#need to go get the benefits ball rolling... been meaning too I've just felt like I've been drowning lately | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mha-smipy07 · 3 years

Text

warnings: SMUT, oral (both m/f receiving but m more than f), unprotected sex, language, isn't really a warning but i'm making a part two to this that will be shorter and idk when it will be out.

paring: akaashi keiji x fem!reader

A/n: hii i haven't written anything on here like this before so i hope you like it and feedback would be great or any tips for my writing

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

you on your way to the new apartment that your looking at moving in to meet your roommate. you've been looking for a place to move into scene you can't live in a hotel and your parents don't want you living with them now that your in college and dorms where to much monye. being beyond excited about this, like come on 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment that has everything you need and only $300 a month? can't get better than that.

but little did you know you'd be getting a new best friend with benefits.

when you got to the apartment was clean and smelled like? cotton candy? there was a big couch, with a tv in front of it. there's a good sized kitchen with an island.

"so thats my room and that would be your room" he points to the 2 doors, and one is open with you assume is his because the room is somewhat decorated.

"so where's the bathroom?" you ask opening the bedroom door. looking around. there's one two doors in the room next to each other.

"ya one down side is the bathroom is connected between our rooms, and there's no other way to get into it." Akaashi opened one of the 2 doors and there was a bathroom with a shower that takes up one side and the other had a counter and a toilet next to it.

"oh ok" you opened the other door and it's a closet, "i like this place and it's only $300 a month?" you asked looking at Akaashi as he nodded and gives a little yep.

you signed some papers and on you where to moving you shiz in here. Akaashi offered to help move your stuff over and you agreed and the 2 over you headed over your your parents house.

that's was it within 5 hours all your stuff was in your new shared apartment. the house itself was amazing but akaashi was another bonus, tall, nice, respectful, strong, and unbelievably cute and hot.

"un going to order some take out you want some?" he offers as you were organizing your new room.

"um ya sure" you agree and go to grab your wallet but Akaashi stopped you saying he's paying. you tell him what you want trying to keep it cheap.

when he got ack with the food he put it on the coffee table and pulled it closer to the couch. "oh ya i didn't feel a need to have a dining table because i've always watched tv when eating, it's that ok?" he almost looked embarrassed.

"ya ya thats ok dont worry" you fell back onto the couch next to him and turned on the tv. you guys were just eating and getting to know each other

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

you and Akaashi have lived together for about 6 months now and without a doubt you have a thing for him. you can't help but let your eyes wanted his body whenever her comes out of his room with some lose sweatpants and no shirt. you could look at him and tell he was an athlete.

every night you two sat on the couch and ate dinner with each other and tonight your gonna try and make a move. you made home made pizza and put the 2 pizzas you made on the coffee table.

"we should watch a horror movie tonight" you said with a smirk on your face. Akaashi look a little surprised because he didn't think you where one for scary movies but he would never turn down a horror movie so he agreed.

he picked the movie and you went to change. you changed into shorts that barely covers your ass, and a cropped tank top. you walked out and dropped your phone, you'd like to say on purpose but it was a accident. but you took advantage of it and bent over in front of Akaashi.

"sorry," you apologize and try your hardest to just give a small smile. you sat a little closer than you normally do. he never questioned your outfit choice because it was a hot due to the broken AC that your waiting to get money too fix. and to be far he was in nothing but some gym shorts and a thin tank top.

you two ate and watch the movie. you started moving closer to him so you where touching his arm. the window was open and a cold breeze came through, so you grabbed a blanket and put it over yourself but Akaashi took some of it and threw it over his legs, throwing his arm over your shoulder pulling your closer.

after about 5 mins you shyly placed your hand in his thigh and he let out a giggle. you could feel his breath on your neck and behind your ear.

"your not that sneaky honey, i know exactly what your trying to do" Akaashi's breath was hot against your skin and his words make your breath get stuck in your throat

"w-what do you mean?" you try playing stupid. "you want me to fuck you dont you? your plan was to turn me on with that little out fit and then bending over in front of me. now putting you hand on your thigh."

you swallow thickly and tried to talk but was cut off

"well your little plan kinda worked. because you do look hella cute in this." Akaashi turned you around and pulled you on to him lap with one swift motion. "know tell me, am i right? you were trying to make me want you?"

you gave a little nod and when you tried to move in to a more comfortable position you felt his semi-hard length on your clothed cunt.

"use your word." his voice was stern and deep. you managed a small "y-yes" out of your throat and you bit your lip. Akaashi smirked and started kissing your neck.

" it was obvious you had a thing for me after like 2 months of you living with me, but i don't mind this" he said against your neck in between kisses. he started sucking softly leaving small red circles on your neck that would be gone by the time you go to sleep.

he hit a soft spot which made you moan a little, encouraging him to suck and bit around that area. you subconsciously started grinding your hips down on to his.

