#they had a lot of queer and trans friends too so i grew up knowing about everything

[pansyfemme]

thinking about an ask i got when i was 14 that has stuck with me forever because it was like. accusing me of lying about having bi4bi parents. why would that be anything even remotely interesting enough to lie about

#its cool and it made me rlly open to queerness at an early age bc even tho i didn't know my parents were bi- #anyone old enough to understand that they had lives before they got married and had kids would be able to read them pretty easily. #they had a lot of queer and trans friends too so i grew up knowing about everything #i was just a kid and didn't rlly.. think about the fact my parents had had other partners before eachother much and it never really totally #came up what the genders of those partners were. it wasn't a secret it just never rlly came up #my parents are now both of the mindset of the fact that they both still identify as bi but they don't feel the need to bring it up a lot #because theyve been married for 23 years. its not all that important anymore in their day to day lives

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

My IRL ex who lives abroad now is dating my online friend who also lives there and I am deceiving them, AITA?

All of us are Asian, 29. Fake names are used.

My ex (Fred) was my childhood best friend, we grew up together in the same conservative society, people expected to see us marry since we were kids, all that jazz. At 18, we both moved away and kept up LDR. Moving meant big changes of course, I was in a huge city and I had internet access for the first time. I became a BTS fan in 2013, I started creating and reading a lot. I joined tumblr, made friends from all over the world. I was being radicalized rapidly, and I figured out I was bi too. My world was suddenly a million times bigger.

He however, didn't change much. He was scientific minded unlike most people here and his friends were all STEM kids but they were still functionally right leaning. He was racist when it came to BTS or East Asians in general. He was ignorant and happy to ignore queer existence, he used to say things like queer people needed to be shown the right path. We were turning out to be quite the opposites. Eventually we broke up. He was heartbroken, he tried to drag me back in many times and I avoided him like plague. I managed to ditch him completely when we were about 23. He left for USA to study.

Around the same time I befriended one of my closest online friends, Daphne. We lived in the same state but she was always traveling so we never got to meet. We're both hellsite veterans and keep our identities under lock & key so we don't know our real names or exact place of work, but we know each other's deepest kinks and childhood traumas, and stories about our exes. We both had the same kind of interests, politics, and fandoms, we're both bisexual. I've also come out as a trans man a few years ago and I go by a masculine name online, can't transition IRL. Daphne's known me since my girl era. Daphne left for USA last year for her Masters.

Now the wild part, by some twist of fate, Daphne met Fred who's also working on his Masters in an adjacent field. It is by no means a niche subject and USA is the fourth largest country, they still found each other. He sang in our first language at some party, he's very hot, and... he's into BTS like her. Wild. So they're now dating.

They started following each other on twitter and he followed a bunch of her friends including Me! We have exchanged pleasantries and while on his account he has his real name and location, mine is a mixed bag account with my fake name and my (sfw) queer creations all over it.

I know who He is but he doesn't know who I am, he thinks I'm just one of Daphne's dudes, and Daphne doesn't know that she's dating my ex who she had promised to drop into the Challenger's Deep (joke). My reasoning for hiding the truth is-- It's still not safe for me to be out IRL and he can mess it up. I remember his bigotry, I hate him, I have every right to avoid him and here that means not revealing my identity. But it's been years so maybe he has changed, and Daphne is my friend. So, I feel like a massive ahole for not telling her at least. At the same time she really did hate my racist homophobic right leaning ex a lot, so knowing the truth will make things awkward and I don't want to lose my friend.

So, there you have it. AITA?

BTW, no I'm not into BTS ships or reader insert fantasies, that's not what I create. I know someone would ask about it so there. I'm also Not attracted to Daphne, if I was I'd have asked her out straight away, I don't play around about my crushes.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[nekropsii]

Ask Game Speed Round!!

[For the Unpopular Opinion Ask Game!!]

These are all a bunch of smaller ones I thought would be too cumbersome and spammy to post on their own... Enjoy!!

Content Warning: Long.

While I do really like Dave's character as it exists in the comic- no clue what version of Dave most of the fandom is talking about, but I don't know him- I kind of like the themes in Davesprite's character more than I do Dave's. It's another Hal situation.

Dave's character tackled a lot of things very personally relatable to me in ways I'd never seen illustrated before, but Davesprite is more interesting to think about, and seems a little more fun to write. Dave was great representation for me, as someone who grew up in a very bad home, but Davesprite just has that extra oomph with his talk of humanity and individuality. Really like that guy.

---

@lupinecalibrator

This may come across as crass, or stepping out of my own lane, but I don't think giving them either multiple sets of pronouns, neopronouns, or both actually rids them of the bigotry in their characters. Lipstick on a pig situation. It just seems like a lazy, incurious fix. Yes, trans headcanons are great, but more and more often I see people use it as a cure-all to the issues a character has, either in a Doylist or Watsonian way. Queer friendliness does not eliminate racism. If a character is a bigoted caricature of a specific group of people, then slapping on a leftist layer of paint by saying "actually they're a minority icon in this other way" doesn't actually... Get rid of the problem. It's just kind of... Tone deaf.

We see this often with Transmisogynistic Caricatures getting claimed as Gay Icons, and people just saying that because they've just claimed them as a campy gay queen, the transmisogyny has been nullified- you can't talk about it anymore, they're the real good leftist in the room, you're a killjoy, and they've defeated bigotry. Not how it works.

---

Kind of tired of how some act like her only character traits are Silly Ditzy Furry Girl. Jade is an incredibly, incredibly intelligent young girl, an excellent marksman, and so, so deeply lonely. We need to talk about Jade's chronic loneliness more.

Also, I think she's some kind of Psychotic. One of the flavors. It just feels right to me. It feels canon-adjacent. Or, at least, a textually valid way to read her character. I have a whole post about it somewhere. Mituna and Jade shaking hands on the Psychosis.

---

Taking this opportunity to defend Aranea. Some people really need to stop acting like she's worse than Vriska. We all know what Aranea did was justified. Maybe not correct, but justified. And fucking awesome to watch.

Like, look. She spent an unfathomable amount of years being shot down and ignored and belittled by people who were supposed to be her friends... Aranea had to literally pay Meenah, her own best friend, to listen to her infodump, and even then Meenah couldn't afford to give her own best friend enough respect to just listen to her talk about something she's passionate about for 5 minutes.

I need you to think to yourself, genuinely. If you spent thousands- and I mean thousands upon thousands- of years getting ignored and walked on by everyone around you, even your own friends... If you spent thousands upon thousands of years getting called boring and a doormat to your face by even your own friends... Wouldn't you go crazy, too? Wouldn't you snap? Wouldn't you want to do something drastic just to get people to look at you? Just to be seen as something other than weak and boring? Just to be seen as worth even an iota of interest, a shred of someone's time? Wouldn't you? Because I think any normal person wouldn't take thousands upon thousands of years. I don't think you would last a decade. I wouldn't either, and I'm a pretty patient person.

Y'all are just jealous you can't play billiards with planets using your mind when you're mad. That shit was so awesome.

