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tubatwo · 1 year

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back into you - choi beomgyu

summary: beomgyu is a sweetheart and you just want to be his friend

pairing: gn reader x choi beomgyu

genre: fluff; 1.3k words

a/n: gyu saying he wants to be invited to hang out more broke me </33 btw the other boys don’t exist here because they wouldn’t ignore gyubear like that

playlist: adoy - wonder, adoy - swim

if you didn’t know choi beomgyu by now, you were basically an idiot. choi beomgyu was a friend to all. people either wanted to date him or be him (or maybe both).

but there was only one problem.

many people saw beomgyu in the wrong light.

ㅤ

a typical day at school for beomgyu consisted of a few tasks: making the classroom laugh, making the staff laugh, making his friends laugh; basically just making everyone around him laugh.

once he completed those tasks and was back in the comfort of his own bedroom, he was able to take his mask off. be himself. fully, and completely. it’s not that beomgyu wasn’t a naturally funny guy, or that he didn’t enjoy bringing happiness to those around him, it’s just that he was starting to feel a bit burdened. on days when he wanted to keep to himself, people huddled around him, asking why he was suddenly quiet. if he was alone, people would look for him to make them feel better since they were feeling “soooo bummed about failing the quiz”

oh, and don’t even get him started on his love life.

girls constantly touching his shoulder, laughing a little too hard at everything he said to the point where it felt forced. it was almost exhausting.

at the end of the day, beomgyu was just a quiet boy who wanted to be loved. he had a bittersweet relationship with silence. during the day he desperately yearned for it, but at night it was like a reminder that loneliness came with it. beomgyu didn't want anything grand. he simply wanted someone who understood him.

it seemed like nobody understood any of this. nobody except you, of course. you noticed it. you noticed him in the library, headphones on while staring out the window. you noticed the soft smile on his face whenever the class was assigned to read love poems. you noticed the look of disappointment on his face whenever he tried to talk to his friends about a new band he discovered and they brushed him off. you noticed because he reminded you of yourself. to you, beomgyu seemed unattainable, but you were going to make it your mission to be his friend.

a few days later…

a test was coming up and you wanted to take some extra time to go over your notes. you decide to skip lunch and find an empty classroom to study in. after successfully avoiding any roaming teachers, you walk around the hallway until a familiar tune reaches your ears.

give me a feeling, slowly in a deja vu

it wasn’t loud at all, just enough for you to hear as you passed by a door. you peek through the window and see beomgyu doodling in his notebook while swaying his head. you hesitate before slowly opening the door, making beomgyu look up in surprise.

“sorry! it seems like we had the same idea,” you begin, “is it okay if I study a bit here?” beomgyu smiles and nods. “are you sure I won’t be a bother?” you ask, just to make sure. “no, it’s okay, really.” he reassures you before going back to his notebook. after a minute or so, you decide to make small talk. I mean, this is the opportunity you were waiting for, isn’t it?

“I really love this song!” beomgyu’s head immediately lifts at this. “really? you know them?” he asks. you nod and smile. “yeah! this one’s my favorite, but I also love their song lemon.” beomgyu gapes at you a bit before smiling and asking, “you’re y/n, right?”. you look at him with wide eyes, not expecting him to know you at all. “yeah, and you’re beomgyu?” you ask, already knowing the answer. you could’ve sworn you saw his ears go red. “the one and only.”

you and beomgyu spent the rest of the lunch period sharing music recommendations. before you left, he asked you for your number so he could make you a playlist. you felt like your heart was going to explode. a playlist? usually, you’re the one making people playlists, only to receive a simple thumbs-up emoji in return, and now beomgyu wants to make you a playlist?

the few days you two spent together turned into weeks, and then months. eventually, you and beomgyu made the tradition of meeting in the empty classroom every lunch period. it felt like the only time when you could quietly bask in each other’s presence. this was until it wasn’t. you and beomgyu were drawing doodles of maltese puppies and tiny bears in each other’s notebooks when you heard loud footsteps nearing the room. a group of people barge into the room giggling, making the two of you flinch.

“yo, gyu! where you been?” a guy asks before walking over to ruffle beomgyu’s hair. the guy takes a look at you and smiles mischievously. “oh, did I interrupt something?” you see beomgyu put on a fake smile before responding. “no, they’re my close friend, sometimes we study during lunch breaks.” you try not to blush at him referring to you as a close friend, and not just a friend. although, a large part of you wished for something more. beomgyu’s group of friends decide to make themselves comfortable and sit in the other chairs. beomgyu gives you an apologetic look before you shake your head at him, signaling that it was okay.

after a while, one of the girls looks at you with squinted eyes and speaks up, “gyu, they’re so quiet… how do you even get along?” your head lifts up and you fidget nervously, all eyes suddenly on you. “and what is this song? god, it’s putting me to sleep.” a different girl chimes in.

beomgyu slams his notebook shut before sighing. “could you all leave them alone? you know nothing about them.” he looks down before quietly mumbling to himself, “you know nothing about me…” the room is filled with an awkward silence before the guy from earlier clears his throat. “uh, okay, how about we just see you later?” the sound of chairs squeaking fills the room as they all get up and leave.

you turn around and place your hand on beomgyu’s arm. “hey, i’m really sorry about that…” beomgyu looks at you in disbelief, shocked, but not shocked enough to ignore the feeling of your soft hand on his skin. he shakes the feeling off before apologizing. “what? no, don’t apologize. they shouldn’t have said those things to you. they don’t understand.” you give him a smile before removing your hand, leaving his arm feeling colder than ever.

a moment of silence passes before beomgyu speaks up. “I can be myself with you.” you look up to meet his eyes, the two of you staring lovingly at eachother before the sound of the bell interrupts you, shaking you out of your trance. you both begin packing up and you softly grab his arm, giving him the warmth that he desperately missed. “would you wanna maybe…” you trail off, “do you wanna go to the new arcade with me this weekend?” beomgyu freezes and blinks at you as you continue. “I also know this really cool cd shop nearby, so maybe we could go… there… too?” you hesitate, starting to believe that you’ve crossed the line by seeing beomgyu’s blank reaction. you almost turn around to accept defeat before beomgyu suddenly goes, “yes!”. he notices how loud and awkward his response was before correcting himself, “I mean, yes, I’d love to.” you smile softly at eachother as he grabs both of your hands into his.

later in the week you receive a text from beomgyu.

gyu<3: can’t wait for our adventure tomorrow! :)

below the text is a link to a playlist labed “♥︎” and the first song is adoy’s swim.

