’

Jesper showing his guns when someone threatens kaz

Jesper and his guns

Jesper spinning his guns

Jesper

‘Its not natural for someone to be stupid as he is tall and yet, oop!, there you stand’

Kaz’s personas that severely fucked with my head

‘He threw a book at me!’ that book being shadow and bone and also kazs looks

‘Tell me you have a plan. I don't care if its a lie.’

Jesper listing the things they learned and winking at inej when he says ‘its the friends we make along the way’ and the way kaz almost smiles

Also how close he and jesper are almost always standing/sitting

When theyre laying on the ground together, legs behind them. It just looks so wonky and also like a teenager thing to do and it makes me giggle

‘Too soon to appreciate the irony amiright?’ okay i just know that the reason kaz drops his head is because hes trying not to explode with laughter.

Matthias and nina’s waffle conversation

‘Are you gonna help?” kaz just lifts cane. Jesper, without giving two fucks that this man is called the fucking bastard of the barrel, with snark and backtalk- ‘oh.well isn't that convenient for you’ i just love how he and inej are allowed to get away with talking to kaz like that okay? Its the little things

‘Hug the goat.shut the hell up’

Jesper wanting kaz to promise him an open casket, kaz merely saying that they are NOT dying

‘Still didn't shoot his pretty face. I've got to stop doing that.’ jesper, ma boi, please leave the snarky comments for a time when you are not about to die

‘No one will believe im that old!’ kaz’s look. I just know he had on a shit eating grin on the inside, payback for all the snarky comments jesper has made- ‘you tell yourself that’ inejs little grin

Kaz and jesper chatting while inej casually leaves and then holds mal at gunpoint

The way jes whips out his guns when inej appears with mal and both guys jump in surprise while shes just like, ‘oh you guys didn't notice he was here?’

Kaz casually recruiting mal without asking mal himself

‘Have you found religion too?” but doesn't contradict him

Kazs smile when he forces jesper to cover him when sneaking into the dime lion of whatever

‘Jesper!’ when jesper asks for a blow up dude. His voice sounds like a tired dad

The way jesper jumps when inej appears behind him

Inej killing someone for kaz without hesitation

The way kaz waits with her, to tell her she saved his life, wasting precious seconds of escape, because while he might not understand her unwillingness to kill, he knows its hard for her and has enough compassion to offer her a few seconds of assurance

Inejs face when kaz accidentally reveals how much he sacrificed to get her free of Heleen

How jesper says ‘kaz might just kill heleen himself if you tell him that story’ about why inej knows how to sew herself up

Jesper and kaz getting excited about a heist

The smile kaz gives jesper when he informs him about the heist

‘Just ask’ kaz finally asks and jesper doesn't answer

‘Is it my size?’ ‘you have to ask?” ahhhh😭 ‘remember the last time this happened? You got me a mens.’ ‘it worked didn't it?’ 😭 like an old married couple

Inej telling kaz to be careful before they split up and he gets chased by the inferni

“And uh” looks jesper up and down. ‘Yeah hes gonna need it.’ “a goat.” jespers face

‘Boss’

Jespers goodbye to milo

#six of crows #ive only just finished season 1 #so this is not everything #also its very out of order of the events actually happening #thats my bad but i wrote it how i remembered it #kaz and jespers bromance is my everything #platonic soulmates

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iris-is-silly · 5 months

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To be honest I’ll never actually post anything besides this on here and it will probably be a depressing post.

I hate my life. I’m losing a good reason to wake up every time I get up. It’s to the point where waking up and staying awake is a chore and would just love to bedrot. I’ve written suicide notes on suicide notes and I’ve written one for everyone. I’ve even written a poem and some stories.

I love my friends and my cats but thats all anymore. Even then I still struggle with my friends. I hate talking or trying to start a conversation now and most of my messages feel like they are hitting brick walls.

I hate my body. God is my body disgusting. I feel like throwing up looking in the mirror. I can’t go anywhere without covering up my body. If I’m seen without a hoodie I scurry like a rat till I feel safe.

I hate the stress. I’ve been degraded my whole life. Whether it be in elementary for doing nothing and being the odd one out for being neuro-divergent, To being bullied and degraded by my own mom and dad. Im able to drive and the elementary high school bullying went to being attacked, SA’d, talked about everywhere and being hate crimed. All of these things because what.? Im different from you all.? That justifies your need to attack me and shit talk every one of my uncontrollable insecurities day by day.? Well guess what assholes you are winning.

I hate living. I’ve never had a break. No matter how hard I work. No matter how hard I try. No matter what every single break ends up being dragged into a worse and worse event. “Let’s go to the amusement park” Friend attempts suicide. “Let’s go to vegas get a break take out some anger.” Dog dies. “Im gonna go camping and unplug for a while.” Come back and boom I’m removed from their life and I’m the bad guy for wanting a break from life.

I struggle to stay happy. I miss being a kid. Clueless to the horrors of what was to come. Unable to understand why the kids would laugh or point at me. Blind to the hate. I miss the days where I could look around and take a deep breath and enjoy it.

I’ve lost hope. No coping methods work anymore. I sit on my blood stained mattress wondering why I just add to the stains without finishing the job. I try to find the good in the world or the stuff to make me happy but all I find is a fistful of cats and friends. Nothing makes my happy anymore.

My own family lets it happen. I love being in able to work because of how hard it is to focus. Everyone says “Take your meds” “If you just took your pills” “You wouldn’t fail if you were medicated.” Well guess what? I have been taking them. You pay no notice because you all spend that time berating me. Shoving more pills down my throat for what? A reason to blame me for your anger?

So I’ll leave this earth. No one who is part of my blood ever acts like they care anymore. I wake up to hear “Your rude asshole” For making breakfast and apologizing. I get beat for cooking my dad and brother a steak I saved up for so they can be happy. I get publicly shamed because I was sick and refused to eat. I am the bad guy in every situation and when Im not, Im attacked, Degraded, Left to rot.

If you want me to take them, I’ll take them all. I wish crying myself to sleep at night at-least was a good enough cry for help. Its not. They slow painful feel as my body aches dragging my almost dead limp appendages across the floor to rest just to be called to do more work. They hear me cry. They see how much pain I’m in. They know my condition.

Maybe this is a cry for help. On a day where maybe I’m not always thinking about killing myself something changes that. I wish just once that I may be free from this cycle of constant negativity, But it will always go un-answered.

When I’m gone and days quieter look for me in the fields. I will be sitting besides you although you may not know I’ll be there holding your hand.

Im sorry for wasting your time. You may hate me and this stupid rant. But its no different you just join the common mass. I left a-lot of details out to protect and so my classmates or friends don’t report me to the school. If you know me and you see this. Keep quiet.

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