---

@searedtroutpeacharugula

This is not an Unpopular Opinion, or even an Opinion, I'm just pointing this out. Do you ever think about the fact that we hardly got any conversations between Rose and Jade? I do. This haunts me. This fucks me up so bad. We get plenty between John and Dave, and Dave and Jade, and Dave and Rose, and Rose and John, and Jade and John... But hardly anything between Rose and Jade!! This is so fucked up. We were robbed. I need to watch them hang out.

---

Okay, this is less of an Unpopular Opinion, and more of an Unpopular Fact, but... Mituna doesn't just throw slurs at people. That's one of the things people jump to when they're talking about Defanging Mituna- they always say something about how he "calls people slurs every two seconds". He literally doesn't. That is legitimately not a thing he does. If you heard that before and believed it, you were literally lied to. That is straight up demonstrably not true.

Like, if you're trying to think of something Mituna does every two seconds unprompted, it's either sex jokes or apologizing. Slurs aren't a thing he just slings around casually. He said a grand total of one slur... To Meenah... And it's a fake troll slur. And then we get it defined to us... Aaaand it's the troll equivalent to "Cracker". That's it. That's the crime he's committed- calling someone a word that is immediately after defined to us as "Someone who is at the top of and benefits from the furthering of the oppressive Fuchsia-Down power structure, and the Lowbloods that help enforce it." That's the slur he used. That's what made people start declaring that "he would totally say the N Word" with full and complete confidence. Absolutely ridiculous. He's called no one else any kind of genuine slur. He just called Meenah a Wader once, and then she and Kankri got upset about it, because they are both, by definition, Waders.

---

Leijon Hot Take Party Pack: If you think Nepeta shipping her friends together is fine, or even adorable, but then sneer at or get grossed out by Meulin doing the same thing, you're a hypocrite. I don't care if you say "Meulin's writing Friend Fic, though, that's weird!!" the problem with Shipping Your Friends and Writing Romantic Fanfiction Of Your Friends is at the same root.

The problem with these things isn't the presence of writing, it's the presence of, you know, shipping your friends? If you're fine with Nepeta doing it, you've gotta be fine with Meulin doing it. Be fine with both or neither. It's the same damn thing. I'm pretty sure both friend groups are fine with it, too, so it's not like this is a boundaries issue or anything. Both or neither. Pick one.

---

Observation: I do think it's cool how Jane and Jake are related and have similarly opposing relationships with their gender. Jake's oft presented with Feminine themes and imagery, and Jane with Masculine themes and imagery. Very cool. Wish more people made that correlation.

---

Okay, that's all for now!! Thank you for reading, if you did. Have a nice rest of your day. :)

#homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck analysis #alpha trolls #beforan trolls #dancestors #beta kids #beta trolls #alpha kids #dave strider #davesprite #gamzee makara #kurloz makara #jade harley #aranea serket #rose lalonde #mituna captor #nepeta leijon #meulin leijon #jane crocker #im not pdf tagging all that. #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms

[our-aroace-experience]

ok so here's my ace/arospec story

ace:

i learned about being ace

oh i don't know

12 years old maybe

i searched it up after reading about it online

"aroace definition"

it went something like

"being both aromantic and asexual"

i searched up

"aromantic"

"asexual"

at first i thought it was a bit strange

i hadn't learned yet

to distinguish

between romantic attraction and sexual attraction

because i didn't know

people actually wanted sex

people actually saw someone and went

"wow"

"i want to fuck them"

i had a crush on a childhood friend of mine

at the time

(a guy. i am a girl.)

i'd always assumed i was cishet

grew up in a conservative christian household

slightly offtopic but honestly my parents were great

not stereotypical conservative christians

both allies

they had friends who were trans and gay

i'd checked out queer media from the library

and they were fine with it

anyway

back to the story

so since i had a crush on the opposite gender

i assumed ofc

i was cishet

well ofc i wasn't into sex, i was just a kid

but at age 13

almost 14

i was alone

in a hotel room, no parents, on instagram

that's the only time i could get that

late night phone time

when i didn't have parents around

i found @i.put.the.ace.in.disgrace on instagram

scrolled through every fucking post

on their account

and on the #asexual tag

i related to those posts

like

a lot

a suspicious amount for someone supposedly allo

even though i was just a kid

yeah maybe i'd grow into it

maybe i'd feel attraction one day

but not now

and who the hell was going to tell me

what i could or couldn't identify as

so i tried out the ace label

spent hours and hours

wondering if it was right

if i was really ace

if i wasn't too young

but going back to being allo felt wrong

so i decided to keep the label

the first person i came out to

was an online friend

they were so amazing and supportive of it

i love them so much for that

they said i'd been on their gaydar for a while

(a message i still think about

when wondering if i'm really ace)

felt sick the next day

i'd always been an ally

supported my queer friends

arospec aspec trans homosexual i supported them all

but it made me sick

to think about me

myself

being queer

it was sort of rough

but i got through it

later

came out to my friend and her mom

they were cool about it

i knew i'd be safe

they weren't ecstatic or super happy

but they accepted me

"cool"

that's what they said i remember it

i was a hot mess that day too

stuttered over all my words when trying to come out

and they still accepted me

i love them

later

i decided to hint at my identity to my mom

talked about not liking sex

i checked out a few ace books

from the library

my mom took me aside

i don't remember her exact words

it went something like

"it's natural to be curious

but you can't be ace at 14

you're not trying to be

are you?"

ofc

i managed to convince her i was allo

had to be more careful then

arospec:

i'd only had one crush.

one crush who i'd liked as a friend first.

you see where this is going, don't you?

well

i didn't

i'd heard that aces had not very many crushes

so i assumed i was just Really Really Asexual

and i couldn't be aro hahahaha

i'd been in love before!

aros cannot be in love!

oh by golly i was wrong

i started questioning

(only one crush?

my friends are all over their crushes

plural

and i've only had one??

maybe i'm not as allo as i thought)

i debated over gray-aro and demi-aro

picked demi

it described my experience more accurately

came out to aforementioned friend

then aforementioned online friend

they were chill about it

(fucking love them)

then i 3d printed a black ring

and a white ring

ace

and aro

and this is maybe the best part of the whole experience

i had friends who were stereotypical conservative christian

queerphobic

they complimented my aro and ace rings

and so did my mom

and that made me really happy for some reason

shit that was a long ask im sorry

thank you for sharing! i hope your mum comes around to you being aroace one day

also side note: this reads like a poem it’s so well written!

#our aroace experience #asexual #aromantic #aroace #ace pride #aro pride #ace #aro #arospec #demiromantic #aroace joy! #aroace asks

[carlyraejepsans]

So I'm about to ask something that might be personal ? And it deals with some personal baggage that you as someone on the internet might not be interested in hearing about ^^' so you might not want to talk about it as is your right obv !! So uh feel free to tell me to fuck off, but, how did you know you weren't cis?

