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#but also like why do i get hurt cuz its not like its bad
blueslight · 1 year
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Man this shit ruined my whole mood . And I cant even ask my.mom.for help even tmrw cause shes so exhausted and I dont wsnna bother her but with stuff like this I am SO fucking lost and like. Man
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mathlann · 3 months
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Warhammer/Marazhai brainrot has me so fucking stupid.
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myreputatioooon · 2 months
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The dichotomy of wanting to get into more MCYT content because you fucking love that medium of storytelling versus the sheer emotional burnout of series and fanfics with too much hurt and too little comfort inflicted upon you which you still haunts you tok this day
(and also you dont have anytime you ain't reading all that but that isn't important)
#Dream SMP is the main culprit tbh#but also submas fadom SORRY NOT SORRY— 🤪🤪🤪 **gets shotted**#also maybe Aphmau but I dont recal being that emotionally connected to it plus I got bored during that lvoe love paradise sequel#MCYT#as much as id love to get into that Kenadian lore. everythign LDshadowlady and Grian are into plus Stampy's Lovely World and other series#one. they're too fucking long especially together and I have an education to get throuvh#two. emotional burnout. Im drawn to hurt like a moth to a flame but I cannot bring myself to get into or devote myself to soemthing thattl#burn me out further#this is also why I wont even check out QSMP and other series barring soem exceptions (Sp!lt L!fe (dont wanna flood the tag and what youtube#s i am already into or get my attention decide to do themselves))#just cuz I wanna not burnout#Dream SMP it hink was ultimately a good thin in the long term#but one of the side effects of its success (or maybe a result of the pandemic and lots of people being mroe nihilistic or hopeless idk)#according to what I can tell from tumblr posts Ive seen every once ina. while#and also my own minimal experience#is that most series have tipped their feelgood emotions and feelbad emotions balance in much more favor of feelbad than feelgood#and yeah those feelgood is still there but in the grand scheme of things series feel ways more miserable because general happiness looks li#e its overshadowed by tragedy and whatnot#this isnt go say its objectively bad. its just my own eprsonal feelings.#do I still enjoy miserable media liek S!GNALIS? yes but that shit lasts for like 6 hours per run#and mcyt is .millions upon millions of hours#and when I devote myself to a piece of media instead of beigna. casual fan I wanna be a completionist about so. yeah#this was judt fucking rambling bwuh#hoghly encourage you to do your own worddumping or qhateverdumping in comments or reblogs#i like interavtions
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lordiavolo · 1 year
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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ruckis--rookie · 2 years
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Ey might take a few day hiatus. If I've been quiet I've come down with sumn that's got me basically bedridden, but the good news is that I'm sweaty and according to Clawdy that means I'm finally starting to break my fever.
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hecksupremechips · 3 months
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My body really is just trying everything it can to be ouch ouch hurty hurt huh
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pizzapizzadickz · 1 year
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I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.
...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli
(Pt 1 for description rant)
#diary#personal#i rly wanna book a therapy appointment but im having a rly hard time trying to get myself to do that bc i need to check i can vid call#cuz my computer monitor is broke and havent fixed it yetttt ugh.#i rly feel like researching autism again. idk. i saw a video about communication badges being used at furry conventions#and by god that sounds so fun ;-; like. i really struggle with interaction with others and talking is sometimes really hard.#mainly bc if theres a lot of noise i usually wanna block it out and if i gotta take my earbuds out to comunicate all the time its not fun#idk. i just wish i could go around writting shit out for ppl to read and thats that. no need to speak to clerks or crap.#bc imma be honest. i have a hard time hearing too. like in crowded places. its so overwhelming all the time.#its both a good and a bad thing that im giving myself the permission to be overwhelmed in situations#but its also making it much more difficult to actually be in those situations.#idk. i used to force myself through it. tell myself i like it or whatever. but by god everything just hurts nowadays#like. i dont like leaving my house mostly bc of the sensory overload.#i wonder how things'll change in the future. just how much more accepting will i and society be. i dont know.#but i hope i learn to cope more. bc life is really hard and imma be honest im struggling at best.#idk. i find it so hard to work lately. i love my thoughts. they are so fluid. and just. language doesnt keep up.#everything i say or write isnt quite right. and it bothers me. i sorta wished telepathy existed just soley so i could comunicate#idk maybe someday ill learn sign language. and maybe that could help. but it wouldnt help when im shut down. or having a meltdown#yknow. i find face to face human to human contacr really scary. i worry theyll want to do something and i wont#i worry i wont be able to get across my reasoning as to why. i worry that theyll see just how odd my behaviour can be.#and above all i just sorta worry they wont work with me to meet me halfway. like. im stuck with my family i dont want that with friends too#i hope if i visit them itll be okay. that like. i wont cause a problem or accidentally offend them or something?#idk. i wanna make friends n hang out. but as ive gotten older ive discovered just how much i hate that.#like i saw a rly cool tik tok about how they set up their home for all their autistic friends when they come over.#like. its established you can just stop talking and remove urself if you wanna. and theres stim toys n plushies n shit. and low lighting#and just. that sounds like heaven. i struggle so much in social situations. bc i eventually get tired.#and it makes me feel sorta burnt out/depressed. so itd be nice if i could just remove myself from a stituation whenever.#or just lay my head down on someones lap and silently observe.#i wish i knew what to do when i get overwhelmed in public. bc it happens a lot. and i freeze. and idk what to do.#and ill cry and get overwhelmed and shutdown or meltdown. and i start to aimlessly wander and its sorta dangerous tbh?
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glacierclear · 8 months
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ISN'T BITE ALSO TOUCH?
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fuckboy!leon x gn!reader (maybe a few gendered terms oops)
content: hurt/no comfort, angst, arguments, passive aggression, mentions of drugs/alcohol
Your best friend is a fuckboy. He ditches you at a party. You argue. Maybe they were right about him.
[ao3 link]
They all tried to tell you. Every single one of them.
He’s bad news, don’t bother. You would scoff.
He’s nothing but a walking penis. He doesn’t care about anything. And you’d roll your eyes.
Every red flag. Every warning sign. Every flashing light. You refused to heed any of them. And you tilled, and you sowed, and you fed. And now? You were reaping.
“I don’t get what the big deal is. You’re a big kid. You don’t need a damn babysitter.” His hands remained clenched, balled up and shoved into the pouch of his hoodie. His posture was lax. Noncommittal. He stared into a wall, his expression detached and unreachable.
“When you called me up tonight to drag me to some stupid frat party, I at least expected you to like, stay with me,” you countered. “We weren’t even there for an hour before you up and ditched me. Streaking across campus like a moron.” The base of your neck throbbed, the fledgling burn of an oncoming migraine. Your clothes still reeked of burnt weed and the cloyingly pungent whiff of cotton candy vape smoke.
