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nomazee · 26 days

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enough to make me cry

blade is your only roommate, your only friend, and your only way home from this terrible party you found yourself in.

blade x gn reader — 3.3k — college & roommates au!, very americanized college experiences, frat parties, mentions of drinking & vomiting, could be read as platonic but there are definitely romantic undertones, feelings of inadequacy/being out of place, hurt/comfort, social anxiety, blade is probably ooc i'm gonna be so honest, mild kafka & reader friendship, erggg im probably missing something

notes: no i have to be so honest blade is probably completely out of character i have not played a single side quest with him in it but i just think he has reluctant roommate-to-best friend potential and i wanted to pour that into a fic,,, this is mostly unintelligible but i did proofread! love you all

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A warm hand rests on your shoulder, and the first thing that you think is Blade’s hands are supposed to be cold.

It’s really pathetic. You’re somewhere in a stupid frat house, the thrumming of music around you. There’s the flashing colors and sounds of Mario Kart on the TV, the smell of puke (probably yours) and corona lite, and a hand on your shoulders that you’ve discerned is not your roommate, Blade’s.

Looking to the side, you follow the hand (painted, manicured nails, definitely still not Blade’s), and it leads up to an arm up to a shoulder up to a face, and—oh.

“You’re—” you pause, getting your words in order before you puke them up, “you’re Blade’s pretty lady friend?” It’s supposed to come out as a statement, but leans more to a question. She looks down, a bit of a teasing grin on her face, but her eyes are a little soft so you trust her.

“Is that what he calls me?” she jokes.

“No, I’m— I came up with that.” If you had any dignity left in you, you’d be embarrassed to admit that to her. Unfortunately, you’re pretty sure that Kafka (the pretty lady friend in question) just held your hair back and wiped your face as you puked into a frat-house toilet, flushing your dignity away with your dinner. Your eyes burn with tears and mortification, and you pray that only Kafka saw your embarrassing mishaps.

“I called him to pick you up,” she tells you, already looking away from you and scanning the room as if looking for something, or someone. “I would take you home myself, but I’ve got some things to take care of. And I’m assuming you didn't bring your keys with you?”

A quick pat-down of your pockets confirms that, yes, you somehow managed to leave your keys at home, the one personal necessity that you were supposed to bring besides your phone. Which, thankfully, you do at least have.

“Umm, the…” you mutter, tongue tangling uselessly as you try to find a way out of here without facing the impending doom of Blade’s aggravated scolding and his I told you so’s.

A week ago, you went to him with an invite to this frat party and begged him to come with you, saying something like You don’t go out much, this is your chance! He’d adamantly refused, calling it a bad idea and rolling his eyes whenever you brought it up. But you were stubborn, and you wanted to have a fun college experience, so you forced him to drive you to the party with the promise of paying for his next gas payment and getting your own ride back home at the end of the night.

“I can go,” you finally tell Kafka, mind stringing along memories and thoughts and alarm bells of get your ass home before you have to sit in an awful car ride with Blade, “It’s, like, a fifteen minute walk, don’t call him.”

“It’s a little too late for that, kid,” Kafka drawls, amusement in her words. She’s smiling down at you, and you’re reminded of how small you feel. “He’s already on the way.”

“No!” you protest, a little too loudly, but not loud enough to be heard over the thumping of music and bodies and voices. “It’s— Kafka, please, just tell him to turn around, I really don’t want him to deal with me today.”

If you knew her even less, you’d misinterpret the twitch in her expression as concern—but you’re not too dumb, so you read it as amusement. “Trust me, he’s not going to have a problem with that. You’ll be fine.”

Whatever that means. Kafka’s too cryptic for your liking, but you won’t complain. She wiped up your vomit from the dirty bathroom tiles and stayed with you to make sure you didn't get trampled, and she didn't complain about any of that. In a week, when you have enough strength to face her again, you’ll treat her to a good, expensive, flaky pastry. She seems like the kind of person who would love those.

Her phone buzzes with a text notification, and she clicks her tongue, standing up and pulling you with her. Her hand is still warm, seeping through the sleeve of your shirt as she takes you by the forearm, gentle but guiding. Your stomach churns at the thought of seeing Blade, the thought of him seeing you like this. Freshly-puked-out with a nasty stomachache all because of a party that he told you not to go to.

You hold back your protests as Kafka leads you through the still-crowded frat house. What time is it? Has nobody gotten bored yet, seriously? At least you didn't kill the mood by running to the bathroom and weeping into the toilet. It seems like nobody noticed, except for Kafka, and you don’t know if that should make you feel comforted or just more upset.

The cool air of the night hits you as you step through the front door, eyes tracking your feet as you walk down the concrete steps. You see the silhouette of Blade’s ugly blue car in your peripheral vision, but you don’t want to look up in fear of seeing the disappointment on his face so soon. He’s going to rip you a new one, and then call you a slob and kick you out of the apartment and say I can’t have a party fiend living with me even though this was your first party ever, honest.

You barely register that you’ve reached the passenger side of Blade’s car, only coming back to awareness when Kafka opens the door for you and starts nudging you into the seat. A really pathetic part of you wants to grab onto her arm and cry hard enough that she just relents and lets you walk home, but you’re already half into the passenger seat, looking everywhere but Blade.

“Take care of them, won’t you, Bladie?” Kafka commands lightly, her hand leaving your arm as you get situated and buckled up in the car. Blade lets out a little huff in response and your stomach sinks. He’s already annoyed.

The car ride to your apartment is only five minutes at this time of night. You just have to survive five minutes in silence and pray that he doesn’t tear into you and scold you like a disappointed parent. A glance at the clock on the car’s console confirms that it’s half past midnight. What the fuck. What were you even doing at the party for that long, besides vomiting and crying?

The car rumbles, exhaust sputtering a little bit as Blade pulls out from the side of the street and drives slowly, carefully, as if not to rattle you, and you really just want him to speed up and throttle the car around so you feel more guilty about waking him up in the middle of the night to come pick you up. Blade goes to bed at eleven, the latest. You can’t imagine why Kafka thought it would be a good idea to call him, of all people, but then you remember that you kind of don’t have any other friends on campus. Your chest tightens at the thought.

Blade makes some kind of sniffling noise, his way of trying to initiate some kind of conversation. There’s not even any music playing, because he always drives in dead silence because he’s abnormal, and on any other day you’d tease him about it like you always do. You see him turn his head to you in the corner of your eye, but you refuse to acknowledge him. You wish he’d just start scolding you, yelling at you or something.

Tears prickle behind your eyes, painfully so, but your hands tighten around each other in your lap as you will yourself to not cry like a baby in front of your roommate. He lets out another sigh, but it doesn’t sound angry, just tired, and somehow that makes you feel worse.

“What were you guys even drinking?” is his question of voice, and it’s the one question you didn't want him to ask, and you can’t help it when the tears spill over and you bring your hand up to wipe them away frantically, hiccuping a little bit as your gut churns.

“What—” Blade stutters, and he never stutters, and you see him whip his head around to look at you, crying into your hands over a simple question, and you just want to leave the car and walk home like you told Kafka you would do. He pulls over to the side of some residential street. There’s a dog barking in a yard and wind chimes clinking together, and you think of your handmade bottle cap wind chime hung in the balcony of yours and Blade’s apartment, and it just makes you cry more.

The car comes to a full stop. Blade puts it in park and turns completely to you. You spare a quick glance at him through the gaps between your fingers, and there’s something like worry on his face, which you’ve never seen before. His face is pinched, lips parted as if wanting to say something, but he can’t. He’s waiting for you.

“I didn't drink anything, Blade,” you sob, feeling miserable at the state of yourself, at how you went to a frat party with nobody you knew and just walked around like a lost child, too scared to drink or talk to anyone, too anxious to say a word. “Not even a shot, or a sip, nothing from the fridge. It was so stupid, you were right, okay? It was a stupid idea, and I shouldn’t have gone.” Your breath catches in your throat, and the car is dead quiet as Blade lets your words sink in.

You try not to make so much noise when you cry, but you’re sniveling and wiping your face and wishing that he would just stop looking at you like that. You can still see the ruby-red of his eyes even when you can’t bear to look up at him, and it makes you so viscerally upset.

Blade is beautiful, really, and it makes you so upset that he looks better than you right now despite him being dragged right out of bed by Kafka’s phone call with a request to pick you up just minutes ago. You, who spent hours selecting an outfit, just to feel inadequate and wholly ugly the minute you walked through the door. It felt like you were back in middle school, spending hours with your parents picking out an outfit to a school dance, looking through ties and pants and shoes, just to show up and feel both overdressed and underdressed, feel like a fool, feel like you just can’t look the way everyone else does. Like something is always a little wrong.

“Kafka said that you got sick. You didn't drink anything? You’re sure?”

