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azucar-skull · 1 month

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I am foaming at the mouth I need to rant about something in Feral Casey AU.

Okay so Usagi and Hana.

Usagi and Hana are the Henry and Sam of FCAU. Quite literally if you have seen TLOU HBO series. This wasn't my intention though.

I know I wanted one of the main cast to be deaf, a challenge to better myself in representation. And originally, I chose Usagi.

It was gonna be so cute. Usagi getting caught in an explosion to save Hana and then the two end up needing to rely on each other. Usagi needed her ears, and Hana needed his protection and guidance.

Then Leo and Usagi would be the ultimate disabled couple with Leo being an amputee. And they would be so fucking cute together and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

But there was a problem.

Hana didn't have a personality.

At the time, her only personality trait was that she was dependent on Usagi and then ultimately became a rude character that I didn't want her to be. I tried to twist it as her overcoming ableism but nothing worked out.

After much debate, I made Hana the deaf character to fix her personality.

I'm not saying being deaf is a personality trait. But Hana being deaf brought out a better personality within her.

Now I have a little girl who becomes deaf in the crossfire of an explosion and her personality takes a turn. She is scared, she is lost, and she needs Usagi to be her shield. Once they finally find the Resistance and Casey Jr taught her sign language, she became more independent.

Because she had hearing beforehand, she knows of a life where sound meant something to her. And she wants it back more than anything. She gets cochlear implants and wears them all the time. Usagi is happy for her.

But then things come up. Noises became too much, she starts getting headaches, the implants become uncomfortable since she wears them ALL DAY.

She refuses to put them on one day and this is Usagi and Hana’s first fight of many.

Now, don't get me wrong, Usagi wants to be a good brother. Truly. But he doesn't understand Hana’s situation. He just assumes at first.

In this fight, Usagi and Hana go back and forth about needing the implants until Hana manages to sign why she hates them. Usagi negotiates a compromise, asking her to wear them when they are outside. The outside contains Kraang and gunfire and other things that you need to listen out for. Hana agrees.

But then things get worse.

Her hearing becomes more and more damaged and the implants needed to get upgraded again and again. She still finds them uncomfortable to wear, still gets headaches when she wears them, voices become harder to understand, and implants are very hard to come by in the apocalypse.

So one day, when she and the others are meant to be going out, she refused to wear them. Usagi and Hana fight again.

Usagi wants to keep her safe, you know? He means well. But Hana was just not having it. Her anger bubbles over as she aggressively signs her thoughts until her hands stopped making sense.

And then all she could do was scream.

Then she broke down crying.

The siblings never fought again after that. Usagi finally breaks out of his audism mindset and learns to support Hana’s choices no matter what.

We get to watch a character go from a scared, shy, dependant child turn into a stubborn-headed, strong, independent girl through the journey of accepting Deafness. This is a journey I have been building since the idea for FCAU started and I am grateful to have the support of my ASL professor (who is Deaf) who caught me drawing sketches of Hana and became invested in helping me.

And there is a reason why Usagi is so keen on his ways but I don't wanna spoil it yet. TLDR, it has to do with depression and shit. It's a whole thing that we'll get into later.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

Without spoiling too much, there's going to be a particular episode about 1/4 way through the story involving Usagi and Hana’s relationship and uhh let's just say it'll make you cry.

Usagi proves himself as the loving brother that will do anything for his sister and puts her above all else.

As Hana faces a great fear that she is no longer afraid off because she knows she can handle it and knows who got her back.

Okay rant over, I am satisfied. I'm going to bed.

#feral casey au #feral casey au rottmnt #fcau rottmnt #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles

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thedevilliers · 3 years

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Hi!!

I wanted to let you know how much I absolutely love your story. Your characters are so fun yet so nuanced, and they each have such distinct storylines. Every detail you include is important to the story, and each one makes me fall more and more in love with your story!

I love that I can see the thought and planning you put into every post. That level of concentration on each part is just incredible!! I loved seeing each and every part of emi’s growth, and seeing the parent-child relationship between Emi and Amelia blossom. They’re both such interesting characters that, although different upon first glance, seem to have a lot in common! I’m excited to see how they interact now that Emi’s a bit older and see how the sibling tension affects all of that.

But most of all, I really appreciate how authentic you are on your account!! You have the most amazing sense of humor and I laugh at every set of hashtags I read through. Your story draws such devoted followers and thorough attention because of how amazing it is but also because of how amazing you are!! I love your hints and random screenshots, and everything in between.

Thank you for giving the world this amazing story but, more importantly, for letting us get to know you!! It makes the story 10000x better.

Much love!! 💗💘

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PLEASEEEEEEE IM 🥺😭🥺🥺🥺🥺😭🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭

this is so nice i haVE NO WORDS!! i literally cried, had to get up from my pc, walked around n came back n cried again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i really really appreciate your words. they mean so much, for real 🥺🥺🥺 im SOOOO happy and glad u see those lil things and like my silly little characters and their lil silly plotlines and my hints and me bein dumb in the tags 🥺🥺🥺AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im always tryin my best to make my story something I, and hopefully others, enjoy too 🥺 all my effort is something i do bc i want to make my story something im proud of u know 🥺👉👈 i love u anon <3 and anyone who reads my story 🥺❤❤❤❤ i hope u will enjoy part 3 and what im gonna put the de villiers thru 😭😭😭

#WAIT Lemme save this foREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i love u anon. PERIOD!!!!!!!! <33333333 #im still 🥺👉👈🥺👉👈🥺👉👈🥺👉👈🥺👉👈#ask #Anonymous #nice things #PERIODT !! im gonna come back 2 this when im sad 😪

