#on account of the headaches xo

[nozomijoestar]

I WON THE WAR AGAINST THE WORD DOCUMENT; LA VIE EN ROSE...2!

FF.Net upload | Part 1 post

*I reccomend listening to Sade's 'The Sweetest Taboo' from the last mention of it raining in the story to the ending

READING LIST:

@tofucasserole @xo-mochi @headlessstar @gingeralesy @pierogi-z-czeresniami @dyke-a-saur @denizloves

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     2 L'ESPRIT

Asuka wiped the last of the polish off her bike frame. She’d almost had a heart attack brushing the grime weeks ago to find newborn rust spots. Under this mid-July heat and rain showers she wasn’t in the mood for dumb gambles. For an entire day rust was the first thing she nipped in the bud. Be it at morning or afternoon into sunset she picked and picked then turned to maintenance and replacing all the bolts. Lately she couldn’t pick on Lili for wiping down every few minutes; the humidity stuffed Asuka’s mouth with cotton. Dad’s muscle flares needed more ice while he swallowed a whimper. The three of them practically wore fly paper for clothes, their sweat stuck everything the same.

She wiped her forehead with the clean end of her rag, huffing hot air. A cicada buzzed somewhere. She leaned back and tossed the rag onto a huge cardboard box beside her feet. The bottom bracket and chain had been beyond saving, so were the tires. She had no choice but to give the bike a new heart.

‘I’m gonna turn you into a twelve speed!’ she’d thought.

She’d placed the order for a cassette, bracket, and chain three weeks ago. And that was as far as she’d gotten. There were too many damn choices! Should she stick with parts she was used to for the important areas? Should she go completely new? How much was safe to modify before the bike would ride her and not the other way around?

Thinking hard made her head hurt. The bike had never been a question before beyond if it performed decent for as cheap as possible. But now, now there was a debit card tempting her to burn a hole in her wallet. She had never owned one in her life. The bank teller put it in her hand after she gave her name, and there it was raised on plastic. Several million yen in one place, converted from some of Lili’s ‘pocket money’ into an account she’d opened for Asuka. Holding the desk counter kept her from blacking out on the spot. She remembered Lili mentioning it while flying to Japan; Asuka just blinked at her, speechless. What was it supposed to be if not another trick?

Well, she couldn’t refuse. She stretched and felt her shoulders pop.

“How’s it coming along kid?”

“Still don’t know what I wanna do.”

Dad stopped beside where she had her bike resting on cinderblocks. The entire thing was stripped down to the frame and its dark blue paint shining in the sun. Today his face had color; he didn’t limp or freeze when walking over. He smiled at her. That gave her confidence.

“Whatever you decide on I know it’ll be something you’re proud of.”

He sat next to her on the parts crate after she cleared space. He put his chin in his hand.

“I remember buying you this one since I biked with my friends as a boy. I wish you could’ve had that yourself, but tinkering comes close I suppose.”   

“Wish doing the work wasn’t such a headache. Thinking sucks.” She sighed, resting her chin on both hands.

Dad chuckled and clapped her on the back.

“That’s the freedom that comes with growing up! Get started shouldering it now before you’re too old.”

She pouted but let him ruffle her hair. All his cheer evaporated. A grimace brought out the rough lines of his face.

“I’m not gonna be around forever y’know.”

“…Don’t say that to me.” Her voice walked a tightrope.

“Heh! Your pissed off face has gotten better! I’d hate to be some punk’s made you mad now.”

She didn’t grin back and he dropped his act. They said nothing. She didn’t want to tempt this heaviness lurking inside. From a distance the front door slid open.

“Asuka? Quit playing with grease, I must show you something most wonderful.”

Her right eye twitched. Lili glided around the corner in her practice clothes sporting the cockiest smile Asuka had ever seen. She moved so pleased with herself that Asuka’s brow rose realizing she didn’t care about dirtying her bare feet. This was serious. When she saw Dad, Lili went cool and calm. She cleared her throat.

“Mr. Kazama, since you are here as well I’d appreciate your opinion.”

“Of course. Begin whenever you’re ready.”

She set herself into stance; legs shoulder width apart, back straight but not tense, hands open palmed with one low the other at chest height. It was the same way she’d always readied herself, but this time she looked relaxed. Patient, not loose.

Letting out a cry Lili threw herself forward launching her left leg toward an imaginary center. She flung up her arms, pivoting the moment her toes hit ground and twirled, right leg rising as she spun. In the time it took to blink Lili’s right leg snapped into the end of a roundhouse kick. There was no way Asuka could describe it, other than a ballerina imitating a kung-fu movie. And yet somehow, it looked like it would fucking hurt. With an exhale Lili reset her stance.

Then she went low twisting her torso right and thrusting an open palm toward chest height on her rise. She leaned into it until the motion stood her up again. Lili paused for breath. Then she turned around, eyes narrowing as she pictured an attacker. Now it was all striking; she rushed chopping with her left hand where a jaw would be. Asuka leaned forward. Lili turned and rammed her elbow backward, gritting her teeth. Crying out she lifted her arms in time with her left leg. It whipped backward cutting the air forcefully; Asuka’s bangs fluttered.

She winced feeling debris in her eye; when she rubbed it out Lili smirked at her. Finished, she gave a bow, awaiting their approval. Where to start, how to start? What the hell was Asuka supposed to say? Dad should know. She looked at him. His mouth hung open. Asuka felt her spirit bury its face in its hands. Lili’s stare started lingering; the corner of her mouth twitched.

“Well?”

“It’s uh…”

She looked at her father, but his face told her to take a shot at this.

‘Damnit old man!’

Just get it out already.

“It’s one of the crazier things you’ve come up with. But, your hits are strong. Your timing could be tighter but that’ll improve with practice. What’s important is you know your base. And you’ll need a stronger core to maintain enough balance from move to move.”

“Hmm…very good Asuka. I’d add that your kicks were a few centimeters too high. The strikes tapered off and got a little sloppy by the end. Don’t be afraid over leaning into your momentum. That hesitation from overcorrecting will cost you.”

Now Asuka gave him a wide eyed stare; her heart stopped. Those were too many negatives! Reflexively she glanced at Lili, she’d be pissed-

Lili stood unreadable, except for the deep thought in her eyes. Her mouth pursed not enough to be angry but instead contemplative. She started rubbing her chin absentmindedly.

‘Seriously?’

“I see. I shall take this into consideration.”

“When you feel you’ve fixed it come demonstrate again. Matter of fact Asuka should help you improve in no time! Ain’t that right girl?”

Lili smiled at her something wicked. She’d always be some kind of pain.

“Sure…”

“Then it’s settled, thanks for the showing.”

“The pleasure is mine sir.”

He got to his feet groaning into a stretch. A few cricks popped in his neck but he recovered before his wince turned into a grimace. The hairs on her nape rose, but he seemed alright after a once over. He checked his watch.

“Time for my walk today. You girls mind the house good while I’m out. Let me know right away if anything comes up. Be back in an hour or so.”

“Go slow and don’t forget your painkillers.” She called after him.

“Aye aye, already wearin’ ‘em.” He said patting his pocket.

Then they watched him hobble and turn past the gate then close it behind himself; he was gone. Her eyes narrowed at Lili, an annoyed groan rumbled in her throat.

“What?”

“He gets to advise ya however he wants but I gotta not step on your princess toes.”

Lili put a hand on her hip, tucking loose hairs behind her ear. She huffed.

“There’s respect for one’s elders; then there’s one’s peers. Quite simple a concept, Asuka Kazama.”

She shot up, hands balled, her nostrils flaring.

“Ya wanna fight?”

“Not particularly.” Lili threw back, teasing the hint of a smile.

Her stare traced different parts of Asuka’s face; hovering over…her lips? A tingle raced up her spine. She had to be reading into it too hard. But suddenly she felt a poke as Lili tapped her chest. It was just enough force that Asuka’s balance stumbled; she heard her giggle. So she pushed her.  Not hard, but when it was Lili’s turn stumbling she smirked at her, as nasty as she could make it. There was only a pause for Lili’s rising brow. Back and forth they shoved each other until someone gave and they fell to the ground.

They rolled around, tussling, cursing, and tangling but Asuka wrestled on top of her with ease. Pinning Lili under her weight she seized her arms and pressed them above Lili’s head. She sucked her teeth.

“Fair’s fair! From now on I get to be honest about your technique the way I wanna talk about it!”

“…Fine. Since you insist, you pest.” Lili huffed.

She let her go and caught her breath.

“Stubborn moron.” She grumbled.                                   

Asuka started feeling comfortable again when everything turned unbearably warm. She looked down. Her heart stopped. She was straddling Lili, who didn’t mind much at all. Instead she saw her little smile that managed to be either self-satisfied or a tease. Scowling, Asuka got off and pulled her up; she wasn’t giving Lili any ideas. Certainly not for free. They dusted themselves but being sticky with sweat barely mattered. What she wouldn’t give for a bath right now.

“Now that you’ve let that out your system this weather is far from my liking.”

She felt a chill watching Lili’s eyes; this girl wanted something.

‘Wait a minute…’

Already Lili was on the move striding toward the front door. Even if she stood taller than Asuka and had longer reach Asuka speed walked right behind her.

“Oh no you don’t, hey! Get back here!”

Immediately she saw her break into a run. The door rattled open. Lili’s blonde hair vanished inside just as the frame came within reach.  In a split second Asuka had two choices; try outpacing her, or boost the air around her own legs. But if she did the easier thing she might tear through the floor boards. She sucked her teeth. There was no time! She threw her muscles alone into overdrive.

“Let me wash first you’re gonna take forever in there!”

“The early bird shall seize the worm!”

“Shaddup!”

Asuka slid into a stop, ashamed to feel herself stumble up the stairs. How the hell was this girl so unfazed? Their footsteps thundered, the only thing filling her ears. Suddenly Lili went right; Asuka threw herself reaching out her hand…then crashed onto the floor. The bathroom door shut. She scrambled, getting back up when she heard her voice muffled through the walls.

“I’m undressing as we speak. Don’t you dare step inside.”  

Asuka huffed and sat leaning against the wall. What stupid luck.  She crossed her arms over her knees, resting her eyes. Then after a moment the water rushed on; Lili began humming. She’d never listened before, because why the hell would she give her that? But it was either waiting here or trailing any dirt that shook off into her room sooner rather than later. And besides, if Lili came out and found her missing, Asuka would have given her the last word.

The humming grew louder bouncing into an upbeat melody. She couldn’t help listening, tapping her fingers on her knee without thinking. She didn’t catch herself smiling.

Scrolling the web on her phone numbed her mind. Classes crawled by on their last day; every teacher wanted to spin a lecture on behaving over summer break. Her bag sat bulging with homework at her feet under her lunch desk. She glanced around. Everyone looked like they were either talking themselves into a standstill or just hanging out. She turned back to her phone. G-Corp armies had crossed the border of another South American country. Asuka flipped her phone shut. She gripped it and her knuckles went white. There was nowhere she could put this feeling of uselessness.