��No,” you confirm pitifully, wanting him to just drop the topic and drive the rest of the way home and never talk about this again. “I was just anxious, and I puked like an idiot. Kafka helped me, she was the only one that I knew at the party. I don’t know. I don’t remember anymore. I was just anxious.”

He says your name, not unkindly, but with a prying tone that just makes a fresh wave of tears stream down your face in rivulets. “Why would you go if you didn't know anyone?”

“I don't know!” you shout, heated with embarrassment. You’re acting like a child, throwing a tantrum and crying and shouting in Blade’s car. The seatbelt is too tight on you. You fiddle with it, pulling it from the juncture of your neck and shoulder and loosening it, scratching your bitten nails against the scratchy cloth and looking out of the car window so that you can avoid Blade’s awful, terrible, intrusive gaze.

“I just wanted to be normal, or something. I don’t know anybody from any of my classes. I don’t talk to anyone from my major. And then I got the invite for the party somehow and I just thought it would be fun. I don’t know, Blade, I know I should’ve listened to you, I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” he says firmly, fully turned to you now, as if he wants you to look back at him, to listen to whatever he’s going to say, and that’s the one thing you don’t want to do. You hate that he’s being kind. You wish he’d be sarcastic and mean and cruel, bite into you and feed off your self-pity. But he’s being nice, nice in the same way that he’s nice when he buys the right brand of milk for you (because the others make you sick, and the taste is different), or when he drives you places in his car when it’s raining so that you don’t have to take the buses everywhere, or when he comes home with your ridiculous coffee order that costs a hellacious amount of money with all of your substitutions and additions and flavorings.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he says resolutely, leaving no room for argument, “Just— I didn't know you were feeling like that. I would’ve gone with you if you told me you needed someone. I assumed you were going with a friend.”

You don’t respond with I don’t have any friends, because you’re pretty sure that’s clear enough by now, and you don’t want to confirm what’s already been confirmed a million times over just from the way you act. The way you cling to yours and Blade’s apartment, the way you never spend a second longer than you need to in any of your classes, the way that sometimes, when Blade goes out for class or work, you sit on the couch in silence with your laptop out, doing your work for the week and checking the clock and taking naps so that you don’t have to feel so alone for so long.

“You didn't want to go,” you say instead, “I wasn’t going to make you just because I’m— I don’t know.”

“I would’ve gone for you,” he tells you, really tells you, with a force in his words, like he wants to drive the point into you with a stake, driven right through your heart. “I would do a lot of things if you asked. You just need to ask.”

You don’t— you really don’t want to think about what that means. What he means. You rip your eyes away from the car window and turn to face him. He’s not too close. You almost wish he could be closer, but you would suffocate under the pressure in your stomach and behind your eyes.

He shouldn’t say things like that, things like You just need to ask, because you’d ask for a lot if given the chance. You’d ask for him to come to parties with you, stay by your side, let you put a hand on his shoulder and guide him around another disgusting frat house as if you know what you’re doing. You’d ask him to sleep in the same bed as you some nights, just a foot away from each other, backs turned to each other but still close enough that you can feel the unnatural coldness that radiates off of Blade.

You’d ask him to introduce you to Kafka and that other girl they hang out with, to say something stupid and funny like This is my abhorrent roommate, be nice to them, and that way you’d have more contacts in your phone that aren't just Blade and your parents and two old high school friends who you haven’t spoken to in a year. You’d ask him to be a lot more than just a plus-one to a party full of people you’ve never met.

“I just want to go home,” you breathe out, a guilty confession burning your gums and leaving a sour taste in your mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry,” he asserts for the second time tonight, making your lungs squeeze as you puff out a tired exhale. Blade turns back in his seat, taking the car out of park and heading back onto the road—driving slowly, yet again, avoiding cracks and potholes in the road. “You need to eat something. You’ll wake up with a hellish headache if you go to bed dehydrated.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“I said it, so it’s true,” he says petulantly, turning the car down into a road that’s definitely not in the direction of your apartment building. To your hidden delight, the glowing sign of a twenty-four-seven ice cream store comes into view, and you sit up just a little bit. Blade slows the car as he turns into the drive-thru, glancing at you with an eyebrow half-raised.

“What do you want? I’ll order for you.”

“I don’t have my wallet,” you admit, just a little bit embarrassed. “I didn't even bring my keys with me. Do you think they take Apple Pay?”

A breathy laugh escapes him, and you catch sight of a dimple pressed into his cheek, and you want to press your thumb into it and look at his smile, just for a little longer. “Don’t be dumb. I’m paying,” he tells you, the same way he has every time he pays for your cafe drink, or when he comes home from work with your favorite, and says You’re broke enough without having to pay for these drinks, don’t pay me back in that snippy way he shows his care.

You ask for a medium vanilla milkshake, with sprinkles, and he gets you a large instead, which you’re more than grateful for. He refuses to let you look at the receipt for the total cost, and hands you the milkshake with a comical severity that you often see in him. The sweet drink washes away any bitter taste left in your mouth, and you feel a little better, a little nicer in your haphazard party outfit and under Blade’s fleeting gaze.

A deep sigh escapes you, one of relief, when the car finally parks at your apartment building. Blade puts a cold hand between your shoulder blades, unobtrusive and leading, and it’s a comforting contrast from the heat lingering on your skin from the party and the closed car. It feels right, more in-place than Kafka’s warm hands were when she wiped your face and kept you steady, though she was just as gentle.

Blade all but tosses you onto the couch, claiming that it’s much too late for a shower and he’d rather not deal with you collapsing from exhaustion in the tub. You relent easily, the exhaustion of the night hitting you and soaking into your limbs.

“I’ll let you sleep on the couch,” he says, and it’s a good and kind thing, because he knows that sometimes you hate your bedroom because it’s just too empty, and the constant sound filtering into the living room puts you at ease. He never lets you sleep on the couch, because it’s bad for your back, and he jokes about you developing adult onset scoliosis with the awful way you sleep. Letting you do it, just this once, is another one of his small mercies.

The TV is on, humming at a low volume, and your legs are thrown across Blade’s lap. You’re shocked that he’s willing to fall asleep with you like this, but he’s kind, sarcastic and biting but kind all the same, as much as he loathes to admit it. It’s not too lonely, you decide, hearing the bottle cap wind chimes on your balcony clink together in dissonant harmonies.

(There’s a missing text from a new contact on your phone when you wake up, coming from pretty lady friend, extending an invite to brunch in two days, and you kick your legs on the couch in giddy excitement, thinking about how you’ll rope Blade into coming with you, too.)

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taglist: @tragedy-of-commons

(pssst!!! send me a msg or fill out the form in my navi to be added to the taglist!!!)

#blade x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #blade hsr x reader #hsr blade x reader #hsr ren x reader #thats his name right..........#blade x you #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #begging myself to write something under 1k next time #i miss when i had the ability to write short drabbles instead of behemoths #i say this as if i don't have a supernatural blade fic thats already 5k and not even halfway done #THATS the real behemoth #he's so out of character here forgive me #i just like his pretty face #me writing about a frat party when i have yet to even touch the vicinity of a party house

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brainrotdotorg · 1 year

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im making this post for. fucking NO ONE LMAO but i saw @sydmarch's fucking bonkers post about measurehead being openly racist to "his babe" (named katya) and it boggled my mind so much that i was like. yanno what. I'm gonna find out more about this chick. so strap in because the patented Niche Character Lover is gonna do some digging on this extremely niche character.

Let's get started by checking her wiki page! Here is what we have to work with:

Literally fucking nothing. Okay cool. Here's the very little amount of information we have:

Her name is Katya

She's Graadian

She's in a relationship with Measurehead (and calls him by his real name, Jean-Luc)

She is one of multiple "measurehead babes" it seems

cool okay so theres some preliminary information. all extremely basic stuff. I dove into FAYDE to see what I could find, and there are a few details to be gleaned.

Our explanation for why she's with him in the first place! She buys into the bullshit, "craniometric perfection", a fellow believer of racist bullshit. She buys into it hard core, as seen here:

"Transcends the merely sexual"-- she worships this guy!

Anyway, she's also into 'men with guns and power', implied here she may be flirting a little bit even with the lil hair twirl. Makes some idle conversation with Harry and Kim as they wait:

[Og]996.MEASUREHEAD'S BABE - "Don't worry. Physical stuff like this is *really* easy for Measurehead. Mental stuff too. He's really spiritual, you know." She looks around.

[Og]2.MEASUREHEAD'S BABE - "It's late outside, isn't it? You guys must really like doing what you do. To be out so late..." She turns to behold the behemoth appearing around the corner, approaching the gates.

