#not everything u do is a symptom

[ambertea]

ops on tumblr: describe a very basic human behaviour

others: :o that’s neurodivergent

op: omg :o

others: :o

#not everything u do is a symptom #reflect on neurotypical who have u met who u can confidently say is completely neurologically typical #you can just be a weirdo that’s still sick #(this post is not an attack on mental illnesses. adding this bc. internet.)

[tortellinigirl]

I feel like recently, ADHD has kind of become shorthand for “a person who is annoying online and has no real problems,” and I don’t really think that’s awesome news, given the context that ADHD has a long history of being disregarded as a made up disorder that’s just an excuse for poor/obnoxious behavior, no matter how much scientific research proves otherwise. ADHD is not by any means the only disorder that has people making a thousand misleading tiktoks about it, so perhaps do some critical thinking about why specifically ADHD has become the poster child for that behavior. There are certainly valid criticisms to be made of the way we discuss mental health online, but maybe use your brain and determine why this disorder in particular is the one that’s easiest to point at for being “annoying” and “not that big of a deal.”

#idk maybe if u actually watched a couple of the tiktoks u might learn that the lack of focus thing is reall not the main issue #its just what the people around us are most likely to notice and be bothered by #not saying it doesnt get obnoxious seeing people say the same thing over and over #and yes some people are like purposely vague and disingenuous about the symptoms to get views from people thinking they have it now #but i see that with everything. like autism PTSD depression OCD anxiety #im always getting tiktoks saying that im a lesbian or i have repressed memories or “x normal thing is a symptom of y disorder!!” #and yes its annoying but its probably somewhat helpful to people who actually are dealing w those things #and also like. if u simply stop treating ur for you page like a crystal ball that sees into your soul and reflects it back #and realize its just an algorithm designed to make u interact whether thats bc u like what u saw or fucking hated it #then u will not be as bothered ! #but yes our generation seems to have a habit of constantly trying to find the right box to out ourselves in so we can be like. “marketable” #like people seem to want to design their personality like an movie character or something #but its so shitty that we’re dog piling all that on ADHD as if our specific disorder has anything to do with it #also personally i think its kind of normal to be really focused on a particular aspect of your identity when u just discovered it #and it usually evens out and just becomes part of the background of your identity #but yes there’s often a problem with pathologizing normal things #but i think its important to recognize that lots of things that are normal occasionally are pathological in excess. like thats how it works #like we’ve all been through how being sad sometimes is not the same as depression #why cant we grasp that occasionally going into a room and forgetting why you’re there isnt the same as ADHD #my posts

[realbeefman]

for as much as house says “everybody lies” he does. believe patients about their symptoms far more frequently than any irl doctor would

#‘everybody lies’ *proceeds to acknowledge that a patient having pain is. in fact. a symptom* #this man will take peoples PERSONALITY into account #told my paps doctor that he had suddenly become very violent when his alzheimers first began #and this man went ‘aging and opiods can do that! we could. cut off his pain meds?’ #like. MY PAP WITH SEVERELY ADVANCED RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS IS NOT AN OPIOD ADDICT U FUCKING MONSTERS #honestly as someone who has experiences that can very lightly be described as traumatic in the medical system #house is really refreshing and comforting #because everything he does he does because he CARES about patients. because he wants a diagnosis #he doesnt just discount people because they have pre-existing conditions or psych problems or because theyre fat or poor #he still tries to treat them #which is way more than any doctor ive ever had has done #house md #house md shitpost

[ef-1]

legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23

#so. #i fell into the fireplace lol #- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with #because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong #your body feels wrong. #i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18. #because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating #im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you. #but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb #or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning #i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic #so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?' #anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place #and my legs just gave out 😍 #and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh #which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed #and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me' #and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed #and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh #and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok #💚 #tw chronic illness #/ multiple sclerosis

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload? #me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃 #listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook #i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort #to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop #being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol #i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like #let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and #make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works #ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil #ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations #bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess #its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively #health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by #medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary. #like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think #of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf #my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its #bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror #when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the #most me coded character to ever exist #unrelated

