"I can't believe I'm being the voice of reason. This is gross."
-Ashton not liking being the responsible one.
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Wanderer learning to person from the Aggravate polycule is all fun and games until you realize he's gonna have some fucking skewed takes on relationships, and that's taking into account the Fatui fuckery:
Wanderer: wait, if you're fucking your roommate, doesn't that make him your boyfriend?
Kaveh: god no, fuck that. I had to be in a relationship with every person I sleep with, I'd kill myself, good lord. No, he's my roommate, I just sleep with him sometimes. You know, the normal amount.
Wanderer: what do you mean the normal amount?
Kaveh: you know, the normal amount. Here, watch: hey, Cyno!
Cyno, wary, tired, expecting a other fire that needs to be put out: Yes, Kaveh?
Kaveh: what's the normal amount of sleeping with a roommate?
Cyno, no hesitation, not even a shadow of a doubt: as much as you need to avoid getting shived at night.
Wanderer: This is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard-!
Kaveh: Do you have a roommate?
Wanderer: Well, no--
Cyno: then you don't know shit.
Kaveh, clinking his glass with Cyno, knowingly: Roommates, kid. It's a whole artform.
Wanderer: I will rip out your spleen through your nostrils if you call me kid again.
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Okay Okay so I know I mentioned previously that single, bio-body that had their faces on either side of their head. I also had an au, about DCA working at a fast food place and y/n and then causing problems and running off.
I have mashed them together. They are demons who got kicked out of hell and reader found them rooting around in the garbage like chica - so she fed them once and now they keep coming back. Might as well give them a job, right?
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Takes you by the shoulders and shakes you frantically . Do you understand lan wangji's internalized struggle with ocd-like impulses to tamp down his sexual desire because even if it's just part of an intrusive thought he believes his kinks make him a monster like his father and that he has to obsessively maintain a set of rules and punishments for his own thoughts or else he'll be a horrible person and that these don't even truly begin to be remedied until the extras where wwx sees his deepest desires in full color and rather than scorning him and telling him he's a horrible person who should control his thoughts better he's wholeheartedly accepting and enthusiastic to negotiate what boundaries he's ok with therefore breaking that cycle and saving lwj in turn after lwj saved him and this is a great moral ocd allegory and if you claim to understand lwj but then turn around and puritanically condemn people for thought crimes then you're doing it wrong and should sit in the timeout corner
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also had a period where vashmeryl consumed me completely (COMPLETELY MISERABLE FOR A WHOLE WEEK)
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Okay hear me out-
(Just a note i dont know how common this "hc" is cus I haven't roperly interacted with a fandom since I was like 13 I have no idea wtf you guys are doin up in there)
(And no, writing fanfiction on ao3 and occassionally talking to commenters doesn't technucally count.)
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