(good with the mental and spiritual... sure, okay)

They seem to have some level of... I guess "tenderness" for each other? Calling one another pet names and whatnot, okay, I guess we could call it that. Interesting to see her not be a million percent on his side all the time, she actually asks him to give Harry a chance.

In fact, she's quite amenable to a shift in control. Loyal, she is not!

She did say she was into power, to be fair, and Harry's the new guy on top once he beats MH's ass, so that makes sense.

Katya is also sometimes used as a mouthpiece for ALL the babes (iirc there are 3?) as seen here

god they are down FEROCIOUS!!

Cockmanship above all else!! (this could just be a biased harry-ism ofc so. grain of salt!)

But here's the thing- you know the dick isn't even good, because, as syd brought to my attention... MEASUREHEAD CAN'T SEEM TO FUCKIN GET IT UP FOR THEM BECAUSE HES SO RACIST.

(screenshots taken directly from their post) ... so, like, what the fuck, right? Well, apparently when you go off to talk to Measurehead privately, it's about the babes. Lets see what he has to say.

She also doesn't seem to like being ogled by guys other than Measurehead. At least, not by Harry, who she views as genetically inferior.

(This is gonna veer less into Katya-specific territory, but is gonna lean into more about MH's views on women. Which I was actually wondering about earlier tonight, how serendipitous)

This isn't relevant, it's just table setting. I thought it was funny. Anyway, once you get through some nationalist BS, we get to the meat of the matter. Or should I say the meat and potatoes of the matter? no i shouldnt

okay. so. lots going on here.

uh. after this he starts talking about semen retention yeah man we've all heard it you don't bust nuts yadda yadda semen reserves whatever. this is pretty much as close as we get from measurehead himself about what... that whole deal is. he lied before, about not being able to get hard for his babes, at least thats the context that im getting. he's TURNED ON by them, he says so himself. but he won't admit it in a public forum, only when its just him and harry.

he... he literally cant justify himself how he's racist AND attracted to those in the racial group he demeans. it's just all faux-intellectual bullshit. i don't know what else i expected! this leaves a lot of questions, though-- did MH and his babes talk this out? do they realized just how hard theyre being fetishized? i mean, they buy into the race pseudoscience shit. oh, god, its most likely a case of "im special, im different, im the exception" that happens too often. thats all speculation; but in my mind, thats the most likely result.

This has strayed away from Katya, let's bring it back to our gal. What else can we learn about her?

Well, unfortunately, not much. I tried my hardest to look for every other instance where she speaks, and there aren't many. Only 65, from my count, and a good chunk of those are just lil dialogue blips.

These last two facts are what I could find that seemed significant:

When Harry says that he's going to stop drinking, she gives us the only real indicator we have of her personal past- her mother was an alcoholic, and she's pretty blasè about it. Okay girl casual loredrop

...and Measurehead eats her out. And apparently she enjoys it. okay. (or she could just be posturing, notice she doesnt say that it makes HER pussy say "yes plenty" so...)

and hey, just to tie it all up, here's all the shit that katya and the other babes just say casually when you walk by em:

"Measurehead crushes all."

"More than enough to please a woman." (further proving the theory that they do fuck, still not enough to support any hypotheses that he's any good at it)

"Measurehead is a powerful man."

"The future belongs to Measurehead."

"Nobody comes close to Measurehead."

"You're the right stuff, Measurehead."

"No man matches Measurehead."

"Measurehead makes all men quiver." (sus)

"Oh, Measurehead!"

"Measurehead is *law*."

"Everyone should try to be more like Measurehead."

"No one will get past you!"

"Just look at him, the wonderful hunk."

"Not soft and weak like other men."

"Measurehead's amazing!"

"I dream about you all the time."

I don't really know what I did this for or even if i found out anything significantly new but. god. so many questions. what are the other babes like? what are their names? how did measurehead find/indoctrinate them? were they already brainwashed? so many questions!!!!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION i think katya and the two other babes should unionize and start their own polycule without him and also get. un-brainwashed. thanks

#disco elysium #i promise im not going to become a Katya Stan or whatever shes a racist #im just fascinated by her. DISCO ELYSIUM NICHE NPCS MY BELOVEDS!!!!#lore search

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kijosakka · 2 months

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and the thoughts taunt me yet again. its just becoming commonplace at this point to ramble on tumblr before i go to sleep uhhh

theres gotta be like, a liiitle bit of established characterization summed up beyond a mess of multi paragraph behemoth rambling posts in a rb chain to rehash canon properly um,,

^ general idea is of noah knowing chris and chef before TD is even conceptualized and growing up in the industry bc of it, if only ever behind the scenes and watching in < all of the posts are actually more character studies about being Wary of the Cameras than anything else but id like to look at canon if only just to try and puzzle out/outline developments and whatnot.

starting out pre-island and segueing into his little time on island (and still being majorly character study-y):

chris, with TD being a new show and all, has trouble filling out the cast, and being fussy about the specifics of his show, is willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find those three castmates to pad it out. hence; duncan, ezekiel, and noah

^ duncan and ezekiel both did send in audition tapes, while noah did not, (i'd imagine here something about the TD website having everyones audition tapes release once theyre eliminated as 'bonus content'. everyone, of course, except noah.) cause, you know. up until this point hes only ever been known in The Business as 'that snappy but has surprisingly good insight into the Business kid noah who accompanies mclean', but now hes being asked to join this show he wants no part in. hes perfectly willing to help out behind the scenes, wheres hes comfortable, but chris insists -- and eventually, noah gives in.

the caveat is that he goes into the show both knowing about the resort after elimination and hyperaware of the reality tv aspect. and since, in his mind, hes elimination fodder there to make sure they have a full cast roster, he delegates himself a background character and acts as such.

hes not meant to last long, so he singles out some traits and ideas and detaches his person from them. for the length of the entire show, noah knows he wont be a person. he'll be a character made up of one-liners and quips with no character motivations or involvement in any real plotlines, someone who you see how early they get eliminated and you go 'yeah, that makes sense' and then never think about again.

^ and this is very apparent from his first onscreen appearance -- it takes a good minute for the boat to go back and forth picking up contestants even if most of the spare footage is cut, and as people arrive, even if the camp is a disappointment there's a shared sense of wonder about being the people who made it onto the show they all collectively want to be on. they chat and share excited pleasantries and theres a sense of personality that is immediately apparent to their peers because of it -- except for noah. noah has his one back-and-forth with duncan and then lets himself fade into the background from there on out.

and at first, its a kind of deal where its just like 'alright. hes shy, thats alright!!", but then it continues into when theyre all sent off and distinctly off camera. you try to chat with noah, and he gives you a non-answer or a one-liner than would be great for an audience!...if anyone were watching.

the walk up the mountain for the first challenge is much of the same: no input on the speculation about the challenge, just unnerving blankness. his facial expression is unchanging, not like he was unphased by the challenge, but more like he just isnt there for it. like the plot doesnt demand his presence.

again and again the first impression they get of this guy is a weird, offputting uncanny valley sensation. he doesnt come off as a real person, he comes off as robotic and lifeless. and its weird. i'd imagine in terms of character relationships, a lot of characters would be weirded out by him and completely write him off, while some of the nicer would insist on giving him a chance to get used to everything.

the second challenge comes -- he has his whole fake-faceplant thing that hints at something more, but again. hes a collection of ideas, and one of those ideas could just be potential, overridden by his apathy and laziness; two other key ideas.

noah doesnt touch any of the food provided during that second-first-half bit, just stands blankly off to the side like hes being used for background filler. of course he doesnt, the cameras are right there. (does no one else understand that?)

^ [*]awakeathon comes and goes; noah falls asleep, and that's.... it. no scheme, no strategy, he just separates himself physically from the cast by a few feet, and gets cozy to sleep. and then he wakes up. no insight into the character like with, say, courtney or justin. no plotting like heather. just banal averageness. a play to be overlooked.

and what was he to do? there were no real opportunities for any of his 'collection of ideas' to slot in, so he fades into the background and lets everyone else take up the screentime.

[*there is, i imagine, a kind of alternate version of events where the kiss with cody does happen and can be used as further/a more clear incentive for the events of dodgebrawl to happen.

the reason ive cut it here is because just in the context of noah sticking so hard to his hyperawareness, i would imagine he would know of and preemptively try and take measures against any Sleep Shenanigans that may happen, or may even avoid sleeping for longer because of the possibility.]

and then its dodgebrawl; he sees his chance to really flaunt his non-substance. [*]noah hates physical activity, thats one of his main Ideas in his compartmentalized collection. which better challenge to utilize it in than this one? again, hes elimination fodder. as far as he's concerned, this works out perfectly.