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whoslaurapalmer · 3 years

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“Birds are very noisy creatures,” Lemony says, softly softly softly, Violet cradled against his chest and her head turned under his chin so they can both look out the window into the garden. “They have many things to say and need to say them as loudly as possible, which makes them not unlike a good number of people in the world.”He sounds so serious, and Beatrice starts smiling, her whole face almost crumpling with it. //Then Lemony looks up, his eyes wide. “How do I put her down,” he whispers.

aaaaa 💖💖 love, keep your arms around me 💖💖

-so much of this fic is based on me and my mom, in 2019, babysitting my cousin's granddaughter, who was about, nine months old at the time, and very wriggly, and, funnily enough? enjoyed chomping down with her nonexistent teeth on hard furniture.

she, too, freaked out when seeing my distorted image behind a shower curtain, was vaguely interested in the birds out the window, caused a great deal of concern about 'what is she going to bump into?????' re: our house in general (that also came from my personal fears about getting a kitten, which is almost akin to bringing a child into your house with the Things they may both get into), and was how i learned about how, if a baby falls asleep in your arms, you are done for. you can never move again, because you risk waking the baby, which you do not want, because the baby is finally asleep. it's better if you have two people, and presumably great if you have three, to maneuver the baby/the blanket/the surface you're putting them down on, but still tricky.

also based on, apparently my dad, when my siblings and i were all babies, would go up to my mom with TERROR all over his face when we fell asleep in his arms and go 'take them. oh god please take them' because he was so terrified about putting us down or moving wrong and waking his tiny children, which i think is very sweet and amusing.

-i had like, three different fics featuring baby!violet kicking around, idea-wise. one was going to be, bea and bertrand's dinner after they write the 200 page breakup letter (this is still about violet because the conversation during the dinner is them going "did you tell lemony you were pregnant?" "......well did you tell him i was????"), another was, violet being born after lemony left, another one i did not write down was violet being born after lemony left and then lemony comes back, and the final one was this one, because, i just wanted to write about them being concerned parents. i wanted to write about lemonberry ice all getting to be parents!!!

because!!! okay!!!! lemony is so heartbreakingly sweet and patient and gentle with children and i don't know how many times i have said 'what he wants more than anything is a family!!! his family!!! his own!!!!!' but it's true!!!! he wants a wife and perhaps an additional husband! he wants children!! he wants to be a parent!!! he wants to be able to do this!!!!! and what he says to violet is one of my top favorite lemony lines i have written. i think it's just so him, that again he'd be so gentle and considerate about it, and still really serious because that's just how he is. of course he's not going to talk down to violet even if she's only a few months old. of course he's going to turn it into a small speech on how people act. it's just such a soft and sweet moment. like. he gets to hold her in his arms. he gets to show her the world. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-and bea is very touched and emotional. and i'm very emotional!!!!!

-the bird is a white-throated sparrow because they are one of my favorite birds to hear in spring. i think they have one of the more distinct bird calls and are just very recognizable where i live. they are pleasantly noisy.

#lulu talks about the sad lemon man

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pegasister60 · 4 years

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The next chapter in Value of Recycling is out! Hope you like it!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW ARE SO YOU QUICK?????

Link

“Marksmanship being a trait shared by both siblings” in the hill I will die on. I will acknowledge and respect other headcanons and other takes but in our heart of hearts we all know

Aw, Tenko moment

Aw group bonding over preserving bits of culture and human practices

Thank you my life is complete now. Sniper boy!! I really gotta fucking design his outfit I can’t procrastinate much longer. Well I can but

Survivor solidarity is always nice to see

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DOOR DOOR DOOR

Gonna draw my boy in his gear

Gonna draw my boy and the door

Gonna draw my boy and his squad

I have a lot of thing I need to draw now.

Thanks for the content!!!!

#my post #i speak #i reply #danganronpa #drv3 #makoto naegi #naegi makoto #garbage makoto au #maki haruwaka #kaede akamatsu #rantaro amami #shuichi saihara #shuuichi saihara

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fe3h-bulletin-board · 5 years

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If you wouldn't mind, could you do Felix for the character list?? Good luck with your blog!!

Oh, thank you so much! And thank you so much for requesting one of my favs,,,

Minor spoilers Crimson Flower route!!

favorite thing about them

He knows what the hell he wants!! And he’s got the motivation to go for his goals!!! And I love the prickly yet actually has a heart of gold archetype!! His character growth is my shit

least favorite thing about them

he isn’t allowed to say fuck

but in all actuality, I don’t like that the only support where he isn’t like,, terribly harsh to the recipient is Annette’s supports? as far as the ones I’ve seen and I wish there was more!!

favorite line (i’m going to do two)

“Try not to catch a cold up here. I’d hate for such a good sparring partner to be out of commission.” excuse me Felix you can’t just th r ow that shit at me without a goddamn warning you handsome bastard--

------------------Spoilers for Crimson Flower route!!!----------------------

“Since I allied with you and the emperor, my resolve has never wavered. I abandoned my country. I am prepared to kill my father, and kill a man I once called my friend. Resolute as I am, my sword feels... heavy.”

bitch AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

I wailed about this for like five minutes because it hurt so bad but my g o d was it so good

brOTP

Felix/Ingrid! I think it would be awkward for them to date for obvious reasons but I’d feel like they would have a clear sibling dynamic between them!!

Felix with Annette and/or Ashe is also very nice and valid!