"oo so eager are we?" he asked and let out a small laugh before putting his hands under your shirt. his eyes ask if he can take it off and you give a nod before he threw the shirt across the room.

you started kissing his neck and the grinding of your hips for faster making him hiss a little. you started tugging at his tank top before taking to off him. he unclips your bra and takes it off in seconds, his mouth finding your nipple he started kissing and sucking on it.

he tugged on your shorts and you took those off along with your underwear and he took off his shorts so he was in boxers. you slid off the couch and in between his legs on your knees.

"can i?" you asked hooking your finger around the hem of the boxers on him. he nodded and put his hips up so you could slip them off easily. his cock swung against his stomach and you couldn't wait to feel how heavy he is in your mouth.

you grabbed his cock and wrapped your hand around him. taking a finger from your other hand you pick up the bead of pre cum on the tip of your finger and licked it. your eyes could have rolled to the back of your head just from the taste of him.

you wasted no time putting him in your mouth. he was so heavy on your tongue, but you swirl your tongue around his tip and sucked a little before pushing almost all of him your into mouth in one go. he touched the back of your throat making him throw his head back and let out a short sting of moans. he grabs your hair into a ponytail as you started to set your pace.

"ahh- fuck im gonna come" he warned trying to pull out but you pushed your head down farther and squeezed his balls a little and he came in your mouth.

you looked up at him and swallowed all his seed. you got back up of the couch, straddling his leg and kissed his deeply so he could taste himself on you. he grabbed the back of your head and pushed you closer to him.

his hand creeped between your legs and started playing with your clit making you moan against his lips. he dipped a finger in to your dripping cunt and put his finger in his mouth.

"fuck you are so wet, you liked sucking me off didn't you?" he asked and got a cocky smile. you started grinding against his cock thats now hard again.

"you want me inside you?" he whispered into your ear, in which you nodded as a response. he let out a small chuckle and lifted you up and guided himself in you.

you let out a moan as you slid down his shaft and after you agusted it his size he started bouncing you on his dick. "n-never did i think i-id be fucking you o-on the couch" Akaashi struggled to say between grunts and shaky breaths.

"mm nether did i- ahh fuck right there!" you threw your head back has he hit that soft spot in you. Akaashi adjusted his position under you so he could hold you up and pound into you.

his thrust where sharp and fast. you were so close to your release your eyes started watering because how hard he was going somewhat hurt but the pleasure of your orgasim hit you as you clenched around his cock making him come at the same time.

"ahh damnn fuckk- oh my god" you both stammered out as both of you where trying to come down from your high. after Akaashi got a hold of his breath he got up bringing you with him to his bedroom.

"i hope your ready for more." Akaashi breathed in your ear. he was still half way in you and you tried to move on him but you couldn't. so you started kissing on his neck.

he threw you on his bed and grabbed a tie off his chair. he grabbed your wrist and kissed them before flipping you on your hands and knees pulling a little yelp from you. he tried your wrist together then spread thighs apart.

"you know you have such a pretty pussy, 'm kinda bummed i didn't get to taste it before i came in you,- but now- i came taste myself on you with i like to." his lewd words made you arch your back just a enough he had better access to your throbbing pussy.

he licked a long stripe against your folds, dipping his tongue in you to catch some of his cum on his tongue. after getting his seed on his tongue he licked up your back leaving goosebumps behind.

he quickly returned to your exposed cunt giving it kisses and licking down to your clit to circle his tongue around. damn he was good with his mouth because it didn't take long before you were ready to fall apart and come undone.

"f-fuck akaash im close mm~" you moan as you open your legs more but he stopped. he started kissing and sucking on the back of your thigh and up your ass. before you could look back at him he slammed himself into you.

his pace was ruthless, and the power he had behind his hips was crazy. you were amazed by how loud you were being. all that came out of your mouth was broken moans and slobber collecting on his bed sheets. the new position aloud you to feel every vein and curve of his dick.

he slowed down the pace to where he was barely moving, just grinding his hip into yours.

"f- faster" was all you could utter due to your fizzy head. Akaashi bent over your back to whisper in your ear "come on now, your gonna have to beg for me to go faster darling. but god your pussy is so comfortable" he kissed your neck.

"come on please keiji please go faster i need you" you wine throwing your head back, your turned your head around to look at him. god he was beautiful with his cock lazily moving in and out of you and his shit eating grin on his perfect face.

he reagusted himself and pushed your back down, making you arch it more. the arch was a little uncomfortable but it was long forgotten when your roommate started pounding in to you. after he had a steady pace set you couldn't even make any noise, no moans no nothing. all you could do was sit there and roll your eyes to your brain as Akaashi abused your organs.