Ya see, I've been questioning my gender for a while now, and I can't really come up with an answer. I'm a lesbian, that's a pretty big part of my identity, I'm not overly feminine but not masc either, when people refer to me as female I feel super uncomfortable, but I ain't too bothered by some of my body parts, ive daydreamed about switching to they/them pronouns online or masculine pronouns in my native language.... But all of that wouldn't fit with what people might expect of me ? And I'm scared if I actually went through those changes people might think I'm performing a form of queerness I shouldn't be privy to. And the worst part about this is, most of my friends are queer, non binary, trans... Wouldn't they think I'm trying to copy them ? Even though ive had those thoughts long before we met ?

Kinda feel like I'm stuck, and I don't know how to be myself, because myself might not align with how i act or how i seem to be on the outside. idk if you feel the same, but it's especially shitty living in a country with a heavily gendered language you can't escape adjectives forever lmaooo

listen to me. i am holding your face in my hands. nothing and i mean nothing you decide in regards to your gender and/or sexuality will ever be anyone's business but your own. the idea that you can "appropriate" someone else's experience with queerness is a gross bastardization of the discussion on CULTURAL appropriation, which is a false analogy and can devolve into gender essentialism fast.

you have no idea how many trans people (gay people too, but especially trans people) locked themselves in the closet because of that same feeling. of "not beeing privy to those experiences", especially for trans women. i promise, as long as you stop at establishing what a certain label means TO YOU and don't try to decide what it means for other people, then you will never hurt anyone. anyone who says otherwise is a cop.

there are trans men out there who lived as cis lesbians for a very long time, and because that was such a big part of their life, they still think of themselves as such, at least in part. for some it's out of kinship. for some it's out of genuine attachment to the word. same thing with gay men who grew on to become trans women. and trans people in general who still carry their younger selves right by their heart. genderqueers who ended up being cis after all, but who still feel like that period of exploration was crucial in shaping their identity. butch and femme alone, while particularly dear as lesbian identities, encompass all genders and sexualities. wanna know something funny? i throw terms around a lot in english, but if you asked me in italian what my gender identity is, i would say "bisexual". because almost every person in my life who's ever called me bisexual actually meant "nonbinary", or "whatever weird thing those transgendereds got going on lately" (some of them probably meant intersex as well, which just for the record i am not. as far as i know, at least). is it an outdated definition? sure. but unlike the literal italian word for nonbinary, bisexual is actually a neutral noun lol. and after all, my experience with gender does inform my sexuality, just as my sexuality informs my experience with gender. it's not wrong, technically. but if someone somehow assumes I'm a lesbian (which happens a lot lol) i don't usually correct them i just... go with it too, y'know?

anyway, what it sounds like to me is that you're obviously going through a period of questioning your gender and or presentation, which you took notice of, but you also feel some kind of peer pressure or societal expectation from other queer people that is denying you a safe, healthy form of self expression in this new period of your life that you obviously wish for yourself. please, try not to pay it too much mind. try out whatever label or description calls to you. change it without notice if you find something better. and if anyone gives you trouble for it, eat them. good luck buddy.

#answered asks

[cryptidfuckery]

Your old social media was literally my first ever introduction to anyone identifying beyond the gender binary. In 2014, I was watching youtube videos in the small UK city I grew up in, and your videos were recommended. And I felt instant recognition when you talked about gender things, because I'm non-binary and I'd never heard of anyone identifying or expressing themselves that way when I was younger. You were the LGBT+ elder that I really appreciated advice from. (Even if you are only a few years older than me, you seemed much wiser). So I just wanted to say thank you for being your out and authentic self for so many years. Wishing you a good week. P.S. if you like cute animals, I highly recommend looking up photos of bog turtles, they definitely made my week better.

I'm really, really glad that I was able to help you!!

This definitely isn't the first time I've heard this. Notably, when I was at an anime convention years ago during that time, I had someone approach me and say essentially the same thing and also cry. Wonderful experience, also a fucking wild experience!!

It's one of the things I'm proudest of my younger self for. I was lucky enough to learn through my close friends at the time, but I definitely saw that there just. Wasn't enough information readily available for the people who might be interested. So I dug my heels in and allowed myself to be a resource, because it was important. Most of what I was doing was regurgitating what I was learning from my own elders and community, but it was important for people to have a face to the idea. Someone they could talk to and be validated by.

That was either around or over 10 years ago now. I've identified as genderqueer for over 10 years. I sometimes think about an the people who might have a similar time line just for the sake that I talked about it openly.

That time also helped me realize that I didn't want to go into activism full time. I love it, its important, but it made me realize that it would take too much out of me. Maybe I was able to handle it better because I was still being supported by family, and my only obligation (that I shirked a hell of a lot of) was highschool.

That doesn't mean I Completely stopped though. I'm one of those people you can make the joke "they'll trans your gender." I have a joke that the only people who don't end up more trans by the end of dating me are Very cis men. (I have a theory that the people who do end up "more trans" are attracted to the androgy for a reason, whether they realize or not).

I like to think it's because I know what questions to ask, not to push too hard, but more than anything, let them describe how they're feeling about their gender/sexuality with no judgements. Letting them explore it in a safe space. So my activism kind of happens there.

But more than that, I'm a hairdresser that caters toward queer/trans/gay people. That's where I feel I actually do my activism.

And I'll be real with you, I'm not out to all my clients. I work in a mixed bag neighborhood (old conservatives, young liberals, EVERYTHING inbetween) so half of that is keeping myself safe. The other half is not wanting to put extra work on myself trying to fight to explain my identify to someone who 1) doesn't actually care and 2) most likely won't actually hear a thing i say. I talk to the clients that bring it up, and come out to them if they ask. I'm not necessarily tight lipped about my queerness, but like all of us, at know how to illude without specifics. I let my clients decide their comfort level.

But my TRANS CLIENTS. They are SO important to me. I'm able to surround myself with the people I love, who I can crack a gender joke at and know I'll get a laugh. People I can really talk to about dysphoria, about hormones, about surgeries, about relationships, about sex, about family, about friends, about life in a way I don't get to with my other clients.

Even more important than that, I can make a huge step in their transition that much easier. I had a good amount of freshly cracked eggs find me after quarantine/the pandemic (it's not over). As we all know, it was a huge self reflection time. But I got to be there to be the first to validate their gender through their hair. That in itself can be an extremely nerve wracking process. My trans clients coming to me have allowed me to figure out the best way to naviagte the situation in a way where they feel comfortable and validated. It means the world to me. Seriously.

This is where I feel I actually do my activism. It's not explaining what gender is, it's not explaining pronouns. It's getting to assure someone they're on the right path. That what they're doing is good, and it's happy, and there's someone who's proud of them for going through the hard, hard process. I have people I've now been seeing for years who I've gotten to support through hormone changes, through identity changes, through relationship changes.

But one of the things I really try to stress is that being trans, while it absolutely has it's difficulty, it's supposed to be joyous. It's supposed to be the joy of being who you feel you really are. The joy of being loved for who you are. The joy of loving as you are. The joy of being loved by your community. The joy of loving life. Being trans is the joy of love, and the constant readmission that you love yourself more than anyone else can take away.