OTP

Felix/Sylvain and Felix/Byleth yes I’m dumb and gay and Sylvix is good

nOTP

Dima/Felix. not that they wouldn’t be friends but god I can’t see romance going very well. I don’t want them to hurt each other and it would take so much time for both of them to heal and for Felix to fully trust Dimitri.

However, I’m not repulsed by it. There are some very good Dima/Felix fics I have enjoyed!

random headcanon

Felix drinks hot sauce from the bottle change my mind--

But I think Felix keeps things that remind him of his friends. A collection of rocks with certain colors and textures and such.

unpopular opinion

I think him being very cold/mean to people is very fair. It contributes to his character development with everyone. Doesn’t mean I don’t get a lil angry at him especially when he speaks to Dedue like that

song i associate with them

“Hello My Old Heart” by The Oh Hellos. It just resonates very well with his character and the style is very good. If you happen to check it out please look at other songs! I love The Oh Hellos a lot!!

favorite picture of them

it’s terrible quality but who gave him the right to look that cute

#fe3h #fe3h spoilers #crimson flower spoilers #fe3h headcanons #felix hugo fraldarius #fe3h felix #mod argentum

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crushingonrazz · 7 years

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7, 8, 17 and 19 for rottenberry and 5, 23 and 29 for Kustard :x

Rottenberry

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

Oh, Blue. It’s definitely Blue. But it’s less of an “awwww” thing and more Blue putting on all of the leather Razz owns at once then coming downstairs and parading around the house kicking things while Razz watches him from the couch with this look on his face. (”Are you done yet?” “aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA” “....how about now?” “okay, I’m done” then Razz very calmly gets up from the couch, then shapes his eyelights into stars and claps his hands together “I’M GOING TO DRINK SIX REDBULLS IN A ROW AND JUMP OFF THE ROOF!!!!!!!”)They enjoy mocking each other. It’s a bonding strategy.

No but for real Blue loves running off with Razz’s clothes because they smell like him and its just really funny when Razz storms in “have you seen my coat?!?” and Blue is definitely wearing said coat as he looks up and tells him “nope, haven’t seen it.”

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?” & 17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

(sorry, already answered these ones!!)

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

If we’re being honest here? Complete fucking shit. I projected too much onto Blue’s character so he’s a selfish asshole, and Razz can barely handle loving one person, let alone the constant attention, love, and engagement that a child would require. They’d be great babysitters, watch a brother’s or friend’s kid for a few hours or even a whole weekend, pick up a nephew and take him for ice cream, whatever, but neither of them really possess the emotional capacity to raise a mentally healthy child. Not to mention, neither of them really want a child of their own? They enjoy the freedom of only having themselves and each other to answer to, and while they both like being around kids for small periods of time, Razz doesn’t have the patience to handle tantrums and Blue doesn’t have the attention span to handle much nonsensical conversation. If they were to have a child accidentally, I could absolutely see them giving it up for adoption instead of keeping it. If we’re talking about the String Theory world here, and if The Big Sad hadn’t happened and they somehow ended up having a kid? They would absolutely have asked Stretch and Fell to raise the kid as theirs, because they really just couldn’t handle it, and while they aren’t mature enough to have a kid, they are mature enough to recognize that fact. (and I do say this all as someone who adores kids and works at an Intermediate school. That’s one thing I didn’t project onto Blue lol)

Kustard

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

Okay so Sans fucking sucks ass at cooking. 10/10 would try to make ramen noodles and somehow light it on fire. He doesn’t try very often, but when he does he’s always really determined to make it work and when he inevitably fails, Red’s always there with a hug and cookie to cheer him up.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

Red just standing in the middle of the living room and looking very guilty and Sans is narrowing his eyes at a very suspicious lump under his coat. “What is that?” “...nothing” *coat barks softly* “..........okay, so it might be something.”

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

Red!!! Sans doesn’t even notice it’s raining half the time, but he sure does notice when all the sudden it’s gone and he looks over and Red’s right there and smiling down at him and his soul just lights up and they smile at each other and then Sans promptly trips over his own feet and lands face-first into a puddle (what a champ)

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vindrawin · 7 years

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My Oc (I DID THIS SO I COULD DRAW UR OC PLEASE GIVE MEH A REQUEST)

