#so theyre just two people trying to understand

[acaciapines]

me: haha yeah im not writing anymore deltarune fanfiction. i have other projects to focus on and i said everything i wanted to about my versions of the deltarune characters anyways!

also me, every time i hear the song presumably dead arm by sidney gish: but what if i wrote a krisralsei au where neither of them went through their character arcs and they’re instead depressed 20-somethings unable to understand each other and trying to get back half-remembered days from a childhood that wont ever exist again.

#chatter #EVERY TIME. WITHOUT FAIL. #this song (specifically the 617 sessions version) is just. ITS KRISRALSEI. #its kris about ralsei and the vibes are PERFECT and i just. #i just wanna write a bad end au where i try to capture the way that song makes me feel about them ok. #its about how in this au kris never comes to terms w being a coyote #and is (very badly!) pretending like theyre human and this is fine #and how ralsei is alone for ten years and forgotten alone in castle town #bc everyone else went dormant when kris stopped visiting but not her #but ralsei still idealizes and crushes on this version of kris in her head #that never really existed and so when she sees kris-now just cant really compute things #its how kris and ralsei keep pushing each others buttons and cant get each other #bc they were supposed to mirror each other but time and being apart broke that #so theyre just two people trying to understand #missing their friend from childhood #whos here but not the same #but somehow blah blah plot happens arcs happen #and by the end of things it isnt perfect but its the possibility of a future #which neither of them could ever really see before #and maybe they wont be in each others futures but they had this #and theyre both able to find solace and happiness eventually....even if it took them longer.... #also susie is ralsei's sister here <3 like they make that official bc those two deserve it #and since ralsei and kris fell out...susies the one to get ralsei out of the dark world #if you cant tell i think about this A Lot like no idea if ill ever write it #but consider that i could write it #consider that it is all i think about #also wtf why did i write an entire essay in these tags #krisralsei are just like that <3

[sonknuxadow]

I'm not too big a Sonknux shipper (I don't really ship anyone with Sonic full stop) but for the sheer amount of Sonadow and rabid Sonadow shippers that popped up, I'm half tempted to create a 2:30 hour long Sonknux cinematic animation out of spite. It would be a quirky romcom with musical scenes which starts with Knuckles first meeting Sonic and ending with them kissing in front of the Master Emerald at their wedding.

i dont really have a problem with sonadow necessarily or people making jokes about them being gay in the new episode, i also went "🏳️‍🌈?" a few times while watching it. im mostly just annoyed that its everywhere at all times and so many people seem to have sonadow as their number one priority always and dont care about anything else.. like if you search sonic prime on here its just sonadow sonadow sonadow with not nearly as many posts about what actually happens in the episode or theorizing about what might happen next or even discussing sonic and shadows interactions beyond just going "omg sonadow!"... like is that really all you guys took from it? you dont care about anything else? just shipping? ok...

#and like i understand most of the sonic prime posting rn being about shadow and his interactions with sonic #because thats basically all this episode was. sonic and shadow running around #but again. most people arent even actuallytalking about any of it beyond the ship jokes. which is kind of annoying #also i kinda talked about this the other day but its so wild to me how sonic and knuckles are regularly doing the gayest shit imaginable #and most people dont care. but sonic and shadow have one or two gay moments every once in a while and the entire fanbase explodes #like im not saying you cant prefer sonic/shadow over sonic/knuckles #and im not trying to start an argument over which is better. i think the real answer is for them all to hold hands with eachother #i just dont understand why sonic/knuckles is so much less popular? #because in the actual games and comics and shows they have moments like this way more often than sonic and shadow do #but like i said most people dont really care. and when sonic and shadow so much as stand near eachother theyre suddenly canon boyfriends ?? #if sonic and shadow did anything sonic and knuckles have done they would get like 10 times the reaction from it #and i know this for a fact to be true because people are currently shitting themselves over sonic carrying shadow #when sonic has carried knuckles multiple times before and barely anyone cared #like hello is everyone but me in some weird alternate dimension where shadow and knuckles have switched roles or something #sonic and knuckles are literally what people THINK sonic and shadow are i swear to god #asks #sonic prime spoilers