"this what you were begging me for right?" keiji bent over you, his sweaty chest on your back as he started kissing and biting at your neck. "you where being such a slut earlier, where did all the big talk go uh?" he taunted you. he moved his hand down to your clit and started rubbing harsh circles around the nevres.

"ah- kashi- t-to much" you wine and wrinkle your face. your lower half burnt so bad but it felt so fucking good. you needed to cum.

"shut up and take it whore." he grabbed your hits for leverage as he pounded into you harders and reassessed for the last time, this time hitting the soft spot that makes you cum every time without fail, over , over and over again.

"'m cl'close, mmm right there f-uck you feel so good" you moan and shoved your head into the bed. you were embarrassed by how you said those kinds of things to him without even thinking, you have never in your life said things like that.

meanwhile when your being embarrassed Akaashi is making it his mission to making you come again. he snuck his hand down your front and to your clit making soft movements. you started moving your hips to meet his and you felt the buildup of pleasure burst inside you. Akaashi growled as you tightened around him.

"mmm god fuck 'm close baby" he actually moaned throwing his head back. his thrust where hard short and fast but it only lasted for 30 secs before he was shooting his seed in you.

he flopped over next to you, trying to calm his breath. he pulled you on to his so that you were laying on his side with your head on his chest. wrapping his arms around you he kissed your head.

out of nowhere he shot up and started carrying you into the bathroom and started filling the bath.

"uh what are you doing?" you asked with a small confused smile. he turned around and looked at you confused "um in cleaning you up, that's what guys normally do after sex" he kissed your cheek and lowed you into the water then sitting behind you.

"oh, no one has done this before" you said looked and playing the the water.

Akaashi wrapped his arms around you resting his chin on your shoulder "well then i think those guys are shitty and don't know how to treat a woman good" you turned around and looked at him with a small smile.

grabbing some soap and a washcloth Akaashi clean you head to toe, making sure not to get any in you when watching his cum out of you. "i don't think i have to take the cum out but i always get worried you'll get pregnant for an infection if i don't" he whispered into your ear and kissed your jaw.

when he was dont rinsing you off he grabbed a towel and dried you off. he gave you one of his tee shirts and threw on some boxers before laying down, and pulling you into the same position but with your legs in between his.

"hey, i just want you to know that nothing has to be weird between up after this but just know, um i like you a lot" Akaashi whispered to you but was looking a way trying to avoid eye contact.

"i love you.."

"i love you too y/n"

#akaashi smut #akaashi x y/n #akaashi keji x reader #smut #akaashi haikyuu #im a shit person #im also a shit writer i know #keiji akaashi #akaashi #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu smut

92 notes · View notes

2idiots · 4 years

Text

Keep Yourself Alive

pt. 6 // pt. 7 // pt. 8a

word count: 1,667ish

NCT Frat Social Media AU // College Athlete & Fratboy Lucas x reader

warnings: not really any, kind angsty, more than just mentions of chronic pain

(I don't know how but the second paragraph got deleted when I first uploaded. I have since added it in. So if you see something new that's why)

---

Getting Johnny from outside the building to inside your room was a lot more difficult than you expected. This was partially because your best friend was much drunker than his texts suggested and partially because each step was sending a pain reverberating down your legs and up your abdomen. A pain that you knew the mild over-the-counter pain meds would do little to numb but you had taken them with false hope anyway. Before your best friend had forced you into letting his drunkass in you were curled into your bed with a heating pad pressed into your abdomen, hoping eventually exhaustion would win over excruciating pain.

This was the real reason you bolted out of Jet Lag the minute your friends were off in different directions distracted. The pain had triggered before Mark's open mic night started but you were not about to miss the night you friend had been talking about for weeks. This was so important to him and you had to be there. So you sucked it up and promised yourself to duck out the moment it was clear and Mark had performed. Woo noticing and staying over for a few hours was just a welcomed surprise. And the leftover baked goods he brought were another plus side, not that you had any appetite. At least your blubbering fool of a friend would benefit from the pile of pastries sitting on your desk, if you could make it past the giggling desk attendant.

The first time you walked passed her with bleary eyes, focused on only the task ahead she called out something about the “cute Oppa” at the door. Immediately a gag raced up your throat at that, Johnny? A cute Oppa? Gross. He was like your brother, actually more like your overprotective mother. Sure you joked about Johnny being a daddy, but it was all shits and giggles to make him mad with Mark. He wasn't actually one. The second time she made some sort of pass at him that you blocked out and stifled another gag. You didn’t need to see or hear that child making passes at your best friend.

That wasn’t the only thing she was giggling at though. You and Johnny were quite the sight. He was a stumbling, stuttering fool and you were wearing pajamas that had been picked out in the dark, not even your shoes matched. These were things you had thrown on when Johnny begged you to let him in but your headache was pounding too much to turn the lights on, which was also the reason for the sunglasses.

