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youranxiousnerd · 3 years

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Spring Break Thoughts

bc i want to get stuck in an airport and break into first class

spoilers below

EJ DOING THE INTRO

the most...profound intro?

“maybe it’s really about other people” looks at gina

i have jumped on the portwell train

when i first saw they were doing zoom backgrounds i was not on board, but they’ve grown on me carlos’ sucks

miss jenn and the zoom backgrounds

NI NI HEL LO

nini didn’t you get cut?

you know miss jenn they could get together out side of school (at least the kids who are here)

olivia is so pretty

aww carlos called miss jenn his madrina

HA I KNEW IT OF COURSE CARLOS INVITED SEB

seblos tension, ill get to that later

they’re so passive aggressive guys i love it

ASH AND EJ

CASWELL COUSINS YESSS

“You guys are watching like, old, old movies”

“This is why we’re soulmates” the redyln goal has been reached bye

this...this is the only line they get?

miss jenn has obviously not gotten the memo

three weeks and you havent blocked act two

“not it”

of course sebby is the last one to leave

“bye” awww miss jenn

GINA THAT LITTLE GIG YESSSS

just one complement after another ej

AHHHH EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YESSSSS

he looks so good ej should do it more often

ej fell hard guys

jack in the background doing tik toks i cant

gina and signs

RICKY IN A BLANKET

ugh its lynne

i dont care enough to spell her name right

“just being a burrito here”

bitter ricky, i feel ya

“I’m sorry to hear that’s it over” *smiles*

nini you should have just posted a video

ope empty notebook

awww ej’s insta

gina and jack

thats it

“she changed her name” nina is literally her real name

the leg pull away

ricky and bedding is my new favorite ship besides therapy

“Your boy Jack”

when i first saw the promo for this nini scene i was worried it was gonna be another solo (shes had like 16)

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A RAINBOW HEART

my gay heart is bursting

nina really said “rainbows are awesome” this episode

and the necklace is off

guys i love improv scenes

it was so goood

soooo howie and kourt just get no closure after that killer song last week? no nothing?

BAHAHAHA KOURTNEY BREAKING UP

i love kourtney

sofia is so pretty

okay i dont ship jack and gina but they’re fun together, little chaos demons

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT AHHHH

“my friends, like, my castmates, they think it sucks what you did on opening night”

good talk, long overdo. nothing is solved by any means but little steps

the therapy line omfg

“HI, CUPCAKE”

“I’ll meet you in the pool” there is an ocean right behind you

“Don’t ask me”

“Ashlyn, Big Red, Miss. Jenn, Carlos”

the way seb’s face just DROPS when he mentions carlos

“Are you guys fighting” big red looked so happy omfg

“That would imply that we’re speaking”

“Who has time to talk when you’re busy posting selfies with random guys in a cabana”

guys i had to pause for five minutes because i was dying

jealous seb... where did you come from?

ALRIGHT IT IS TIME TO TALK ABOUT SEBLOS!!!!

first off, it seems the writers love to make major seblos things happen off screen. examples include there pinning and officially getting together

where... where did all this tension come from? it has been light the past two episodes then bam, everything they say to each other is bitter. since when is seb jealous? the writers have so many other conflicts to talk about and they choose jealous seb? off all thing?!?! im honestly kind of disappointed because there are so many other things to talk about from previous episodes and instead they choose this?!?!?! hopefully this isn’t the only thing that is addressed next week, it cant be. they better talk about the constant “no seb” because its an issue.

moral of the story is i hope the fight next episode isn’t about seb being jealous bc there is so much more to talk about

i am loving passive aggressive seb like i hope that doesn’t go away when their conflict is resolved bc it’s awesome

HERE are my thoughts on the zoom call

okay seb’s line about doing public makes sense with the full episode

everyone on the call is just like “wtf happened to my otp”

EJJJJ

EJJJJ I LOVE YOU

THE BEST EJ SCENE

“Hi Nini!” ejjjj

you have to watch the scene twice, one to watch nini and ashlyn and another for ej

EJ AND THE PUPPET THATS IT IM DONE

sassy gina i love her

guys i just love everybody

ASHLYN AND NINI I MISSED THIS DUO GAHHHHHH THEY’RE ADORABLE

ej is a child i love it

ricky i feel you with the songwriting

look at big red being best friend of the year now give him a plot line

i am under the impression jack recorded gina

SHIT THE CANDLE TO LAMP TRANSITION YESSSSS

i love transitions and that was it

matt is ripped

julia lester showed up this season. queen shit

she is perfect

YES BIG RED AND KOURTNEY DANCING I WANT MOREEEE

i am so confused with seb’s gloves

that has been bugging me for two days

carlos has more style then a hawaiian shirt and khakis

im in heaven the harmonies are soooo good

they are amazing they sound so good

you can hear all there voices

julia popped off

aint seen nothin is really good, i wasn’t sure about it at first but its grown. they sound so damn good the talent they hold. not the best song but its fun

the video actually looks better than i thought it would

“Wow” me too richard

jack is fun, i’d be okay if he comes back. he is a little chaos demon.

i like how the writers didn’t make them romantic (for once), hopefully gina got his number bc i would

i want to be stuck at an airport with jack

“let you go” is genius. so far the best original song this season. josh has been killing it lately. this is the ballad ricky deserves. lyrical genius. he sounds sooo good.

the one time i agree with lynne

EJ YOU CAMEEEEEE

OMFG THEY’RE ADORABLE

PORTWELLLLLLL BABY WHOOOP

HE IS GONNA TREAT YOU SO GOOD GINA

HE BROUGHT YOU FOOD AND TOOK YOUR BAG

GAHHHHHH

nOoOoOoOo thats it?!?! i cannot wait a week i refuse

i normally don’t talk about promos but episode 10 (im a sucker for sleepover episodes) is my most anticipated episode so we gonna do it.

for starters ricky has a guitar, so he might sing?

AWW THE SETS THEY ARE SO PRETTY

ooo lily is back?

blueprint?

ashlyn and ricky where have you been?!?!

seb and the girls yesss

since in a heartbeat is next episode seb probably leaves? i hope it is a private moment

oh please talk about your other issues pleaseee

“why did i never hear about this?” nina no, it was an accident alright?

gina and nini haven’t interacted this season and the first thing they do is fight.

lets hope there “beef” doesn’t take the a slot

maybe another seblos kiss?

did you know i love seblos

i have stocked up my tears for next week

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aricazorel · 3 years

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"You came back." "I promised, didn't I?" Prompt

Kaidan Alenko x Kori Reese; ME3, post- Citadel II (1465 words)

When the away party departed the shuttle after decommissioning yet another Cerberus base, Major Kaidan Alenko did not count on a personal visit by the Normandy’s XO. Yet there she stood in the docking bay, attempting to disguise her fidgeting with unnecessary fiddling with her Omni-tool. Lieutenant Commander Kora Reese might be able to fool some with her antics but not him. Kori was nervous and worried about something, and he was reasonably sure it had something to do with him.

With a nod to Shepard, the Major made his way over to Reese who stood next to one of the computer stations near the weapons modding table. She glanced up into his whiskey brown eyes and then quickly back at her omni-tool. Maybe nervous wasn't the correct word at all. Worried was but there was something else. Reese wasn't one to avoid eye contact especially with him unless…

Unless she was scared.

That thought set alarm bells off in the Specter’s mind as he came to a stop in front of her. What could have happened while he was on the away mission to cause her to be scared? And what did it have to do with him?

“Hey,” he said quietly, drawing her attention back to him.

“Hey,” she echoed as grey eyes met his again, her omni-tool still open, still running numbers on a simulation for a project she was no doubt working on. She always had multiple projects and sims running, hoping one of her ideas would prove viable enough with EDI’s help to use against the reapers or Cerberus.

Kaidan tilted his head slightly, all too familiar with her tendency to use it as a distraction as well. “What brings the Normandy XO down here? I thought Shepard told you to make sure not to scratch the paint.”

The Lt. Commander made a face at him. “I oversaw the retrofits with Traynor. The only paint that ever got scratched was that ugly-ass Cerberus orange.”

The Major smirked as he said, “Okay. Okay. Fine. But really, why are you down here?”

“Can’t I come down and see how the mission went?”

“Kori, you were listening in on our comms the whole mission. You know exactly how it went and you know that we took out another Cerberus base,” Kaidan said reaching over and switching off her ‘tool.

She opened her mouth to protest but stopped when the rest of the ground team passed them, heading towards the elevator. Shepard called out of his shoulder, “Not a bad ending for your first mission back on the Normandy without your girlfriend along to babysit you, Alenko.”

Kaidan made a face as he waved the first human Specter off. “Laugh it up, Shepard! I'm sure I can ask Liara for some embarrassing stories of her saving your ass.”

“Just because my girlfriend is a Shadow Broker doesn't mean she knows everything I've done or that she’s assed my ass!”

“Are you sure? I seem to remember something about coming back from the dead…”

Shepard scowled as the door shut. The Major just grinned. “You don’t actually babysit me—”

Alenko trailed off when he glanced down and saw the expression on Reese’s face. The same concern laced with what she could only label as fear reflected in her grey eyes. Something definitely wasn't right. Hearing Vega and Cortez banter back and forth as they checked over the shuttle for damage, Kaidan gently ushered Reese to the elevator. “We need to talk, don't we?”

“I don't—"

“Yeah,” he said as he summoned the lift. “We need to talk.”

Reese fidgeted but said nothing in reply. As the elevator doors opened, Kaidan glanced over at the Lieutenant Commander who continued to stare straight ahead. After boarding the lift, the Major said as the doors closed, “EDI, can you give us a few moments alone?”

“Of course, Major Alenko,” the sentient AI replied as she paused the elevator. “I will inform you when the elevator is needed.”

“Thanks, EDI,” he said as he crossed his arms turning to face Reese. “I feel like we've been here before.”

Grey eyes finally met his as she said quietly, “Hopefully less yelling this time.”

Kaidan's eyes went wide at the remark. Two days after he rejoined the SR2 he confronted her about the fact she was ignoring him. Tempers had flared as they discovered they still had unresolved issues even after rekindling the relationship on Earth. “I.. only meant that we talked in the lift. Not the other part.”

“We didn't talk in the elevator. You kissed me and pressed me up against the wall. We actually talked in the engineering sub-deck.”

Kaidan sighed as she once again corrected him. “Do we really have to go down there or—"

“You came back.”

Her words were spoken in a whisper, her eyes flickering between his gaze and his armor’s chest plate. Dawning struck the second human Specter like lightening. She was afraid he wouldn’t return.

He used a gloved hand to tilt her head back up to his level. “Of course, I did. I promised, didn’t I?”

“I just…” Reese began, her expression showing embarrassment at her admission. “It’s stupid but I just had to see you get off that shuttle. I—”

“Oh, hey! It’s okay, sweetheart,” Kaidan said as he drew her into a tender embrace. His Spec Ops armor really wasn’t conducive to it but he managed any way. “I’m here. I’m back with you where I belong.”

A he cradled her head to his chest the best his armor would allow, he realized she had folded her arms in against his chest. He was effectively cocooning her in his embrace. Reese had never been one to show vulnerability in public and it had taken a long time for her to do it with him on the SR1. Now as they struggled to begin again, he was continually surprised when she did so with him. It was especially unexpected considering the issues the incident on Mars had caused between them. The initial confrontation in the very same elevator after he’d joined the crew was a direct result of that.

On Earth before the Reapers invaded, they had begun repairing their relationship. A foundation of friendship had been remade. Slowly, gradually they had worked towards being more. Admittedly even before the arrival of the Reapers, they still had a long way to go.

But maybe there was more to what Kori worried about though. He knew a part of her still harbored a doubt that he might leave again without a proper explanation. And he owned that. He took every opportunity to prove to her through word and deed that he would not repeat past mistakes.

But Mars? That had been something else entirely. It wasn’t like before during the aftermath of the SR1’s destruction, one of them leaving the other because they chose to. Mars involved the possibility of losing each other because of their duty or succumbing to injuries sustained while in the line of duty.

The Major’s mind began putting together the pieces of the puzzle as he continued to hold the woman he loved to his chest.

His headaches. Her reaction in the hospital. Her accusation that he hadn’t been truthful about the severity of his migraines after his injuries on Mars…

The weekly inquiries into his medical records. Dr. Chakwas and Dr. Michel he expected. But a third party pinged his records on a regular basis as well. One routed through Alliance medical but without a specific name. It had to be Kori. She was that worried about him because of Mars but did not want to tell him. Most likely so he wouldn’t worry.

Kaidan closed his eyes as he continued to hold her close. He wouldn’t tell her he’d figured out her secret. Instead, he would continue to assure her he would always come back. That there was a future for them. That no matter the mission, the injury, or the pain he endured, he would always come back to her.

“Kori, I know things have never been exactly easy for us but I…” he paused as he moved his head to kiss her forehead. “I will always come back to you. Always.”

“You better, Alenko,” she murmured into his armor. “Or I’ll—”

“Kick my ass. I know,” he said with a grin as he hit the button to allow the elevator to resume its journey.

“Damn straight, tech boy,” was her murmured reply as he continued to hold her, not caring if the doors opened to reveal their current state to anyone. He’d spent far too long without her in his life, and he was not going repeat that mistake again.

He’d always come back to her. Always.

#mass effect #prompts #kaidan alenko #kori reese #kaidan alenko x fem oc #broken road

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littlemisssquiggles · 4 years

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...So about the ORNJ_JNPR T-shirt thing...

daggerpawstudios asked

“Okay I am the only confused by all the hate that Oscar is getting right now because they dropped some new merch at the RT Store. I am not sure if you heard that Team JNPR got called Team ORNJ on the new shirt. I feel like this is kind of a mistake on the marketing team's part and not really CRWBY. But now a lot of people are attacking RG shippers and Oscar fans and I don't really understand because it seems more like fragile egos”

Squiggles Answers:

@daggerpawstudios

Hey there Dagger. Well to be honest with you fam, this squiggle meister has sort of been out of the RWBY loop for the past few months. Got a work project so I haven’t been as active as I normally would be in my squiggle shire here on Tumblr.