[aropride]

there's a lot of aphoic "joke" posts that circle around from time to time and i don't trust ppl who reblog any of them bc even if they don't intend it to be aphobic the post was made as a way to make fun of us and de-legitimize our identities. like Why would u want to spread that around lol

#text #discourse #aphobia #'ace nicki minaj moodboard' and 'sephora asexual friendly makeup' are two that are so frustrating cuz u try telling someone who refuses #to even try to understand aro/ace ppl that it's aphobic and theyre like lol it's just a joke its funny bc [whatever] like. Those were expli #*explicitly made to make fun of aspec people. because they don't like us and don't want us in their community . fucking sick of it #like. use ur brain. just bc something doesnt explicitly say 'all aspec ppl should kys' or something doesnt make it not aphobic #it's the aspec version of those trumed comics with like . a trans man not binding with long hair and they go haha look at this #trender LOL so cringe !!1! And ppl who can get how thats transphobic but not how other stuff is aphobic drive me crazy like ru just trying #not to understand. OK SORRY. RANT OVER.

[paging-possum]

Who up listening to good luck babe by chappell roan and having it resonate not in the way intended but resonating nonetheless. About to go ham in the tags about the overlap of being a lesbian and being aromantic...if u even care....

#my art #gore #organs #its 2am so not a lot of this is going to be very coherent but this song makes me feel a lot of things about it all #like. its the Expectations #the expectation that im going to date men and the expectation that im going to date at all have always felt equally stifling #theres that feeling of not trying hard enough or not realizing it at first or trying to lean into what you're told you should feel #and having it not pay off time and time again and wishing you could just make it work #because everyone else around you has it just fine and you dont get why you're struggling with it so much #THERE ARE MORE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO IS WHAT IM SAYING #like obviously figuring out aromanticism is especially weird because its a lack of something BUT THEYRE PRETTY SIMILAR #realizing I dont want to date anyone mirrors realizing I didn't like boys but like. idk man its worse sometimes? #I wouldn't trade it for the world it means a lot to me but its almost like people go out of their way not to understand it sometimes #at the end of the day I am the you in that song #it was a very very long road to being okay with never falling in love because that was something I wanted for a very very long time #at the end of the day I will never have to be someones wife and I think its better that way #but its also hard not to get jealous sometimes #like I know its irrational I know I get physically ill at just the thought of being asked out but like #sometimes ill see my friends with their girlfriends and ill feel like clawing my own chest out with want #but also if anyone asks me out I will have to dig myself into a pit and never come out. I think. #I want to be with women but I dont want to Be With Women if that makes sense #its another layer of difficulty that I dont think I'll ever be able to get past #I feel like at this point I should just be trying to conditioning myself out of any form of desire because its just not an option for me #which definitely isn't true and like chappell roan says. you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling. #but its also so tiring to have to sit here with the feeling and feel bad for having the feeling. #I dont know #I think if I felt a little more or a little less I’d be fine but I’m stuck in the middle #it feels very weird talking about this openly but also its very difficult to talk about with friends because most of them dont get it #anyways something something Josies monologue from bottoms #im going to bed

[transbee]

having did and being online in any capacity is so fucking exhausting because you literally can't go anywhere without seeing the most heinous takes about your existence or validity it's like. can we be normal. can we please be normal and Chill for like two seconds.

