#neither of which is ideal

[theswedishpajas]

Kinda fucked up that baby oil can make your skin burn????? What the fuck.

#rambles #ichthyosis vulgaris #skin disorder #thought that fucker was supposed to moisten me not dry me out #it’s only burning on the back of my knees #the same place it usually burns when I’m drying up from being in water or if I’m wearing airy pants and moving around a lot #I wanted to try this again to see if it had any lasting effect #I’m about to take my bi-weekly 2 hour bath so like #I’ll wash it all off soon (mostly) #I wanna know if it’ll help with the winter this year somehow #since sweden gets really dry and cold winters #either that or super wet winters #neither of which is ideal #another fucked up thing is that water dries you out as well.

[banamine-bananime]

my concept of donut is like, he should be on a 1960s white america boyscouts poster but like, goofy about it. do you get what i mean.

like to me donut was basically cooked up in a lab to be a parody of the Good Ol’ Boy Back When Boys Were Real Boys who played outside all day with friends smacking each other with sticks playing space cowboys and aliens, rubbing dirt in all his cuts and knowing big boys repress all their emotions except Boisterousness, always says his yes maams and yes sirs and never questions authority (but also, y’know, boys will be boys so of course they’re up to Mischief when unsupervised, a bit of chaotic and violent rule-breaking fun is all fine and good as long as they’re respectful to authority and just accept their punishment with an “awwww, man! Shucks!” in the end).

a parody because it plays up how someone genuinely like that probably must be pretty stupid/oblivious/gullible to be so pliable to authority and follow dumb norms of “what is a nice polite young man supposed to act like” without any thought into “wait, what makes this something it’s important or nice to do? are there perhaps other things i could focus on doing that would actually be more important or nice to do? do i actually get or care what being nice and doing good is, or do i just like doing whatever i want without having to think about Ethics and then having a very easy set of rules of How To Be Nice to follow”.

and also a parody because he also is like, extremely gay, and he literally just does what he wants and acts how he wants and it’s simultaneously ^that whole Good Ol’ Boy thing and the most flamboyant stereotypically gay mannerisms and hobbies you’ve seen in your life. and he just fully lacks the interest in doing any reflection that would lead him to conclude anyone might see these as rather contradictory or subverting expectations. he’s exposed both to norms of good behaviour coming from conservative places and from progressive places and doesn’t really think about these perhaps being conflicting ethos, he just grabs this random patchwork of “hey this is something someone told me yayyyy :)”. he can enthusiastically follow the letter of many laws rooted in heteronormativity and toxic masculinity and also the letter of laws coming from Progressive Ideals but he fully does not give a shit to consider whether there might be a bigger spirit to any of those laws. dumbitchitis got him immune to internalized homophobia (no he isn’t actually. but he is quite certain that just Not Thinking About It means any negative emotions don’t exist. this is a foundational truth to donut’s understanding of the universe)

what i’m saying is donut should simultaneously give the impression of walking straight off a cheery WWI Join The Troops poster or 1960s boy scouts ad, but also of being absolutely A Pansy of the same era, but also of being the kind of modern queer who says “be gay do crime” not because they’ve given two seconds of thought to prison abolition but because they find doing crime really fun

#i know this is in line with neither the popular fandom interpretations of donut nor where they went with his character in later seasons #but his character has been so all over the place chaotic over the years which to me really speaks to just having no firm sense of ideals or #self and being highly highly impressionable and easy to influence and changing depending on who he’s with and Whims #and overall really my favourite donut is early seasons donut. i do not think he should be liberated of gender norms due to wokeness #he should be liberated of gender norms by how Soundly Fucking Asleep he is. zzzzz mimimi 💅 #rvb #red vs blue #donut #donut rvb #alexa send post

[clowndensation]

x if anything about this feels like it doesn't fit, that's because you don't understand the profound effect charoum and gorty have had on each other.