Nevertheless, I did sort of know about the shirt thing. I first heard the news from a tweet from RWBY Youtuber Calxiyn it over on Twitter. I then saw RWBY Youtuber ThatKaitoDan mention Oscar replacing Jaune as leader of Team JNPR in his own tweet post as well but I didn’t know the full context of what he meant by that until you brought this to my attention.

I didn’t know that RT had actually listed the shirt as Team ORNJ which in their case is…well…a big OOF on their part. Personally, I don’t think this is something that folks in the FNDM should be making a big hullabaloo about. I think it’s an obvious PR mistake on the marketing department who run the RT store releases since no offense to RT and whoever is in charge of promotion on their online store but…their record of “getting things right” their store especially with the FNDM hasn’t exactly been squeaky clean in the past.

Besides, another obvious giveaway to me as to why I think it’s more likely to be a minor error is the very fact that Jaune’s silhouette is still first in line.

Think about it. If Oscar had really usurped Jaune as leader of the team then why isn’t his silhouette first in the line up?

Isn’t it not a golden rule of thumb that the leaders of each huntsmen team always appear first in the team line-up whenever they do the silhouette thing as we’ve seen previously with teams like RWBY and even the Ace Ops?

Anyone with decent vision can clearly see that that’s Jaune’s silhouette at the front of the line. Not Oscar. If Oscar was truly the new leader of the team then why is he the third silhouette?

If thing had really turned ORNJ, then the order should be Oscar, Ren, Nora and finally Jaune. But as you can clearly see, the order is Jaune, Ren, Oscar and Nora.----THE SAME ORDER THAT WAS FEATURED IN THE VOLUME 7 OPENING! Or did folks…y’know…forget that?

I know V7 ended earlier in the year but have folks forgotten the season already with its opening sequence? After Team RWBY, we got the JNPR 2.0 gang and the order in which JNR and Oscar appear matches the T-shirt with Jaune being first, then Ren, then Oscar and finally Nora. So there you go.

So I wouldn't worry too much about that Dagger. I agree with you in thinking that it was a simple error made by the RT store. However, that being said, the other part about people stirring discourse over this and worst yet attacking the Pinehead and Rosegarden community over this…do I even need to say how silly that sounds.

Much like with the ridiculous discourse that arose after the small Rosegarden moment in V7CH9, this is yet another classic example of certain-certain folks literally scraping the bottom of the barrel and using any excuse they could find to harp on something they don't like while unfairly accosting the people who do.

I feel really bad for my fellow Pineheads, Rosegardeners and Rosegardening Pineheads who were victims of this time of foolishness. Because that's what this all sounds like to my ears. Foolish fools acting foolish yet again.

Seriously, what does Oscar as a character or even Rosegarden as a ship have to do with something that was posted by the RT store and is clearly an error made by the people who run it?

Are certain-certain folks truly that desperate to stir up drama and conflict that they would honestly seep so low as to use a T-shirt design as fuel for an easy argument?

The Pinehead, Rosegarden and Rosegardening Pinehead communities get enough flak as it is but this is just...beyond silly!

I'm not implying that the hate brigade should train their anger on RT but how silly can you be to take something as a T-shirt design to that level of seriousness? Especially when the design more or less outs its own error. Am I missing something here? Is there another unknown part to this where the CRWBY Writers came out and confirmed that this is legit? Because otherwise, this is just…so…LIKE SERIOUSLY DUDE?!

I like RWBY a lot and in spite of my own personal gripes and nit-picks with the direction of the show at times in terms of its writing and treatment of the characters and their respective relationships and arcs---in spite of all that, I still actively enjoy the show and I’m still invested in seeing where the CRWBY Writers take it to the very end. However I’d be lying if all the constant discourse from the more “toxic” side of FNDM isn’t slowly starting to chip away at my excitement for the series. I can live with RWBY having flaws but what I don’t need are folks constantly going out of their way to use any excuse they could to express their own personal gripes with show; going as far as to abuse others in the process. That kind of stuff isn’t cool and it’s not good to witness through the eyes of someone who wants to enjoy the show or is at least trying to...y’know what I mean?

When I first heard the news of the JNPR shirts, I was excited. Not only is this the first merch we’ve gotten of JNPR in some time but it’s also the second merch to feature Oscar.

In case folks don’t realize, Oscar doesn’t have a lot of his own merchandise sold by RT which sucks for us Pineheads.

At least the OG JNPR/JNR have a couple of merchandise (albeit not as popular or abundant as Team RWBY’s but still there).

But Oscar…not so much and the same can be said for Ozpin too. It took RT six whole seasons to release ONE T-SHIRT DESIGN with Oscar and Oz on the front and even that was sort of short-lived since I don’t see that shirt advertising in the store anymore. It’s always the same ole Team RWBY stuff.

So with that in mind, this shirt was a first and a given. It’s so great to see Oscar together with JNR on a shirt because in a way, it makes it more official that he is a member of their group especially for those of us who were rooting for this to happen since V5.

I still don’t think it means that he is the leader because as I’ll say again, look at the order on the shirt design. Oscar is third. Right where Pyrhha used to be. How can he be leader and be third in the line-up? Oscar is meant to replace Pyrhha, not Jaune.

In the case of this whole ORNJ JNPR T-shirt scandal, I don’t understand how on Earth a clear marketing typo could reach as far as to spark discourse for a fictional character of a series, his fans and the fans of one of his ships? AGAIN!

What does Team JNPR (or whatever they will be called) being miswritten as Team ORNJ has to do with us Pineheads, Rosegardeners and Rosegardening Pineheads? How are we as a fan community responsible for an error made by RT?

Even if there are Pineheads who think this should be official--NOT speaking for myself here but I have seen other Pineheads express their desire to see Oscar lead JNPR for their own reasons---still, this is no excuse to harp on someone for liking it just because you don’t.

You’re right Dagger; this doesn’t make sense to me either.

All I can say is that it is what is it. Another example of certain-certain folks using any excuse to harp on something they don’t like while trying to drag others down with them and/or ruin their good vibes.

Seriously these types of folks are honestly scraping at the bottom of the barrel. I’m surprised they’re still able to see after sinking so low with their foolishness. If that sounds a bit too harsh then sorry; not sorry.

Ever since the whole discourse over the minor Rosegarden moment for V7CH9, I have lost all patience with these types of fans. I honestly find them to be as dumb as their behaviour and it exhausts me just hearing about them and their nonsense.

Losing their marbles and attacking my people over a bloody T-shirt error that ain’t got nothing to do with us.

SO...DAMN...SILLY!

I hope RT clears this up at some point. And even if they don’t, I really don’t see why people should believe this means anything. I certainly don’t.

Not like I want that to happen either. In my opinion, I was never in favour of ORNJ---at least, not right now when Oscar is still a teenager growing into his duties and responsibilities as a huntsman. To me, I only like the idea of Team ORNJ from the perspective of Jaune retiring/stepping down from his role as leader of a huntsman team; instead choosing to pass the torch onto Oscar after the former farm boy had matured into a fine huntsman under his team’s guidance and after proving himself in the eyes of his teammates, especially Jaune.

Y’know that kind of idea.

This is why I always referred to JNR and Oscar as JNPR 2.0. I want JNR to become Oscar’s team and surrogate brothers and sister in arms. I want Oscar and Jaune to have a close big brother-little brother type of dynamic where Oscar admires Jaune’s strength and leadership and looks up to him alot as both a close confidant (much like Ruby) and teammate while Jaune himself admires Oscar’s tenacity after everything he’s been through while making it his role to look out for him along with Nora and Ren.

This doesn’t mean I want Oscar to replace Jaune as team leader nor do I think he should.

I’ve heard some folks rationalize that Oscar should lead JNR since he is Ozpin’s successor. Nothing against the folks who like this concept but if I were to add my $2.50 to this, I don’t think Oscar being Oz’s successor should automatically qualify him to take over JNR; y’know what I mean?

Jaune earned his place as leader of JNPR after proving his talent for leadership back in V1.

The only time that Jaune took a step back was when Ruby led the group as RNJR between V4 and V5 since at the time, the trio were aiding Ruby with her objective to get to Mistral, as Ren said. But even then, Jaune was still a leader and backed up Ruby’s calls with his own strategies.

Not to mention that folks seem to be forgetting that Ozpin was the one who chose Jaune to lead JNPR.

Though we never got a scene of Jaune confronting Oz on his decision to make him team leader like we did with Ruby Rose in “The Badge and the Burden” episode (I think that was the title. Correct me if I’m wrong), much like Ruby, Oz picked Jaune and was of sound mind when he did. Oz picked Jaune to lead since despite his past hiccups and shortcomings, he saw that Jaune also had the makings of a great leader as shown during JNPR’s first fight against the Deathstalker.

So the whole notion of Oscar getting to be leader of JNR JUST BECAUSE he’s Oz’s successor EVEN THOUGH it was Oz’s decision to choose Jaune to be leader of JNPR in the first place---yeah that doesn’t sit right with me.

Jaune is meant to be a leader and JNPR is his team to lead; even with Oscar joining it. Sorry ORNJ-fans. But that’s where I stand on that.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say on this subject. I hope I answered you Dagger.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)

#daggerpawstudios #squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #jaune arc #lie ren #nora valkyrie #team jnpr #team jnpr 2.0 #rwby remarks #roosterteeth

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frncs · 4 years

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⌠ ERIC OSBORNE, 21, NON-BINARY, HE/THEY ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, FRANCES ‘FRANK’ LAVOIE! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MACGYVER SURVIVAL SKILLS AND NAVIGATION & COVERT OPS; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of oversized clothing stitched with thick yarn and littered with cat hair, the snap of stretched balloons before they’re blown and a post-nap dazed gaze. when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 09/01/1999, they always request CORN DOGS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ tasha, 22, she/her, est ⍀

well well well .. id meant to bring another kid ages ago .. n then jus didn’t because the personality part was/is givin me grief FGJH so pls 🐻 w me n replies as i figure out his voice . also .. haven’t even written out my intro yet . . bt ik it’s gna be long apologies , pls feel free to just read the tldr

tw: death, accidental murder, grief.

TLDR: grew up fairly well off to spy parents who didn’t want him to be part of that world but apart from that didn’t care what he did with his life otherwise. he often questioned whether they really cared for him at all (tht quote thts like .. if u love me u love me in a way i cant understand). luna’s his best friend, and he’s obsessed with his aunt and uncle’s circus that stops into town every year. life is pretty great until luna ‘dies’ at 16. he joins the circus and becomes a clown, he loves performing with all his heart. at 18, his aunt and uncle arm him with a credit card and tell him to go travel, he assumes it’s because they just want him to explore the world. visits europe for six months and asia for six months, enjoys it but misses the circus terribly, busks a lot. they actually send him away to distance him from the shady happenings that are starting to boil within the company. he comes back in time for the halloween switch-a-roo, where everyone rotates their act (so he does the magic show as a clown). he’s part of a set-up that results in him accidentally killing a person and sawing them in half. his aunt and uncle call his parents, who reluctantly send him to prep school for a little less than a year to heighten his chances of getting into a spy school for protection, which he does. dedicated to working hard and getting a high paying job to pay for reparations for the circus and do a massive overhaul of the way it runs, because it’s like his second home.

grew up in waterford ct, to one retired spy parent ( his mom ) and his dad who works with the government and is aware of espionage. his mom straight up didn’t have a good time, no one really talks about it, he has no idea what happened, doesn’t know if his dad knows either but it’s clear that they don’t want him going into the spy world.

he feels like he’s always been treated like an adult for as long as he remembers, not in the sense that they burdened him with responsibility, but that they didn’t seem to care what he did one way or another. the best way i can describe it is that his parents had the same energy as a character in a yorgos lanthimos film, very dry and lifeless, like they’re on autopilot. he’d try and cuddle his mom and she’d just pat him on the head. he couldn’t really rebel against them and as long as he went to school and got good grades they appeared un-phased about what he got up to, a very mind your own business dynamic shared between family.

he didn’t get up to a whole lot, he was a bit of an outsider. didn’t make friends very easily because he didn’t know how to let himself go around people, even though he’d sometimes be excited but wouldn’t know how to show it. definitely had that reserved temperament ingrained into him from his parents.

he did have one friend who knew him inside and out, luna <3 who was also his neighbour. their demeanours were a perfect match but also he’d find himself getting so excited and wanting to tell her about his day or listen to hers, or read with her or play hopscotch or send her secret notes with his flashlight at her window.

there was one other thing that got him terribly excited and it’s when his aunt and uncle’s traveling circus would stop in. he’d go every single day for the week and a half it was there. his parents would arrange one dinner with them and consider their familial duty done, other than that they remain out of contact with them. his aunt and uncle tell him that he’s always welcome to join, and he holds them to it. his parents say do whatever you want, just graduate high school first.

his whole world kinda crumbles when luna ‘dies’ at sixteen. he feels immense guilt over it thinking he should’ve done something about that skeevy bf of hers...this also coincides with one of his mom’s friends dying (harlowe’s mom) which makes his mom act even weirder so he fast tracks his plans to join the circus and joins at sixteen, doesn’t graduate high school. i envision the convo btw him and his dad went like:

“dad, i’m joining the circus.”

“graduate high school first.”

“no.”