Her eyes fell on the time. Where was Lili? They had forty minutes left. Sure that was the entire lunch period ahead but Lili would never skip.

‘Maybe her class ran late.’

That didn’t entirely make sense, classes here were strict blocks, but it was as good as she could guess.

‘Maybe they want everyone to stay with their year on the last day.’

She waited. Then she packed her empty bento box away. She waited. Should she go looking for her? Her mind mulled it over while her body grabbed her bag and left the classroom. Asuka would never leave her stuff around these idiots in a million years.

Going down a floor was easy enough. When she got to the lower hallway some second year friend circle hid their drinks and lowered their conversations as she passed. Of course people here would’ve heard too. She saw about an even split of people eating or sitting in class and people hanging around the hallways. But the longer she went the crowds started thinning, until there was only a girl holding a bucket of water. The girl stood outside her class door clenching it with both hands. A bead of sweat rolled down her chin when Asuka stopped to cringe. She didn’t even know this school still pulled that old punishment.

“Standin’ in tha’ hall for missin’ homework…Mogami River…” the girl murmured to herself, exhausted.

“Yo.”

“Uwagh! An upperclassman!”

“Sorry ta’ bother ya. Ya in this class with tha’ foreign transfer girl?”

“H-How’d ya know? I mean yeah.”

“I wanna talk with her.”

The girl sighed and the effort made her slouch.

“Tough luck, ya came at the worst time. Teach is keeping us in for lunch. Some lecture about current world events and feelin’ involved.”

“Seriously?”

They looked in through the window on the room’s rear door. Inside most second years had their food out and sat eyes forward. At the front a teacher paced up and down, pausing sometimes to write on the blackboard. She couldn’t make anything out clearly. But she found Lili by the beacon that was her blonde hair. She sat in a middle row not back enough that she’d see Asuka easily, but not so thick in everyone else. She wasn’t looking anywhere but the teacher’s face anyway. Her fork played with her food without Lili giving how rude that was any mind.  

The teachers voice Asuka could make out in muffled sections. She heard phrases like ‘remain vigilant’ and ‘remain in touch with family’ or ‘cherish your loved ones’. He told people to not panic but remain cautious. Every topic bent Lili more and more out of shape. Asuka could tell; her shoulders began slouching, her body seemed rigid. Her head tilted the way it did when she knew she’d been called out but was pretending otherwise. She seemed…sad.

Asuka felt chills; what the hell would steal that girl’s confidence?

“So ya see, everybody’s stuck ‘ere, probably ‘till school’s out.”

“S’alright. Thanks fer tha’ help.”

“Yeah! Any time.”

She looked down. The girl’s hands were a flaming red.

“…Why not put tha’ bucket down when no one’s watchin’.”

“Ah. I said I’d hold it, so I’m holdin’ it!”

Asuka shrugged.

“Guess I can respect that.”

School finally ended a bit later, and this time they would meet. She went straight to Lili’s classroom the moment the bell rang. Everyone but those on cleaning duty crowded as they left; she didn’t spot her. Then she felt eyes at the back of her head and knew.

“How polite of you to meet me first for once.”

“Yeah yeah. Ya went missing earlier so I’m here to collect.”

“No need in feeling shy; your gesture is appreciated. My teacher most unfortunately prevented our lunch appointment.”

Asuka gripped her bag strap. Her eyes narrowed.

“Walk and talk with me.”

They tailed the thinning crowds heading for the shoe lockers. From the corner of her eye she watched Lili top to bottom. Her mood seemed normal. There had to be a weakness if Asuka studied hard enough. A cold, gross, off feeling still sank her stomach. Why had Lili been so tense?

“Yer not hidin’ more from me are you? No big stuff?”

“I don’t know where this inquisitiveness is coming from but there is nothing you need concern yourself with. I’m sure there’s nothing more to get worked up over since you visited me. I’m in one piece as you can see.”

Shit! That underclassman had squealed! Well, of course she would, she was just being a good person. No helping that.

‘Better than I’m actin’ now I guess.’

“You…you’d lemme know if there was somethin’ bothering you.”

Lili looked at her with the closest Asuka had seen to concern since she’d got that black eye.

“If it’s relevant I will. You’re being oddly persistent on this.”

Asuka thrust a finger at her.

“’Cuz yer carrying yerself weird! Like, more than how weird you always are.”

Lili’s brow rose.

“You like me that much do you?”

“Ugh! Why do you turn what I say into something else...”

She heard a sincere gentle sound, light and airy, that just as before made her chest jump. Lili giggled without teasing her. Asuka’s face flushed, out of embarrassment or some other thing she wouldn’t dwell on. She shrugged it off. Lili looked prettiest like this.

The shoe lockers were coming into view when they saw a shape rush toward them. In seconds their hands were raised, bags hitting the floor. A boy jumped and yelped, but he got himself together as if he’d been waiting all along. Slowly, Asuka lowered her guard. Lili followed suit throwing Asuka a worried look before she pinned the boy in her gaze. He stuttered finding his words, pointing at them.

“I knew it! You two fought at the seventh Iron Fist; you must be friends with the Mishima Zaibatsu, wanting their prize money!”

“Repeat that again you pathetic weasel and I shall-“

“You watched it live didn’t you? So what?”

“Everyone else can pretend things are fine and hide from the truth, but I know better. Both of you are willing to play with the Mishimas. They must have made you agents. Two more recruits for the Tekken Force!”

His chest puffed, his nostrils flared, his eyes were huge, red, and furious. Neither of them moved hell she swore she didn’t even see Lili blink. Her heart thudded fast and thick shooting pins and needles. He took the stunned silence as an opportunity. The people still on their way out started peeping at what would be the final gossip of the semester.

“Especially you. You’re the heiress to Rochefort Enterprises aren’t you? I’m not stupid. They got bought out by the Zaibatsu for their oil supply. Then they blew up the world. It’s your fault! You’re a fuckin plant!”

Lili went pale, a milky see through white as if her blood gushed out all at once. Asuka saw him strike before his own body knew. She moved. Her hand closed over his fist; it barely stung. What a scrawny little shit. He tried squirming free but her grip was steel. Then he remembered he had another fist. She caught that too. Asuka squeezed, watching him go limp and wheeze, his forehead got sweaty.

“That’s no way to talk to girls. One more word out of you and I’ll stop being so nice.”

He gasped in breathless pain the more muscle she used. He nodded fast, then faster. She grabbed him by the collar.

“Get the fuck outta here. Now!”

Releasing him almost brought him to his knees. He clutched his bag as he turned, tripping over his feet as he ran. She watched until the squeaking of his school slippers faded. Asuka dusted off her hands and slung her bag over her shoulder.

“Let’s go, Lili.”

That snapped her back to life. Lili picked up her bag in a trance. She never left her side or said a word going home, until the front door was shut behind them. 

Asuka crossed her arms over her gi. Gathering herself, Lili launched into a handspring, thrusting her legs as one during the arc. Asuka hummed thoughtfully. It looked cleaner and this time she didn’t collapse on the landing.  She took another pause for breath, and then switched to the weird ballet routine she’d demonstrated before. In just a few days the movements were snappier, some gaps were closed. Asuka tightened her fist. Some random, spoiled girl could fine tune herself in ways that took months or years for others. Lili wasn’t a prodigy, but that didn’t make it less ridiculous.

Lili wasn’t into screwing around. Even if something she did looked screwy, the execution was a viper’s bite coming from five steps ahead. Asuka felt her face harden for how many times she’d taken bites.

‘No wonder she felt confident jumping into tournaments.’

Still, she kept over relying on aggression and footwork as her biggest defenses. And for both as defense, there were gaps to be filled.

“No more exhibition. Lemme show ya a few techniques.”

Huffing, Lili wiped her sweat away and stepped back. The exhausted flush darkening her face stood against her alert eyes. There was always a hunger there. It never stopped making Asuka’s skin crawl as much as whipping her heart; there was a mirror there. The part of Lili’s lips when she panted yanked her train of thought. She yanked it right back before her body got too warm. The corner of her mouth twitched when she composed her face. She stood apart from Lili by a few paces and cleared her throat.

“Since you’re tall you’re sorta harder to toss around, but it’s not impossible. Plus there’s another use fer your long legs. Fer example,”

The narrow of her eyes was Lili’s only warning. Asuka took a running start then flung sideways arcing through the air. Her waist shifted until she flipped head down and legs up on her descent; shin and foot together fell stronger than a hammer.

Lili gave up on dodging. Asuka saw the blur of her arms rising into a guard shifting weight into her stance. At the last second before gravity took control, she moved herself off center. Anything at full force and she’d break her wrist. A tailwind burst when Asuka hit bone, almost shaking Lili’s hair undone. Her eyes widened. Instead of sinking to her knees Lili yelled and bent low then sprung pushing Asuka backwards. Quickly Asuka spun into a landing.

“That was good.” She gasped.

“Good? You could have knocked me out!”

She smirked.

“Exactly. That’s what your opponent will think before everything goes dark. You countered pretty well.”

“I see.” Lili said shaking her reddening right wrist.

“We call it Thunder Fall Kick. All I’m doing is a cartwheel with the momentum of my body behind me as I fall. Give it a try.”

For a second Lili gave her a look to be sure. Asuka nodded. She let her stretch, then came the run. It was too fast and she soared into the cartwheel just to tumble out of it. Lili barely managed rolling for safety when she landed.

Lili huffed, glaring at her to not laugh or say a word. Her second try sailed through the air; she saw Lili’s lean muscle flex pulling strength from her core. It looked like something from an Olympic routine than martial arts, but it was a start. With nothing to hit but the floor she ended it in a split. Panting she rolled into sitting cross legged. Asuka walked over clapping her hands slowly.

“Alright alright that’s better. This way lets you either get them on the first hit or scare them into taking the second one. Hold onto that. I’ve got another one for you.”

“I would think nearly flipping myself into a concussion was enough.”

“Well smartass you need more reversals, since you can’t bother bruising your pretty skin.”

Her chest did a leap watching her go pink and stammer; Lili pouted, stomping herself up.

“For this you use the momentum of the attacker against them. It’s different from the others I showed off because this uses more force. Try striking me.”

This time Lili glared but her eyes promised to obey. Her left fist moved fast but not fast enough. Asuka caught it by the wrist yanking it down then stepped behind her in the same motion. With gentle force she locked her free arm around Lili’s neck, bringing her sideways. All at once she fell, tipped off balance, Asuka her guide. They spun letting her right hand cup Lili’s chin before she could yell. In the time it took to blink Lili fell on her back.

“That’s Aiki Nage.” Asuka said coolly.

Groaning Lili tried sitting up, just to slide back down.

“My body is jelly.”

“C’mon I wasn’t so rough.”

“We have very different definitions for that word.”