#'vinnie why is gortash's icon a pink crown that says 'princess' on it?' #how about we stop talking for a little while. #key points: i don't think you can want to become archduke of bg and NOT crave attention. he wants to be the specialest guy in the universe #however his desire for attention is an ego thing. #charoum wants attention because he am feel uncomfortable when things are not about him? #similarly gorty is definitely MORE cautious than charoum. but you can't be TOO cautious and also want to take over the world. #recklessness is required to accomplish big things. #charoum is overconfident and believes he can be reckless and survive so he's further on the scale than gorty #similarly taking over the world is not something a typically exhausted person undertakes. that requires energy. #kinky/vanilla TBH i don't think gorty particularly cares. he needs to be mentally engaged. everything else depends on the other person #that said i don't think he'd be mentally engaged with a person who's ideal sex life is missionary sex with the lights off. so. #also jealousy: neither of them is ACTUALLY that jealous because they have egos the size of the sun and are certain they hold an important #place in each other's lives #charoum randomly decides to get jealous when he's bored and in the mood to be annoying #gorty almost full stop doesn't get jealous at all. although he will get possessive at times and force that onto charoum #which i'm lumping into the jealousy stat #ascended astarion i GENUINELY don't think has what it takes to worship anybody. #however there's a hole in the triumvirate that needs filling. and by god if ascended astarion doesn't know how to fill a hole- #charoum

[faresong]

2024 summary. slow year.

#my art #folder #summary #// #i feel as though i've either stagnated or gotten worse. neither of which are ideal. but i digress.

[officialpenisenvy]

you guys know i have what i can charitably call. Very Complex feelings about my own gender and presentation. but one thing i know and love about this bitch of an earth is that there's cis women with absolute washboards for titties. just nothing going on in the chest department not even a hint of a swell. which sincerely gives me so much hope for my ideal future presentation of "masculine woman with a flat chest who can easily be mistaken/pass for a guy"

#im neither a man nor a woman inside but i don't see the point in doing the wishy washy gender metaphysics ~feelings~ talk for myself #i don't FEEL any which way. i know what i WANT which is 1) to exhibit some degree of maleness and 2) to belong in the lesbian dating pool #well ideally i also want a penis but it doesn't rain phalloplasties around here. but yeah back to my point #so yeah an option i have found that preserves some degree of social “acceptance” as well as fulfills both of my wants is to get top surgery #and just live life as a quite masculine flat-chested woman. and if i change my mind and decide to transition i will cut them off anyways so #i also want to microdose black market T simply because it feels like a fun story to tell. haha that time i bought testo from roidbazaar. yk #but that's not AS important as getting the girlies out of the way.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

.

#still not over the insane george orwell post that got reblogged onto my dash yesterday #i unfollowed the person who reblogged it #because either A) theyre a tankie or B) their criticial thinking skills are sub-fucking-zero #like 1) the OP of that post was just copying Hakims awful video on Orwell #2) to read animal farm and come out of it with the interpretation that Orwell was saying that the animals and hence the proletariat in the #USSR were just innately unintelligent shows a reading comprehension so bad its not even like piss poor. its piss impoverished #3) if a post is like ''also look X said Y Bad Thing'' without providing any of the context as to where that quote comes from theyre likely #being deliberately mishonest. it is easy to take someone out if context to make it look like they were saying something they werent which is #exactly what the OP of that post was doing. they took one sentence of Orwells writing on the nazis and Hitler to make it look like Orwell #thought Hitler was a swell guy when actually Orwells writing was about the dangers of charismatic tyrants like Hitler and their rhetoric #the entire thing was about how Hitler was able to amass such power and popularity and use that to his advantage #not every despot is so easy to pick out as dangerous or so easy to detest. hitler was hardly the first charismatic tyrant in history #OP also conveniently left out the fact that like the next sentence is orwell being like yeah no i would fucking kill this man which wow #thats a glaring omission. imagine if people decided to look up what OP was refetencing to verify irs veracity #4) OP does not mention that Orwell fought in La Guerra Civil alongside communists and socialists and anarchists etc. #he fought against the nationalists. he took a bullet to the neck during the fight. he was very much against francisco franco and his fascist #regime who were allied with Hitler and the Nazis #mentioning orwells participation in the spanish civil war really undercuts any of those arguments #5) you know who was actually allied with Hitler and Nazi Germany? STALIN #at the beginning of WWII the soviet union and nazi germany were in alliance. stalin and hitler did not have fundamental ideological #differences. if hitler had not betrayed stalin the soviet union would not have joined the allied powers #your uwu anti-fascist communist idol joseph fucking stalin was joseph fucking stalin. he was a fascist dictator whose actions deliberately #caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. he like vladimir lenin before him did not care for the ideals of marx #marxism leninism is a meaningless political ideology #the soviet union was not a communist paradise. neither stalin not lenin cared about the proletariat #i said this in my tag ramble yesterday but if you want to see a leader who actually followed marxist ideals go look up thomas sankara #im just rambling in the tags today to get out the lingering frustration i have

[the-sound-of-her-wings]

I think marking the fall of Shady Sands as 2277 is actually kind of compelling.