“okay son, i can’t control you.”

the company welcomed him with open arms and he tried out everything, acrobatics, sharpshooting, but wasn’t particularly talented at anything. except, clownery. because messing up is commended, noting how all the kids would laugh at him trying basic magic tricks. so his aunt and uncle got him into a clown costume lickety-split. performing brought him a lot of joy through the grief like he’s an entirely different person when performing, insert that one cursed joker picture: put on a happy face.

because the owners were his aunt and uncle he was treated exceptionally well and he was very oblivious to the malpractice that went on behind the scenes. the circus had a whole sector dedicated to pickpocketing (other kids who he just saw as friends were often runaways from broken homes who didn’t have anywhere else to go and earned their wages by stealing from customers), and serious kerfuffle with pay, probably some extortion going on, just general yuckery. he vaguely knew it was happening but was kind of like it is what it is kinda standpoint. heavily inspired by the circus barney and clint barton grew up in reffed in the 2015 run of all-new hawkeye.

a couple years later his aunt and uncle give him a credit card and tell him to go travel for a bit. he does because why not but misses the circus terribly. he spends six months in europe and six months in asia, busks as a clown a lot and but his on-the-road/home sickness never really fades.

he returns super excited, ready to clown around but it’s evident tensions are just really high between the workers but they’re still all super sweet to him because he’s very sweet even if he’s oblivious. halloween comes around which is his favourite time of year because they do this thing called the switch-a-roo, where everyone switches what act they’re doing, bicycle acts do contortionist acts, lion tamers do rope walkers, magicians do animal taming and clowns do magic acts. it’s just one big laugh because obviously most of them are cross-trained, but it’s meant to be more of a comedy thing and their mess-ups are to an extent choreographed but also capitalizes on the scariness because they hype up the fact that they have no idea what they’re doing.

he’s doing his magic act, messing up all the magic tricks showing all his cards, and his last act is the sawing someone in half, so the assistant comes out in the box, really selling it like omg a clown !!! being like stop !!! you don’t know what you’re doing !!! and frances is like playing along with the act, as he was told that the gag would be when they split the boxes they’ll have some practical effects to make it look like he’d accidentally actually cut the assistant in half. fumbling with a very real chainsaw, he does the choppity-chop which takes a bit more muscle than he thought it would and the assistant screams a lot then pretends to pass out. anyways it wasn’t an act he accidentally cut someone in half, and they die.

EXTRA CLOWN LORE THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT FEEL FREE TO SKIP!

i envisioned that worker negotiations had been going on for a while and had kinda reached a stalemate where nothing was happening, and there were rumblings about frances being off travelling and spending a shit ton of money where it could’ve been put towards the workers and the circus and his aunt and uncle would hear threats thrown towards frances which is why they wanted him to stay away/go travelling for a while. the girl who was killed did so knowingly, and died a martyr (and also left frances a note explaining things and how she was sorry that he was the one that had to kill her). the whole thing was executed with a lot of thought: how it would affect frances and how it would be seen as a personal attack against his aunt and uncle - and that while the act seemingly went off without a hitch and the public didn’t suspect a thing, the workers have leverage to make it public (which ideally they don’t want b/c a lot of the workers are pretty disenfranchised or have criminal records and truthfully don’t want the end all being the circus closing b/c they do love their job just not the conditions). his aunt an uncle are in a bit of a jam because they need an investor but can’t get that because of shady hiring practices in the first place, and their greed definitely exacerbated the problem.

after that happens his aunt and uncle immediately call his parents, who despite never wanting him to go into the spy industry believe that it would be the safest option for him, and enrol him in prep school (which he attends for less than a year) so that he has more of a chance getting into gallagher the following year, which, with the right strings pulled happens.

now he’s dedicated to giving it his all so he can get a really high paying job and do a complete overhaul of the company and make a lot of reparations that should’ve been made years and years ago.

personality

- very patient, a slow talker and more of a listener. - idealistic, in the sense that he’s always been surrounded by people either in poverty of vulnerable, and despite being a caring guy, adopted that kind of mind your own business mentality his parents had. even his desire to get rich in order to save the circus is a very unrealistic plan or at the very least would take a very long time to achieve. - tired, i know it’s not a personality trait but i’m making it one, he’s a little bit dazed, not gloomy per se but like he’s woken up from a nap and needs to warm up a bit before being a functioning part of society. but that’s like all his interactions. has the gait of like a drunken kung fu master, very limber.

headcanons

has slight imposter syndrome about clowning, knows he’s great and always got a standing ovation but can’t help but wonder how much nepotism played a role in her being the main clown in the company.

planning on hiding out in her room during halloween, but is very bittersweet about it, because he thinks that halloween is one of the only times that people are happy because they get to be anyone they want and has found that most people don’t want to be themselves.

has an overweight, old cat which he’s had since he joined the circus and has been everywhere with him. it’s name is cat. he also has an album on his phone of all the strays he’s ever met, which is a lot being on the road. he named all of them but they never got to come with him.

sleeps a lot, probably has some sort of chronic sleep disorder, but enjoys the sweet release from life so he doesn’t question it. has no shame and will sleep anywhere and does.

loves making balloon animals, was his favourite thing to do at the circus. keeps a jewelry dish full of unpumped balloons on his bedside table. also a big reader, and hoarder of anything that can fit in a small travel notebook (leaves, ticket stubs, pictures, anything).

wanted connections: i’ll update my actual google docs in the coming days but people he met while traveling for a year, anyone with pets wanting to have a pet playdate (cat’s not too active but he could use some company), someone who catches him crying (he cries a lot haven’t peeped his full chart but i can sense the water energy from miles away), people who wake him up when he falls asleep in class, in the common rooms, outside, flirty flirts, someone who’s been to the circus, someone who clowns him about being a clown and he gets super angry, really anything, i’m terrible at coming up with connections i get such a thrill from mundane relations i’m boring <3

#gallagher:intro #smoking cw #my head is Empty i rly have no thots to terrorize u w/ in the tags . sad

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selfmademen · 4 years

Text

Top Surgery Experience

Okay, so I said I would do a write up of my top surgery experience and I’ve finally gotten around to it. Uni started right after so I’ve been fairly frazzled.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have! I’ll do my best to answer them.

To start with, I currently live in NSW, Australia. There are a few Australian top surgeons, but as a NSW resident my best bet was Dr Steven Merten, with Pure Aesthetics in Sydney. Because Australia has a public healthcare system I was able to get my top surgery under that scheme. As far as I’m aware Dr Merten is the only top surgeon who offers this surgery through the public system. He works in partnership with Concord Hospital in Sydney, and that’s where I had my surgery. If you go privately there are other options for the hospital you stay at. There are pros and cons to the public system, which I’ll detail below.

Pros:

I paid $500~ out of pocket instead of between $5k and $10k (if you have private health insurance it may cover some)

Since he’s in my state I didn’t have to travel far

He’s one of the most experienced top surgeons in the state

there’s two places for appointments, either at his clinic or at the Macquarie uni rooms

Cons:

because I went publicly he didn’t perform the surgery personally, rather a registrar did. However, he was in the room the entire time overseeing the operation.

because he’s so popular I had to wait a full year from the first consultation to the actual surgery date

it was extremely hard to get onto the wait list due to how popular he is.

the public system is only available to NSW residents over 18

I was lucky in that my GP at the time knew him professionally and called in a favour so that I knew the moment his books were open, and I am forever grateful for that. It is MUCH easier to get an appointment with him through the private system, but that’s a lot more expensive. For me, the pros far outweighed the cons here, and I decided I could wait a year for my surgery. I had also intended to lose weight beforehand, but that didn’t happen. Woops.

Prior to my first consultation I needed a referral both from my GP, and a registered psychologist or psychiatrist detailing my transition and documented dysphoria surrounding my breasts. The first consultation was $300 iirc, and I paid a $100 deposit, so only paid $200 on the day. Medicare also gave me a $100-something rebate.

The first consultation was fairly quick. He asked some questions about my transition, what my expectations were regarding surgery, detailed my options, and explained the procedures. He measured my breasts, but never touched me (I kinda just picked them up and moved them where he asked). He also took a photo of my chest, with my consent.

I didn’t actually hear from them until about three months before my surgery because my details got lost, but USUALLY the hospital will get in contact with you regarding your surgery date, what you should expect, and when your pre-op consultation is. I also had to fill out a pre-op health questionnaire and personal details. Due to my high level of haemoglobin as a side effect of T, I was required to provide them with more recent blood test results, but you may not have to do this. Usually there is also a pre-op appointment with the nurses and anethetist at the hospital, but the nurse I spoke to said that I didn’t need to go if I didn’t have any pressing concerns.

My pre-op consult with Dr Merten was a couple of weeks before my surgery, however, it’s usually around the same time. This one was $100, and I also had to pay $130 for a medical compression vest which I have to wear for up to three weeks post-op. Again, Medicare partially reimbursed my consultation fee, but not the vest.

During this consultation we basically covered the same things, and I also saw a nurse who told me what medications to avoid, and briefed me on post op care. She also gave me my medical vest, wound tape, and some pamphlets.

Some things she covered:

smokers should stop smoking 12 weeks before surgery

you should limit your alcohol intake the week before surgery, and don’t drink alcohol AT ALL during the two days immediately prior to surgery

no herbal medications, asparin, ibuprofen, or other blood thinners for two weeks prior to surgery. IF YOU ARE ON BLOOD THINNERS FOR MEDICAL REASONS THIS MAY BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU.

do not eat or drink anything from midnight the night before your surgery. Morning medication (antidepressants in my case) can be taken with a sip of water.

the night before and morning of surgery I had to shower with a special soap that was provided in order to kill bacteria on my skin.

I did have to call the admissions centre the day before my surgery to confirm my appointment time. For me it was 8:30. Before going in I had a brief interview with a nurse, who took down my details and checked me for allergies and medical conditions. I was given my wrist bands (red, since I have a codeine allergy), and directed up to where I would meet the nurses. There I changed into the operating gown (you can keep your undies on) and compression socks due to my weight.

I was taken to a prep room before the operating theatre where Dr Merten marked my chest. Basically where things would be cut, lipo’d, etc. I was feeling nervous so the anethetist also came in, did my canula and gave me something to relax (don’t know what it was). He was extremely kind and friendly, and said he was honoured to be included in this part of my journey, which I honestly thought was an incredibly sweet thing to say, and I’m very grateful for how he looked after me.

The relaxation shit kinda made me dopey, and pretty much immediately I was wheeled into the theatre. They had me wriggle from the bed onto the table, I nearly fell off, but it was all good. I don’t really remember much from here, but there was some music playing, and the nurses and registrar were setting up.

At this point the anethetist put the mask on and told me to take some deep breaths. I remember it tasting and smelling really weird, and the next thing I know I was waking up in recovery.

I’m not sure how long I was in recovery for because I kept drifting in and out, but they gave me something for the pain and then wheeled me to the ward. I started waking up properly around this time, had a chat with the people transporting me, and by the time I was in the ward I was fully alert (and really needed to pee).

Because of my size and the way the surgery worked out, I did have a few staples at the ends of my incisions, and I also had to put the compression vest on. I also had drains, with bags that needed to be changed every twelve hours. Nurses would also come and take my blood pressure and check that everything was okay and that I wasn’t in too much pain. They were all extremely welcoming and accepting, never misgendered me once, and even double checked my name and pronouns to ensure that everyone knew. My mate was also allowed to stay with me pretty much the whole day until dinner, which really helped me cos I’m bad with hospitals.

After surgery I was stiff and ached a little, but there wasn’t too much pain. I was able to go to the toilet myself, although wiping was very difficult for the first week.

I stayed overnight, and was discharged the next day. They gave me anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, and some opiates to help the pain. I should note here that I do have an extremely high pain tolerance, so outside of days where I pushed myself a bit too far, I generally didn’t need to use them.

I’m unsure if my experience is unusual, as I was able to do pretty much everything immediately post-op. Of course, I’ve been taking it easy, but dressing, sleeping, cooking, moving, has all so far been generally okay. I have had some pain on days where I moved about too much, or sat up too much, but that’s also partially chronic pain flaring up due to my bad back.

I was discharged with my drains still in, as I’m a bleeder. Usually with Dr Merten they’re removed before discharge, but I was sent home with some bags and instructed to change them every 24 hours and keep a record of how much had drained. I think I wound up keeping my drains in for around a week before they were removed.

I went to the medical centre twice to have my dressings changed and drains checked (and eventually removed), and was sent home with a sterile staple remover for my GP to remove my staples with. They’ll be coming out at the end of the week. The drains didn’t hurt when removed, it just felt like an odd tugging sensation. The stitches Dr Merten used are dissolving ones, so no need to get them taken out.

I do have to change my nipple dressings every three days, and the tape on my incisions can stay on for up to a week. The stuff I use is extremely strong and has glue on it, so I’m a bit hesitant to change it on my own (nearly ripped a staple out last time I changed my dressings).

I’m roughly three weeks post-op now, and I have pretty much all my mobility back. Showering is difficult, as is bending over or reaching to one side (tugs on my incisions). There is pain when I do things, but unless something actively tugs at, touches, or puts pressure on my wounds I’m not in any pain. Mostly its just an annoyance at this stage.

I’m still sleeping on my back, although I can lie on my side for short periods of time. There’s some bruising around my armpits where I had liposuction, and there is a small numb patch on my left side. I can’t feel my nipples, but I also couldn’t feel them prior to this so it’s not a huge loss.

I’ve seen some people say that they felt depressed post-op because of a hormone fluctuation, but personally when I saw my chest it felt natural and right. I didn’t cry (not a big crier) and I wasn’t surprised or shocked or… overwhelmed. To me it was my outer body finally reflecting my inner self. I already looked like this in my own mind, so it was just natural that it looks the way it does post-op.

Unfortunately some dysmorphia and self-esteem issues surrounding my weight have resurfaced, but that’s not really related to the top surgery, and it’s something I’m able to work on as I recover.