[*this would kind of give you a reason to change his lack of athleticism if you so wished. theres an alternate-alternate version of canon keeping this same noahs background that i might post about on here at some point, but in said AU hes more physically adept bc of his past in behind-the-scenes work. whos to say he hasnt helped carry heavy set pieces or ran around during busy hours?

it could serve to be a) self indulgent to some degree, and who doesnt love that, but also b) further alienate him from his cast, where even one of the barest traits he exhibits is just flat out wrong.

or you could just keep it as-is, and alter his attitude towards anything physical while keeping his unathleticism. or it could just be one of his chosen (truthful) traits that he decides fits with his on-screen character. its pretty ambiguous]

he gloats and inserts his quips where he can, the book hes carrying really just there to really sell it -- in terms of the cast and their thoughts, its again strange.

hes saying Words, but theyre Detached from the character and demeanor. hes putting on a performance and hes selling it pretty well, but its still hard to shake how off something seems about it. but noah does sell it and he gets voted off, off to his long vacation stay which he is absolutely looking forward to.

he arrives at the island, he gives his character interview full of non-answers, and then -- well, thats it. or it would've been it had he not noticed the obscene explosion of popularity the show had from its debut. the general public loved it, and you know what happens to shows that people absolutely adore? they get approved for second seasons.

this is the fact that tips noah straight into barring himself from all interpersonal relationships, as he was already wary simply by virtue of them being his castmates --theyre on screen, on set with him. that changes a lot about your dynamic with someone. -- and that he never really knows if theyre being watched on the playa; it is network-owned at the end of the day. so both the uncertainty and 'confirmation' of a second season lead him to avoid the cast entirely. literally.

nobody sees anything of noah beyond flashes in peripherals, disappearing books from the living area, and dirty dishes -- until theyre called for filming of haute camp-ture. and while its obvious to everyone else that theyre treading lightly around him since they, you know, havent seen him at all, noah acts completely unchanged. no acknowledgement of his absence, just the same dynamic with his castmates hes always had on-screen.

afterwards, someone tries to get his attention, to be like 'hey?????', and noah dismisses them extremely flatly. like npc dialogue. and then he disappears again, until i triple dog dare you, which im going to say they just gather everyone outside and let them do their own things until someone spins them and they have to give a dare. noah sits himself on a pool chair in his swim shirt and trunks with a book and Does Not interact with the cast at all.

^ you could spin it where they get a bunch of dares from the contestants individually and just read off from where theyre listed or whatever but this would be a chance to have alternate povs noting exactly what the characters think of noahs separation from everyone

anyway theyre called on the island for the [*]finale between owen and gwen, and he lets himself fade into the background. his work is done, it has been done, and now he just has to wait for what the segue into the inevitable second season is so he can wipe his hands clean of it (or so he thinks)

[*i think it could be written both ways, one where when the cast cheers he cheers and when they scream he screams, or another where despite the frenzied emotions around him, noah remains unaffected.

perhaps it could be used as a kind of 'well even people like zeke and eva are rowdy about this' contrast where either way it comes off as incredibly uncanny; one way, hes showing distinct emotion where he never has before, while never having shown any emotional investment in the winner. and the other way, hes completely detached from the emotions around him, to the point where he acts like its not even happening; his lack of investment in the winner is offputting, esp when compared to very early eliminated contestants who still do care.]

#is this incoherent?? probably #im sure i forgot about sometbing i meant to write about #im realizing how difficult it is to write about canon since this is a very introspective idea #and therefore doesnt require changes to canon until WT #< which i havent fully puzzled out yet #im sure ill rb this with the tddddi special and more about action as an Entity #and maybe ill touch on chef/chris & noah dynamic then?? idk #ik i want to ramble a Whole Lot about noahs dynamics with the wt cast but #since i haven’t figured the plot of it i cant get into it :(#dramaturgyAU #total drama #td noah #character analysis #< ??? whatever #long posts

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gaienenkidou · 3 months

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uni2 spoilers

now that the uni2 honeymoon period is setting in some... ive been thinking about specifically merkava's good ending a whole lot for the past 2 days out of everyone... (excluding enkidu because. yknoww teehee. hehe. haha.) ive been thinking about how genuinely adorable his reaction to being a human is. seeing merkava suffer for well over a decade across games and getting to be genuinely vindicated for trying to keep that human part of him still there. i think no part shows that at its best but at the beginning of the end of his kuon fight (sorry thats a mouthful) where when hes eating him up, in the bad ending human merk's narration is taken over by the merk we know, completely frenzied, but in the good ending human merk's narration continues...until he realizes this isn't him internally monologuing anymore he's just a guy now! i also just think him having two endings makes his arcade route the most impactful out of everyone especially since merkava is already like one of the coolest and most interesting fg characters like...ever. it really highlights the stakes of his wellbeing and how an overwhelming night like that effects it. i feel like underwhelming endings like byakuya's or the re-birth'd endings of hilda and carmine could've benefitted from a bad/good ending path structure too... take mega advantage of how arcade modes in fgs function for your final game dammit!!!!

i like seeing him thrilled at all the small things he can feel now as a human. when he fully processes the fact that he is a Real guy now the first thing he just thinks is what he wants to do...and how just living a normal ass life, even the struggle parts, is all he wanted (even if brought up upon a gag scene) its good to see merkava...happy after so long as someone thats followed this game since like, uniel? while questions remain unanswered abt him (like his ties with orie) his salvation is the most rewarding out of everyone because of the nature of his character. its cute to imagine him just doing normal things while his speech is still oddly formal and probably still a behemoth height wise and also his hair just being like that. moe if you will. with that said wheres my fucking 12 episode slice of life human merkava anime i want to see that grown ass man live a satisfying life. please for the love of god i just want to see it. this is why we need that chronicle mode patch. i wanna see other characters react to him suddenly being a hot man. why did they have to lowkey rush uni2 out the door

the merk = hollow god theory going around is also pretty interesting because while i can see that conclusion for obvious reasons (HE LITERALLY SAYS THE TITLE BY NAME LOL,) i also feel like he would've had a power trip moment like hilda and carmine did when they converted if he really REALLY did inherit stuff from the hollow god? but merkava is just...normal. he's just overwhelmed with the joy of getting to indulge himself. so either thats a testament to how humble the hollow god was or like merk's deep humanity just overrid any of that nonsense. i prefer just human merkava being human merkava because that implies he truly is just a regular weird good guy and possibly was just that in his past too.

i wish i had been thinking abt merk's ending this deep when i made that initial answer to @/starocide's ask because the implications of both his endings for him as a character AND LIKE GENERAL UNI WORLDBUILDING are insanely fucking valuable when you think about it. its up there with chaos's arcade route with how much it forwards it. is there hope for all voids in general with what the good ending implies? im so curious now....

Also because i have to say it: verdict is in. human merkava is pretty hot actually. Meow meow meow

#uni2 spoilers #under night in birth #merkava #omiwa txts #ok to rb btw feel free to infodump and whatnot

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origamiyoda · 1 year

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im sooo intrigued by the kaiju in pacrim, specifically with the narrative of like. how humanity kinda got cocky and there started being like action figures and tv spots and kaiju grrroupies and like. idk theres something about romanticizing these behemoths that we dont understand and that r larger than life.? Same could be said for the jaegers I guess

idk like I grew up & live in a place where theres a lot of advertisement for whale watching!!! come see these whales!!! go visit the seal colony out on the abandoned pier!!!! get up close and personal with the local wildlife!!! and the horror stories of people being stupid and getting too close or too comfortable and people getting hurt or hurting or, god forbid, even killing? the animals?? Or getting themselves killed?

I worked kayak rentals one summer and we had to have this extra 10 min talk before we sent people out into the bay about not touching the seals and staying at LEAST 100 yards away from them and dont stick your hand in the water if one swims near you

like its I guess the same narrative with the jurassic park movies, with the hubris of thinking we could control or make them into entertainment of some kind. let sleeping dogs lie etc. or with like Nope, the idea behind making a spectacle out of everything and everyone yknow

thats part of the reason i think that pacrim feels so real is that like. Of course we'd make action figures and toys and these pilots would rise to superstar status and we'd have a favorite jaeger and a favorite kaiju while people, actual people, are fighting and dying and cities are getting destroyed and its just!! So so awful and interesting and so horribly horribly real

#idk where this went #recently theres been advertisement for whale watching tours down by the water again and it got me thinking about like #if the kaiju werent like. Actively terrorizing the world and were maybe just new weird megafauna #there would definitely be fucking. Kaiju watching or kaiju spotting boats and cruises & tours #or like a cruise where you track and follow kaiju around yknow #idk. The need to make profit literally everywhere at the expense of everyone else etc etc #leo yells #pacrim #pacific rim #pacific rim kaiju

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cronotose · 29 days

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none of you probably know who this is but its doda a polish singer this is how she looked like in the 2000s and i am a big fan of her my name on a polish social media site is dodafan and has been for a year and two in a couple months and i feel like the drawings came out well so im shearing them

this is NERGAL ADAM DARSKI from BEHEMOTH doda and him DATED

all of these are based on real photos, this was a photo of her doing this pose with a big sign saying "2003" behind her, "dwutysięczny zero trzeci rok" means year two thousand zero three in polish bc im polish if you guys havent found out already :P

doda used to wear corsets because she had a back disability or something like that and thats one of her corsets

#doda elektroda #polish art #polish tumblr #polska #artists on tumblr #my art #art

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pesterloglog · 5 months

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Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley, Dave Strider

Act 5, page 2852

CCG RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.

