#ok this is terrible but whatever

[hoechlin]

TYLER HOECHLIN as Glen McReynolds in EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! (2016)

#tyler hoechlin #hoechlinedit #holesrus #homoinitiative #everybody wants some #randomly hopping out of retirement for a sec #ok bye #these are terrible but whatever #not bad for a girl with no talent!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Q's Relevance and Parallels to Double Black

I had a sudden brainwave of thoughts (read: I only got three hours of sleep last night) and needed to share. I've thought this for awhile but I really think Q will be returning to the series at some point.

First of all, there's just too much ambiguity there and I want to know more about Q in general. What happened to Q to spawn an ability like that? Why does Dazai speak about them like they're the devil incarnate? What was the incident that led to so many Mafia deaths in an effort to lock Q up? Is there any significance to Q's unusual eyes (remember that most characters tend to have fairly normal eyes, and this is a series where the eyes carry symbolic weight)? What's with Q being strung up in this position that is eerily similar to a crucifixion, shortly before Steinbeck has a conversation about God existing but not loving them?

There's a lot there. I've spoken about this before in the meta I did about Dazai's change in approach after the Q chapter, which was genuinely an unexpected event he did not anticipate. But there's something fascinating about the way Chuuya reacts to Q as well. In fact, both Dazai and Chuuya are almost uncharacteristically murderous towards this kid, and that's real interesting, seeing as many aspects of Q mirror aspects of their younger selves.

Now I understand you might be thinking: uncharacteristically murderous? Story, they have both literally killed many, many people before. Yes, but context is important here.

Dazai doesn't have strong violent urges - not even in the Mafia, where he was considered terrifying more so due to his apathy in killing than anything. I can't remember a scene where Dazai is described as radiating bloodlust like Kyouka or Mori. Dazai is scary because of his indifferent hollowness at his worst points. Odasaku was described similarly in Untold Origins - there was no real desire to kill, just a listless cold follow-through. Dazai's sadistic methods, brought up by Higuchi in Chapter 25, are acknowledged as a means to an end, a method, not something done out of any strong desire or enjoyment. So when Dazai makes death threats or appears visibly angered - that's something worth taking note of. For him to make a promise to Q to pluck out their heart - holy shit. That is not typical Dazai behaviour. He doesn't even make that kind of threat towards Fyodor. Whatever happened in the past clearly shook him, enough for this moment to change his approach in the series and send him back to using darker methods again.

As for Chuuya, while he has and does kill quite readily, this is mostly in the heat of a fight. For him to give the go-ahead for murdering an unconscious child - it's unusually cold-blooded for him, and I can't think of another instance where he's down with lethal intent outside of combat and direct orders. I've seen some people talk about his reaction to Dazai suggesting he'll kill Q as proof that he's gotten darker since we saw him last in Stormbringer, from someone who would plead for the lives of the Sheep to be spared ("They're just kids") to being ready and willing to kill a defenseless child. While I think it's likely true that he's gone darker since that point - Chuuya appears to be more cynical in the present as well as having darker eyes with a smaller central pinprick of light than in Fifteen and Stormbringer - that's not the only thing going on here.

Thing is, Chuuya has always been fairly ruthless. He’s a very vengeance oriented character, right down to his fighting style (rebounding attacks and bullets). Hurt him or someone he cares about and he hurts back - and that threat will be destroyed. Parallel to this is how he is seemingly unable to turn his back on people who have helped him. Help him and he will remain loyal and protective even if that person goes on to stab him in the back. He has a very “give and take” mentality. Chuuya operates on the reciprocity principle.

So, about Q, here’s the thing: Q is a part of the Mafia, that's true. But Q has never helped them, only hurt indiscriminately. Mafia philosophy says “protect your own and follow the boss' wishes no matter what”. But Chuuya’s philosophy is saying “neutralize the threat”. And interestingly, Chuuya’s philosophy won here. If Dazai had've killed Q, Chuuya would’ve defied Mori’s orders in favour of his own judgement, which is extra intriguing because it emphasizes Chuuya’s loyalty to the people within the Mafia, not the Mafia as an organization itself. This is in full contrast to people like Tachihara and Hirotsu, who prioritize the organization and orders above all.