If there’s something I haven’t covered that you’re curious about, please send an ask! I’ve tried to be as thorough as possible, but its been a few weeks and some details are fuzzy.

#top surgery

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eastasianfeelings · 4 years

Text

boys vs. boys: Vixx

← previous: toys vs. boys

Summary: Your next marketing event for Vixx goes off without a hitch... except for the part where your six boyfriends decide to throw a fit over your business cards.

Words: 4k

Warnings: polyamory, super-dumb jealousy

You look around the venue filled with people and take a moment to pat yourself on the back.

Y/N, you are a marketing genius.

Several months ago, you pitched the idea of targeting female fans’ boyfriends to the rest of your marketing team. Men could give their girlfriends the “gift” of Vixx by purchasing tickets to exclusive fanmeets and photo ops, where they could record, photograph or otherwise document their girlfriend meeting Vixx in-person, thus giving their girlfriend a lasting memory.

It took a few meetings to come up with an appropriate strategy, since your team’s historically focused on targeting the core audience of female fans. But after enough buy-in, you got the budget and resources to build your campaign, and now you’re standing at the back of the conference centre’s main hall, basking in the record attendance numbers.

“Vixx is on their way,” someone reports through your headset. That’s your cue: you start to make your way discreetly toward the front of the hall.

On the left side of the room, it’s mostly women sitting in numbered seats. Behind the cordoned area on the right, it’s general seating occupied mostly by men, where they’ll be able to record or take photos of their girlfriends and Vixx.

You reach the front of the room and position yourself in between the crowd of men and the table where Vixx will sit. Just in time: cheers fill the air as the members file through the back door, waving and smiling.

“Real V! V-I-X, we are Vixx! Hello~!” Hakyeon kicks things off with the familiar introduction, and the atmosphere in the room hits the roof; even some of the men in your area are getting into it and clapping along. You make eye contact with a few and quickly look away, suppressing a grin.

“Hi everyone, how are you?” Leo picks up his mic next.

“We’re so glad to see you,” Hakyeon continues, “it’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

The audience calls their assent, and Ken chimes in.

“We couldn’t wait to see our Starlight babies!” he says. “That’s why we’re holding this event.”

Hyuk lifts his mic. “Everyone, you know how this works, right?” He pauses to let the “Yes!” from the audience ring. “That’s right, you have your number in the order on your tickets.”

“But today, there will be time for you to take a photo with each one of us,” Hakyeon says brightly. “If your boyfriend is here and ready to film you from over there, he can do so!”

“If you’re a good Starlight and saved yourself for us,” Ravi says cheekily, “we can take a selca instead.”

“Yah,” Hongbin says, “there are no bad Starlights. They’re all our precious babies.” It’s a line that was scripted for him by one of your colleagues, so his delivery is flat, but the fans react predictably well.

You notice some eye-rolling from the men in front of you as the women eagerly queue up, but that’s to be expected; as long as nobody throws a jealous tantrum and derails the event, everything should be fine.

“You were giving out your number to them.”

“I was giving out my business card, Hakyeon.”

“Your card has your number on it, doesn’t it?”

Four hours later, you’re standing in the empty dressing room, facing off against an upset Hakyeon. The event was a success, but you unfortunately failed to anticipate an alternate source of jealous tantrums: your own boyfriends.

“You realize that those men have girlfriends, right,” you say as patiently as you can, “that’s why they were there.”

“Yah, noona.” There’s the noise of crinkling plastic behind you as Hyuk finishes gulping down an entire water bottle, smushes it casually in one fist and comes over to join the conversation. “I heard them talking to you, some of those guys were there with their sisters or cousins.”

You frown at him. “How did you even hear that? Were you not paying attention to your fans?”

“I was!” he says indignantly. “But Hongbin-hyung was holding up the line and there was no one in front of me and then I heard that one guy asking about you.”

“What guy?”

“That guy who asked you what your ideal type was!”

You squint and try to remember, while Hakyeon and Hyuk stare at you like you’re a suspect about to confess. “Oh. That?” You laugh as you recall. “Hyuk-ah, you know what he was saying right before that?”

“That his ideal type is someone just like you?” he says grumpily.

“Of course not.” You reach up and scrub your hand through his hair. “He was saying that his sister’s ideal type is you, Hyukie.”

Hakyeon barely stifles his snort, while Hyuk flushes. “So what? That was probably his segue into asking about you.”

“But I told him I agreed with his sister,” you say brightly, and grin as Hyuk turns even redder. “And I think he got the message.”

“Hm.” Hyuk ducks his blushing face away, the corners of his mouth fighting a smile.

“Y/N-ah.” Hakyeon sidles closer, amusement gone. “You told him Hyuk is your ideal type?”

You look over at him. “So?”

Hakyeon just pouts at you, disappointment leaking from his every pore. You laugh a little and take his hands in your own.

“What do you want me to say? ‘Actually, all six Vixx members are my ideal type’?”

“Why not?” he says defensively as his fingers intertwine with yours.

“Don’t be dumb, hyung.” Hyuk edges in as well, eyeing your hands. “That sounds ridiculous.”

“Yah. Who are you calling dumb?” Hakyeon frees one hand to chop at Hyuk, who ducks it skillfully and then snatches your free hand in his.

As Hakyeon glares, Ken comes sailing into the room. “Hey, here you are!” He comes to a stop when he sees Hakyeon and Hyuk on either side of you. “What’s going on? Are we fighting?”

“No, we’re not fighting,” you say quickly, tugging your hands free. “We’re cleaning up. You can help!”

“Oh, ah...” Ken looks around at the mess of the room, then quickly whips out his phone. “I was actually going to send an SNS post, so I’ll do that first, okay?” He adds a wide smile to the end of his excuse.

“One post,” Hakyeon warns him, “and then you’re helping us clean up.”

“Hyuk-ah, can you put this on that trolley over there?” You push a hefty package of disposable water bottles toward Hyuk. “Hakyeon-ah, look through these coats and tell me which ones belong to you guys and which ones are going to the lost-and-found.”

While they’re both doing so, Ken lets out a dramatic gasp.

“Y/N-ah!”

“Hm?” You walk over and peer at the phone screen he’s thrusting at you.

“Look!”

“It’s… a tweet about this fanmeeting?”

“Look at the photo!”

You look, and still see nothing out of the ordinary. “It’s… a flatlay of swag from this fanmeeting,” you try next.

Ken whines in exasperation and points to a white rectangle in the corner of the photo. “It’s your name! It’s your card!”

“What??” Hakyeon drops the coat he’s holding and hurries over.

Hyuk joins the huddle around Ken’s phone. “What, what is it?”

When you squint, sure, you can make out the company logo at the top of the card, and a tiny set of blurry characters that do spell out your name. But—“Jaehwan-ah, nobody’s going to notice that.”

“I just did!”

“Yeah, but that’s because you know what my business cards look like. No one else would pay any attention.”

“That’s not the problem, Y/N-ah.” Ken jabs at his phone screen again. “The problem is—”

“The problem is,” Hakyeon takes over, “why were you handing out your card?”

You huff out a breath and step away from your little circle. “I hand out my card because it helps people to remember the event, to remember you guys. If someone digs out the card from the bottom of their pocket later, they’re going to go, ‘Oh right, this company with those idols’. It’s an opportunity to make a mark.”

“More like an opportunity for a booty call,” Hyuk mutters.

Ken sucks in a dramatic gasp while Hakyeon bristles violently. You just facepalm.

“People do not use business cards for booty calls.”

“You don’t know for sure, noona,” Hyuk protests.

“Why even take that risk?” Hakyeon says.

“Yeah! We can just give them more swag instead of sacrificing you,” Ken says.

“I’m not being sacrificed, Jaehwan-ah.”

“Who’s being sacrificed?” Ravi comes into the room.

“Nobody,” you tell him.

Ravi comes over to lean one arm against Ken and the other against you. “Noona, I barely saw you during the entire event. I thought you were going to be on the floor with us.”

“She was too busy talking with all the men,” Hyuk grumbles.

“The men?” Ravi’s eyebrows rise.

“What men?” comes the suspicious question from Leo as he enters the room, Hongbin right behind him.

“All those men at today’s event,” Hyuk elaborates.

“I was doing my job, okay,” you interrupt, a little exasperated.

“What are we talking about?” Hongbin asks, sitting down so he can look at you all judgmentally from a distance away.

“Y/N-ah was handing out her card,” Hakyeon says grimly.

“Her what?” Ravi says.

“My business card,” you emphasize. “Because that’s what business cards are for.”

“Noona, you gave them out to random strangers!” Hyuk exclaims.

“...Random strangers?” Leo’s slowly worming his way into the circle around you.

“Look!” Ken holds out his phone. “Someone tweeted a freaking picture of her card!”

“Jaehwan-ah, what’s the username of the account?” you question.

Ken blinks, then checks. “Why?”

“It’s a female name, right?”

“So what?” Ravi’s arm has migrated over your shoulder so that he’s got you in a sort of backhug, arms pinned to your side.

“So, it’s not like I only gave out my card to men.” On instinct, you test your mobility; you feel Ravi tighten his hold to keep you in place. “Wonshik-ah.”

His muscles tense, but when you tap at his forearm, he grumbles and loosens enough for you to step away.

You put your hands on your hips and look around at all of them. “Look. Giving my business card out is a part of my job. I’m in marketing, it’s going to happen. You don’t want me to lose my job, do you?” You raise your brows.

“Of course not, noona,” Hyuk says immediately. “But—”

“Good. Because I’ve given out my card countless times in the past and I’ll continue giving it out in the future,” you state.

“Countless times?” Leo repeats.

“In the past?” Ken sidles up to your side. “Like, in the recent past or in the far past?”

“You’ve given out your card so many times you can’t even count?” Hakyeon looks disproportionately horrified by this idea.

Why is this what they’re focusing on? “That’s not the point—”

Hongbin interrupts with a quiet tsk. “Noona. Are you trying to make us mad?”

You roll your eyes at him. “If I wanted to make you guys mad, I’d just ask Hyuk who his favourite hyung is.”

There’s a pause as everyone looks to Hyuk.

Hyuk opens his mouth, then wisely closes it and narrows his eyes at you.

You can’t help pushing a little, for your own entertainment. “You do have a favourite, right, Hyukie?”

“Who is it, Hyuk-ah?” Leo demands.

“You can’t ask me to pick a favourite,” Hyuk hedges, sidling around you so you’re in between him and Leo. “That’s like asking N-hyung to pick his favourite dongsaeng.”

“Oh, well.” You shrug lightly and launch the bomb: “I always thought your favourite was Jaehwan-ah.”

“Your favourite is Jaehwan?!” Leo starts toward Hyuk.

“I didn’t say that!” Hyuk yelps as he dives behind you. “Noona said that, not me!”

“Aw, really?” Ken bounces around your other side to meet Hyuk for a big hug. “I love you too, our baby maknae~!”

“Yah, Sanghyuk, I raised you.” Leo swerves around you, Ravi and Hakyeon to get at Hyuk and Ken, who run in the opposite direction.

You stifle a laugh and turn to Hakyeon. “As for Hakyeon-ah…” You smile up at him. “I’m your favourite dongsaeng.”

That gets him blushing in a second. “Ah, I mean…”

“I’m not?” You add a dash of aegyo.

“Of course you are.” Hakyeon folds easily with a huge smile on his face, and he opens his arms to you.

But Ravi grabs for you and pulls you out of reach. “That doesn’t mean you’re her favourite, N-hyung,” he points out.

“I wasn’t assuming that,” Hakyeon defends himself.

“Good.” Ravi nestles his head on top of yours and snuggles you deeper into his chest; Hakyeon narrows his eyes.

Hongbin gives a judgey sniff. “Don’t be so clingy.”

“Why not?” Ravi hums, unperturbed, as he angles you away from Hakyeon’s attempts to put his hands on you.

Amused, you let Ravi shield you from Hakyeon, while in the background, Hyuk and Ken giggle madly as they run from Leo. “Yeah, why not, Hongbin-ah? You don’t want me?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, noona.”

“Just asking.”

“What, you’d rather I come over and wrestle you away from Ravi?” He snorts.

“No, I’d rather you let the others show their affection how they want without judging them for it,” you reply promptly.

Hongbin closes his mouth around the retort on his tongue and looks away, his cheeks darkening ever so slightly. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want you,” he says, tone lower.

You have to smile. He’s too tsundere for his own good, really.

A hard jostle against Ravi causes his grip on you to loosen; Ken’s barged right into him, Hyuk hot on his heels. Hakyeon takes his chance to snatch you into his arms while Ravi is pushed into Leo’s path as a barrier by Ken and Hyuk.

“Yah, brats,” Leo says on a pant, glaring at them as they peek over Ravi’s shoulders. He’s got his hands backward on his hips and is bent slightly forward like a middle-aged aunt winded from chasing kids around.

You decide to intervene before he collapses of exhaustion. “Okay, everyone, we really have to clean this place up before the venue staff kick us out. Help me out?”

“Of course,” Hakyeon says, good mood restored now that he’s got you. He brushes his lips against your temple, then lets you go to whip Ken, Ravi and Hyuk into action. “C’mon, kids, time to work. And no, Jaehwan-ah, you are not posting one more photo on SNS.”

You approach Leo, who’s still balefully eyeing Ken and Hyuk while his chest heaves up and down. “Taekwoon-ah.”

He looks around, expression stiff.

“You know it was a joke.” You reach up and slide your hand up the back of his neck.

He responds immediately, relaxing into your hold like a cat being petted. “Hm.”

“No hurt feelings?” you check, stroking your fingers into his hair.