“You should be fucking grateful. Wouldn’t have gotten into that party without me. Shit was the best thrasher of the month.” He lifted his head, scorching you with that know-it-all smirk. It huffed the coals of your stomach. You felt like puking.
“I didn’t…oh my god, Leon. I didn’t go for the party. I thought you…I don’t know. I thought you actually wanted to hang out. Have a good night.”
Your fingers burrowed their way through the folds of your sheets and you stayed perched at the edge of your bed. Leon hovered at your doorway, barely present in the space of your dorm, his contour fuzzed with casting light.
He didn’t say anything. Your eyes pulsed and stung. “Look. I’m not mad, I just–”
“You should be.”
“What?”
It’s then that he finally dared to meet your eyes. Blue hues swallowed whole by the pitch of his pupils, seeking you past tendrils of mussed, blonde hair.
“You should be mad. Why aren’t you? Cuz’, you’re right. I fucking ditched you. Like a moron.” He flung the word back with acid and you winced away. “God forbid I have some fun, right? Forgot you’re too much of a buzzkill to actually have fun at a party.”
There’s a throttling impulse to scream at him. Tell him off for being unreasonable and kick his ass to the curb like last week’s trash. But you’ve danced to this song before. The repeating pattern and pervasive enigma of Leon’s refusal to invest himself; emotionally, or otherwise.
So, you sucked in a steadying breath, filled your lungs with patience, and spoke softly.
“It’s not just about the party,” you began, and passively, you noticed him shift. “I mean…streaking? You realize that if you got caught doing that…you wouldn’t have a scholarship anymore. Hell, maybe you’d be expelled.”
The realization settled on him like a poison and you caught his face darken. As much as he denied and disguised, Leon was a smart man. Excellent standing in his classes and a whopping GPA to match the third leg he swung in his pants. It meant a lot to him.
There’s a gap of silence before he opened his mouth again.
“...well, I wasn’t caught. And it was my choice. I don’t need you nagging me like a fucking mom, alright?” His body shrunk in on itself. Caging his softer parts from the reality he narrowly avoided. On a better day, perhaps you’d chase him. Push and fight for a break in his shell, a crevice that gave way to the man you knew he was capable of being. But, God, your head was shattering. Your nausea was worsening. You weren’t making progress.
“Right, well, sorry for caring, Leon,” you relented, turning away from him to click your phone into its charger. “I’m going to bed. Don’t bother inviting me to any more parties.”
Your gaze left him, you weren’t fully aware of his body, but in the fleeting moments following your surrender he’s on you. Lurking above you like the baleful firmament of a roaring summer storm. You hardly had the time to open your mouth before he’s speaking. No, he’s growling. Revving the engine of his fury.
“...so that’s it? You’re not putting up with me anymore?” It could be the headache talking, but you swore you heard a tremble in his voice.
“Huh? The fuck are you–”
“We’re not friends anymore. That’s what you’re doing, right?” You searched the raging sea of his eyes for a raft. But all you did was drown. “I fucked up one too many times and now I’m just another shitty dude you had to put up with.” You watched the chipped black of his nails dig into his arms, tensed up limbs shielding him from what he’s most afraid you’ll confirm.
“Leon, that’s not…we’re still friends, okay? I just don’t want to go to parties like that anymore. Just give me a few days to cool off and we can…I dunno, we’ll hit up that burger joint you love.” It’s a pretty weak bargain, but maybe he’d bite.
And he did bite. He bit and he tore and he sought out blood.
“You’ve always had shitty taste in guys.” He practically spat at you, a scornful wrinkle deepening in the bridge of his nose. “Fucking stand up for yourself. You always let people walk all over you and act surprised when they turn out to be shitheads.”
He leaned in. You smelled him. Overpriced cologne. Underpriced shampoo. Crappy beer he drank even though he hated the taste. Despite it all, you yearned to hug him.
“Leon, I–”
“...and you know what? I don’t fucking need you. I don’t need your little dates. Your pity sex. I don’t need you looking out for my damn scholarships and I especially don’t need you making me look bad when I’m trying to let loose at the party I’ve been looking forward to all goddamn month.” You wanted him to stop. You wanted to bridge the chasm and devour his violence. If only he’d let you. But all he did was bite harder. “I won’t bother inviting you out anymore. Actually, I won’t bother talking to you at all. Have fun with your fucking life, I’m done being your fucking charity. Goodni–”
At the edge of his precipice, the void he dug for solace, Leon plummets. He straightened his spine, eyes widening and jaw hanging lifelessly. You were crying. Tears bursting without prejudice. Staining your face in vulnerability you so often only used to comfort him.
He went too far. And now, you were crying.
Neither of you moved for an eternity. From the hallway of your dorm, you hear the thundering trots of drunken friends laughing and yelling. The noise swelled and faded. The only evidence of a world beyond your room.
He called your name. His voice was so much quieter, held together with twine and stinging regret. You lifted your eyes and your throat barely allowed your words to pass.
“...Great job, Leon. Now I’m mad.” In an act of self-preservation, you tore your gaze away, burning a stare into the ground below his shoes. They’re blotched with dirt and chlorophyll, still damp from his midnight misdemeanor. “I won’t bother you anymore. If you hate me that much, I…I’ll leave you alone.”
His arms unfolded, one hand reaching out, a fragmented attempt to soothe you. But it was too late.
He repeated your name.
“I didn’t…fuck, I shouldn’t have said…hey–”
“Go home, Leon.” Your voice was unwavering, and he flinched back, your ire the open flame he’s too human to touch.
And then he left. Your dorm vibrated with the slam of the door, and you buried your face in your hands. In the place of his feet, soil stained your carpet. In the place of his warmth, sandalwood smoldered the air.
In the place of your love, all you wanted was to die.
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bethanysnow · 24 days
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How I think Stray Kids Members would date a Plus Size girlfriend ~ Hyungline
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Maknae line
-Bang Chan
This man deadlifts 350lb....do you think it's only for our benefit????? NAH this boy got an actually plus size gal in his minds eye. Large arms, soft shoulders, STOMACH, back???, calves???!?!?!?! Why does no one talk about calves!?! Where this man can man handle and grab and pull to his hearts delight and not break her. Lord knows one spank from him would probably break someone's pelvis if it didn't have padding.... Now I do think he would need to work on himself internally on some of his "complexes" and self image and self confidence?? I love this man to death, but you'd be reassuring him just as much as he is you. He went from the body checking capital of the world to the plastic surgery capital of the world at a formative age; it fucks with your head.