[bpd4bpd]

anyone else's lack of emotional permanence contributes a LOT to their imposter syndrome?? i know its a bit paradoxical since thats literally a symptom of bpd AND adhd but my silly self likes to grasp at any straws i can to "proof" im faking

#actually bpd #bpd #actually adhd #actually borderline #like when im alone i mostly feel empty and like theres a curtain of apathy #separating me and my emotions #and i use that as a sort of ''gotcha'' that i dont experience 'extreme' emotions which is one of the main symptoms of bpd #even though. i guess a lack of emotions is also an emotional extreme #and then when im w my fp/friend and try to explain to them what i feel like alone #i literally Forget what i feel like and all of my thoughts and my overthinking spirals EVERYTHING #just GONE #like i know i experienced it bc i remember it but i cant put any concrete thoughts abt it together #so then im like ''oh well. if u cant remember your struggles at all then youre faking'' #i feel like this also has a lot to do w me not being able to. recognize myself or my personality or what im like #identity disturbance swag #wow that was a RANT

[realness-remade]

I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR SOON. yay but also very scary

#honestly for the most part ive been feeling better but symptoms still persist which scares me #ive been calling it a kidney stone this whole time but Im gonna be real im still completely unsure. so #if i do end up going some time this week wish me luck i havent done anything like this since around 12-13 so its very scary For me. smile... #if not a kidney stone the next most likely thing is some kind of infection #which shouldnt be too bad because again the horrid pain and really bad parts are mostly gone by now #-_- i wish u could just create a dump file of everything going on in your body and troubleshoot urself but Nooooo nope spend money now

[cannabisbutch]

Fuck fatigue

#worst symptom bc literally EVERYTHING ELSE could feel fine or even good but ur so tored u cant do anything!!! #juniper.txt #cripplepunk

[matoitech]

like i dont feel still years later that its pitting two bad bitches against each other to bring up that galo and lio Get Each Other in a lot of ways and even tho galo doesnt have a lot of specific trauma and experiences lio does u r just bad at writing them if u take the lazy and completely out of character and not even true to the actual canon of the movie approach of galo knows what ptsd is bcuz hes, a first responder. like damn rly. not the like, having ptsd? smooth save galo if u just always say oh its bcuz im an emt no one will know the information that was widely available bcuz ur trauma was broadcasted on the internet and news for ur entire life to where no one rly knows much abt u as an actual adult person and everyone just thinks of or recognizes u still over 15 yrs later as ‘the kid kray foresight saved’. but absolutely none of this did anything to him mentally. hes fine

#anyway i know 'trauma being different doesnt mean completely wiping one characters away to be a Stock Nice Boyfriend Helping The Other One #Thru His Basic I Looked At Wikipedia To Write This Ptsd Symptoms makes any sense or is not kinda stupid and shitty' is beyond fandom ppl #but its just such a Not Discussion like. ever. i mean to b fair. i was not involved w fan stuff. so i couldve missed it #and been like. its just me and the other ppl im friends with even bringing this up #but i feel when i went on twitter briefly here n there id see ppl say 'oh its hard to talk abt galos trauma so' and then thatd b it #IT JUST DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE TO ME. I KNOW HE IS NOT A REAL PERSON #BUT I DONT GET FROM LIKE A FUCKING. NARRATIVE STANDPOINT? FROM CHARACTER? FROM RELATIONSHIPS? #WHAT GRASP OF GALOLIO DO U EVEN HAVE IF UR SCRUBBING EVERYTHING ABT ONE OF THE TWO AWAY TO BE A NICE SUPPORTIVE #GENERIC BF W NO PROBLEMS OF HIS OWN. RELATIONSHIPS ARENT LIKE THAT #THATS WHAT MAKES THEM COMPELLING TO YOU? IF U HAVE TO WRANGLE THEM THRU A PAPER SHREDDER FIRST?