#HEADS UP: this accidentally turned into a huge rant/vent feel free to get the hell out el oh el #i try reallly hard not to talk about it too much here because you can. offhandedly mention the mere concept of did or osdd or any #dissociative disorder and its like. people will not shut up about how its not real or how its people being delusional or kids being cringe #like. can we go. two seconds without treating people with mental disorders like a spectacle. please. you dont have to have a ''take'' on it #idk and i also avoid online did communities bc theyre the most exhausting spaces you can ever be in and theres constant fighting about #literally anything and everything. like. maybe i would like to find a space to meet other people with similar experiences to my own. #and we dont get that!! we literally cannot get that. and this goes for a lot of mental health related stuff but like my god #and im very lucky to have other people i know in real life who also have did so i can in some amount have that support system (hah.) #but it is EXHAUSTINGG that people cannot go literally a day without saying something stupid about systems #or i can be following someone for years and unprompted they will saysomething heinous thing about did and hide it behind something like #get a load of how weird and cringey kids are getting online these days. #and CHRISTT thats a whole OTHER issue i REALLY dont wanna talk about because it has its own whole set of nuances but like jeeeesus #is it really so hard for people to grasp that brains when exposed to traumas at a young age will be affected by it in weird ways. #idk man ive been seeing a lot of offhanded disregard for systems recently and it's so normalized and it's starting to get to me i guess #i wish people could just go well this is something i dont understand and dont need to have an opinion on and move on with their lives. #what the hell ever this is all to say having did has impacted my life in a lot of complicated and intricate and hard to explain ways and it #sometimes painful and awful but other times is an incredible experience and ALSO. most IMPORTANTLY ! #i should be able to make jokes about BEING FRIENDS with SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!! in REAL LIFE!!! #and not have to deal with SUICIDE BAIT IN MY INBOXX BECAUSE OF IT!!! #WHATEVERRR !!! RANT OVARRR I HAVE NOODLES TO MAKE AND EAT #.... WITH my friend SHADOW!!! #.txt #and btw this isnt about anyone ik here so dont worry im not upset with any mutuals etc etc and all that. #in fact i love getting the chance to chat about it n it can be fun to teach stuff to people who know how to like...be normal about it LOL #<3

[kienium]

i have such a hard time with tone indicators still because i don't know what the fuck i mean either. how am i supposed to fake it until i make it in these conditions

#kie rambles #brought to you by the two mega autism trucks having sex where my brain should be #rant in tags #also even tho ik what the tone indicators are supposed to mean??? i have no clue how to apply those to a social context #it's like taking a test but the study guide is written entirely in emojis and i dont know what the subject is #“you said the thing you should know how you intended it” well. #when you spend your whole life trying to make your interactions palatable through masking #and suddenly this new tool that's supposed to help you get intentions across appears #i dont know how to use it without unmasking fully and i dont know how to do that yet #TONE INDICATORS ARE GOOD BTW. they help so many ppl and help people feel more free to joke around with each other w/o hurting one another #just saying it's. still hard to change the wiring of “indicate tone for neurotypical people to understand” -- #-- to “don't indicate it at all until the end” #basically i still wanna use them bc theyre helpful to lots of ppl but like when i fuck up constantly pls be patient #feels like masking 2 electric boogaloo #masking as a nt person thats masking as a nd person. maskception. let me out of here oh my god #also im in class rn making this post instead of paying attention so if i repeat myself like 8 times im sowwy

[nerosdayinanime]

ok wait i realized i can just use my gallery's text & draw thing this is great

this is what i mean by 'the clan au doesnt have a set story'. theres all these places that it can branch off of and the possibilities r endless and i have *counting* ..14 scenarios/storylines so far and every time i think of a new scenerio another gets added<3

[slight bit more info for all the branches so far]

i havent done much with the kny-canon leaning ones they're more just like if i did follow canon thats how it'd be done ykno? im thinking they get raided by the shinazugawas for control of the trade routes and either they both survive like that one post or only giyu survives, either way Sakonji takes in the living tomioka(s)

------

most of the stories arent tied down to canon theyre more whatever worldbuilding i have and stories pop up from them- one of the first ones was the shina-tomi failed peacetalks bc i wanted to draw sanemi & giyuu fighting (i just realized i placed the branches perfectly bc thats closer to canon than the others lol)

if the peacetalks worked(wouldve been later/after sanemi took over) then it kinda snowballed into a few nearby/allied clans forming a village, then from that theres the Tomi-Daki diplomat/trade envoy w the fox trio(giyu makomo & sabito)

---

the rescues are like. little to no formal interactions between any of the three clans(shina-kumeno is always allied), in the first one its winter and giyu's on his way home when he catches the trail of bloodline hunters and saves Genya & Masachika.

in the other one giyu's pinned by a rogue shinobi and sanemi & sabito both find him at the same time and they make a lil truce bc giyu has severe chakra exhastion and cant make it home

----

undercover mission has one thats purely sanegiyu; sanemi is disguised as Kazura & giyu as Gikuro and actually i looked back at my notes and this ones like. in the past before the village branch. so it connects to that one but it can also be a standalone. the other undercover mission is sabisanegiyu where sabito & giyuu went undercover as a master/servant thing and sanemi was disgusted by it and didnt know that it wasnt Real so he tried to 'save' giyuu and got invited to the polycule<3