CCG: HEY FUTURE ME, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS EXPLODED JADEBOT BUSINESS?

CCG: MUST BE SOMETHING REALLY MISSION CRITICAL, OR JADE WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED GETTING IN TOUCH WITH US, RIGHT?

CCG: SOMETHING IMPERATIVE TO OUR SURVIVAL NO DOUBT?

CCG: HEY DOUCHE BAG, ARE YOU THERE

??? gardenGnostic [?GG] AT ?:?? responded to memo.

?GG: oh jeez, why am i doing this

?GG: this is so stupid!

CCG: PIPE DOWN HARLEY, THIS PRACTICALLY DOESN'T EVEN CONCERN YOU AT THIS POINT

?GG: bluhhh youre so funny!!!!!

CCG: NOTHING TO SAY, FUTURE ME?

CCG: NOT EVEN A FEW PARTING WORDS OF SCORN FOR ME OR THE NARCOLEPTIC IDIOT?

CCG: IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE'VE SPARRED, HOW I'VE MISSED THE SWEET STING OF YOUR BARBS

?GG: are you enjoying yourself karkat?

CCG: HAHAHA YOU ARE SO DUMB YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS IS A RUSE.

CCG: YOU'VE COME ALL THIS WAY AND YOU STILL DON'T GET THAT ALL THE SHIT WE'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT IS REAL.

CCG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE PULLING A STUNT LIKE THIS, WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.

CCG: I REALLY AM TALKING TO FUTURE ME, HE'S JUST BEING AN EVASIVE TOOL.

?GG: well obviously i know some things youve said are true

?GG: its just hard to take everything at face value when youre always so nasty!

CCG: YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY AMAZING HOW BEHIND THE TIMES YOU ARE.

CCG: IT'S ALMOST AS IF YOU'VE SLEPT THROUGH THIS WHOLE ADVENTURE

CCG: OH WAIT, THAT IS ESSENTIALLY TRUE.

CCG: IT WAS HILARIOUS WATCHING YOU GROW UP.

CCG: YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD ALL THE ANSWERS, FROLICKING ALL OVER YOUR ISLAND BEING INFURIATINGLY CHIPPER, BUILDING ROBO-BUNNIES LIKE A MORON AND ULTIMATELY RUINING EVERYTHING.

CCG: YOU WERE SO SURE YOUR DREAMS TOLD YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO KNOW.

CCG: AND NOW LOOK AT YOU

CCG: YOU SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND JACK SHIT.

?GG: ok i understand that you are another group of players and you are in some sort of trouble

?GG: but maybe if you had been nice to me instead of terrorizing me all those years i would have believed you

?GG: and we could have worked together to solve your problems as well as ours

?GG: it just makes me sad to think thats probably impossible now because you are so angry and stubborn!

CCG: DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE I'M ANGRY AND STUBBORN.

CCG: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT THOSE ASSETS MAKE POSSIBLE.

CCG: THEY MADE YOU POSSIBLE, GOT IT???

?GG: uh huh

CCG: DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO BE GRACED BY MY DIVINE FURY?

CCG: TO HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF GETTING TO BE STUDIED AND MOCKED BY ME FOR YOUR WHOLE PATHETIC MISERABLE LIFE?

CCG: DO YOU REALIZE I'M YOUR GOD? YES, YOUR LITERAL GOD, THAT'S RIGHT.

?GG: sure karkat, whatever you say!

CCG: AND I HAVE TAKEN TIME OUT OF MY BUSY GODLY SCHEDULE TO SCRUTINIZE YOUR POINTLESS EXISTENCE.

CCG: OUT OF THE COUNTLESS TRILLIONS OF LIFE FORMS I BROUGHT INTO REALITY THROUGH ANGRY GRUBFUCK POWER ALONE, I HAVE SELECTED YOU FOR EXAMINATION AND HARASSMENT.

CCG: PERSONALLY I THINK THAT WARRANTS A LITTLE GRATITUDE, AND JUST MAYBE, A BIT OF DEFERENCE.

CCG: A CURTSY, PERHAPS?

CCG: BUT YEAH GO AHEAD AND KEEP BLOWING ME OFF LIKE THE FLAKEY LITTLE TWERP YOU ARE.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 3 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCG: HEY DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT YOU UNCOUTH PIECE OF SHIT.

FCG: THIS IS REFLECTING POORLY ON BOTH OF US, IT'S GODDAMNED EMBARRASSING.

CCG: OH WOW, ANOTHER MIRACLE.

CCG: IT MUST BE PERIGEES EVE, BECAUSE GET A LOAD OF THIS HUGE BEHEMOTH LEAVING THAT JUST GOT DRAGGED IN.

CCG: JADE, OUR DUTY IS CLEAR. WE MUST DECK THIS TURD TO THE NINES.

FCG: OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A CLEVER THING TO SAY. WHAT A DIPSHIT.

?GG: aaauugh what the hell!!!

FCG: JADE, I'M SORRY ABOUT PAST ME'S RETARDED BEHAVIOR.

FCG: I'M NOT GOING TO DRAG OUT A HUGE APOLOGY OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I ALREADY APOLOGIZED IN AN EARLIER CONVERSATION, OK. I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.

CCG: GOD DAMMIT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

CCG: I MEAN, AM I SERIOUS?????

CCG: WILL I BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS SHIT. WILL I REALLY BACK DOWN LIKE A LIMP FRONDED STOOGE? PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING.

FCG: PLEASE, JUST

FCG: SHUT UP

FCG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER THOUGHT FUTURE ME WAS THE STUPID ONE

FCG: PAST ME IS THE DUMBEST BUCKET OF FESTERING DISCHARGE I EVER FELL ASS BACKWARDS INTO.

FCG: COME ON, YOU KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE. REMEMBER ALL THE PAST USSES WE USED TO TALK TO??

FCG: THEY WERE EVEN PASTER THAN YOU, AND THEREFORE DUMBER.

CCG: YEAH, I REMEMBER ALL THOSE DUMBSHIT PAST USSES, BUT THEY DON'T HOLD A FUCKING JACKASS CANDLE TO FUTURE USSES.

CCG: AND YOU'RE THE FUTUREST ME I EVER HAD THE CROTCH BLISTERING MISFORTUNE OF JAWING WITH, SO THE FUCKHEAD TROPHY GOES TO YOU.

CCG: I MEAN, MY GOD, WHY.

CCG: IS PROXIMITY TO THAT NASTY LOOKING SPACETIME RIP ON THE TIMELINE MESSING WITH YOUR HEAD?

CCG: IS THAT WHAT'S CAUSING YOU TO FEEL PITY FOR THIS IMBECILE?

FCG: LOOK, JADE'S NOT THAT BAD OK.

FCG: YOU JUST GOT TOO WORKED UP, AND YOU CAN'T SEE THAT.

FCG: AND NOW ALL THIS FROTHING PANDEMONIUM JUMPING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS JUST RIDICULOUS OVERCOMPENSATION FOR YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS AND MISTAKES, AND MASKING SOME FEELINGS YOU'RE NOT REALLY IN TOUCH WITH.

FCG: THIS IS ALL SO OBVIOUS, I'M FLUSHING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER IN EMBARRASSMENT HAVING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, AND EVEN WORSE, REMEMBERING HAVING IT EXPLAINED TO ME BY THE SMART ONE THREE HOURS AGO AND STILL ACTING LIKE A MOIST GLOBE EVEN AFTER BEING SO SOUNDLY SCHOOLFED.

CCG: I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE.

FCG: YOU SAID SO YOURSELF, WE DON'T JOKE AROUND. IT'S JUVENILE, REMEMBER.

CCG: I'M GOING TO VOMIT.

CCG: I'M MAKING A MENTAL NOTE TO SLAP MYSELF THREE HOURS FROM NOW, FOR BEING ENOUGH OF A SAP TO START DEVELOPING RED FEELINGS FOR A DUMB ANNOYING HUMAN, IF I'M READING BETWEEN THE LINES CORRECTLY.

FCG: I JUST SLAPPED MYSELF! I REMEMBERED MY LAME NOTE TO MYSELF FROM THREE HOURS AGO, AND THEN SLAPPED MYSELF SPECIFICALLY TO MOCK YOU.