And about Q being a child: I don’t think this is such a big change in his character if I'm being honest. Chuuya knows full well how dangerous a child can be - he was that dangerous child. People underestimated him as a teenager and paid for it dearly; do you really think he'd make that same mistake? He also has a very warped view on the responsibilities and ways a child should be treated… while I do believe he probably is protective of those younger than him, he also equally understands that a child can be just as much of a threat as anyone else. For Chuuya, it’s always a matter of what wins out: the person or the threat? In this case, it was the latter.

The thing is, it's interesting the way they react when you look at the way Q eerily parallels aspects of their younger selves - as well as some things that carry over to the present.

Dazai and Q share central themes of control.

Q's mind control ability is actually referenced by Dazai as being essentially the worst kind of ability there is, and I know I've mentioned before how he seems to react poorly to those people who attempt to mentally control others, placing them on a heightened level of danger (think Fyodor, Mori). I don't think I need to get into Dazai's control freak tendencies - and what's more, after Q's introduction, after he says that mind control is the worst kind of ability there is - he ramps up his masterminding and enacts as much control as he can over the proceedings of the events that follow. Q's ability is interesting in the sense that it allows them control over others, implying Q came from a background of little control. I have also hypothesized that Dazai, with his need for situational control, similarly came from a background of little control. It's also likely they both were hurt by others - Q's ability turns any pain inflicted on them back around, giving them a way to fight back, while Dazai can level the playing field of any unfair advantages by nullifying abilities.

Q's small segment in Fifteen is also interesting: they're near completely zoned out, just staring off into the distance without responding to their environment until Dazai gets directly in their face. Then Q suddenly flips a switch and becomes all cheerful and playful. It reminds me of young Dazai's quick switches between faux cheerfulness and emptiness earlier in that same book.

They also both have quite interesting relations to pain. Q wonders why cruel things always hurt them, but Q makes this a foregone conclusion by purposely arranging others to hurt them so they have an excuse to hurt those people back. Q's pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: they hate it, but the only means of control they know in interactions with others requires it. Dazai similarly hates pain - his pain loop, however, is more emotional than physical. Dazai feels isolated and alienated from others, but his attempts to exert control require him to distance himself and rely on his mind over all else. He also leans into his inhuman side when it becomes apparent pain is unavoidable (I think often of his reactions throughout Dark Era to Ango's betrayal) - again, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. He will not find anything. He will continue to be separate from humanity if this cycle continues. That was why it was imperative that Odasaku break him out of it. Self-sabotage behaviours and unhealthy cycles, physical and emotional, are apparent with these two.

For bonus points: both have injured right arms.

On a more superficial level too, Q and Dazai both have "creepy child" energy, with emphasis on the child part - they are both legitimately disturbing at times but also have moments where they show childlike interest and behaviour. (I encourage people to check out Q's mayoi cards for this - I know it's not super canon or anything but it emphasizes their "kiddishness".)

Also I'm unsure if this is significant, but there's this detail too:

Q has a very unusual right eye with a star in the center. The right eye is also the one Dazai kept covered in the Mafia. Notably also, Q's right eye is frequently obscured by their hair in key scenes.

...Does it mean something? I have no idea. But it's potentially interesting so I thought I'd add it.

Meanwhile, Chuuya and Q share themes of loss of control.