“Mm. No.” Leo’s voice drops a few tones; he leans his head into your touch and, at the same time, drapes an arm around your waist to bring you closer. “Y/N-ah.”

“Yeah?”

You look up in time to see his eyelids drop a little, gaze focused on your face. Your mouth. He tugs a little with the arm around your waist, urging you to rise onto your tiptoes, meet him halfway.

“No, Taekwoon, not here,” you say as sternly as you can, and pull your hand out of his hair.

He lets out a sound that’s almost a whine. “Y/N-ah…”

“Help me clean up, and we can get home faster and do what you want there,” you pitch.

Fortunately that gets through, and he stops trying to get you on your tiptoes to kiss him. “What do you need me to do?”

Ah, helpful boyfriends are the best. You direct him to sorting out the remainder of the swag into boxes, then check on the others to make sure nothing’s going awry.

When you circle back to the table, Hongbin’s still sitting there. “Aren’t you going to put me to work?” he asks sardonically.

You stop in front of him and reach out to muss his coiffed hair. “There’s not much left to do. Want to sit here and get all the tsundere out of your system before we go home?”

“No. N-hyung’s going to yell if I don’t help.” He removes your hand from his hair and then drops his arm, forcing you to step closer with your hand still in his. “Tell me what to do.”

“Okay.” You try to think, but his perfectly-styled hair is just begging to be ruffled, and your free hand instinctively rises.

Hongbin grabs that hand, too, and brings both your hands down, pulling you in even closer. “Noona.”

He’s looking up at you, studying your face intently enough to make you feel embarrassed, and you get the urge to pull back. “Sorry, your hair just looks too good,” you offer as your excuse.

His head cocks. “Does it?”

“Or maybe it’s just you.” You give him a smile.

He tilts his head further. “Just me,” he repeats.

“Too cheesy?”

Hongbin considers for a moment. “No,” he decides. Then he pulls you down to plant a kiss on your mouth.

You wobble a bit when he lets you go, caught off-guard, and a smirky smile curls the edges of his lips. “Clingy enough for you?” he asks.

Before you can swat the smug look off his face, your phone rings. You jump at the sound, breaking apart from Hongbin, and quickly reach into your pocket to pick up.

Hongbin’s peering at the screen almost before you are, bent over to squint at the number. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know.” You step away from him to get some space and answer: “Hello?”

“Y/N-ssi?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“This is Jihun-manager with the venue. I’m just calling to check if the rooms are ready to close up?”

“Oh, yes.” You turn to glance guiltily at the wall clock. “Er, most of them are, we just have one room left. I think it’s Dressing Room B.”

“Okay, I’ll tell my staff to leave that one for last.”

“Thanks very much. We’ll definitely be out before nine pm,” you promise.

As you end the call, you abruptly realize that all six Vixx members are standing around you, focused on you.

“Uh. Guys?” You step back a little, looking from face-to-face.

“Who was it?” Hakyeon asks.

“Who—? It was Jihun-manager, he’s the venue coordinator for this event.”

“You didn’t have his number saved,” Hongbin notes.

“Yeah, we’d only corresponded by email before today.” You frown around at everyone. “What’s the matter?”

Slowly their stances relax, as though some unknown threat has disappeared. Leo’s still eyeing your phone with mistrust, both Hakyeon and Ken are pouting, and Ravi’s rolling his shoulders just a bit, but nobody seems interested in explaining why they’re so het up.

Then you hear Hyuk’s grumble as he slinks back to stacking boxes: “You shouldn’t answer numbers you don’t know, noona.”

…Ohhhh dear.

Are they back to the giving-out-your-business-card thing?

You decide the best way to not test that theory is to get the boys cleaning up as swiftly and efficiently as possible. By quarter to nine, all the boxes are stacked and you’ve gathered all the leftover junk into three ginormous garbage bags. You send Jihun-manager a text to let him know you’re done with the room, then distribute the boxes and bags among the members and head out to the parking garage.

As you’re all waiting for the elevator, your phone rings again.

Everyone turns to look at you.

Warily, you back away from them, keeping your phone screen tucked toward you. “I’ll take this call, you guys go ahead, okay?” You motion to the arriving elevator car.

Nobody moves.

Whatever. With a huff, you turn your back and answer the call. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this… Y/N?”

“Yes, that’s me. How can I help you?”

“Er, you work with Vixx, right?”

“Yes, I do.” You glance over your shoulder and nearly leap out of your skin: all six of them are right there behind you, straining around their various boxes and bags to listen in.

“Ah, well, I don’t know if you remember, but I was at today’s event and you gave me your card.”

“Ah, did I?” You turn and make shooing motions at the boys. It doesn’t do anything, of course; instead, they just crowd closer until you’re basically up against the wall, surrounded by men and boxes.

“Yes. And… well, I’m interested in learning more about what you do. Your industry, you know. I hope this isn’t inappropriate, but could we chat sometime about your job, and your career, and how you got to where you are now?”

You smile. “Yes, that’s totally fine. Why don’t you send me an email? I’ll check my calendar when I’m back in the office and book us some time.”

“Oh, thank you! Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” The person is genuinely excited, you can tell.

“No problem. Just send me an email, okay?”

“I will! Thank you, Y/N-ssi.”

“You’re welcome! Bye now.”

You hang up, and immediately are bombarded by questions.

“Who was that?”

“Why are you meeting with them?”

“Why are they calling so late at night?”

“It was one of those men you gave your card to, right?!”

“Okay, first of all,” you say loudly, “it was a woman.”

That shuts them up, and you smile with satisfaction at the sudden silence.

“Second, it was a networking call. She just wanted to learn about my job. Nothing even close to a booty call.” You give Hyuk a slanted glance. “I’m good at what I do, and that includes networking, got it?”

“Got it,” Hyuk says, a little sullenly.

“You still shouldn’t answer unknown numbers, noona,” Ravi frets.

Ken gasps a little and looks to Hakyeon. “What if it was just an excuse? Do we have to start guarding Y/N-ah from women too?”

As horror spreads over Hakyeon’s face, you sigh. “No more of this, please, let’s just go home already. Taekwoon-ah, can you press the button?” Because of course the elevator’s long-gone.

Not a minute passes before your phone rings again.

There’s almost an audible cracking noise as everyone’s head snaps around.

“Don’t even start,” you say to them warningly, before answering the call. “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Y/N?” It’s a male voice.

Ravi’s apparently standing close enough to hear, because he sucks in his breath and informs the others in a whisper: “It’s a guy.”

You ignore their intensifying stares. “Yes, that’s me, can I help you?”

“Well, uh, we met today at the Vixx event, and you gave me your card, and I was actually wondering… I’m sorry if this is a bit straightforward, but do you have a boyfriend?”

Your eyes nearly pop out of your head.

Ravi’s staring at you so hard he’s going cross-eyed. In a tense, hushed tone, he asks, “Did he just say… boy… friend…?”

Instantly, you feel the other five go on red alert, stares like lasers.

Ping. The elevator doors part once more.

In a split second, you make your decision. You plunge down the gauntlet of Vixx members, dive into the elevator car and frantically reach for the close button. If you can just get yourself two minutes away from your boyfriends, a two-minute elevator ride so they can calm down and become more rational and realize that you’re not going to say yes to a random person who asked if you had a boyfriend—

SLAM. Leo whacks the closing doors apart with his arm, eyes fixed on you, gaze stormy.

You gulp. “Uh.”

Then he’s pushed into the car by the rest of the boys, who are all now shouting and fighting to get near you.

“Who was that?!”

“Boyfriend??”

“He actually asked if you had a boyfriend?”

“What did you say?!”

“That was totally a booty call, noona!!”

“BOYFRIEND???”

With a sigh, you give up and let yourself be engulfed by six wailing men.

#vixx #vixx fic #vixx x reader #cha hakyeon #jung taekwoon #lee jaehwan #kim wonshik #lee hongbin #han sanghyuk #vixx imagines #eaf writes vixx #eaf original

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dylshoney · 5 years

Text

just a crush｛part two｝

a/n: I got so many requests to do a part two, thank you so much to everyone that enjoyed the first one! more to come soon, if you want to be added to the tag list, to be notified whenever a new part comes out, lmk!

warnings: none

You ran through the crowd, your heart beating out of your chest as you grinned widely. You rushed to the platform Andrew had pointed out to you, showing the security guard your pass and climbing down the steps into the pit right in front of the stage.

Your eyes widened at how well you could see everything, your hands shaking slightly as you adjusted the settings on your camera, ensuring that everything was perfect for ShowTime.

You gripped your camera tighter, bringing it up to your eyes and beginning to move around as you looked for the best possible angles. You smiled, you were going to take the best damn pictures that boy had seen in his life and prove to him that you deserved this job.

The lights began to flash, your smile widening as the entire stadium began to scream. You adjusted your lens for a second – your breath catching in your throat as you watched the gorgeous laughing boy run on stage.

You couldn’t resist watching him for a second – almost forgetting what you were supposed to do – the smile on his face capturing your attention. You blinked, immediately straightening up, trying to snap the best possible shots of his entrance.

You felt shivers form all over your skin as he began strumming his guitar, the opening notes to ‘There’s nothing holding me back’ filling the room. You couldn’t resist lightly humming along as you moved about in the free space.

The songs seemed to change rapidly, the concert flying by in a whirlwind of emotions, stunning performances and endless clicks of your camera.

You were covered in sweat by the end of it, your feet hurting and your throat sore – but you didn’t mind it one bit, you enjoyed every second.

Watching Shawn get off the stage was a revolutionary experience for you, your heart pounding as you realized that this was now your reality. You would get to see him do this every night.

“Y/n!” Andrew’s excited shout snapped you out of your thoughts as he beckoned you closer. You tried to ignore the overwhelming shouts of the fans, mostly asking who you were and where Adam, the previous photographer, was.

“Hey,” you smiled once you reached him.

“Such a thrill huh?” He asked, noticing the star-struck look on your face. You couldn’t help but nod, your mind still reeling from the adrenaline of watching one of your idols perform.

“Come on backstage – I’d like it if you got a few pictures during the meet and greets.”

You followed him through the dark passages, your fingers tightly wrapped around your camera, your ears still pounding from the aftershock of being so close to the speakers.

“You can wait in here if you want,” Andrew said, taking you into a large area where you recognized some of the crew setting up, “Shawn should be out in a half hour.”

“Okay, thank you,” you smiled, walking over to one of the couches where you saw Annie, Shawn’s hairstylist, sitting.

“Hi,” you sat next to her, your camera placed in your lap as she faced you with a smile, “Don’t you look pretty,” she winked, her eyes trailing over your form.

You blushed, averting your gaze, “I’m sweating like a pig.”

She laughed loudly, “Perks of chasing Shawn.”

You nodded, “He just – has so much energy.”

“You should see him before shows though,” she smiled, “Bit of an emotional wreck.”

“Huh?” You tilted your head, staring at her in confusion.

“He just has a bit of anxiety before every performance, something about wanting to make it memorable for people.”

You were silent as she continued, “If you ask me, he’s putting way too much pressure on himself. People are going to love him no matter what – it’s inevitable.”

You couldn’t help but agree. There was something about Shawn that made everyone naturally flock to him – his presence was addicting to be around, you realized – your mind replaying some key moments from the show.

“Hey,” a friendly voice spoke, your head turning to the left to see Charlie, Shawn’s opening act smiling down at you.

“H – Hi – ”you spluttered, immediately standing up and taking his outstretched hand.

“I’m Charlie,” he nodded once you pulled away.

“Y/n. It’s great to meet you.”

He smiled, “You as well. It’s nice to finally see the young photographer in person.”

You bit your lip, “Uh – ”

“Don’t take it the wrong way,” his grin was genuine, “You’re just a lot younger than Adam.”

“Yeah,” you blushed, suddenly very interested in your shoes.

“Shawn said you were eighteen,” he asked, your head perking up at his words. Shawn mentioned you? Your gut plummeted as fast as it rose – what if he talked about how awkward your first interaction was?

You could feel your cheeks heat up involuntarily, “Unfortunately.”

He smiled, confusion lacing his features, “Unfortunately?”

“I’m only legal to drink in Europe,” you shrugged, “And I only happened to miss that part of the tour.”

You grinned as he began laughing, a pretty smile coating his features, “You’re a big partier, I take it?”

You shook your head, “No idea. Would have been nice to figure it out though.”

That only made him laugh harder, your chest swelling in happiness as you realized you might have just made your first friend on tour.

“You excited for the meet and greet?” You asked as the two of you adjusted your positions, moving to sit down on the couch.

He nodded, his smile fading a bit as he whispered, “Bit nervous, to be honest.”

“How come?”

Charlie shrugged, “Don’t get me wrong, fans are like the best thing in my life,” you silently melted at his words, “But it’s just so nerve-wracking to actually see them all in person. I’m worried I’m going to make a fool of myself.”

You shook your head, “That’s literally impossible. And even if you do – it’ll only make them love you more.”

He smiled making you continue, “Seriously! They’ll probably find the whole flustered nervous thing cute. Girls are digging the soft boy look these days.”

He snorted, “Soft boy?”

“What?” You look back at him in shock, “Have you opened twitter recently? It’s all people are talking about.

“I’ve never heard of it.”

“I’m shocked – Shawn’s basically the epitome of soft.”

“What would it take to make someone hard?”

You paused for a moment, a teasing grin on your face as he began to realize his words, “I – uh – I meant –”

“I know what you meant,” you covered your mouth to hide the laughter that was threatening to burst out of you, “Don’t worry.”

“See!” He groaned, “I just made a fool of myself now!”

“No, you made me laugh - there’s a difference,” you smiled, trying to control your giggle.

“Maybe I should rehearse what I’m going to say?”

You shook your head, “They’re going to see right through that, you need to be genuine. Don’t worry, it’ll be amazing, I promise.”

