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lucysarah-c · 1 month

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WE NEED AN ENTIRE STORY OF LEVI AS A BABY BOY DADDY! LIKE PLEASE ITS ACTUALLY TOO GOOD 🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭

You all have inspired me to write a one-shot, so I'll post it soon. Thank you so much!

But since I'm on it, I think I'll give you a few headcanons.

In my idea, Levi didn't have many children, and while sometimes my scenarios may change depending on the situation, mostly Levi's boy would be an only child. This wasn't Levi's original idea, and I'll explain why.

Leaving aside whether in the canon period of time there are real contraceptives or not, I 100% believe Levi is a highly meticulous guy. If he needs to pull out and count days in the old-fashioned way, he will. If he has to wear condoms every single time, he will. I believe Levi would try to make sure that if he ever has a child, it would be planned, as far as is humanly possible, of course. Sometimes contraceptives fail, etc.

In my mind, I believe Levi and Y/N decided or happened to have a kid around the time before the expedition to Wall Maria. There was about half a year when the scouts waited for the correct time to do the expedition to Wall Maria. Well, I believe she probably got pregnant around that time. I believe it was a mix between Levi transitioning a lot of emotions after Kenny's death, etc., and having more free time on his hands since they weren't doing expeditions while preparing for the mission… and well… let's say they decided to go handy, haha.

With that said… I think Levi would hardly admit it out loud, but he's one of those guys who always wanted to be parents, so they kinda said, "You know what? Fuck it, if it happens, it happens," and well, it happened almost immediately. Levi hears the news around two months later, and let me tell you, this man is all over the moon. He wants to be part of EVERYTHING. For me, Levi wants to prove that he is better than the men who failed his mother and also failed him. Levi wants to prove he can be a present father.

She goes to the doctor for just a check, he wants to be there. Better keep his man informed because he would ask a million questions. He's a first-time father, and she may sneeze, and he's all worried. Levi saw too many women die in childbirth or from difficult pregnancies in the underground. He's blessed with the chance of being a father, but also terrified. Levi feels that if he loses his love just because he "grew selfish" and asked for more (aka asked for a kid), he would feel horrible.

Anyways, back in the day, men waited outside during birth, and I believe they would try to kick Levi out of the room, and he would be like, "and who is going to stop me?" He wants to be there.

Now is when his baby boy comes into the picture. I believe, and God bless the mother, he was such a healthy CHUNKY boy. He was BIG. Those kinds of kids that look so healthy but at the same time, it's like "he literally sucked her dry, that baby took anything the mother has to offer."

Like, she's too tired after childbirth, and the nurses offer Levi feeding bottles with milk to keep the baby eating while the mother rests… and the baby is EATING to the point a doctor comes, pats Levi's arm playfully, and says, "Hope you've a good salary, Captain, because that kid is going to eat like a horse."

Perhaps these are the only few times that Levi is the most excited out of the two, she's tired from all the work, and Levi is over the moon. Ah, but don't you dare to touch his baby without washing your hands. If Levi could force you to take a bath in chlorine before even getting close to his baby, he would.

Aside from that, I think Levi's baby boy that I've named in my mind "Adrien" because Y/N thinks that naming her kids with A's to match the last name, especially since Ackerman's are finally able to not be in hiding.

In my mind, Adrien inherits Kenny's height. Yes, as you heard, KENNY'S HEIGHT. 190cm (6'3"). He's a big boy. I think it's funny that all the doctors check the baby and say, "haha, he's going to be tall!" and Levi is there looking at her like "… I don't like to admit I'm short as fuck, but if the kid isn't mine you can tell me," joking obviously, lmao.

"Levi, the kid is a photocopy of you."

Adrien is an extremely playful, happy, and hyperactive kid. He's so cheerful, and it makes Levi wish his mother was around so he could ask if he was such a cheerful kid too.

Chunky fat legs running down the halls as he doesn't even speak properly, but he already knows which office is daddy's office. He loves horses, he loves playing soldier, he loves being a daddy's boy.

This is when I mention that I believe Levi having a single child wasn't his original plan. I think he wished to give Adrien a sibling to make sure he won't be alone in life if anything ever happens to him as he was. But the whole rumbling happened, and after that, Levi was too busy trying to move him and his family outside of Paradise and after that settling down, taking care of Gabi and Falcon, that well time flew, and when everything was back to calmness, haha, well let's say that Levi had to admit that the train had left the station, and his energy to go back to change diapers had kinda withdrawn, lmao.

Finally, I think Adrien was a very hyperactive kid mainly because of the Ackerman genes. He has energy, he has strength, he has the abilities. He just has too much bottled up and doesn't know how to get tired. Levi is basically running around making sure the kid isn't jumping from the roof or climbing the kitchen cupboards. He probably ends up signing him up for a bunch of activities: baseball, self-defense classes, football, triathlon.

I have a bunch of other headcanons, so let me know if you want more!"

Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @i-literally-cant-with-this @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @s0meb0dy-0nce-t0ld-me @trashblackrainbow @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @flxrartsstuff @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 Wanna join my tag list? Here!

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walkawaytall · 3 months

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I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

#adhd #adult adhd #adhd combined #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd treatment

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glowupwithamy · 19 days

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Solitude is your path of personal independence -

Being alone makes me really happy its like my special place where i can be myself and feel good i don't feel the need for another person to take responsibility for my happiness and emotional needs and i don't really want somebody in the phase i am in i can think and be creative without any interruptions it's like a peaceful break from everything else

Being alone helps me find peace in simple things like reading or walking outside these moments refresh me and make me feel more creative. Being alone also helps me understand myself better now I can think deeply about my feelings and thoughts which helps me grow as a person indeed.

Solitude is a phase that teaches you how to handle your emotions and bad days without relying on someone else. It actually teaches you how to live without depending on others and without ranting about your problems to them

And i want to message those people who constantly seek emotional support from everyone and keep crying that they need someone i feel they need to work on themselves or they have to accept the situation and think about what they can do themselves..instead of constantly seeking attention. Seeking attention all the time makes you mentally weak remember that. I feel that they should question themselves "Why do i need someone else am i not enough?"

Being alone doesn't mean staying comfortable It's about finding strength and discovering who you are ...it's about facing challenges, overcoming fears, and becoming stronger ..when you're alone you have the power to chase your dreams and conquer obstacles so don't think it's not brave to be alone it actually shows how strong and determined you really are.

Solitude makes you quickly observe things around you apart from the world of social media. If you begin on a journey of self discovery and learn to be with yourself ...you won't feel the need for others as much. This journey is very difficult I'm not saying that it's easy lol no!! especially for those who can't live without relying on others but if you want your future self to thank you then don't hesitate just start today . Because today's generation is busy distracting people but we need to bring self control. If you want to understand yourself better.

It took me three years to get in this habit and now i don't need anyone. I don't like to share my problems with anyone because i don't feel it's necessary. I have made myself mentally strong to the point where i don't feel the need for a second person

Last Note :

And if you guys have any questions or anything to ask related to this don't hesitate you can ask me freely :) thanks for giving your time

I have a self discovery questions sheets so that you can guys know yourself better if you want that Dm me 🎀

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uvobreakmylegs · 9 months

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When Push Comes to Shove

first Shoot fic :D

Warnings: stalking, depictions of violence, kidnapping

Word count: 4.9k

The apartment was largely empty; the walls were bare and the only pieces of furniture within the unit were a small table, a chair and a sleeping bag that stayed out in the living room area as opposed to the bedroom. The only other pieces of miscellaneous objects was the phone that was currently plugged into a charger, a bag and a small pile of laundry that had yet to be washed. Other than those things, there was little else in the apartment unit.

Aside from Shoot himself.

Currently he was standing near the window that looked over a parking lot and a different apartment building across the way, peering through the glass as he watched his current target.

….. Using the word target didn't feel quite right in this situation. Even if it was accurate. Even if the person he was watching was one that he'd been watching for months now.

No, 'watching' wasn't the correct term; what he was doing was stalking.

But it was different, he told himself.

After all, Shoot didn't mean you any harm. He just wanted you to be with him.

But actually going through and making that desire a reality was where he was slipping up.