Asuka snorted and smiled.

“Yeah, I guess we do.”

She pulled her up so she could sit. She tossed her towel into Lili’s lap and sipped some water.

“When yer ready we’ll practice Thunder Fall Kick and Aiki Nage fer today.”

Steady, steady, their forms grew in sync.

‘Hey. Is what that guy said at school true?’

‘I see you insist on inviting yourself in.’

‘Shaddup. What the hell do you call what you’ve done to me?’

A pause.

‘My family, Father is...nothing cures his broken heart. Jin Kazama took everything. There were phone calls and camera footage; hundreds of Tekken Force soldiers had raided the oil fields. We kept our personal assets, he granted us that mercy, but Rochefort Enterprises folded into the Mishima Zaibatsu. You’ve seen the global news since. World War Three.’

Asuka’s concentration slipped; wind rippled off her punch. Part of the draft clipped her right ear and she winced. The wound was thin, she didn’t feel much blood. But, alone, it took nothing for her memory to dunk her head again. She centered herself. The air tamed behind her punches.

‘Yer fuckin’ kiddin’ me. What’re you wasting time here for? You oughta be home with him.’

‘Don’t talk as if I hadn’t tried! I hunted Jin, bastard he is. The sixth Iron Fist was supposed to be my revenge. I meant to take it all back, but a man called Lars bested me in combat the moment I arrived. Clearly he has broken his promise to kill that scum.’

‘…Yer dad’s still got ya though.’

Lili’s eyes had been so far away.

‘That walking corpse is not my Father. It only pretends.’

She hadn’t known what to say. And when she awkwardly patted her shoulder Lili had spoken like she might break,

‘I couldn’t even see you.’

‘…I coulda kicked his ass if I found ‘im. But he got away on his murder spree. An’ I guess we never got matched in tha’ brackets. Since, y’know.’

She’d crossed her arms and an idea made her brain go tingly.

‘Wait. Did ya find me at school back then cuz ya really, really, really wanted ta’ see me?!’

‘You. Are unbelievable.’

‘Ya scared me and I dropped my lunch on tha’ ground!’

‘It was not my fault you hadn’t secured it to your bike!’

‘Like it’s normal fer limos ta’ cut people off in tha’ road!’

In the here and now Asuka let another punch loose; sweat flew off her brow. The breeze whistled just for her. Good! She should try legwork next. Standing, she kicked high, hopping into another with her other leg. But the moment her second leg started rising she lurched sideways like someone tugged her ankle from underneath.  She collapsed in a heap.

“Shit! That hurt.”

She got to her feet. On the next try she full body flipped and splat facedown. Groaning, Asuka gripped her hair. It’d been like splashing waves at the beach, where you’d kick the water one way but it got everywhere else. Not using her legs for stability felt the same as climbing stairs by sliding up the handrail.

Hold on.

She readied again and closed her eyes. Imagine stairs…

Asuka ran, the sound pounding her ears, hopping, snapping into one kick then another. Her feet climbed as if there were steps for less than three seconds. Keeping herself from flying into the ceiling she pictured falling, gravity touched her again. Asuka let herself sink on a knee, her chest heaving, and every cord of muscle she had burned. Rest first. She sat and slicked back her hair.

The good:

She was able to concentrate air into pinpoint areas and shapes. Visualization worked best.

She could keep herself from spinning out if she paced it.

The force behind her momentum was at least twice stronger than normal.

The bad:

For now there was no way she’d last very long without hurting herself.

If she didn’t maintain focus she couldn’t power up fast enough; opening her to attacks.

Even while focused, the set up took long enough she still risked being vulnerable. But she had a better chance of canceling it if she kept some awareness.

She wiped her brow on her crop top. Going up meant with enough practice she could go down just the same. That had to be true. What if there were stairs that dropped into nothing? She stood and stretched, gathering her courage.

‘One more time.’

Asuka took another running start, not a sprint but almost, climbing the air. At the highest point she looked down. Now! She flipped and threw out her left leg; the ground raced closer and closer, her kick a speeding bullet. Suddenly her stomach sank, fear wanted to save her life. Shit! At the last moment she managed a roll, breaking the fall. Asuka gnashed her teeth.

It’d been the flip; the stupid flip! Instead of conserving power she wasted part of it on extra movement. Dad shook his head and grunted in her thoughts. Even Lili wouldn’t try something so dumb. This was about timing. She flopped on her back, scowling. Patience was so damn hard! Something…there had to be something here. What if she jumped higher straight into the dropkick? No, switching up so suddenly and adding another rising step would stop her dead. The enemy would fill in the gap more effort created with less chance for an escape. So if she closed distance before they could while staying on the offense…

‘I should kick off them first!’

One set of climbing hop kicks should carry the momentum to bounce off someone’s head. Then she’d wind another kick as she fell! And while she was open they’d be too stunned to do anything back.

She got to her feet. There was more work ahead.

“What happened with your ear?”

Dad’s eyes locked on her band aid; dinner went quiet. Lili started pretending she was moving food around to pick it up. The tension in her jaw was too obvious. Asuka did her best not to miss a beat.

“Scratched it while workin’ on tha’ bike. I had to unscrew a bolt and tha’ damn thing was wound tight. Went flyin’ by my head. S’not tha’ bad, just stings.”

She felt him searching her face as she kept eating. In reality she hadn’t done any work past polishing for a week. With a mouth full of rice it’d be rude for him to make her talk.

“Yer not lookin’ great around the eyes either. And ya keep asking fer seconds. I don’t want ya spending all yer free time on that bike, ya hear?”

She swallowed a gulp of food big enough for Lili to throw her a funny look.

“Yeah alright I won’t.”

“I’m serious Asuka.”

“I said I won’t Dad. Don’t worry.”

He glared and she played it cool, raising a brow ‘There more ya wanna say?’ Finally he sighed and started digging into dinner again. She took another bite; Lili was staring, holding a question so bad her face went red. ‘What the hell are you doing?’ her eyes shouted. Asuka sipped her Pocari Sweat, glancing away.

She lay belly down on her bed flipping through the newest Cycle Sports while Lili sat at the desk. There were pages and pages of new bikes made for any use a person could think up. Scattered in between were reviews and interviews, bike route guides, until she landed on the parts ads. Her jaw dropped. Clincher tire prices had hiked to almost five hundred thousand yen a piece. Even the mid-range speed cassettes sat close to a million. In a red and yellow font the magazine gave a paragraph next to a cartoon drawing of a cyclist apologizing.

Customers, we ask your patience regarding price point and shipping at this time. Due to global shortage our sponsors are experiencing significant delays in resource procurement and assembly. Prices will now reflect-

Asuka’s eyes glazed over the page. She set the magazine down and sighed.

“What’s the matter?”

“Fixin’ my bike’s gonna be the same as buyin’ a house. Everything’s gettin’ too damn expensive.”

She flipped through Cycle Sports again covering her face.

“For regular people y’know not you.”

Lili stopped applying her makeup, glaring at her, and then kept brushing her cheeks.

“Ah yes more biting wit from a comedic genius. No matter, money won’t be a concern. Get whatever you like.”

“Yer being weirdly cool about this.”

“Take me with you on your ‘Gang Mediation’ hunts.”

“A- wha- Are you crazy?! No!”

Lili uncapped a thin dusty pink pencil and started outlining her eyes.

“We’ve been training over a month and I refuse to continue being locked away without real world practice. There’s no point in learning anything if it isn’t applied.”

“No.”

“Oh why not?! I traveled the world getting into battles long before I met you.”

“Fighting for yourself doesn’t mean you can follow someone else’s rhythm. Teamwork is coordination! If you get hurt…I gotta think about you and keeping creeps away. We’d be screwed.”

She heard the pencil clatter on the desk. Lili leaned in the chair arms crossed; the irritation could’ve rolled into steam off her face. Asuka shuddered.

“I see. You’d rather keep me imprisoned in this bird cage so I’ll be under your thumb. It’s enough to control how much I know and how I use it; never mind a day coming where I would need teamwork yet find myself vulnerable. Or perhaps you doubt yourself.”

Asuka stammered, a pit opening in her stomach swallowing all her thoughts. She put her chin in her hand, covering her mouth, her eyes shifting.

“That’s not guaranteed…and no shit I can handle anythin’! It’s got nothin’ to do with doubt!” She cried, her voice wavering at the ends.

“What I know for certain is whatever cut your ear wasn’t as ridiculous as a bike bolt. Really, you call that lying to your father?”

She shot upright on the bed.   

“Don’t assume I did that for fun!”

“I never said as much. But you’ve got quite the nerve to lecture me when you’re the one hurting yourself.”

Asuka sank sitting cross legged and sighing as she stared her down.

“Fine. You can come. But yer still listening to me out there; if I say ‘get out’ then go home.”

“I knew you’d understand. That settles it.  Now, which of these colors is prettier?”

Lili picked through the makeup kit replacing Asuka’s PC keyboard and held up a little tube bottle in each hand. On the left was something rose pink; pale enough to look almost natural but still wasn’t. The other was dusty lavender with a matte texture noticeable without opening it.

“What’s that gotta do with- oh, the pink.”

“Excellent.”

She smiled at Asuka with her perfect teeth and turned back to her mirror, uncapping the bottle. Asuka absentmindedly flipped through the glossy pages showing new bikes. Between each she snuck a glance, watching the care with which Lili painted her lips. If it seemed like she’d get caught she darted her eyes to a random spot on a page. But as time passed, the longer she watched anyway. Until, of course, it’d be safer to just read.

Not long after she heard her throat clear and looked up slowly. Asuka’s eyes widened; she gasped softly.

“So? What do you think?”

Lili pulled any chance of forming a sentence from Asuka’s throat. She was more or less the same, but now with a soft definition to her cheeks. Thin pale orange eyeshadow dusted her lower eyelids making her pink eyeliner wings pop. Her eyes were the blue of a sky against those dusky colors. Her lips were glistening and vibrant without overpowering the natural curve and shade. Really she was,

“Beautiful.”

Lili put her chin on her hands so they framed her face like a ‘V’. She grinned. Asuka’s entire body throbbed, the air blazed like every drop of blood rushed to her head.

“I mean no, ya look like those models on beauty mags or whatever. Nothin’ that special. It’s just…good.” She stammered out.

Her brow rose when she saw her pick up a blank index card of blotting paper for her fountain pens. Lili pressed it to her mouth, giving it a hard kiss. Then she took a sheet of laminate and carefully sealed it. Asuka stared, the spell of the entire thing demanding she watch. When she saw the paper handed to her she accepted, afraid to use any force.

“Since you enjoyed this shade keep it.”

“…Thanks.”

She got a smile and a wink; and at once she became shy yet lighter than air.

That night in bed Asuka strained her eyes tracing and retracing the card. The pink was still visible against white paper, as moist and bow shaped as the mouth it’d been on hours ago. She ran her finger along the outline afraid it’d smudge anyway.