I think of you

when I am sad and down

when the silence makes me cry

when it’s hard to try

I simply fall back into you

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toasterhasabucket · 18 days

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Just finished part 20

WHAT THE FUCK tw spoilers? Idk, I'm behind btw OH ALSO TW I TALK ABT HIS PARENTS AND THE POEM (ifykyk) and suicide so please if that makes you uncomfortable don't read this I talk about it a lot

okay first of all, kayne, hi? You're new that's cool, when I hear your name all I think about is rasing canes, the chicken strip place, so I image you as a yellow lab covered in blood with a rasing canes hat on.

secondly. The poem. Holy fuck, Arthur. Don't be relatable, you can't do this to me you can't I don't want to be twinsies! As someone who had a parent who committed, I AM DYING. I AM DEAD. Arthur, GOD WHY Arthur Arthur my sweet sweet wet twing rat thing of a man I love you. I am glad I was with a friend while listening to this, if I wasn't I wouldn't have been able to finish the episode today because I would still be BAWLING ABOUT THE POEM. I will never get over this.

Okay also. John bye? Come back please?? Please for the love of God come back

Was Arthur thrown in a fucking dessert after trying to commit??

Speaking of John trying to commit. His parents committed- before hand before they got in the pits Arthur was talking about if he needed too he'd end himself just in case that it could "save John" (something along those lines) and just NOW figuring out that he thought about killing himself, the only thing I can think about is how much he must of thought of his parents in that moment. (Probably speaking more biased than I should but I don't think I'd be too painfully off) Thinking of ending your own life while knowing your parents has done the same thing brings a strange, horrible, and repeating feeling.

Okay I can't talk about that anymore CARRYING ON

John. John come back please please please please I miss you

Arthur don't die please please please please please please please please please please please

#arthur malevolent #john malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent #GOD WHAT THE FUCK #I cant fo this anymore

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kneelingshadowsalome · 6 months

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So~ Arab!Reader has been living in my head and heart for a while now so I wanna share some Reader-isms that are closer to my own cultural experience (ignore this if it's annoying btw no hard feelings whatsoever)

-Her love language is arguing, has not met a hill she wouldn't die on. will sometimes get on the table or ask him to crouch down so they can look eye to eye as she fights tooth and nail over something she stopped caring about like 10 minutes ago but she's having too much fun. calls him "your majesty" or Sultan/Sheikh sarcastically in every argument.

-He told her to just buy candles instead of burning incense that produces so much smoke since "they do the same job anyway", she reacted like he just insulted her ancestors.

-Not a drinker but has a minor coffee/tea addiction, knows every cafe nearby by heart and has a whole set up at home, loves making him try new drinks she found online or from her childhood.

-Will take a million pictures of everything and especially him, doesn't matter what's happening, it must be recorded "for our grandbabies, habibi🥺"

-Desert camping trips!! König can start the fire while she's in charge of preparing tea and coffee. she's mostly excited about finding a dune buggy to rent for a day that's actually comfortable for his size, they ride until sunset when both of them are a sand covered giggling mess. finally they get to cuddle and star gaze, keeping each other safe from the cold desert nights.

-if they ever get married this is an inevitable conversation:

"Liebe, you said we are having a small wedding"

"Mhm"

"the guest list is 600 people minimum..?"

"...yes?"

poor guy, his saving grace is that men have a very small role in weddings here, just sit, take pictures, cut cake, then leave with your bride. no need to write vows, dance, or even kiss in front of people.

-NO PDA!! hand holding is the most they do in public and even that's scandalous sometimes. he tried to kiss her hand in a shop once and she pulled it back so fast he was pouty for like two days after the fact. He learns to appreciate this though because he can clearly tell when she's feeling possessive in public when she clings to his side, loves to tease her about it; "a hand on my lower back, schatz? how indecent of you"

-Cat-calls him as he's going out of the shower but only in Arabic, so he doesn't know how to respond to the wolf-whistles and enthusiastic yelling, the only reason he's sure it's positive is that he gets his face squished soon after, he can at least make out the stretched out word 'Habiiiibiiiiiiii~" Cue flustered mess König

-calls him her Antara, one of the most famous and celebrated warriors in Arabian history, who was also a great romantic and wrote so many poems about his beloved Abla. (Antara Ibn Shaddad, if anyone is curious)

Oh god I'm going feral I’m not even kidding ❤️‍🔥💀

The arguing thing would get soooo interesting because I think that König has an anxious/disorganized attachment style so he’d try to avoid any kind of arguments and disagreements with his woman. If König can’t tame his darling, he’ll just let her have her way so that he doesn't have to suffer from the sudden tightness in his chest.

But... If she’s doing shit like climbing on the table to stare him down, König wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. He'd soon relax into the situation and then start to tease her about her temper. Corrects his posture so that he's still taller than her, and gives her a warm, knowing smile :) His Liebling is so cute when she's angry.

And lol König would be suspicious about the incense, he’s not used to that kind of stuff at all, but he’ll be damned before he says anything. Discreetly tries to open the window sometimes but closes it immediately if darling walks into the room (no use, she already saw him and he's going to get an earful).

But omg no pda??? Very hard for König but he will respect your wishes in this. You can see it in his eyes that he’s being a bit of a sad sulking puppy about it, of course it all dissipates if you put that hand on his lower back... This will be like foreplay to him, you're a forbidden fruit until you two are behind closed doors, and if you “break the rules” while he’s playing nice then whoo. Prepare to get your guts rearranged when you get home!

Still, if König can’t kiss his bride at the wedding he’ll start a war. 600 guests is negotiable, as long as he can kiss her in front of everyone and declare her as his own.

#oh and the Antara part and the desert camping trip have me howling at the moon #longingly #I'M YEARNING #answered

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maireadralph · 8 months

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Entrapdak Zine 6 - Festive. Submissions OPEN!

Apologies for the delay in getting this open Please feel free to check out the Entrapdak Secret Santa event I’m also running at the moment (links are in my pinned post)

Anyway this is the post for Entrapdak Zine 6 - Festive!

The deadline for this will be Friday DEC 1st 2021 at 9AM GMT. What’s that in your timezone? Click here for a Handy Dandy Countdown:

I am flexible on this Deadline so anything that arrives on this date or by my 9am the next day is allowed (I’m in the GMT timezone BTW)

I am LESS flexible on the Extension Deadline

The Zine will be out before Christmas. The actual date is flexible and dependant on when all the Submissions come in and my own personal work schedule.

So most of this is the same as the last few - really if it ain’t broke don’t fit it! Also a polite reminder I am only one person running this and I am a part time Barista. It may take me a little time to reply to emails/comments especially after the deadline time (when I have the most amount of work to do on this project) so please be patient with me.

Our basic guidelines are the same as before, with just a few minor updates:

This will be:

A Digital Zine containing content created by the fans for the fans

A 100% Free Zine

Preferred Language is English

SFW content suitable for a Y7-PG13 age range (same as the show’s age rating)

You may notice I run this different to other zines as there is no sign up period, just submit work before the deadline - I’d rather people have more time to work on their pieces

Anyone can submit regardless of age or skill level - this is not a job application - just follow the guidelines and email in your work

Submission can be Fan Writing (poems, fan fiction, character analysis, eassys etc), Fan Art, or even photos of your Entrapdak IRL content (cosplays, fancrafts etc)! You can submit an older work that you have published online previously if you wish - or even update a work you submitted to the last Zine! Just have fun!