(For some reason, it's not letting me post this with the picture soooooooo) That moment when you write a more then two page summary of your character and then realize tumblr didn't upload it, didn't notify you about that, and find out the next day. Worst thing is, I had copied it just in case, but I thought it had uploaded so I copied something else. ALRIGHT HERE WE GO Chisana Egao Quirk: Void wings This quirk enables her to create wings out of a semi-permeable shadow type of material. These are typically very small unless she chooses to use them. When in use, they grow about ten feet in wingspan if she is planning on using them for flying. The other way she can use them it for quick teleportation, however, she can only go to places she has been during the past day, and bringing someone else is extremely tiring. At night, her wings grow bigger than in the day, throwing off her balance a bit when she's not flying, but making her faster when she is flying. Parents: Her mother was a villain, and the leader of a gang that terrorized many cities. Although being the leader, she was able to sweet talk her way out of a lot of the crimes she had committed, so although she was more of a high ranked villain, the authorities recognize her as only committing minor offenses. Her quirk is Shadow make, enabling her to create anything out of shadows as long as it is less than 50 ft away from her at anytime. She can control the solubility for these shadows, from making solid objects to dense fogs. Her father was a very successful hero who worked mainly at saving people during disasters. He was a product of quirk marriages, and thus has a soft spot for anyone put in an awful situation just because of their family. His quirk was space control, a quirk which allowed him to create worm wholes for teleporting himself or objects out of the way, manipulation of gravity which would create a 75 ft bubble with himself at the center where gravity was under his control, and void space, a small sort of pocket dimension where no one could enter unless he let them. Through his side of the family has been a sort of quirk illness, where, when using one or more parts of their quirk, a family member has been unable to stop. Doing this could cause them to permanently injure or fatally would themselves. This happened to her father on a particularly dangerous mission when a building was collapsing during an earthquake. He teleported one hundred and forty people into a void space for two hours until the area was safe. After that, people noticed that he was growing unstable. His final job was when he had to capture Egao's mother. After she circumvented punishment by the law, she took advantage of his weakened mind. They got married after that and he soon retired. Siblings: Egao has an older sister who is four years older than her. She inherited a mix of gravity manipulation and shadow create. She can manipulate the specific gravity on anyone or thing that has a shadow, pulling them down or lifting them up. She can also turn her body parts into a shadow and manipulate the solidness of it, for example, she could turn her arm into a sword and harden it past the strength of steal. She most resembles her mother Her brother is three years younger then Egao, and inherited teleportation through shadows and can create shadows in the form of basic geometric shapes, objects that resemble sharp knives, and even duplicates of himself, and as long as it doesn't touch the ground, the objects remain solid. If they die make contact with the ground, they melt back into his own shadow. Past: Compared to her siblings, Egao is nothing. Her younger brother was three when he started making little shadow squares (he started doing this to complete that little puzzle where you have to fit the correct shapes into the correct slots. He always takes the easy way out) and her sister, who was ten, had already basically mastered gravity manipulation and could turn her arms into shadows and back. Egao could barely fly off the ground at age six. Their father was unresponsive. He would sit in their guest room all day, muttering to himself and occasionally saying something to the children. He barely ate and never talked to his wife. Their mother was mentally abusive, blaming the kids for everything she did to them. If they did something she deemed incorrect, she would let the other kids beat up the bad doer (the brother and Egao often didn't want to, so they would be locked in the guest room with their father for hours as additional punishment when they refused to fight). Their sister would always listen to her mother, even if it meant hurting her siblings. She looked down on Egao because of her inferior abilities. One day, when she was almost turning seven (none of them knew their exact birthdays) she was locked in the room with her father again. He was mumbling incoherently as he stared out the window. She was tired of all of this, and his mumbling was driving her insane. She wanted to prove to them, all of them, that she was more than useless. She was going to try and use void pocket. None of the children had ever tried to because, a while back, their father told them," this is what has turned me into this." Even their mother doesn't encourage it. She starts trying to, and the hours start passing by. She's starting to feel sick, like a weight is dropped in her stomach. Her hair starts floating up as her body starts burning. Her vision blurs in and out, black spot dancing across her eyes as she is holding back tears. Then there is a stabbing pain in her eye. She cries out and tries to stop, to at least shut her eyes, but she can't. She then remembers her father mentioning something about a quirk disease, an inability to stop, but it's too late. She's crying out as her eye feels like it's popping. She is barely aware of her mother pounding on the door that Egao locked. She feels blood pouring from her right eye. It splatters across her clothes. She feels it. She know it. She's going to die. Tears and blood stream down her face as her screams and gasps coincide. Then she feels a hand on her shoulder. She feels weightless. The weight in her stomach is gone. She is able to close her eyes. After a while, she is able to open one to see her father, the sky behind him is the night. She was in a void pocket. Was it her or him who had done it? She couldn't tell as she slipped into unconsciousness. When she wakes up, it's in the hospital. The doctor informs her that she will never be able to see out of her right eye again. He also tells her that they found her in the street, unconscious and bleeding heavily. They ask her who her parents are and she fakes memory loss. She doesn't want to go back. She knows her father did this. They put out a report about the missing child, but know one claims her as theirs. Her father must have stopped her mother. When she checked in the mirror and could finally see her eye, she was shocked. It looked like the night sky except for her purple iris which was visibly much smaller then before. She touched it and realized that it was a void. This was the happiest day in her life. She had succeeded in a way and was finally free from 'home'. Yes, she missed her brother and, to an extent, her sister, but she can't bring herself to go back. About: Gender: Female Pronouns: She/ Her or They/ Their Sexual orientation: Bi Greatest fear: Not being enough Generally a bright person, but can also be very pessimistic. She uses humor to cope and loves to make people laugh. Doesn't go out of her way to form romantic relationships because she grew up witnessing a toxic one. She grew up with thick skin because of people being creeped out by her eye (which is why she grew out her bangs), but is always worried about letting someone down. This is why she prefers to work alone because if she fails, at least she isn't messing up someone else's work. Although she hates to admit it, she needs people around her, a group of friends that will always except who she is, mistakes and all. {bonus fact: she can change her eye back to normal, but her iris is always extremely tiny. She cannot see out of it at anytime, and often stores pencils in her void eye for later use. This is the only place she ever turns into a void.} OKAY IM DONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. It took sooo long to rewrite this ughhhhhh. Btw, the only reason I made this is because I want to draw your OCs!! PLEASE SEND ME A REQUEST I REALLY WANT TO DRAW THEM ... Thanks for reading!

#bnha #bnha oc #boku no hero academia #boku no hero Academia oc #drawing #oc #please send me a request #look at my blog for the picture of her please!

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pasiphile · 7 years

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Review of li'l Hammy plz

ok , so it’s been two weeks, i think i can take it now.

(although my first reaction to that question is still AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *loud broken sobbing*)

First off, it’s probably important to know that all I have to compare it with in terms of performances is the Kenneth Branaugh version and the David Tennant version, and that this was the first time I’ve seen a live stage version.