Closing her eyes brought Lili’s face clear as day. Here she could touch her or stare without any nagging worries. She could run fingers through her hair knowing it would be silky smooth.  This time she cupped her cheek, tracing her thumb along Lili’s mouth. Lili gave her one of those inviting stares; the kind where she was both reading and listening. Their eyes fluttered half shut as Asuka brought her closer. But of course, she could only hover over her pink lips. Lili turned away.

Asuka opened her eyes. Night stayed. Her hand not holding the card gripped her sheets. She tucked it under her pillow, furthest from where her head might crush it. She rolled over finding Lili’s shape on the futon. Asuka watched until her eyes grew heavy. Then she fell asleep.

Shinsekai was bright and sunny ignoring them as they walked. She scanned around finding the usual. Families, friends, people by themselves, a foreigner here and there- all present. The world was in order.

“Quit scowling like that. It’s such beautiful weather today; really one would be an idiot to want to cause trouble. And look-! There’s a giant octopus on that building!”

“This isn’t a date! We’re hunting morons. Takotsuba’s ain’t a bad spot for later though.”

“I shall hold you to that. Don’t forget.”

“Yeah yeah.”

“Oh! And that tower beyond it, what a fascinating industrial shape.”

“Tsutenkaku? Sure sure that too but are you gonna help or not?”

“Ugh. I dislike this side of you. Why not pay a few people and have them stir up some thug looking types? We’d net more off the street.”

 Asuka groaned pulling her aside; she poked her chest.

“I don’t start fights. I break them up. I end them, got it? No schemes.”

Sucking her teeth Lili brushed her bangs from her face.

“Since you insist.”

Asuka sighed and scratched her head.

“Let’s check the alleys or around convenience stores an’ parks. Anywhere it’s easier for people ta’ gather.”

“Lead the way.” Lili said behind a wolfish grin.

And it made her heart skip finding the same hunger Asuka knew in her eyes.

They got lucky; several boys were shouting as they passed Naniwa Nishi Park. She stopped, pressing herself against the wall; Lili followed suit. She peered over the gate and counted ten standing around an abandoned dohyō. The rope boundary was frayed, dirty, but they split themselves even down the ring. The shouts turned to yelling when someone threw a punch, opening himself to get tackled. A few boys at the edge cheered the fight on. A closer look, they all had bruises. Asuka took a breath.

“Alright. It’s ten of them and they’re already kicking the shit out of each other. This should be easy if they’ve tired themselves out.”

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s pummel them.”

She put her arm in front of Lili.

“Don’t get cocky. I can’t protect you from everything.”

Lili huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Your repeated warnings have been noted.”

“It helps making sure you take them one at a time too.”

Pushing past Lili growled teeth flashing as she stomped in their direction. Asuka groaned running after her. One by one the boys turned their heads and tapped their buddies.

“Idiot I’m supposed to go first! Come back!”

The two boys wrestling in the dohyō stopped hitting each other over the head. Immediately the jeering went silent. Lili stood in front of them, hands on her hips. The closer her legs carried her the better Asuka saw their faces. Her hairs went up. It wasn’t the hunger she knew in her reflection, the kind making boys piss themselves when she knocked out teeth. These guys wore something darker checking Lili up and down. She'd heard about this; guys who'd want her on her back while they took turns. Guys saw you as meat and knew exactly the cut they wanted, what type of hungry they were as they took their time before passing you off for their friend's fun in your body. Her stomach sank. She quit running; now she sprinted across the open field.

“Halt sirs! Cease behaving like ruffians this instant! How shameful doing this in a public place. There must be a better way to get along.”

“Oh yeah? We’re all ears princess. Maybe we can help ya think of some.”

Asuka’s vision narrowed to the center of a boy’s head. She climbed. Her hop kicks slammed him one two, the first step his waist the next knocking his head back; an explosive sound rocked her senses. Around her she thought she heard someone yell ‘was that a fucking gun?!’ She gritted her teeth. Now! She brought her left leg down riding gravity. He flipped ass up still spinning from her force; Asuka’s kick hammered him. The ground cracked swallowing him head first. A burst of wind whipped her hair biting her skin.

She landed. The boy’s legs went limp above ground, the rest of him nail straight in dirt; he looked like a tacky art piece. Everyone froze staring with bulging eyes. In the split second between getting up and resetting her stance she saw the boy closest to Lili move for her.

“No more talkin’! Knock ‘em out!”  Asuka shouted.

A boy threw a right hook, she grabbed his wrist and flung him forward, his body flipped bouncing his head on the landing with a crunch. The next charged wanting to spear her. Asuka side stepped, roaring, and stepped into her weight. She thrust an open left palm slamming him in his solar plexus. He flung backwards, bouncing, crashing against three boys who collapsed easier than bowling pins.

Lili shoved another boy off then crushed his toes under her square boot heel. He yelped opening him up for her kick striking his shin. As he crumpled Asuka saw her half cartwheel with her hands behind her back. The first kick crushing him gave her ground enough to slam her next one square on his dick. He howled, screaming as if someone wouldn’t stop stabbing him again and again. Jumping off him Lili kicked the closest boy Asuka had knocked down in the head before he could stand. Beside him his two friends screamed. Then Asuka was on them.

They lay pinned under the bodies, squirming but only sinking themselves deeper. She slammed her boot under the chin of the boy screaming loudest. His teeth scattered across the dirt, blood flying from his mouth. His friend gave up struggling. As she wound back her fist she twisted off balance; another one had tackled her. Quickly Asuka grabbed his forearms as he grabbed hers. Their feet shuffled trying to steady themselves. His sweaty, growling face sat a hair away from her nose. He pressed down his weight but she rocked herself shifting the balance. Her heel gripped on the dirt in the struggle. She grinned. She kicked his shin knocking him sideways.

His hands lost grip; Asuka spun him around, booting his back like kicking in a door.

“Lili! Behind ya!”

Lili dodged an attack turning just in time to step in. She thrust both palms hitting his middle and spinning him on his face.  Asuka ran toward her, past her, throwing herself behind a kick that folded a boy flinging him several meters. Quickly she glanced back and found her dodging the last one to free himself from under his friend. He went down easy.

The last boy standing whimpered shaking like a shitting dog; sweat dripped down his face, his clothes soaked. Asuka put a hand on her hip. Lili rejoined her, huffing as they glared at him. He glanced back and forth between them. A word started stuttering out his quivering mouth but Asuka’s brow narrowed and he swallowed it. Dust swirled as a breeze passed.

He swallowed again; she read fear overpowering the shock in his eyes. He twitched, panting so hard he could pass out any second. Asuka slid back her foot. The boy let out a ferocious scream and charged raising a fist. Lili jolted but Asuka stepped in front of her. He ran wobbly as if coated in honey.  Everything was slow. The rustling leaves and grass, the wind through her hair, the clouds as they drift in the sky. She raised her fist. One punch; he dropped instantly.

She sucked her teeth rolling him over with her foot. Out cold he could only be peaceful.

“Moron.”

“Well then, I must say, what a hell of a- AAH!”

Asuka whipped around. The boy she’d sent flying into his friends rushed Lili from the side. She didn’t think. The world fell away. Her body moved. Wind curled along her forearm down to the fist; everything became a single point. Asuka let it fly.

His jaw gave way butter smooth under her knuckles. She felt the teeth dance across her skin scattering into shards. Then all at once the air exploded. A storm swirling in its burst blew at the impact. Her ears grew full; a droning whine cut any sound. She couldn’t see him, only a hazy shape speeding down a wind tunnel. That something skipped along the ground with a stone’s weight a long, long time. Barely, just barely, it stopped before the park fence.

She took a breath. Suddenly the ground grew closer.

‘Ah shit. I’m fallin’.’

Lili caught her arm pulling her back on her feet. She felt herself be pat down, but her vision was such a blur things returned to focus one by one. The newest thing she felt was Lili’s warm hands on hers. She focused on her making herself feel real again.

“My god, that looked as if it should have killed you both. How are you bleeding so little?”

Lili held Asuka’s hand at her chest; pricks of blood oozed on her knuckles. She tried asking her for a bandage. Instead Lili took the hand to her mouth and started sucking each spot gently. Her lips were soft, careful. There was nothing she could say, nothing she wanted to say. It was pure instinct when she let out a shaky gasp. Her eyes fluttered fixed on her. Warmth from her tongue melted the barely there pain. Then all too soon Lili finished and Asuka had never been more disappointed at air on her skin. The bleeding stopped. Lili wiped her mouth.

“Hardly worth a handkerchief.”

“Thank…you…”

She huffed out still heavy to the bone. Lili smiled, giggling quietly and pleased with herself. Asuka took a step; she may as well be wearing cement bricks. Her chest dipped. Again Lili grabbed her, plucking her really with how tall she was. Asuka groaned.

“What a pain in the ass. Dad’s not gonna believe we were just hangin’ out. And now I feel like I’m gonna fuckin’ drop.”

Lili scoffed.

“I should be insulted with how often you disregard my many talents.”

“Huh?”

Lili put two fingers to her ear. A short beep followed- since when had she been wearing an earpiece?

“Hello, Sebastian? No I only require the limo. Yes.”

She heard her give him the address. Was Sebastian the same as the old man she saw when Lili arrived? He’d been driving when Lili showed up at her school just for a fight.  They had to be the same guy. Whatever, everything was so heavy. He could come bringing a stretcher and it’d be better than standing here. The fantasy of lying in bed letting her muscle aches melt made her smile. She almost didn’t hear the rasping cough at their feet. Asuka jolted, stepping back as Lili ended her call.

One of the boys crawled toward them bloody and lumpier than potatoes. Breathing seemed to take the life from his lungs with each drag. He stopped at Asuka’s boot. He craned up his neck and she found the strength to glare.

“You…it’s gotta be you. Word got around. I thought those wind moves were bullshit. Yer tha’ demon who put Takeshi in tha’ hospital.  He needed a full body cast y’know? He might not walk again.”

Her eyes were cold.

“Am I supposed to care? If he wasn’t such an idiot attacking me he’d be fine. He did it to himself. He shoulda been stronger.”

“Yer fucking crazy!”

Lili crushed her heel over his head; that finally made him go limp. Asuka’s eyes widened turning and finding satisfaction as much as hatred. She opened her mouth. She wanted to correct her, wanted to get upset.  But she remembered his face at the start. Her eyes narrowed, mouth twisting. Asuka kicked him for good measure. Then she kicked him again, again, and again letting his bruises bloom blood. Lili joined in one last time letting out a yell. Asuka spat beside his head. They looked over the bodies.

 “Good riddance. Is this what you’ve been doing? Leaving a trail of carnage?”

“I ain’t kill anyone!”

 Lili turned staring at the boy lying limp near the park gate. She started walking not waiting for Asuka or rushing in the slightest. Her heart jumped up her throat. She followed half running while his body came closer and closer. All her thoughts vomited out.