But he would love you, becoming friends would be faster than blinking, but I get the vibe it takes a while to fully trust? He trusts too easily and has been hurt by it in the past so he needs to know that you're gonna he there for him as he is you. He would 100% be the bf to make sure that there are clothes you can wear in his closet but not say anything. He's conscious of how he has insecurities and understands that it takes more than kissing it better and a love making session. It takes work. And he'd be there to remind you every step of the way how much he loves you.
-Minho
This quiet man might surprise you. Now I don't think he'd be the first to come to mind when possibility dating a plus size gf, but this man is a intelligent one. He is introspective, quiet, understanding. He is one of those people in life that either body size wouldn't even cross his mind when dating you, or he would be very conscious of it. Not in a bad way of course.
He is just very concerned about you in how people treat you because of your size, not liking that he gets treated so special cuz he happened to end up being traditionally handsome. Where he sees the mistreatment you deal with and feels protective over you. So he plans ahead, makes sure the restaurant has chairs without arms, would rather people look at him and how OH LOOK ITS LEEKNOW than make you uncomfortable that you think people are staring.
If diets and conversation around diets make you uncomfortable I can see him changing the topic even around the members if you're there. He wants you to be happy and comfortable around him. While he isn't very affectionate or loud about his love its just as deep.
Also.....you got the best ass even if its flat
-Changbin
I think for someone who goes to the gym as much as he does he would understand if someone was having bad experiences tied to it? Like he is paid to work out and have a nutritionist and a stylist and all these team members. Not everyone has that. So he wouldn't pressure you into going with him unless you wanted to go. If you did though he'd be the first one to brag to everyone that you can out-leg press him. It would be the first thing in the group chat in all caps.
Dating Changbin, it is so domestic? I imagine? Like you start dating and he is just this big ol' teddy bear and he would feel so honored if you let yourself be timid around him. Being plus size (insecure or not) you have to have a thick skin, you grow to defend yourself, you protect your heart because people have been cruel and society is a bitch. In doing so the walls are a bit higher, and the fortress is a bit more imposing. But with Binnie, he is a hug that is open anytime anywhere. The absolute pride in his man once you allow yourself to lean on him, or dare to lay on his chest while cuddling? ahhh thats the good stuff
I also think he would be the first one to defend you, knowing the boys love language is poking fun he wouldn't have it if it was you. Be prepared to be presented with one of the boys' heads in a headlock by Binnie if they say anything. He is your knight in shinning armor and will make sure you are laughing and smiling and having a good time. Also he like chan feels more at ease knowing you aren't gonna break if you two get up to something more rough or naughty in the bedroom. Even on a more innocent path just knowing you aren't gonna judge him for how he looks like he doesn't judge yours makes his heart soar.
-Hyunjin
Hyunjin I think would have the most obstacles in regard to dating someone of size. Not that I don't think he wouldn't, but I think with the Korean beauty standard he has a lot of internal stuff he needs to work out before he could be in a healthy relationship. He knows what its like to be judged on only by how you look. He wouldn't want that for you or any of his friends, so I think he would be friends to lovers? You are a great deal of a reality check for him, when he gets very internal and in his head about stuff he goes to you.
So by the time he figures out he has a crush on you his entire art book has already started to look like Renaissance drafts of plus-size women. Starts seeking out media and art that reminds him of you. I don't even think hes conscious that he's doing it? I think it feels like an itch he can't scratch just right and its driving him insane because he doesn't know how to pin down this feeling. Not in art, not in lyrics, it evades him. Till he is standing in front of you, at your apartment, with an Idol worthy bouquet of flowers. Opening his heart and hoping you don't reject him.
Which....would never happen? Your relationship is one of the ages, he writes songs about you, and draws you constantly. In-person he has to be near you, even as simple as playing with your jewelry or showing you memes on his phone while you eat silently side by side. It is a love that is comfort, its like warm clothes out of the dryer for hyunjin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@7ndipity @kaciidubs @itshannjisung @dreamescapeswriting @moonlightndaydreams
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hazerun3 · 1 month
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I just saw your post about the difference between passive and swan. I'd like to ask the difference between young swad and dream?
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shittier doodle this time cuz Im getting tired but the ramblings are probably more unhinged
I dont have particularly strong feelings on dream so this is gonna be mostly younger swad and comparisons to dream when needed
-Views social interaction as inherently transactional and as a game that he can learn to play (he doesnt realise that in the village he was never going to be a player on equal ground, this is why after his ascension his persona is more deity ified rather than a king or smth like nm cuz he wants to be Above it all and in control.)
-Been obsessed with swan even as passives (His Duty to help people got drilled into him, the village feels entitled to his help and swad slowly grows tired of them, but his little brother is always kind to him and doing things for him feels so much more rewarding [tho eventually the village tries to stifle any attempts swad does to get something nice for his brother which frustrates swad so much and swan not asking for anything and just being happy to see him and trying so hard just to make swad happy, even as hes hurt fuels this.] so the mix of the sense of duty, him being the older brother so self imposing a sense of responsibility and swan being nice to him leads him to adopt a mentality where Swan is the only one whos special and actually cares about him not just what he can do for him, but with the way hes raised by the village he tries desperately to try and do something for swan in return cuz he still feels like hes failing in his part of the social bargain)
-Also the cult village placed sooooo much value on stuff like never being angry, always being happy :), youre not allowed to be mean, you Must be hardworking all the time, visibly showing that youre sad is Evil. And swad seethes constantly cuz no one in this fucking village follows that and the one person who embodies all these values the most is swan (who everyone still hates for reasons inexplicable to swad, who believes theres still a way to get swan out of his outcast status if the village just realises that swan is the kindest soul in this rotten place.)
-Dream maintains a more "child" status in the village even as hes older than when swad fights to "adult" status, seeing it as a way to get more social power cuz he picked up that Adults have more power than Children but lol not for him, he just gets to have more responsibilites, the expectation to cut off swan and no money OR gifts for his work cuz gifts are for children doing chores not working adults and since its both swads duty and the fact that he doesnt have anything to spend it on that wouldnt be spending it unwisely they just dont pay him at all! and also hes an object not an adult to them so rushing to try and be an adult backfired miserably
-Swad loves listening to swan read stories to him, reallly wants to be the Prince who saves the damsel and sets his enemies on fire and he projects that persona
-Both he and dream were taken hunting I think, but dream didnt take to it (he had a knack for archery but as soon as he was told to turn that arrow on an innocent bunny he couldnt do it, his more "child" status helps him get out of it) swad was also aprehensive at first but since he places a lot of importance in being the Older Brother and being responsible (also he wants to kill people) so he shoots the bunny, he feels bad and cries about it to swan but he cant let go of the feeling, the smell of blood, the idea of that being someone who hurt swan
-in my head he killed people already lol (used the hunting trips as cover but his hit list is soooooo long and he gets less and less opportunity...)