So. All in all, there were three things about it that I didn’t really like/felt a bit meh about. First was the underuse of Horatio - I like my implied gay, or at least the very close friendship, but because they were really going for the emotionally wrecking version, Horatio got kinda downplayed. Which was a bit of a shame, really. The other thing was the decision to put music over the final bits of the ending duel scene - loud enough that you couldn’t hear the lines anymore. It’s a director’s choice, and honestly I do think it worked, but I’d liked to hear the lines. It also made that whole scene feel a bit rushed, unreal - although it also played into the whole inevitability of the thing. And, to be fair, even without the words, the expressions alone were doing a lot of acting. And third was the way the played a kind of afterlife bit. The back of the stage was separated by a diaphanous curtain, and as the people started dying in the last scene, after they did the traditional falling-on-the-floor-convulsing thing, the actors got up and walked to the space behind the curtain, were Ophelia was already dancing peacefully with Polonius. It... kinda felt too on the nose, to me? Especially compared to the bleakness of the rest of the play.

That’s what I didn’t really like. I really loved the rest. I loved the scene choices - Hamlet senior on CCTV screens really worked for me (even though it did really remind me of Tennant!Hamlet); the minimal setting with just the sofa and a little table with a computer screen on it was amazingly versatile; I kinda loved the decision to put the cast with their backs to the audience during the play-within-a-play thing (even though it made Freddie cringe, theatre-kid they are); and what I probably loved most about it was how they used the see-through curtain during the first few scenes with Hamlet to really drive home the isolation of his character - people partying behind the screen, visible and audible but muted, and he stark and dark in front of it. I also liked the wardrobe, Hamlet’s constant black and Gertrude’s amazing dresses and Ophelia in a vulnerable white long t-shirt and not much else after Hamlet scares the shit out of her.

I loved the interpretations, loved how sympathetic they made everyone. Even Claudius got his moments - the scene in the confessional when Hamlet considers murdering him was played very interestingly, with Hamlet standing directly in front of Claudius, nothing inbetween (to the point where I went oh, are they actually playing it as a head-to-head confrontation?) and it made Claudius feel strangely human, wracked with indecision and guilt almost as much as Hamlet is. They really played up the relationship between Claudius and Gertrude. You could really believe why Gertrude married that quickly. There was a lovely moment where Gertrude is trying to give a serious speech and Claudius snags the back of her dress and playfully tries to pull her away; and there was a cute scene were a guard walks in on Gertrude and Claudius napping on top of each other on the sofa (Gertrude waking up and embarrassedly/gracefully/sheepishly smiling at the guard was adorable). They also got creative with Polonius’ character, playing him as suffering from early Alzheimer’s. It worked, impressively well, it made sense in the context of his lines and added a layer of tragedy on top of the usual clownesque vibe of Polonius. Suddenly the character became real, flesh and blood, rather than just something written for entertainment. But it also took away a bit of the comedy - see below for more on that.

Ophelia, likewise. She’s such a difficult character to do well but Jessica Brown Findlay played her so naturally and full of joy and energy and warmth that I didn’t not like her for a second. And of course, that made the mad scene all the more painful. Another difficult one to do right, imo, but she nailed it; less insane whimsy and more bitter dark anger. Also: every interaction between her and Hamlet in the first act was amazing. They emphasised the relationship between them, made it basically already established. The first time they interact it’s first with a happy lovers’ kiss, and then with a heartfelt long, clumsy, painfully comforting hug. It’s... sort of hard to explain how real that all felt, but it was heartwrenching to watch.

Even Laertes, in his brief scenes, did really really well. His interactions with Ophelia were quintessential teasing-affectionate siblinghood (all three of us have siblings; all three of us went yes that’s how it is afterwards) and his anger and confusion and anguish in the third act really hit you. And Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were interesting too. In case you didn’t know yet, Guildenstern was played by a black woman, Rosencrantz by a white man, and they were pretty heavily implied to be a couple. Rosencrantz kinda faded to the background, imo, but Guildenstern really shone, both in her interactions with Hamlet - again, like with Ophelia, the love between them felt deep, real - as in her interactions with Gertrude. Plus, the bit where Claudius walks up to Rosencrantz and goes dear Guildenstern and Gertrude gently switches them around, correcting him, was a moment of adorably funny brightness.

You may notice I’m kinda stalling. I haven’t mentioned the number one here, the one it’s all about. It’s because it’s kind of hard to put it in words, really. I mean - look, I’ve seen Branaugh’s Hamlet, which was very classic, thoughtful and deliberate and oratory; and I’ve seen Tennant’s Hamlet, which emphasised the wittiness and teasing funny bits and played the pain either as quiet, subdued, or with Tenth-Doctor-Manic-Energy. Meanwhile, Scott’s Hamlet was... if there’s one word I’d associate with this one it’s raw.

(I think the most telling is how completely exhausted and devastated Scott looked after the performance. While everyone else was smiling happily at the applause and the immediate standing ovation, it took until the third bow before he managed to crack a very very tired smile. And that was the matinee performance, meaning he would have to do it all again about three hours later.)

He’s without competition the most painful Hamlet I’ve seen, and probably will ever see. It’s all there on the surface, every battling emotion, every raw pain. The constant vacillating between the hatred and contempt for others and the hatred and contempt for himself; the quiet resigned exhaustion of the third act; the blind fury when he kills Polonius and the sick horrified laughter when he comes back to his senses afterwards; the way he clings to Ophelia and his mother and even the ghost of his father; the soliloquy, which I feared I wouldn’t be able to take seriously after hearing it so many times but which got me right from the first syllable, as if it was the first time I heard it, full of tired sadness and pain...

