#none of this is any normal for me

[bruneburg]

Sooo it looks like I might need even longer to end the current hiatus, I suddenly got invited to go to one more film festival, this time a Turkish one. And they are very kindly taking care of everything. I don't know what I did to deserve this. What is even happening.

What a rollercoaster of a winter.

#all this travel is noot great for my master studies project #and other responsibilities #causing difficulties with uni deadlines #i hope that can resolve okay once i'm back #im going there next monday #the festival is golden baklava student film festival btw #the festival team is extremely kind and i look forward to meet them #i hope i will be a good guest in their eyes #update #nonart #travelling used to be very difficult for me for quite a while now for a range of reasons so i just wasnt doing it #and now this year this winter with the festival stuff one after another #is a big change and utterly mind boggling thing for me #none of this is any normal for me

[hopeswriting]

was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr meta #can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol #yamamoto takeshi #sawada tsunayoshi #i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense #also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition #it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most #which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027 #and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying #like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100% #he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way #also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/ #they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference #and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark #because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive #and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know? #so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong #but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3 #anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence #even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it #it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point #and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3

[rainbowresurrection]

One underrated thing is Spock's title as Mister. He's not just Spock on the bridge, he's Mr. Spock

#i feel like it was more normalized in older contexts to refer to him as Mr. Spock #before there were headcanons about his last name #i do not subscribe to any headcanon surrounding his last name because none of them are sufficient to me #he can just be Mr. Spock in my mind #it adds to his mystique anyway #Spock #star trek

[aprilblossomgirl]

# mood 1 + mood 2 (basically)

#only friends #only friends the series #onlyfriendsedit #*gifs #namchueam #lookjun bhasidi #she's my savior <3 #i mean. for coming to me with these meme worthy reactions :') #i'd say noone of these friends are good. none. except for april and p'yo of course. for now. #not gonna lie though. watching these fucked up friends i'm having my kind of good time. the show is just as good as any other fictions. #however. it's watching the fandom that gives me a headache. i don't want it to ruin my experience in enjoying the show. #so. i'm sorry if i don't interact as much as i originally would love to with anything under the tags. #really. it's so weird that i got agitated way more by the fandom discourses or comments than the actual show itself. #it was the show that supposed to surprise me. not how a group of viewers policing reactions by others. #afterall. this is a show with so many layers that many already pointed out. so it's normal to have layers of interpretation as well.

[thefirstknife]

Hi Bel,

I keep seeing comments about people complaining about the quality of destiny’s writing and story in the last few weeks. I haven’t really engaged with destiny since season of defiance, what’s currently gotten everyone so riled up? I thought that people were enjoying Season of the Deep/Witch in terms of narrative, why is Season of the Wish causing people to deride the destiny writing staff again?

I don't know!

Deep and Witch have been absolute bangers in every aspect to me. I've been enjoying all interactions and lore tabs we've received. A lot of them are stuff that we've never had before, a lot of reunions and closures, a lot of development and interactions between characters who you wouldn't really think would have much in common.

Sloane's return and healing from what she's been through has been fantastic, Drifter opening up with her to help her because he also got help from others was fantastic, Sloane reuniting with Aisha and Shayura brought me to tears (Shayura's descent into madness was triggered by immense trauma of Sloane staying on Titan and Titan disappearing), everything with Sloane and Zavala...

Witch was just incredible in every single way; the focus on Eris, the amount of Eris and Ikora content!!!!! Everything about Xivu and Savathun and their interactions together!! Eris finally fulfilling her goal she promised Savathun YEARS ago, getting that closure.

Wish so far has been equally great to me. All the new stuff about Ahamkara is amazing, finally giving us proof for long-standing speculation about Ahamkara and how they aren't universally evil creatures and expanding on them as a species. I love all interactions we've had so far; finally we have Petra back, Mara's singleminded focus on figuring out how to defeat the Witness and her continuous work to improve as a person, ALL SJUR MENTIONS!!!!! I won't talk about the "leak" because we have no context for it so I will wait for the full story to be revealed before I can pass judgment; something that I think should be a lesson to learn from this entire year. Maybe wait for the story to finish before judging the story.