In his role of a Beast Hunter, Shoot had faced down hordes of charging animals and encountered all sorts of shady characters in the most hostile of environments, but somehow the thought of taking you, a defenseless civilian, felt like the more difficult task. As usual, his cowardice would show its face at the worst possible time.

He sighed to himself, and then looked back again to a particular window in the apartment building across from his.

You were in the same place: on the couch in your living room with your laptop, your eyes focused on the screen and your mouth set in a slight frown.

No doubt you were looking through available job listings.

The company you had worked at previously had downsized, causing a fair amount of employees to be laid off. Unfortunately, you were among those that were deemed to be expendable.

All that had happened a few months prior, and you had since gotten a temporary job. It wasn't one that you liked, however, and you had told everyone around you that it was just something to keep yourself afloat until you found something better. Except the 'something better' that you were looking for had yet to reveal itself to you, so you'd been scouring job sites and putting in your resume where you could, though it wasn't going as well as you'd hoped. You were still stuck with a job you didn't like, and came back home after every shift exhausted and stressed.

Shoot had been keeping an eye on you since you'd gotten back today, and some time had now passed since you first opened up your laptop in search of a job better suited to you. Though it seemed as if you were finishing up with the job search tonight, as he watched while you sighed to yourself and then shut the laptop closed, stretching your arms out over your head after. It was confirmed to him when you pulled out your phone and began scrolling through it aimlessly.

No luck tonight, but you'd try again tomorrow. That was most likely your line of thinking.

He hoped you'd eat something soon, though. Since getting back, you all you had done was take a shower and then immediately after went on the job search, and the only thing he'd seen you consume during that time was a single glass of water.

You needed to take better care of yourself.

But as much as he wished he could head over to your unit and remind you to eat something, all that would result in was you becoming afraid of him when you realized that he had been watching you. Plus some possible issues with law enforcement if you were to go to the police. Though with his Hunter license on hand, they wouldn't be able to do much of anything even if they did manage to come across him. But it would no doubt cause you stress.

That worry about your well-being was also why he was in this current predicament:

As much as Shoot wanted you, he worried about how well you would take it if he went through with kidnapping you. No matter what, your mental state would suffer and you would definitely hate him in the beginning.

Shoot sighed again, chiding himself internally. There had been a time when needing to take you wouldn't have been necessary, when he could've possibly approached you and started up a relationship in a 'normal' way. But every time he had tried, he always ended up psyching himself out and running off before you could even lay eyes on him.

And every time after, as he berated himself while staring at you from the apartment he rented for the sole purpose of keeping an eye on you, he told himself that he could try again next time, and that he'd be successful then. That he had as much time as he needed to accomplish that.

What a stupid thought.

He should've known better. Not just as a Hunter, but as someone with common sense. He should've known that he couldn't have expected that things would always stay the same with you, that you would magically stay single until he finally built up the nerve to speak to you.

Shoot noticed when the screen of your phone suddenly lit up as you received a phone call, and after reading the name on the screen, you smiled to yourself.

Based on that reaction, Shoot already had an idea as to who was calling, and his suspicions were confirmed when you answered the phone and he read your lips as you greeted the caller with a 'hey babe'.

The only person you would speak to like that was Kian.

Your boyfriend.

The two of you had only been going out for over a month now, but it seemed to be going well for you. And despite the short amount of time together, you always seemed so happy whenever you spoke to him after a difficult day.

Just like now, when he saw you smiling at something Kian had said and observed the way the tension left your shoulders. Just because of a few words from him.

…..

… Ah, damn.

Shoot realized that he was grinding his teeth again. It was a bad habit that he'd begun only recently, coinciding with when you started dating Kian. Just knowing that another man was spending time with you like that frustrated Shoot more than he thought possible.

It was even worse to see another man touching you.

Though that was his own fault, he reminded himself. For never getting up the courage to approach you and telling himself that it was fine to continue hanging back and watching you from afar. That cowardice of his had cost him his opportunity, and now he was forced to watch you go on dates and being affectionate with your boyfriend.

Despite that, Shoot couldn't bring himself to do anything to your boyfriend. Not only because he truly didn't enjoy hurting others, but he was aware that Kian hadn't done anything wrong. Even if he frustrated Shoot just by the way he spoke to you, you had chosen him, so it was natural that he would be loving towards you and that you would respond in kind.

Shoot simply disagreed with your choice.

You were still on the phone with Kian, and Shoot could tell most of what you were saying by reading your lip movements, though you occasionally made it difficult whenever you turned your head away from the direction of the window. The topic was your job search and how you still hadn't heard anything from any of the places you'd applied to.

After you said that, your expression fell slightly, and your demeanor was more in line with what he'd seen when you were on those job sites earlier. But that changed when your boyfriend said something to you, and there was a smile on your face once more. It looked like you were agreeing with him.

I sent in an application to Motoba, too. Maybe they'll like my resume.

That was the last thing he could decipher before you changed the topic away from the job hunt and instead asked your boyfriend how his day had been. After that, you were mostly quiet, only piping in occasionally with some comment to whatever your boyfriend was saying.

All Shoot could hope for was that this wouldn't be a call that lasted hours again. It wasn't terribly late, but you had a tendency to talk for a long time with Kian. And you still hadn't eaten.

Tell him that you need to hang up, Shoot silently urged you. That you need to do the bare minimum in taking care of yourself. If he really cares about you, he'll respect that.

All you did was reach for the glass of water you'd gotten for yourself earlier and drink what little was still left in it.

And the phone call was still ongoing.

Shoot sighed.

Once again, all he could do was watch. Watch and wait until you were done talking with him, and then hope that you'd get some dinner before you eventually went to bed. At least you could get a decent rest tonight, he thought to himself. Your job had scheduled you to work in the early afternoon tomorrow, so you could sleep in if you needed to.

That would likely be the only highlight, however. After that, it would be another day where you worked hard at a job you hated before returning home to continue your unsuccessful search for one that would be better for you. All because Shoot couldn't bring himself to follow through.

Because every time he felt like he could go to you and catch you off-guard, a voice in his head would give him some reason as to why he shouldn't.

Breaking in would make too much noise and leave too much damage.

You would fight him and he'd need to use more force than he wanted.

There were too many bystanders in the area that would either act as would-be rescuers or potential witnesses to your kidnapping.

Every time, lines of reasoning like that would pop into his head, and his cowardice would reappear as he once again did nothing to put an end to the limbo he'd created for himself.

And that was the case now, it seemed.

It was unlikely that anything more would happen tonight. Once again he was disappointed in himself for having squandered another chance to take you, but he countered that by telling himself that it would be fine; he'd follow through once he worked himself up to it.

….. Wasn't that mentality the reason he was in this predicament in the first place?

He found that he wanted to assure himself that it'd be different tomorrow, that he would finally follow through and make his desire to have you for himself a reality.

Unfortunately, that was also something he'd said to himself far too often.

Shoot glanced over to you again, just in time to see that you were now speaking, and he read the words on your lips again.

Yeah, that sounds great! I work later tomorrow, anyway.

Shoot's brows furrowed.

What had you just agreed to?

You stood up and turned around as you ended the call, inadvertently keeping Shoot from being able to tell what you said to your boyfriend before hanging up. Then you walked away from the window, heading towards your bedroom.

A pit formed in Shoot's stomach; it felt like something was going to happen that he wouldn't like.

When you walked back into view, you were carrying a small backpack, finishing up in stuffing extra clothes inside before tossing the backpack onto the couch and collecting your shoes from the other side of the room.

You were going over to spend the night with him, Shoot realized.

All the signs were pointing to that, and he felt his teeth grinding again.

….. No.

He wasn't going to let that happen.

But what could he do to stop you? Your boyfriend was expecting you and he would quickly notice that you were missing when you didn't show up at his place if Shoot chose to take you then. At the very least the Hunter wanted a few hours head start before anyone realized you were gone. That couldn't be accomplished at the moment.

It likely wouldn't be questioned it if you canceled on those plans, though. But the only way Shoot could see that happening was if he grabbed you on your way out and forced you to call up your boyfriend to tell him that you weren't going over. That would probably require threatening you, something Shoot didn't think he could do even if he didn't mean it. And it still ran the risk of you blurting out something over the phone and thereby making his efforts pointless.