My current non-cynical theory is that the historians of Vault 4 decided that the First Battle of Hoover Dam marked the beginning of the downfall of the NCR and Shady Sands. They won that battle! But at what cost, exactly?

The NCR's position in New Vegas was already tenuous at best before the battle. What they thought would be an easy annex turned out to be very complicated. They fought the Brotherhood of Steel for Helios 1 but fucked up and couldn't even access the resource. The awakening of the Hopeville and Ashton silos destroyed one of the few supply lines into and out of New Vegas. They shunned a potential ally in the Followers of the Apocalypse upon receiving criticism.

Their attempted annexation of the region was failing by 2281, which only weakens their position back home, not strengthens it. Kimball and his government's lack of restrictions and continued foray into New Vegas and the surrounding areas to search for and supply power to people back home almost certainly contributed to its downfall. Which leads me to believe that the canon of the show, although not yet confirmed in any capacity, is that the NCR loses the 2nd Battle of Hoover Dam.

It would be unlikely that Kimball stays in power if they lost control of the Dam. The NCR would be forced to withdraw, losing all of the power in the region that they were sending back home to Shady Sands. The value of its dollar, already only at 40% of a cap, would certainly plummet. With a loss of a main source of power (both actual electricity and dominance through being beaten by house/the legion/yes man), Shady Sands is almost certainly on the decline by the time it gets nuked.

#fallout #fallout tv spoilers #the failure of all factions in fallout is that they keep trying to recreate specific aspects of america without addressing their flaws #the NCR is a representation of both american liberal ideals as well as older colonialist sentiments #neither of which the NCR has really addressed the flaws of #it is simultaneously too careful about trying to strike down clear threats when they are weak #harkening back to failures at the federal level to prevent the civil war #and too reckless about attempting to colonize land that “didn't belong to anyone” #see westward and southern expansisons and our long violent history of slaughtering countless native americans #am i giving both the show and the games more credit than they deserve for this? almost certainly #but that's part of why fandom exists imo. to expand on and make connections when the source material doesn't give answers

[alltimefail]

As a diehard Byler, I personally haven't cared about the Stranger Things reddit "worst ship" poll going on (and I'm sure many of you feel the same way). I have found it silly how worked up people seem over there because people are *checks notes* um... voting. In the public poll. Many times they're even voting in line with what the comments want (so in agreement with the redditors) but somehow having a shared opinion is... unionizing? Idk lmao it's just very funny to me!!! (Especially because I honestly think the current final 4 make the most sense.)

That being said, I have to admit that I'm lowkey excited to FINALLY vote Jancy out. Praying it is their time to go. 🙌

(I promise I don't hate Nancy/Jonathan/or Steve. My jumbled thoughts are in the tags, please ignore any typos I noticed later and was too lazy to fix.)

#if Byler made it far that was a cool bonus #at this point I just want to see both of Nancy's ships go away because frankly... #I dislike both Stancy and Jancy. I'm sorry but it is true #neither ship makes anyone involved better or happier imo 😬 #my ideal ending for both El AND Nancy is that they girlboss on their own for a while #Jonathan's characterization has been dedicated to that ship for TOO LONG and he's too good of a #character to have him only serve as Nancy's boyfriend #and I'm sorry but the fact that she is still unsure or confused between the two tells me she should just #worry about herself!! She should just focus on her ambition and follow her intuition which is telling her two be with neither of them imo #she likes things about both of them I think and I do think she loves Jonathan #but I just don't think their long term goals and current state of their relationship is indicative of a relationship built to last #and that's okay!!! sometimes when you love someone you come to a point that the truest act of love you can give is letting them go!! #anyway long explanation to say... Steve and Nancy and Jonathan are all better characters independent of their relationships #I'm hoping Jancy goes next. It's my truth and I'm gonna speak it (even if I know it is unpopular lol) #stranger things #reddit ship poll #st reddit ship elimination #st reddit #byler #<- target audience

[soldier-poet-king]

I am very good at my job but also I feel too stupid for my job and I'm afraid of being fired even tho I'm contract so by DEFINITION my employment is going to end this year anyway and it's just????