“I didn’t hit him like that on purpose. That much force, tha’ wind curlin’ like that I had no idea I could hit that hard. There’s no way he’s dead. I didn’t wanna kill him!”

“Will you cease your incessant prattle? Look at him, he’s breathing.”

Barely. If he didn’t get treatment soon it’d be game over. Lili hummed thoughtfully and stroked her chin. She leaned over him.

“Though I’m very certain the human jaw should not bend this way. Nor appear so, floppy. And not a single tooth left either. Impressive.”

Asuka made herself look at him. The length of his jaw sagged clearly broken, but the way it twisted sent shivers through her. It curled the same as the tailwinds she left behind. But, at least she hadn’t killed him. No one could blame her for that.

“Thanks ya damn weirdo.”  

Lili looked at her, annoyed. Asuka put her hands on her hips.

“I presume then this is what cut you. That sort of power, you became a living hurricane.”

“H-How’d you figure? I’m not some amateur when I train and this doesn’t mean I can cut-“

Sighing Lili slowly fanned out her dress skirt. Dozens of tiny tears split the fabric to the seams. Several sections of lace looked like they’d been put through a shredder. The one saving grace was that her skin stayed covered. Somehow.

“Yer kiddin’ me…”

“This is couture costing over a hundred thousand euros. However, in this instance, I shall forgive you.”

“Ya better, cuz no way I could pay that fuckin’ bill.”

 “Do not insist I should change my mind.”

Asuka swallowed and looked away scratching her head. Her eyes wandered over the boy on the ground again. She reached into her shorts pocket flipping open her phone. Quickly she dialed.

“Hey you guys need to send an ambulance over by Naniwa Nishi Park. There’s ten boys here unconscious. No I found them; they beat the crap out of each other. Please hurry. Thanks.”

As she flipped it closed Lili watched, and when their eyes met she read approval. Or was it curiosity? This was Lili so the answer had to be both. Then the crunch of tires broke their concentration. A white limo pulled beside the sidewalk; with it came Sebastian springing from the driver’s seat. He rushed to Lili’s side clutching a first aid kit. How far had Lili thought ahead?

“Mademoiselle Lili! Are you and Mademoiselle Asuka hurt? Goodness my lady, what has become of your dress?!”

“I am unscathed Sebastian. See to Asuka’s left hand. Her right ear requires attention also.”

“Yes Mademoiselle.”

“I’m fine. My hand stopped bleeding rememb- urgh!”

Right as she instinctively flexed it her left hand seized up into an angry throbbing patch of tendons. She winced, hissing out a breath. Her adrenaline finally ran on empty.

“Pardon me. If I may treat your lacerations and apply a compress, the pain will certainly ease.”

“Sure. Just make it stop.” Asuka panted.

Asuka was tough, always had been. But each step disinfecting, spreading ointment, to wrapping a bandage shot floating starbursts through her vision. She stared into the sky hoping for birds or clouds. Anything she could count. A flock flew by in V-formation; she sighed, relieved.

“There. The bandage itself doubles as the cold compress. This should eliminate the need for a cumbersome ice bag, Mademoiselle Asuka. As for your ear-”

“That doesn’t hurt your princess over there’s just working herself up. But, thanks.”

“I see. Understood.”

He shuffled to the trunk to stash the supplies; she felt Lili’s stare meeting it without hesitation. She caught her dazed, brows knit with concern. Then in the most Lili fashion she noticed and cleared her throat. Just like that her expression turned cool again. Asuka let out a dry chuckle.

“After you Mademoiselle Lili.”

Sebastian opened the passenger door bowing as he waited. Tilting her head Lili beckoned for her as she got in. Asuka made sure she was seated first; she couldn’t fight a grin anymore.

“Welcome to my most wonderful lounge. I trust it is to your liking, no?”

“Like I drive in one of these enough to know any difference.”

Dad never even owned a car. Not that she could remember anyway. Asuka stared out the window fixed on the city rolling past them. Her ears perked when Lili cleared her throat hard. She looked at her and slunk into the plush seat ears red with embarrassment.

“It’s real nice. Never been in a seat this comfy. If I pass out it’s yer fault y’know.”

“Feel free. I shall take it as a compliment.”

“I’m holdin’ ya ta’ that. Don’t mind if I do.”

Lili smiled. Now Asuka found she couldn’t stop talking.

“That was somethin’ back there too y’know. We beat the crap outta ‘em! You were flyin’ everywhere I almost couldn’t catch tha’ action. I bet they didn’t know what tha’ hell hit ‘em.”

“As I remember you turned several into mincemeat. I should thank you for providing me such opportune openings for attack.”

“Hell yeah! That’s the kind of teamwork I had in mind! Great, right?”

Lili brushed back her hair and turned up her nose. She could hear the smirk when she spoke.

“Of course. When I fight with absolute concentration, there is nothing I can’t handle.”

Asuka’s face pinched.

‘That took everythin’ outta ya?’

She saw Lili marching in front of those boys over and over in her mind. If Asuka hadn’t been there making it easier on her to fight; suddenly she thought she might vomit.

“...The way they were starin’ at ya felt off ta’ me. When ya talked at them an’ stuff.”

There’d been way too many of them; blame stung on her shoulders.

“How so?”

“Ya were a piece ‘o meat. An’ they seemed real hungry, if ya catch my drift. They were those kinda guys. Yer pretty an’ all remember.”

Her chest panged watching Lili go pale.

“That…will not discourage my combative pursuits.”

“I ain’t sayin’ forget martial arts. People use ta’ warn me all tha’ time. It…it scared me fer a second. That’s all.”

Silence muffled everything. Asuka let herself breathe; her eyes lit up.

“But still, I looked cool saving ya at the end didn’t I?”

“…And if I say yes?”

Fire ripped through Asuka like striking a match. She leaned forward.

“Yeah?”

“You terrified me. I demand you repeat it at the earliest convenience.”

She blinked at her; Lili sat straight faced. Without thinking she burst out giggling.

“What? What now? How rude you are.”

“It’s just, it’s just you love saying weird things!”

Lili’s mouth twitched. Asuka stared right back, bracing for an insult. Instead she smiled. The limo stopped at a red light.

“Can you guess why I began fighting?”

“Huh? Cuz ya wanna right?  Yer family doesn’t teach nothin’ about it like mine. Ya can be good at protectin’ yer money or somethin’.”

“Nothing as silly as that I assure you. Money is Father’s concern not mine. Though one could say money was the reason I discovered it.”

Lili rested her arm on the window sill. She shifted crossing her legs.

“Four years ago I was kidnapped for ransom, you see.”

Asuka’s jaw dropped on reflex.

“Of course back then I was utterly helpless. I was but twelve. Making a proper fist was beyond me. I was bound in a chair inside a room for I’m unsure how long. I remember best the dark, the panic dreaming of home and my stuffed animals. When I would wake fear reminded me exactly where I was. But the more I grew afraid, the deeper anger hardened inside me.”

Her eyes were a razor.

“I don’t remember much of him. I bit my guard doing everything my body could to thrash him out cold. Then I slipped my bindings and ran. And ran and ran until I collapsed beside a road.”

“…What…happened then?”

“What do you think? A passing car found me in France. Father was on his jet the moment he heard the news. He thought I would be crying and huddling on my bed at the hospital. But I sat ready to meet him.”

“No way! Yer lyin’!”

Lili cocked her head, not amused.

“Come now Asuka I’ve never had reason to lie to you. Certainly not over a personal memory either.”

Sucking her teeth she folded her arms out of habit but stopped. She winced at the dull ache shooting from her hand. She could feel her expression soften and didn’t fight it. There came nothing to say that felt right enough, except for maybe,

“…What about yer mother? How was she?”

Lili cut her off, sharp, but strangely wavering.

“My mother isn’t worth discussing.”

A slight movement caught her eye. Asuka looked down; Lili’s hand was trembling. All of Lili was trembling. She didn’t think as she held her hand. She heard her breath hitch and Asuka’s heart raced faster.

“I ain’t got a mom either.”

Lili’s expression shifted around struggling for the right reply, the right anything. Asuka felt her fingers squeezed. That was enough. At least she’d stopped shaking. Sebastian glanced at them in the rearview mirror, his stare warm. They sat there not moving, light through the windows dancing across their faces. Soon their stomachs growled. She started laughing thinking nothing of it and she heard Lili join in the melody. Their hands let go, but that was alright.

“I believe you promised me octopus. Unless you’ve forgotten.”

“Yeah yeah I know. I’m soooo hungry. If I don’t eat somethin’ I think my arm’s gonna start lookin’ tasty.” She groaned.

“Well that won’t do. Sebastian!”

“Yes Mademoiselle?”

“Return us to Shinsekai then you may retire at the hotel.”

“At once my lady.”

Lili turned to her concerned.

“You’re up for walking are you?”

“Of course I’ll be fine. I’m made of tougher stuff.”

Getting out and standing in the middle of a proper street again left her disoriented. They must’ve been driving only twenty minutes; it may as well have been another world. The moment for people to gawk at them seeing the limo had passed. Until now Asuka never considered such casual attention annoying. Then again, for a long while she’d always been alone.

“Hmm…I believe it was a building with a giant octopus climbing the side.”

“Yeah that’s Takotsuba’s alright. C’mon we might still beat the rush hour.”

They did not in fact beat the rush hour. While it wasn’t a full house either it came pretty damn close. Getting a booth to themselves was another of the day’s small victories. She looked over the menu as a formality; her heart had already decided to keep eating anything until she’d be crawling outta here. Her stomach wrung out a gurgle.

“What would you suggest? I’ve never seen it prepared in quite so many ways.”

“Well ya know the staples like okonomiyaki and takoyaki so that’s nothin’ new. There’s octopus salad, octopus rice, sushi, and karaage too. Karaage’s got more fry to it than takoyaki. I heard once it’s chewier if you don’t boil the octopus first.”

“My! Then I must try them all it seems.”

“What’d ya ask me for?”

Lili giggled.

“Why not?”

Ah, of course it’d been another one of her weird teases. Oh well. Asuka shrugged smiling to herself.

Maybe she should blame her hunger, but everything tasted divine. There wasn’t a bite she could get down fast enough before she went for the next. The texture felt as smooth as if she’d caught it from the sea. Each seasoning burst together yet she could name them all. And the sauces, she never imagined sauces so sharp they might ruin the dish. How had she eaten anything before today?

“Try this it’s amazin’!”

She scooped a huge chunk of crispy karaage and held it up between her chopsticks. Lili stared from her face to the octopus, thinking. She smiled easy playing along. Asuka grinned watching her bite it. Her face exploded.

“My god what a powerful flavor…I’m unsure where I should begin. Give me another.”

She picked up an even bigger chunk inching toward Lili’s parted mouth; then at the last second just as Lili’s eyes focused Asuka ate it.

“You scoundrel!”