Speaking of Big Foot, he was using you almost completely as a support and he weighed a lot more than his bony ass looked. How he managed to make it to your building from 7th Sense was beyond you, he could barely make it three steps without giggling and sliding around. Honestly this made you more than a little nervous for Mark, usually he was the giggly one after a few drinks. If Johnny was this drunk, then Mark could very well be dead.

Overall the hardest obstacle for Johnny to maneuver around was your actual room. He tripped over everything. Maybe it was his long spindly legs combined with the alcohol, but he even fell just trying to walk over your rug. You had to catch him before he face planted. Of course he just contiuned blabbering about the night and how well it went the whole time, even while laughing at his clumsiness. “Then Mark fell! Kinda like how he is falling for sunflower boy but like fell… on the actual ground… like how I just almost fell!” To which you just nodded, handing him a pastry and an ice cold water bottle. “And Jae was so funny, he was talking about the basketball team and one of their parties last week where someone drank beer from a ball that had been cut in half. Isn’t that gross?”

“Yeah babe, real gross,” You nodded, trying to push him toward your bed. You might not have been asleep before he messaged but you were still in bed ready to sleep and you wanted to be back there. “Can you get in bed, Jojo? I'll tired.”

Following your direction like a lost lamb, Johnny swiftly removed all his out layers and climbed into your bed continuing to talk about the basketball team and how pretty and funny they were, all the while giving you very pointed looks. Or at least he was prattling on until he went completely silent and tense before screeching, “THERE’S SOMETHING WARM!”

Arms crossed and irritation pulsed through you at the scream, you leaned over to pull the heating pad out from under him and wiggled it around in your outstretched hand, “Johnny you’ve met HP before, HP meet Big Foot.”

“HP? You named your heating pad?” He questioned already snuggling back into your sheets like he owned the bed. This happened every time he was over, sober or drunk it didn’t matter; Johnny took up every blanket and pillow in your entire bed: partially because his size, mostly because he was an asshole. One of the many reasons you were hesitant to let him stay over anymore, even though you always ended up letting him stay.

“Might as well, he’s in my bed so often,” You grinned before grabbing another water bottle out of the mini fridge in the corner of the room and tossing it his direction. While this wasn’t a common occurrence, drunk Johnny, you did know that he would wake up in three hours whining about a dry mouth and you didn't want to deal with it.

“I mean he wasn’t on Halloween.” Luckily you flipped the lights off before you could see his suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Here was the worst part, talkative drunk Johnny taking an interest in your life and trying to lay down his tips on life.

Grabbing an extra blanket for yourself you slid in next to him and laughed that thought off, “Actually HP was, ALSO I thought we agreed to not talk about Halloween, leave the past behind us and all.”

“Behind us? Is that how you like it y/n?” He let out a slight whimper when you turned over enough to give him a solid kick to the shin. This alcohol was giving him far more confidence than normal and you didn’t like it. Throwing his hands up, Johnny tossed out a worthless apology and whined, “I deserved that ok. But you know I wouldn’t call it the past, don’t you tutor the dude?”

That elicited a quiet response from you, a simple, “Yeah.”

“Isn’t it like two or three times a week?” He didn’t stop his incessant babbling long enough for you to answer, adding on, “You’re quite popular, my friends keep asking about you too.” Then a switch suddenly flipped in Johnny’s mind, evident by how he practically climbed over you to switch the lamp back on and give you his best mom glare, “Wait, you’re sleeping with HP?” You let out a few weak protests as the light flooded your room and his bony ass arm squished you down into the bed digging into your side. Drunk friends sucked. Too bad you loved them too much to leave them on the street. “So you’re in pain? You’re in pain and you didn’t say anything? You just went home alone and lied to Mark and me?”

“Johnny I always sleep with a heating pad and I’m always in pain. It's not a big deal.” Tonight just happened to be bad, still was, but you left that part out. “Also Jungwoo just left; I wasn’t alone.” That was accompanied by a successful effort to push him off so you could flip the light off again and snuggle into the heating pad again. “Now go to sleep, I'm tired.”

There was a brief moment of silence before you heard sniffling and an occadsional shuffle.

“Are you crying?” You asked incredulously, flipping over to see him hastily wiping away his tears in the ambient light filtering in through the window. Sure enough, your bitch-ass best friend was laying on the other side of the bed using his white undershirt to wipe his tears away. At least he was smart enough not to use your sheets as the tissue. “Stop crying.” This was new. Your friends probably knew way too much about how hard your days were getting, in fact Johnny had driven you to the ER one too many times over the past year and a half, but they had never cried in front of you. At least not about you.

You hated it.

His immediate response was denial, no he wasn’t crying. These weren’t tears, they were allergies. "Leaks in my face." But you still heard him mutter a muted “I just want you to be happy and not in pain” as the alcohol running through his system finally knocked him out.