It was an immensely physical performance too. Scott often gestures big when he’s playing a certain kind of character, which may get distracting when you start paying attention to it, but for me it really worked here, giving the impression of a man struggling to grasp and shape his ideas. A lot of physical attacking happened too, with Ophelia (which sadly I couldn’t see well because of the seating), with Gertrude, in something that very much crossed the line into sexual assault, and even with Polonius, who got a kiss full on the mouth followed by Hamlet spitting on the floor. It just felt so visceral, like it’s all coming from somewhere deep within. Also, it amazes me that most reviews talk about Scott’s Hamlet as being soft-spoken and gentle. Sure, the moments were he was soft and gentle were exceptionally so (most notably in the big soliloquy, and at the start with Ophelia), but those were by far outnumbered by the violent ones. Above all this is a very angry Hamlet; he does more shouting than whispering.

(as I said to Freddie: Hamlet does not have a lot of coping mechanisms. By which I mean: you really got that impression of Hamlet as a man struggling with emotions he has no way of containing, of being constantly overruled and tormented by them, beyond his control. Which is a take I haven’t really seen before - or at any rate, not that well performed)

He also wasn’t a very funny Hamlet. Take the scene in the third act, where the messenger summons him to the duel. Tennant played that with relish, milking every comedic moment; with Scott, I barely smiled at all. By then, the overarching feel was so devastatingly painful that jest would’ve felt immensely out of place. Conversely, moments that wouldn’t be funny in other version suddenly got a kind of dark humour to it; most notably the first soliloquy, which was delivered straight face-on to the audience and got a laugh out of the audience (at the married mine uncle line, I think?) and a fourth-wall-breaking returning grin from Scott - and it worked. (This was also the moment where I went from interested to nailed to my seat because gosh, live theatre is something else). And there was the slapstick-moment after Laertes interrupts Hamlet and Ophelia mid-kiss, and Hamlet dives away behind the couch and followed the rest of the conversation from behind said couch - the sight of the top of his head suddenly peeping up when Laertes has the if he says he loves you got a theatre-wide giggle. But it all starts devolving so rapidly and completely that there’s very little time to enjoy the lightness and funny bits.

That’s the reason why I really deeply enjoyed watching the first act, and why the second and third were a whole lot more difficult to watch for me. Not that they were any less good, they were brilliant, but it’s bleak, depressing. While in the first act, you got that sense of warmth and everything being more or less good, just before everything goes to shit.

Which is the central bit of why it’s so, so good. We all know the story. We all know what happens, who dies, how it ends. But the strength of a tragedy lies in its sense of lost potential, that sort of instinctual no don’t do it! reaction you have as an audience when you can see things starting to go badly and you just do not want this. That’s what this Hamlet did to me, and I can’t exactly say how it did or what was pivotal there or not. It’s greater than the sum of the parts, really. All I know is that I watched that first act and even though I know every single step of the way, I still half expected it to go differently. I wanted it to go differently. Of course it didn’t, but because of that sense of could-have-been that was omnipresent in the first part, every step downwards just hurt that much more.

It’s a Hamlet like a sledgehammer, this one. Without exaggeration, it took me days to recover, and even now, writing about it and thinking back on it, I still get that cold shiver of emotional devastation. In a matter of a few scenes it creates something warm and beautiful, and it then proceeds to slowly tear it apart in front of your eyes. It will fuck you up.

So go watch it. They’re taking it from the teeny-tiny Almeida to the bigger West End theatres soon, so there will be places free. Teeny-tiny Almeida was a lovely setting for it, and the intimacy of the theatre really helped creating the atmosphere of the play, but I don’t doubt it’s going to be great in a bigger one as well. So do as I did, put on a google alert for “andrew scott hamlet”, buy yourself a ticket as soon as they’re available, go have your heart ripped out live and then cry for two days straight because you just wanted them all to be happy, dammit.

#Hamlet #andrew scott #terriblebeastie #i... got a bit carried away #and i still think i've missed out things #like HOW THEY FENCED IN ACTUAL FENCING COSTUMES #although they damn well need to learn to point their points at the opponent not the ceiling #that's an epee not a sabre darling #ANYWAY #PAIN PAIN SO MUCH PAIN #come suffer with meeeee

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veigued-blog · 7 years

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TAGGED BY @datbluedog AND @trainsforbrains im pretty sure >__>

Rules: List 10 of your favorite characters from 10 different fandoms.

do i have 10 different fandoms, let’s find out

I’ll tag @fearboss @triggerfishie @severalbadpunslater if you want to do this!!

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure ⇨ Giorno Giovanna

None of you could guess this one right. Giorno’s my fucking son and I love him and he means a lot to me. I have a history for abusive/neglectful families myself and everything about Giorno’s closed off-ness resonates me in a way that hurts a lot but is also extremely cathartic. He’s also broken as fuck and I adore him and anyone who doesn’t like him can come fight me in my inbox.

(pls dont im super sensitive about this character and i will actually cry)

Hunter x Hunter ⇨ Illumi Zoldyck

This is a hard toss up between Illumi and Kurapika because I adore them both but I could talk about both of them at length forever maybe I’ll talk about kBoi in another post sometime. Again, like above, I have a penchant for characters in fucked up families and Illumi is like the other side of this. A character that projects his own abuse onto someone he loves because he doesn’t know how else to do it. This is something I’ve struggled with too, not knowing how to engage or sympathize with people because I don’t know how to open up to people??? Also Illumi has the coolest design in HxH in my opinion I loved his fucked up octopus body. He is beautiful and I love him.