No, the safest way would be if you canceled on your own.

But was there any way he could get you to do that?

Not sure of what to do, Shoot looked about his own unit, if there was possibly anything in there that could help him. That was when he caught sight of his phone, still plugged in and fully charged, and a thought struck him.

It was a bit late, but not so late that it would be outrageous if you were to get a call from one of the companies you applied to. Even if it was still odd, you were probably desperate enough to not question it.

And the name you had mentioned during your call... It was Motoba, wasn't it?

Taking in a deep breath after retrieving his phone, Shoot typed in the number to call your cellphone, a number he had learned and memorized a while ago but never had any reason to use. He then put the phone up to his ear, and listened as the line began to ring.

So much time spent watching you, but it was only now, when he felt that his back was up against the wall that he'd managed to make himself go forward with something.

Not the best tendency to have, but at least it was some assurance for himself: when push came to shove, Shoot could do what needed to be done.

He moved towards the window again, peeking out of it to see if he might see you again. Sadly, there was no sign of you in the window of your apartment, but after the phone rang twice, he heard you pick up.

“Hello?”

Your voice came through the phone's speaker, and Shoot felt as though his heart was fluttering at the sound. Realization hit him that this was the first time the two of you would exchange words.

Trying to keep his tone level, he addressed you by your first and last name as he asked if that was who he was speaking to. He needed to do his best to keep from messing this up.

“Who is this?” you asked.

The next attempt at speaking to you failed, and he needed to clear his throat again before he could get the words out. There was a time where he'd needed to impersonate a company worker and convince the manager in charge of an oil rig to allow Morel and Knuckle access when the management on said rig had refused to be accommodating towards the Hunters. As long as he put himself in the same mindset that he had for that job, he could pull this off too.

“I work for Motoba,” Shoot began, “I'm calling about the application you sent in.”

“Oh!”

There was more of a cheerful tone to your voice now, and he heard you walking about the apartment as you spoke again. He still didn't see you – you must've been in your bedroom.

“For the assistant position?” you asked.

“Yes, the position you applied for.”

Shoot immediately felt awkward answering like that and added “I wanted to know if you could come in tomorrow for an interview.”

“Tomorrow?” you asked.

There was a hint of surprise in your voice, as if you weren't expecting an interview to be scheduled so soon.

Stay in that mindset, he told himself. Play it off like it's normal.

“Is that a problem?” he asked.

“No no. That's completely fine,” you quickly answered, “Sorry, I just didn't expect to hear anything so fast.”

“Of course,” Shoot replied, “I'm sorry if I'm calling too late.”

“Oh no, not at all! I'm really glad to hear from you.”

With his eyes still on your window, he saw when you finally walked back into view, the phone up to your ear while you looked ready to head out. He had called just in time, then.

“What time would you like me to come in?” you asked.

“Does eight in the morning work for you?”

“Yes, that should be-”

You stopped speaking when your eyes happened to look out the window. For a brief moment, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at the apartment across from you.

The one where Shoot was currently standing at the window.

Only for a brief moment, however, for as soon as he saw your eyes catching sight of his form, he moved to the side and out of view.

His palms were starting to sweat, but he kept himself calm.

“Is everything alright?” he asked you.

His question brought your attention back to the call, and you stammered out “y-yeah. Sorry. It's fine. Eight is just fine.”

“Good. And you know where the main building is?” he asked.

“I believe it's off of Continental Street?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes, I know where to go,” you replied. In the background, Shoot could hear you doing something, though he wasn't certain what exactly that was just from the noise alone.

“We'll see you tomorrow, then,” Shoot told you.

“Yeah- yes! I'll see you tomorrow at eight,” you said, trying to keep your words professional as you added “thank you for calling me.”

“Of course.”

The phone call ended shortly after, leaving Shoot to stare at his phone screen.

Your voice sounded warm during those last moments of the call, and Shoot imagined you smiling when you spoke to him, like he'd made you happy. Though part of him was fully aware that you were happy for the opportunity he told you of and that you felt nothing for him. Certainly not from a phone call that didn't even last five minutes.

Still, he chose to imagine that it had brought you a little bit of happiness. Largely because he knew it would take some time for you to feel happy again after tomorrow. It would be a long period of distress and anger on your part once you realized what he did, and it would likely stress you out even more than your current situation was doing to you.

But it would work out for the best, he told himself.

Shoot then peeked out his window to look at you again, but he was disappointed when he found that the blinds to your window had been closed.

So that was what he'd heard you doing at the end of the call.

Still, it could've been worse; you could've been heading out to be with your boyfriend right now. And as Shoot watched your front door for several minutes and saw that it stayed closed, he felt some relief. The need to get up early in the morning kept you from going to spend a late night out at your boyfriend's place.

At least he had put a stop to that.

The next few hours passed by without any incident. You stayed inside, though because of the blinds that now covered the windows, he only had an idea of what you were doing based on what he had seen of your previous habits. Eventually the lights in your apartment turned dark, signaling that you'd gone to bed so you could get up early to be ready in time for your interview. Once that happened, Shoot sat down, leaning against the wall as he went over everything in his head.

There was no backing out of this now.

No matter what happened tomorrow morning, he couldn't back down again. Even if things went wrong. That internal voice of his would need to keep its mouth shut.

And finally, the limbo would come to an end.

In the early hours of the morning, when the light of the sun was only barely brightening up the sky, Shoot was waiting for you.

Standing at the end of the walkway, his eyes were fixed on your front door as he waited for the moment where you left.

You hadn't left yet, though he assumed that you would soon in order to make it to your eight o'clock interview. With the distance and how bad traffic could get, you would want to make sure that you had plenty of time to get to the Motoba building.

He would strike when you stepped out, when your back was turned and you were focused on locking up the door behind you. And even if Shoot wasn't the strongest Hunter around, subduing you wouldn't be an issue for him. Compared to some of the jobs he had taken, it would be incredibly easy.

As long as he didn't psych himself out in the middle of it.

No, that wouldn't happen. Like he had told himself last night: when push came to shove, he could do it. And as long as he moved fast and quiet, everything would go as he hoped.

A click from the door sounded as the lock was undone.

Anticipation caused his heart to beat harder when he heard that.

The door opened, and there you were. Wearing a set of nice clothes that you typically used for instances like job interviews when you wanted to make a good first impression. As expected, you were distracted when you stepped out, your attention on the door as you began to close it.

He moved.

Reaching you in moments, he clamped his hand over your mouth. He then pushed against you, forcing the door to crash open while you were forced back into your unit. And once the both of you were inside, he used his foot to shut the door behind him.

Now there would be no witnesses.

Initially, you didn't fight back. Perhaps it was shock combined with how fast it had all happened that left you pliant as he forced his way in after you. But at the sound of the slamming door you began to struggle and pull at his arm, a muffled screaming coming from beneath his palm as you tried to make as much noise as possible. And when that didn't work, you began to try your hardest to bite and scratch at him.

Shoot's left sleeve slipped off, falling to the floor.

You didn't notice the hands at first, too focused on gouging your nails into your attacker's arm to get him off of you. But you became aware when two of them grabbed ahold of your wrists and forced them away from his arm. For a brief moment, your cries stopped and you looked on in shock as you saw that you were being further restrained by a pair of floating hands.

Then you started to hyperventilate, taking in harsh breaths as you tried to comprehend the situation. Without a knowledge of nen, you couldn't understand it.

Shoot had been watching your expressions during this whole time, and when you looked up at him as the tears started to form in your eyes, he felt his resolve falter slightly.

He could stop this.

He could end this before it went any further and leave you alone. Leave the area completely and never come back, and if by some strange chance he was identified as being the one who attacked you, his Hunter status would still protect him. This could end here and there wouldn't be any affect on his life as it was right now.

For you, the situation was one that was terrifying and the aftermath would leave you shaken and confused, but if it stopped here it would leave you relatively unharmed. All you would need to deal with would be police reports and therapy sessions, and you would no doubt have some trauma that would cause you to be more aware of your surroundings, but that would be it.

Shoot could leave, and then all he would be to you was just a terrifyingly bad memory.

A bad memory....