For Q, this is quite obvious. They are literally locked up; imprisoned within the Mafia and unable to exert control over their circumstances. For Chuuya, it's a little more subtle but still present, I believe: I invite people to look at his character song and mayoi (particularly aquarium) for direct references to feelings of being trapped. However, looking at Fifteen and Stormbringer, there are a few mentions of freedom that are intriguing in relation to Chuuya's character. In Fifteen, both Dazai and Shirase mention Chuuya's "freedom"... but this is almost a mockery of what's really going on. A party to celebrate Chuuya's freedom is really an elaborate set up for a trap. Shirase telling Chuuya that he should have the freedom to act on his own wishes is really a cover up for a betrayal. In both instances, Chuuya's freedom is a lie. Stormbringer, at the very least, instates a sense of agency where he at least has the freedom to make choices about his own actions - that's the whole point of his hat; it's a symbol of autonomy (also anti-mind control; more on that in a bit). However, Stormbringer also systematically strips away the start of any alternate path Chuuya could've taken - he cannot be the child he was, he never got to hear the pitch on living in the light. He feels genuine gratitude towards those in the Mafia - they have his back, which is more than he could say before, but at the same time, the Mafia is kind of the last option available there if he wants not to be alone... and Chuuya does not want to be alone. (Seriously. His character song. Please look at it. Also Stormbringer.)

Now, onto their abilities, which also parallel in the sense that they are both used to "get back" at people. Chuuya rebounds attacks - bullets shot at him ricochet back at the people who fired, and Q hurts people who hurt them. There's a very reciprocal relation to the way they use their abilities, and it is absolutely to induce fear and intimidation in others, but there's a key difference. Namely, Chuuya fights only against enemies or people who strike first. Q, on the other hand, intentionally makes "enemies" out of even innocent bystanders just to have a reason to hurt them back. A lot of this is due to Q's misanthropic nature - I doubt Q has ever had a positive bond with another person, and so Q sees the whole world as their enemy - a world which, to them, does not want them in it. Chuuya, on the other hand, has had people who care about him, and he cares about them in turn. He's a bit jaded but he doesn't hate humanity, far from it.

In that sense, Q parallels Verlaine in a sense, right down to being kept in a special secret room in the Mafia, hehe. Though again, there's differences. Verlaine chooses to stay in that room, first of all, while Q doesn't have a choice. Verlaine's angst is internal identity based while Q's is more external situation based. In response to their pain, Verlaine chooses to relinquish control of himself (Brutalization), and Q chooses to have everyone else lose control of themselves (Dogra Magra). Verlaine says "look at how monstrous I am and how I hate and hurt because of it" and Q says "look at how monstrous you all are and how I hate and hurt because of it".

Chuuya is not so far on either extreme that he emulates this - but he could've ended up like Verlaine, and he admits it in Stormbringer. He could've maybe ended up something like Q too, if he'd remained trapped as a lab rat. But see here's the key with Chuuya: his hat makes it so the choice to lose control of himself is his alone, and moreover, that losing control doesn't mean he goes out of control. He trusts that he can lose control for a bit, place it in someone else's hands for awhile before it goes too far. Trusts that the choice to lose himself will be followed by the keeping of a promise to bring him back to himself. Chuuya has bonds, and that's the key difference.

But uh. Going back to parallels... about the scene where Q gets tortured... and the scene where Chuuya gets tortured...

Is this significant...?

...is... is this...

...

.............

Um. I may be delusional. But. Well. *gestures at all of this*

So, where does this leave us? Well, we have Dazai, who sees a manipulative, mind-controlling kid that he calls a "walking disaster", and we have Chuuya, who sees a dangerous ability user that is too big of a potential threat to not be dealt with, so the two decide the best course of action is to kill them about it. The reason Dazai did not follow through is likely a mix of his stated reason (the Mafia cannot harm Dazai so long as he is needed to stop Q), and probably also that he isn't really supposed to be directly killing anymore.

Nice, guys. Really clear and consciously held self-concepts you got there.

Considering everything, it's maddening that all we have on the dynamic between these three is: Q joins in Fifteen at the same time as the other two and is assigned to Dazai since he can stop their ability. Mori doesn't know what it is at that point but assumes whatever it is will be manageable because Dazai can just nullify it. It... clearly wasn't.