#anyway. #workposting #im in that weird in between between traditional archival work and IT preservation work #and my ideal is digital archives work #but i dont have enough experience and i feel stupid like i dont know enough computer shit #and im constantly googling shit to figure out these new open source software ive not used before #which is fine except that the it guy doesnt trust me and i have 0 admin righrs on my work pc and im SO limited #and my boss doesnt understand SHIT abt digital archiving. so its like. #im translating archive speak for the it guy and tech speak for my boss #but no one trusts me bc im so young and out of school #and to be fair i know MORE digital expertise than most ppl in archives and library fields #since that was my speciality for my coursework #but i know so much less than ACTUAL SPECIALISTS and tech ppl #so i feel like i need to like. do a compsci boot camp or else I'm a fraud #or just be left alone for a month with full admin privileges #and ill figure it out. and itll end well #but i need TIME and AUTHORITY #ive been given neither

[lavenoon]

🧡- close friend

where's the heart emoji for "I want to bite you(affectionate)"

Thank you for the perfect reaction image Zelda I knew it would come in handy <333 Need no heart emoji, we can just gnaw on each other!!

#answer let luce #zelda7999 #ask game #kisses you but watch out! always close to friendly biting <3 #i had another affectionate biting one but that was of someone crouching on the ground on their knees #the shakey feral one yknow #which neither of us should do ideally u even less than me #and i had this one which applies to both of us so <3 #hehehe

[aeide-thea]

somebody i follow for fandom reasons was talking about having bought an adult tricycle, and it got me wondering abt pros and cons and why adult tricycles aren't more of a Thing, so i did some reading and got halfway thru a very talky post laying them out and then abruptly realized: none of u care, lol. like dgmw i'm sure a number of u would very nicely click the lil heart like the collection of good eggs u are but like. what would i be achieving by writing that up. this is not a bicycle interest community.

(short version is that a bicycle behaves more like it's part of yr body in a variety of ways, and so as long as yr body works well—big 'if' obviously!—that often makes for a smoother and more intuitive ride: balance around corners is the really big thing here, but also tricycles apparently require you to (1) compensate for road camber with yr steering; (2) keep three different wheel trajectories clear of surface hazards instead of just one; and (3) remember that the vehicle you're maneuvering is wider than your body and requires more clearance. that said, if you have trouble balancing on two wheels, and/or srs bzns Cargo to carry, then a trike may be the bike for you!)

(ok obviously i lied abt not making that post but i guess i really wanted to make it so. there u are. click the lil heart like a good 🥚.)

#a trike is definitely not the bike for me bc i would not do a good job of keeping track of my back wheels #also i'm imagining trying to get around on one in NYC and like. no thank u lol #but probably in a chill wide country setting you could do a full grocery run on a trike instead of just a couple bags max #on the other hand frequent small grocery trips are my jam bc i hate preplanning #so like. Depends on Yr Parameters and Objectives as with. most things really #ok also if we're being VERY honest a tricycle would not be gender-affirming 4 me personally #like. my gender associations around bicycles are FULLY redacted here bc they are NOT revolutionary in the slightest #and none of u need that shit #but. 4 me personally... i want a sporty boy bike. even when i wore dresses ever i wanted a sporty boy bike. it's dumb but there you have it. #(briefly i had my ideal bike which was obnoxious acid green and then it got stolen from outside sloan kettering) #(which like. truly a bad day. yr mother is dying AND yr bike gets stolen. one problem clearly bigger than the other but neither one fun!) #(the one i have now is‚ like‚ sparkly unicorn white bc that's the color that was on sale but what can you do) #(i was half-tempted to get myself a new fancy one as a gradumatation present—which i still haven't done anything to recognize‚ lol— #but i really haven't had this one long enough for that to be reasonable. it's fine i'm just like. living a very vanyel life lmao) #in conclusion writing all this has made me realize i GOTTA bicycle more. i've atrophied into SUCH a limp noodle and i miss it awfully #it's just like. i'm always tired. :( #right ok this uh. this sure has been a post. thx for spending this time with me!