He nodded, still unconvinced, his eyes traveling to look at something behind you. His gaze returned to you abruptly, “I gotta go – fans are about to start coming in – I’ll talk to you later?”

You nodded, smiling at him and sending a thumbs up, “Relax, you’ll do great!”

He placed a hand on his heart teasingly before mouthing a quick thank you and disappearing from behind one of the black curtains – which you guessed would provide the backdrop for the photos.

You watched the camera crew enter the space – setting up their equipment in record time. They were the real photographer’s whose photos were meant to all look the same – clean-cut and professional. It was their website that would be selling all the meet and greet photos later.

You were almost jealous of them for a second – their job seemed almost perfect. All they had to do was set up the tripod in a position and tell Shawn and the fans how to pose. You, on the other hand, were tasked with a bit more creative task. It was your job to take pictures of the photo- ops from different angles, playing around with the lighting and posing to make everything look candid yet professional. You knew that you would definitely be up half the night editing whatever photos Andrew approved – which would later get sent to Shawn – giving him something to post on his Instagram.

He seemed to enjoy the aesthetic shots, you noticed once when you were stalking his profile, before you had even gotten the job. He loved black and white – the backstage pictures – the ones with raw emotion, unaware that a camera was on him.

That was probably why you were chosen to be his photographer; it was your exceptional skill to catch people in their most raw, beautiful, unfiltered form. It was your favorite thing to see someone through the lens and snap a photo – capturing the essence of a special moment, and saving it forever.

You snapped out of your thoughts as Annie tapped you on the arm. You were quick to stand up and follow the older girl to the middle of the room, where the barricade was set up.

“Annie!” You spun around at the sound of the breathless voice, your eyes practically jumping out of their sockets as Shawn walked over to her, his cheeks red and hair still wet – presumably from the shower he had just taken.

“Sit,” Annie’s voice was rushed as she led him to the table where some of her products were scattered, “You should have been here fifteen minutes ago.”

He coughed, his eyes trailing up to look at you through the mirror. You blushed at the intensity of his gaze, immediately looking away from him and to your feet.

“Shawn,” Annie groaned, not happy that he was ignoring her.

“Sorry,” his voice was hoarse.

“You can’t keep doing this, people have been waiting for over an hour,” Annie’s voice was lost as she turned on the hairdryer, beginning to style Shawn’s hair. You sighed before looking back up to see Shawn already focused on you, he didn’t seem embarrassed to be caught staring – in fact, a small smile adorned his lips.

You could feel your cheeks catch fire as you attempted to smile back, before stepping away and turning around, as you pretended to fiddle with your camera.

“Shawn!” Andrew’s hurried tone snapped everyone’s attention to him, “We’re letting everyone in – in ten minutes.”

Shawn nodded in response, shutting his eyes as he slowly ran a hand through his freshly dried hair. You could feel your breath catch in your throat as you watched him, transfixed on the way his long fingers moved through the locks. You found yourself wondering how soft his hair was, what it would feel like to run your fingers through it.

“Y/n,” you felt a hand lightly touch your back as you turned to face the sound, Charlie’s grinning face staring down at you, “Could you snap a picture of me with these roses?”

You didn’t hesitate to nod, “Course, where do you wanna do it?”

You were happy for the distraction, your mind momentarily forgetting Shawn and the way his eyes on you made you feel.

“Place them to your nose,” you giggled as you watched Charlie mess around in front of the painted brick wall you had chosen for your backdrop.

You watched him obey you, his face growing serious as he posed, in what you assumed was supposed to be sexy.

“You look like you want to eat the camera,” you laughed, as you began snapping pictures, your words brought a small chuckle out of him – his eyes shutting and a wide grin adorning his face. You snapped the picture without a second thought, bringing your camera away from your face to look at the finished product.

You smiled as your eyes settled on the last picture, he looked genuinely happy, “This one’s –”

“Perfect.”

Your words caught in your throat, your body tensing as you recognized the voice that had spoken behind you. You were quick to turn around, your eyes widening as they focused on the larger figure, “I – thank you.”

He smiled, his eyes not leaving yours as he extended his hand, taking your camera.

“I have to say I’m a bit jealous,” he spoke, beginning to look through the photos you had snapped of Charlie, “I thought you were my photographer.”

You swallowed, “I – uh,”

“C’mon Mendes,” Charlie laughed, walking up to stand next to you, “I had to take advantage of all this talent.”

You blushed as he turned his head to wink at you, before walking away – presumably to place the roses back where he found them. Shawn seemed to not have heard his words, either that or he was ignoring them – his mouth was opened slightly, eyes narrowed as he brought the camera closer to examine whatever photo he was looking at.

You could feel your heart drop into your stomach at the look on his face, you couldn’t recognize if it was good or bad, “I uh – didn’t know what kind of angles you like – so I kinda tried all of them. If you don’t like it I can –”

You cut yourself off as his gaze snapped up to yours, an unreadable expression on his face, “These pictures are stunning.”

You blinked, your mind registering his words as an involuntarily grin escaped you, “Thank you.”

He stepped closer to you, coming to stand to your left. He brought the camera between you, leaning closer so he could show you, “This one – it’s – just wow.”

He stuttered for a moment, your mind blanking as his arm grazed yours, “H –how did you do this?”

“The highlight on you?” You tilted your head as your eyes left the camera and traveled to his face. He nodded, running his tongue over his lips as he looked back at you.

“I – I,” you swallowed, trying to calm your breaths, “I followed the pattern of lights, waiting for the right one.”

He chuckled, “You make it sound easy.”

“It was,” you shrugged, a surge of confidence waving through you at the sensation of his eyes trained solely on you, “I had a good subject.”

He laughed again, his eyes crinkling as he straightened up, leaning away from you, “I suppose you did,” his eyes traveled behind you, nodding at something, “I should go.”

You nodded, taking your camera back. He turned back to you for a second, “I wanted to apologize again, I’m sorry for mistaking you as a fan.”

“No worries,” you shook your head, “And I didn’t lie. I am a fan – you weren’t too far off.”

You bit your lip at the look on his face, his head tilted down as a sheepish expression spread over him, color filling his already rosy cheeks.

“That – uh- means a lot, thank you.” He said, eyes not meeting yours. You tilted your head with a smile, confused at his sudden shyness. You were tempted to ask him about it, but when your eyes locked on a frazzled Andrew you sighed, “You should head to the curtain – Andrew doesn’t look too pleased.”

He nodded, turning his head to look at Andrew before quickly looking back at you, “Where will you be?”

You blinked, taken aback by the question, a small smile spreading over you, “Around,” you winked, bringing up your camera, “Now go have fun – I like pictures with you smiling in them.”

He smiled, dipping his head; “I’ll see you later?”

You nodded, “Later.”

You watched him walk away, his body disappearing behind the black curtain. Holy shit. You released a shaky breath, why the hell would you tell him you liked pictures of him smiling? You shut your eyes for a moment, you probably sounded like a psycho. He didn’t care what kind of pictures you liked, only that you took them.

You bit your lip as you walked to stand behind the large camera, you adjusted your camera for a moment – trying to forget your embarrassment and calm your breathing.

“Y/n?” You looked over at Andrew, “Don’t worry about taking pictures of everyone he meets, just try to find a few good angles and then you can go get food – you’ve done amazing today.”

You couldn’t resist the smile, “Thank you, Andrew.”

“Anytime,” he nodded, “Shawn just told me about the pictures he saw. I’ve never seen him that impressed with anything.”

You tiled your head, your eyes widening, as Andrew continued, “He seems really happy with you, you don’t know how much that means to me – after Adam … ”

You were tempted to ask what had happened with the mysterious Adam, but you knew better than to pry in things that didn’t concern you.

“That’s – I’m – That means a lot,” you finally managed to say.

He smiled, his eyes traveling to the opening doors to your left, a line of screaming on the outside as the first one walked inside. You smiled at the crying girl, she looked to be a lot younger than you, her wide eyes taking everything in.

You brought your camera up to your eyes, the lens trained on her. Your breath caught in your throat at the expression on her face as she laid her eyes on Shawn for the first time as he walked out from behind the curtain.

You snapped the picture, watching her walk up and practically jump in his arms, shaking as he hugged her. He said something in her ear that made her cry harder, your camera snapping another picture of the emotional exchange.

She separated from him, his face flushed as they stood side by side. He put a hand over her shoulder as they both put up a peace sign. You narrowed your eyes at his close-mouthed smile – a guarded look on his face, bringing your camera down to get a closer look at him.

The second your camera was no longer obstructing your face, his eyes found yours, widening as he saw how close you were. He looked at your camera for a second, before a wide – exaggerated grin spread over his face, winking at the change in your expression.

You rolled your eyes with a grin, bringing your camera up to snap another picture, happy that this time he was smiling – even if it was only for your sake.

Later that night you were up past two am, which was strictly against Andrew’s orders. He had informed everyone that you were to get up early the next morning so that Shawn could participate in some of the interviews in Vancouver, the next stop on the tour.

You rubbed your eyes as you shut your laptop and took it off your lap. You had been editing for the past few hours, even though Andrew told you that the pictures didn’t need to be done so soon.

You were a perfectionist, however, and wanted Shawn to post the pictures of Portland while still in Portland. There was something about seeing your images lining his feed that made you work harder than ever.

You yawned, sitting up in your bunk before quietly jumping out of it. You hazily walked through the bunks, heading toward the kitchen.

You looked up at the curtain that separated the bunks from the living area, your eyes widening at the flashing lights that peaked through. You were tempted to turn back and head to your bunk, but your throat was far too dry to go to bed.

Your hand grabbed the curtain before you could talk yourself out of leaving and opened it, your eyes flickering as they tried to adjust to the brightness of the room.

Your gaze focused on a figure that was lying on the couch, watching what you recognized as ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’.

“Shawn?” You said softly.

He flinched at the sound of your voice, “Y/n?” He sat up quickly on the sofa, turning so he could look at you, a small smile on his face, “What are you doing up?”

You grabbed a glass out of one of the cupboards, filling it with water and leaning on the counter as you watched him, “Was editing some pictures, you?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” He shrugged, his smile fading as he looked down.

“Everything okay?”

He cleared his throat, “Yeah – I just – I miss home, I guess.”

You felt an unrecognizable emotion rock through you as you listened to him, “I love touring, don’t get me wrong, I just – ” He trailed off, fidgeting with the frayed edges of his blanket.

You bit your lip, trying to think of something to say, “I understand. I’ve been gone for barely two days and I’m already homesick.”

He chuckled, the sound surprising him as he swung his feet off the bed, moving the blanket as he looked at you with a smile, “You wanna sit?”

“Sure, thanks,” you sat on the couch, placing your cup on the coffee table as you faced the TV, unsure what to say next.

“Harry Potter huh?” You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, but Shawn didn’t seem to notice, his face lighting up, “Yeah – have you seen it?”

“I went through a pretty intense Harry Potter phase, I think I’ve seen all the movies about fifty times each.”

He began to smile even wider, “Which one’s your favorite?”

“Oh my God.” You groaned, “There’s no way I can choose.”

“Good answer.”

You grinned, turning your body so you were facing him completely, “What’s your house?”

“Gryffindor,” he said without hesitation.

“Really? I would have guessed Hufflepuff.”

He groaned, “Oh God, that’s what everyone says.”

“What’s wrong with Hufflepuff?”

“Nothing – just a bit boring is all.”

Your smile faded as you gasped, “You did not just say that.”

“What are you gonna do about it, eh?” He winked, but you were far too insulted to think about it right then, “Don’t tell me you’re also one of those people that thinks all Slytherins are evil.”

“Guilty,” he shrugged.

“That’s the worst kind of fan!”

“What do you mean?”

“You only like Gryffindor cause that’s the main character’s house.”

“What’s your house then?” Shawn smirked, leaning closer to you, his leg brushing yours.

“Hufflepuff.”

He blinked, straightening up, as he looked over at you, “No way.”

“What?” You smiled, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“Didn’t peg you as the type.”

You smirked, “Not boring enough for you?”

“W- What? No!” He shook his head, “Now you’re making me sound like an asshole!”

“Hufflepuff haters are assholes.”

“I’m not a Hufflepuff hater!” He gasped, placing his hand on his heart in mock hurt.

You hummed, a teasing smile on your face as he pouted next to you.

“I’m not,” he mumbled again, making you start giggling softly, covering your face as you turned away from him.

You heard him huff, before the sofa dipped as he began adjusting himself, stretching his legs until they were practically on your lap.

“Excuse me,” you gestured to his legs, your eyebrows raised.

“I’m not gonna sit here and let you call me a Hufflepuff hater – that’s – it’s unacceptable.”

“So why – ?” You laughed, pointing to his legs as a cheeky smile spread across his face.

“I’m going to pretend you’re not here and enjoy my movie.”

You gasped – it sounded like a mix between a laugh and like you were chocking – and lightly nudged his shoulder. This only made him laugh, and begin moving around until his legs were completely on your lap.

“Wow,” you crossed your arms, sinking back into the couch, but making no move to remove his legs from you.

You were both silent for a few minutes – your mind focused on Hermione getting petrified, until you felt a nudge on your shoulder again, making you turn and face Shawn.

“Why are you a Hufflepuff?”

You opened your mouth, confusion lacing your features, “What?”

“Like – what characteristics make you a Hufflepuff?”

“Oh,” you paused for a moment, never before answering that question, “I guess I’m loyal and friendly – that’s probably it, but my friends say that I could be a Slytherin as well, so I guess it depends.”

He didn’t respond, processing your words for a few moments before a small smile spread over his face, “So you’re kind but evil?”

You groaned again, “Stop saying that they’re evil!”

He raised his hands in mock surrender, “They all served Voldemort!”

“Most of them were too young to know better!”