I feel like there has to be something here and that we're going to be coming back to it. Q, the old Boss, how Mori got so close as an underground physician in such a short time... there's so much about the Mafia we don't know so I'm assuming the story will shift to focus on these points again... someday. Hopefully.

#i have even more thoughts unwritten if you can believe it but seeing as it is 4 am i should probably stop. also this is too long. #but yeah i frequently think about how horrified and genuinely spiteful dazai is with q like... what happened??? #ok just had an awful thought: what if whatever happened with q inspired dazai's brutal treatment of akutagawa #...honestly maybe. it's actually a possibility if something went terribly wrong before. #this... isn't the meta i was supposed to be writing or even started to write... oh well #enjoy? #is this even coherent? #bsd #bsd meta #bsd q #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #skk #bsd fifteen #bsd stormbringer #storyrambles

[sorrelpaws]

the codependency is mutual btw pr*ship dni

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #i realize i draw a lot of angry morty pathetic rick so idk #not exactly an angry rick he just doesnt know how to deal with any complex emotions #hes like ok. bring it in buddy. and then considers his job done #im a sucker for mortys inevitable emotional outburst and like. obvs i want him to be angry and whateva #but then hed be like aw rick im sorry for yelling. aw man this sucks im kinda terrible for this. even tho hes completely justified #UGHHHHH THEYRE SO FUCKED UPPPPPPPP I HATE THEMMEMMMMMMM #added tha dni bcs god knows i cant draw these two hugging or whatever without a certain group of ppl misinterpreting it

[suffarustuffaru]

hi i made a tier list of how homophobic rezero characters are

hello in the spirit of valentine's day and the very welcoming community here on rezero tumblr i decided to make this with the help of my lovely mutuals.

#anyway heres some fun little explanations if youd like to read: #otto has. so much internalized shit going on i dont even know where to begin. not as severe as like subaru fr and def not in the same way a #whatevers happening with ferris but like by the time u get to arc 8 hes a total shitshow LJSLDKF #like ottos. transphobic. canonically. with natsumi schwartz. and then hes def got More going on bc his attachment style is soo.... #wilhelm and heinkel i think would def be homophobic outside of reinhard/reinhard related things but its funnier to describe it like that ok #and either way the main target of their homophobia is gonna be reinhard LMAO #oni elders suck ok. theyd all be homophobic #rams got a strong case of comphet rn but when she doesnt have comphet shes chillin with subarus gf and having wlw mlm hostility with subaru #and otto. the entire judges your taste tier is all insane teen girls or frufoo and patrasche (who DEFINITELY judge otto and subarus taste) #frufoo patrasche are like that one reddit post about that one guys dog being homophobic after seeing their owner get topped in gay sex #also als in that tier bc al. #alcor is technically subaru but he gets to be a tier lower than subaru bc. hes also not technically subaru its very complicated but #at least he doesnt have the entire boy drama subaru has LSJDF #reids iconic line is the ones where he calls julisuba boyfriends u know. its extremely iconic. #a dear mutual of mine has informed me tivey is in lol ok while his triplet siblings wouldnt know what being gay is which LKJDSLFSD thats #fucking funny i had to do it #id argue satella is in lol ok bc she lets subaru do almost anything ok. this includes being terribly into men. she knows shes got his heart #either way. and also elsa dont care unless it affects how ur guts taste #rems reaction is gonna be lol ok unless its subaru coming out to her. then shes gonna have some Mixed Feelings #rezero #re:zero #i forgot to add but u could def argue garf knows what being gay is bc his two older brothers are just Like That #but also neither of his brothers would be caught dead explaining what being gay is to him

[2dieavirgin]

okay please hello i haven't seen anyone talk about this article which is so funny and my favorite thing ever ermm happy pride month i guess