“I’m hungry.” She hummed, smiling and content.

Under the table their feet nudged together back and forth and back without force.

By the time they stumbled out of Takotsuba’s the sky burned dusty orange. Beside her Lili gripped a wall hunching over into one big sigh. Asuka stretched and yawned with a bursting stomach feeling her eyes droop.

“I believe… I should have stopped… at dish five… “

“Ya didn’t have ta’ try everythin’ off my plate.” Asuka huffed half-heartedly.

“You have the luxury of living here. I must take the experience when I can get it.”

“Hey. Wasn’t there another place you wanted ta’ go?” She asked, nudging her.

“Where could that possibly be in this state-“

Asuka stared above them saying nothing as Lili followed her line of sight. She smiled. Towering like a lone pillar propping up the heavens, Tsutenkaku stood, the sunset dressing it in gold. 

To her surprise there was little fuss from Lili as they climbed the access stairs. A ten minute rest had her back to swiveling her head trying not to miss anything she saw. Some gawked at the jagged tears on her dress; but if Lili didn’t care then neither did Asuka. They held hands climbing the tight crowded stairwells and through narrow doorways. At the first observation deck she felt Lili start letting go to wander inside; Asuka squeezed her fingers.

“That’s the boring part. Lemme show ya some real excitement.”

A second staircase so narrow you had to climb single file squeezed them up the second deck. It was a tight caged circle, full of people crammed between the tower and tall mesh wire paneling. Everyone could barely make space for others passing and so she made sure they followed the flow without getting crushed.  Despite this no one pushed or shoved; she lifted her head letting the wind cool against her face.

They got lucky. Another couple left passing them by while everyone else was busy going either up or down, creating an empty pocket where no one would bother them. Asuka seized the chance.

“Mon dieu…”

They stood at the entrance of an open roofed tunnel made of more mesh wire and a grated ramp. It jutted out several meters, pointing its finger through the sky. Yellow font on a white sign shouted the rule of allowing two standing people at a time. Asuka grinned and pointed.

“After ya, ladies first.”

“You can’t be serious. No matter! I am not afraid.”

“I’ll be right behind ya, duh.”

Slowly Lili stepped out one long stride after another until she soon let go of gripping the mesh for safety. True to her word Asuka followed casually at ease like they were still on a sidewalk. She stopped beside her at the end, the floor now a single piece of reinforced glass. One glance down and they could feel the plummet to their deaths. She was alive, wired, a living drum. The air filled fresh through her lungs. Lili’s tight face softened. She smiled hearing her gasp.

The city went on and on and on, framed in golden fire.  The clouds became infinite vanishing into a thick blanket on the horizon. High rises, highways, and all the packed in streets bunched together or winded around each other like a spread fan. Most were grey, but dots of color boxed in the edges of green parks.  Trains snaked along the outdoor rail lines in the gaps between. Even floating from up here the sounds of life came through in pieces.  

“It’s really pretty.”

“…Yes. It is.”

She watched the city, and she watched her watch the city. Then all she could see was her. Lili seemed to glow; tearing down the calculating look she knew so well. Instead she was smiling; she outdid the sun.  Their bodies touched. They were all but one in such tiny space.

“Do you know what I’m thinking when I see you now?”

Lili spoke softly tapering the syllables like a melody. Asuka decided then and there her eyes were the gentlest blue.

“Knowing you? Could be anythin’ I guess.”

Lili cleared her throat. Her words came in a rhythm.

“There’s a poem we were taught back home for literature studies. A line went, ‘Now let us sport us while we may, And now, like amorous birds of prey, Rather at once our time devour Than languish in his slow-chapt power.’ ”

She stared at her waiting, patient despite going bright as a tomato. Asuka didn’t have words for the funny feeling turning her into a tingling fool.

“Sounds nice, but what’s it mean?”

“…I-I thought, I thought it sounded pleasing.”

“Ya don’t know do ya?”

“Sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable not to.” Lili stammered, glancing down.

They stood there on thin air. Lili held her hand. Asuka brushed her thumb over her skin.

The walk home went all too fast and just as slow. Between a few curious silences they chatted about anything that from outside was absolutely nothing. Together they walked through the front door, laughing over a joke Asuka told easy. And there stood Dad drawn by their noise; on his face reality.

“What were you two doing?”

His eyes were staring straight at the cuts on Lili’s dress. At once Asuka knew she had lost.

“We found boys all beating each other to death at the park; course we had to do something.”

“Yes and I’m sure that something didn’t involve calling police.”

Her wound throbbed under his stare. She saw his brow narrow and her heart ran laps.

“Let me see your hand.”

“I’m fine-“

“Now.”

She looked at Lili, who by the hard swallow in her throat could only watch. All the clever poetry and snappy remarks dried at their source; as much a blade now as a blade of grass. Asuka raised her left hand bringing her bandage in full view. Her body held itself while he undid the wrapping. A hiss squeezed out her lungs when he examined the newborn scabs.

“I knew it.”

 He checked over her ear then looked again at Lili’s dress; the cuts matched.

“Explain everything. And I mean everything, Asuka.”

Quickly she stuffed her left hand behind her back, eyes downcast. Her fingers clenched with her pride bearing the pain. Beside her she heard the slight step of Lili shifting closer. She found her voice.

“The fighting went fine, we won. It almost felt too easy. When I thought the last boy went down, one got back up out of nowhere. He started charging at Lili I, I couldn’t think anymore. I knew I had to do something I had to protect her. (At hearing the word ‘Protect’ his eye twitched.) These guys seemed more dangerous than my usual. So my body just moved on its own. I hit him. I hit him harder than I’ve hit anything in my life; he went flying like cars in a tsunami.”

“I must add, when we checked his body I believe only by a miracle did she not pulverize his skull, sir.”

“Your wind, what did it look like. How did it shape? Do you remember?”

“Not much. I know it became all I could see, like a tunnel curling around and from me.”

“Worse than that; I’m amazed you saw so little. Had you done any more it would have meant his life.” Lili said, very small with Dad here, but Asuka sensed a lingering fascination.

A heavy look on his face made her stomach drop. She heard the day’s joy shatter.

“No more fighting. Defending yourself I will allow, but nothing else. You will not provoke anyone nor give in to verbal insults. You will not go getting yourself involved in other people’s battles. You are to get away then call the police if you see such nonsense. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes… sir.” She forced through her teeth meeting his eyes.

His mouth made a line and that was final.

The hair on her nape still bristled sitting on her bed. Her left hand dulled throbbing quietly as she gripped her homework. Her leg started bouncing while her eyes glazed over the equations.

“You worry too much. At least he hasn’t confined you here. And so what, in a few days I’m sure his temper will calm.”

Lili stopped writing. Sitting at the desk she reminded Asuka of a perched eagle with lanky limbs. Her voice soothed if nothing else. She let herself breathe. Asuka swallowed, face tight.

“He’s never said anythin’ like that before. Never. Even if sometimes he’d give me a look the older I got.”

She stared at an equation passing it through her muscle memory. Her pencil underlined her answer over and over.

“I don’t get a damn thing anymore.” She said to herself.

Then she perked up snapping her head toward Lili.

“I ain’t say anythin’ about worryin’! Don’t go assumin’.”

“Please. The way you’re acting says quite enough.”

Asuka searched her brain for a biting one liner, anything she could throw would do. She sighed, sucking her teeth softly. She flipped the page and tackled another equation with a mind like stilled dark water. It was autopilot; it had to be after Lili drilled the rules into her piece by piece dozens of times. But the steps came sluggish, the numbers vague, and a feeling of wrongness trailed everything. This, she realized, felt something like doubt gnawing its way into birth. And she held it quiet so quiet in her chest; between her bared teeth. Dad was tough but fair. He was strong. She pictured his smile.

Days kept coming one after another. Each morning she shuffled out of bed (closer to noon now thank god), trained, washed, then a big breakfast, homework, bike work, training, another wash, bed. Dinner would come and go giving a bit of color in filling her belly beside more Lili. It took longer than she liked meeting Dad’s eyes again for longer than a second. He wouldn’t say anything more on why he’d been angry though to her credit Asuka didn’t dare push. Time trickled slowly by the minute to the hour. Her body woke up between the seconds; how many years had passed, since she knew lasting stillness?

The little things made her angry now. Tea took too long to boil and food too long to cook. Cars driving by the house had eyes in their lights and off the tint of their windows. Internet scrolling threw itself up telling her nothing. Silent moments picked and picked letting thinking seep through cracks in her stone. She spent time sitting. She paced around. She stared at the ceiling. She didn’t dare go outside the first few days. When she did, her legs made trips around the yard.

She held on to the sparks found in sparring Lili up and down the dojo. It’d always been the first place her mind became a blank slate, her original place. She gave orders knowing they’d be understood. She took fun in the blows of their words saying less and less now, letting truths spill behind their tangled limbs and measured hits. There everything else turned to steam.

And it was bad for her now, it was bad for her. The solid landing of a strike, the smacking of bone colliding against skin, the racing heart during a back and forth marrying technique with gut instinct- all of it meals without ever filling. Then just like that with the clap of her hands it too ended. Sometimes, they stopped thinking anything at all pushing their strength further and further into force. If one bruised the other grinned; if both bruised they laughed.

It came simple. Act. React. Counteract. She hardly noticed now whether Lili grew slower in the thick of it, or if those moments made Asuka move faster.  It was as pointless as trying to decide if you tasted your sweat in your mouth or having it flood your nose. They blended the same.

It was life and she savored it greedily whenever she drank. It reminded. She tasted it in her dreams.

“Will you quit sulking outside our practices? I may as well find better conversation with a tree of late.”

Asuka shot up from lying on her side tossing her pillow aside, furious red, face all hard angles. She roughed up her hair as if shaking the frustration.

“Things are too normal!”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been fighting thugs for? To uphold normal?” Lili said, stopping filing her nails.

Asuka hopped from her bed in one motion balling her fists. Her room blurred past and she slammed her hands on the desk. The muscle in her neck twitched as she leaned over her. Asuka’s broad shoulders shaded her from the light. A hollow burned in her chest. She growled out,

“I need it Lili. I need it.”

Setting her file aside the grin on Lili’s face, the one Asuka of a different time would’ve called unreadable, read hungry delight. She saw her perfect teeth widen across her lips. Her canines glinted.

“Now, did you think I’d stop you in this endeavor?”

They used the limo. Dad still allowed Asuka errands and hanging out, so long as Lili swore to keep an eye on her. And, of course, Asuka had to show her hands when coming home. They’d walk several blocks without looking back or stopping save for Asuka’s new habit of fiddling with her sparring gloves hidden in her pocket.

By the first busy intersection Sebastian would park. He never skipped out or let himself be late. Not once did she hear him complain or caution them; save for politely praying they be safe and that Lili understood what they were doing. At that last point Lili had given him a look. Asuka never heard it again. If the old man wore any frustrations they found a home in his caring eyes instead.