-he loves shiny things so much but being materialistic and greedy is one of the sins, swan cant get him anything but he does press little flower ornaments for his brother and so much flower jewlery so that swad can roleplay being a prince.
-he hates everyone soooooooo much <3
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popopretty · 1 year
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BSD Chapter 107
"In the Narrow Room" - Part 3.1
We got a rather long chapter this month and the plot is progressing! Asagiri is always so unpredictable and I love it so much.
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Please note that I don't speak English nor Japanese as a native language and I am also super excited about the chapter so I may make mistakes here and there. Please have mercy on me ;_;
SPOILERS AHEAD
After hearing Teruko talk about the true purpose of The Decays of Angel, Atsushi's head becomes confused with all the thoughts of what is right or wrong. He wishes someone could answer all of his questions. He remembers how Dazai used to show up in his thought when he struggles, and wonder why this time he cannot hear Dazai's voice anymore.
He stops at the foot of the tower and notices Aya and Bram there. He tries to go and rescue them, but it turns out to be a trap, with Akutaga jumps out to attack him.
Sigma is finding his way in the prison after escaping from the elevator. He thinks about what happened. He remembers Dazai checking the elevator before getting on it, and realizes that Dazai already knew the elevator was dangerous from the beginning, and he probably just got on it because it is what needs to be done to save the Agency. Sigma also recalls Dazai's expression underwater, he wonders if its the face when Dazai realized that the elevator was going to fall, and that's why Dazai acted the way he did. Sigma wants to run away by himself because he thinks an ordinary person like him cannot do anything. He then found a paper on the floor. It is written in Russian, that says "Save me" (Notes: The original text is just "Please save", it is not clear who it is telling him to save)
Back to Atsushi and Akutagawa. Atsushi still doesn't understand what is happening. He tries to fight back and realizes that Akutagawa is not using his ability to guard himself. Akutagawa instead sucks the blood from his own hand to heal his wound. He doesn't try to cover himself because he can regenerate like that, and it means unless Atsushi kills him, there will be no way to stop him. Atsushi tries to tell him to stop, hoping his consciousness is still there, and that he still wants to ask Akutagawa why he saved his life that time.
In Mersault, Dazai is seen dragging himself and leaning against the wall, covered in blood with his legs broken. He looks up to the surveillance camera and tells Fyodor to put an end to his pain cuz it hurts so bad. Fyodor gladly accepts and sends Chuuya to finish him. Suddenly Sigma enters the room and shoots Fyodor in the shoulder, telling him to stop attacking Dazai. Sigma says he is there cuz he has promised Dazai to touch Fyodor to read his scheme in the airport. Fyodor asks why Sigma has to keep the promise with Dazai, which surprises Sigma himself. Fyodor then proceeds to say that Dazai has manipulated Sigma the whole time, and that normally Sigma is not that kind of a reckless person. He explains that at first, Sigma only wanted a "home" so he would not get used by anyone. But after watching Dazai, Sigma has come to realize that a lonely "home" is not enough. He has started to want not a place, but trust, a relationship where people rely on others without borrowing or trading anything. In other words, he has started to want to become a member of the ADA. Yet, Fyodor adds, it is not Sigma's own thought, but the trick Dazai uses to tamper with his heart.
Sigma thinks back of what Dazai has told him, and still decides to point the gun at Fyodor. Because even if it is a trick, Dazai has paid a big price for it, and accepting a customer's bet is the casino's way. He says he knows Fyodor is trying to manipulate him too, to cause distrust towards Dazai and makes him drop the gun. Sigma then adds that Dazai has won this manipulating competition.
According to the fact that Fyodor has to try to talk him into lower the gun, Sigma concludes that he has no other backup. He tells Fyodor he is going to touch him and read his information, but before that he wants Fyodor to tell him what his ability is, cuz its dangerous to touch someone whose ability might be activated by contact. In the last frame, Sigma changes the question from "What is your ability" to "What the hell are you?"
The chapter ends here. Next chapter will be out on June 2, 2023 (Japan time). Thank you for reading till the end!
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I know this has already been done but I want YOUR take on this…can I pretty plz get headcanons of the paladins (or just Keith Pidge and Lance) accidentally hurting their s/o bad enough to send them to the healing pods…? How would they spend their time while waiting for them to wake up? Angsty with a fluffy ending…? THANK YOU ILYSM 🥹❤️‍🔥
Paladins Accidentally Injuring Reader
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STOP CUZ IM A SUCKER FOR ANGSTY STUFF LIKE THIS💀💀💀 I decided to do ALL of them cuz why not💯💯 also sorry for taking so long to answer, this was sitting in my drafts for awhile, procrastination is not fun😔🙏💔💔 another also, I didn’t proofread this yet but I promise I will💔
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Keith
It all happened so quickly Keith had no idea what had happened
He remembered he was fighting one of Zarkon’s men, relentlessly attacking him with his sword when all of a sudden you came into the picture
While he was on overdrive, the Galra general had taken ahold of you when you tried attacking him from his side, swinging you in front of him
In front of Keith’s brutal attacks…
Using you as a human shield, Keith had no time to stop his sword from swinging down on you
While you did try to stop his attack with your dagger, his force was too strong, resulting in his sword slicing into your shoulder all the way down to your stomach
Keith could never forget the piercing scream you let out
Frozen is shock and horror, he was kicked backwards by the Galra, hearing his footsteps quickly fading from both of you
“Y/N!”
He is a MESS when he gets to you
His hands shake as he tries to apply pressure to your wound, but it’s just too large
His vision just zeros on your face as tears stain your cheeks. Despite whimpering in pain, you want to reassure him that you’re fine, but he doesn’t let you move an inch
By the time the rest of the group gets to him, Keith is too frantic and a bit unstable for him to think correctly
“GET AWAY!”
The group has no idea how to handle this situation as they watch him cradle your now passed-out body, his body shaking from the adrenaline of needing to protect you from anything else
“Keith, listen to me. We need to take Y/N to the castle now if we want them to survive. We can’t do that if you won’t let us help you.”