He shook his head with a smile, obviously enjoying getting a rise out of you, “Not too sure about that.”

You rolled your eyes, “They’re cunning and ambitious – doesn’t sound evil to me.”

“You don’t need to defend the fact that you’re half evil, y/n.” He laughed, throwing his head back, “I’m not going to fire you.”

“You don’t get to decide that,” you winked, “I technically work for Andrew.”

He gasped, his face immediately serious, as he pretended to be offended, “Ouch.”

“Shush,” you nudged his shoulder, “You thought I was a fan – I’m glad you don’t control my paycheck.”

“Hey,” he groaned, “I thought we were over that.”

You laughed, “We are, doesn’t change the fact that Andrew treats me better.”

“I’m letting you watch Harry Potter with me!”

“You’re insulting my house!” Your laughter was growing, and soon it was getting hard to breath, you were practically hiccupping as you tried to contain your breaths.

It took you a minute to realize that Shawn was no longer laughing but was instead watching you with a small smile on his face.

You tried to contain your giggles, holding your stomach as it was beginning to cramp, “What?”

“Nothing,” He shook his head, the grin never leaving his face, “Just good to have a friend I can talk to about Harry Potter.”

You calmed down at his words, your mouth set in a small o, “I agree.”

You turned back to the TV screen, hoping that he didn’t recognize the color in your cheeks, pretending to watch the movie.

“Y/n?” He asked after a few seconds, making you hum in response.

“Our next show is in Vancouver and I haven’t been skating in forever.”

You nodded, looking at him, a bit confused as to where he was going with this, “And I really want to go – but Andrew isn’t going to let me without a reason, so – uh – could you please tell him you think a few shots of me skating would be beneficial …” He trailed off.

You bit your lip, “Yeah – uh – Andrew told me it’d be good to get a few pictures of you enjoying the cities.”

“Thank you,” his smile was so wide that you felt like you were going to melt, “You’re slowly becoming one of my favorite people on this tour.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile; “I already said yes, you don’t need to butter me up more.”

He laughed, “I’m not! It’s good to have someone my age around.”

You were tempted to ask about Geoff since you hadn’t seen him around, but knew it was probably creepy to know about Shawn’s best friends.

“You’re different than I expected,” you said instead.

“Really?” He smiled, making you nod in response, “Yeah – to be completely honest I thought you’d never talk to me – that I’d just take pictures and then edit them alone, Mason was worried I wouldn’t make any friends.”

“Mason?” He tilted his head.

“My brother,” you smiled.

“Oh,” he nodded, “Well I’m glad to be different than you thought.”

You nodded, biting your lip as you turned back to face the TV, the intensity of his gaze hard for you to concentrate.

“It’s 3am,” he mumbled, making you look up at the clock on the wall.

“Should probably get to bed then,” you nodded.

Shawn coughed, slowly removing his legs from your lap, and sitting up. You stood, stretching your back for a moment before looking up at him as he stood as well.

“Night Shawn,” you smiled, taking your glass and placing it in the sink.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he nodded, stretching his arms behind his back – his t-shirt riding up to uncover a small section of his lower stomach, your eyes immediately shutting as you turned away, so he wouldn’t catch the blush coating your cheeks.

“See you,” you mumbled, disappearing behind the curtain before he could say anything else that could make your heart beat faster.

tag list: @egg-in-a-spork @tw-stydiaaf @countingstarsmylove @alone-in-madness

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #shawn mendes one shot #one shot #imagines #imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn

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inexchangeforyoursoul · 7 years

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I know noone is interested, but I’m 6 chapters into this shit and will continue uploading until I’m out of steam

(yeah more of this still-not LawxOC thing) (on a sidenote I saw a post the other day about how lame he is and I hope we all agree that the canon awkward nerd Law is the one where it’s at) (also AO3 and ffn links for those who value their eyesight)

“... it's... angular...”

The baffled comment wakes her from the awe stupor, and she slowly leans back to stand normally again. He's holding the desk piece, which she didn't notice him taking until now, and is pasting the mess at the entrance. Indeed, that's literally the corner of the desk. Anyway, what?

“What do you mean, 'angular'?”

He directs his attention back to the desk piece and takes a closer look at the cut. It's as clean as it can get, alright- but upon closer inspection, it's not one, straight guillotine chop- towards the far end, it splits into smaller shapes, which are not even cubic, but hexagonal.

“When I use the Ope Ope Fruit, it's... well, spherical in nature. Meanwhile, what you did...” he raises the piece of material with the cut well visible to her, “is this.”

She takes it from him, giving the funky cut a good ogle. “I see... each to their own, I guess? People think differently and such, after all.” He nods. That's probably all there is to it.

She puts the bowl on the chest of drawers that Law raided earlier, and turns the other object in her hand around. Then looks back at the bowl. “I guess I needed an extension to my arm, and that's just what happened... Except I was everything but precise.”

He crosses his arms, thinking- her straightforward conclusions make perfect sense. It makes them no less interesting, though. He might want to record her progress and maybe even get into some deeper research if they have time to spare.

As he's thinking about that, she goes back to the damaged piece of furniture and places the missing block to where it belongs. It will probably need some glue to make sure it stays put, but otherwise? Looking as good as new.

“Well, I'm off to get this mess under control. Meanwhile you could... get into some clothes you are comfortable in?” Now that she noticed, she's really wondering about that. “Which you haven't done yet for some reason?”

Law needs a second to process the question before the penny drops- he's been going through a whole wardrobe, but never even thought about changing. He just about forgot about the dress-induced cramp from earlier. Fiddlesticks.

“Right...” Good thing he's not the type to show embarrassment. Thankfully, she seems satisfied enough with the meager answer and makes her way downstairs with the not entirely wrecked bowl in her hands; meanwhile, he steps back to the bed to pick out a shirt with those rhinestone jeans he's definitely gonna wear just for the hell of it.

After a quick survey of what Kat's left in his stack (and resisting a tee with golden pressed pattern for the time being), he settles on a simple black shirt with some small embroidery on its left. It has the town's name, and by association, its likely crest. Must have been some free merchandise. Now, for the problem at hand...

He'll have to take the dress off, which should pose no problem, in theory. He's also a doctor, been there, done that. The impasse is at not being sure where to begin... there's no buttons or zips he's noticed. The neck seems little too small, but he should probably just pull it over his head nonetheless. The test run never starts, however, because as soon as he grabs the end of the fabric, Kat is coming up, into and out of the bathroom, then reenters her study-slash-bedroom.

“Never mind me,” She says kneeling down with a broom and dustpan to the semi-garbage pile in the doorway, immediately putting a clipped pencil and some undamaged sticky notes aside. Noticing the dead silence, she checks on Law to see him ogling her. Then clearing his throat.

Oh, that's what's going on.

“Sorry... it's hard to remember that you are supposed to care about privacy... I've either been alone or sharing one bathroom-slash-toilet with five other people. Won't look, alright?” With that, she steps over the pile and turns around to clean up the mess that way instead.

He blinks, hands still holding onto the skirt. “Dude...” Whether he's willing to strip with her around, -in his own body, nonetheless, which is the one thing that makes this really weird,- is one thing, but also, that was more detail than he'd ever need.

Which she catches onto almost immediately. Goddammit. “Oh... sorry again, you may have already noticed I don't have a lot of filters. Anyway, thinking about it... if anything, it's our own current bodies that we shouldn't be looking at, no?” She asks, musing. He kinda agrees. “By the way, unbutton the back first, or you'll never peel that dress off.”

Noted. He releases the fabric to fiddle around his neck. Which is really dumb, how is he even supposed to reach there easily, her arms apparently being flexible enough to do so notwithstanding...? Actually, why do clothes for women even have buttons and zippers in places like that all the time? It's so unpractical... eh, there's probably some sexy factor. Either way, this.. is not getting him... anywhere...

“... um...”

“Need help?” She asks just about the time he's given up on the two buttons he managed to find at least, sweeping the leftovers she deemed disposable onto the pan.

“... I do...” And it's such a simple task, too... Those times when he could just snap a finger and get rid off everything he had no patience getting out of after a long day? Yeah, he remembers those. Good ones.

“Alright, let me see,” she mumbles walking up to him. As he doesn't react past standing still, she takes matters- that is, her hair- in her own hands.

Every single strand of his sticks up from the sensation. He's always been picky about letting his hair being touched, but the same with long hair is worse... the less ticklish and more nerve-stroking, odd feeling on the nape that sends shivers down his spine is not something he'll want to experience again any time soon. The locks fall over his shoulders, then he feels a warm finger on his back for the shortest moment and the collar loosen shortly after. Thank god it's over.

“I see you are uncomfortable... sorry about that.” she says with a sheepish half-smile, feeling somewhat embarrassed because of that herself.

He shivers once more. “Never mind, had worse. Anyway, I'd rather do this without you being around, okay?” He says, tucking the hair back.

“Well then...” She is about to go and bring out the trash, but before even taking one step, she takes his hat off on a whim. “This will be in the way, though.”

“Ah...” His hand instinctively reaches towards it and he sounds almost... disappointed- and is beating himself up for both immediately after.

Aw.

She offers it back to him. “I won't take it anywhere if you don't like.” He takes it away with a hum, but doesn't look like putting it anywhere anytime soon. Peeking at the nodachi she propped up against the wall upon arrival, she comes to the realization that letting him keep it is actually counterproductive: the item on her body's head could eventually get them both into trouble. It's way too easy to have an outsider get the wrong and dangerous idea. He's a wanted man for various reasons, and she could be seen as a weak point. Law could get targeted while he's stuck inside her, but at least help would be ready at an arm's length; Kat herself could, however, also get into deep shit if the trouble hits after they get their bodies back and the alliance is long gone. They would probably come back or send help because of people like Nami and Chopper, who were also likely the only reason they stuck around to help her and the townspeople taken hostage last week, but still, this is bad in either scenario. She sighs. “I think you do agree that it's probably a bad idea to wear it yourself out in public, though. No?”

Hearing this breaks him free from the frigid haze. He doesn't like it, but he knows what he means and she's right, hell, late with the reasonable remark as they already marched down the main street like this. “Yes, it's... indeed a bad idea.”

He reaches the fluffy piece back over to her after giving it a thoughtful stroke.

“I'll take good care of it,” she assures him, giving her own hand a small squeeze before taking it. “I'll be your coat rack while outside, and you'll have your stuff back as soon as we're back on the ship, alright?”

He nods, to which the answer's a reassuring smile. “Well then... I'll let you do your thing. Will come back up in about 10 minutes, is that okay?”

“Yeah,” he says, still feeling a little naked with the hat gone just like that. She puts latter on to make her hands free for the other stuff, then takes the door by the foot and hop-drags it until it counts as closed, somehow keeping all the paper and whatnot in the dustpan while at it. She could have used the broom to do that... but she's rather goofy, so whatever. Indeed, he can hear her hum a tune while leaving. He shouts after her:

“Slick it back, otherwise the hair will just annoy you.” There's a brief stop outside, followed by a muffled 'got it'.

Before long, he can barely hear anything she does. He looks back at the clothes, but stops to rub her fingers a bit before changing. First, he thought that his body's temperature seemed really high... but it's her hands that are as cold as ice.

#Kate writes #KMKY

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lorilane33 · 7 years

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Chicon 2017

Okay. So this is my write up of what my weekend was like in Chicago this past weekend. I flew in Friday morning and left the hotel Monday morning. This is 1,700 words and if you don’t want to read it, I’m totally fine with it.

This convention is my second this year. Hell, it’s my second this SUMMER. I was lucky enough to buy the winning t-shirt for the gold pass in Rob Benedict’s Rock God campaign. I arrived Friday morning at 8:30am and saw the meager line of women waiting for preregistration to start. If you know me, you know that I am an extrovert. However, I tend to have a lot of introverted tendencies when I’m around people I don’t know. I tend to seek out the background and fly under the radar, but since I was alone at this con I KNEW I had to step out of my comfort zone and make some friends fast or else I would be alone and bored. So I went over to a group of girls who were talking animatedly about something related to Supernatural (what, I can’t remember), and I just sat down and started talking with them. Instantly I felt a connection with three of them, and one of them turned out to be the girl I ran around with alllllllll weekend.

I had my photo op with Rob that day, and I told him that I was the gold pass winner for his campaign and he was so excited that I chose Chicon to attend. He then remembered me for the rest of the weekend and whenever I saw him he’d ask how my weekend was going. I also listened to Kim and Briana’s panel, which made me cry twice. Briana for being amazingly emotional and proud of Wayward Daughters, and Kim for being so amazing in telling her story. She’s become such an inspiration to me when it comes to taking control of your brokenness and putting yourself back together, and being okay that there are scars. I then cried when I met her at her auto table. I told her about how she’s inspired me, and then I started crying and she reached across to hold my hand while she gave her response. Gah I freaking love that woman. Friday Night Karaoke was a blast, and insane like always. Moving into Saturday.

I was in the costume contest, and @sdavid09 was too! We had no idea though until later that day. After the contest I decided I NEEDED a picture with Mark since I was dressed as Demon!Dean and it was too perfect. So I speed-walked my face off to the ops table and bought a Mark photo op and speed-walked down to the photo room, making it with five minutes to spare before he had to go up for his panel. The photo turned out AMAZINGGGGG (but because of the nature of my job I’m not going to post it. If you’d like to see my ops, I am more okay with sending them through a message if you’d like. :) ). I met up with @sassy-losechester then I went to @sdavid09‘s room and played Supernatural Clue while eating pizza with her and @hannah-addicted while I waited for the concert to start. IT WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS. We had tea lights for Rob when he sang “She Waits”, and he cried. It was a very touching moment. THEN SUNDAY ROLLED AROUND.