Her first time back made the boys drop fists and run hoping to not get crushed in the stampede. Their hollering bounced off the alley full of apartment blocks where no one stuck their head out the window. Asuka stood hand on hip sucking her teeth.

“Hey! None of that now; we’ll find a catch next.”

“…We fuckin’ better.” Asuka said, pouting.

“If nothing else you’ve certainly grown your fame.”

She whipped around glaring in protest but Lili laughed watching her ears go red. She sighed running a hand though her hair. A tiny smile brought some light.

And it was true. The next drive and the next gave her a handful of boys who found the fire in their fear to stand their ground. And there were an even smaller few who still hadn’t heard her name. Her knuckles grew slick with sweat, bones vibrating under the aftershocks linking blow after blow. She stamped it into her skin, her muscle, her bright grin. Thinking faded into the waters of a dark, dark place. She went blank again. To herself she smiled like a child.

Lili was spared repeating the dangers of their first time; boys barely got a word out before Asuka crashed upon them, a furious living storm. In fact their teamwork lasted a day or two before she complained Asuka was having all the fun. She taunted her over not being capable of pulling in a share. But from then on Asuka beat up a few less as they slid through the rainy season into early August.

So, then, Asuka made herself blink raindrops from her eyes and cocked her head when she found it blooming under her bloodied sparring gloves. A chain of bruises spotted her skin with sickly flowers.

“No…no no no no. No! Why?!”

“Why…are you, fussing?” Lili huffed as she wheeled a boy down using Aiki Nage. One stomp of her heel against his chest (Lili called it the Root of Evil; Asuka had long since given up rolling her eyes).

“Look!”

Panting Lili leaned over her suddenly stone still.

“Dearest me. I suppose we must retire early today.”

“I’m not finished!”

“With that you most certainly are.” She hissed without anger.

Asuka grunted. Lili touched her earpiece and barked,

“Sebastian!”

Like clockwork the limo rounded the corner.

Lili dragged her waving off Sebastian to stay put before he could step out as she opened the door. Another white sheet of rain beat against the roof. Their bodies scrambled sliding onto, around the leather seats. Somehow they struggled upright. Lili slammed the door shut. Asuka barely knew she was sitting when she saw Lili picking through a container islanded between them and the driver seat. She set a white box on her lap.

“Hold still, let me see it.”

Asuka came into focus; she offered her hand. The cold pack sent shuddering chills racing down her body. She hissed gritting her teeth. Thinking fast Lili tied it atop her hand by wrapping gauze. Gently she pressed it in deeper, sinking against her seat. Throbbing violently her skin screamed at her; the clench of her jaw yelled ‘Shut Up!’ right back. 

“Here.”

She blinked letting her head roll toward Lili’s voice. A long oval pill sat pinched between Lili’s fingers; she heard the rattle of the bottle as she held it up.

“Acetaminophen should serve nicely.”

Asuka’s eyes grew half lidded, the pain second worst besides the ache coursing up her arm. Without thinking she closed the pill between her teeth no more gently than taking a kitten by the scruff. She heard Lili’s gasp but didn’t care, and swallowed as she leaned back.

“Ya got any water fer this?”

“What a ridiculous question ma chère.”

At the press of a button a side compartment slid away a lid revealing a cooler inside the island. Lili passed her bottled water. Asuka gulped it down.

“You know you’re very lucky you don’t break your skin open completely; or that you’ve not broken a knuckle bone. With how often you prefer punching lately.”

“What tha’ hell ya know about medicine?” Asuka asked, surprised, staring at her out the corner of her eye.

“Sebastian has had…several…experiences tending me. It felt proper I should learn some along the way.”

The old man glanced at them in the rearview mirror. Asuka thought she saw the edges of a smile.

“Doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“Yes, well. I am of many talents. And I believe you are due to finally sing of them.” She chirped, grinning as she flipped her still drying hair. When damp it turned into slippery spaghetti sliding over her face and Asuka snorted a laugh.  

They sat letting the engine’s low rumble pass between them; staring out the windows. Now the city disappeared, buried under pouring rain. It drummed a pounding rhythm against the limo; stomping its footsteps every which way. The slight sway as the limo moved started rocking her; her head nodded off. But of course, Lili wanted to say more. It would have irked her just a bit, if the adrenaline wasn’t leaving her body. Her knuckles hurt less. The muscles had grown cold and heavy. Tight.

“It’s been about fifteen minutes wouldn’t you say? Let me see it one more time; we can’t possibly leave it as is.”

“How the hell are ya keepin’ Dad from spottin’ this? There’s a buncha ‘em all over.”

Lili held up her makeup bag in both hands, her face suddenly more smile than face. She giggled fidgeting giddily; shock kept Asuka’s stomach from dropping but not her jaw. Her eyes bulged though she should’ve known better. She buried her face in her good hand. Of course that would be the solution.

“What about when it wipes off if I have’ta wash my hands?!”

“Then you will refrain from doing so until he is either sleeping, preoccupied enough he leaves us alone, or is out of the house. Or in cases like the bathroom, you may message my cellular after your business and I shall distract him or excuse myself buying us time.”

“…I hope yer right.”

“Relax. There are several waterproof brands in my collection for the choosing. At least one should complement your skin tone and be of use, so long as you avoid soap.”

Giving her a cautious look Asuka sighed then offered her hand. The liquid stuff gave her chills she never got over while the powders reminded her of flour.  The makeup brush tickled. Lili explained each new layer, how everything must go with the mixed green and yellow foundation. Those colors were best at hiding redness. Each layer stacked like a cake. At times Lili muttered to herself checking, double checking, triple checking her work. Sometimes Asuka tingled feeling the tip of her nose graze her. Never had Asuka seen her hunch over or have any posture than a straight back. But here she didn’t care at all. Eventually Lili stopped talking altogether. Unease crept with the silence. But, little by little Asuka let herself watch. Her mind went blank, lost in the rhythm watching an art be practiced.

And it was an art; her skin may as well have stitched itself whole. She could only tell the skin tone was slightly off if she stared too long. But she couldn’t be upset with using what they had. It would probably be enough. It had to be. Her face pinched for an instant; she smoothed it out.

“Thanks.”

“You are welcome. Continue using the ice; concealer has its limitations.”

Asuka obeyed, shivering, unable to ignore the damp soaking her clothes any longer. They fell silent again; the engine purred. She drew closer against her touching their knees. She sighed in relief feeling warmth. Lili did the same, since she was taller her body heat radiated over the top of Asuka’s head.  

“This damned rain has made me dreadfully chill.”

Sebastian turned a knob beside the steering wheel; more warm air flooded from the vents. Asuka let the ice bag slide into her lap. Her brow narrowed. Her brain spilled words for her; that racing anxious ball in her chest reminding her too much of everything she’d seen on prey animals being torn apart.

“…What if Dad figures this out anyway? What the hell am I supposed ta’ do when I’ve never seen ‘im so pissed…”

“My father shut me inside our house.”

“He what?!” Asuka looked at her.

“Yes. When he discovered I participated at the fifth Iron Fist Tournament he yelled at me, for the first time in my life, for our entire argument. He is a soft spoken man you see. Even when serious or giving a command he finds raising one’s voice distasteful. The idea one of his family could seek battle made him sick enough to collapse when he’d heard. He is too much a pacifist for his own good. That I kept my involvement a secret worsened my punishment.” Lili said bitingly soft and eyes far away again; drowned. Asuka could feel the scolding hearing Dad’s voice instead; she winced.

“So then, ya got grounded so bad that he…”

“I couldn’t take one step out the front door. Leaving my room was itself treated with suspicion. Our help staff reported all my movements and escorted me to and from family meetings or dinner and so on. He refused looking me in the eye. We could hardly hold conversation. Mother took great care stressing those points. I believe it amused her.”

 “…That’s horrible. But ya got out fighting in the sixth tournament right? How’d ya manage that? Did ya stuff a doll under yer blanket and climb out the window?”

Asuka imitated shimmying down a rope like in movies; Lili giggled.

“Something rather like that, yes. Jin Kazama visited his barbarism upon us shortly after leaving Father bedridden. I feared for him. I told myself I had no use feeling such a way; he must hate me as it stands. Yet I couldn’t help sharing his sickness seeing him in that state, a walking corpse. Mother was hysterical over the security of our funds after our forced merger. On all other subjects she went deaf. I…I had to do something for him myself.”

“An’ that was winnin’ the tournament.”

“Taking Jin Kazama’s resources as he begged for my mercy would have been payment enough.”

Asuka sat straight crossing her arms. She hummed in thought.

“If ya got ‘im that way yer dad woulda gotten angrier. Probably.”

“Perhaps. I can’t deny the chance. But at least he can complain safe in knowing what rightfully belongs to him has returned.”

Asuka huffed. She stared at the floor, the seats, out the window. Her words dragged each other searching for the strength she gathered piece by piece. The hurt cracked her throat. It felt strange, hearing herself from someone else’s mouth.

“I know ya… ya were lookin’ fer me back then. Doesn’t matter what ya did, I don’t think ya coulda found me. And it was better ya didn’t.”

“Why would that possibly be?”

“I…got real angry. I didn’t care who I hurt long as it got me close to the people that pissed me off. I fought ya at the tournament sure, but the one after wasn’t about just Dad or havin’ fun.”

She watched the veins flex in her hand as she clenched it. It pulsed her heartbeat, solid and rough worn after a lifetime together.

“I woulda done ya in real bad. And I don’t think I’d be able ta’ stop no matter who was under me.”

She breathed out hard; her fist began trembling. Her heart drummed.

“I remember hearin’ about Jin, the anger, not findin’ ‘im…not even carin’ along tha’ way. I got ta’ fight lots of people; every single one of ‘em just like ‘im. An’ when I came home Dad kept layin’ in that hospital bed, blacked out. He never opened his eyes. So when more of those people like Jin fer some reason came stumblin’ around the dojo from tha’ tournament, I couldn’t think of nothin’ else. I had ta’ turn ‘em into pulp. Anyone I saw. That made me feel somethin’, ya understand?”

Her grit teeth glinted under the lights.

“Fightin’ let me feel somethin’ so I didn’t have ta’ feel nothin’ else anymore. It just makes sense ta’ me. An’…it’s people like Jin an’ that Kempo bastard who can turn people like me this way.”

She searched Lili for signs of approval, for some base understanding. The logic held up itself, it didn’t need anything more. But instead Lili’s face pinched; this time not with anger or insult. This time Asuka’s stomach dropped far worse; she found disappointment. Lili looked directly at her. Firm yet gentle came her reply,

“I don’t think that’s true about you at all. Fighting because they made you want it.”

“An’ what’s that mean?”

Lili scoffed and crossed her arms.

“You should bother with a bit of reflection. Perhaps I shall give you yet another example to ease you along.”