Shiro is literally the only person who can bring Keith back to earth, words hitting him like a train as he looks down at your body, watching as you take shallow breathes
Keith does not let anyone near you, not in your fragile state. He carries you all the to the castle, whispering apologies as your face twists in pain from every move
Once getting you to the pod room, he only allows Allura and Pidge in the room to help him set up your body and change you into a bodysuit
While you’re in the healing pod, he’s always sitting nearby, waiting in silence for you, hating himself for hurting you so badly
Despite you being out of commission, Voltron still needed to continue its mission
During this time, Keith pushes himself to the absolute MAX
Purposely puts himself in danger, not caring how hurt he gets because nothing can compare to what you had to go through
In a way, this is his own way of punishing himself for hurting the person he cared for
Keith won’t even listen to Shiro, brushing him off whenever the man offered to help patch him up after a more brutal mission
The team definitely gets worried when he begins straying from missions entirely, almost purposely trying to find danger at every corner
So once he finds out you’re out of the healing pod, he is extremely hesitant to see you
But he practically runs to you when Allura tells him you wanted to see him
Seeing him all bruised up upsets you once you find out what he’s been doing
He doesn’t care though, he’s immediately groveling at your feet, apologizing as his eyes slowly filled with unshed tears
“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m so sorry, I hurt you, worse than anyone else I-“
You pull him into a crushing hug, feeling him tense up but slowly relax in your embrace
“None of this was your fault, ok Keith? You may not forgive yourself but I never blamed you for anything.”
You need to comfort Keith so much because this boy almost lost the last familiar person he loved
It takes some time for him to feel secure with you again but the progress you make is enough to set him back in motion
Lots of physical contact occurs now since Keith needs to know that you’re actually with him
He is 100% more protective over you now, always keeping an eye on you when out on missions and protectively standing in front of you during battles
Lance
Lance felt like he was going to throw up
He watched as you quickly were thrown down to the ground, breath caught in his lungs as you laid there unmoving
He was trying to aim for one of the guards that was originally standing in your place, but they had moved last second once they saw him aiming at them
He had no idea that you were right behind the guard, so all he could do was watch in horror as his blast hit your chest, knocking you out in one swift moment
Oh,how he hoped it only knocked you out
Shiro had quickly ran over to your body, checking your neck for a pulse before he abruptly got up, attacking one of the sentries who was aiming at you
Lance was already running to you, sliding over and immediately clutching onto your body
His eyes watered, not able to focus on anything else except your short, shallow breaths
“LANCE YOU NEED TO TAKE THEM BACK TO THE CASTLE! QUICK, I’LL COVER YOU!”
Shiro’s voice brought him back to reality as he picked your body up bridal style and made a dash for his lion
Lance would be so worried over you once they put you in one of the healing pods
He would distance himself from the group immediately afterwards, almost running to his room to just let out the emotions
Oh god, he almost killed you
Lance would be inconsolable during all this, he wouldn’t eat any of Hunk’s food, ignore Keith’s comments that would normally set him over the end, and just not focus on Shiro’s attempts in comforting him
He would spend the days you spend in the pod wandering and moping around the halls of the castle, feeling absolutely terrible for what he did to you
He would sit quietly as your pod door opened, watching from afar as Pidge helped you from falling over
You would notice how everyone around you seemed relieve you see but the one person you really wanted to see stood by the entrance of the room
Lance would not be able to look you in the eyes
“Lance…”
Now he’s a crying mess💔💔
“Y/N! I’m-I’m sorry! If you had actually-“
He just feels awful for what he had done, accident or not
You would stumble over to him, hugging him and feeling as he clutched onto you
His sobs sound throughout the room, the group looking with remorseful eyes, seeing how much this had actually affected him
“You didn’t know Lance. No one could have known that would happen.”
Lance would not be able to leave your side for a few days afterwards
He would still be quiet, but he would slowly begin going back to his usual self
Though during the night, he would get nightmares on the event, only your sweet whisperings could lull him back to a peaceful sleep
After the near death experience, he feels much more aware of his surroundings and how he used his gun
He just cares so much for you, he doesn’t know what he would do if you got hurt like that again
Pidge
Things were going rough for the paladins during their mission, they were slowly losing control on the battle
Seeing an opportunity in front of her, Pidge noticed an electric column near her, already devising a plan
She would wrap her bayards cord around the column, making it an electric extension and have it thrown to their large enemy
It was perfect, until it wasn’t
Not getting the timing right, Pidge quickly threw her bayard to the column, watching the electricity travel through the cord and flying straight to the beast
Except you had jump in front of the beast, hoping to get a hit in, not even realizing the electric cord heading your way
All Pidge could do was yell out your name in horror
“Y/N NO!”
You quickly turned around, eyes wide when you saw what was heading towards you and unable to dodge the electrified weapon
The group could only watch with shocked faces as you screamed out in pain, watching the electricity course through your body
Being the one near a control panel, Keith slashed the entire system, hoping that would at least turn off the electricity
“TEAM FALL BACK!”
Shiro ran towards you, picking up your limp body from the ground and pushing Pidge to run out of the room and into their lions
Her hands shook with fear
She didn’t mean for this to happen. She thought she would be helping everyone. But all she could envision was your body twitching from the last of the electricity leaving your body
Tears formed in her eyes as she let out sobs, ignoring everything else around her, even the concerned words of her paladins
She would be the first one out of her lion, watching with puffy eyes as Shiro quickly took you to the healing pods, not bothering in changing you into a body suit
She would do anything Allura and him asked her to do regarding you
She would ask if there’s anything she can do
She just feels awful like this poor girl :(
Once hearing how long you’d have to stay in the healing pod, she definitely shuts down
It’s almost like she’s a robot, choosing to lock herself away in her room not wanting to see anyone
To distract herself from her guilt and remorse, she buries herself in any new and old projects
Despite clicking away at her laptop, she wouldn’t be able to stay away from you.
Sits out of your pod staring off into space
No matter how many times the group asks, she never tells them how she truly feels
No, they shouldn’t be asking her if she was ok
This was her fault. It was her fault that you had to stay in there, hopefully no longer in pain
Pidge would be the first to know that you’re out since she’s been waiting this entire time
Doesn’t speak a word to you as she helps you out and settles you on one of the stairs
Both of you would sit in silence before you decide to take her hand
“That wasn’t your fault Pidge. It was a smart idea, I was just there at the wrong time.”
Tears would down her face as she would lean her body against yours
“I’m sorry…”
Pidge would lose some confidence in herself, needing your help in building it back up
She would linger behind you now, not wanting to make the same mistakes
Would hold your hand to help her calm down, to know that you’re ok now
Give her lots of hugs man, she needs the support cuz her brain is not the best place to be when she still blames herself for hurting you :((((
Hunk
The Galra took the entire team by surprise while they were busy helping the residents of the planet they were on
Chaos fell throughout the area, the paladins rushing towards the lions to protect the innocent civilians
Despite you being sent to help shelter civilians, Hunk couldn’t help but worry over your safety
Normally you two would be hip to hip next to each other, so not having you near him really put him on edge
While attacking Galra fleets, the yellow paladin wouldn’t be conscious of the small figure running by a cliff nearby
It would be too late for Hunk to react to the rocks that were blasted by his lions beams as they came crashing down on you
His eyes widen in horror as he saw the pieces of rock fall around, watching as you held your shield up in a pathetic way of protecting yourself, only to lose sight of you when a particularly large rock fell over you
“NO!”