I cried a little bit writing that ngl.

Last thing I wanna say is that if I did happen to touch your life in a way that helped you become more fully realized, pass on the favor. The next time you have a friend or loved one you're getting the signals from, ask the questions. Be patient with them. Let them change their answers. Nudge but don't shove. Crack a joke. Meet them where they are.

Do it with love.

#making my OWN DAMN SELF cry before work #this stuff is still. really important to me #this got really long but if you've been here for a while you know me. this shit gets long

[drdemonprince]

History anon here with appreciation and a couple clarifications:

The worst thing *I* could be was a trans man, not the worst thing *anyone in the world* could be. I realize I didn't write this super clearly, so that's on me, but I was talking about the worst felt sense of identity I specifically could have. Like, being a murderer would be worse, but you don't come to be a murderer by keeping yourself up at night, wondering whether it best describes who you are. I thought I could force myself to hold a different identity, one that wouldn't be betraying the feminist values I was surrounded by and looked up to.

I didn't say anything about how my experience compares to trans women, though for the record, they were also treated terribly in the spaces that hated me, and I also stood up for and worked with them. Most of my academic scholarship has been focused on trans men because that's the area where I'm most passionate and qualified, but that's my personal work right now, not some sideways way of putting others down.

I didn't know you'd been hanging out in trans masc spaces in the early 2000s. High five for guys who survived those days.

I don't use Tumblr, so I don't have an @ to give you. This account I'm posting from? It's technically a work account I set up for a job almost a decade ago that decided it didn't want the page after all, so it's still linked to my email. There's no other way for me to reliably contact you that I know of, but if you think of something, I'm totally open.

Hey there, thanks for the clarifications, and sorry to have mischaracterized what you were aiming to convey in your first message. You have a lot of experiences and knowledge that I'd love to learn from more to the extent you are fine with sharing.

I have a friend who grew up in the SF Bay area in the early 2000s and was a trans guy then, and from them I've gathered little threads here and there regarding how trans men were seen and treated at the time (all the trans guys were expected to be bottoms, not just for the reasons that's such a Thing today, but also because in feminist spaces it was seen as the appropriate position for a trans guy to be relative to a cis woman, within the community hierarchy)... there are certainly big elements of the scene and regional differences that I know next to nothing about, when it comes to trans guys experiences at the time. I think the Midwest queer/feminist scene was probably very different in a lot of ways. It certainly was very sex negative. I'd be curious to hear a lot more about the ambassador program pushing for trans male inclusion at the bathhouses that you mentioned, and more about where you're from in general.

For all that I challenge contemporary complaining about "trans male invisibility," it really is true that gay trans men were completely excluded from the communities I was around back then, and I didn't really feel that we could exist (though I had known some bi trans guys at that time). That certainly kept me from transitioning for far longer than I otherwise would have. And I feel like I have witnessed the canonization of Lou Sullivan happening in real time here on Tumblr... even more recently than much of the advocacy that you shared about. He just was not on my radar or someone that anyone in my circles was talking about until a few years ago. But I guess it's not surprising that radfems who considered gay men to be privileged perverts weren't speaking about him. Man Columbus Ohio sucked dick

I'm not sure how best for us to get in touch, then. My twitter DMs are open too. I keep most of the rest of mine shut for lots of reasons. Funny that your account is a brand account on here...are you the Dennys tumblr account

[light-lanterne]

ur mexican right? do u have an opinion on argyle's portrayal in the show?

hello ! you're unfortunately asking the wrong person, friend :( i could talk to you all you want about how unfair it is that argyle is given a grand total of 0% of backstory (he doesn't even have a last name), or how he's decidedly playing a stereotype (with the slight subversion of him being actually very smart emotionally and when it comes to finding solutions to their problems, but that gets treated as a joke nonetheless), or how he's treated more as a plot device than anything (the duffs needed a way to get the byers + mike out of california).

but that's as far as my insight goes :(

i do not live in the us. i was born and raised in mexico and have lived here my whole life and thus, my experience is inherently different from that of the people who lived in the us in the 80s (like argyle) and even today. i have no context of what it's like to live as a latin american individual in a country that inherently assumes you're there illegally. i do not know the mockery that would come from having a heavy accent or slipping into spanish terms and slang from time to time. i do not know what it's like to have others immediately assume you fit into the stereotypes argyle showcases. my experience with all of these factors is second handed and as such, i can't offer anything to the conversation that others haven't pointed out already (other than maybe offering a reminder that these are the things argyle would be going through in the background).

not only that, but i don't even look like argyle in the slightest so i can't relate to that either. i've been mocked, bullied and harassed my whole life for a variety of reasons (speech impediment, hearing impairment, queer, trans,,,) but never because of the colour of my skin; never for having specific facial features attributed to latin american people (even if my heritage is not too different from that of your average mexican). other than some random girl who used to call me a vampire in high school (which i obviously took as a compliment because vampires are cool), no one has really ever had anything to say about my appearance and while racism / xenophobia is not just about looks, it's the first thing icky people notice and focus on and, in my case, not something they would initially pick up on.

now, my brother does look a lot like argyle. he has a similar nose and eyes and his skin colour is almost the same (if not a shade or two darker) so maybe he'd have something to say about seeing himself represented on screen in such poor quality. but a) he doesn't watch stranger things so he's got nothing to say about any of that, and b) he's the type to not mind stereotypes or jokes made at our expense.

beyond a slight eyeroll at silly, exaggerated portrayals, he (and most of the people in my city, so it's almost a cultural thing) really has nothing to say about seeing aforementioned stereotypes on screen.

so uh, yeah. nothing to add to the conversation beyond a reminder to listen to people who can actually relate to argyle's experience (whatever it is, because we didn't see any of it x.x) because of his features and his experience living in the us as a latin american individual.

the one thing i can say that we can all agree on is that the duffs don't know how to write bipoc characters, particularly black people (who have onscreen been subjected to implicit and explicit racism and violence and gotten nothing as a result, not even acknowledgement let alone some form of catharsis or justice -_- ), and that argyle was an afterthought brought only into the show to have some comedic relief, move forward a few plot points, and pay homage to whatever 80s californian films the duffs grew up watching >.<

(which again, anyone could tell you so this whole word salad is technically for naught u.u figured i owed you a nuanced response, though, so here it is)

anyway, apologies that my answer is lackluster and doesn't bring up anything of substance to the current debates people are having about the show :( hope you have a great day or night ~

#💕 #💡 #🧸 #argyle

[ciphernull]

From 25 character asks (I'm going to be so greedy I am. maybe slightly sorry adsfnln I'm in love with a lot of ur beans);; 11, 13, & 22 for Alesko ;; 4, 7, and 11 for Vex ;; and 15 & 24 for Heskan?

[25 Character Questions for the Writer]

Alesko

Who are your character’s most important people?

