#no i wont tag their codenames

[starrygender]

🌊Turbulent Waters🌊

🫥Debriefing our Whereabouts🫥

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

We are moving out in a few days because we cannot afford our living situation, and we will become homeless for the time being. We will move to a shelter that is a city away because they are the nearest shelter that supports us LGBT folk. V's mother will be going elsewhere, thankfully.

We have several bags and a pillow to carry on our person.

Our body is weak and it's a huge strain.

We have no money, but we will make it.

V has two uncles and an aunt to crash with. We will then be driven to the capital. That is where the shelter is.

It might be a while before we have internet again, but when we do, if anyone is willing to help, we can send you our "P@¥p@|" [censored to avoid censorship/deletion, as we aren't sure if Tumblr does that or not]. We will take money for commissions as well, if that helps. We can send examples of our art and how long something you'd want would usually take [give or take a few days].

Sorry to beg, but any donations or commissions are appreciated.

Also, please do not reblog using tags that might flag this post [if Tumblr does such a thing].

We might post a few genders or other identities before we leave. We will not leave forever, but assume we're in semi-haitus from now on. Requests will be open during this time, but, of course, you wont get a flag immediately. Please be patient.

🫡

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

Vent TW

If only this body was as strong as we wish it could be, as moving out is extremely difficult for us physically. Alas, our deficiencies and other issues are deemed our fault, so we do not get help, no matter how debilitating.

I am not used to being fat as a [now] former Diamond Dog, I've never been fat, but I am of the belief that, no matter how much of it is someones fault, that it should still be treated with care, similar to a disability. Clearly we are not disabled, but we do lack ability due to our size among other things, and that shouldn't be treated with hostility.

Similarly, our body is somewhat hydrophobic. Not in the medical sense, we just cant stand to drink water on its own. That plus a soda addiction, makes things very hard. We are dehydrated, and while that is our fault, we should not be ridiculed for it when we are pushing our body to its limit.

Maybe this isn't the right way to think about it, and that is a fault of my own. I just think inability, whether its disability or something as simple as weakness should be treated with similar care, and they shouldn't be harshly criticized no matter who is at fault. Even if it isn't permanent or requires work to undo I think tending to folks with lesser ability in some areas is a good thing. Forgive my wording if it's incorrect or off, I am getting old and I don't know all the words. Oh my god, how old am I technically? ...Dear god, I'm 90 by today's standards! I'm glad we don't tend to age anymore...

V's mother also will not use our collective pronouns, nor V's pronouns at the very least. He/him is not that hard to use. We all can use, or at least don't mind he/him. There is a 50/50 chance for V's mother to use Oliver [V is short for Oliver] or his deadname.

Veil... A good codename, if I were still in a life of war. That's his codename for emergencies now. I've decided it. For more serious use, I'll keep a secret one in mind, though I doubt it will be needed. Can't ever be too cautious.

🫡

#not genda #shiver talks #shiver diary #<< ahab #🫡 #update #life update

[lavenoon]

Good Morning, or Night as I think it is for you!

Happy to hear you enjoyed my very weird agents setup story dream thing.

The game of snake portion of that dream had killed me with laughter and was the main reason why I wanted to share the dream so it's nice to know you liked it too!

However, it looks like the dream did to you what it did to the 'agents' in it: misdirection.

The dream is about two people: an animatronic and human. Field Agent and person in the chair. (well i guess it still is an animatronic sona, there's just two new agents not one)

In the dream, the Agency had thought them being one and the same.

Remember when I mentioned wanting to add Neon Eclipse? Thats the animatronic.

To avoid confusion on saying Neon I'm taking my sister's nickname for him and now he is Agent Glowstick. (wont stop me from maybe doing a silly doodle later) Viper is still Viper.

I am still so very tired from having just woken up so I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!