#house md #emi text #to be honest chase is a lesbian TO ME but he's a terrible one at that. and i feel whatever him and cameron had going on is just like the #messiest lesbian relationship to ever exist. lets fuck. no nevermind i was high. i changed my mind lets fuck again. ok no we gotta stop. #hey i think im in love with you. bummer. hey sure im in love with you too i think i mean i guess. lets get married. no nevermind. no ok yes #we are so happily married i love you even tho this is so boring kinda. you have your dead husbands sperm frozen. YOU KILLED A MAN? #but i gotta say he's like schrodingers queer. hes gay hes a lesbian hes straight hes trans IDC i love all of it

[nocaptainonthisship]

The Festive Seasoning

Advent 2023

Haladriel (M)

Galadriel Noldor is a talented chef, with a cowboy-cute boyfriend who drives her up the wall.

Halbrand Mairon is a cutthroat TV producer, with a small-town pretty girlfriend who makes him a little crazy.

Celeborn Sindar is a dedicated data reconfiguration specialist, with an arrestingly gorgeous girlfriend who makes his life hell.

Shelob Webb is a gifted textile artist, with a cunningly-charming boyfriend, who makes her question everything- but most of all herself.

Or: a slanted Hallmark AU where one person’s villain is another’s hero.

#haladriel #haladriel fic #saurondriel fic #my fic #ok so ive been thinking. horrifying i know but i cant help it. #anywayyy. the bird site is getting an updated calendar graphic everday but that seems unweildy for tumblr. #im just going to reblog this every day after ive updated #and as a special little whatever for my little tumblr boos i will be sharing something stupid and special in the tags just for you #so todays fun fact is: #adar was originally going to be a MUCH more terrible person. like her was gunning for real life Bad Dude status. #i dialed it back a TON and now in my head he is played by noel fielding. #no shade to our friend joseph mawle who is wonderful and made adar so special. #but read this and youll see what i mean. #until tomorrow friends!

[sonknuxadow]

sorry but i really really do Not like the ideas people have of sonic actually liking amy back and being too shy to admit it. or that sonic SHOULD agree to be amys boyfriend because amy "deserves it after waiting for so long" and by not doing that sonic is mean or immature or leading her on. or that yeah sonic isnt interested Now but they Will get married as adults. or whatever people go around saying.

for the entire time amy was actually open about her crush and trying to get sonic to date her he would almost always either outright reject her or just not say anything but still obviously be uncomfortable or annoyed by it. to say that he actually has always liked her or that he Should like her just feels like youre saying his feelings of not being interested in amy or romance in general arent valid and are a problem that needs to be fixed. that he MUST be with amy just because she likes him and he needs to get over any discomfort he has with the idea because he doesnt have a choice. its like people are so obsessed with shipping that theyre ignoring sonics feelings or at the very least prioritizing amys over his . Hello can anyone hear me

#also people getting mad at sonic for not wanting to be in a serious committed relationship . hes 15 ????? #and sonic not wanting a romantic relationship still wouldnt be a problem even if he was an adult to be clear #its just especially weird and unrealistic to expect a teenager to ''settle down'' or whatever #expecting it from amy is a bit strange too considering shes even younger than sonic . but Whatever #sorry for the long rant. every day i wake up and see terrible takes about sonic and amy and what their relationship is/should be like #the ideal resolution to the whole crush thing isnt sonic eventually liking her back #its sonic never liking her that way but amy being ok with that and accepting that and theyre still best friends #that is what would be best for them as characters i think #mandatory disclaimer that i love amy #because ive seen some people act like hating so//namy or sh//adamy or whatever other amy ship #and liking amy as a character are mutually exclusive opinions. which is annoying and i dont want people assuming i hate amy #okay to reblog by the way but not if youre going to try to argue with me becuase i dont feel like arguing about this lmao