---

the lil unnamed branches inbetween is that one where giyu got chased out the clan by tsutako for killing their mom, there was a spy who had taken her place and giyu noticed and killed the spy but tsutako only saw him killing their mom and she lost her shit in dispair & heartbreak. theres a branch for Giyu staying alone, Sabito ditching the urokodakis for his packmate while makomo stays behind to fix things with tsutako, and both Sabito & Makomo ditching the urokodakis for their packmate

---

the arranged marriages are sanegiyu with the first branch being after sanemi takes over and giyu asking for it ot of goodwill & he likes him(his pack gets to stay w him). other two Kyogo requested(demanded) it for trade routes, he doesnt allow the urokodakis to go with bc theyre Not Tomiokas and these routes more heavily portray the different biology of the southerners/mountain-pass(a/b/o)

ones angsty bc sanemi is like. CRUSHED that he cant find love on his own. his father takes literally everything away from him. while sanemi is kind & respects giyu he doesnt really care for him. and for giyu to go from a very close-knit family-oriented culture to the stone cold-cutthroat/conservative/severely traumatized/individualist culture of the shinazigawas with literally No One there for him he gets pretty fucked up w the emotional neglect

the other ones less angsty bc sanemi actually Tries in their relationship and finds that he actually enjoys giyu's company- and cuddles. the cuddles r fuckin great. but kyogo's still a cunt and a massive hindrance to emotional and mental healing of everyone around him. but sanemi's not alone now so its Better

#kny clan au #im Hoping that by posting this ppl will ask abt some of them n add their own two cents for ideas to flesh them out more #actually im realizing now that this is. probably incredibly niche and self indulgent. its naruto systems x kny characters #+ giyuu-centric as fuck w a lot of sabigiyu & sanegiyu #i swear its not all about giyu im making a better map of the world & it has so many other clans & fandoms to play with #i just havent focused on anything other than giyu bc hes my lil guy. my lil loserboy beloved. u understand right???? #i wanna explore more shit with other people i have an entire continent of political shit to figure out #all i got so far is that w the bigass mountain straight thru the middle the tomi-daki pass is the safest for traders so a lot go thru there #and they specifically run like. protection details for passer-bys so people dont die from the elements. which means they get access to #literally every trader that goes through. theyre fucking GOLDEN and other clans either want to ally w them or attack them for their own #control. but theyre mostly safe from that bc their compounds r way up in the mountains & theyre used to the rough terrain. #its like people invading russia in winter- its just not on your side dude.. go back home.. #theres also the Inarizaki from land of water trying to stake a post on the mainland near the kochos. so they went to the shinazugawas for #Reputation & actually really good firepower against attackers. even if theyre on the other end of that half of the continent. #i love worldbuilding #i did it for ocs but it started as a kid so its like. all over the place. i cant make sense of it & my ocs kinda bore me & i ended up Here #using my anime characters as lil dolls w a vague sense of their original character/personality bc i changed So Much- #if anyone inquires or not i Will be posting more about any and all of the branches Eventually #hhh stop typing Send Post #oh wait fuck i have to put it in the maintaga for people to see #fuck. shit. post be upon ye #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #giyuu #sabito #makomo #sanemi

[theflytecharm]

Okay so one thing I found weird throughout the series is why its never an option for merrin to keep his name as septimus (and we're talking about in universe here, totally understand why angie might have issues with both the protagonist and antagonist being called septimus)

He explicitly didn't like merrin meredith, he's been called septimus for 10 years and as unique as a name as it is, sometimes people just have the same name. Did everyone swap to merrin cos it was his birth name? Or was it because "you're not septimus this is septimus"? And thats weird to me cos like. That's his identity, its all he's known.