…. And then what, you would go to your boyfriend for comfort every time that memory surfaced? Forever viewing Shoot as the monster while you stayed with a man who wasn't right for you?

Shoot's jaw clenched as he steeled himself. This needed to happen.

“I'm sorry,” he told you, “but this will be for the best.”

You were trying to shake your head 'no', trying to convince him without the use of your words that what he was doing was wrong. You were so focused on trying to appeal to him that you didn't notice the third floating hand that hovered in front of you and clenched itself into a fist.

You weren't aware of it until it slammed into your stomach.

Your eyes widened further for a moment before they fell shut, and you became limp in his grasp. Now you were unconscious, something he was grateful for as Shoot had no desire for you to be awake as he began the process of placing you within Hotel Rafflesia. There was now a hole of black mist in the area where he had hit you, and when the hands on your wrists squeezed hard to cause just enough pain to meet his requirements, those areas of your body also disappeared, replaced by the black mist while they were sent to the birdcage that stood next to him.

No, you didn't need to see any of that.

Minutes later and now Shoot was the only figure standing in the apartment, his heart still beating wildly, this time from the knowledge that he'd actually done it. He had you. Not that he was in any position to be celebrating; he could still be discovered if he hung around here too long. Best to leave sooner rather than later.

But as he picked up his sleeve that had fallen earlier, his attention went back to the small cage before him. Hotel Rafflesia now housed all of you, and you were now sprawled out on the floor of the cage. You would likely be out for some time. That was what Shoot hoped for, at least. You hadn't understood his conjured hands from earlier, and you definitely wouldn't understand if you woke up while still being trapped in his ability. It would be for the best if you slept through all of that.

You'd be sore all over when you woke up, but all the injuries you'd gotten from him would be easily healed.

Less easy would be the state you would be in mentally, but he chose not to think about that for now. That would be a bridge Shoot would cross when he came to it.

As for now, he needed to leave.

With the cage and his conjured hands hidden within the long cloth of his sleeve, he quietly shut the apartment door behind him before heading back towards the stairs. He couldn't hear anything odd coming from any of the units he passed by as he descended, no signs that anyone noticed something amiss. A majority of them were either asleep or too focused on their morning routines to notice the slight disturbance from moments ago.

Good. That was what he'd hoped for.

When he exited the property line of the apartment complex was when Shoot allowed himself to let out a sigh of relief. He had gotten you out without incident, though he was well aware that it was still too early to celebrate. You were now out of the apartment, and now he needed to get you out of the city, preferably before you woke up.

That part would be easier, all things considered, as it would take a bit of time before anyone was aware that you were missing. He knew for certain that you weren't expected anywhere until the early afternoon, and even if you had made plans to meet up with anyone for immediately after your 'interview', he still had plenty of time to leave before any alarm could be raised on that front. It would all work in his favor.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, he remembered the way you looked at him before he knocked you out. The terrified look in your eyes as you started to cry, convinced that he was going to do something horrible to you.

…. In fairness, you weren't wrong – he had hurt you. But he did it because he needed to. Not just as a way to keep you from the other man, but because things couldn't continue as they were any longer. He couldn't keep watching you and doing nothing as you went on with your life, but he couldn't imagine leaving you behind.

It would take some time before you could trust him, no doubt. But again, he told himself to only worry about that when the time came.

And again he told himself that when it really mattered, Shoot could go through with anything.

Getting you to love him back would be no different.

#reader insert #yandere x reader #yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #shoot mcmahon #yandere shoot #yandere #hxh shoot #yandere shoot mcmahon #shoot x reader

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ladywinterwitch · 2 years

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Game Of Thrones (Headcanon) - Crushing/Jealousy

Y'all I really hope this doesn't suck because the tumblr page literally refreshed as I was almost done writing so it saved NOTHING and I had to re-write every single word so. Ngl I might've shed a tear but we're not gonna talk about that :). I mixed the 'Them having a crush in you' and the 'Jealousy trope' for this one. Also. I don't know how many of these Headcanons I'll write but regardless even if I do switch up the characters or format for the posts every now and then, don't panic lmfao If I stopped I would tell you. Apologizing for any eventual errors! They'll be fixed.

Warnings: mentions of sex but nothing explicitly nsfw (okay maybe be aware for Oberyn idk), cursing, nothing much really

*I will try to keep the gender descriptions vague, just like the time periods and avoid subplots unlike the other two parts simply because I wouldn't want to make it seem like mini series or something that you kinda have to 'catch up on', I hope that makes sense.

Main masterlist and other headcanons

Lmk what you think if you feel like it :'D

ROBB STARK

Robb is painfully smitten with you from the beginning. This in the very first times made him almost quite shy, but once he gained some confidence and some desire made its way along with the platonic feelings, well. He could be very sweet one second, and make you blush on purpose the moment after. With the whole Winterfell heir/oldest Stark kid thing he never lacked much in the confidence department and it was clear in more ways than one. He is the literal defintion of prince charming. Probably the embodiement of those brave and handsome heroes his sister Sansa liked to read so much about.

Depending on the time of his life in which he met you, he would be more or less careful of showing his feelings. If he were still in Winterfell, with his family and friends around, he would allow himself to be a little more carefree, especially if his father was still the lord of the castle. Catelyn would be a mixture of anxiety and excitement, Robb being her first born and having his first actual experience with love. Ned on the other hand would be just heart warmed by seeing his son being such a good and caring young man, like he raised him to be. Arya would probably either be quite uninterested or befriend you, depending on how much she could relate to you. The same thing is worth for Sansa, even though she would still be quite interested in how things played out between you two. Theon would be annoyingly teasing him about his crush, meanwhile Jon would be more of a listener and give his support to his half brother (cousin).

Depending on how things would've gone with the whole Robert thing, you would've been probably left alone without too much talk of a strategic wedding.

If, on the other hand, we were talking about a slighlty older and king in the North Robb, the situation would probably be more difficult. Regardless, you wouldn't have been the right choice for him to marry, not necessarily for your rank, but because your family wouldn't be strategically strong enough to have important advantages in the war of the five kings. Which is what he needed, but not wanted. Catelyn knew it, he knew it and you knew it.

This Robb would've flirted in the same way more or less, just probably more on the intense and desire filled side than the 'sweet boy' one. And definetly more subtle, for war reasons but mainly because he wanted to keep you safe. Speaking of keeping you safe, he wasn't an overly jealous man by nature, especially if he knew that he was in no position to give you something better than endless pining. But if a man, or another person, were to offend you, or make you feel unsafe, he would definetly pay a little visit in a more appropriate time to the fool in question with his werewolf. He knew better than to not take precautions with the people that he cared about. And after a little scare, he would go to see you and make sure you were alright.

JON SNOW

If Jon has one issue, is how stupidly stubborn he is. Especially when he's younger. This man would rather pin over you for the rest of his life than be honest about his feelings. And you kinda hate him for it sometimes. Regardless of him being in Winterfell as the lord's bastard or a memeber of the Night's Watch, his brooding never changes. Obviously the bigger issue in the second case would be that he literally swore to not take wife or father no children, which made the whole 'being hopelessly in love with you' thing a tad more difficult. In any scenario, he would have that one person close to him to whom he just couldn't lie to. Wheter it was Robb or Sam, he knew that every time you came up in the conversation he could either blush and get out of the topic, or just blurt out his feelings.

Younger Jon would definetly be more awkward and less obvious than Robb, especially because he was nowhere near having the same confidence. He would still be very caring and sweet, just in a more subtle way. If Robb was the kind of guy that would ask you to dance with him or bring you flowers openly, Jon would offer you his fur coat if you were cold or help you get up and down a horse.

He also really enjoys people who kind of understand him as he is and don't try to pressure him that much into acting in a way that it's not himself, and this is honestly one of the things that makes him go crazy for you. He loves how interesting and funny and genuinely caring about him you are. He thinks about you all the time. But gods forbid if he was caught actually having feelings that weren't angsty. He didn't like people that much, but he liked you. Very much so.