[spider-man-2o99]

ok i’m still On Break do not take this post as a sign that i’m like. Actively Tumblring again yet because i’m still not, 4 the most part, but i have had my ear to the ground for special interest things, of fuckign course, of course, bcuz i’m me, and i. just. i am .i’m so fucking sorry to all the new SM2099 comic fans who are only just now realizing just now how dire the straits are, here, LMAO. it has been this way for Years. earnestly and from the bottom of my heart i love spider-man 2099 so much and also nobody on the goddamn planet Cares About Him At All or can even fucking write him half-decently unless every single celestial bodie in the fucking milky way galaxy comes into perfect fucking syzygy, i think, i think, i think. why did u think we (me) had a psychotic episode after that fuckin movie dropped. fucksake. lord above. because it’s all always “ohhh being yourSELF and telling your OWN story your OWN way” until you Look A Certain Way and ARE A Certain Way and Have Symptoms That Look Frightening and Don’t Move Around Like ‘Normal’ People Should Move, fuckin’ freaky-ass creature beast-thing, and so on and so on and so on, Christ all-fuckin’-mighty. gets tiring. but. anywaygs.

it is far easier to be destructive, than constructive. so. ahem. sorry. refocusing. it seems quite simply that just yet another goddamn story missed the point that 90s future spider-man is a story about very plainly and simply loving each other as people. it’s a story about a severely depressed, miserable, cynical little man who finds new reasons to live in every kind person he meets, and there is an open earnesty to that, if nothing else, that no movie can take away 30 years later. anybody can decide to try and be a better person than the one they were yesterday, and that is goddamn important. to portray anything otherwise was an unfathomably cruel decision, on sony’s part, and as soon as we got trailer evidence that they were leaning into his more “intimidating” features back in ~dec. 2021, i.. pretty much Knew it was what they were gonna be doing with him. why wouldn’t they? i mean. who actually even cares about this obscure nobody, right? c-listers are the tried-and-true adaptational chameleons, anyways; they sure suckered in dumbasses like me, who still took blind hope in hook line and sinker, thinking he’d be important to the film, or at the very least portrayed sympathetically to his 30 years of established comic history as a character who is consciously aware that he is an adult survivor of fucking child abuse. but. c’est la fucking vie, i guess.

#talking tag #atsv #spider-man 2099 #i predicted All Of This and i am SO TIRED OF BEING RIGHT THAT I WANT TO THROW MYSELF IN2 THE SUN ABT IT :)))) #i WANTED to be wrong. /CHRIST/ i wanted to be wrong so goddamn bad #articulation isnt at its peak rn. how do i even- /bridge/ the breadth of this gap. wwoof man like. just. #i just. did yall think i started writing the dissection fic with extreme violation + dehumanization themes Just Outta Nowhere?? y/k??? #y’KNOW. haha. i am Intimately Aware firsthand with how years of it without reprieve shapes a brain over time. and. writing helps. #hhahaha. lord. id just go back 2 how i was Raised if i wanted 2 Constantly Hear so many ppl talkin abt how much they want evry Like-Me dead #(not-- not. not Like That. not in the nasty-ass too-online Way or whatever disgusting Assumptions that could Imply. im just a basket case.) #chroist. #not even . not even getting into the whole ‘also comic sm2099 is canonically staunchly anti-cop yet movieboy is weirdly fashy’ Thing. #i already Have a migraine im NOT getting into that right now #(holding back tears) wwelp looks like these next Seven Years Of Terrible Public Perception r gonna b long and suck so bad :)) #ok goodbye again now im going back to frolicking morosely in the Fields . be safe drink some water be kind to urself and others. mwah.

[ferncloud]

hmm i wonder if tumblr user ferncloud likes ferncloud...

/.\ MAYBE...