By all means let him know what his birth name is and tell him who his family is but damn give the kid a chance to adjust to learning his life was a lie without taking his name too

I also wonder if the young army had used names instead of numbers and septimus was called merrin would he have wanted to swap? I'd understand sep wanting to get away from the ya and starting to use heap, but would he have stuck with merrin as a first name 🤔

#totally understand making sure he knows hes not a heap in the sense that theyre not related #its more of the first name ive got the issue with #like if the two of them were called something generic would people have pushed so hard to use his birth name #no fuck you im called james you cant be called that #or are they trying to make sure that he understands hes not the 7th son of the 7th son and hes been told a lie #which again theres better ways to push that than to take away his name #the whole darke murder vendetta thing is a bit much as a response tho #just change your name my dude #septimus heap #my stuff

[robertsbarbie]

i do really wanna study the phenomenon of people going to multiple shows of an artist and getting multiple meet and greets with an artist and feeling very entitled to said artist to the point they genuinely believe they’re friends with the artist and i know it goes along with parasocial relationships but like oh my god

#the band camino genuinely has some of the nicest fans #how fucking ever there were these two girls that like super pissed me off today #and they were like first in line first in line which whatever if no consequence #me and my friend went up trying to figure out the vip line situation #weren’t helpful super mean said it was all one line but they didn’t know they were just GA (a lie btw) #and me and friend were standing there (not even in line) just trying to figure it out #and we’re talking to other people trying to figure it out no one could agree #eventually a sweet girl came and i think we figured it out with her she was so helpful and nice #(bevause i think it did seem like we were cutting the line because people were lining ip behind us #as we tried to figure it out but we were like no no we’re just trying to understand) #and then one of the meaner girls from earlier was like ‘i’m sure they’ll check where you’re standing #and the nice girl said ‘i will make sure they come around the building) #like super nice genuinely and it was great #but no one did come get us until like the VERY end and we were rushing to check in even though we were there and hour and a half early #but then the way it worked out we formed a new like after touring the stage and me and my friend happened to be up front #the two mean girls from earlier fully cut (went under a bar instead of walking with the vip coordinator) which again whatevee i don’t care #during this vaguely heard they’ve been to 36 shows (which like respect but you got vip at all of them? how lmao and love the boys but theyre #very consistent you’ve seen it once you’ve seen it respectfully and then after the meet and greet i was behind them by the stage and i think #they were talking about me and my friend since we got to go relatively early to meet them #but again literally the last people in the meet and greet entering line lmao but i was visibly shaking from anxiety and like it wasn’t worth #it in the moment then they got barricade and were SHOUTING the boys names and holding up signs for songs THAT HAD ALRWADY BEEN PLAYED AT #SHOW THEY WENT TO (i know because the girl literally said so) and singing very sexually to the boys trying to get their attention #and just were so unpleasant and felt above everyone else #and it’s like! y’all aren’t friends with them! theyre never gonna fuck you! they recognize you because you go to a lot of shows and worm #your way to the barricade because you know the ins and outs of the vip process #but if y’all were really friends you would not have to pay HUNDREDS of dollars to see them and talk to them #i have friends who work in the music industry i have friends that are artists i have made friends with artists AT shows #you’ll be put on the guest list or brought backstage through a back door or they will go out of their way to the audience to talk to you and #you will hang out outside of shows when you’re able to #if you are regularly paying an exorbitant amount of money for five seconds? you’re not friends lmao

[blueslight]

Man this shit ruined my whole mood . And I cant even ask my.mom.for help even tmrw cause shes so exhausted and I dont wsnna bother her but with stuff like this I am SO fucking lost and like. Man

#I think i might be really exhausted. i feel like my brain clouds up if i try too.hard to think about everything currently going on #cause I dont wanna cry. so i guess small stuff like this gets to me more #but i specifically said im NOT doing badly and it drives me up the fucking wall when people assume im sad or suffering. idk why but it #DOES #and i also dont wanna be someone whos mean cause hes struggling. I think thats fucking cringe and if anyone tried to blame anything on the #fact that i got a lot going on rn id be pissed at them. but also man. i think im exhausted. #I dont understand my own feelings and shit ever but ESPECIALLY not currentky and i feel.so.lost and my moms.not there to help me #but theres stuff I just cant figure out on my own #And like the stuff w my friend SHES SUPPSOED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND WHY DOES SHE HURT ME #but also like why do i get hurt cuz its not like its bad #bad as in like serious. at all #but like even my two best friends even theyre not. I dont know. a part of me or something. theyre the closest ive ever been with people #outside my family and i do trust them but . its not. idk I cant explain it but its not . even they dont really get me i guess . and even #they are different from me and make me feel bad #(occassionally)