Tales of Series ⇨ Luke fon Fabre

TAKES A DEEP FUCKING BREATH Luke is the only reason I care about Tales of the Abyss. Well, he and Asch but they’re sort of well. :^) Y’know. Everything about Luke is just... he’s wholly relateable. Everything from his learning and growing character development to the issues he has to face to his inability to know who he truly is until he’s lost so so much I just. I really wish I’d had this character growing up instead of playing it as an adult but maybe he wouldn’t have resonated heh with me so much. I feel like I would have related to Luke so much as a young teen and I realize why a lot of people like Abyss is probably for the same reasons even if they don’t remember how godawful the overarching.... everything is. Luke’s ability to learn to grow instead of just doing so makes me shiver and choke up sometimes. Learning who you are, not what you are. Being able to cope with being yourself. God. I fucking love Luke. Even his minor traits, like having a hard time focusing and learning, being impatient and having a hard time relating to people. All of him. I love a ton of Tales characters but it’s not hard to choose. I love you Luke. ;__;

Disgaea ⇨ Mao

Fuck you. Mao is hilarious and I love him and he’s the only character Vic has voiced well. The whole game is funny and wholesome and perfect and honestly is my favorite despite how much I do love D4. Which is a fuck ton. Mao is just... he’s my type of character, I love atypical protagonists. His design is great, he’s dumb looking and cute. His personality is what gets me though, I adore his relationship with Raspberyl. Just keep slap fighting you two, it’ll work out.

Persona ⇨ Minato

I know, Minato is “me”. But he’s the only thing that makes the story work and he’s wonderful. His personality is so much more fleshed out than Yuu’s whose diaglogue options to me are... Instead of being more clear options his are just like Bland, Happier Bland, Mean Bland. I love all of Minato’s dialogue options, paragon or renegade (though if I was writing him I’d go full renegade lmao.) The people that come together to know Minato are all wonderful and it’s hard to pick between them. I probably like Aegis and Elizabeth the second best because muh best girls but. I just can’t pick them over him. Minato made me fucking cry. Ryouji sucks MJ.

Metal Gear ⇨ Liquid Snake

That’s my boy. My beautiful boy. My big gorgeous boy who I am afraid of. Listen I love Eli so much he’s funny and over the top and stupid. I love daddy issues man. Like every single MGS character is over the top and stupid but Liquid is the over the top stupid big baby. Not even Ocelot is as dumb as him. He’s perfect, he got a dumb tattoo, his best friend is an edgy 1990s matrix character. He’s perfect. That’s all I have to say.

Pokemon ⇨ MortIy Listen. Going off of all his iterations, I think Morty is one of the most developed Pokemon characters. He’s never far off from canon in PokeSpe or the anime, and everything sort of compiles together into one whole that I really like. I love the lore behind Ecruteak and Johto as a whole and that’s where it starts I love him. He’s chill and laid back as fuck on top of being able to tell the future and see ghosts and royally fuck up your entire life if he talks about something a little too much. Of course there’s a lot of headcanon here too because he’s a Pokemon character and it’s hard to help that but I really love what he’s built up to be in as little lines as we get. 10/10 would smoke the good good with.

Fire Emblem ⇨ Takumi

I’m really typical you shouldn’t be surprised. For about the same reasons as Luke, I adore Takumi. He’s very relateable as a young sibling going through depression and anxiety in times of strife where everyone seems to be advancing but him. He’s tragically sad and I hate to say that I’ve been there. I feel like I know Takumi and that sounds stupid but it’s why I love him so much. The fact he tries to fucking kill himself is like. Shit. The fact that he succeeds in bad end???? Shit fuck. I sort of wanted to put Xander here but I relate to Takumi a lot more. I don’t know why I didn’t think of him first. I love him.

Star Ocean ⇨ Ronyx J. Kenny

My. Fucking. Husband. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌 I love this dork he is amazing and fun and awkward and I love him. Like, husbando levels of love. I would kiss this man without question. He’s wonderful. I love his personality and the way he handles things. He might say something wrong and be awkward about it but he fixes it and learns from it. He’s understanding and kind and just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I want to marry him please I will be Claude’s mom right now. On top of having the hottest voice ever in the PSP version holy shit. That’s my man right there. Right there. Ugh. My fucking husband. I would pick him over Gaius. That’s how much I love this man.

Blue Exorcist ⇨ Amaimon

Sometimes I just like a character for them being wholly unhelpful and funny and kind of useless and rude. Amaimon is this. I adore him. I love how he chews on things and gets into everything and annoys his big brother. He’s just good and wholesome fun. He’s my aesthetic down to a T. He’s subservient to his aniiue and acts like a puppy dog and needs a fucking bath. He’s stupid and irreverent and lovely. I want him to pick on Rin forever and then whine to Mephisto about it. Luv that demon.