#LOL #when i first got this username in 2014 i liked her just fine but in a sort of whatever way #over the years ive grown quite attached HAHAHA i love her shes so kitty of all time #her mother is killed horrifically and left outside her home & she immediately offers herself to lead the dogs which is a near death sentenc #& weeks later she participates in a massive battle to the death with bloodclan... these events r often credited as traumatic experiences #explaining ashfurs terrible life choices but ferncloud went thru the same thangs. & then dustpelt.... was an adult hovering over her through #out all of this. & then she just wants to have kittens & if were reading into it maybe she wants to raise kittens the way she wishes she was #raised but many of her kittens die early or make it to adulthood but die b4 her. & on top of just what we know about her life shes hated by #thousands of readers for being a woman who wants to raise kids. & SHES KILLED CUZ SHES SO HATED... #i notice even now ferncloud is still reduced to motherhood by a lot of ppl #& thats ok its not that deep shes a bg character its nobodys job to think about everything. but she can be so personal & special & emo too #she is to me 💗 im proud to be a ferncloud. if ferncloud has 0 fans it cuz i died 😁 #Oh i also have the handdrawn comic page from a shadow in riverclan by james that has ferncloud blushing at feathertail LOL #i am sooooooooo sorry for this miles long tags rant #ask

[saturnisfallingdown]

lydia and arthur.

[ID: A gif of a calico cat biting into a pillow and thrashing it around violently. End ID]

#lucids #OPENED UP MY LYAR PLAYLIST AGAIN . TERRIBLE MISTAKE #ook. ooh ok okok. #lol. WHATEVER !!! #arthur loves her so much btw. and post canon lydia finally gets to live her life with him without the constant guilt or fear #they had to wait for each other but it ends up being so worth it in the end #they finally get to live in the moment. #lydia lost herself in the expansive web of dreams and timelines #arthur was just overcome with worry and grief for so long he lost sight of anything else #and finally. after it all. after quinn is safe and lydia sees it with her own two eyes. they get to start again #MIDDLE AGED M/F MARRIED COUPLE INSANITY !!!!!!!

[byanyan]

just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.

thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜

#so sick of this dude I want to feel my normal kind of bad. this new kind of bad is so hard to calm down & relax & not think with adjgksh #I am constantly antsy & feeling this awful existential dread & I haven't been able to be alone without spiralling #it's terrible. that brief period of feeling lighter yesterday did not last as long as I would have liked lmaodhfjsh #anyway. just wanted to make a note. I'll probably add smth about it to my pinned whenever I can crawl onto my laptop too tbh #but yeah. think it's gonna be rough for quite a while so idk idk I just want to feel a little more free #to do whatever I'm feeling the most around here (which should always be the case I know but I pressure myself ok I can't help it) #I need to stop typing bc I'll just keep rambling... brain won't shut up adjgksh #love u guys ok ty 💜 #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[ftm-megamind]

look Martin, you said it.

specs (1992) gifset for specs staruday!!!!

[gif description::

a gifset of specs from the 1992 version of newsies.

in the first gif, specs takes his hat off as a girl walks by, before putting it back on and hawking a headline;

in the second one, he has his hat off and looks around while standing in line for some bread from the nuns;

in the third, during the "we need a good assassination (...)" part of carrying the banner, he throws a punch, does a hip thrust for "assassination," shakes his fists for "earthquake," and shields his eyes while stumbling for "war;"

in the fourth gif, he does a spin on a table before squatting on it;

in the fifth, as carrying the banner ends, he pumps his fist in the air while shouting;

in the sixth, he points at the headline above, looking startled;

in the seventh gif, specs twirls around and then does a hip thrust while holding his hands behind his head;

in the eighth, he sings the "tomorrow they may wrap fishes in it (...)" part of king of new york, looking down for a split second. at the end, he jumps off the table which he was standing at;

in the ninth gif, he tells snyder that the name kelly is unusual for those parts, shrugging lightly;

in the tenth, as jack says that newsies sell papes, specs nods and agrees;

in the eleventh, as jack pretends to throw a punch at specs' face, specs plays along and bends his back in pain;

in the twelfth and final gif, specs is walking through the gate, his arm wrapped around bumlets' shoulder.

end gd]