[bellamygateoldblog]

idk i feel like everyone would be so much happier if u just minded ur business and let ppl get on with who they are

#like i soooo don't care just let people do what they do and be who they are u dont need to #b making a callout post for ppl just living their lives n somehow that makes u feel victimised #just be open and take people at their word???? dont challenge ppl abt their own identity dont bring up politics and discourse #when someonr is just like. trying to be comfortable w who they are its so counterproductive and unnecessary and SO terminally online #'i wish yall would learn ur history' girl i communicate with the elders irl DAILY and they do not act like u r acting rn #knowing textbook info abt shit and acc communicating w people from other generations r two separate things #idk idk #sometimes other parts of tumblr (non-fandom) leak onto my dash and im reminded of how. ridiculous it all is #like turning on eachother.......picking EACHOTHER apart.....that is NOT the enemy its soo si so so so stupid #sowing distrust and seperation in a community instead of standing united against the ACTUAL oppressor...blows my mind truely #these r the same ppl that would callout an elder for saying something problematic that they used back then but we dont anymore #like it doesn't work like that #💀💀💀💀 #u cannot b acting like this fr #just listen to eachother #b like oh that isnt my experience but i understand and i get why you feel that way #sooooo many things determine how we are and what we do the main thing is to just be. open honest and non judgemental #telling eachother theyre wrong for being like they are is just doing the same thing the oppressors are doing #just think ppl should b more mindful abt what discourse is acc appropriate and productive #what is actually worth criticising and what rly isnt that big of a deal and should absolutely not be getting more attention than the former

[snekdood]

"Narcissistic abuse" vs NPD

Hey guys, i feel like I need to talk about something, if only because i was one of those ppl who ended up watching a lot of videos about "narcissistic abuse" which demonized tf out of ppl with NPD so now i feel a moral obligation to do something, whatever that may be. So I guess this is one of my attempts to do something.

Because im someone who ended up watching a lot of those videos, it really forged my perceptions of people with NPD, but i think theres an important distinction here to be made. I do personally feel like narcissistic abuse exists, but i dont think it exists *only* within the realm of people with npd as a lot of these videos and articles suggest. I think just about anyone can engage in narcissistic abuse because the point is the abuse is incredibly selfish and self centered on part of the abuser. I dont think it has to be connected with people with NPD and the only connection is made with the similar names, so maybe we need to come up with a new term for it, because ive personally found a lot of value out of those videos, it helped explain to me what was going on, the way people abused me, the way their mind worked, what they were likely to do, etc. And has pretty much been on the nose. I dont think multiple videos like this would exist if there wasnt a common experience. I just dont think its something people with npd exclusively do like a lot of these videos suggest. Im like 90% sure one of my bullies abused me this way, would do anything to maintain their social standing and keep me on the bottom, but i do not believe that person has npd and it wouldnt be fair for me to diagnose that person anyways because i barely know anything about that person personally.

Part of the reason these videos kinda revealed to me its not just an npd thing is the fact that they kept having to come up with new, scarier words for ppl with npd. Like "the dark triad" or whatever because the realization that their trauma is the reason they act the way they do makes the victim upset and not want to have to sympathize, which is understandable, but its not healthy and it means they have to make it sound like its something more extreme to have a justification for essentially wanting that person to be kicked off the planet, which i can understand why an abuse victim might feel that way, i just dont think its helpful to shunt all the responsibility on to ppl with npd and obviously that abuse victim needs to be more practical, empathetic and realistic because you cant control other people and you're likely to not actually do anything to your abuser to get revenge, so sitting here seething in your contempt does nothing but hurt you long term while your abuser has essentially forgotten you exist. But i digress.