Guidelines applicable to all work:

Content Age Rating:

Like the show this Zine will contain content rated Y7 and PG13 rated - so please no swearing

There WILL BE NO NSFW or 18+ content - where possible let’s keep this suitable for all ages please

Sub note on character minimum clothing requirements:

for male presenting characters to be speedos/underpants

for female presenting characters to be a bikini/bra and underpants

if not sure please use the female presenting criteria

Theme:

This issue’s theme if you wish to use it is:

“Festive”

This theme is a suggestion and if you’d rather make an Entrapdak piece without this theme please feel free to do so. I want you to have fun!

Allowed Characters:

As long as both Entrapta and Hordak are the main focus and the piece follows Age Rating it will be allowed.

Other allowed characters in the Entrapdak family include Emily, Imp and the Clones (also known as Spacebats)…yes weirdly this also includes Horde Prime.

Other She-Ra characters will be allowed but Entrapdak is to be the core element.

Phew that’s a lotta text sorry about that - now on to the fun stuff! What sort of stuff is allowed?

Sex Swap AU, Species Swap AU, Furry AU, Toony AU, Anime AU, Fankid AU, Coffee Shop AU, married AU, Spacebat AU, just besties AU just to name the few that pop into my head! Oh yeah Canon Lab Partners Entrapdak too…hehe nearly forgot about that one XD. Make something Entrapdak related that’s PG13 rated and have fun!!

Fan Writing guidelines:

This includes fan fiction, analysis eassys, poetry or whatever else you’d like to write about. I would ask this content to be between 1k-10k words in length, it’s not a big deal if the writing is over 10k or even if it’s 20k - write whatever your story needs. If you’d like to write Chapters then please do!

Written work can be emailed in the body of text, sent as pdf attachment or as a link to a Google Doc - I can work with any of those.

Please include you name/username somewhere as it helps. If there’s no name on the piece I’ll add one at the start with the title.

Fan Art guidelines:

Fan art can include rough sketches, screencap redraws, comics (appox 1-10 pages length), coloured sketches or full colour pieces.

Fan art can be in the digital or traditional medium.

Traditional fan art can either be submitted as a photo or scanned, which ever you prefer.

Preferred sizing for Digital art is as follows, my aim to to have everything on International (UK) A4 paper sizing where possible*

2480px x 3508pm DPI 132

Portrait layout is preferred**

PNG is preferred but I will understand if you only wish to send a workable JPEG

The aspect ratio (width:height) of A4 paper is 1:1.4142 (1:√2)

If you need a template here’s one -> Here’s a prepared A4 Canvas PSD File (2480pm x 3508px 300DPI) if you��d like to download it and use it <- Template

Notes:

*Images outside these sizings are still okay but may end up with a white border on the edges due to the PDF publishing settings.

**Images in the landscape layout will get boarders when posted on a portrait page due to the PDF publishing settings, however if I receive landscape art I will make some extra pages at the end of the Zine and attempt to turn landscape art into a two page spread (which does look awesome!).

How to Apply:

Make your content and email it to entrapdakzineisluvd[at]gmail.com by JULY 1st 2023

Please make sure to include your Social Media contacts and which name or username you wish to be identified by. If you forget to include social media details and have been a part of a previous Zine I’ll use the details I have on file

I will reply to confirm I have received the content and that’s it I take care of the rest!

Please note I DO NOT KEEP any records of anyone’s email addresses. When the Zine is out I batch delete all emails sent to the email address (this is usually done a week after the Zine is out) and I keep no further records of these address. I respect your email privacy at all times.

The only records I keep on Zine applications is a private Google Sheet that has the following details: Submitter’s name, rough description of the item submitted and their social media contacts. I’m the only person with access to this Google Sheet as I use this as a Master List reference when compiling the Zine

FAQs:

Why no Application form?

I don’t want anyone to feel like they are applying for a job here, this is supposed to be fun.

Will there be Guest Artists or Guest Writers?

If they apply sure, I’m not advertising who applies to be a part of this Zine until it’s ready to be published. I don’t want anyone to feel intimidated just because a certain person has chosen to participate.

Can I submit more than one piece?

If you’d like to certainly! If you’d like to submit up to three pieces of art and 3 fan writings, sure go for it! I’m certainly not going to stop anyone having a good time

May I post a preview of my work to my Followers?

Sure! Bonus points if you link them to this post so that they can take part if they wish

May I post my work online?

I would ask if you could please wait until the issue featuring your work is published. Of course this does not apply if you are chosen to submit and older work - in this case may I ask that you edit or add to said post to mention the work was also used in the Zine?

Is this only for people with a [insert certain social media account here]?

Nope, this is for anyone who wants to take part. I only ask for a social media contact so that others who like you work for the Zine may follow you on your preferred social media platform.

Can I send an update to a piece?

Of course! Just let me know which piece you want to use and I’ll update on my end

Can I send another piece on later?

Of course that’s not a problem!

Ah I can’t get this done before the deadline - it’s almost ready!!! I need another day!!!!

Contact me, either through the submitting email over via my Tumblr or Twitter DMs or just emailing the email address. There is extra time allowed for an extension for anyone who needs it with no questions asked to why it is needed. Just get in contact, I'll put you name on the Extension List and that extra time is yours. Once all names come in (or the deadline is reached) I will finish up my work and get the zine out. I will not be sending out a further reminder (because I’ll forget sorry 😅).

Why don’t you make the Extension time public?

Because I can’t finish up the Zine if extra stuff comes in at the last second - I get jittery enough with final deadlines so this is how I manage my stress

More Entrapdak Zines??

Sure why not? If the community still wants them I’ll keep compiling them ever three or so months. I’ve seen what us nerds can do!

Where can I find the finished Zine?

All finished Zines are all hosted on a shared Google Drive folder https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1My_hDY8NmOWV7v6z0sYi0TSvxv07WowX Please share it with your other Entrapdak friends when it is ready.

Thank you for making it all the way to the end of this WALL of TEXT. It’s pretty much exactly the same as the Zine 4 and 5’s but with a few minor changes.

#hordak #entrapta #entrapdak #spop #fanzine #fandom #fandom event #entrapdak zine #upcoming events

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copaganda-clobberfest · 8 months

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What’s the white fang? Srry i don’t watch rwby

The White Fang is an organization made up of an in-universe minority group, the Faunus, who use violent (but successful) means in the hopes of achieving a set goal, being getting basic fucking rights for their people who, up until around the time the show begins if I recall, were being ENSLAVED.

But while in the first 3 seasons they were treated as Team Rocket Grunt: Black People Metaphor edition for our white mains to beat around, around volume 4 things quickly became incredibly sickening for me.

First of all, introductions of characters such as Fennec, Corsac, and Ilia— all of whom are non white characters even outside of their Faunus heritage, the former two being Muslim-coded and the ladder Lakota respectively— and said Lakota girl coming from a not-too privileged standpoint of someone who was orphaned by human doings, when her parents died in a mining accident that was never prevented by the company they worked for.