You were struck silent, not sure how to respond. Sure he was your closest friend and that meant he had to like you, but this affection made breathing a little hard: your chest not quite expanding like it should. You felt a warm tear roll down your cheek as you turned to face the other side of the room, an effort to get away. This was exactly why you didn't tell them about tonight, you didn't want them burdened with your pain. They should have to suffer just because you were.

Ignoring the ache in your chest, you blindly reached out for where you set your phone on the bedside table. You still may not be able to sleep but you could get some reading done and maybe forget the sound of Johnny's tears. And maybe, just maybe, the words would lull you into some dreamlike state so you could rest. It was only a few minutes into reading that a text interrupted the chapter.

summary: College is hard enough, right? Coursework, two jobs, a social life, and the state of your mental health. As if that was enough now the school’s no.1 athlete won’t leave you alone after a one night stand. And maybe you like him back but you have a tendency to run when life gets too difficult especially now that undiagnosed chronic pain just seems to be getting worse with each passing month.

(I've decided updates will be Thursday at 6pm. I hope you enjoy this chapter)

Taglist: @princeofshenzhenuwus

#nct imagines #nct social media au #nct xuxi #lucas nct #lucas nct imagines #wayv yukhei #wayv imagines #wayv social media au #wayv x reader #wong yukhei #yukhei imagines #yukhei x reader

63 notes · View notes

wrathfulspark · 4 years

Text

@xreznikovx

Tamryn managed to avoid Elidi almost entirely since she had heard her apologize for not being there for the human girl. To Tamryn, the whole reason Elidi had in fact not been there was due to them being away. In the she wolf’s eyes they had nothing to be sorry about. However the entire display that day had shifted Tamryn’s energy entirely towards both the witch and wiccan.

Tamryn often ignored an onslaught of messages from others though she never thought she would find herself to be out right avoiding the efforts of her lover. The very idea warped her perception of the thought as she felt Elidi was to some degree apologetic for their love being in the way. The trip was so much more than just a trip to the she wolf, she was trusting and vulnerable moments that she now felt were unwanted and to some degree devalued. It crippled not only her pride, but her heart, which few were actually able to affect personally. Even though disinterest was the alpha intentions, she couldn’t find herself to actually be done with the witch entirely.

She did love Elidi, which was a rare thing Tamryn had never felt for another before. It was the sole reason when Elidi mentioned meeting up to talk in person that she was more than willing. As she approached the meeting place she held her head and her shoulder higher, her resolve seemed to harden with each step as she finally made eye contact with the witch. Her jaw tensed as her heart fluttered against her will, why was she so weak to this woman? With each step her thoughts faded as she focused more so on the reason they were in this position in the first place. Sitting by her lover’s side she looked directly at her with a stern expression upon her face, her brow arched almost as if she were expecting Elidi to speak first, and was making it clear she didn’t feel the need to speak, the look in her vivid blue hues spoke for itself.

Her gaze darted down to Elidi’s hand upon her knee, how she longed for the touch of her lover, but she would never voice that in the moment. The look she had hid well how much she needed that touch, she appeared more bothered by it than comforted though it was just the level of unphased Tamryn was maintaining, listening to her words she rolled her eyes and finally looked elsewhere as she sat back against the bench,

“You really brought me here to have the same conversation we have been having over texts and not reaching any end point with...You feel sorry too much as of late darling, its an unattractive look for you. You sure seemed to regret it when you said sorry on your knees. You also seemed to forget that she tossed you aside twice for her own benefit, yet you are sorry for not being there for her, where is she ever for you? Like a typical human, she expects forgiveness and understanding when she has done nothing to earn it. I get it Elidi, you see yourself in her, I saw that from the moment you picked her up as a student despite how she is. I also get that her family is gone now, but the issue between us, has nothing to do with her.”

At this point she was now focused directly on Elidi as she spoke,

“It has to do with me now questioning if I was falling for you faster and harder than you appeared to be falling for me. I am not sorry for us not being here. I offered her help when I caught her selling your magic. She denied it, that's on her...But to hear you apologize for not being there for her when the only reason you weren't was because we were together, going through what we through...”

She trailed off and simply growled before looking away again, she refused to show that it affected her deeper than causing her to just question things, sitting upright more she arched a brow,

“You can’t be everywhere at once, that does not mean you have to be sorry for it all the time.”

Tamryn didn't seem all the comforted in her touch, more so bothered, so she withdrew her hand, letting it reside in her lap where her gaze had fallen. Had she really messed everything up already? This was all new to her, it wasn't that bad yet, right? Just for a moment she turns her attention toward the box next to her, brows knitting together, anxiously, scared. She steadily exhaled through her nose, hesitantly lifting bright hues to stare at Tamryn.