The biggest issue with these videos is the name of the abuse and the association with ppl with npd, because theres many reasons why people would want to keep their social position outside of an extremely insecure sense of self or whatever tf. The other issue with these videos is the huge demonization and misunderstanding about people with npd. The idea that theyre all abusive, that they cant change, that they hold every Bad diagnostic criteria and it makes them *evil* or whatever tf. The way people talk about ppl with npd in those videos is pretty horrendous actually. It gets to a point where you wonder if the person posting the video wants to essentially genocide ppl with npd, which i think is kinda fuckin crazy ngl, i dont think thats a solution nor do i think all ppl with npd are such a huge problem that we need to get rid of them or exile them from society or whatever tf. Ppl with npd more than anything need therapy of some sort, and these videos 100% can talk about this form of abuse without throwing ppl with npd under the bus every 5 seconds.

I know people dismiss this as just "any kind of abuse" but i really dont think it is, its a really specific, insidious type of abuse where someone will do anything to maintain their position, they will toss away all their morals bc maintaining that position is the most important thing to them. They are people who are very driven by their ego, and anyone can be driven by their ego, so no, its not just an npd thing. Theres other forms of abuse that arent driven by a need to maintain their social position, so also no, its not all the same and i dont think it should all be labeled as general abuse, because the trauma this can cause is notable and having a space to talk with people who've had similar experiences is really important and helpful. We just gotta stop demonizing ppl with npd since its very much not their sole issue, nor would i say its a guarantee ppl with npd will treat you that way, and its pretty toxic to assume that, especially since ppl without npd routinely engage in this form of abuse. I dont believe theres truly any justification for ostracizing and wanting to essentially kill off an entire group of people and ppl should stop trying to find excuses to do so.

Anyways, thing i wanted to say and have been thinking about for a while has been said, you may proceed with whatever judgements you seemingly endlessly have about me.

#narcissistic abuse #npd #also uh... i think we gotta be not so judgemental about ppl who have consumed that content bc theyre going off of what they were told. #those videos make a point of you apparently not needing the nuanced understanding of your abuser so ppl naturally dont look up the sad or #sympathetic parts of ppl with npd. #and bc those videos see narcissistic abuse and npd as essentially two sides of the same coin theres just a lot of confusion for the ppl #consuming those videos. the onus is on the ppl vreating that content to actually educate themselves and stop demonizing and generalizing an #entire population of people. #anyways yeh #my phone kept trying to write nod like every time i wrote npd. omg it just did it too. im so upset i hate my phone shsjkssk

[jessethejoyful]

it's wild how I can go from feeling yesterday like I was surrounded by love and friends and felt beautiful and on top of the world to today crying in my bed, weak and dizzy and alone

#personal #shut up jess #it's so stupid too but im just sitting here spiraling #my friends and i are gearing up to start an avatar d&d campaign #two of those 4 friends have now requested to have their s/o's join #which fine i understand people like doing things as a couple bc theyre their best friends fine whatever #im just so depressed because these are friends who have both almost completely ghosted since entering these relationships #we haven't done anything just as our little group for so long #and i am so single and depressed so i get to be like a 6th wheel because 3/4 of them are in relationships #and the last one is the dm #and this all sounds so fucking stupid as im writing it out but im just sitting here crying #because theyll like ask 'is it cool if x joins?' and how the fuck am i supposed to say no? #im not thats how #i don't feel comfortable saying to anyone 'hey can we not always bring our partners along i dont know them' #'and im not comfortable around new people so ill inevitably end up sitting there in silence because i feel isolated' #i just don't know what to do #if i try to back out itll look sus #i wanna just #scream

[featherymainffins]

One thing about me is you can always count on me to want the character who is incomprehensible. People often say "Oh you're gonna want this one for sure" because they think I have a type. There's the secret: There is no type. The only type is confusion.

If the character you are showing to me is perfectly comprehensible and makes sense well unfortunately I will be normal about them. Horny? Perhaps. But to a normal degree.

Show me a cunt who makes no sense at all and it's over. I'm finished. KO'd. I'm done. It's over for me forever.