[jeremybearimyy]

so tired of the "they're not aging because they're unproblematic" angle. wrong. it's botox. it's botox, it's botox, it's botox, it's botox, it's botox, it's-

#everytime i see this it makes me FERAL #WHAT DO U THINK WEALTHY PEOPLE DO BABES #HOW DO U THINK THEY AGE SO ✨️ gracefully ✨️ #it's literally cosmetic surgery. #anyways we should be allowed to grow old and look UGLY #some features are purely pragmatic and that's ok #our bodies are meant to be functional. they are meant to love us and be loved. beauty is nowhere in that contract #fuck beauty as a standard we should measure everything by #it is enough to live and be alive #last thing: fuck cosmetic surgery for what it has done #fuck how normalized botox is #i cant count how many times i heard my mother talking about her fear of aging and her countless wrinkle-free creams #i cant begin to cover how many times she would look in the mirror and measure out what she would get and where #and i know she isn't the only one #and i know this is a symptom of a larger problem #but it's fucked we buy into it #god that was long #goodnight <3 #em speaks #new tag: #em rants

[horrorsequel]

pissed off when my instagram algo pushes adhd influencer content to me. like i DO have adhd but im still pissed about it

#idk how to articulate what makes me irritated about adhd influencer culture #there is an aura. a quality #everything feels too general and simultaneously too hyper spesific #it kinda seems like these ppl got adhd dx and then #started explaining every single thing they have ever done or not done as being an adhd symptom without doing research #or the research they DO is watching each others videos #idk if thats valid to say but thats what it feels like #i think we all shpuld get more educated on things. on patterns we may be in #idk i think part of this is just my exhaustion with labels #its not enough to simply say I DO THIS THING and I NEED HELP WITH IT and HERE IS HOW I DEAL WITH IT #it all has to have some huge greater meaning. it all has to be a part of your Label #i think thats a crock of shit #cos tbh once u get more than 2 labels #ppl stop caring and also ur making it up as far as they r concerned #this is true of physical ailments too #even tho thats an area where i think labels actually are helpful lmao #physical thinga are just so much different than mental things #im not saying NOTHING should have a name or a label #its just too much #we gotta stop honing in #we gotta play it more fast and loose #and just do what works

[bsaka7]

not 2 be a momentary sap on sideblog but.... u guys r so nice to me like genuinely when i started writing F1fic last july i was really just bored and lonely and writing to absolutely no one and now it's like... even on the most random pairings i write or the smallest little fics...the response and comments (especially recently) are beyond anything I could have imagined! I've never been part of a fandom community before and I really appreciate it!!!!!

#I need to be better at commenting myself!!! #And u guys put up with me even tho I'm like chronically online and Moody! #I've said b4 this is the longest I've been in one fandom (and also only the 2nd time I've even created anything) #so. Yea. That's cuz all of this. #I barely had mutuals before!!! much less ppl I actually message!! #anyway obv I will continue to write etc do my piece. And of course it will be random.... as my mind decrees... But hopefully still good! #Personally I also no longer hate everything I write which is also a symptom of writing a lot I think #Which is probably also why I write more now? Also cuz I just have a job and nothing else to do #I'm probably forgetting stuff but like. Whatever. #Also its MY Sunday night so I'm allowed to be weird

[elytrafemme]

the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years. 

but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.

#nightmare.personal #it's also hard with BPD because. and i'm not saying this in a way of like ohhh haha it wasn't that bad [was objectively awful] #my childhood by any objective measurement Was Not Terrible #like yeah i have disorganized attachment patterns but that's iffy. it was non-abusive. things weren't great but they were damn good. #stuff just got messy once i turned eleven but by then you're basically old enough for that to not matter as much #but even then like. things are consistently Not Horrible for me i have lived a remarkably lucky life #and like there's the missing puzzle piece of it all but i'm beginning to suspect that whatever i imagine i repressed never truly happened #and if it did it wouldn't matter i'm never going to remember. so the point is like #yes the symptoms track yes it is the best explanation i've found to this #but there are still holes in this diagnosis and i'm never going to feel secure in it #and i'm exhausted and i just want to know that i have some kind of explanation #because even if it causes people to treat me kind of shitty at least they know why i act like this #but if that's not the right explanation and i have to go back to square one #having no kind of reasoning behind why i act so uncharacteristic very suddenly or why i get really hostile apropos of nothing #and then send you texts threatening sh before messaging again like hey do u wanna see this funny video #getting into relationships and treating them icily before jumping in so deep that they become my everything #i can't go back to the time where there was nothing to explain it. where people just didn't know why i acted like this #but i don't know if i've reached an actual explanation or if i'm just desperately searching for anything to fix this #and if anyone could tell me objectively in a way that i believed. that might destroy me but it could also fix this #neg #God i'm exhausted