Presently (aka just post SoR) his two most important people are Lana and Theron. He and Lana have a great deal of mutual respect and shared interest, to the point of him considering her a genuine friend, which is quite rare considering his usual relations to Sith. And for Theron… well, there's been some rough spots between them, but ultimately, they've saved each other's lives more than once. Alesko is slowly coming to trust and open up to him more, though hasn't missed an opportunity to drive the handsome SIS agent up the wall. Or against it, for that matter.

Who had the most positive impact on your character’s life?

This question has had me scratching my head, and I don't really know why, but I want to say Keeper/the Minister? Obviously there's a lot to unpack there, and I don't feel I can do it justice in short form, but most of his core values as an agent of the Empire can be traced back to Keeper's influence. (kinda copped out but i promise i WILL write more on this someday)

What is your character most afraid of?

Alesko's biggest fear is that he hasn't fully overcome his programming. That somewhere in his brain there's still a switch, waiting to be flipped. That he could never truly escape his cage. That no matter how hard he fought, or how far he went, it was always going to end where it began--alone, in the cold and dark.

Vex

What does your character hate the most?

Sith. Jedi. Politicians. Mandalorians. The list goes on. Sanctimonious self-important hypocrites parading their screwed up ideas of justice around under the guise of some greater cause. Really, he's just tired of war. And you know? Maybe he's a part of the problem, too, but at least he's honest about it.

What does your character miss most from their childhood?

Vex grew up on a farm on Dantooine, which was about as quiet and dull as it gets. Back then, they hated it and wanted nothing more than to leave, but now that he's a bit older and the wanderlust has settled, he occasionally finds himself missing the peaceful life. I'm gonna say they miss their family's old kath hound the most.

Who are your character’s most important people?

I feel like I emphasized this enough already in the last post, but their crew means the world to them. Especially Mako, she's practically his sister, and one of the few people he would trust with his life.

Heskan

Who does your character look up to and who do they despise?

This is again very WIP and kinda predictable, but I think Heskan would most look up to his master, a currently unnamed Mirialan woman. As it's traditional for Mirialan Jedi to take on their own kind as padawans when possible, she's been his main source of guidance throughout his early life. I still need to develop more about her, but I know that she's trans and absolutely has those 'older queer mentor figure' vibes.

As for despise… I have no idea. Obviously there's the whole Jedi/Sith business, but the word 'despise' feels more personal than that. No one has really emerged yet in the story that would spark that level of anger or resentment for Heskan, not enough to make the normally steadfast guardian waver. I expect this to change, but for now, I don't really have an answer.

What do they like about their appearance?

Heskan's not heavily concerned with his looks, but he is quite proud of his physique! He enjoys being active and feeling strong, and having that reflect in his appearance, especially his arms and chest (also for transgender reasons). Feature-wise, he would say he has a decent nose, nice lips, and a good smile. His hair is more of a mixed bag, because while he likes the style, he finds it a bit troublesome to maintain the locks on his own, without the expertise and extra hands of his master.

#oc asks #swtor #agent alesko #vex korva #heskan voh #i really got to think for some of these n it was great #tysm for the questions <3

[henrioo]

HEADCANNON — Do you see Killer as an TransMasc dude?

I mean… he may or may not have top surgery scars, which I’ll explain later, but what he actuall was before the pre-timeskip?

He was a man, who definitely was on T-shots not even half a year. Having a binder crushing his chest, moving fast — but hardly breathing, no wonder why his voice was rather deep. He tried to hide the fact that he hardly got any air during the fights or such.

The slimness during the Sabaody Arc, no facial hair, fast movements… that’s the second when my brain automatically shoved the thought of him being a part of the LGBTQ. Just look at this dude two years later:

He grew out his thick hair, took care of it. Jaw and chin covered in his golden goatee, while his body grew at least thrice as wide as two years before. Man… I know for sure that during those years he was high on his Testosterone level.

But the best part comes along with the explanation of the top surgery marks he might hide underneath his t-shirt. I believe that during the long time of waiting until the Kid Pirates come back to screen, Killer and his crew recently has visited the Revolutionary Army on their way to Wano.

And who’s the most queer diva in there? Of course it’s them — Ivankov.

The one who actually said: “Boy, you seem uncomfortable while moving. Do you perhaps need some help with gender dysphoria, hun’?”

Then the change happened, the scars lasted, but the short and painful process of his body turning fully male was worth it. Feeling like himself encouraged him to train more and gain weight, muscles, and all possible benefits.

So… if you ever read it, I really want to know your opinion about this. It’s not common to see a male-blog only, which I appreciate truly.

— Cheers, Musashi.

Okay I love this ask and I love you now and we two gonna be best friends okay?

And yes now I'm a only male blog and I genuinely love talking with more male authors we need to have a strong community

So here all my opinion about this

Like Sanji is a gay coded character for me, Killer is also one, and in the two examples I'm sure Oda didn't do it on purpose but he did a pretty good job

For me Killer has a lot of coded trans signals that make me feel he genuinely would be a perfect trans character, so here what I feel more

First his name, even one piece has some "weird" names, Killer looks more a name that someone would give to himself, not a weird normal name in one piece that someone would be born with

Since we don't know too much about the childhood of the kid pirates, it is hard to be sure, but I think it is obvious that killer chose his own name. If it is for the reason he is trans or not doesn't really matter, everyone can think whatever they want

Also the mask, we know that killer is far from being ugly but he always had the mask after he grew up a little, and I think that was pure insecure about his face. I think in the start before the T and those things people didn't take him seriously because his face wasn't really masculine or scary, and to try fight against that he started using the mask, also because that would help him having a more strong voice, since the mask would muffle his voice

Kid protection, I think is more than perfect their bond, and is obviously that Killer trusts in Kid his own life and soul. And for me this is the perfect way to show that Kid is a true ally to his friends transition, when they meet again in the prison he even asks to killer "where are your mask?" Because he knows his friend would never be without that

Not only that, he genuinely killed everyone that laughed about Killer no matter why they are laughing, that for me is perfect to show how Kid grows up seeing Killer suffering from intolerant people and becomes aggressive in a way to protect him

But I'm not sure about Iva, I don't think the Revolutionary Army would risk being close to Kid because he had one of the worst reputations between the pirates. And even if they would have a change the Kid owes a favor to them I don't think it would be a good choice, because they couldn't know if Kid would be pacific enough or not

And what we know for now is that the Revolutionary Army don't really have bonds with pirates exactly because they are impressive and dangerous

So I think that Killer got such a big man because of... Drugs

Yeah no joking

The crew would definitely get T enough for Killer besides I think they would have this in a constant way, what can explain why he takes two years to be that big

But I also think he used some anabolic steroids, or anything like that but in the one piece universe. I don't think they would be really hard to get and they probably are not safe, but they probably work better than the ones we have in the real world.

So if I could say the reason why killer got big is this one, Kid probably got some suspicious drugs and Killer used and there we are. We already know those dudes don't give a shit about risking their life and they are like "worthy to try"

Also I can see Law helping Killer with some surgery, but then Kid finds out that Law is also a captain and he gets mad because they get help from an enemy, and he is not blaming Killer but blaming Law and Law is just "wtf I literally help you?"