These characters are BAD Faunus, portrayed as violent and with the two Muslim-coded characters being portrayed as weirdly cult-y? (one basically kills himself/gets himself killed for the cause. I wish i was joking*) and the indigenous girl needing to be tamed by her much whiter friend due to her having been protesting “wrongly.” Indigenous people who protest against their treatment are to this day (as the bigotry and oppression faced by native peoples hasn’t gone away one bit) labeled terrorists.

The White Fang… are written to be terrorists. Terrorists who just want to take over the other and rule because “they (Faunus) are the dominant species.” This straight up sounds like propaganda you’d hear on the news during 2020. Shoot me.

The allusive leader of the white fang is barelt a character because she gets fridged the moment we see her and yet there is something to be said about her allusion. She is based of Shere Khan, a character from The Jungle Book,

written by the same guy that wrote the infamously racist “White Man’s Burden” poem in support of colonization and social Darwinism.

And then we get to Adam. Arguably the character apart of the white fang we saw THE MOST of, who in season 5 is suddenly this cruel, heartless asshole who only wants the Faunus to take over the white people I mean the humans.

And then in the season AFTERWARDS it’s revealed oh he never cared about the Faunus AT ALL HE JUST WANTED POWER BECAUSE HES JUST AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLE CUNT AND BTW you know the scene? The scene the writers included so that the viewers REALLY got just how evil Adam truly was?

They revealed Adam got fucking branded in the eye like a slave would be in 1800’s America. I wish I was kidding I really really wish. Branded with the initials of a human-owned, rich white company with… a German name. Schnee. Why do I point this out?

The name, Adam, is a Jewish name. It’s Hebrew. Fuck this show.

(sorry this is super rambly Anon just this topic makes me really mad in particular. Again, sorry!)

Edit:

*I worded this wrongly. He simply died for the cause, not outright offed himself or anything. My mistake. Still not a good look at all, but mistakes are to be corrected when I see them.

And no, this is not me trying to be some… “abuse apologist” for fictional characters. I am simply pointing out the fact the character was written this way, but also, what such a decision reflects onto the rest of the story. Plus… the (frankly poorly handled, that’s another day’s discussion) abuse storyline isn’t what we’re talking about. It’s the fucking racist writing perpetuated in this show.

But similarly to how it went in the show, the abuse storyline was able to cover up the racism for most people, as it nearly did me on an initial rewatch. Just like how Hama’s justifiable feelings towards the Fire nation were covered up by her blood-bending other people. The Flag-smashers’ ideals being covered up by them being terrorists. Killmonger wanting to improve the lives of black peoples globally being partially covered up by… you get the point.

Reblogs are turned of on this post for the meantime because I don’t want to start drama on what is meant to be a fairly harmless poll. Sorry for that.

#rwby #copaganda clobberfest #not a poll #rwby makes me break character sorry y’all.

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tavina-writes · 1 year

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Hitting you up because I want to hear more about Emperor Qianlong's art collection! My two big all-consuming hobbies are drawing and reading about history, so I pretty much can't get enough of either topic

OH OH where to BEGIN with Qianlong and his love of the arts???? And also okay he historically is SUCH a funky guy idk where to even begin on how much I love cool and kind of failflop Qianlong facts. If you want to know about his hilarious terrible poetry I leave you with this poem he wrote about cucumbers:

It is the best ingredient on the plate in Beijing;

I tasted it lately in February, but how can I give it a review?

Weighing down the trellis, and embellishing the fence, it looks so beautiful,

The rural landscape contains true feelings.

No this isn’t any better in Chinese. You can find it and other Qianlong poetry roasts here.

Okay, I don’t know if Qianlong’s art collection/paintings created for him can be contained in a single answer, BUT, I’ll do my best!

Emperor Qianlong was an avid patron of the arts, and his collection of paintings, jade pieces, and other antiques remain one of the greatest reasons why we still have a lot of the pieces on display around the world today. He was also in the habit of writing on/stamping his personal seal on his favorite paintings and art pieces, and some of these repeatedly viewed paintings (with his notes/thoughts/writings) also preserve great portions of his life, which is a really intimate look into him as a person especially throughout time. We rarely get this sort of information from a ruler since MOST imperial writing has been edited/was meant to present to other people. He also liked to take landscape paintings with him on his travels to compare the landscapes in the paintings to their irl presentation.

His habit of turning his favorite paintings into diaries is NOT a common practice btw, most people didn’t deface the paintings in their collections. (Okay they might put their personal stamp on it to explain that they own it, but WRITING NEW SHIT ON IT? nah.)

Art historians, btw, have been in argument about his practice of defacing paintings and basically being in conversation with them ON the painting itself, since practically the time he started doing this about if it’s destroying the art or enhancing it somehow. He was just. SUCH a guy.

(He uh, may also have used coercion, threats, and force to acquire some of these because he was the emperor and he wanted them. This behavior was normal for emperors but his obsession with art and antiques was slightly less normal. Like, this man was IN LOVE with art.)

The OTHER hilarious thing about Qianlong was that while he LOVED paintings and antiques and poetry and art he uh, well okay see the above roast re his poetry but he wasn’t very good at any of these things per se. (For example, there are multitudes of stories about how he’d get really happy about a certain painting or antique in his collection, only to discover that it was a GREAT forgery or a fake or not actually all that old and oh here’s the actual thing your majesty this is the real one and be SO embarrassed by this new knowledge that he’d just KEEP BOTH and pretend nothing was wrong. Like just WHAT a guy. What a guy lmao.)

Qianlong also really loved western style paintings and painters. For example, Giuseppe Castiglione was one of his favorite court painters (Chinese Name Lang Shining) and did these two paintings of Emperor Qianlong:

These two paintings are like, some of my favorite things because like, the combination of east and west, and utilization of like, different techniques and perspectives is !!!! in my brain. Like, it’s incredible and I love it so much.

Qianlong also incorporated a lot of western style architectural elements in his redesign and beautification of Yuanmingyuan and had a REALLY interesting life overall, but this is getting kind of long so 😂I’ll leave off for now.

Feel free to ask about anything that sounds interesting about this though! I love to ramble.

#qianlong #asks and answers #history #chinese history #he was just SUCH a guy #if I had historical blorbos this would be a historical blorbo

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thegirlwholivesin-delusion · 4 months

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HELLO THERE!!!

NICE TO MEET YOU ♡♡♡♡♡

I'm Ni/Annie/Cherry (whatever you prefer lol). I'm a minor! So please don't follow me if you are a nsfw blog.(You can interact with the posts of my main account but don't follow my side account or interact directly).

I have 2 accounts :-

1 account for my activism - @geminni5 (main)

And this one for other stuff - @thegirlwholivesin-delusion (side)

I have a lot of things I post/reblog about but it's usually books/artists I love.

My pronouns : she/her.

Sun sign : Gemini 🩷

MBTI : ENFP-T (Campaigner).

Also I'm an Ambivert ~

DNI : TERFS , HOMOPHOBES , SEXISTS , RACISTS AND NSFW BLOGS.