You could see through him though, so while you didn't want to pressure him to say more than he wanted, you could get irritated about how stubborn he was sometimes. It happened more than once that other people flirted with you or apparently so, and Jon was never thrilled about that, at all. If you looked around hard enough you could probably spot him in a corner of the room, watching you from afar, brooding as usual. That made you quite sad at times, because you didn't fully understand why he just wouldn't let himself go completely with you. You sometimes played a bit into it, just a tiny bit, to get him riled up. But in the end, you were always going back to him, making sure that you would actually never betray him. He knew that, deep down.

But again, he didn't trust people much, and could get quite protective if he sensed that something wasn't quite right with someone. Before doing anything though, he would often keep an eye on them, and after that if his worries actually were proven somehow to be true, it wouldn't take him much to use a few tricks up his sleeve to scare people off.

Older Jon would be more straightforward, both in personal relationships and with the whole confronting thing. Young Jon liked the shadows, older Jon wasn't afraid to put himself on the spot if he had to.

OBERYN MARTELL

Oberyn having actual romantic feelings was news to him. Many times, especially when he was younger he had questioned himself, 'Am I just horny, or do I care?' and no, the answer is no. He thinks that he got really close at times, but mostly he ended up having great fuck-buddies and occasional dinner companions. Most times he wasn't even interested in actual non-married people, so it's not that it could've gone that far anyway unless he was ready to start an affair. But he didn't care enough for it, way too many problems.

With you though, it was new. You weren't much younger and definetly not completely inexperienced, so it's not long after that you met that you actually had sex. You seemed fine with just having this type of 'fun' relationship, so it was really just him finding himself wanting to spend time with you in other ways. Your relationships had blurred lines for a while to be honest. He was the rich spoiled prince with whom you had occasional sex with, and you were one of the lucky people to get into the prince of Dorne's graces.

Knowing his reputation and generally his personality, it took you a while to actually start to believe that he could be in love with you. Riding horses, dining and drinking together, having sex, spending time together and even painting for fun, to you only seemed the behaviour of a rich prince that had a new 'favorite' of the season. Things started to get a different tone when you noticed how possessive he could be. Not in a properly toxic way, but he did like to get you absolutely flustered in the most inappropriate places, to not so secretly show you off while dressing you with the most beautiful and expensive garments in the realm, putting you at his side at important events and even saying that he wanted you to be just his. Not that you were in the position nor desire to actually sleep around, but that statement definetly put a more defined label on your relationship.

Oberyn usually wouldn't get jealous, but he would be even more confident and showy when he wanted to warn someone off. And then usually get you in a dark spot of the palace and fuck you while he told you you were his. And if someone had some snarky things to say about you, he made sure they didn't do it ever again.

JAIME LANNISTER

Confused, insecure, protective, closed off, romantic, intense, quite jealous, vulnerable

Jaime is complicated. He just is. There's also very little chance that he could've managed to look at someone other than Cersei in his younger years, because their separation was very brief, and the immediate failure of her and Robert's marriage gave them the perfect opportunity to keep going with their toxic relationship. As soon as he gets away from her, and loses his hand in the process, he also starts to struggle with his own thoughts about who he is and who he wants to be.

When he meets you, he didn't even thought about your meeting twice. He observed you, as he always does with people, but thought nothing more of you except your beauty probably. The first time you actually talked though, he did think about it a little harder. It was news to him that someone would actually address him in a normal and respectful way, without being fake that is. He had roughed up during the years, especially since people had started to call him Kingslayer, traitor, backstabber. Any kind of degrading name. No one actually even bothered to make their own opinions or listen to his side. Robert and Ned and the whole lot of other people of the court chose a biased version and went with it.

You didn't. Wiredly enough it left him feeling quite wired, and definetly interested in you. If anything, he was curious to see if you were going to ever speak to him again, and you did. You made sure to acknowledge him every time that you saw him, even at the cost of getting the stink eye from whoever was accompanying you. Jaime started to get more interested, and wanting to know you better. Either of you had any malice in this whole thing. You were both genuinely curious to listen to what the other had to say. And slowly, Jaime started to get more and more distanced from his sister. It's like he was blind, or willingly chose not to see, what she really was. The difference was obvious when he interacted with you.

You did create a genuinely nice connections, and you didn't miss to stop and talk or even walk together when you had the chance. The real turning point for him was when he started to actually think about you. He felt confused and quite scared, to be honest. He was afraid of many things; of the fact that he could actually feel something that wasn't so wrong like what he felt for Cersei, of how worthy someone like him could be of you. These thoughts remained quite abstract, even in his own mind, until he actually felt like he was punched in the gut when you started to get courted by another person.

Now, that, was quite the wake up call. Before you actually became a thing, his general reaction to his own jealousy was sadness and self loathing. So when you got together, knowing that he could actually allow himself to be close to you, his love language definetly became touch. He just loved to touch you, whether it was in an innocnt way or not. It's like he needed it. He would also be quite affectionate and funny, definetly the cockly Lannister in him. Fortunately enough there weren't many times in which he became jealous, but when he did, he usually just fucked it right out of you both, to put it lightly. On the other way, if any type of harm should come your way, now in that case his Tywin genes would definetly come through.

TYRION LANNISTER

Insecure, not overly jealous but anxious about your well being, trusting, sweet, funny, has your back

Tyrion has trauma. He really fucking does. Love? Trust? not his forte, either of them. So was he scared when he realized that he could be falling for you? Shitless. Just the mere fact that he met you in King's Landing made him think the craziest possible scenarios of how either his father or sister could've just come to you and say 'Trick that stupid little monster again, he deserves it'. He lowkey knew that it would've been insane, and he was being paranoid but at the same time you never know with those people.

You definetly made fun of people at court together. You also liked to actually argue about some topics, too. You weren't particularly fond of sewing when you were little, so your father made sure that you were at least well spoken, and honestly you didn't mind reading at all. On that you two would relate a lot.

You actually spent so much time together, and he loved how similiar you were. Mentally, that is. He would never even imagine to compare himself with something that he considered as beautiful as you. And even after making sure that you gained his trust, that remained a big issue for him. When he did actually get a grip and you got exclusive, or at least with each other, your relationship didn't change that much, except the sex and the teasing obviously. Tyrion's version of jealousy was more similiar to Jaime's. He wasn't actually jealous, per se, but he doubted himself and what he could give you more than anything.

You never, ever, gave him reason to, though. In that sense, you probably took more care of him than he did, and he really really appreciated you for that. He would've gladly ran away with you, but you both knew better than be reckless in a place full of backstabbers like King's Landing. You kind of had each other's back, and this understanding between you two allowed you to actually live your relationship peacefully.

Now, if Tyrion did feel that someone on his reach could actually try to do any harm to your or your relationship, Bronn would've taken care of it pretty quickly for him.

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genericpuff · 4 months

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Absolutely love the rendition to the panel of Hades holding Persephone. Lovely to see it rendered as a more mutual act with Perse holding onto Hades instead of just letting Hades hold her, and ofc seeing Persephone actually look like an adult woman. (Not to even mention the colors and rendering because whoaa those were lovely)

And I have a question about this new rendition if I’m allowed to make it! The original had very dramatic and sharp composition with the angles and being off centered which conveyed much of the emotions and style that made early LO very striking. In adapting it, was it a conscious choice to change the composition or what were the deciding factors that made you and banshriek decide centering Perse and Hades worked better in this situation? :0

Ahhh thank you ;w; It took a few rounds of sketching to get the pose just right, the flats thankfully weren't as difficult as I was worried they'd be, but the challenge was definitely in trying to get the pose right while maintaining the height difference that's there.

As for your question, a lot of the posing and sketch composition is something I do, and then Banshriek typically goes wild with the backgrounds while making adjustments to those compositions if necessary, often times I leave the backgrounds up to their discretion as they're 10x more skilled at that sort of thing than I am and they often bring new perspectives to the table. This means that it often ends up being a game of give and take between what we contribute, sometimes I'll have sketches that they feel need to be adjusted, other times I'll have to add little tweaks to their backgrounds if it's missing something. We're both working off a base rough sketch, but we both get to contribute to the final scene in our own ways; splitting it between background and character flats has been a happy middle that's worked well for us :)

Depending on the scene, sketches can range from minimal to more detailed. Here's the original base sketch for that scene:

So originally there was a larger tree working over the side but I didn't really know how detailed we wanted to be in the actual full background, much of it depended on how complex Banshriek wanted to get. You can also tell that Persephone's face was originally buried into Hades' chest in the original panel, which I originally flatted in, but then wound up changing because I wanted her eyes to be visible to reflect both of their expressions of relief at the same time.