I went to the gold panel with J2 and laughed so hard. I was so glad to have had the opportunity to listen to those goofballs live. Then came their afternoon panel, and that was just as good, if not better. Jared and Jensen have both become such important people in my life and I wouldn’t be who I am today without their inspiration in my life. Jared, for his campaigns and raising awareness of mental illnesses that are a real thing, but are looked down upon. He gave me the courage to speak out about my struggles and to be proud of the fact that I’m still fighting, I’m here for a reason, and my story can be used to help other people.

And Jensen. Holy oh my lanta this man. People always asked me in college why I loved Supernatural so much and I always brought up the fact that the actors themselves are incredible people, which would lead into a conversation about what each of the three boys (Jensen, Jared and Misha) have done for me. Jared is easy. See above paragraph. Misha is easy. He reminds me that kindness makes the world go round and that it’s important to help others. But when I’d get to Jensen, I could only ever think of how he’s come out of his shell in the past few years with his singing. But that hadn’t really have a positive impact on my life, or inspired me to be a better me. I was extroverted, I put myself out there a lot and was generally friends with everyone. So I just tagged him onto the YANA campaign with Misha (at this time the I AM ALIVE network had not been created yet). And I’d move along to the next topic. Little did I know though, Jensen’s courage DID end up inspiring me, just, three years later than I hoped it would. If you know me at all, and/or you have talked to me regularly enough for me to actually talk to you about deep dark stuff, you know that I’ve had a pretty rough go at this whole mother/daughter relationship thing. And more times than not I’ve probably told you a story or five to help reiterate the level of unhealthy my relationship with my mother was at. Up until the last six or so months that is.

I had been watching con video after con video, finding solace in the conversations that were taking place within the fandom and the cast. As I watched, I realized that over the years Jensen has gotten progressively more involved in the singing part of things to the point where he’s singing at some SNS, and recording on Jason’s albums. I finally thought to myself ‘if Jensen can get the guts to do something like this and not go cry in a hole, then I can have a simple conversation with my mother.’ So I did. We talked. We have had FOUR heart to hearts over the last six months, and now our relationship is basically what it should have been for the last fifteen years. I would not have bit the bullet if it hadn’t of been for Jensen.

SOOOO. Not sorry about the rant, it was lead up to what happened on Sunday. When I got to Chicon, I had every intention of getting EITHER a Jared/Misha OR a Jensen/Misha photo op. Just so I could have one of the boys in my weekend. But ask @arryn-nyxx @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog and @dustycelt. I was debating back and forth for WEEKS about which op I wanted to get. Well I ended up with both. I couldn’t decide, and I love them both and owe them so much.

I go through the Jensen/Misha op, and I had it look like we were taking a selfie while making faces, no problems, and really hardly any interaction. We were all on a time crunch to get Misha to the airport and they were BOOKING IT through those ops. And like five minutes later I was back downstairs for my Jared/Misha. I get up to the front of the line and look at MIsha and go, “Hey! We’re taking a selfie again,” and he goes, “Okay sounds good!” and I took my place between them for the photo. Chris was standing there fiddling with his camera for a few seconds, so we were just waiting. But then Jared, being Jared, started dancing along to the music that was playing in the photo op room. Not only was he dancing, he was full on grinding up against my hip as the music played. Full on Padalecki butt to my hip contact was happening. I was so dumbfounded that all I could do was start laughing and say, “JARED!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” as he was bumping me into Misha at this point. Then the dork starts laughing his big belly laugh, which makes me laugh harder, and then at that point Chris decides he’s ready to take the picture. Jared being the actor he is went into serious mode and made the face perfectly, while I’m still standing there trying to make a face through my tears and laughter. And then as I walked away he freaking winked at me. That man, I swear.

After the hilarity that happened with Jared it was time for autos with J2. I got up to Jared’s table, and we talked about the semicolon tattoo I have that I plan on adding on to, and I told him thank you for everything. I received a very animated high five and another wink as I moved on. Then I got to Jensen’s line and started to get nervous. I knew I had to tell him thank you, but in a way that was positive and not crossing any lines. I made my way through the line and finally arrived in front of him and my moment had come. As he was signing my coffee mug I simply said his name to get his attention, and then proceeded to thank him from the bottom of my heart for what he’s done for me, and what he’s helped me accomplish. The rest of the moment is a very personal one and became more intimate than I ever thought it would be, and I feel like keeping that part to myself. But tears were shed, and I will forever be grateful for Jensen being in my life. Some of you know exactly what took place between Jensen and myself, and that means that you know about my history with my mom and you knew how big this moment was for me. I had every intent of thanking him when I got to Chicon this year, and I wanted you to know that I succeeded. If you don’t know, that’s okay. Just know that Jensen has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen and he truly cares, so very much.

#Chicon #chicon 2017 #chicago con #SPN Family #Jared Padalecki #Jensen Ackles #Briana Buckmaster #Kim Rhodes #Rob Benedict #what a weekend

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flauntpage · 5 years

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Actually, Gabe Kapler Isn’t Just Throwing Darts

I’m interested in lineup construction. I want to know why a manager hits certain guys in certain spots and what exactly goes into the thought process as he mixes and matches a lineup to counteract an opposing team’s arms.

Most of the time, a manager’s lineup decisions are self-evident, while sometimes the tinkering might be a slight deviation from conventional wisdom. Occasionally, those deviations are more extreme. When this happens, such decisions typically elicit a skeptical “what the hell is this?” from observers.

As the Phillies continue their ongoing efforts to spark an inconsistent lineup that has underperformed for much of the season, that question has been asked more frequently of manager Gabe Kapler’s lineups.

Kapler certainly raised some eyebrows earlier this week when he put the struggling Rhys Hoskins, a hitter who has spent the bulk of his career in the middle of the order, atop his lineup prior to Wednesday night’s game.

Rhys Hoskins is batting leadoff? Why the hell is Rhys Hoskins batting leadoff?

If you think I’m making up a false reaction for the sake of providing a framework for this piece, well, I’m not.

Do a Twitter search for the terms “Kapler” and “lineup” together and see what comes up. There’s a critic or two – or 500.

“Does Gabe Kapler just throw darts at a board to pick his lineup?”

As it turns out, he doesn’t.

Hoskins, who entered Wednesday night’s game in the midst of a hideous 2 for 32 stretch over a nine-game span in which he failed to knock in a run, singled in his first at-bat and later recorded his first RBI since August 3 with a sacrifice fly.

He hasn’t exactly heated up since being put in the leadoff spot – going only 1 for 6 – but he has reached base three times in addition to that sacrifice fly in nine total plate appearances.

I asked Kapler prior to Thursday’s wild walk-off win that completed a rejuvenating three-game sweep of the Cubs about lineup construction, what factors go into the changes he makes, and about Hoskins’ move to the leadoff spot.

I found his answers to be insightful. I’ll interject with some thoughts along the way.

Crossing Broad: How do you weigh out your lineup? Say Rhys gets hot in the leadoff spot, right? Because he’s back in there tonight, and he’s starts to gain some traction, do you look at that and say, “Okay, now he’s getting going, so we’re going to leave him there?” Or do you say, “His natural positioning should be in the middle of the order, so now let’s transition him back.”

Kapler: It’s such a good question, and it’s something that we think about every day.

Thanks, Gabe. Continue.

Kapler: Every day is looked at as it’s own unique entity. Because you’re facing a different pitcher everyday. Players are dealing with different emotions and adjustments they need to make everyday, and you’re trying to account for what the opposing manager and club is going to do. So by way of example, you saw us have Harper at the top of the lineup on several occasions. We also at that point had Haseley down at the bottom of the lineup, or you’ve seen some other guys who haven’t performed historically as well against left (left-handed pitching) down at the bottom of the lineup. And what we saw is that opposing managers are going to try to take advantage of that, so they will have their best left-handed reliever available for the bottom of the lineup, take him all the way through the top and try to get Harper, too.

So, for example, this is just an exercise in lineup construction, game strategy, etc. If Harper is our leadoff hitter today, and Haseley is our eight-hole hitter, and our best options off the bench are left-handed, you can envision a scenario where they’re going to bring their best left-handed reliever in to force us to use maybe a lesser right-handed option, or if we use Logan Morrison by way of example, they’ve got left-left-left to go through with Harper at the top.

Right, so the first thing to consider is the matchup with the opposing starting pitcher. Taking a player’s psyche into consideration is part of the equation as well as how an opponent’s bullpen is best suited to attack the lineup in the later innings. Pretty standard stuff. Matchups and make sure the the player can mentally handle it.

Obviously, the Phillies don’t view Harper as a prototypical leadoff hitter given he hasn’t hit there most nights, but with the offense tanking, they thought his on-base skills could provide a spark. Of National League hitters with at least 300 plate appearances this season, Harper’s 15.6% walk-rate is third. He’s also been productive in eight games out of the leadoff spot with a .972 OPS, but that positioning became problematic when opponents countered in late innings against their left-handed heavy offense. More Gabe:

Kapler: So we’re constantly thinking about best lineup construction, staggering left and right against a right-handed pitcher, the mental well-being of the player in question – in this case Rhys – and try to balance all of those things. I don’t think it’s any magic formula.

I think it’s considering all of those angles on a daily basis and then getting ready to explain it to people so it makes sense. Because if you don’t have these kinds of conversations, it just looks like you’re kind of randomly selecting people to put into spaces. When in reality, from the time the game ends, you’re planning that out until we get to this moment today and literally having conversations about it throughout the night.

Kapler and the Phillies organization are often criticized for ignoring the human element of baseball. You hear things all of the time like how Kapler needs to “go with his gut” in the dugout or how he needs to “get off his computer,” but such comments are a bit of an oversimplification.

Do we know what “going with his gut” means, or what his “computer” says? Often, something like this gets said when a decision backfires, not because it was gut versus analytics.

In fact, the term “analytics” gets grossly overused in this city because we often don’t know what specific data is part of the equation for certain decisions, nor do we know how each of the equations variables are weighted. Instead, it simply serves as an umbrella term to lazily explain away what we may not be able to explain at a basic level.

Phillies. Numbers. Analytics. Bad. The end.

Interestingly, one of the most common critiques of Kapler as a manager is the supposed lack of continuity in his lineups, but the facts show that when compared to how other teams juggle their lineups, Kapler has done it way less than his contemporaries this season.

After using a staggering 138 different batting order combinations a season ago, the Phillies have used only 74 different lineups this season. Only the Braves (64) have used less combinations among NL teams. In fact, five of the NL’s top six offenses have used more combinations this season. Have a look:

Dodgers 101

Braves 64

Rockies 102

Diamondbacks 92

Nationals 85

Cubs 109

For further context, the 2010 Phillies used 94 different batting order combinations, and the 2011 Phillies used 105, so while Kapler isn’t exactly plugging in the same eight guys in the same eight spots every day (and why would he with an offense that is in the bottom-third of the league in several statistical categories?), his lineup iterations are comparatively conservative this season, and they also aren’t an outlier to Manuel’s teams.

As for Hoskins, Kapler feels accentuating his best qualities as a hitter might get him to relax a little bit.

“Why is Rhys Hoskins who he is as a hitter? What is his best skill? Getting on base. Two things: hit home runs and get on base,” he said. “But the get on base thing is the most important thing. More than steal a base, be on base. Because you can’t steal first base. You gotta get there.”

It’s obvious the Phillies and Kapler don’t view Hoskins as a long-term solution in the leadoff spot. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s out of there at some point this weekend against the Padres. Then again, the Phillies have scored 18 runs in two games with Hoskins leading off. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Right?

Not exactly.

Kapler: It’s so important because sometimes I’ll find, I’ll take you back like several weeks. There was one point and we won a game, and I had heard through the grapevine that there was a conversation coming into the dugout. There was a different lineup up, and the narrative was like you don’t change the lineup after a win, that was something I heard from one specific guy, and I realized that’s really how a lot of people feel, right?

In those situations it’s really important to draw attention to the best teams in baseball over the last 20 years and how they actually do change lineups based on the opposing starting pitcher or trying to get a guy going at the top of the lineup.

Right or wrong, I don’t know. What I do know is that while you may not like Kapler’s methodology or thought process as he constructs his lineups on a daily basis, he’s not just throwing darts.

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flauntpage · 5 years

Text

Actually, Gabe Kapler Isn’t Just Throwing Darts

Rhys Hoskins is batting leadoff? Why the hell is Rhys Hoskins batting leadoff?

If you think I’m making up a false reaction for the sake of providing a framework for this piece, well, I’m not.

Do a Twitter search for the terms “Kapler” and “lineup” together and see what comes up. There’s a critic or two – or 500.

“Does Gabe Kapler just throw darts at a board to pick his lineup?”

As it turns out, he doesn’t.

He hasn’t exactly heated up since being put in the leadoff spot – going only 1 for 6 – but he has reached base three times in addition to that sacrifice fly in nine total plate appearances.

I found his answers to be insightful. I’ll interject with some thoughts along the way.

Kapler: It’s such a good question, and it’s something that we think about every day.

Thanks, Gabe. Continue.

Do we know what “going with his gut” means, or what his “computer” says? Often, something like this gets said when a decision backfires, not because it was gut versus analytics.

Phillies. Numbers. Analytics. Bad. The end.

Dodgers 101

Braves 64

Rockies 102

Diamondbacks 92

Nationals 85

Cubs 109

As for Hoskins, Kapler feels accentuating his best qualities as a hitter might get him to relax a little bit.

Not exactly.

Right or wrong, I don’t know. What I do know is that while you may not like Kapler’s methodology or thought process as he constructs his lineups on a daily basis, he’s not just throwing darts.

The post Actually, Gabe Kapler Isn’t Just Throwing Darts appeared first on Crossing Broad.

Actually, Gabe Kapler Isn’t Just Throwing Darts published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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