She felt the warmth in her cheeks spread at Tamryn's words, her hues narrowing as she felt her temper flare, her hands balling into fists in her lap. The weather threatens to change, the subtle scent of rain in the wind as a breeze blows. No. She was not going to lose control, she wouldn't show it in the slightest. This wasn't about anger or fear. Elidi could manipulate all of it, all but her reddening face. "What does it matter if I am sorry? I'm not trying to be attractive, I'm being apologetic. I apologized to her and I apologized to you. She doesn't need to be there for me, I take care of myself, I am her teacher, she is not mine." Though she says nothing on the matter of how similar her and Kiki exactly were, her fingers tapping together impatiently, gaze momentarily averting. What was wrong with that too?

Tamryn's next words make her heart feel like it's stopped in her chest, her lips settling in a thin line as she turns her attention away from the Alpha completely. "How can you say that?" She asked incredulously after an awkward pause, illuminated hues stared intently at her lover, "It's like me apologizing for not being there for Kiki suddenly erased everything we've gone through together. I do feel bad. Her family is dead! You understand that right? Her mother and grandmother were literally burned to death. You telling me not to feel bad, isn't going to change that, but don't tell me that I wasn't falling for you just as fast, that you're in this deeper than I am." Elidi exhaled a huff, taking in a deep breath once more, her throat aching, "I've been honest with you from the very beginning. At the beach, on our dates, at the compound, in the forest. Hell, I'm the one who said I love you first! Yet it suddenly doesn't matter anymore? You won't even say it back." Digits drummed across her kneecap, "I looked past your former crimes, I covered Jaylah's indiscretions, I helped organize your birthday and..." She inhaled sharply, shaking her head as she broke her gaze, sighing as she rubbed her wrist where the bracelet was.

She bit the inside of her cheek as she stared down at the stone, she wondered if Tamryn could really understand how Elidi felt. Could she feel the ache in her heart, the tight pressure dead center, wanting to press her palm to her chest just to relieve some of the strain. Glossy hues rose to meet Tamryn's, gesturing idly toward the bracelet, another thing she had done for the Alpha.

"... I already told you I don't regret going with you. I loved the trip, I love you, I adored everything about it and more. I said you were my only exception, and I meant it, but I don't.. I am the one who should be asking how you feel." Reaching for the boxes, she set them gently in Tamryn's lap, moving to stuff her hands in her coat pockets. Another hand crafted project, that definitely took her blood and sweat, a tiny storm in a bottle, and one box of chocolates. "Happy Birthday."

#trch:tamryn #her: HOLD TF UP #😭😭😭😭#got me fucked up

4 notes · View notes

volumes2lo-gan · 7 years

Note

Hey so, I've been having a bad time this month because people keep pointing out how bad I am with emotions. So, could you possibly do the side's teasing but then comforting Logan because he doesn't understand emotions, like a hurt/comfort thingy?

I’m sorry to hear about that, I hope that this story helps! I’m not sure where I got the idea for this, but I just kind of rolled with it. If you need any more feel-good fics, don’t be afraid to drop by again! Sending love and good vibes your way~

Puppy Love

Fandom: Sanders SidesPairings: platonic Analogical near the endWarnings: negative self-talk, panic attack

Summary: Logan has emotions, he’s just not very good at expressing them. It doesn’t help that the others often see him as some kind of robot, but he can’t always afford to indulge in emotions when it’s his job to be the logical one. And maybe throwing a dog into the mix wasn’t the best idea.

Tagged: @existental-crises @jordisama @here-to-vent @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @novagalaxy4real @thomas-must-get-to-sleep @emo-space-trash @evanisonfire @lollingtothemax @all-the-fand0mz

“I love him so much!” Patton squealed, ruffling the speckled dog’s ears around in delight. The dog gave a happy bark before licking Patton’s nose. “Awww!! Kisses!” Roman bent down to meet the dog at eye-level.

“Who’s a good prince?” He cooed.

“Well it sure ain’t you,” Virgil quipped, crouching down to pet their new furry friend. Roman scoffed, offended.

“I beg your pardon?”

Virgil shrugged. “He’s obviously an edgelord, check out these spots around his eyes. He’s already trying out my style.” He laughed softly as the dog turned to face him, butting his head into Virgil’s arm until he got a satisfactory amount of pets.

Logan was still standing by the stairs, taking in the situation. Thomas had brought home a dog. Or rather Joan had found a dog and Thomas had convinced them that he could take care of it until it was able to get a proper home. Logan had been running numbers for the last two hours and he wasn’t sure how Thomas would be able to accommodate such a pet on such short notice. However, the others didn’t seem bothered by this, since they’d been preoccupied with cooing over the animal since it had arrived. Thomas had headed upstairs to work on a project, but had entrusted the Sides to watch over his new pet until he was finished.

How could they be so calm in a situation like this? There was a huge variable being thrown into their regular routine and Logan seemed to be the only one worried about the predicament. He stepped forward and cleared his throat, causing the others to look up at him. The dog barked softly in anticipation.