That said, with the pose changing from what it was in the original (from Persephone almost laying on Hades vs. him holding her and lifting her up) the composition had to change with it so I decided to just make them a bit more centered, that way the focus would be fully on them and the balance of the scene wouldn't feel "off" due to the pose change. I tend to follow the Rule of 3 here !

So yeah! That's pretty much why centering it felt a little better in this case. Though part me of does wish I was able to keep the original pose, when breaking that scene down into its bones I found it had to take a lot of liberties with its anatomy and proportions, as many LO scenes do. You can't really tell just on a surface level but Persephone's head is huge and the rest of her body is tiny (her hips literally come up to Hades' sternum and her feet meet at his knees). With the character design changes made in Rekindled to make Persephone a little less tiny and more consistent in her body type (while still maintaining the size difference between them) and to reflect their character arcs at this point (as I'm not rushing them into intimacy quite like the original comic did) certain things have to change to balance it out and accommodate. If you're a math person, think of it like solving algebra equations - what you do to one side of the equation needs to be reflected and adjusted on the other side.

And of course Banshriek did a lot more to really exemplify the mood shift in the almost labrynth-like forest Persephone grew within Tower 4. There are still trees and plant life everywhere, but instead of feeling like an endless maze with its tones of deep red that we saw Hades navigate, it now feels like a soft and gentle meeting point for the two. Like the original scene, the color change is used to change the mood of the scene and reflect the calmness of Hades and Persephone as they've found one another.

At the end of the day we did what we ultimately thought would work best for the way Rekindled is drawn, giving both Banshriek and I the freedom to fully utilize our respective skillsets. That way we were able to pay tribute to that original scene while also creating something new out of it <3

That said, I'm sure @banshriek can also chime in with their own design notes on this episode, if they have a minute to spare! I'm sure they'll have lots to say about the fun they had working with those new brushesヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

#ask me anything #anon ama #ama #anon ask me anything #lore rekindled #lore rekindled ama

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kymiya · 4 months

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geordi n cutie (moreso geordi) cuddling headcanons

(because i'm sick of only having angst on my feed)

so lets start off with the basics

geordi is the BIGGEST cuddler like

ever

when hes next to cutie on the couch or the bed

IMMEDIATELY wrapped up beside them

and its the cutest thing on earth

like hes got blankets pulled up and asking cutie if they want snacks

do they need water

literally whatever

hes the whole package

he is going to make sure they are both comfortable when they cuddle

checking in w/ them constantly

making sure they’re not too hot or cold

giving them kisses

SO many kisses

forehead

the cheek

neck

anywhere he can reach he’ll kiss

UGHH hes so sweet i hate him/j

those weren’t really basic (they were) but anyway

was kinda arguing with myself bc i couldn’t really figure out if geordi would be a big spoon or little spoon

and honestly

he dgaf 💀

he couldn’t care less

literally as long as they are within close proximity

there won’t be a single complaint

if cutie wants to be big spoon: 🫶

if cutie wants to be little spoon: 🫶

he absolutely adores being wrapped up with them

especially in winter

AND ITS SNOWING??

holy shit he just blew up

like he just exploded

cutie being an empowered mf and being able to produce fire (and

whatever else)

their body can and will be used as a heater

all i can think about is them laying down on the couch

hot cocoa (or your preferred drink in the winter) on the coffee table,

still steaming

a heavy ass blanket on top of both of them

cutie laying on their back with their arms thrown around geordi’s neck, occasionally kissing the top of his head

or one hand in his hair (also big hc of mine: geordi has curly hair), playing with it and softly pulling out small knots

as geordi is literally in heaven with his personal oven, body on top of cutie’s with his arms circled around cutie’s back

his head on on their chest, listening to their heartbeat as they watch home alone for the 46th time

EWW theyre so gross i wanna eat them

moving on from that

i also feel like geordi is super playful

he bites

affectionately

he cannot contain his love

his absolute infatuation

to just bite them

AND ITS SO RANDOM

like its not like he’d be kissing cutie n then it would turn into bites

its just out of nowhere 😭

nd if cutie isn’t reading his mind

omg i forgot about cutie actually being able to read minds bye

ill get onto that later

BUT

when cutie isn’t in geordi’s mind

they literally jump

its not like he was trying to bite a chunk out of them

but still 💀

also if cutie decides to get up during any of their cuddling sessions

he will drag them back

he’ll have a war in his mind about being clingy or too much

but he’ll still drag them back

especially when they just got comfortable??

like where tf are u going?? 🤨

i love my silly little overthinker

and back to when cutie’s in his mind

its mental warfare

specifically early into the relationship

imagine the first time they’re cuddling

jesus

he’s actually panicking so bad

like they barely get situated

and he’s just

“oh my god”

“what am i doing?”

“why am i doing?”

“where do i put my hands?”

“is this an awkward angle?”

“i can’t”

“why is this so difficult??”

“they’re so warm”

“and they smell good”

“ew now you sound like creep”

“but they’re my partner?”

“don’t care, still weird”

“i’ve done this before, why can’t i just”

“..just what?”

“just, i just want to just”

something like that

but his thoughts probably go silent when cutie cover both of them in a warm blanket n snuggle up close to him

his mind literally goes blank

hes so smitten its crazy

but later down the road he’s gotten more accustomed to cuddling and doesn’t question his life after a single hug

he gives cutie small praises in his mind

especially after they’ve had a long ass day at work

he’s willing to help them relax

drinks, something to eat, words of affirmation, kisses, massage, bath

anything for cutie to be at ease

all in all hes perfect and i want him

if somebody out there is exactly like geordi hmu 🤭

i think thats it, that was such a brain dump

i need myself a geordi within the next 2 minutes or else im gonna implode/srs

i have so much in my brain its insane

probably gonna post more since im on break 🤷🏾‍♀️

#redacted geordi #redacted cutie #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #im so obsessed with them #help

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respectthepetty · 10 months

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Well well well well!

I have seen you being asked about your fav TW BL dramas. but I’m here to ask about…… your top 10 (or however many you want tbh) BL thai dramas!

Teeheeheeee!!

Ps: can someone else pop up and then ask you too Korean BL dramas? *wink*

Anon, I think YOU will have to come back and ask about my top Korean dramas because after people see this list, they will realize how trashy I truly am and never seek a response from me again. I've already written about my Top GMMTV Actors, my Top GMMTV Pairs, and my Top Five Taiwanese BLs, but this requested list will really show people that I am a dumpster fire, so let me present my

Top Ten Thai BLs

Before I start, I need to list my personal preferences since I have watched over 150 Thai BLs (if not 200), with a third coming from within the past year and a half alone. A show must meet at least two:

Don't bury the gay (MANDATORY!)

Be gay. Do crime! aka "Eff the police" (literally or figuratively)

I'm a messy bi, and I'll cry if I want to

Adulting is hard like my sexual attraction for you

Vice Vers(a) - Flipping the norms and changing dynamics

Next, I need to establish some ground rules:

The series must have completed prior to June 1, so Step by Step, Be My Favorite, La Pluie and other running shows cannot be considered.

It had to be marketed as a BL, so 3 Will Be Free, The Warp Effect, and Great Men Academy cannot be considered.

I could only pick a pair once, so most of GMMTV shows couldn't be considered if I picked another show the pair was featured in.

It couldn't have hurt my queer feelings, so My Only 12%, Until We Meet Again, I Told Sunset about You, and 180 Degree Longitude Passes through Us were cut for rubbing salt in real-world wounds.

A third of the final list had to be BL shows that aired prior to 2022.

Narrowing it down with those two filters, here are a dozen shows that didn't make the cut with a brief reasoning:

The Eclipse - pair already picked

Triage - the gay died each time the clock reset

Ghost Host, Ghost House - not within my personal preferences

Never Let Me Go - aired in 2022. Sorry Jojo!

