First time using digital art cause why not, as my friend said, get out of your comfort zone. RIP my spine and fingers :') I was experimenting and now I can't wait to find my stylus pen so I can enjoy my creations digitally. That's all for now folks :')
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[Disclaimer: this is a bunch of art history facts and tidbits masquerading as Midnight Pals fanfiction. I am so bored. Midnight Pals is by @bitterkarella , it's very good and you should read/listen. hello good day and I am so sorry]
Nièpce: Uhm. Bonjour. I would like to introduce you you all this new thing I made called a heliograph?
Caravaggio: who the fuck invited the chemist.
Hopper (looking at the heliograph): I like it. It reflects the tristesse and pointlessness of the world.
Genteleschi (talking over Hopper,to Caravaggio): who the fuck invited you.
Stieglitz: I like it and I'll argue your case but you must NEVER bring up the word "Kodak"
(A cartoonish brawl breaks out in the background)
Nièpce: What's a Kodak?
(scene)
Turner: I would like to introduce to you my painting Snow Storm – Steam-Boat off a Harbour's Mouth Making Signals in Shallow Water, and going by the Lead. The Author was in this Storm on the Night the "Ariel" left Harwich
(Everybody looks at the painting)
Hopper: but what's the painting called.
Turner (sarcastically): it was called many things by the critics.
Turner:...
Turner: you can call it snowstorm.
(scene)
Duchamp: I would like to introduce you to my painting "Nude descending a staircase"....
Gauguin (startling out of deep sleep): Tits??
Gauguin (squinting at the painting): .....
Gauguin: go fuck yourself Marcel.
Genteleschi (nursing a stab wound from the earlier fight) That's what you should do, then you'd stop making women sick.
(murmurs of agreement)
(scene)
Dramatis personae:
Nicephore Nièpce, an early pioneer of photography (his heliograph is today regarded the first photograph ever)
Alfred Stieglitz: American photographer, part of the pictorialist movement that heavily pushed the "photography is a form of art too damn it" angle after the Eastman Kodak company released the first commercially viable photo camera and photography went from a totally obscure nerd hobby that only a few people could even pull off to something that everyone could easily do.
Caravaggio: Renaissance painter. Most of the information that exists on him are court records of his stab-happy crime spree and that he once sued a guy for painting in his style which is a 21st century dick move. He got thrown out of two different cities for the crime of stabbing a guy fatally in the balls. This is really all you need to know about Caravaggio.
Artemisia Genteleschi, renaissance WOMAN and absolute badass. There were woman artists back then but not many and she could already paint at a professional level at age fifteen or sixteen! She got admitted to the academy of arts!! She sold her paintings internationally! She was really really good.
Edward Hopper, member of the school of so called "American realism" and probably clinically depressed according to my classmate who did the presentation on him. If it looks sorta realistic and exudes a sense of isolation and loneliness even if there is multiple people in the painting, it's probably one of his. (He was part of last year's art history final and I thank whoever looks kindly on highschoolers that I was able to retain some information from that presentation as well as.my classmate for picking him off the list)
William James Mallord Turner
British landscape painter. Regarded as Britain's Favorite painter (these days)
He was supposed to be the subject of my presentation but I begged my teacher to let me do Marcel Duchamp instead. I have since seen the errors of my way.(more on that later) Snowstorm is currently on loan to the Lenbachhaus, an art museum in Munich Germany, and I went to the exhibition and stood right in front of it. It's really something.
The things the critics said about Snowstorm were "soapsuds and whitewash" and "all of the contents of his (Turner's) pantry"
Now Turner had a certain "fuck off" attitude to artistic people pleasing but according to a contemporary source called John Ruskin (I think) he read that scathing review and went "soapsuds and whitewash! Soapsuds and whitewash! I wonder what they think the sea's like!? I wish they'd been in it!" which I think is hilarious.
And finally Marcel Duchamp.
What the fuck do I say about him? I have done the presentation. I got a 2 (that's pretty good!) And I still struggle to understand what the guy was even doing. His most well known contribution to art is an upside down toilet. Or well...a photo of that that was photographed by Stieglitz.
He was french I guess that's what I can say about him. I was like "oh he did Object art. I do object art. I'll like what he made" but it turns out that "object art" is a really vague catch-all term. :) who could've guessed. I like Tom Every more (look up the Evertron. It's the world's largest scrap metal sculpture and it is freaking phenomenal. THAT'S what I wanna do. Not Marcel Duchamp. I wanna make whimsical shit like he did or weird shit like Luise Bourgeois did. They're my art heroes. Not Marcel Duchamp. just wanted to make Gauguin look bad cause he was a thoroughly unpleasant person who I wouldn't touch with a six meter pole )
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