FCG: IT STINGS TOO, YOU'LL FEEL IT IN A WHILE. AND THEN THE GHOST OF PAST ME WILL CRY.

FCG: PAST ME DOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. HE'S A STUPID BAWLING WIGGLER PHANTOM. HE'S DEAD, NOT A REAL GUY ANYMORE, LIKE ME.

FCG: I'M THE REAL ONE. YOU'RE FAKE, A SHADOW OF A SAD MEMORY THAT PISSED ITS PANTS WHILE SCREAMING.

FCG: TIME TO DEAL WITH IT.

CCG banned FCG from responding to memo.

FCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.

FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.

CCG unbanned himself from responding to memo.

?GG: i cant take this anymore!!!!!!!!

?GG: i dont even know what im reading here but its preposterous and ive had it!

?GG: i am just so angry, i cant believe i let you push me around all those years

?GG: you are completely out of your mind, i was too nice by just blocking you and typing frowny faces and stuff

?GG: i should have let you HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FCG: YES!!!!!

FCG: LET THIS FUCKER KNOW THE SCORE JADE. THIS IS HOW WE ROLL.

?GG: SHUT UP!!!!!!!

?GG: future karkat, if you really are future karkat......

?GG: where do you get off thinking you can just suddenly act like were pals because you said you apologized????

?GG: if you want to apologize then great i am all ears! but just mentioning it off hand and then yelling at yourself the same way you yell at me all the time as if i need a knight to come save me from yourself is so lame, not to mention completely insane

?GG: i cant even believe the things im typing here! this is so stupid, talking to two of you at once is the worst thing imaginable

?GG: you treat everyone horribly, even yourself, i cant even fathom how awful it is to be you

?GG: past karkat, youre acting like a bigger jerk than he is and i think you know that! why dont you take his advice and grow up

?GG: as if theres even a real difference between you two. three hours is hardly any time at all, you are the same person YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!

CCG: OH SHIT

FCG: YES, THAT WAS GREAT. WE BOTH HAD IT COMING, ESPECIALLY HIM. GREAT WORK JADE.

?GG: stop it!!!!

?GG: ugh, i dont know whats worse, jerk karkat or goofy sycophant karkat

?GG: i cant stand it, whether youre trying to be nice or just being a crazy asshole, you are just so weird!!!

?GG: im through humoring you, i dont even care about this stupid exploded robot mission, whatever that was

FCG: OH RIGHT, ABOUT THAT

FCG: YEAH WE NEED TO TALK

FCG: I MEAN WE HAVE ALREADY FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

FCG: BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE REALLY BUSY SOON, BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO ENTER YOUR SESSION

FCG: SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU DO, THEN JUST HIT ME UP, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT

?GG: hahaha, FAT CHANCE!!!!

FCG: LOOK I KNOW THINGS ARE WEIRD BETWEEN US RIGHT NOW AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD.

FCG: ESPECIALLY AT THAT LOSER.

FCG: BUT THINGS WILL CHANGE, IN TIME YOU'LL SEE I'M NOT QUITE SO AWFUL, OK?

??? turntechGodhead [?TG] AT ?:?? responded to memo.

?TG: ahahahahah oh god

?TG: dude i cant believe you were just getting on our case about hitting on the troll girls

?TG: and then literally the very next memo you are slobbering all over jade

?TG: thats just perfect hahahaha

CCG banned ?TG: from responding to memo.

FCG rebanned ?TG: from responding to memo.

?GG: dave wait dont go!

?GG: youve got to save me from this insanity :(

FCG: OH I SEE, NOW YOU COULD USE A KNIGHT, HOW VERY INTERESTING, HMMM.

FCG: GOD I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO BE FUTURE YOU, SLIGHTLY LESS FUTURE YOU IS SUCH A GOD DAMN PILL

?GG: i cant wait for future you to future kiss my ass!

CCG: YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

?GG: i also cant wait for past you to past drop dead and go to hell, PAST TENSE!!!!!!!!

?GG: when are those things going to happen?? or will have already past/future happened?????

?GG: i want to put another reminder on my finger so i know when its time to throw a party!!!!

FCG: HAHAHAHA, YOU HEAR THAT YOU OBSOLETE PILE OF GARBAGE? JADE JUST FLIPPED YOU OFF WITH A COLORFUL FINGER.

CCG: MAN, SHE OBVIOUSLY HATES YOU MORE. SHE CALLED YOU A SYCOPHANT WHICH IS A HUNDRED TIMES MORE DESCRIPTIVELY WORSE THAN JUST BEING A RUN OF THE MILL SCUMBAG LIKE ME.

CCG: SHE IS TOTALLY ON TO YOU AND HOW DESPICABLE YOU'VE BECOME, CAN YOU BLAME HER FOR HATING US?

FCG: NO, I CAN BLAME YOU, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH NO MANNERS WHO'S ALL TWISTED UP INSIDE.

FCG: HOW'S THIS FOR A PACT, EVERYBODY.

FCG: PAST KARKAT ONLY TALKS TO PAST JADE FROM NOW ON, AND THE TWO OF THEM CAN BICKER LIKE SHITTY LITTLE CHILDREN FOR HOURS/YEARS RESPECTIVELY.

FCG: AND FUTURE KARKAT ONLY TALKS TO FUTURE JADE, AN ARRANGEMENT WHEREIN ONLY INTELLIGENT DISCOURSE TAKES PLACE BETWEEN TWO CIVILIZED, MATURE, GROWN ASSED ADULTS.

FCG: IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??????

?GG: jesus will you just ban me already????

?GG: my head hurts so bad now i think im going to cry

FCG: MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST BAN HER ALREADY AND END THIS TORMENT SINCE YOU DRAGGED HER INTO THIS.

CCG: FUCK THAT YOU BAN HER. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SEEMS TO "CARE".

FCG: WILL YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, MAN THE FUCK UP, AND BAN THIS POOR GIRL ALREADY?

?GG: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa XO

?GG: i will just ban myself!!!!

?GG: *JADE HARLEY BANNED HERSELF FROM RESPONDING TO THE GRUMPY SHIT HEAD MISERY ZONE, AND IS NEVER COMING BACK*

?GG: pchoooooooooooooooo

[?GG] ceased responding to memo.

FCG: OK, THERE. SHE'S GONE.

FCG: MAYBE NOW YOU GET IT.

FCG: HOW HIDEOUS EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE, MAYBE YOU'LL FINALLY STOP FUCKING EVERYTHING UP.

CCG: HUH

FCG: WHAT

CCG: I THINK

CCG: I WAS PROBABLY WRONG ABOUT JADE

CG: SHE'S A LITTLE LESS LAME THAN I THOUGHT

FCG: SHHHHSHHSHSHSHSH

FCG: SHE CAN STILL READ THIS YOU STUPID FUCK

FCG: NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO OPEN YOUR VEINS AND WRITE POEMS ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

CCG: FUCK YOU, I'M JUST VOICING A HARMLESS OBSERVATION OK

CCG: IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS IF SOME LUNK HEAD IN THE FUTURE GETS CARRIED AWAY WITH WHATEVER LITTLE THOUGHTS I MAY OR MAY NOT NOW BE THINKING

FCG: I...

FCG: BUT

FCG: HOW COULD THAT EVEN BE A REAL THING I TYPED THREE HOURS AGO, HOW COULD I BE THIS STUPID.

FCG: WE ARE JUST THE DUMBEST FUCKERS WHO EVER LIVED AREN'T WE.

CCG: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

FCG: I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO BAN US.

FCG: I'M JUST LEAVING.

[FCG] ceased responding to memo.

CCG: YEAH

[CCG] ceased responding to memo.

#homestuck #karkat vantas #jade harley #dave strider #homestuck act 5 #page 2852 #homestuck act 5 act 2

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wander-wren · 1 year

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humans are so silly and will get emotionally attached to the most random things.

when i was on crew i had favorite set pieces: the wooden benches, very good feel to carry?? and any time we had a house set piece i was obsessed. i also had a set piece that i HATED moving but also was emotionally attached to: a real grenn metal park bench that was so fucking heavy and i dont know where it came from but somehow found its way into almost every. single. show

when i worked at panera i wanted to be the one to count donations and make the little closing lists and i had to write the tasks down in a specific order but Not the order i did them in. bc. idk. also i loved drive thru over foh but tbh that was probably more bc foh required me to be On Display and people were meaner :(

now i have a very boring remote job working with data registry in various facilities, and i have a few different facilities i work on depending on the day, and they have personalities to me. i have favorites. this entire post was prompted bc i’m sad i have to stop working on my nice medium-sized cooperative favorite facility and go to the absolute behemoth problem child one that i hate. why is your data so fucking messed up all the time. die.

but anyway—people will get attached to anything, even things they hate, and idk, i think thats neat

#bird noises #is this a neurodivergent thing #or a normal thing #i flip flopped while writing i cant tell #pls tell me about your random attachments to thing especially if theyre weird or boring #i wanna know

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dapper-lil-catgirl · 2 years

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if ther is a behemoth is there a leviathan(and ziz everyone forgets ziz)

Thats the thing, behemoth is called many things, leviathan and juggernaught included, but behemoth is the name that stuck. People don't know her real name, she keeps that hidden given her origins. Also what's an ziz? i certainly never heard of that!