My School President - pair already picked

Secret Crush on You - aired in 2022

Bad Buddy - it knows what it did to me

Together with Me - pair already picked

Lovely Writer - not within my personal preferences

A Tale of Thousand Stars - pair already picked

Between Us - it knows what it did to me

My Ride - not within my personal preferences

One more thing before I give you the list -

Honorable Mentions

To Sir, With Love

I was raised on soap operas and telenovelas, so this lakorn was seventeen episodes of blissful drama, yet served one of the best pairings and family members of 2022. It was also a historical drama, so the ending being happy was unexpected, but much appreciated.

Destiny Seeker

All the shows on my list have color coding, but this show wins every color-coding award I can give. As a self-proclaimed color demon, this show fed my soul and my heart with its color exchange between two great characters who were just trying to unify the Pretty Boys and the Jocks in a tale as old as time, yet more colorful than ever.

Now, the actual list

Top Ten Thai BLs

#10 - Dark Blue Kiss

Pete and Kao went from a bit toxic in This Kiss series, to a solid couple trying to navigate the difficult situation of having one person in a relationship still in the closet. The reason was realistic as well - career. Kao coming out could have not only hurt his future, but his mother's job as well, and the socioeconomic difference between Pete and Kao was front and center during these discussions. Mix all of that with the addition of Sun and Mork and their dynamic of light enemies to lovers, and this ended up being a surprise favorite. It also had beautiful cinematography at a period when the production value of BLs was being elevated which is greatly due to director/screenwriter Aof and cinematographer Rath.

#9 - Big Dragon

If someone would have told me during the first episode that I would like love this show as much as I did by the end, I would not have believed it, but here I am, in love with this show. It started off with two idiots being at their peak toxic level, yet ended with the softest men in love. The cinematography was beautiful, Mangkorn and Yai had a natural chemistry when teasing each other, and the music was good, so good that I actually listened to the lead sing his love confession…twice! Mos and ISBANKY made me excited to see what else Star Hunter has in store, and that was a door I had closed long ago. Big Dragon 2 when?

#8 - Bed Friend

Much like Big Dragon, I showed up for a raunchy series about fuck buddies, but ended up witnessing two men work through trauma and showed that with support, healing is possible. King was the biggest green flag that has ever graced my screen, and the way Net's big brown eyes portray lust, love, and devotion is a skill that only matches James' embodiment of a sex kitten. I watched them in Catch Me Baby, but Bed Friend brought an entire new level of chemistry from them that balanced the heavier aspects of the show in a way that any other pair would have squandered. Because of NetJames, this show will remain in my tops for years to come, and makes me even more excited for Love Upon a Time.

#7 - You're My Sky

We, collectively, did this show dirty. As BL fans, we did not appreciate it enough, and still don't. Because it came out in 2022, a year stacked with excellent BLs, it was pushed to the sidelines when it should have been at everyone's top for any number of reasons like the pairings were solid (childhood friends, senior/freshman, pseudo-enemies to lovers), the plot was consistent, and the cinematography was beautiful. We have a few sports-related BLs which do a great job of discussing the connection between toxic masculinity and male-dominated sports, and although this series didn't lean all the way in, it gave us a glimpse of what men must sacrifice in order to be considered the best in such an environment, especially when it comes to love.

#6 - Not Me

Every character is shippable with every other character. That is the power of this series. Yet, because I’m petty, I’m still holding a grudge not about GramBlack (Eugene/Gene, really?!) BUT that ToddBlack did not happen! In a show that was queer in several aspects (marriage equality, society’s disapproval, found family, etc.), it was strange that it didn’t deliver on the Black front examining how power dynamics, socioeconomic inequality in regards to privilege, and performance of masculinity affect queer experiences (all possessed by the ToddBlack pairing), but what it did deliver was a great premise about fighting back against oppression (labor discrimination, educational gaps, monopolies), which is why even though the ending was shaky, it still deserves a top spot for existing.

#5 - KinnPorsche

As much as I wrote about this show, I’m shocked it isn’t #1, but sitting through the final episode’s credits believing what I believed about Vegas left me feeling a certain type of way that I’m still not over. It had all the elements I love: Be gay, do crime, messy tears, vice vers(a), and the cinematography was perfection. Symbolism and foreshadowing were intertwined into every scene, so watching each episode was an experience and the aftermath was devouring hours of meta analysis. This was the first series I was excited to watch live unmuted and at normal speed, and I liked each pairing, plus rooted for others who were never going to happen (Big & Chan, Khun & everyone), which made this a fun journey even after the final credits finished (World Tour, anyone?!).

#4 - Love Mechanics

I LOVE MESS, and this show gave me ten glorious messy episodes of the messiest mess. Much like the chokeholds VeeMark excelled out, this show had me by the throat (implication intended). I was shocked when it was announced En of Love: Love Mechanics would be remade and extended from four episodes into ten. I liked the original, but the basic plot (drunkenly having sex right at the beginning – how very Together with Me of them) did not sit well with me the first time around, yet once I saw the remake’s trailer, I WAS SOLD! Look at the angst! Look at the pining! Look at the chemistry! Look at the same steps and dorm from Together with Me! I could write forever about this show because it is better than the original, it was so similar to Together with Me that I had to squint to make sure it wasn’t, and the happy ending with Mark’s tears, although never doubted, feels like a personal win, which is why it was my number one of 2022.

#3 - Manner of Death

MaxTul own me. Every couple I watch gets compared to MaxTul and the chemistry they bring. Together With Me is a favorite, but when Manner of Death aired, it spotlighted the evolution of MaxTul in the most beautiful way imaginable. The dark plot of drug and sex trafficking was difficult for most, but both of these characters' commitment to finding the truth in their own way while taking on the ACAB attitude even towards the one police officer they did like was a buffet that just kept serving me. I was truly worried because of the nature of the show that a happy ending wouldn't be possible, but not only did the show end with vows being exchanged, but the promise of another season as well. TRANSPLANT WHEN?!

#2 - Moonlight Chicken

This was an adult show and toes the line of being truly queer media rather than a standard BL. I felt seen every time Jim sat silently examining his life and his choices. His hesitation to open his heart again to another person after being hurt in such a realistically queer way in a country that doesn't have marriage equality almost made me cut this show due to hurting my queer feelings. However, if I was willing to give up three pairs (FirstKhao -The Eclipse, GeminiFourth - My School President, and EarthMix - A Tale of Thousand Stars) for this one show, I knew it had to included. Aof working around the grief of losing a parent while examining gentrification and generational trauma all through a queer lens is a feat most would fail at, but this show shines, literally and figuratively thanks once again to cinematographer Rath.

#1 - He's Coming to Me

I must end where I began - Aof, the director and screenwriter, changed the Thai BL game with this one, and hasn't slowed down since, which is why two of his other pieces are in my top ten, and several others are featured in my short list. Cinematographer Rath has also made his mark on this list, and it all started with this one for me. No other BL series has stuck with me the way He's Coming to Me has. Not one element of this show doesn't work. It's cohesive. It's emotional. It's everything to me. I cannot give this show enough praise. It created a unique magic in eight episodes that hasn't left my heart for four years.

And probably never will.

Now, who wants to ask about Korea?

#top thai bls #he's coming to me #moonlight chicken #manner of death #love mechanics #kinnporsche #not me #you're my sky #bed friend #big dragon #dark blue kiss #to sir with love #destiny seeker #thai bls

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cyberrose2001 · 11 months

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Hi there! I found your blog not long ago and I wanted to say that I love your work! I saw your requests were open, so hopefully this is okay. (This is also my first request like this EVER, so I'm sorry if I'm super awkward or unclear lol;;;; )

TFP OP x human!fem!reader. The reader is shy but tries to help around the base, and make everyone smile. She develops feelings for Optimus and is interested in a relationship with him; but, due to said shyness and a fear of rejection, she keeps the feelings to herself and it's a huge pining situation. Maybe those feelings grow to wanting something more intimate over time.

I hope this makes sense! Thank you! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

TFP Optimus x human!fem!reader

Hi! I got your other ask as well and its all good! Thank you for requesting! I hope I've done your first request justice :)

Warnings: Suggestive (more towards the end, but mostly SFW)

Word count: 703

Since you've been taken in by the Autobots, you've made it your duty to repay their kindness in the upkeeping of their base. You're not the talkative type, often keeping to yourself and avoiding confrontation. And helping with maintenance allows you to avoid the others.