[vulcanhello]

anyone trying to argue fanfic is inherently better than the films, books, and other stories they originate from i just KNOW doesn’t actually watch movies or read or engage with anything outside their favorite ao3 tags

#fanfic just gets into DEEPER THEMES that a blockbuster CANT #like. i get what u mean. sometimes fanfic DOES do that #i just hate when people believe that its impossible for film— especially movies meant to be blockbusters— cant carry strong themes or #dig deep into their own canon #like yeah i could almost agree with that. fanfic DOES have the ability to explore parts of canon that the source material hasnt #(altho sometimes canon doesnt spell everything out to you for a little thing called INTERPRETATION and NUANCE) #but i think that rather than treating fanfiction like a fun side thing and actually arguing its better than what it stems from is just #another symptom of the dumbing down of media ive seen recently #where the majority of the biggest films are products of disney and media conglomerations that value money making formulas over creative #and new stories #like i get it. top box office hits of this year are sequels and prequels and remakes (talking abt usa) #and places like barnes and noble and amazon bookstore would rather create a real life booktok store rather than showcase or even HOLD IN #STORE books that are not getting talked to death online #but if you for one second bother to try and find something other than what youre being sold you will find some WONDERFUL STORIES #watch a foreign film. read a book about a different time or place #go to your closest newbury comics or local record store and buy a fucking cassette tape and throw that shit in your walkman because youve #never seen the band before #i get so frustrated sometimes because people refuse to branch out from fucking fanfiction and marvel movies and spotify top ten #which is FINE. things are popular for a reason. but if youre finding that the most emotionally moving and deepest thing youve read all year #is fanfiction. then i fear you simply have no standards for art #captain’s log #sorry but i saw a lame post here (fanfic is deeper than canon) and got annoyed so i went to tiktok (saw a video that was like remember the #twitter drama this year that said it was ablist to READ) and so i left tiktok and came back here and saw ANOTHER annoying post along the #same lines and it just. never fucking ends

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#bleh. dont burn yourself out kids #everything ive been a part of for the last 4 years in this lab has to b published eventually #and i just had my 1st paper published. probably the most interesting thing i worked on and how do i feel abt this? i dont feel anything #but bitterness. every congratulations i hear i just wanna say fuck off. dont encourage this. do u kno what i did to make that data exist #as u see it? i mangled something within myself beyond repair. enjoy the information if u want but i wont #all i see is a symptom of an illness im doing nothing to treat #everything i did in this lab will be seeped in anger and pain #it has to change. i wont let it be the same in my next lab. no more fucking timed experiments #i cannot b trusted to b normal abt them #ugh. i just feel bad bc i finished my measurements for the week and i have a 2 day lul until i leave on vacation #and i kno i have to get 3 heavy instruments to fedex tomorrow bc i didnt do it today #sigh. i csnt focus. i spent so much time today tryint to remember what im supposed to b doing. then i made myself mad writing out the #hypnoses for an experiment i didnt fuckinf design and i dont care abt. like y did we do this? idk i just fucking do what u tell me #maybe ill go run again. i dont wanna do anything #my dad yesterday: ready for vacation? me: yea 😭😭😭😭😭 #just gotta not crash my car on the drive to the airport bc i have to drive myself there 🙃 #unrelated #i hope the instrument manufacturers appreciate the unicorn tape i got specificly for shipping those things #bc how could i not when given the option?

[wraithsoutlaws]

,

#bad brain day (: #big 'hate everything you do' day #big 'you suck n you dont live up to your own made up expectations' day #big 'everyone is laughing at u' day #im having symptoms again