*relooks at your tags real quick and sees* #very lighthearted but the anime joker in the yt vid took me out

pfft this tag took me out. brain didn't even process that was what the background image was so thank you for that.

also imagining when Viper and Glowstick work for the Agency all the other agents are like "so this is the slippery fuck we never found- wait wait why are there two of them oh dear god"

: )

- Viper

I AM THE AGENCY CONFIRMED IM STUPID AND FORGOT ABOUT YOUR ECLIPSE!! head in hands I am. SO scattered GFHDJ I have no excuse I am simply all the distractable brain and none of the attention

BUT HELL YEAH ACTUALLY Oh my god a tag team - Glowstick and Viper give me serious "Someone will die." "Of fun!" vibes from their codenames alone hfjdks (tho Viper seems to enjoy those games very much also <3 So perhaps "Someone will die >:3c")

Funny thought of Robin only hearing about the Viper incidents, and upon successful recruitment heard through the grapevine it was a team, actually, so they go "wow how come no one noticed they worked in a team, smh so careless" while Sun/ Moon just look at them like. really. you of all people. you of all people make fun of agents thinking a tag team is one person.

Robin feels their gaze, and just goes "Shut up" because they realize the hypocrisy just a second later.

Also also also blue Eclipse blue Eclipse!!! Hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah he sure gonna look like a glowstick then hehehe

It's 6PM now - time for dinner for me! I have a bigger reply to an ask scenario in the works that I'll finish after, so not quite night yet (because I'm a weenie responsible adult who goes to sleep before 11PM) <3

#answer let luce #agent viper asks #I am simply. hm :). at myself #so Glowstick for undercover work and Viper for infiltration - they got a good balance!! #chews on them like a chewtoy #oh no poison galore #BUT YEAH I WAS SUCCESSFULLY BAMBOOZLED #10/10 misdirection team I love that <3 #my agentsona stopped being in charge of the entire agency a while ago but this would make her happy she's just a small scale supervisor #fghdjsk

[yarasa2k]

THEY CAME FROM THE ULTRA BEYOND

i am patiently waiting for crown tundra

#pokemon #nihilego #buzzwole #pheromosa #xurkitree #celesteela #kartana #guzzlord #silvally #poipole #naganadel #stakataka #blacephalon #gen 7 #ultra beasts #ultra beast #no i wont tag their codenames #fanart #digital art #artists on tumblr

[fuckmessier16]

(I put the #possum tag here so i can have this tagged on my blog. No relation to the cute animal + TW depressed and suicidal vent)

I just cope to deal with my emotions, not to deal with the situation.

It's "funny", because Im depressed so I'm unable to study, make exercises or even buy some stuff for college (I already out everything I needed on cart, I already bought from that store and had the money), gosh, i needed 4/5 days to buy them.

But at the same time it's so easy to just go walk 40 minutes, buy some stuff for my parents and walk another 40 minutes, go to the supermaerket buy groceries or cook our lunch. It is so easy, it's ridiculous.

People at my age normally work and I.m almost 23 and never had a fucking job, goddamn

Even supermarket doesnt answer me.

And i get nervous with social contact and i feel like shit and i end up on the verge of KILLING MYSELF BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SHIT

Damn

I just cope dealing with my emotions, but i still feel bad

I dont need tl be "distracted" from myself with a job, because im on college and feel bad, i still feel bad plus i procrastinate a lot

Gosh, i still feel bad for where i am in life, at the same time what i want from life? Do i have dreams? Goals?

........

I need to hoose recovery and actively work on recovery

I Need to get better

I need to actively choose to be a better version of myself

I need to be better

I need a job, i need to work

Yesterday i was chatting with my friend, we were talking about soke stuff and he said "oh, this is your academic area, you should know that, because that's your college degree", he was talking. But he was talking about the graduation i quit last year. Like, i didnt told him i quit or that i started a new course last month.