#newsies #newsies 1992 #92sies #specs #newsies specs #specs saturday #newsies gifs #gifing him was actually terrible because i kept thinking i actually captured some other white boy with a hat and glasses instead of specs #ok Martin heres the question #is tomorrow skittery sunday or spot sunday? #alternatively suggest whatever else of course #also. fanart for specs saturday later? more likely than you think

[shibuiking]

I found you via tumblrs orbit system and you sounded kinda nervous about your ocs, so I’m gonna appear in your askbox and shout “yaaaay ocs!”

a idk if its nervousness per se and more just a combo of hope tht ppl will like+care abt them and me being awkward/not knowing what to say (but 40k ppl have been super nice ive never actually had ppl care abt my ocs before outside of my close friends ToT and they arent into 40k)

anyway. um yeah. ty tho 🥺 i rly appreciate it

#i also never make oc lore so this is a first for me so its also 'if i get any lore stuff wrong im killing myself' and thats wjhy i read #so many books beforehand lmfao #anyway. #admech is fun bt im a hardcore undead fan and my sona has been a zombie for like ~10yrs now and yea i guess im otherkin as well or whatever #so necrons jst have way more to chew on for me past just enjoying the aesthetics and broad philosophy #also mr nate crowley liked one of my tweets where i was gushing over tdk again and wht undeath means as a concept which was Insane Feeling #since i hadnt actually namedropped the book title or anything #comrade crowley understands the power of change and compassion in death #....................anyway #some of those tomb kings minis tempt me terribly #this is wildly offtopic #nedsha is my babyu its like showing baby photos ok if ppl dont like him ill blow the building up or whatever #i did make and convert one friend into 40k as well tho thats been fun #arv if ur reading this im talking abt u #sorry this is mad long i always think of a million things to say afterwards and i have an extension tht lets me add tags without- #editing the post

[soullessjack]

i think perhaps one of the most evil things supernatural ever did was establish involuntary teleportation as a literal flight response for jack when they’re extremely distressed and then show his location flitting around the fucking globe on sam’s gps after he accidentally blew mary to kingdom come

#spn #supernatural #more car thoughts sorry #I promise I’ll talk more about the con or whatever if y’all want me to #actually I should get some asks in here . I am booorrreeedd and car ridden for another hour and fifty-eight #and on 19% battery without a source of charging #whatevzzzzz it’s okay #jack kline #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #tfw2.0 #mary winchester #14x18 #spn 14x18 #absence #truly sick and twisted and terrible and horrible #miss my guy so bad miss my silly guy #having severe meow meow withdrawals I think #ok 17% byyeeee

[baura-bear]

Y’all know how not ok I will be when we get the return announcement for uksies

#or even just any news about anything #like #hello??? #instant coma #remembering how terrible my mental health was last winter and newsies was the only thing getting me through #and now I don’t have that #and I sure am scared #I’ll be ok dw #I just can’t wait to hear updates on whatever comes next #uksies #newsies uk

[werewolf-apologist]

maybe i am being a huge bitch and terrible and unfair ????? perhaps that’s the problem ???? and that is likely. however the council (my two best friends and my mom) have concurred that i should actually be angrier and meaner so i think im doing my best atm

#kinda joke but actually i don’t know what to do and i am sooooo angry it i don’t think it’s justified but also isn’t it ? isn’t it ? #like i may have fucked up the very serious convo that we had earlier but also i’m so mad. and i said that. and she heard me I THOUGHT #so i thought it was going to get taken care of but apparently not #like ok. don’t pay rent just stay here 5/7 nights a week and stop by anytime and don’t make any moves to change or fix the position you’re #in like whatever atp. maybe i’d be a better friend if i was more understanding and ive been telling myself that for weeks but also wtf #i know things are terrible for her so i should be nicer and more understanding but i’ve been as nice and understanding as i can be for three #months now and nothings changed she not even interested in changing things so at what point is it real life consequences #of im mad and you have to pay rent ffs #idk. i should apologize for even asking that of her ig. i know things are super hard for her rn. but things are also hard for me rn #in different less extreme ways but still. idk