[meowthiroth]

had to drop like $1k on pc parts today and clicking that place order button just felt like

#it was technically supposed to be less but I had to sub in a couple more expensive parts due to availability #i finally quit my restaurant job bc I was just. sick of being so damn tired and sore all the time #problem is almost every job around here is either Like That or deals heavily with customers. neither of which is ideal for me #I’m considering just going full time into art commissions #instead of trying to juggle them with some shitass job that saps all my energy & stops me from drawing #but my current computer setup is EXTREMELY underpowered and old and im definitely gonna need a beefier setup if I go that route #i had the money to cover it but just. fucking ouch #ace screams into the void

[crowleyaj]

am I seriously considering learning how to drive after years of not wanting to? guess I am,,

#sofi.txt #about me #text #listen i never did bc neither of my parents has a licence and we've never had or needed (or could afford) a car #and i always thought it was too difficult and too much trouble #too many steps to get there and too much stuff to pay attention to #it's the neurodivergence #czech public transport is excellent so i got by just fine #but irish buses suck and i have to be driven to and from work every day #and depend on various people and their schedules #i don't like it #i often have to hurry in the evening to make it on time like #plus there are so many places i want to visit that i can't get to without a car #and seriously the buses are awful there's either too much time between them or not enough #and the last bus back to my town is at 5:45 pm which is. not ideal #i've often thought that everything would be a lot easier if i just had a car and now it's especially true #work. grocery shopping. travelling. everything #ughhh #like. i'm used to carrying 12 kg of groceries on my back yknow. and planning around the bus that runs twice a day #but it would be nice Not To Have To #i already started studying for the theory test just for funsies :) and it is kind of fun actually #i love absorbing New Knowledge #esp when i'm not forced to #and i hate not knowing or being unable to do things #so that's that #i COULD actually afford it too #but theory is one thing. practice is another;; #hhhhhh we'll see

[shooting-stars-only]

Sometimes I want to go to the local synagogue but it feels weird since I'm an atheist :/ Like "sup everyone, I don't believe in God but I sure love arbitrary rituals!!" Feels dishonest somehow.

#also my only options are chabad and a very TQ-leaning one #neither of which are ideal #self.txt

[perenlop]

ok for real tho i actually really liked the clemont/bonnie and cilan special it was fun

#it figures bc clemont and bonnies bond was by far my fave aspect of xy storywise #and tossing cilan in there as well just feels good #i love him being nice towards bonnie similarly to clemont is to her #and the conflict itself was really fun! again love that it primarily focused on trains #where both clemont and cilan are in their element despite their differences and the ep is aware of that #i like how neither are painted as in the wrong for their ideals but they are wrong for judging one another and dismissing them #mostly cilan to clemont really but still its nice #theyre both such pleasant characters so it was interesting to see them in a conflict together #and all this while not feeling tedious at all which is easy to do in these kinds of stories #echoed voice #pokeani lb

[acaciapines]

me: haha yeah im not writing anymore deltarune fanfiction. i have other projects to focus on and i said everything i wanted to about my versions of the deltarune characters anyways!

also me, every time i hear the song presumably dead arm by sidney gish: but what if i wrote a krisralsei au where neither of them went through their character arcs and they’re instead depressed 20-somethings unable to understand each other and trying to get back half-remembered days from a childhood that wont ever exist again.

#chatter #EVERY TIME. WITHOUT FAIL. #this song (specifically the 617 sessions version) is just. ITS KRISRALSEI. #its kris about ralsei and the vibes are PERFECT and i just. #i just wanna write a bad end au where i try to capture the way that song makes me feel about them ok. #its about how in this au kris never comes to terms w being a coyote #and is (very badly!) pretending like theyre human and this is fine #and how ralsei is alone for ten years and forgotten alone in castle town #bc everyone else went dormant when kris stopped visiting but not her #but ralsei still idealizes and crushes on this version of kris in her head #that never really existed and so when she sees kris-now just cant really compute things #its how kris and ralsei keep pushing each others buttons and cant get each other #bc they were supposed to mirror each other but time and being apart broke that #so theyre just two people trying to understand #missing their friend from childhood #whos here but not the same #but somehow blah blah plot happens arcs happen #and by the end of things it isnt perfect but its the possibility of a future #which neither of them could ever really see before #and maybe they wont be in each others futures but they had this #and theyre both able to find solace and happiness eventually....even if it took them longer.... #also susie is ralsei's sister here <3 like they make that official bc those two deserve it #and since ralsei and kris fell out...susies the one to get ralsei out of the dark world #if you cant tell i think about this A Lot like no idea if ill ever write it #but consider that i could write it #consider that it is all i think about #also wtf why did i write an entire essay in these tags #krisralsei are just like that <3