Literally everything this past year that involves Osiris, but especially this season now that he's back in his element with the Vex. And of course every little detail we get of him and Saint. Osiris honestly shaped this year for me with everything that he's done to uncover the biggest mysteries. I think a big reason is that a lot of people just don't like Osiris, which I consider a massive skill issue.

Other than that, I don't know what are the issues people have besides just not being interested in any of these storylines and attributing it to a nebulous "bad writing" claim. I also genuinely believe that way too many people get wrapped up too much in fandom, imagine storylines they want to see and then get disappointed when the actual story doesn't go there. Almost like people forget that this isn't their story and these aren't their characters. A lot of it is also fandom completely warping characters into not what they actually are and then feeling like the canon story is the one that's wrong.

Whatever is the reason, I guess everyone is entitled to their perspective of the story and everyone is free to explore the story in different ways through fanfics and AUs and whatever. I do that too!

But I would definitely ask people to be normal with how they engage in criticism, especially in the current state of affairs. Writers are developers; they experience a ton of harassment and negativity from the community and also from inside the company. And they are online: they can see what we're saying. It's been documented that community commentary has been used to harass writers:

Imprint this into your brain and never forget what these people had to go through. Let's not forget also the way people treated Seth Dickinson on social media when he was active with Destiny fans. "Fans" were actively arguing with him about his own work (telling him that HE is wrong) and were utterly disgusting towards him when he tried explaining what he wrote. His works are now hailed as the best writing in Destiny and people want him back. If I were him, I wouldn't want to come back ngl, not with how he was treated and not with how fans are still treating writers (and hey, Seth wrote LF Collector's Edition! So he was back, technically, this year!). Let's not forget that a lot of writers are members of various marginalised groups. And I'd definitely not want to go back with zero support from leadership.

Which is also an important aspect for all developers, including writers: sometimes they have orders they may not like, but can't argue against. They do the best they can with what they're given, the time they have and directions they receive. And with that in mind, I am enjoying everything we've gotten this year, obviously with some specific complaints about things I didn't particularly enjoy (like the universally mid reception of Defiance; I've spoken about my gripes with it before, a big one being the shafting of Suraya who should've at least been mentioned in a lore tab).

I can tell that there is passion in their work, even if maybe they would prefer to do more with it, but can't. Maybe even if they want to take different routes, but can't. But from what we got, I can feel that they care about this world and these characters. I can tell that someone lovingly wrote about Sloane and her friendships with two grieving women. I can tell that they deeply cared about Sloane's friendship with Zavala and that they loved showing us Saint and Drifter caring about a fellow trauma survivor.

I can tell that the writers are immensely careful and loving towards Eris; everything she went through was crafted with love and passion from both writers and her VA. Eris' story is such a fundamental aspect of Destiny and I can tell that this was important to the writing team and that they gave her everything they could to do justice to her character and her arc and her healing and her release from the cycle she was trapped in for so long.

I can tell that there are writers who care a lot about Osiris and Saint and their relationship. I can tell that someone cared a lot about expanding on Ahamkara and giving them more personalities. I can tell that someone cared DEEPLY about Sjur and Mara and that her repeated mentions are the passionate work of writers who want us to remember her.

I could go on. And I know that not everyone sees it this way, which is fine; we all have different ways of perceiving stories. I enjoy discussing things we in the fandom disagree on and I enjoy hearing different perspectives! Unfortunately, this has recently become rarer and rarer. And for the love of god, please try and treat writers with some respect, especially now, especially those who are still working and doing their best with the shitty situation they're in. None of the cries of "poor devs" ring true to me unless the same is given to writers, instead of treating them like punching bags.