His panic would be through the roof as he would leave the rest of the paladins to fight off the galra
Shaky breaths from him are louder than the voices he hears from the comms of his helmet
“Hunk where are you going?!”
“Hunk we need you here now!”
“Guys I need some backup!”
This poor boy would be so overwhelmed with the others voices and trying to find you under all the rubble he unknowingly blasted on you
Yanking his helmet off and tossing it, he would instead focus on digging you out, sighing in relief once he finds you battered up, yet still breathing
Silent tears would travel his face as the yellow lion gently takes you in its mouth, making the difficult decision to leave behind his friends
He could only hope they would forgive him as he hears the panicked and furious yells coming from his helmet
Once at the castle, he would run through the halls to the healing pods, being careful to not hurt you any further
Hunk would fully blame himself
He just feels awful about the condition you’re in, babbling out what had happened as Coran propped you in a pod
“There was nothing you could have done, Hunk.” Coran’s reassuring hand on his shoulder wouldn’t help with his inner turmoil, especially once the rest of the team barges in
“Hunk! You just totally left us out there!” Lance hadn’t a clue what had happened
Overwhelmed, the team could only watch as tears and sniffles came from Hunk
After the event, Hunk would definitely be distant from the team
While the others would try to cheer him up, nothing could really bring him out of his head
The team would notice how he almost resembled a zombie during meetings and missions, on autopilot since that fateful day
In order to distract himself from his own feelings, Hunk would spend most of his free time cooking and baking
Though no matter how much dishes he cooks, everyone notices how each meal seems to be a bit off, never really tasting or looking right
He would also spend a lot of his time sitting in front of you, kinda having mini conversations with you (even though you can’t respond💔)
Hunk can’t sleep at night either since he gets waken up by his nightmares, constantly seeing your fragile body hiding underneath all the rubble in his dreams
I feel so bad for him because literally no one could have expected you to be caught in the crossfire of the battle
Shiro would try to talk to him, but his words would go in one ear and out the other, resulting in Hunk staring off into the distance with a reminiscent look im his eyes
One particular night though, his nightmare would scare him too much, not allowing him to go to sleep anymore
Rubbing his eyes in exhaustion, Hunk walks to the kitchen in the dead of night, needing to snack on something to distract himself from his pounding heart
Hearing footsteps, he would look over his shoulder from the fridge to see who else needed something to eat only to widen his eyes
“Y/N?”
Leaning on the entrance, your tired eyes met with his tired ones, and you would stumble towards him
Hunk puts down his food to quickly run over to you, helping you to a seat as his eyes shined with unshed tears
“What’s wrong Hunk? Did something happen?”
The way your hands rubbed under his eyes did not stop even when he closed his eyes, allowing his tears to finally fall
The room, lit only by the open fridge, filled with the sounds of Hunks sniffling as you drew him into a hug from your seat
“I thought that I had k-killed-“
“Hey. Don’t say that. I’m here, I’m alive, and that’s all that should matter.”
Taking a shaky breath, Hunk would pull away, bringing your hands back to his face as his head leaned into them
“I know. I’m just really, really sorry. I should have payed more attention.”
“It’s ok Hunk. If anything, I should be sorry, I shouldn’t have run into a clear danger zone.”
Hunk preps you a quick meal before taking you to bed, insisting you need as much rest as possible
He sleeps peacefully at last once he has you in his arms💔💔💔
Expect lots of hand-holding and hugs from this dude
He needs a lot of reassurance from you to remind him that you’re actually there next to him
Cooks you so much food, putting so much effort into each meals and making everything beyond your standards
(The team is definitely happy over this, now that they don’t have to eat any more space goo💀)
Would be protective of you the first few days since you’ve woken up, he’s just really paranoid of you getting injured like that again :(
Since that event, Hunk would be extremely cautious of his surroundings, making sure to avoid any more preventable injuries to those around him
Shiro
He has no idea what had happened
One minute he’s fighting alongside you against the sentries shooting at the two of you and the next he’s slammed you against a wall
He tries fighting himself from hurting you any further but the loud whisperings in his head seem to take control of his body
In that moment, you don’t recognize the man standing in front of you
Ducking and stumbling away, you quickly evade Shiro’s glowing hand, watching in horror as it goes through the wall
“SHIRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
His crazed eyes makes contact with yours, once again rushing towards you
In the corner of your eye you see a figure vanishing in thin air, realizing it might have been the witch Allura had told you all about
Distracted, Shiro manages to land a blow on your side causing you to grunt in pain and go tumbling towards the ground
You barely roll away before his fist meets the spot you once were at
“SHIRO PLEASE! THIS ISN’T YOU!”
You’re words don’t seem to have any affect on him as he’s up once again and heading straight towards you
As much as you hate the thought, you know you have to protect yourself from him as he’s too dangerous in the state he’s in
You’re dagger clashes against his metal arm, his strength slowly over powering you because of your injured arm
Kicking your side, Shiro’s narrowed eyes meet yours before he’s picking you up the ground
You grip his metal hand as it tightens around your neck, your breathing becoming shallow as he cuts off your airway
“Shiro… I forgive you…” You knew this wasn’t you’re Shiro, the man you knew coming out for a moment when you saw his eyes widen in surprise before going straight back to the dull black ones that stared straight through you
It was only when Lance began shooting at him out of no where did he throw you against a wall, officially knocking you out
Keith slammed his body against Shiro’s causing the two of them to crash on the ground, trying to over power the other
Then that’s when his head was finally able to clear up and stop fighting against Keith
“What’s going on? Why are we fighting?”
Everyone would stare in disbelief before quickly explaining what happened, Hunk already carrying your body towards the group, shielding you from the eyes of Shiro
He would stare in shock at the state of your body though, flashes of what might’ve happened going through his mind
Heading back to the castle, everyone would still be on edge around him
Seeing what he had done to you, this man does some serious evaluations on himself
How could he possibly hurt you, someone he cared for, this much?