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eta-recs · 1 year

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Hello all,

I am just a person. Something unique about me is I read Fan Fiction. While not wholly unique on this website, out in the real world thats quite a shocking thing to say.

What may make me stand out is that I save every single fanfiction I read (good, bad, and worse) to the notes app on my iPhone.

So instead of keep those behemoth notes (several of which have reached the limit of links a note can have) I am going to save each and every fic I read here.

There will be a short about then a short thoughts on about each fic I read.

Hopefully someone enjoys.

xoxo

#fanfiction #fandom #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #archive of our own #archive of my own

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amoveablejake · 1 year

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A Never Ending Story

Tales of The Jedi

When Disney Plus first appeared onto the scene it didn’t have a great deal of content. Yes, it did have a wealth of Disney films and Disney Channel TV shows but it didn’t have the original series and films that Netflix and the other streaming rivals had become to be known for. It did however, launch with a title called ‘The Mandalorian’ which proved to be one of the best ‘Star Wars’ projects of recent years, actually no, best ‘Star Wars’ projects since the inception of the franchise. Disney would then go on to use its streaming platform to provide series for other franchises with different levels of success. Now, a few years down the line Disney Plus has grown to be a streaming platform behemoth like its rivals and it is frequently putting out new content. They have however, remained restrained with their ‘Star Wars’ offerings which I am very happy about. Yes, there are more titles than there have ever been but they are still spaced out enough to make each visit to the world feel unique and special in its own way. Over the last few weeks though, two new shows have been released, one ‘Andor’ that continues to be a revelation week in, week out and has surpassed all of my expectations. The other, is a six episode series of shorter animated episodes called ‘Tales of The Jedi’ and it is, well, its perfect.

When ‘Tales of The Jedi’ was announced I was very excited. I do like the ‘Star Wars’ animated series such as ‘The Clone Wars’ and ‘The Bad Batch’ very much so another entry in that style was always going to be appreciated. When I found out though that ‘Tales of the Jedi’ was going to be about two Jedis, Ahsoka Tano and Dooku, thats when my excitement really began to increase. Ahsoka Tano is a fantastic character and one that I always enjoy seeing and her three episodes of the series offer an even greater insight into a beautifully developed character however, the real star of the show here are the three Dooku episodes. They are, quite frankly, breathtakingly good. They’re the sort of episodes that you wouldn’t necessarily know that you wanted but then the moment you see them and you learn more about the character you will question why you never knew these points in the first place. Dooku now is a much more rounded character and one that has one of the richest backstories in all of ‘Star Wars’. His path to the Dark Side is one that I will be thinking about a great deal and I think I will be revisiting again. With these series, my favourite thing about them is that different parts of the galaxy and the lore are being explored so piece by piece this universe is continuing to grow and grow or rather its being enriched and I can’t wait to see what new, unexpected story is next.

If you will, I would like to change path for a moment here to end this week’s piece. I have been rather unsure what I wanted to write about this week as nothing felt quite right. I did have an idea but in the end I just couldn’t face it. Maybe another time. Instead I turned to ‘Star Wars’ as I so often have during times like this and it provided the warmth that I was looking for. It is a funny time of year and today is never an easy day. It has been many years but I still don’t really know what to say and whilst this may seem to be a bit more of a rambling end here I wanted to say something, even if it only makes sense to me. So yes, I am always thinking of him, today especially.

-Jake, a man breathing in and out, 06/11/2022

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adorable-deku · 3 years

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For the ask game!

Purple and.... indefatigable!

the behemoth au! we all love giant monsters right? right

when inko is pregnant, she notices herself getting heavier. a lot heavier. so much so that she cant actually support the weight of her child. she realizes she never asked her childs father what his quirk was. she only knew that he could breathe fire. maybe there was more to it

when he kicks, it hurts. like real horrible pain. she realizes he might already have a quirk and prepares herself for the worst, asking her best friend to raise her child just in case of the worst (the kids father? fucked off to who knows where not long after he was conceived

it is a miracle she lives through the childbirth at all to see her black iridescent scaled son so heavy that is she not allowed to hold him and so large that she wasnt even able to give birth normally. she dies not long after from a variety of reasons

izuku is taken in by mitsuki bakugou who now has to deal with not only her extremely fussy son, but her dead best friends literal monster(?) son.

she suspects hes a dragon bc she knows hisashi could breathe fire but, looking at izuku, she cant be entirely sure.

he is sharp, angular, craggy, and is covered head to to with glossy scales that shine hummingbird green in the sun. green reptilian eyes that seem to glow in the dark

and he grows. he grows so much that he practically eats the bakugous out of their bank account

he seems to understand japanese but, much like katsuki, does not seem particularly inclined to listen

it is very awkward when people who dont know the bakugous thing that izuku is their weird reptilian pet

izuku gets very angry whenever it happens. hes a member of the family too goddamnit

by the time he is four he is the size of the house and it is getting difficult to maintain him. luckily, this is the year he gains the ability to be human sized. the relief upon seeing a four year old sized human izuku is palpable

(in case youre wondering, no, he didnt go to the daycare before he was able to transform. with his size there were just too many risks)

even in human form, his dragon(?) characteristics do not fade. he still has reptilian eyes and even if his size has changed, his weight has not and he still requires the same amount of food.

izuku is a fucking juggernaut in human form. hes a four year old who can wield an amount of force equivalent to throwing a house at someone

suffice it to say that nobody fucks with him, and hes also very close to katsuki, the other kid that nobody wants to fuck with

that being said, people (especially those who have seen his true form) fear him in a way that they do not fear katsuki

i kinda want him to be friends w spinner tbh. an older lizard friend mentor. i dont think hes that much older than izuku so i guess hed be like an older brother friend

maybe izuku posts on a board for kids with mutant quirks and asks for advice on how to make his classmates less scared and thats how they become friends

izuku thinks heroes are super cool still, but he idolizes ryukyu more than all might (for obvious reasons)

now this can go one of two ways

something forces him to use his true form which, by the age of ten, is the size of a five story building and extremely strong. he wreaks destruction. (idk maybe hes injected w trigger wo his consent or smth) and then has to deal w the consequences while still trying to be a hero

that doesnt happen. he goes to the hero exam. fuckin aces it because hes just so much stronger than the robots

The Izuku Issue™ : the more emotional he becomes, the more of his true form he regains, and if he doesnt control it, it is very very easy to hurt someone on accident

thats it for now folks

#ask meme #ask game #ask games #bnha #midoriya izuku #deku #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha au

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aonogifreactions · 3 years

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Hug Headcanons: Revisited

a/n: ive felt like i should rewrite this for a while now. i hated seeing those stuped ~180 words, so.. thats why were here! xD i added yukio to the mix as well, since ive gotten this ask >:) huge thanks to @no-remorse, who beta-read it for me <33

Tiny edit: I’d love to hear the feedback for this one! <3

Warnings: Spoiler in the last headcanon in Yukio’s part!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Lucifer, Amaimon, Astaroth.

★ Words: 2,1k.

Rin:

no matter where, who’s watching, or what had happened before, he’s gonna give you a big, big hug! he absolutely lives for your hugs, it soothes him emotionally so much and works as immediate relief.

almost always his one hand wraps around your waist, while the other one goes on your head as he nuzzles into your neck; his hugs are always tight, almost as if you were about to get taken away from him - he doesn’t really feel like that inside, but.. he likes feeling that you’re here. present. for him.

after a fight, he immediately runs into your arms and almost makes you both fall on the ground as you nearly lose your balance when his arms wrap around you; feeling your embrace, your warmness.. something in his mind switches right away and he’s calm. he’s still shaking, but it gradually stops as he relaxes in your arms.

at first, he might be a little shy, but when he gets comfortable, he can’t keep his arms away from you. He just.. loves feeling you. hugs make him somewhat vulnerable, because he lets his frustration out, and at the same time - Rin gets an extreme dose of serotonin. He tends to place his forehead on yours just before he loosens his hold on you, and eventually moves on do to his things.

depending on your height, he still loves hugging the same! if you’re short - during hugging, he also places his cheek on your head, leaving a soft kiss on your hair. if you’re tall - he loves!! hugging!! into your chest!! or whatever he reaches!! he’s just snuggling into you like a madman.

he gets butterflies in his stomach when you hug him from behind and almost starts stuttering. (do it when he's cooking or sumn,, but u didn't hear it from me)

also, please, PLEASE wrap your arms around his neck. he’s gonna MELT.