#destiny 2 #long post #for the record: yeah i also have some gripes with some writing decisions. it's normal #but i feel like those are things that i can learn to accept or let go or even have my mind changed with a different perspective #or by just accepting that the writing team was limited in some way and that this was the best they could do #it happens to every story at some point #and yeah capitalism is the death of art. destiny's story would be better from start to finish if it weren't a shooter mmo #but that ship has sailed a long time ago. like. in 2014. #it's honestly a miracle that we got even a fraction of the stuff we got considering the target audience of fps mmos #and it's fine if this just isn't good enough to some. happens #but i think we can move on without being shitty about devs yeah? #in all likelihood writers may even agree that some of the stuff they had to write isn't the best or isn't what they wanted #calling them bad writers over circumstances we don't understand is just shitty #just like it's shitty to do it to any other dev over bugs in the game or badly implemented features or whatever #none of these people are sitting at their desks maliciously laughing while deliberately creating 'bad' things #and this is especially bothering me for writers because of how atrocious people are to artists of all kinds #almost like writers had to strike this year to be respected and treated as people that matter

[kisaraslover]

something something as evil as he is about owning and subjugating her for eternity shes twice as insane about being the only one for him

#yugioh #ygo #art tag #seto kaiba #kisara #blueshipping #ill say it!!! I THINK SET'S SOUL HAS BEEN REINCARNATING NON STOP SINCE HIS FIRST LIFE. lost bitter. its so angsty because #hes destined for the same game same shame same loss for hundreds of lives. i think he had many wives many children #I KNOW IT SUCKS BLUESHIPPERS BUT LISTEN: none of those souls binds to him carried into the next. UNLIKE SOME INSANE WOMANS #WHO DECIDED TO ANCHOR HER SOUL INTO HIS BECAUSE HE WAS NICE TO HER ONE (1) TIME #kisara is more insane agenda. she just didnt have the screentime to show it!!! #as if any normal woman is suffering this guy for 5000 years for a single moment of kindness. miss me with that idiotic bs #only kisara is crazy enough for that smh #he had many wives and my sons and many families and his bitter angry long suffering soul only knew her light!!!!!!! shut up #anyway so i think we should be freaked by her coveting gaze

[bitegore]

When i say i want to hang out with weirdos I do not mean "I want to hang with gay people and that's my marker for whether or not someone is weird." I'm not saying "weird" and meaning "vaguely aro" or "polyam" or "nonbinary" or whatever. Those are not personality traits. They tell you nothing about what that person is like. If i say I need more weird people in my social circle I'm talking about people who are weird. People who aren't like, going with the grain of any community based on literally anything. I have standards for this. I'm looking for like. People who won't blink if I say i only ever enter my house through the window or when I talk about drinking gasoline and then do it and they see I'm not joking, or people who won't think anything huge of me cracking the top of an eggshell and drinking the whole thing from the top in one mouthful. Or if they do, they do enough same-vein shit that it doesn't faze them. These are not really the same as being part of a very broad group of people who happen to have an exogender or whatever. I have met some incredibly normal (derogatory) trans people and gay people and aro people and nonbinary people. When i say weird I mean weird.

#saw a really annoying post. #red rambles #im being so brave by only saying this #like. why are you convinced exclusionists are the ones who want their circle to be more interesting and permissive 1. 2 no the fuck i dont #mean 'i want to know more aros' when i say 'i want more weird as hell friends' that means nothing! thats like saying i want more friends #that eat chocolate. thats not a fucking personality trait #weird is a trait about a personality! weird is a thing about THE PERSONALITY of the person ARO is a ROMANTIC ORIENTATION #im not befriending people on basis of their fucking genders do i look that boring to you????? #fuck of. #-3x0 #-3x5 #if you think i'm weird because i'm transgender rather than weird because I'm weird and transgender because i'm transgender then like you've #genuinely lost the plot. 80% of the things i do are much weirder than wanting a different appearance and none of them have almost anything #to do with me being any kind of queer except the non-loaded dictionary kind #my gender situation and shit is probably more normal than the rest of my life by far #i dont even disagree with the idea that you have to be more broadly accepting of people if you wanna share space with people like me but for #the love of god. i would rather hang out with a cis straight avowed furry than a nonbinary xe/xem user who thinks that anyone who dresses #differently from the Fashionable Standard or doesn't listen to the same music as them is somehow Transgeessing and Being Soooooooo Annoying #^not a hypothetical