But yeah

Thanks for that, I love having someone to talk about this hahahha

#henri talk

[fierceawakening]

2/? It seems like most of the female people I know these days are nonbinary; if engaging with them the way they prefer stopped taking mental effort to walk on eggshells that would be better for everyone. As it is, I just... I feel like I'm staring at the naked Emperor, and if I breathe one word of his nakedness in the wrong situation I'll get excommunicated from the "queer" community. And when I do manage to find someone to talk to in private, they either agree that yes [CONT'D]

That's fair! It took me a long time to figure out what I thought nonbinary was, and longer than that to consider whether applying it to me made sense. I can tell you what this process is/was like for me, if it's helpful.

I knew since I was very young that I was Different from Other Girls. I had a similar body (albeit a disabled one), and my understanding was that people with that body are called "girls" and referred to with "she," so I never really went through a period of thinking these didn't apply to me.

I also did not go through thinking I was a boy.

What I did go through? Was wondering a lot of the time if I "should've been" or "was supposed to be" a boy.

I tried to talk myself out of these feelings, as adults of both genders I knew about kept telling me "girls can do anything."

But the one thing they DIDN'T seem to consider a part of "anything" was "have penetrative sex as the top," and they certainly didn't explain to me that there are ways "Female" "shes" can do this, or that some people like it.

So I resigned myself to the idea that I was a girl, that there's no "should have been" it made any sense to feel, and that it just meant that where most people grew up to want to have sex, I would grow up to NOT want to have sex, because I'd always have to do it wrong.

That, or I would reach this "puberty" thing people kept talking about, and everything I was wondering about would magically invert and I'd become Correct and stop asking myself this stuff.

Now it could have been I was just a butch lesbian, but again... I didn't have context for what that was! I knew, vaguely, that some girls date girls and some boys date boys and it's less common but valid, and I did kind of wonder if that would make it better, and told a few people I thought I'd be a lesbian, as it was the only thing I could make parse at all.

When it became clear in my adolescence that I crushed hard on girls but ALSO (a bit less intensely but it was definitely there too) on boys, this was a bit of a scary revelation. And do what with them? How? I wanted SOMETHING, but I couldn't tell what that was unless, again, I imagined myself in a male body, whether topping a female or a male or some imaginary combination. (Yes, please.)

I knew "FTM transsexuals" existed, but I didn't know that I was one of those. I talked to them, and made friends with many, and am still glad to be friends with many (hi guys, love you!) but... they seemed to really like not just the idea of their bodies becoming less alien to them, but the idea of BEING BOYS. Which seemed to me like, okay, I'd have the right body for sex and that would be lovely, but then the rest of the time I'd have a body that wasn't at all like a girl, when "girl" was what I was... mostly... except for this... THING.... oh god I'm so weird, I'm just a freak.

Fast forward to college. I took a gender studies course, trying to figure out what the fuck was up with me (and made the disastrous assumption "gender therapy" meant you tell a mental health professional that you suspect you might be trans, and they gently and without judgment talked you through what your life might be like if you transitioned vs if you didn't, and helped you to come to an authentic decision and then supported you in it. All I got was "do you hate your period? No? Then you're cis. Bye.")

A really fucked up thing happened. I now think of it as, well, really fucked up. But there was a section in our textbook talking about sex differences and what they were, and why they're not the same thing as gender differences, and in it was a photo of the naked body of a person with CAH--a masculinized female body, including bottom growth.

I now feel very weird I ever saw that, and apologize profusely to whoever that was that someone took photos of her(?) body.

But I had a lightbulb moment. My mind went, "if that was my body, I wouldn't feel weird any more."

Which led me to: okay, I DO have sex dysphoria. I wasn't making that up or parroting words I'd heard trans guys say or something. But I didn't have it quite in the way that they had it. I had it in a way that felt like "I belong somewhere in the middle. I'd be happiest like that, but am afraid I'd be bashed if I was like that and openly so."

Why do I have this feeling? I do not know. I just know that when I pretend it isn't there because it's weird and silly, it doesn't go away. I just feel like the same person I was a moment ago, just now I'm weird and silly.

Some butches seem to describe similar feelings. I lurked in those communities a lot and still do sometimes. But I wasn't a lesbian, I was bisexual. People seemed to be very weird about caring a lot about that bit, so I didn't dare delurk.

But it did seem to me that the gay community was actually *much* more about people who felt weird in their bodies or gender role than "gay people just like people with the same body" described.

Now do I know for sure testosterone would help? No, as I haven't tried it--but I do know that the feeling I am calling dysphoria intensifies horribly if I take any birth control pill stronger than the weakest on the market, which seems to confirm to me that there's a level of estrogen that feels wrong, and leads me to want to find out if a higher level of testosterone would feel "right."

(If it didn't? I'd toss it.)

What frightened me all my life was that people never seemed to talk much about in-between feelings. if you confessed to them you were proving you were cis. and if they were sexual? Hoo boy, you're just messed up.

Now people talk about feeling like being in the middle much more openly, and they call that non-binary. So... why not use that word? Especially when there isn't this weird "did you ever enjoy sexual contact with someone who was male? Or were you going through fundamentally unpleasant motions in every way all the time?"

Which I can't answer as "because I felt uncomfortable in my body and role, it was all completely awful." I did feel off and weird, but I didn't completely lack enjoyment, and I certainly enjoyed seeing my partner's pleasure and knowing that being with me caused that.

So there you go.

#conversations with gendercrits

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Ooh, I got one. AITA for telling me sick, elderly dad "no" when he asked if I'd come help around the house?

So I think I know the answer to this already, but I'm curious about other people's opinions…. and I want to rant.

My dad and I (36, trans masc but I only figured that out about 5 years ago) have been butting heads for a while. Family situation is: I had cool hippy liberal parents but things went downhill with various addictions and depression. I lived with them until I was 30 (with me paying the bills for several years) and then finally moved out after I realized how unhealthy it was for me to be there.

Moving out coincided with me figuring out some things about myself, mainly the trans thing, probably because I felt more comfortable/safe and could focus on things other than that shitty living situation.

Another thing I'd finally realized, shortly before I moved out, was how messed up my relationship with my dad had been. Basically, I grew up with him doing this thing where he'd tell me I couldn't trust any of my friends (the implication being I could only trust him), or he'd tell me how smart I was because I saw things his way and talk about how people we knew were dumb because they didn't. He also taught me that I shouldn't show or admit to mental illness or neurodivergence because people (even my friends) would take advantage of me.

Once I'd gone, he repeatedly asking me to come visit, sending me messages about how sad he was and how much he missed me. I did visit a few times, but just being back in that house makes me feel real uncomfy.

At some point I share with him my observations about our past and how it negatively effected me. His response… is to say he doesn't think that's how it went. I keep trying to explain, asking him to acknowledge that these things did happen between us and, whether he meant it to or not, it did mess me up. He keeps dismissing it or redirecting the blame onto my mom or his shitty dad, or suggesting that my friends (who I'm living with now) have turned me against him.