Seeing the bruises forming on your neck scares him
If he did this to you, Shiro can’t imagine how far he would’ve gone if he wasn’t stopped in time
During your time in the healing pod, Shiro would distance himself from the team as he doesn’t fully trust himself enough around them, fearing he might hurt them all as well
He visits you daily, but once one of the other paladins enters the room he’s quickly excusing himself and walking away
He feels EXTREMELY guilty over what he did, going through many sleepless nights
He had almost killed you
He is harsher on the team during missions as well since he doesn’t want a repeat of what had happened with you
He is way harsher on himself too
Spends his time in the training room, tiring himself out with the gladiator, pushing his body past its limit
Still remembers what you said to him, so while you said you forgave him, I don’t think he would ever be able to forgive himself for hurting you
The team would notice the strain on them when Shiro began distancing himself from them
He was the one who put them all together so it really hurt them to see him struggle with the recent event
Once you finally awake from the pods, Shiro is the last one to greet you
You notice how he stands at a distance which causes you to narrow your eyes
“What’s wrong Shiro?”
The way you immediately notice his coldness causes his fake smile to strain
It never ceased to amaze him how you could see past him
He would explain his concerned to you once everyone decided to give you both privacy, how he was afraid of losing control again, how he had almost killed you
What had happened made him uncomfortable, knowing the power he held with his arm
You smile sadly as him reaching for his metal hand, faltering when he slightly moved it away from you
Sadness filled his eyes as he glanced to his arm before letting you take his hand
“I don’t blame you for anything Shiro. I know that wasn’t you, I know the real you. You would rather sacrifice your own life to save one of us, so please don’t be so harsh on yourself. You couldn’t control what happened.”
“Exactly. I couldn’t control what happened, I couldn’t control my own body.”
Your reunion was bittersweet to say the least
He is much more cautious around you
Keeps his distance for a few days before ultimately choosing to stay by your side
He wants to do anything to make up for your injuries
Much more softer around you and the others now that he knows you’re ok💔
Allura
“Allura what are you doing?!”
The mission the team was on was extremely crucial since, if successful, they would be able to retrieve valuable intel on Zarkons plans (ooo so original)
And it involved taking down his witch, Haggar
Allura was all for the plan and took it very serious
She believed this was one of their most important missions yet
So while it did surprise the group on how brutal the princess was in fighting her way to Haggar, no one really tried to stop her, knowing just how much it meant for them to get this information
Yet you could see the danger her aggressive behavior was dragging her in
You’d jump in front of her, trying to stop her from pushing herself too far
“Y/N what are you doing?! We must stop that witch from getting away!”
Allura was on a one track kind, take down Haggar and get any useful info from her, but you were making it extremely difficult to do so
Blinded by her own needs, she didn’t take into account of how hard she had thrown you to the ground away from her when she managed to wrap her bayard around you
Running from your injured self to Haggard, she was yanked to the ground
“Allura watch out!”
She could only watch in shock as you dashed in front of her from the ground to protect her from the blast Haggard sent
Her hands shook as she watched your body hit the ground
Haggar was getting ready to blast you both again, forcing Allura to attempt to drag you away before a searing pain filled her body, causing her to crumble down to the ground beside you
Tears filled her eyes as she watched in pain as your breathing became ragged
You both were in this situation because of her
Allura was forced to watch as the witch made her escape, the mission resulting in a failure
After getting help from the paladins and returning to the house of lions, Allura would immediately distance herself from everyone
She’s not only disappointed in herself for costing the team their mission, but she feels terrible for putting your life at such a high risk, all because she didn’t know when to stop
She would mostly lock herself up in her room while you spend your time in the healing pods
Whenever someone tried to approach her door, they would only be met with the sound of her soft sobs
When she isn’t in her room though, Allura is extremely harsh and temperamental with the others
She doesn’t know how to properly release her emotions which causes her to lash out often to those around her
She would be too afraid to visit you in the healing bay
She feels too ashamed to face you, even if you aren’t really conscious
I also think she would brush aside any concern the team may show for her, instead, trying to keep up her image as a strong leader
(Which isn’t working out, everyone can see she’s basically a ticking time bomb)
Allura pushes herself even harder now during missions and battles, which is lowkey kinda hypocritical of her since that’s what got her in that position in the first place
After briefly talking with Keith, Allura would find herself in the training deck, hoping to relieve some of her pent up emotions with the gladiator
Maxing out to the highest possible level, the princess managed to tire herself out, not having enough energy to beat the machine
Grunting in pain, she waited for the gladiator to land a hit on her before she heard the voice of the person she was dreading to see
“End training sequence!”
You would run to her and cradle her body, concern written all over your face
Despite putting you in danger and managing to hurt you in the process, you still cared for her well-being
Tears well up in the princesses eyes before she gave you a crushing hug
Feeling her body shake against yours, you gently wrap your arms around her, whispering soothing words
“I almost got you killed…”
“I’m still here, are’t I?”
Allura would definitely learn a lot through that experience
She would stop pushing herself so hard and begin relying on her team to assist her during missions
She would also linger around you more often than not
She still feels incredibly guilty for what she put you through, but doesn’t tell you (you know though💔)
I also think that she MIGHT be more open to physical affection in front of the others since she needs to confirm that you’re still alive and popping
Holding your hand is something that she does a lot now since it soothes her heart knowing you’re still with her
Expect her to be a little more protective of you though, she does not want you to be in such a critical state again
She doesn’t want to lose you too :(
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gatorbites-imagines · 4 months
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Male Reader spanking zoro after he put himself in danger? But zoro is still defending himself so reader becomes actually angry at zoro for not thinking about himself (or reader and how reader would live without him) and leaves zoro in the middle of the punishment before he says something he regrets and avoids zoro the next few days until the crew is like "this can't go on" and traps them together for an entire day in a room. They both break easily and end up cuddling for the most part (after some creampies)
Roronoa Zoro x male reader
headcanons
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I love Zoro so much, its not even funny anymore.
Punishing Zoro was a chore in an of itself, since hes such a tough guy used to most types of pain. This also leads to him being very into painplay, so most usual methods of punishments don’t work on him.
It would take a lot of spanking to get Zoro to buckle, which is why he easily talks back when you do end up spanking him as punishment. Normally you would do something more advanced, mixing it with something else, but this time you are so worked up about almost losing him that you don’t have the energy.
Even as you scold him and tell him what a dumb idea it was to jump into danger like that, Zoro stats resolute in his decision, just squaring his shoulders and stabilizing his stance, letting you take your hand or paddle or whatever you’re using on him.
It ends up having the opposite effect of what you’re going for, since Zoro is probably still running on adrenaline from the fight you just got back from. Instead of making him cry and apologize, it has him shuddering and moaning, eye clenching shut as he tries to push his hips back at you.
But even then, he still defends what he did, even when you say you could have lost him, since its his duty as the strawhats swordsman and first mate.