[milkweedman]

I ended up making an actual video about the technique, which you can watch and comment on here ! I did very painstaking captions, in case I'm difficult to understand. Some additional information:

I was able to process fiber on it at a similar speed to on real hand combs, with extremely similar results--both the palm comb and hand combs produced a good worsted yarn with minimal halo.

I tested 5 different breeds with varying crimp, staple length, micron count, and amount of vm, and found that it performed best with the Ouessant I tested, which is a medium wool on the fine side of average with not a ton of crimp, and neither excess lanolin nor vm--in that case it outperformed the hand cards. But with anything other than very short, very fine fibers (1 inch/2.5 cm long Cormo) the yarns I spun from the resulting preparations were almost indistinguishable.

left: hand combed, right: palm combed (everything below the yellow stripe on this one was picked open by hand as an additional comparison, which was much slower, more painstaking, and nowhere near as neat of a prep)

left image: all 3 sample yarns before blocking--hand combed on left, palm combed center, picked on right.

right image: side profile of swatches--the picked has some fuzz/a visible halo, the other two don't have much.

You can find more details in my original post.

#palm combing #hand combing #hand combed top #palm combed top #experiment #knitting #spinning #handspun yarn #fiber prep #wool prep #shetland #me 18 hours into this project doing absolutely none of the actually quite urgent stuff in my life that i ought to be doing: im displaying.. #a normal amount of interest. in fiber crafts. normal completely. #anyway #i may also post this on ravelry ? see what ppl think ? #i can never fucking tell if im being an idiot or actually helping in any way. really hope helping ? idk #Youtube

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

they got penalties 😔

#nothing to say really. i just like looking at them <3 you can get them to synch perfectly #naruhodou ryuunosuke #mikotoba susato #naruhodou ryuutarou #it's interesting that she didnt take any of kazuma's mannerisms. he has his own thinking & objection sprites but they're slightly different #in fact none of their sprites really parallel perfectly. you have to stretch the comparisons a bit for any of the ones that seem to match #which coupled with how she calls him kazuma-sama while he insists on judicial assistant mikotoba for her and how she altered the entire #trajectory of her future to help him with his dreams only to find out he's been hiding a significant part of that from her the entire time #ofc makes me soooooo normal to know. so so normal. #anyway im drawing sparkly pink hearts around her and ryuunosuke like they're in my diary <3 love them.

[not-another-robin]

My opinion does not hold any weight bc I am literally delusional about these fuckers

#on one hand i could write a 16 page essay about how alfred helped normalize for me the idea of being taken care of as a disabled adult #and the idea that being an adult who needs assistance with every day tasks does not make you useless #and helped me combat a lot of self hatred and hopelessness when i was diagnosed #and. TO ME. Batman and alfred feel like a genuinely positive representation of an autistic adult with executive disfunction with a caretake #but then again. i literally live in looneytoons land and most likely none of that has any canon evidence #if not the opposite #sorry lol i just. have thoughts but i know my thoughts are not well thought. you know #i would love to contribute to real conversations about the representation of disability but im. stupid

[rongzhi]

The Art of War

English added by me :)

#douyin #video #tiktok #酱油白米饭 #i am trying to edit a livestream in my free time today even tho i was gonna do other douyins first #you know. for variety #for the blog. or whatev they say #but they livestreamed for the first time last night and i just so happened to catch it!!! and then i went to bed at 6am LOL. #it was cute tho. ive never really watched livestreams that much before #i think i'll clip a few highlights and then put the whole (incomplete) unsubtitled video on youtube idk #i'll sub the clips is what i mean #good thing i basically have insomnia in the summer anyway i guess #(i say - as if my sleep schedule is more normal any other time of the year) #the hyperfixation is closing in on me tho AHH AHAH #[scream] #big takeaway is that none of them are trained in anything but self taught parkour. and i think jiang is the oldest? #and was in the military at one point and is the one who taught xiao bai parkour? i'll have to review #fan luda doesn't show his face apparently bc he has low self esteem