“I know that this is all… exciting,” he said carefully, “but we can’t afford to let Thomas be so reckless. We can’t possibly keep this dog with the current available resources we have.”

Patton jumped to his feet with a gasp. “Logan! I’m surprised at you. Can’t you see how happy he is here? He needs a good home and who’s better with animals than us?” Logan rolled his eyes and fixed his glasses.

“A shelter perhaps? We are not properly equipped to care for this pet. Surely you understand that, Patton?” He could tell he was losing this battle when Roman stood up, protectively putting himself between Logan and the dog.

“After all this poor dog has been through!? Nay, we’re not going to throw him out of another home, so long as I live and breathe!” He held his arms out dramatically as though the dog didn’t just barely reach the back of his knees.

“That isn’t the logical option here, Roman,” he chided, looking to Virgil for help. Virgil just turned his attention back to the dog, suddenly more interested in connecting the dots on the animal’s fur than listening to the conversation. Patton put his hands on his hips and joined Roman in front of the dog.

“We can’t! I love him!” He said, glancing down at the speckled dog adoringly.

“I, too, love and appreciate him. I will lay down my life for him.” Roman added, not lacking in any of his usual drama.

Logan was losing patience. Of course there were studies showing the benefits of having a pet for emotional support, but they were fine as they were. Patton was more than capable of handling Thomas’ emotional support systems and they were all there in case he ever needed an extra hand with things. How could they feel so attached to this animal after only knowing it for a few hours? It didn’t make any sense. But right now it was two against one. If he could get Virgil to side with him, then they’d at least have a decent grounds for debate on the matter.

“Virgil?” Logan asked hopefully. The Anxious Side stopped tracing on the dog’s fur to stare Logan dead in the eye.

“If anything were to happen to this dog, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

That was it. That’s the last straw. How could anyone feel such deep attachments to something they hadn’t known existed until two hours ago? These… these damned emotions. They were just so infuriating.

“Why do you have to make it such a big deal? It’s just an animal, we can always adopt a new one when Thomas is financially prepared.” Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because suddenly Roman was up in arms.

“How dare you. This dog has been a part of our lives for two hours and these have been the best two hours of my life. I wouldn’t expect you to understand though, seeing as how there’s too many ooey gooey emotions for you to block out.”

Logan froze, unable to process what to say. Before he could even register what was happening, Patton had picked up the dog and was cuddling it close to his chest, making sure Logan could see the dog’s large blue eyes.

“It’s okay, puppy, Logan’s just a big ole Grumpy Gus who doesn’t love you yet. He’ll come around though, he’s not entirely a robot… I don’t think?” He added as he handed the dog off to Virgil.

“They’re right, Lo. It’s not that big a deal, not when you get to know him.” Get to know him? They’d literally just found this creature. What was there to know? It’s a dog. Dogs need food and bedding and proper hygiene schedules and… and…

“Maybe he can’t love him, but that won’t stop us,” Roman said, ruffling the dog’s ears gently as it perched in Virgil’s arms. Logan’s throat felt cold and his chest was aching. This– this wasn’t good. He could feel his nerves vibrating as his anger and despair fell out of check. It was too much. They were too much. The last thing he saw before sinking out was four sets of eyes staring at him. Every one of them held some kind of emotion, but he didn’t have time to sort them out as he was encompassed by the dim light of his own room.

He’s not entirely a robot… I don’t think.

I wouldn’t expect you to understand. There’s too many ooey gooey emotions for you to block out.

Maybe he can’t love him.

Logan’s head was spinning and he was now visibly shaking. He tried to steady himself on his armchair, but ended up slipping and falling to the floor instead. It was too much… it was all too much. He tried to keep his emotions in check, but they were seeping out one by one, each more powerful than the last. Anger, Embarrassment, Despair, Confusion. Panic. He was panicking, but it was too late. He’d already lost control and felt his fingertips vibrating as the emotions seeped further into his veins.

You’re an emotionless robot.

How could you understand?

You can’t love or be loved.

The words were being distorted by fear.

COGNITIVE DISTORTION, his mind supplied helpfully. But the panic was setting in, it was too late. Too late. Too late.

COGNITIVEDISTORTIONCOGNITIVEDISTORTIONCOGNITIVEDISTORTION his mind yelled as his thoughts continued to spiral. There was no way out of this, his body continued to shake as he pulled himself into a ball on the floor, searching for some form of comfort on the cold, barren floor.

There was a knock at the door and Logan’s mind began processing the pattern.

Virgil.