Also I love activism a lot (even though it hurts my mental health sometimes) and I probably am an Anarchist. I am a Feminist (intersectional), Environmentalist and Pro Choice.

Fandoms : PJO , Harry Potter , Olivia Rodrigo , AGGGTM , Chocolate box girls (underrated af) , and a lot more lol.

I have started posting poems recently (11th March 2024) so if you want to check those out , you can check out the tag #cherry🍒 writes stuff.

Oh btw really important notice :- This is what my #undescribed tag means. I'm so sorry but I didn't realise that it was not for that.

I occasionally have breakdowns so I might once in a while post some really depressing stuff on here. Sorry about that.

Also I have a tag #rambleeeee for posting the most randomest shit.

Also if you haven't realised by now, my favourite number is 5 lol. Oh also , I'm Indian.

Also I am a huge booktok and just a tiktok hater in general. You will find I reblog a lot of posts about that lol.

I mostly reblog posts but I sometimes post some stuff of my own (a lot of the times I find it on pinterest. The ones that I find there and post here are tagged #not mine!)

I am a poet / writer but I don't like to share my poems that much lol.

My mutuals : @acewithobsessions @holychaoticdevil28 @notbrucewayne48 @scrambledd3ggss @waiting-down-the-hall-for-me @starl1tt @stars-of-the-heart @snazzy-fangs @alphabetically-deranged @marcusmurdyspond @weeping-in-the-willows @jasperthenotfriendlyghost @guess-ill-dye @octoberconstellation @ringed-mars @lovelightwords @clarabowmp3 @rachellelizabethhdare @cc-horan28 @jay-drinks-gasoline @coldfestivalwitch @starrystims @readerintrash @swiftiebookwormlogastellus

I think that's all?

For now lol

I am very much happy to answer asks and always welcome them.

Also I send a lot of anon asks to people who are not my mutuals lol.

Anyways I really think that's all.

♡ Thank You ♡

GIFs from here

#intro post #india ♡

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catilinas · 1 year

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Hello! I’ve been looking through your terminal storytelling tag and the content consistently rocks, but what exactly does terminal storytelling mean?

hi! the phrasing of 'terminal storytelling' is borrowing (very extremely loosely) from rene girard's idea of sacrifice as 'terminal violence' ->

girard's theory of sacrifice has A Lot Going On but a key part is that the true act of 'sacrifice' is like. spontaneous violence, which is 'sacrificial' in that it ends an ongoing Cycle of violence. this could be though like. everyone involved being dead / violence so over the top that it puts an end to all future conflict. meanwhile the sacrificial ritual that might be what someone thinks of as 'sacrifice' is 'sacrificial' in that it is a substitution for this earlier act of violence, And in that it disguises the true nature of what sacrifice Is (terminal violence). or something.

but then if you get weirder and more into girard it's like. substitution and sacrifice are now the same thing. sexy takes on greek tragedy go here. is all representative Anything now sacrificial? probably not (although girard does have some insane and almost definitely wrong takes on the origin of language + undomesticatability of bears? idk). but i would say certain types of Narrative definitely Can be sacrificial In That they represent BadViolenceDon'tLikeThat in smaller / contained / controlled form e.g. ancient conspiracy narratives ->

(Victoria Emma Pagán, Conspiracy Narratives in Roman History)

like um. greek tragedy + sallust's bellum catilinae + every episode of scooby doo (ESPECIALLY every episode of scooby doo. girl help my monstrous double is being demystified) are all doing the exact same thing. to me.

anyWAY ok now ignore girard entirely. in a poem i have not read in full in plainwater anne carson writes 'who are they the storytellers who can put an end to stories' and it's like. what does it take for a story to tell itself once and then never Need to be told again. what does it take for a story to tell the definitive version of itself in a way that discourages any and all retellings / repetitions / sequels / whatever. if telling a story is like hashtag we are trapped in meanings that circulate like blood, what telling would act as Terminal Violence and just Stop forever?

or is that even possible! e.g. sorry i am always thinking about lucan but cicero (+ hirtius!) said that caesar's commentaries (incl. on the civil war) were written in a way that Deterred future authors from the same subject. caesar's bellum civile as Terminal Storytelling in that it positions itself as The Ultimate Account Of The Civil War (Don't Look Too Closely Btw) like ok maybeeee there was a civil war but caesar is In Control And He Fixed It so don't question his narrative ok. and to an extent it actually WORKED oh my god i hate the afterlife of caesar's commentaries almost as much as lucan, who dug up the corpse of the civil war and stuck it in a timeloop forever. unterminals your storytelling

there is some overlap in my tag w my tag for fate + being stuck inside tragic/narrative repetitions + stories left forever unfinished etc because imo you Do get stories that repeat forever More often than like. stories that self destruct at the end. and they also go together! you can try and figure out what makes storytelling terminal From stories / storytellers that are unable to stop.

but also hrgh stories that self destruct. antigone singing her own funeral lament. every single day i think about my friend ada's game meatspace ephemera (2021) that's made to be played once And Then It Self Destructs (Or Does It). literally perfect execution (haha) of the concept

#sorry if this is not the Most coherent but the tag / the idea of it all is Also not the most coherent. like it is a vibe #also antigone and emilybot from meatspace ephemera ARE holding hands (they dont know that the final scene of meatspace is totally inspired #by antigone :/ they dont know that ada was like hey have you read anything cool abt digital ghosts and i was like.#So There's This Greek Tragedy #meatspace ephemera i miss youuuuuu)#terminal storytelling #beeps

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tboom10 · 6 months

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oh lawd no he made poetry-

so there's this account i've been following for at least 3 days called @interwovenwordsmith. she makes great poetry, mostly about hollow knight. she insprired me to make some of my own. i was thinking about making it about the dreamers. but then when i was eating chocolate covered peppernuts (this is the most direct translation, its a dutch sweet with no real english word) i got an idea: "what if i make a poem about chocolate?"

so i did.

it was a nice change of phase. i haven't done something like this (aside from a dutch tradition were the peppernuts are kinda meant for), but i enjoyed it, even if it might not be the greatest. feedback is appriciated.

there might be some wrong information and some wrong grammar and you really need to mispronounce some things to make them rhyme, but i had fun, and thats all that matters. most information is ripped directly of wikipedia btw.

also should i do more poetry about other kinds of chocolate and tell the story about eating my first ruby chocolate kitkat?

thank you for reading!

#young poets #poetry #chocolate #dark chocolate #milk chocolate #white chocolate #ruby chocolate #idk if i did this right #send help #have a good day #or night #idk where you live #im not inside your walls #yet

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neoputo · 7 months

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little Good Omens 2 rant. didn't think this through so just watch me come up with new ideas as i go (lol).

about: That Scene in s2 + Aziraphale being weird but also, not that weird.