Yukio:

his hugs are rare, but it’s not like he doesn’t touch you - it’s just Yukio being Yukio; hugs make him vulnerable, similarly to Rin, except that it’s Yukio’s way to “open up” about his problems a little. It’s surely a very small step forward, but it shows that he's trying, yet he doesn’t realize how much it actually helps him.

he prefers to hug somewhere where there are not so many people around, not necessary in private completely, but as long as you’re the only one with him in the room, he’s down for a hug if he feels like it (or you beg him enough lol).

he’s usually silent during hugging, but he really “quietly” lets his frustration out, you might even catch him sighing. at first, he embraces you with only one arm and places his head on your shoulder, but when it hits him - the emotions, that he’s been waiting for years and now he’s finally able to tell someone everything - he’s almost crying, but he intertwines his other hand with yours instead. even though there are no real words shared, his love language involuntarily shows the beauty of his complicated personality.

now, he’s a little “unwilling” to hug you, mostly because of all that emotions crashing on him, but he feels so much better afterwards.. it’s unreal, he feels like you used some kind of magical spell on him.

the worst time to hug him is probably when he’s angry - and while it seems like a totally normal thing, it doesn’t work as comfort for him - it makes him even more upset, so it’s really best to leave him alone for some time. he knows your intentions are good though, so usually, he comes back to you with a calmed mind and apologizes.

I picture his S/O being in this mess in chapter 126, where the twins just beat the shit out of each other, and suddenly Yukio’s s/o comes up to him and stops from shooting Rin - he’d have that mental wall blocking him from hurting you in any way, just when he realizes he points his guns at your face or grabbing his hands and attempting to get Rin out of his target range - both of those things and any similar scenarios would end up with him looking at you with those beautiful, yet unfortunate eyes showing so much pain and sadness, along with that broken expression on his face, hoping to understand him.

Mephisto:

we’re gonna have fun here. hugging with Mephisto is pretty common, he likes touching you physically and doesn’t really care if people see it - he’ll push boundaries as far as he can, but unless it’s someone or something really important, he stops and gets serious.

^unless it’s Arthur, he could politely knock on the door. Hearing the permission to come in, the first thing he sees is Mephisto hugging you with a hand on your lower back, heading dangerously onto your ass while casually giving him random papers and smirking at him. wow.

if you think the twins’ grip was tight, Mephisto’s gonna literally try to squish you into his body - it’s not hugging if your bodies aren’t touching themselves in EVERY possible way. You could be practically glued to him and he won’t complain - in fact, he’s gonna have that shit-eating grin and tease you by saying “hmm, aren’t you needy, darling? you can’t be away from me even if I work!” (even if.. it was him who called you over...)

he GETS handsy and you can’t do anything about it. and he really does it on purpose, just to tease you and see how much time it takes for you to get either horny or snap at him. nonetheless, he likes to place hands around your waist or just on your hips, then shove you into him, so he’s able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

hugs definitely show his rather “softer” side, the silly one - but he also doesn’t hesitate to hug you when he’s serious; these hugs, however, tend to be quicker but more intimate. even if it’s just him standing next to you and placing his hand on your hip while watching the dark sky, stars flickering slightly as you feel a slight, cold breeze hit your face; you look at him, wondering what he’s thinking about, this incredibly sharp mind with hundreds, perhaps thousands of different thoughts. Is he reflecting? Reminiscing? Regretting? or is his mind wandering around some silly thoughts? Yet you’re the one left wondering, not noticing his emerald eyes have focused on yours a while ago. You take your eyes off him, slightly embarrassed, hearing only a faint chuckle and feeling his grip tightening on you as you two once again gaze at the glittering galaxy above you.

Lucifer:

due to his body being not as strong as Mephisto’s - he’s usually down for cuddling instead. however, when some of the elixirs do their job, he’s gonna give you hugs pretty often.

prefers to be in private when he really wants to give you a genuine hug; he doesn’t want to show others he fell for the trap named “love”. he lets himself be a hypocrite about it, for once (ekhem satan and yuri).

Of course, tiny hugs wouldn’t be forgotten while attending stuff anywhere else on Dominus Liminis, but they’re just quick hugs when you walk past him. he isn’t ashamed of you by any means, in fact, he’s proudly walking along with you most of the time, having a hand either on your waist or interlaced with yours.

Lucifer’s hugs are very, very confident and send butterflies to your stomach - he radiates that strong energy to make you feel secure in his arms - the world could be falling, but as long as you’re in his arms, he’ll do anything to protect you from any harm, even if this means losing his precious body.

sometimes he hugs you in his own, unique way - he interlaces both of his hands with yours and places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and sighing softly. while you might think it’s not really a hug, it’s definitely a very sweet gesture. you can get a kiss on the temple or a few sweet and uplifting words whispered in your ear too, if he feels particularly affectionate that day.

his views on physical contact are... a little bizarre; he’s confused and doesn’t fully understand the purpose of it, yet - he will admit it’s quite satisfying. feeling your lover is definitely something that feeds the feelings he’s had deep within him. he might be a little stiff when you introduce him to this too, no matter how many times he’d seen humans do it - experiencing it for the first time is new to him, but surely it is something he grew to enjoy.

so what’s that “hugging” thing again? you just wrap your arms around someone and.. that’s it? are you supposed to just stay like this? how long? - that’s pretty much half of his thoughts going through his head when he hugs you.

it takes him quite a long time until he “learns” it just “makes him feel better”. he understands (kinda) the idea of it, but deeper down, he’s still pretty puzzled.

In the early stages of hugging, Amaimon didn't realize how strong his hugs were - if he didn’t break any bone of yours, then it’s a miracle. As soon as he noticed you almost passing out, he stopped and the guilt of possibly causing you harm has kicked in, so he promised you to make it up the best way he can.

Amaimon doesn’t realize it - but as time passes he grew used to hugs! Especially greeting hugs, which at this point he doesn’t realize he gives - it’s become a habit of his.

not a fan of long hugs - to say it bluntly, he becomes bored if it lasts too long (unless there’s been a fight beforehand, in this case, he understands you want to regain the sense of security that physical body is able to give). he likes quick hugs instead, which he gives more often.

Amaimon’s hugs are pretty simple - he wraps his arms around your waist and that’s.. pretty much it. He might rub your back sometimes, but to be honest - he just likes the simplicity. Funnily enough, when Behemoth notices you hugging, he also wants to participate! Tiny demon bounces your way and while it’s near your leg, he starts clinging to it and nuzzling himself (Amaimon’s kinda >:((((((( when he sees Behemoth snuggling, but it’s his boyo so he forgives him).

However, Amai gets really mad when he sees you hugging someone else than him. Unless it’s a close friend or family member, he’s.. somewhat accepting this, but if it’s someone he doesn’t know - he’ll either try to fight them or take you bridal style in his arms and just go away.

He also gets awfully handsy, which he probably picked up from Mephisto. His one hand might slowly slide down to grope your ass cheeks; when you look at his face questionably, he’s just gonna place the other hand on your ass as his answer.

Astaroth:

his understanding is even worse than Amaimon’s, so he’s initially against it. he doesn’t understand the purpose of it and it's very hard to convince him otherwise, saying something along the lines of “if you need your “physical contact” we can fuck on the counter”.

continuously asking him would only make the situation worse, as he’d get annoyed more each second, eventually making him leave the house for a few days. one situation, however, changed his mind the most - he’s once lashed out at you, leaving you crying. he left nonetheless and waited a few days until he cooled off. feeling bad for his actions and regretting doing it for once, he came back, but instead of confronting you - he left a withering rose with a note.

he’s learned a little bit from that situation - seeing that you accept his quirks, he decided to try out some of your ideas - including hugging. and oh boy, how wrong he was.

he will NOT admit he likes hugs for his life; very “tsundere” approach to it, but you can catch his face being relaxed sometimes.

his favorite hug is.. hugging you from behind! whenever you’re cooking or being busy just in general, he loves surprising you with a hug, encircling his hands around your belly as you flinch slightly, not expecting him. as an apology, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

due to him being nasty, you gotta bear with his dirty-talking he’s “performing” every time he hugs you. he also WILL tease you by groping your chest with no shame, attempt to give you hickies, and after a while - move his hands dangerously near your chest.

#Ao no Exorcist #blue exorcist #rin okumura #Yukio Okumura #mephisto pheles #lucifer #amaimon #astaroth #Headcanon #Pure

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