It makes you so angry and makes your heart hurt so much you know you just need to step back before you say or do something you’ll regret, so you just lift your hands, step back, and leave with an angry exhale.
After being left wanting and shuddering like that, Zoro probably starts to feel kinda petty and wronged too, cuz he doesn’t see why you are so worked up about what he did.
So, you two start avoiding each other, and the ship gets super tense for literally everyone, especially since neither you or Zoro will tell the rest of the crew what is up. They all just know you two probably had a fight, and a bad one at that with how you guys are acting.
It starts to take a toll on the rest of the crew when you guys’ won’t even be in the same room together, or even talk to each other. They know it’s especially bad when you guys stop sleeping in the room Franky built specifically for you two, when you became a couple.
The next time the crew needs to restock, its probably Luffy that ends up trapping you guys in your room together, as he doesn’t want his crew to fight, and cuz literally everyone has been walking on eggshells.
This results in you and Zoro being trapped inside your room the entire day as the crew it away getting supplies and whatever they do on new islands.
Theres a lot of tense silence as you both sit on either side of the room, not even looking at each other for a while. I’m not even sure who cracks first and starts talking, if you are just as stubborn as Zoro.
But one of you starts opening up about it, and you end up explaining how much it hurts that Zoro cares so little for his own safety, and that he would just leave you behind so easily. Zoro, whos never really thought about it that deeply, feels his heart break that you thought he didn’t love you enough to want to stay.
Cue Zoro saying some super heartfelt thing about how you mean so much to him, and one of the reasons he tries to hard to keep the crew safe is cuz he loves you so much. He isn’t the best with words, but he gets it out in a way that has your heart warming up.
It ends up with you guys actually talking about your emotions, and with you two tumbling into bed together, kissing like you haven’t seen each other in months. Its surprisingly soft from both of you, kissing and touching and being so loving.
The breath is completely knocked out of you when Zoro starts riding you, because how couldn’t it, having all 198 lb. of muscular swordman bouncing up and down on your cock, his callused hands gripping at your shoulders or chest.
Zoro takes riding you as serious as any of his other exercise, his eye serious and face flushed as he uses just his thighs to lift and lower himself, not even letting you help in thrusting up into him. You just end up holding his hips and groping his torso, going along with the ride.
You guys are probably lucky that the entire crew is off the ship, or else they’d hear how loud Zoro moans when you hit his prostate and take his pecs into your mouth at the same time. You’ll probably end up with a headache from how hard he pulls your hair though, he loses track of his strength sometimes when riding you.
You get exhausted much longer before Zoro does, overstimulation sending electricity through your entire body as Zoro keeps riding you, even when your first load is squelching right out of him around your shaft.
Hes a beast, but he’s your beast, and if being sucked dry like a juice box is what it takes, you’ll happily do it. It just ends up with you feel extra dehydrated and shaky legged. This is why you normally wring him out in the beginning, so you can keep up with his insane stamina.
After Zoro has had his fill and painted your torso white with his own spend, he flops down beside you and buries his face into your neck, just inhaling you and needing you close.
You would end up clinging to him too, mumbling something about how you don’t wanna lose him, to which Zoro replies that you wont if he has anything to say about it.
Cue lots of softer and loving kisses and caresses, sweet words mumbled just between lovers, before you guys fall asleep. Zoro most likely ends up asleep first, for once completely asleep instead of the type of half naps he normally takes.
When the crew returns later, some of them will be able to guess immediately what you guys were up too, especially if your knees are still feeling weak from how much Zoro drained you.
But you guys are talking and back to acting like you normally do, so that’s all that matters. I could see Nami teasing you guys about it though, whilst Robin just laughs a little to herself because its entertaining.
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alethianightsong · 6 months
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Atlantis: the Lost Empire subverts the "White Savior" trope so well and here's my Ted talk tangent
Atlantis: the Lost Empire is just Avatar but with a smarter story. Both films feature a young white man discovering a foreign culture, falling for the culture's princess, and saving the natives' way of life. Both films commentate on the exploitation of indigenous people for their resources. The biggest fundamental difference between Avatar and Atlantis is how the white male leads approach their scenarios. Milo Thatch is a wide-eyed scholar who just wants to learn; Jake Sullivan is a soldier infiltrating the culture so he can exploit them. Milo never had any intention of hurting/exploiting the natives but the people around him did; Jake knew the end goal was exploitation and only changed his alliance when he fell in love. Kida comes to Milo for help and he approaches her with respect not condescension; Jake has to learn the planet and its people are worthy of respect. Milo is attracted to Kida but he doesn't save her so he can get the girl; he saves her to save her people (getting the girl was a luxury and even then, it's obvious they'll take things slow cuz there's more important things than romance like reconnecting the Atlanteans with the lost parts of their culture). The Atlanteans are also not harmless, primitive natives. They had super-advanced technology ie the Leviathan that took out a modern submarine in like 2 minutes while the Navi are overtly primitive, their simplicity treated as a virtue. The Atlanteans were so advanced that they sent themselves back to the Stone Age with their war tech. This little detail keeps the Atlanteans from being hippie-dippie natives who need rescuing and make them a cautionary tale; they used to be greedy, hyper-advanced warmongers and that hubris leaves their race and culture on the verge of extinction. Both the Navi and Atlanteans have spiritual, mystical aspects to them, but the Navi are anti-tech while it's only the rediscovery of their tech that allows the Atlanteans to save themselves. The primitive life we see the Atlanteans lead is not presented as ideal; it is the death throes of a culture, a fatal stagnation at the bottom of the world. When Kida and Milo meet, it's not the typical "more advanced culture taking from the weaker culture" that has come to define first contact between societies. It's quid pro quo: we both answer, we both listen, we both come away with more not one party coming away with less. No one is humbled or talked down to. As for the antagonists of both films (Avatar and Atlantis) the antagonists of Avatar are just cardboard cutouts. The antagonists of Atlantis are just disinherited individuals coming together for a treasure hunt. There's a gag where Milo asks what each character seeks and they all say "Money" but that's not it. They each want to pursue goals unique to them and they need money to do it. When the chips are down and it's either money or NOT dooming an entire lost tribe to death, they choose saving the tribe. The main big bads, Rourke and Helga, have just spent a day walking through a ruined city where people live in the remains of their greatness and think, "Yeah, we are so stealing their technology so we can reenact the fall of their civilization on our OWN civilization. Why? Cuz capitalism." Why am I talking so much about Atlantis but not Avatar? Because Avatar lacks depth. I've watched Atlantis a thousand times on my cheap 2000s-era TV and get pulled in each time but Avatar's just a pretty screensaver playing in the background.
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