[ will be referring to Aziraphale as a he & Crowley as a she to make it easier to understand whom i'm talking abt. ]

the fact that Aziraphale told Crowley she could be his second in command still haunts me. why tf would he say that? like, i can understand everything else he said (in spite of it being rough): perhaps he's deeply traumatized, perhaps he has been manipulated and had no other option but to say what he said (among lots of other possibilities). but second in command... ouch!

and look, i get the theory that talks about how Azira said all that in order to piss Crowley off and make sure she wouldn't try to follow him/protect him/stop him. but WHY would he do that, if later we find him insisting once again Crowley goes with him to heaven. i don't understand. something. feels. off.

HOWEVER, let me bring a new interpretation to the table: let's take a look at walt whitman's song of myself, 51, a poem that goes

(...) do i contradict myself?

very well then i contradict myself,

(i am large, i contain multitudes.) (...)

but neo, what are you talking about?, you may ask. well, what i'm talking about is, no matter what theory you believe to be the most reliable, Aziraphale is having an internal battle that comes down to what he has to do vs what he wants to do:

on one hand, he has to go to heaven, protect crowley, follow the plan he quickly came up with while discussing with the metatron, etc.

on the other hand, though, he wants to stay with the love of his life, kiss her a thousand times more, tell her how much he loves her & that he fell in love with her a long time ago, etc.

so, to me, Aziraphale says the things he says because he has to; he's forced to do it, for one reason or another. however, Aziraphale also has his own feelings and, even though he can be very good at disguising them, some of them pop up while he talks (he looks anxious, about to burst into tears at any moment, desperately fighting back the impulse to kiss crowley and hold her in his arms for a little longer). he almost even says "i love you" instead of "i forgive you". god, he literally tries to swallow down every last bit of Crowley that's left in his mouth after the kiss, as if he had been starving for it for ages (possibly over 6000 years)... DAMN, AZIRAPHALE, DAMN!

so, yes, Aziraphale does, in fact, contain multitudes. but remember, there's not one side more important, or valid, or truthful than the other. both sides are honest and both sides share a place in this angel's heart+mind+body. he doesn't have to choose one, he doesn't have to discard one, for he is large and he contains multitudes, and these multitudes coexist, they are what make Aziraphale the way he is. without one or the other, Aziraphale would be a completely different being... or wouldn't exist at all!

that's it. thanks for reading!

oh, and btw! if you find this analysis interesting, i strongly suggest you watch youtuber Ter's video un concepto que me ha cambiado la vida: la performance (a concept that has changed my life: the performance—the video is in spanish + has english subs for those of you that don't speak spanish). it is AMAZING and explains this "containing multitudes" concept very well.

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #go2

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samseabxrn · 3 months

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12, 22, 32 for the weird writer asks!! 👯

Hello Rowan and thank you!! I typed out all my answers and then promptly did not save the post 😌 so take two:

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Oh, this is hard! I think...

To be able to finish any WIP I start.

To be able to pause time so I can write.

The ability to know exactly what I want to adjust when I look at my writing.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

There is barely a system here! I write on Pages so I can use either my computer or phone when I feel like it. WIPs I'm in the mood for stay in the cloud, stagnated ones go on my hard drive. My WIP folder is kind of a wasteland. I also write out of order and drag things around very often. I'm in a weird spot where I don't write super long fics, and I feel like I can't justify one file per chapter, but they're long enough that I get confused in my own docs... I need help tbh

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Warning: rambling ahead, haha. A few months ago, I read The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri and I felt so seen while reading it, so much of it felt painfully relevant, I was shocked in a way... The familiar relationships, the questions of identity and culture, a lot of it really hit deep. I don't want to quote the whole book at you because I would lol, but one core moment:

And suddenly, the sound of his pet name, uttered by his father as he has been accustomed to hearing it all his life, means something completely new, bound up with a catastrophe he has unwittingly embodied for years. “Is that what you think of when you think of me?” Gogol asks him. “Do I remind you of that night?” “Not at all,” his father says eventually, one hand going to his ribs, a habitual gesture that has baffled Gogol until now. “You remind me of everything that followed."

I think this is the perfect little highlight of their relationship: we've gotten to see both their perspectives, so we understand their intentions, but this is one of the first moments where Gogol and his father begin to understand each other. That lack of understanding causes hurt on both sides, and it's not going to fully stop, but there's a step here. I love that kind of cyclical parent-child relationship in fiction, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, etc...

#thank you so much bestie!!#inbox

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finniestoncrane · 1 year

Note

Hi Finnie! I hope it's not too much to ask, but may I request a no. 9?

In real life, I'm quite shy, calm, patient, and introspective. I always have been. I spend most of my time in my own thoughts, but most of them are either quietly observing all the sights and sensations around me, trying to find joy and beauty in even the smallest of things, or daydreams about fiction! I love thinking about my favorite characters and putting them in fun little situations. I also love seeing what other people create, which is why I'm always checking out other people's OCs, hehe~....

I also enjoy video games! I have a wide range of different tastes, and I like playing all genres. But I think one of my favorite genres has got to be open world games, I love exploring and discovering hidden secrets. In both real life and in games, I like meandering about, all over the place, just to explore and let my mind wander as well.

And I love romantic things, like flowers, love letters, dates, cuddling, holding hands, gazing at lights, trying new things together...it's all so wonderful! Sharing the beauty of life with the one you love is a precious thing. Since I can be very shy and quiet, having someone that actively wants to reach out to me, and somehow finds me, of all people, fascinating despite my meekness, is a very special feeling. It gives me hope that I'm not completely forgettable. That even someone like me can be appreciated. And that there's still plenty of kindness in the world, despite all of the bad.

......Oh, and I give amazing head btw (or so i've been told). My gag reflex is slowly going away and I can go at it for as long as the recipient wants. I love doing it, so much.

🎀 No.9: Ever Fallen In Love With Someone 🎀

tell me a little bit about yourself and i'll give you a rogue pairing a/n: thank god you asked because i had been saving him for you lmao 1k milestone info! 🔞minors dni🔞 • kofi • tag: finnie1k

this eddie needs patience, he needs someone who will listen and be kind to him, and i think someone calm and shy would be better for him too (i feel like i'm writing a bio for a traumatised cat at a shelter lmao)

he's a daydreamer! or at least he is by default, since all of his plans amount to pretty much nothing! but he doesn't let it deter him, he can see the joy in fixing things for next time and finding the good in even the worst situations to keep his spirits up

he's a little nerd, so video games are his favourite hobby. i think maybe he would get on better in life if he wasn't constantly viewing himself as a video game protagonist. he's 100% the kind of goober to make a beautiful house for you in minecraft and take you there on a date

ok so he's clumsy and a little shy but that means he learned everything he knows about romance and love from movies and tv, which means he's so overly romantic. a walking romcom. you'll get constantly bombarded by gifts and letters (and he'll even write you a poem or two and serenade you if you keep that a secret)

and he would absolutely cherish you, regardless of how outgoing or loud you are, in fact he prefers a soft and quiet presence. it's calming, grounding and most important, means there's room for him in your life, because he would hate to have to compete to be seen by you

ok god damn snow i am impressed and proud of you lmao so uh yeah, you know who deserves someone who gives bomb head the most out of all the riddlers? this little idiot, because he really deserves the best