[thewatercolours]

Podfic: "Captive Crown" by GerbilofTriumph

A shabby narration of GerbilofTriumph's excellent King's Quest fanfiction, "Captive Crown," complete with outrageous attempts at accents and enough bloopers to start a drinking game (with um, raisin juice. There are too many goofs for the real stuff.) This wonderful fiction, full of courage, nightmares, and healing, is gratefully recorded and shared with permission of the author, @gerbiloftriumph. Go check out her awesome creative blog.

All seven chapters are available at the link above, but if you just feel like listening to the first chapter while you scroll, voila:

Original text here:

#podfic #king's quest #king graham #I learned a couple of things about Audible in the process but you're still getting the unedited version because I'm not confident enough to #implement all I've learned. :-) #As usual the thing that frustrates me most is that I cannot for the life of me do a good Graham impression. I mean - none of my impressions #are ever going to land me an act in Vegas - but at least with the others I can kind of hide behind the fact that they're all very zany #voices. Graham's more normal and so it feels like I ought to be able to give a better impression of the music of Josh Keaton's speech #and in my head I do a slightly better job at it then when I hear it played back. But it's all for fun anyway - I just wish my voice #was magic. #But regardless of quality I had a ton of fun and am very thankful to my good pal Gerbil for letting me do this! #I mean I'm preaching to the very small choir here but this really is one of the best KQ fics online and it was a joy to narrate. #if there's any tech flaws please let me know - I should preview the whole thing before I post but I'm too chicken to listen to my voice for #long. ;-)

[yurinullification]

.

#i love all of you #so fucking much #but god this blog feels lonely sometimes. and like i know it's my fault but that doesn't exactly make it better #my dilemma is that i need to talk with people #just. be in contact #in order to function #but actually talking with people is extremely stressful no matter what i do #and i just feel bad for all the people that have talked with me #only for me to end up completely ghosting them #but i don't know how to change and it feels like it's slowly corroding me from the inside #i had friends in primary school. kinda #barely #then i entered high school #first year pre pandemic i had a group that for whatever reason latched onto me as one of them? #but then we moved to online classes #and when that stopped and we all came back i was completely alone again #then i moved to a school focusing on autistics in 2nd and it was like 5 people in my class #none of us ever talked to each other #i just wish I'd had literally any real friends over the past 4 years so I'd actually know how to act. and get used to people #maybe i should just accept that I'll never be able to interact normally with people #even other people w autism clearly #and try to live with that? #but I'm gonna be honest i don't know if i can #so what the hell do i even do #i don't want to be coddled #i don't want to be pitied #i don't want to reach out #which leaves rotting as the only option

[wyllsravengard]

idk what ramadan is gonna look like for me this year lol

#z.gen #i try to be more on my deen and i will do it this year #like hitting all of my prayers when i normally hit like 3/5 etc #no substances which fluctuates yearly since being calisober is what got me off other drugs but should be fine this yr #a lot of people wont listen to music either but i honestly dont listen to it much during the day regardless #having a very night time schedule is helpful during ramadan #i think im gonna try and focus on establishing all of my prayers #i dont really care to talk about my faith much cause its so genuinely no ones business #but i am muslim i just dont follow the practices of any of the four major sunni schools strongly for other reasons #im not shia either tho... looking #none of it matters rn cause i cant fast anyway LOL but its okay #its just like. kind of hard to celebrate islam with whats going on in palestine #like a lot of my fellow muslims get really obsessed w the aesthetics #but the month is about refraining from worldly desires and practing restraint and is generally anti consumerism #so its like. idk if i care for fun silly ramadan recipes. im gonna try to organize stuff with my mosque again inshallah