I mean, who knows i quit? 2 friends. Who knows i started a new course? Those 2 friends. I didnt tell people, because i feel lile a failure for quitting college when i was almost finishing it

Last month, when i was with my friends, Possum said somethif about it too, that i dont use to talk about my area and i was like "yeah, i guess so", i didnt said "yeah, i used to talk about it more, but now i quit college, but im excited to start a new course in 2 weeks :)"

My family isnt antivax, but we rarely take medicines, but now my dad is taking a lot, but he doesnt need all of them, so my mom will put them on trash, and i look at them and feel the urge to say "there is a specific box on pharmacies where you put old medicines, i could put those meds there :)" and....... take all of them, i dont expect to die in this daydream, i just want to be numb and feel pain. But i wont do it, ok

My friend attempt to kill himself again some weeks ago, i already talked about him here, he is Zerzan (?), i forgot his codename here. Actually we barely chat nowadays, because im afraid of him, plus he is not a good person (he threatened and plan to kill a person some years before). But we still talk every now and then, because im afraid to block him and he do something against me (but he lives way away from me and only knows the name of my city)

#depressed #depression #possum #mine #suicidal #mental illness #vent

[autisticlalna]

FROM NOW ON WE’LL BE USING CODENAMES wait i made this joke on like every blog we use. Fuck. Shit.

okay well we have an about now! and ill add personal tags to it once we’ve got them all figured out but:

leo (moonquest): #hold space to slow down; summer (nano): #little talks; atomic (lal): #work a miracle; five (five): #she spoke of it;

and caz doesnt have a tag yet haha whoops. we wont be tagging every fanart w/ these bc its for Big Feelios and then us yelling at each other on here

#txt #hold space to slow down;

[fluffenough]

i will tag ALL THE THINGS

tl;dr- i will always tag anything. please understand it can be hard for me though! please no squicks! absolutely nothing abt you, i just can only juggle so much ans i am really sorry for that.

im posting this mainly since it is holiday time and i know this is a trigger for some but since im unsure and very low spoon due to the season i need to conserve energy where i can. that said, it is never any problem! your safety matters

rest under cut, just to save anyone who doesnt like long posts. but full explanation there. feel free to ask any qs

that said!  i will tag absolutely anything guys. no bias as much as i can as a person, haha. im sorry for old meme in title. 

im a system so i have a bad memory but please i always want people to feel safe and have their triggers tagged best i can.

obscure weird things can be triggers too and youre not obligated to share why. my only thing is my memory is not very good and it takes a lot of energy so please only send it in if youre serious

its ok if youre afraid your trigger isnt serious i believe if you are willing to ask and you do worry about that to begin with it is! i feel that way too haha. it isnt a burden to me if it really helps you. i mean it!

you can send an anon ask but if youd like you can send public and i wont publish!

ill tag whatever. apples. fake fruit. fish. plates. irl hands. phrases. i dont mean to be insensitive sounding saying i can only tag serious triggers, it just can be overwhelming for me.

i cant censor words (like make money m—ny) very well its hard for me so i can make a personal note for you to tag it something else! (i.e. i will tag money like… mo word, or your name or codename no) names might be too difficult to remember but i can try. i wouldnt mind tagging certain furby types! i.e. if you just are triggered by giraffes for some reason. thats ok!

this is long but i just really wanted to get every point i can think of before i can think cause that darn memory.

(bonus:

to me, i define squick as something that makes you uncomfortable..you dont like it. youd rather not see it, but its ok if you do. you dont like bugs, but its alright.

a trigger is more that… if you see a bug, you take a long time to recover..it really hurts you somehow mentally. whether that is a panic attack, dissociation, depression, it depends a lot. but it doesnt make you just a little uncomfortable. even if it might seem silly, to you, it is just dread. like physical pain. i have triggers i am learning to cope with but often they lead me to break down eventually, even just a mention.

tl;dr- squicks creep you out. you dont like them. sometimes its a bit more intense but you recover. you blacklist close up eyes, cause ew, but its ok.

triggers, though therapy and coping methods can help as well as medication, are very serious. it sends you into a spiral of some sort, you can not easily recover. it sets you back. you may learn to cope but it still hurts sometimes.

#important #important post #not furby #textpost tag #jic anyone wonders #ill link this somewhere whe n i have an energy