#finnie1k #finnie writes

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sevicia · 28 days

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Ohh yah yesterday my sister's best friend came over for a while and we went to the supermarket which is nice I Wuv the supermarket.... and when we were having dinner (they made fajitas, I just ate meat and corn LOL<3) we talked abt a lot really interesting stuff cause she (my sister's bestieee) is studying to be an ocupational therapist I think ? And she's super funny too omg >< but genuinely sweet, I'm really happy my sister has a friend like her yk... She was talking about having a class called literally just Autism (I and II) and it was so funny cause I joked like "Did you talk about passing The Autism Test with your classmates" and she went YEAH!!!!!! & later we were still at the table while my sister did her makeup to go her BF's best friend's birthday (???) party and she talked about her mother-in-law going through an exorcism because her bf's family is full of religious fanatics who took her to see a Machi and a priest BEFORE taking her to a doctor when she was literally having a psychotic mental breakdown (??) not sure how to say it, but she was doing very very bad mentally and lashing out by yelling threats at her family and they all thought the best solution was to get some dumbfuck priest to scream bible verses at her while their extended family held hands chanting prayers around them like that is INSANE. The priest also used their shower and ate their food BTW like it was ridiculous. Oh and he recorded the """exorcism""" and put it on Youtube without ANYONE'S consent. AND he (along with some member's of the bf's family) would call my sister's bff SATANIC and HERETIC and you wanna know why?? FOR DOING BREATHING EXERCISES WITH HER MOTHER IN LAW. LIKE HOLY SHITTTT crazy insane. She was trying to help her with what she's learning in school and it was doing a good job at calming her down. and they insult her. HELLO?????

Anyways she and her bf (+ his brothers) finally made her father in law snap out of it and take his wife to a doctor where they evaluated her and gave her meds and she's doing MUCH better now. I've never met this lady because Why Would I... but it does make me angry to know how badly her own family treated her.

Oh after that we talked about religion (we all went to the same catholic school LOL) and I read (and translated) some parts of poems I like and she GOT them which is so refreshing like not being the only one looking at the wall head in hands style....... ykwim.

#oh this is LONG #diary #I like her a lot :3 she's really kind to everyone (esp. my sister!!) and super funny #also I like how I don't feel like an annoying little brother around her LOL #my sister has invited me to go out w/ her & her friends a few times in the past but I'm always like nooooo.....#cause I would intrude yknow ToT .......... though our age difference isn't THAT notorious anymore #3 years seem like less and less as u get older yknow........

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maireadralph · 1 year

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Entrapdak Zine 5 - “Nostalgia” is now open for submissions!!

Did you know this issue will mark two years of this Entrapdak Zine? I’m just as surprised as you!

Right let’s down to business!

The deadline for this issue will be Saturday JULY 1st 2021 at 9AM GMT.

What’s that in your timezone? Go here for a Handy Dandy Countdown -> https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/wfh?iso=20230701T09&p0=136&msg=Entrapdak+Zine+5+Deadline&font=hand&csz=1

I am flexible on this Deadline so anything that arrives on this date or by my 9am the next day July 2nd is allowed (I’m in the GMT timezone BTW)

I am LESS flexible on the Extension Deadline (see FAQs Section for more information on that)

The Zine will be out mid July the actual date is flexible and dependant on when all the Submissions come in and my own personal work schedule.

So most of this is the same as the last few - really if it ain’t broke don’t fit it! Also a polite reminder I am only one person running this and I am a part time Barista. It may take me a little time to reply to emails/comments especially after the Deadline time (when I have the most amount of work to do on this project) so please be patient with me.

Our basic guidelines are the same as last issue. This is:

A Digital pdf Zine containing content created by the fans for the fans

A 100% Free Zine

Preferred Language is English

SFW content suitable for a Y7-PG13 age range (same as the show’s age rating)

You may notice I run this different to other zines as there is no sign up period, just submit work before the deadline - I’d rather people have more time to work on their pieces

Anyone can submit regardless of age or skill level - this is not a job application - just follow the guidelines and email in your work

Guidelines applicable to all work:

Content Age Rating:

Like the show this Zine will contain content rated Y7 and PG13 rated - so please no swearing

There WILL BE NO NSFW or 18+ content - where possible let’s keep this suitable for all ages please

Sub note on character minimum clothing requirements:

for male presenting characters to be speedos/underpants

for female presenting characters to be a bikini/bra and underpants

if not sure please use the female presenting criteria

Theme:

This issue’s theme if you wish to use it is:

“Nostalgia”

This theme is a suggestion and if you’d rather make an Entrapdak piece without this theme please feel free to do so. I want you to have fun!

Allowed Characters:

As long as both Entrapta and Hordak are the main focus and the piece follows Age Rating it will be allowed.

Other allowed characters in the Entrapdak family include Emily, Imp and the Clones (also known as Spacebats)…yes weirdly this also includes Horde Prime.

Other She-Ra characters will be allowed but Entrapdak is to be the core element.

Phew that’s a lotta text sorry about that - now on to the fun stuff! What sort of stuff is allowed?

Fan Writing guidelines:

Written work can be emailed in the body of text, sent as pdf attachment or as a link to a Google Doc - I can work with any of those.

Please include you name/username somewhere as it helps. If there’s no name on the piece I’ll add one at the start with the title.

Fan Art guidelines:

Fan art can include rough sketches, screencap redraws, comics (appox 1-10 pages length), coloured sketches or full colour pieces.

Fan art can be in the digital or traditional medium.

Traditional fan art can either be submitted as a photo or scanned, which ever you prefer.

Preferred sizing for Digital art is as follows, my aim to to have everything on International (UK) A4 paper sizing where possible*

2480px x 3508pm DPI 132

Portrait layout is preferred**

PNG is preferred but I will understand if you only wish to send a workable JPEG

The aspect ratio (width:height) of A4 paper is 1:1.4142 (1:√2)

If you need a template here’s one -> Here’s a prepared A4 Canvas PSD File (2480pm x 3508px 300DPI) if you’d like to download it and use it <- Template

Notes:

*Images outside these sizings are still okay but may end up with a white border on the edges due to the PDF publishing settings.

How to Apply:

Make your content and email it to entrapdakzineisluvd[at]gmail.com by JULY 1st 2023

I will reply to confirm I have received the content and that’s it I take care of the rest!

FAQs:

Why no Application form?

I don’t want anyone to feel like they are applying for a job here, this is supposed to be fun.

Will there be Guest Artists or Guest Writers?

Can I submit more than one piece?

If you’d like to certainly! If you’d like to submit up to three pieces of art and 3 fan writings, sure go for it! I’m certainly not going to stop anyone having a good time

May I post a preview of my work to my Followers?

Sure! Bonus points if you link them to this post so that they can take part if they wish

May I post my work online?

Is this only for people with a [insert certain social media account here]?

Nope, this is for anyone who wants to take part. I only ask for a social media contact so that others who like you work for the Zine may follow you on your preferred social media platform.