#at this point i have learned this about myself as well #because i didnt know this either suprisingly #i got the memo after i became insane about Gor//tash #after that i went 'oh ok i think i understand it all now' #actually there ARE some outliers but those are artificially manufactured outliers #as in i become insane about any character i analyse. which means that i get really weird and freaky even if theyre comprehensible #its that uuuh its that one quote. about how you need to understand your enemy in order to defeat them but once you understand #them you love them. so i think thats just what happens in my brain after an analysis. and some of the characters are outliers #because they are both incomprehensible and have been analysed. but that is perhaps a different factor #like as in i become insane about an incomprehensible character i analyse them to understand #i get even more insane. #funniest example of his has got to be Var//ney Castle//vania because the analysis doesnt even explain anything thats wrong with him #like it says a lot of other stuff but hes just incomprehensible for fun. even from a meta perspective hes hilarious they literally #had only two designs and the result is the combination of both of them. no nobody explains why he specifically has weird eyes #see? incomprehensible. #anyway sorry for that. but yeah basically people need to stop being surprised that i want to rail a character when theyre #a puzzle for me to solve or to try to solve. like??? what were you expecting. #show me a character with problems that would take a team of psychologists from all approaches several decades to understand #and ill show you how weird i can get. literally my only criterion for getting insane and unhinged about a character #this is a psa so that nobody gets surprised in the future

[235uranium]

bangs my head against the wall

#☢️.txt #i genuinely find aspec communities insufferable. only aroallo spaces are okay but theyre #usually dominated by cis straight men and like. ok good for them i do not relate tl a si #to a single thing here! #and some aroace complaining about ppl seeing ace and/or aro as modifiers. bitch it is a fucking modifer for me #if you get to call them full identities i get to call them modifers! why can no one here stand to have a single fucking disagreement! #'oh its the aphobia' shut the fuck up biphobia hasnt made bi spaces turn into this nightmare #where two ppl seeing their bisexuality in different ways causes them to downplay another #if you say ace/aro arent modifers you are doing the same shit you complained about. #theyre modifers and identities #'but these other-' shut the fuck up! plenty of ace/aro people see lesbian/gay/bi/ect as modifers. #whats with certain aroace ppl and being incapable of understanding their experience is not universal #why do i even try. my personal experiences with being aro are so far outside the norm that it barely matters #i need to just accept that i fit in more with trans bisexual spaces and kink spaces than aspec spaces #btw i know there is discourse around bisexuality but its definitely not to the level i see with aspec spaces.

[mxdotpng]

i do not understand the name switching thing... where did that come from?

#.text #yes. this IS about asch and luke. #i know i havent even scratched the bottom of the barrel in terms of whats out there for this game bc. it did come out in like 2006 #im almost 20 years behind. but still. ive seen a few people talk & write about the two switching their names n u know. no. #it feels. weirdly out of character and it feels like its ignoring the themes of the game. u know? #luke is luke. he is not Luke but he is luke. that is His name. and asch is asch. he was Luke but he isnt Luke anymore. #i dont think names mean much to luke. he knows who he is and who he wants to be. it wouldnt matter to him what name he goes by #because he would still be himself. he knows that. but i think it Would matter to asch. everything is in a name to him. and his name #is asch because he isnt luke anymore. luke is the little boy who was kidnapped and replaced at the age of 10. he was the little boy #who was to weak to stop van from manipulating him and he was the little boy who could do nothing to tell his mom that he hadnt #come home yet. he is asch and asch is Stronger. more defined and more himself. even if he doesnt really know who He is yet #theyre different like that. mirrors. just like so much else. #if its about asch calling himself 'luke fon fabre' before his final fight... its still wrong sorry. i dont think he'd have any desire to be #luke again because he isnt luke and now to him luke is this annoying replica who keeps trying his damn best to make sure asch lives #and keeps dragging him home even though asch doesnt understand any of it. at this point to asch luke is this stupid #7 year old boy who is weak and too fucking pathetic to be HIS replica. #and i think luke would think taking asch's name is. invasive. its not Right. because thats asch's name. he isnt stupif enough not to be #aware that the name 'asch' is symbolic. the charred remains of the sacred flame. taking that name would be like. forsaking #everything asch had gone through. does this make sense. #i think about them too much. i have essays written for hypothetical situations nobody will ask me about. #when in all honesty this phenomenon is few and far between on this site and ao3 and is more likely more prevelant on ff net #which i do not frequent. yet. #tho. i do think. if luke ever offered or asked asch if he wanted to go by luke again. asch would appreciate the gesture a lot. #like u know. he is standoff-ish and mean and especially to luke. but it would be like. positive relationship points in luke's favor. #wow im so right. i should put that in my time travel fic. #tales of the abyss