#this is long #i had a feel #mentions of child abuse and suicide

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lacyhemsmire-blog · 5 years

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*** Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? + -- If they aren't, they can fuck off. :P Not only am I an adult but I don’t live with them and they have absolutely no say in my choices anymore. Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? + -- I don't like surprise visitors. Especially since I walk around the house in my underwear. Where are the following people and what are they doing: mom, dad, sibling(s), best friend, significant other, ex, and last person you kissed? + -- I don't know. My husband is playing Destiny. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? + -- He's my husband. What was the last thing someone else bought for you? + -- Uhhhhhaljdsfglkfh.m I don't know. If your parents looked in your purse/book bag would they find anything you don’t want them to see? What about your bedroom? Do you have anything hidden in there? + -- I don't really carry a purse oops. But no, there's nothing hidden. How close are you to the last person you hung out with? Can you be your complete self around them? + -- I haven't hung out with anybody in years. If you decided to call your ex right now, do you think he/she would answer? How would the conversation go? + -- No. Are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? + -- That's my husband. Somehow I acquired a husband but have one friend. Oof Is music a daily part of your life? + -- I listen to music, yes. But it's not "my lifeline" or anything like that. Yellow nail polish: yes or no? + -- Knock yourself out, man. What do you think of country music? + -- I liked some country music as a kid. The Thunder Rolls, That Summer, Fancy, Standing Outside the Fire. I LIKED GARTH BROOKS APPARENTLY OOF. But country music now? I'm sorry. It's so bad. Have you ever ended a relationship but wish you could’ve kept it a little longer? + -- No. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? + -- No. If you could live the last three months over again, is there anything you’d change? + -- Of course, but that's not how it works. Who was the last person to message you on Facebook? What would you do if that person told you they have feelings for you? + -- I'm pretty sure it was a family member. Please no. How did you feel when you woke up today? + -- Like death. And not in a good way. ;) Who was the first person you talked to today? What did you talk about? + -- My husband. And it was probably mumbling to each other because we have to get up at the same time for work and we were both exhausted. Heh. When you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order? + -- I don't wear makeup. Did you do anything sexual last night? + -- Nah. Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? + -- My 60 something-year-old married aunt? Really? Did any of your friends lose their virginity before they were 16? If so, did you feel pressured to do the same? + -- I never felt pressured to lose my virginity. Probably because everyone hated me and thought I was hideous. Okay, maybe because my brain was focused on whatever game I was playing through. Hahahaha. Has someone of the opposite sex made you smile today? + -- Yes. Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes? + -- I can't handle cigarette smoke and vape smoke smells gross to me. The marijuana in this town smells like dead skunk (I've smelled better strains) and makes me very sick to my stomach. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? + -- Husband Do you like where you are in life right now? + -- I'm working on it. *** Do you hate it when there is a fly around you? + -- It's annoying. Is your mom overbearing? + -- She's extremely, EXTREMELY religious and I just ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa What is the closest object to you that is orange? + -- Uhhhh. A cat How about blue? + -- A pen What is your favorite clothing store? + -- I don't have one. Honestly I have less than ten shirts and they're all solid colors. Lmao. Do you wear a cross? + -- Why? What is your opinion on Arby's? + -- I liked their curly fries. But I haven't been in over a decade. What is your favorite kind of chapstick? + -- ... Uhhhh what's it called. Crazy Rumors. How often do you get disappointed? + -- More often than I should. What does your bathing suit look like? + -- I don't have one. ._. Is there snow where you live? + -- Not now. Do you hate having a top friends? + -- Old survey, whoop whoop. When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? + -- I DO! The goal is to make it Halloween themed. P: It's gonna be great! But that won't be for another year at least due to money. Sigh. Why do we have to learn our own language? + -- ... I mean. You probably ought to because that's how you first learn to communicate with your family beyond screaming and flailing. Do you have a space heater? + -- No. What is your favorite doughnut? + -- Peanut butter frosted. But I haven't had a donut since going vegan because I don't have a donut pan and they don't sell vegan donuts in my city. u___u Do the LED lights of a digital clock fascinate you? + -- Maybe as a child. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? + -- We had an inflatable a year or so ago. It was awful. Where is your best friend right now? + -- Hmm. What is your favorite baseball team? + -- I'm not into baseball. How has your day been? + -- I'm tired. Do you smile at random people, hoping to brighten their day? + -- I've been told I look creepy when I smile. .. THEN AGAIN MAYBE I LIKE CREEPING PEOPLE OUT OR SOMETHING. Do you live in a small town? + -- It's a small city. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? + -- I remember seeing some people go on about some guy named Edward Cullen so I asked. And they told me about this book called Twilight. And I just... "...Guys you do realize that when you read a book you automatically visualize his looks so he's going to look slightly different to each person?" And I just get SHAMED. I picked up the book and it was ... eh. I've read better. THEN SUDDENLY IT WAS A PHENOMENON and I just stopped caring because I don't understand at all. What is your favorite party game? + -- Cards Against Humanity. What do you think of secrets? + -- They exist. Do you or your parents rake your yard? + -- We don't have any trees in our yard so raking is very minimal. Markers, crayons or colored pencils? + -- PRISMACOLORS (or Copics but those are expensiiiive) What color is your bedroom painted? + -- Right now it's just white. How about your toenails? + -- They aren't painted. Do you wear your shoes in your house? + -- I HATE doing that. But yes, sometimes. Do you prefer T9 or a keyboard? + -- On a phone? Probably a keyboard because touchscreens anger me. What do you think of Old Navy’s new flip flop style? + -- I don't caaaaaaaaaaaaare Were you pro-Obama? + -- I mean, sure. It's still a huge game anyway. u_u Do you sometimes hate being from America? + -- Aha, sometimes? In all honesty, I want to move out of the country, but I feel like it's my responsibility to help FIX it. And running away won't fix anything. What is your favorite holiday? + -- Halloween. It's the only time of year I CAN BE MYSELF Are you currently single or in a relationship? + -- Married. What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? + -- I've been in a B&BW twice. :| It's too cramped in there. From Pink? + -- Never been. Do you like XBox or Wii better? + -- Ehh. Switch. For me the order is: PC, Switch, Xbox, Playstation.

#surveys

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