But he also keeps pestering me to visit more, guilt-tripping me with how sad my old dog, Cavall, is after each time I do come by (I would have taken the dog with me, but he's a big fluffy malamute mix and the roommates have a small house + one is allergic. I didn't want to impose too much, so I'd limited myself to bringing only the one cat who I had the closest bond with and leaving the other pets with my parents).

All of this back-and-forth with my dad finally comes to a head a couple months ago when I ask for a specific item of mine that I left at my parents house. My dad responds with a little poem about how depressed he is because he misses me and I've abandoned him. I throw back some brusque line in which I call him "bro"…

… and that earns a response in which he mocks me about pronouns and gender identity.

I am shocked, because my parents were always super cool about queer stuff. I tell him so and then block him on facebook. He responds to that by scouring the house for everything I left behind, packing it up in cardboard boxes, and dumping it all in my roommate's driveway with zero notice.

I figure he's done with me at that point… but then, last week, he sent me an email which reads:

"I hope you're well. I hope your family is well. I miss you. I'm sick today. Weak. Dizzy. Queasy. Slept a lot, thankfully. I want to ask you, if I were to become too sick to do things for days, would you be someone I could ask to come make some soup, take out the trash, help and give comfort? I won't be surprised at a "no", but, a "yes" would be wonderful. I got the trash out and the dogs fed. Cavall is off his breakfast lately, but, usually eats supper. He used to eat better, but, he's really getting old and slow now. In the six years I've walked him he's gone from wanting to run a lot to slow walking and sniffing. I'm getting down some oatmeal with raisons and yogurt now. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow. I think so, but, the question arises at such times. Plz tel yes or no, so I can know for future reference."

And, well, I told him no. I hate the idea of abandoning sick elderly people who are already living in poverty, but after all the shit I described, I don't want to be around him. So, what's the vote?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[letrashbag]

Alright, I've been looking at all the queer crap, so Imma rant about that today. (I also accidentally reblogged a Nimona post on here instead trashlikesmedia so oops, but you can see where I started.)

Labels suck but I need them so there. I consider myself asexual, I came to this conclusion last summer. I've never been in a relationship, never really had any crushes. I always joked about how I had a crush on this guy in like 3rd grade and he liked my best friend (who I didn't actually like but that's a different story), and I've never loved since, but like it's true. I haven't. I always had this idea that I just hadn't met someone worth crushing on. I would ask people how they got into relationships and they'd always be like "just be yourself, one day the right guy will come along and it'll all work out" which was not helpful at all. My younger sibling is queer and they kind of introduced me to a lot of different identities and ideas, and it just kind of grew from there. It all started with me acknowledging the fact that I didn't want to sleep with women, and I felt the same way about women as I do about men, so I'm bi? pan? ace? It took a while to get comfortable with it, but now I'm here confidently ace.

Then the romantic side of things got tough. I've been on exactly one date (it was terrible, I did not like the guy and he did not put in a lot of effort and it was so uncomfortable), and I've only ever really had one crush on a guy and it was such a weird experience, that I couldn't figure out what was going on. (that was actually last summer and part of me realizing I was ace was being excited to hang out and talk with him but physically recoiling when I even thought about kissing him), so romance was not my thing. I do identify as aromantic, because it's the label that most closely matches my feelings and experiences, but I still feel like it's not right. I don't know if it's because I genuinely am alloromantic, or because I so desperately crave romance.

The big deal of it all is that I grew up in a not great family environment. My parents hate each other, especially my mom to my dad. They have been outwardly antagonistic towards each other for as long as I can remember. (I think the only reason they haven't gotten divorced is because it would be too expensive and my mom doesn't want to lose my dad's paycheck.) That contrasted really sharply with all the romance I would read about and see in movies and stuff. I'm a big reader and I have always loved romance. So I grew up with this reality of a terrible relationship and a fantasy of a perfect romance. I constantly worried that I would either settle for a terrible relationship because I thought that was realistic or end up alone because nothing matched my standards. Now, I don't know if my aromantic feelings are just because I'm scared of relationships and all of that nonsense or if I'm just genuinely not attracted to people. It keeps me up at night. At the end of the day, I just vibe and hope that everything works out.

In regards to gender, boy howdy do I have feelings. Cause like, gender isn't real, it's a social and cultural concept that people cling to because they like order. This is not invalidating trans people, gender and body dysmorphia is a very real thing and associating your identity, experiences, and sense of self with a gender and/or sex is normal, whether it aligns with your gender assigned at birth or not. My sentiment is more about the way society views gender as 1) a binary that aligns perfectly with sex and 2) an inflexible and constant pillar of identity that comes before any other identifiers. This is where I got beef. At the end of the day, your personal experience of gender is just that, personal. It's a part of who you are, but it's also influenced heavily by the way society views gender and gender norms, that's inevitable. My personal feelings are just complicated. I identify as a woman and use she/her pronouns because it's easy, not because I feel particularly aligned with the female gender. I'm not uncomfortable being perceived as a woman, but I also just don't care. Gender just isn't something that I consider important to my identity. I am me, I love these things, I do these things, these are my opinions. Y'know? (It probably doesn't help that my sense of self is also just wack, but whatever.) Something that I am uncomfortable with is being viewed as a woman before being viewed as a person. I have always called myself an actor, not an actress. Cause what's an actor? Someone who acts. What's an actress? A woman who acts. Why should part of my identifier clarify that I am a woman? That just doesn't make any sense to me. This view is rooted in my feminist ideals as well, as I've always been an advocate of getting rid of gendered job titles, seeing as the masculine form is almost always the default. However, I can't help but correlate the feelings. I just want to be a person, not a woman. Most of my hesitation in reaching out to and looking into the genderqueer community is just imposter syndrome probably. I don't care about being a woman, I don't feel gender dysphoria, people on the street probably aren't going to hate crime me for not aligning myself with a binary gender, so why should I try to claim any of this. Maybe it's just me making up excuses and pretending to be queer so I can feel cool or special. Maybe all the queerphobes are right and I am pretending to aroace and nonbinary so I can fit in with all the cool kids without actually having to date a woman and transition. I know that's a messed up view. Everyone's experience with gender and sexuality is extremely unique and no one will fit into a single box. I'm allowed to have these feelings without hating myself. It's just hard and scary. But c'est la vie.

On a lighter note, I love the asexual pride flag, it's so pretty, and I love the aromantic pride flag, it is also very pretty. But the aroace flag isn't that great. The colors just don't itch my brain the way the asexual and aromantic flags do individually y'know?

Long post, but I got's lots of feelings. I'm sure I'll make a bunch of posts about queerness, it do be a thing, but this was a good way to get my base feelings just out there.

#lgbtqia+ #queer #aroace #asexual #aromantic #genderqueer #confusions #i don't know man I'm trying #this is why I like Nimona so much #“But I'm not a girl...I'm a shark.”