[aroanthy]

actually whilst im comparing the utena fandom to utena characters i did have a really funny thought a couple of months ago about how people who neglect the impact of touga’s history with csa do the exact same thing that he does. like they’re both like ‘didn’t happen :) not real :) wouldn’t have any tangible effect whatsoever :) now watch me craft an elaborate web of lies that dont make any fucking sense in order to obfuscate the truth (not pictured here)’. guys who hate kiryuu touga when they do the exact same thing he does

#none of you clowns ever want to unpack what goes on in 31 and 32 re: adoption narratives and it makes me !!!!!! #touga is supposedly The Adopted One and yet nanami is positioned as the ugly duckling #but he only makes that implication to keiko!!!! he’s spinning a narrative that’s more favourable to him!!!!! #because he!! didn’t want!!!! or expect!!!!! this aspect of his life!!!!!! to be used!!!!! in schemes!!!!!!!!!! #mfw my sister deduces that im adopted and i overcomplicate everything in an attempt to obfuscate the truth that no one was even poking at #bc my sense of shame is THAT deep and profound that even acknowledging any aspect of my childhood sends it all unravelling #like ok. normal about that one #you literally see him when nanami says it. react with genuine shock like he’s startled he’s made uncomfortable he’s shocked #and then there’s a pause as he Decides to go along with her belief and craft lies to support it #im just. gahhhhh im so normal #like 31 and 32 are such good episodes that i only started thinking about touga’s experiences in them in the past year or so #bc for the previous three i was just like NANAMIIIIII NANAMI NANAMI #there are so many layers to each character and how they all intersect ohhhhhhhh oh #hey guys did you know i like her tragedy #dais.txt #her tragedy her triumph #obfuscation abventures

[deus-ex-mona]

rage is a ✨way of life✨

#found out that i successfully angered someone by not showing up to work on saturday lmaoooooo #and im just like… gOOOOOOD. BE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!! #mans has no room to be mad anyway. it’s his fault i had to ot for 7 hours to cover his work for him in the first place soooooooo #a nd he’s getting demoted next year and im ahauxucjsjjsjsjsjxjdhss #in other news im kinda annoyed by my mother’s (unfortunate) pressuring of me to go to the upcoming family christmas gathering :( #like no way manssssss i haven’t seen the extended fam since my grandma’s funeral and i’d like to keep it that way thanks~~~~~~~~ #and a c h r i s t m a s gathering of all places… m a n. im half expecting them to drag everyone to church to end off the gathering… #i wouldn’t put it past the hosting aunt to do that ngl. she had tricked me into attending a church service in the past and all… #like. man. there’s this local mall that has a similar name to said church service… #so ofc it’s normal to assume that said mall is what she was referring to when she said ‘let’s go to [insert name]!’ with no context right??? #and uggshdhdjjsjsjdjs i don’t wanna be introduced to my cousins’ kids as ‘auntie [insert nickname i hate]’ bc that’s lame #and m a n. i definitely don’t wanna interact with my cousins’ kids. i either don’t know or can’t pronounce (or both) their names #i only remember the oldest one’s name (bc he has a stereotypical frat boy name) and the one who’s named after a ninja turtle #but none of the rest. i think some of them have names from my cousins’ spouses’ home countries? dk about the others though #i’m 80% sure one of the girls was named something like ‘triceratops’ but that doesn’t seem right… #being named after a dinosaur sounds cool though… or any prehistoric creature really #if i could choose my own name i’d like it to be ‘coelacanth’ #just so i can say ‘i coelacan’t do it!!!!!’ if someone asked me to do something i don’t wanna do. the pun potentials are endless mans #huh. wow… i started this off with a mad coworker and ended it by turning into a coelacanth… how did we get here anyway…? #oh wells no one reads the tags anyway uehxudjdjdjsjsjss my secrets are ✨safe✨