Logan didn’t want him to come in. He didn’t want him to see him like this, but his thoughts continued to spiral and his mind continued calling out the fallacies in his logic. He reached out a shaky hand and managed the slightest of snaps to unlock his door. Virgil immediately stumbled in and met Logan’s eyes with an equally matched amount of panic. Patton and Roman were standing in the doorway; Roman looked aghast while Patton held his hand over his mouth, tears welling in his eyes.

“Oh Logan,” he whispered.

Logan felt like he was on fire and freezing at the same time. His skin felt too tight and every new breath of air choked him a little more than the last. He was numbly aware of Virgil kneeling beside him and was barely able to make out what he was saying through his own ragged breathing.

“In for four- 1, 2, 3, 4… Hold for seven- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… Out for eight- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…” Virgil seemed to be choking on his own words, but continued counting nonetheless, beginning to calm himself down in the process.

They continued on like this for a couple of minutes, taking breaks occasionally to simply count what was nearby to help ground themselves. Finally when Logan’s breathing calmed and Virgil was no longer hunched over beside him, the other Sides entered the room cautiously.

“Logan… I’m sorry, I–” Roman started.

“We didn’t mean for–” Patton tried, reaching out for the other Side before thinking better of it and retracting his hand. Logan hunched his shoulders, still willing his emotions back into those little boxes he was able to organize and maintain. He didn’t need them right now, he didn’t need them often. He could store them until the day Thomas decided Logic didn’t need empathy and he could toss them once and for all. He didn’t seem to have them anyways, as the other Sides had so blatantly pointed out.

“No, I’m sure you didn’t.” Damn, there goes Bitterness, Logan thought, mentally boxing that emotion once more.

“It wasn’t right… for us to say those things,” Virgil said, suddenly very interested in the floorboards. “I know you have emotions… It’s just that, well, sometimes we forget to… I don’t know, I’m just trying to say… We shouldn’t have said those things and even if you box up your emotions, it doesn’t mean that they can’t still be hurt.” Logan looked at him, surprised to hear Virgil weighing in so heavily on the matter. Of all of them, he’d expected Patton, but Virgil…

“I can feel them too, you know?” Virgil continued, finally looking at Logan again, a certain sadness in his eye that Logan wasn’t used to seeing. “The bad emotions, the panic, guilt, anxiety. That’s sort of right up my alley.” Logan mentally chided himself. Of course. Virgil could feel whenever any one of them was distressed the same way Roman could sense the start of a good idea or Patton could sense an influx of emotions. Patton had given up the reigns on negativity long ago, so though he was able to feel a shift in emotion if he thought for long enough, for Virgil it was like a punch to the gut.

Roman stepped forward, standing by the armchair beside Logan. “I’m sorry, I got carried away in the heat of the moment and… I know that passion is no excuse, but I hope you’ll forgive me. I promise to be more mindful in the future, that… that wasn’t very noble of me at all,” he finished solemnly. Logan smiled in appreciation.

“I’ll consider it… “ he said. Roman looked crestfallen for a moment before Logan put his hand on his shoulder, “I’ll forgive you this once, but don’t you ever try something like this again.” I’m not sure I could take it.

Roman nodded his head vigorously. “Indeed I shan’t. In fact, we could return the dog tonight if you want, I’m sure that some foster family would love to take care of him.” Logan thought for a moment before shaking his head.

“No, I think, given the right schedule and preparation, Thomas should be able to care for him.” Patton came up beside Virgil and smiled softly at Logan.

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said those things, especially when I knew they weren’t true. Emotions really can be messy and I don’t blame you for keeping them in check like you do. It’s really impressive, actually, how you manage to keep them so organized.”

Logan laughed dryly, “Yeah, you saw how well that helped me.” Patton reached forward and this time did put his hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

“Logan, you’re allowed to use whatever system works for you. So long as it isn’t harmful, if keeping your emotions in check like that is the best way to think logically, then I support you one hundred percent.” Logan smiled, genuinely feeling accepted for the first time in a long time. “Also,” Patton added, “we came up with a name for him if you wanted to weigh in.” Logan raised an eyebrow curiously.

“Okay, so we were thinking… Reese. Short for Reason… you know, like the pieces that come together to make logical decisions?” Patton finished hurriedly, hoping it wasn’t too forward of them to name their new pet after one of Logan’s aspects.

He laughed and the others’ shoulders relaxed as the tense atmosphere melted away.

“Reese… I like it.” There was a soft bark in the distance.

“Well I’m glad,” Roman said, leaning out the door, “because it looks like Reese does too.” The dog came barreling into the room, a little ball of energy. Logan knelt down and scratched Reese’s back as he happily nuzzled his head into Logan’s tie. There was only one logical thing left to do. Logan opened a box and basked in its emotion. Love.

#logan writes #sanders sides #lamp fic #fics #my fic #logan sanders #angst #hurt/comfort #panic attack #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #analogical #I have a headcanon for the Sides that I might go into later #it's been referenced in at least two of my fics now

636 notes · View notes