You would watch as the other humans would go on missions and help save the planet, but you were more than happy to stay behind to clean and organise equipment. Some would call you the human equivalent of Ratchet, except less grumpy and more reserved in nature. The cleaning gave you something to focus on, mainly when your thoughts drifted to a particular red and blue mech.

You couldn't help yourself. Optimuss's strong and bold personality resonates with everyone he meets. He displays it with such gentle kindness, and you fall for him. You're in love with him. You're so fucking in love with him that it hurts. It hurts because you know he could never love a human in the same regard you have for him. So, you transform that pain into something actually useful. Instead of daydreaming about him confessing to you, you grab a mop and a bucket of water and clean the base's dirty floor.

Dip. Squeeze out the water. Mop. Repeat.

Giving the concrete one last sweep, you stand back and admire your handy work. It took you nearly the whole afternoon, but the way the floor glistens and shines is worth it. Kneeling on the mint-condition floor, you run your hand across the smooth surface, gazing at your reflection. It is near damn perfect, almost as perfect as the sculpted face of Optimus staring back at you. You are about to run your hand across your star-crossed lover until your hand freezes. You're not hallucinating from the cleaning chemicals. That's his reflection.

You jump out of your skin and fall backwards. Your eyes shoot up to meet the glowing azure optics that belonged to Optimus Prime. He's crouched down over your comparatively petite frame, giving you a questionable look.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to startle you." Optimus lends you his servo. You're hesitant but accept the offer, and he quickly pulls you off the ground and onto your shaky legs. He notices and keeps a servo wrapped around your hand to keep you steady, "Are you alright?"

No, I'm holding your hand, you think to yourself.

"I'm fine, thank you." You feign a laugh as your face flushes. He is so close to you that you could genuinely touch his face for real if you wanted to. His grip on your hand is firm, and the size difference makes you swoon internally, "You gave me a fright, though."

"That was not my intention," He chuckles, and it's like music to your ears, "I could not help but admire your skills. This place has not been this pristine in years."

Don't freak out, but Optimus just gave you a compliment.

"Oh! Thank you." You say as you withdraw your hand, overcome with bashfulness. You swear you could see a glint of disappointment in his optics as you did so, "It's not much, honestly… I'm surprised you even noticed."

Optimus gives you a gentle smile and returns to his pedes, "It is difficult not to. You've done a fine job, Y/n."

He turns his back to you, and you can see the hesitance in his stance as he turns his helm to look over his shoulder at you.

"Perhaps you could… assist me in cleaning my quarters someday." He casually says as he saunters off to the base computer.

You're thankful that Optimus wasn't looking at you because the amount of blood rushing to your face, and surprisingly to another region of your body, is embarrassing. You were curious to know if he was flirting with you or if you took his words in a completely different context. Either way, you hastily pick up the bucket and mop and power walk to the nearest janitor's closet.

"Is she alright?" A curious Bulkhead asks as he witnesses the whole thing, "She looked kinda… red."

Optimus focuses on the screen before him, a slight smirk on his dermas, "I only startled her, I believe she will be ok."

#transformers #transformers prime #tfp #tfp optimus x reader #suggestive #sfw #mostly

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pillarsalt · 2 months

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hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)

I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.

I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)

but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,

And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.

And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!

But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.

I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.

I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:

"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."

Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.

I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.

Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.

#ask

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clownsalot · 7 months

Text

im very normal about fuuta in general but i dont think im ever going to emotionally recover from his fire motif and what it represents for his character and how he reflects the greater theme of justice so that means i must rant about it

(more under the cut because this got longer than i expected whoopsies)

so anyway fire is pretty obviously supposed to be symbolic of his passion for justice right? that fire is all over the place in bring it on. he's wielding it to take down enemies, his signature weapon is a flaming sword. it's what he uses to lead the campaign against the people he's after, the people he's deemed in the wrong.

it's a fucking flaming sword, it's badass as hell!!!! it's what a hero of justice, a knight, would use!!!! it's cool as shit, it's his symbol of justice.

that's how he sees his justice in trial 1.

he's righteous, he wants so badly to believe he was a hero, he was doing it all for a good cause, for justice. his passion for justice was a tool he used to meet those ends, to be a hero, to wave it valiantly in the face of enemies.

the fire, however, is conspicuously absent once he's noticed the blood on his hands

interestingly, despite backdraft as a song title being much more related to his fire motif than bring it on, fire is actually surprisingly absent from the mv's visuals. fire, as in actual orange burning fire, doesn't show up much at all in backdraft except for when both fuuta and his victim begin turning to ashes, and a short bit near the end right after the last chorus when the spraycan explodes in fuuta's face. you know what the mv does show a lot of though?

smoke. and ash. the byproducts of a fire, the byproducts of fuuta's passion for justice.

bringing it back to firefighting for a moment: as many people have already pointed out, backdraft as a firefighting term refers to when a fire that has consumed all available oxygen suddenly explodes when more oxygen is made available, such as when a window or door breaks. the thing about fire hazards, though, is if the fire and the heat don't do someone in, usually it's the smoke. the smoke inhalation causes breathing difficulties and suffocation, making it even more difficult for a person to escape the fire.

in backdraft, instead of fire itself, what we're shown is these byproducts of a fire. the smoke is damaging to human health, and the ash shows that the fire has burned things up and caused destruction, in this case killing someone. all we're shown is the negative results of a fire, in sharp contrast to its badass, positive portrayal in bring it on.

hell, even fuuta himself starts turning to ashes and the spraycan explodes in his face, showing how even he is experiencing the negative results of a fire that has gotten out of his control, how even he has gotten burned by his passion for justice. or, is it es' desire for justice?

translation of fuuta's t2 vd by onigiriico

Me, too! I was like that, too! I also didn't think it'd turn out that way!

You and I are exactly the same breed! The only difference between us is the clothes we're wearing.

fuuta's justice and es' justice, it's all the same in his head now, he directly tells es that they're the same, that we're the same. it's all the same hunger for justice that ends up causing harm even if that wasn't the intention.

you know that saying that fire is a good servant but a bad master? i think that's pretty applicable to fuuta's situation. his passion for the pursuit of justice was great when it was still a tool, a sword he could wield, after all he did manage to shed light on some people's wrongs and bring them to justice. but once it exploded, when it became a backdraft that even he could no longer control, it did more damage than he intended.

it burned even him, it killed a middle schooler. and he recognizes that in backdraft. he only shows us the ways fire that becomes a hazard can go wrong.

translation of fuuta's t2 vd by onigiriico

What did I do? All I did was say that what's wrong is wrong! I was just going off at a bad person online!

I didn't think they would die! I just thought that wrong things are wrong, and that a crime is a crime! You get that, don't you? See? Aren't we the same?

it's just. fire is such a good metaphor for the message of fuuta's character and his arc. it's an amazing illustration of how dangerous it is when you feed a desire for justice too much, when you forget to put a boundary on how you handle that fire. eventually the fire spreads just like how passion for justice becomes zealotry, until more and more things fall under what you consider to be 'punishable' by your standards and goes out of control to hurt people that probably didn't deserve it. it's a warning to set proper boundaries on our own definition and desire for justice and what's 'right' so the good intentions doesn't spiral into harm. it's a reflection of our attitudes towards milgram as the audience responsible for their justice and forgiveness. it's amazing i love it i love fuuta's fire symbolism i love fuuta's character arc and i love milgram's writing so so so much

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #im sure someone has already gone through every point in this post before but i was having fuuta thoughts and they needed to go somewhere #this might be super disorganized this is essentially the first draft and i kinda just word vomited lol #anyways i love milgram i love picking it apart for its themes #tangentially i might do another whole thing comparing fuuta to kotoko but hm not sure if i can add much to that discussion #maybe after deep cover comes out #i actually really like kotoko for similar reasons to fuuta actually she's an interesting case study of a desire for justice that corrupts #anyways sorry this wasnt that deep an analysis or anything i mean i didnt even pull up images it's a glorified rant more than anything lol #hm might edit this post to add images tomorrow ill see if i remember

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