[mamasplat]

this blog is where i can pretend like i’m sane and shit so

liar liar hcs lets go-

minami and tohru both have poetry blogs on tumblr, they follow each other, but they do not know who is running the other blog

yukari had horrible depressive episodes when she was younger, that makes her blame herself for the way minami is now

akira puts milk before his cereal

koshi can’t tie his shoe laces, he has been using zippers for so long he forgets shoe laces are a thing

tohru has beef with minami, it’s one sided, she thinks he’s alright

minami and koshi have chronic pain, they bond over it

naos parents are dead. no reason i just have a gut feeling

the minamida parents suck, yukari is the golden child but her struggles aren’t taken care of, and minami is ignored all together leaving yukari to try and parent her. that lack in parental support is also probably what leads minami to be so comfortable around akira, they both have issues at home but it goes as an unspoken understandable

speaking of akira, his moms a drunk, his dad is no where to be seen, and his sister left the second she had the chance. leaving him the man of the house, he lacks control in his life and childhood so he takes it out with violence. no excuse but it is a logical explanation for a backstory we never got because of the demo-

akira is fascinated by minami because in a lot of ways she reminds him of himself when he was young, as for yukari he just didn’t like the lack of attention from her, he chases what he can’t have and let’s go of what he does have. it’s an endless routine

tohru has too much pressure from his peers and family that he clings to the few things that bring him comfort like his few friends and his interests in oddities

koshi is the only person with a good upbringing, but he grew up poor

miho grew up comfortable money wise but was left to grow up too fast, she seeks too much control and ended up without a childhood chasing justice

mihos strong sense of justice is what ended any possible friendship with minami, minami just wanted to keep to herself only showing minimal respect to people who earn it, miho hated that and she isn’t the type to keep her mouth shut

yukari is desperately trying to make them get along. she is failing.

wakabayashi is a horrible person, just all the way around he’s a dick, rich family never had a struggle in his whole life, the type of guy who tried to play the fire truck game, the type of guy who is somehow both violently queer and also violently homophobic. but he’s still popular

boy is trans, his name is legitimately boy because he’s bad with names, him and minami started talking because of his name, she was originally make fun of it but after hearing the story behind it she just found him endearing

minami and boys relationship is complex, she’s aroace yes but in the beginning she wasn’t fully aware of this, she confuses her platonic feelings towards him for what she hears romance feels like, he is the shoulder she can cry on the only person she can open up to and overall her best friend, and he’s head over heels for her. their love is one sided but their ok with that, he doesn’t need to be intimate to be happy by her side and she’s more than happy to keep him around

 akira also feels little to no romantic feelings but just likes knowing people enjoy him in such a manner and when they don’t he sees it as a challenge

alright that’s more than enough for right now even if that got a big dark, see ya

#these are less hcs and more just short fun facts from my character studies but whatever #liar liar (game) #minami minamida #akira tobitaka #yukari minamida #satoru wakabayashi #liar liar #tohru kunikuda #miho sonoda #koshi tanaka

[schumiatspa]

Max has trans friends who have said that he’s very respectful of them and their pronouns. Max is the only driver who has ever alluded to using grindr before. Max is from one of, if not THE, most LGBT friendly country on the planet. It makes sense if you know anything about him.

Okay, starting from the last thing: I know that The Netherlands are considered one of the most LGBT friendly countries in the world (and Belgium too, since we are at that), but it doesn't really mean anything. Statistically I can accept that it is more likely to find someone LGBT friendly than not, but you can't assume that someone is just because they're Dutch or have lived there. And viceversa. I grew up in probably one of the least LGBT friendly italian regions but I'm lucky enough to say that I was surrounded by allies or members of the community. But if strangers had to bet on them, they would probably say they're not that LGBT friendly, because they grew up and maybe still live in that specific area. Even being a LGBT friendly person often doesn't rule out lgbtphobic behaviors, let alone if this has to be applied to a whole country.

Aside from that, I hope that his trans friends are in the room with us rn and you can provide me with some screens/videos/interviews: I'd be happy to take a look at every piece of content you might like to send my way, my askbox is always open. But I'd like to point out that being friends with someone queer doesn't automatically rule out intolerant behaviors or opinions: I can think about a few people that I'm sure that care about me (and know I'm bi), but I wouldn't put it past them to make biphobic comments (sadly). Saying that he has trans friends feels a little bit weak, it sounds too much like the infamous "I have gay friends" which more often that not is followed by "BUT...".

That being said, even if I was completely in the wrong here, what baffles me is that people consider him a bicon. For me to really consider him as such, he'd have to at least be outspoken about LGBT people, there should be some kind of real action from his part to back this. A thing that not many drivers have done, to be fair (again - if I missed some interview of his or some stances that he took that prove me wrong on this, I'm here). About that, I know very well that here on Tumblr we joke and exaggerate a lot, what we say here probably doesn't align with the actual reality, we probably give too much credit to people that wouldn't deserve it in real life, but this how Tumblr works and we know it (and frankly that's why it is so fun). Even if I wanted to detach myself from the reality (as I know I did, I still do and surely I'll keep doing, like everybody else) and just base this on pure vibes/headcanons, it just wouldn't work, surely not to that extent.

Also because in the past he wasn't the most tolerant person on the grid (for other things, but still). And if we think of the people surrounding him... well, not a really good vibe there. At all. If you keep associating yourself with such people, it's difficult to think that you are completely different from them, unless clearly proved otherwise.

#okay this is already a long answer and i can't obviously stop you from answering in the askbox or in dms or however you prefer #but i don't think it's worth wasting our energy and time #both yours and mine #i've never hidden the fact that i don't have the best opinion of him #it's in my pinned post too in order to prevent people from opening a blog with opinions that they won't agree with #at least this is how i see tumblr #but my anon button is on and the ask box is open for a reason i guess #so #📩 #anon

[songoftrillium]

I wanted to say that I really appreciated your share on that post about there being no trans folks before 2000. I resonated it with it a lot, as a millennial who didn't know nonbinary was even an option until much further into my adult years.

Thank you. And yeah that's exactly it. I remember other queer folk I grew up around. There was a degree of kinship we saw in each other, in our shared existential misery, but none of us had a name for what we were. We were always here but feeling existentially wrong in a world that wasn't built for us.

I remember when my daughter was born, holding her in the ward and feeling a profound sadness that it wasn't me on that bed. Even when I did learn about being trans, "well it's too bad you're not trans" I told myself for another decade. That weird existential anxiety was still there.

I've called it self-exclusion. Therapist calls it internalized transphobia. An auspice of self-resentment for not being able to conform. Now the self exclusion is there because I waited for so long to transition. There's a lot of bad stuff in the world and I never wanted to be the person to make it worse.

Bringing it back home, I am happy to report nearly all my friends that survived that time are now at-minimum queer. Some transitioned. Some didn't make it. Some got so far in the closet they're now homophobes. People forget the 90s was so casually homophobic you even had Bill and Ted calling each other 'fag' and 'queer' for the simple act of hugging.

#queer revolution #queer pride #Queer in the 90s #lgbtqia2s+