Can I send an update to a piece?

Of course! Just let me know which piece you want to use and I’ll update on my end

Can I send another piece on later?

Of course that’s not a problem!

Ah I can’t get this done before the deadline - it’s almost ready!!! I need another day!!!!

Contact me, either through the submitting email over via my Tumblr or Twitter DMs or just emailing the email address. There is extra time scheduled as an extension for anyone who needs it with no questions asked to why it is needed. Just get in contact, I'll put you name on the Extension List and that extra time is yours. Once all names come in (or the deadline is reached) I will finish up my work and get the zine out. I will not be sending out a further reminder (because I’ll forget sorry 😅).

Why don’t you make the Extension List time public?

Because I can’t finish up the Zine if extra stuff keeps coming in at the last second - I get jittery enough with final deadlines so this is how I manage my stress

More Entrapdak Zines??

Sure why not? If the community still wants them I’ll keep compiling them ever three or so months. I’ve seen what us nerds can do!

Where can I find the finished Zine?

All finished Zines are all hosted on a shared Google Drive free folder -> https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1My_hDY8NmOWV7v6z0sYi0TSvxv07WowX

Oh you made it to the end of this Wall of Text…someone actually read all of this? I mean it’s mostly the same as the last two times… uh here’s a picture of my Son Smudge because I should really pay my Cat Tax with toe beans:

#spop #entrapdak #entrapta #hordak #shera #zine #fanzine #fandom event #upcoming event #free zine #free fanzine #fanfic #fanart #cat tax

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seldnei · 4 months

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Taking stock of the writing: 2023

For any new followers: this is my annual post about my writing in the past year. This is purely for my own mental health–the tag says “seldnei is tired of feeling like a slacker” for a reason. Please feel free to skip.

So what did I accomplish in 2023?

Well, it was a helluva year, again. We’ve acquired another teenager, with all that entails, which is a good thing overall but definitely added some chaos. My boss retired earlier than expected, so day job went sideways for a while. My cousin died, which was entirely unexpected. My father died, which was both more and less unexpected. Also the eldest BFF’s mom died, which was not traumatic for me, per se, but being able to spend a week with him was, like acquiring Q, a good thing surrounded by chaos. Oh, and Z got his ADHD diagnosis, which has triggered some interesting realizations about the assumed neurotypicality of everyone in the household. We are, in fact, that family who said, “But that can’t be a ‘disorder’; everyone is like that, right?”

I am exhausted, and my brain feels not only full but occasionally like it’s eating itself with self-analysis.

BUT. I am here. And I wrote things.

Stories/Poems/Etc.

Finished the second Exorcist story, and decided it did need to be mashed up with the first one. I dunno, it’s still cuter than I like.

Did the requested rewrite on the Teachout camel story, and got rejected again (I vaguely recall this as another rewrite request, but I could be wrong and can’t be arsed to dig through my email right now). I kind of think this editor and I have fundamentally different ideas as to what these stories are. Keep this in mind as I get into future plans, btw, as it was a contributing factor.

Wrote some more TMA fanfic.

“And the Forest Sings of Secrets and the Dead” for FUCKIT, which prompted the best review of all time from Q: “What the fuck, Laura?”

“The Modern Eurydice: with Leto in the Mountains of Delos,” also for FUCKIT, which is probably my favorite thing I wrote this year. I really hope there are more modern Eurydice stories somewhere in my head, because I loved writing this one and the first one.

Poetry:

“Elpis at the Farmer’s market” for FUCKIT

“4am, April 2023,” also for FUCKIT, the poem my husband wants to frame and put on the wall

Random bits and bobs in my notebook

I wrote three podcast scripts because I really want to make a podcast.

Script one is a monologue type thing, continuing my explorations of ghosts and terrible mothers.

Scripts two and three are the first two episodes of a short series that adapts the not!Tempest/not!Mosquito Coast/not!Island of Dr Moreau thing I’ve been fucking around with for like four years now. I think three more scripts and I’ll have the series completed, and then I can turn my attention to things like casting and recording and editing and hosting and posting and dear lord what the fuck.

I started a bunch of other things:

The baseball/ghost romance novella, where I am trying out iterative outlining.

Some abortive attempts to find my way into my post-apocalypse cunning folk thing

A start and some notes for a gothic horror story that I probably will get back to in a while (watch this space in, like, three years)

Other Stuff

“An Oral History: The Dead Queen at 1223 Murchison Row” sold and came out in Artifice & Craft.

I created my author website, which I’m still very pleased with. Also did some blogging, but not as much as I would have liked. Still, not sure when I had time?

Submitted things sporadically.

Kept up my morning writing routine, though it did have some disruptions here and there and the time got a little compressed. But the biggest thing, I think, is that I kept going. There was a lot of stuff going on in my life this year, and I wrote through it all.

Novel and Goals for 2024

Okay, this is where we get into the stuff that makes me nervous.

So the novel is on a second round of reading at a publisher. This is taking forever, but the publisher has also posted periodically that they’re still working their way through subs, and frankly, I am entirely willing to let them do their thing because, as I said last year, I think this might be the absolute worst time to try and find an agent or publisher. This is one of like two sparks of interest I have gotten for a book that a professional editor says is very good, so … yeah, we will let that lie. Additionally, I’ve been reading some stuff from established trad authors who are also having issues selling things, and I’m like … uuuggghhh.

Bearing that in mind … I’m going to start looking at and dipping my toe into self-publishing this year. Guys, I am so tired of thinking about what an editor might or might not find appealing enough to publish; I want to write my weird little stories and have people read them. I don’t even care if it’s just my friends and I only sell, like, three copies of anything. I have long since resigned myself to never being a full-time writer, so while extra cash would be nice, it’s not something I desperately need. (That said, I am going to be selling my work because it’s work, so. But I have thoughts about discount codes and freebies, so we’ll see how it goes.) I’d like to be able to hire an editor, commission covers, that kind of thing, though, so I’m also thinking about starting a Patreon to help fund those aspects of it, with rewards and all that good stuff.

So I can publish the novellas and short story collections, and if the publisher passes on my manuscript, I can publish the Teachout book and start writing the second one.

This is the scary part, though. Am I too scattered to make something like this work? What if no one has any interest? What about pirates (both cyber and sailor)? Will I annoy people with self-promo? Will people in my circle think less of me? (Do I care about the people who would think less of me for doing this?) How will this affect my other writing? OH GOD HOW DOES THIS AFFECT MY TAXES?!

I think I can do it. I might ask y’all for cheerleading here and there. I have a planner and Mr. Seldnei.

Every time I think about it and get scared, I think second Teachout book no matter what happens and I’m like … yeah. Yeah, I think I need to at least try.

So, goals for 2024:

FUCKIT subs

finish this baseball thing

Podcast

Patreon (?)

Self-publishing

AAAAAAAAAAA.

#seldnei writes things #seldnei is tired of feeling like a slacker #state of the writing #if i post it on social media i have to do it #encouragement welcome #cw: death

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