Asuka glared, grumbling, starting to speak with a curse or two on her tongue, but kept her mouth shut. Maybe there would be a point.

“I made my escape for Father…but I hoped to see you.”

Lili tapped her chest with a finger putting just enough force to start tipping her.

“Fer your stupid rematch.” Asuka said jabbing her right back.

“Yes and no.”

“Ugh, again with tha’ stupid riddles!” Her head began throbbing.

“I… did something for someone else, and for myself. I fought so I could achieve what I wanted and found joy in fighting to do so. Nothing forced; nothing coerced.”

“Fighting cuz ya want it is no different from a thug! Everybody loses when ya resort ta’ that and any kinda violence.” Or so Dad had told her over and over.

 “Is that so? Then what are you calling everything we’ve done these last few weeks? Or how about why you decided continuing to fight would be the best way of achieving the goals on your journeys?”

“That…that’s not tha’ same.” Asuka grumbled a chill ripping through her no longer able to meet Lili’s eyes. She rubbed her head.

“I suppose you may call it whatever you like. Clearly so far such a method has suited you.”

“…I wanted ta’ go home too ya know.”

‘Sometimes. Sometimes I did.’

She yawned. The air had gone from warm to heated, like when she was seven and visited the neighbor’s puppies all piled together in a box. Beside her she felt Lili wait a moment before starting up again on their field performance today. Her clothes were dried, stiff from the rainwater that’d soaked through in the first place. She let her eyes go heavy. This time her aching body got its way. Her head rolled against her shoulder. Curling against her felt easy; she was so warm. Asuka’s voice dragged.

“Lili. I need ya ta’ be quiet right now. Can ya do that fer me?”

“…Yes.”

“I’m gettin’ sleepy.”

She heard her give Sebastian an order and was out like a light.

Her dream took her back home and sat her in the living room. She looked down finding her favorite floor pillow; the TV flickered casting its light over the tatami mats.  The room was bright, burning into her eyes and hurting even when she shielded them. On screen a movie played without sound. She held her breath. The entire house had fallen quiet. Nothing filtered in from outside either. She started breathing in shallow strokes. She made herself look at the TV. There played out her life- from Dad encouraging her first steps, to beating down elementary school bullies, into her second year of middle school when Dad let her teach her first class. Each new slide overtook the old one after barely a few seconds. Her heart hammered but she watched.

Next she saw high school, biking to her entrance ceremony, everyone wanting to share lunch with her, then the splintered floor and walls with their pieces buried under those who’d gotten in the way. Dad’s body long wheeled away in an ambulance. She saw the surviving students, the fear stamped on their faces clear even in this place. Somewhere she heard someone vomit again. Jin was a hazy thing, a memory of a memory of a concept. All she remembered best were her fists, battle, shadowy figures one by one marching upon the house or crumpling with no answers for where he could be. A whirlwind she recognized by the scent of blood filling her mouth and old friend adrenaline coursing through her.

Everything, there played everything, until finally there sat her body sleeping in the back of Lili’s limo.  

Wait a minute. Lili…and Dad…and-

“Hey!! Anyone?! I’m over here!”

She stood looking around and met only with more silence. The hairs on her neck rose. She stomped through the halls from door to door; all were locked. Asuka licked her lips, chest heaving up and down. She ran up the stairs; every sign of Lili had been scrubbed from her room. Her entire existence erased. She ran to Dad’s room but the lock had bolted shut from the other side. Looking down she glanced at her hands. Bruises blossomed on her skin.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

A chill froze her to her spot. She stared into the ceiling; the voice rattled her bones forcing from her a whimper. This was Dad. Sweat dripped slicking her palms. Her breaths were a machine gun shooting clouds into the air.

“DISOBEYING AGAIN? ABANDONING ME AGAIN? DOES HURTING ME PLEASE YOU?”

Her throat let out a pathetic cry. She tore herself from that spot and raced downstairs. The front door wouldn’t give. The side doors to the outside wouldn’t give. Frantically she kept forcing it until she swallowed hard and threw herself against it. She kicked. Still it didn’t budge. From the kitchen window she spotted her bike, smashed to pieces in a pile. Asuka ran to the kitchen; all the knives were gone. The air choked, it burned to breathe.

“AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE DONE AND SACRIFICED FOR YOU. ALL MY WORDS HAVE FALLEN ON DEAF EARS; YOU DISAPPOINTMENT OF A CHILD.”

Her back pressed against a wall.

“Somebody…hey, somebody…”

A crash from the other side of the house shook everything. A grating sound flooded her ears; the voices of two men wrecking their way closer and closer. Her jaw tensed, everything tensed. She raised her fists with half a heart in it.

“FOOL GIRL OF MINE; CARRY THE WEIGHT OF WHAT YOU HAVE WROUGHT.”

Her blood buzzed, brain pounding as the world started spinning. The ground grew closer.

Somebody.

Somebody.

Hey somebody-

Asuka woke up. She lurched forward but remembered she was sitting just in time to not tumble out the seat. Something heavy bound her in place keeping her from getting very far. She turned her head. Lili leaned against her right shoulder, fast asleep. Her breaths tickled Asuka’s neck. She glanced to her stomach; Lili hugged her tight. The calm on her face slowed her racing heart. Even as Lili’s hair spilled everywhere, a few strands tickling her mouth. With a bit of work she managed wrapping an arm around her. That stupid dream couldn’t disappear fast enough.

‘I guess yer cute too, sometimes.’

“Hey. Gramps.”  She called softly.

“Yes?”

“Take us home, please.”

His smile glinted off the rearview mirror.

“As you wish.”

If an obstacle stood in her way she would face it.

Dad gave her hands another once over, humming in thought. She kept her face as straight as possible. Their eyes met. He let her go. He crossed his huge arms over the slimmed remains of his barrel chest. He’d always been a big tall guy; now he had the posture of an oni guarding one of the hells.

“Dinner’s on the table for ya both. Gotta be ice cold by now though.”

“S’alright we can heat it up. Right, Lili?”

She scratched her head still playing cool and turned to her. Lili’s mouth twitched a bit in disgust at the thought, but she fixed herself. She smiled politely and gave a nod; Asuka figured that counted as good enough.

“But of course Mr. Kazama! Why, your cooking is so superb I know it shall be as delicious as when new.”

Asuka’s face fell into a dry ‘Really?’ with just her eyes.

‘Ok now yer overdoing it.’

“Wow. That’s the biggest compliment anyone’s ever paid my cooking! Asuka your friend has some taste you could learn from.” He said ruffling her hair.

She balled her fists and pouted; she wasn’t a little kid! From the corner of her eye Lili was fighting a giggle staring at them. Asuka’s blush grew.

“We’re not friends.”

“Well ya coulda fooled me with how much time you two spend together these days. Quit being so stubborn; just think about how poor Lili feels hearing you say that.”

Gah! He knew how to play on her embarrassment.

‘Damnit old man…!’

She turned facing Lili who made a show of twirling a lock of hair, genuinely waiting for what she felt owed. Asuka scratched her head.

“I guess…you are…almost my friend. We’re…partners.”

Lili blushed. Her doe-eyed stare made Asuka feel funny.

“Well that coulda been better but if the lady isn’t complaining all must be forgiven! C’mon an’ eat before it gets any later. I’ve already finished mine but I don’t mind listening to you girls talk about yer day.” He said slapping her on the back before heading off.

When they had room for themselves again she sighed in relief.

“You consider me your partner?” Lili said each word like she was catching them and putting them in jars.

“Yeah. Don’t think too hard on it.”

Instead Lili clasped her hands over her chest, squealing and giggling. She twirled then started skipping lighter than air toward the kitchen. Asuka huffed, but a grin upturned her mouth.

“Moron.”

The pain sucker punched her until her eyes widened half keeling over. With her nerves out the way she finally felt her bladder bursting. She had to fuckin’ pee! But why? Why now so close to the finish line? She studied her knuckles; the makeup was holding up fine. Her breath hitched.

‘The water from when I took that painkiller!’

And then after she’d had the bright idea to fall asleep. When they’d stepped out the limo her mind had been scrambled eggs thinking about fooling Dad. She clutched her head running in place folding her lips in to not make a sound.

‘Short end of the stick, short end of the stick- how do I always get the short end of the stick?!’

No. She stopped herself and straightened her shirt. All she had to do was not pee. The day was practically over. She checked the time on her phone. Dad would head to bed in about an hour or less since he already ate. If she didn’t go to dinner he’d know she wasn’t feeling right. They always talked over dinner. Just hold it! How hard could it be to hold taking a piss?

Pretty damn hard.

She got through four minutes struggling down karaage before she started shifting in her seat. She chatted and smiled and did her best to not space out into her food. Lili was keeping eyes on her but only whenever he glanced away. Asuka didn’t stand out, right until the second Dad’s brow wrinkled. Her heart jumped. She stayed cool.

“You alright girl? Ya keep wiggling around.”

“It ain’t nothin’.”

“Well ya keep doing it, figured I’d ask.”

Shit! The worry on his face turned flips in her stomach. She swallowed. The more you deny the more suspicious you appear. Her phone weighed down her shorts pocket.

“I gotta pee.” She said in a small voice, glancing away.

“Seriously? Go ahead! Ah sorry for her language Lili. It’s been just us two before you moved in.”

“I find her bluntness can be rather endearing.”

Lili laughed but the smile didn’t reach her ears. The look in her eyes chided ‘Already? Already?!’ and Asuka grit her teeth.

‘I don’t like it either!’

It hurt standing up but she did then speed walked to the stairs before running. She rushed inside the water closet beside the bathroom, closing the door as normally as she could, sighing hard.

There were ten seconds of relief as she turned on the faucet. Then the soap landed in her palm. Her heart was thudding in her wrists, up her throat, through her veins.

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’

She got to her knuckles and scrubbed gently as if feather dusting. Asuka squeezed her eyes shut working centimeter by terrible centimeter. She opened her eyes. The red of her bruises ringed a border where the makeup peeled. Asuka stared at the ceiling absorbing silence. Then she kept washing.

[To: Dumbass]

[I’m done. Get up here, hurry!]

She flipped her phone closed; her leg bounced up and down sitting on the toilet lid, head bowed, breathing between the seconds. How would she explain everything to Dad? Could she? Her open hands were trembling giving her one resignation. He wouldn’t understand. She let her mind wander, feeling the impact of bone on fist ripple through her arms. No, he wouldn’t know. Better to stop thinking about it.

Her head snapped up hearing the doorknob turn; Lili came barging in gripping her makeup bag. Quickly she shut the door and knelt beside Asuka; it made her think of the doctor at her last physical.

“How bad is it? Let me see.”

Asuka put her hands up. Lili gasped. Immediately she set to work. The entire disguise hadn’t disappeared but it was close enough.  She kept herself stone still this time. Her eyes glanced from her hand to the door and back again until Lili gently swatted her arm.

“Will you stop that, I can fix this.”

“Could ya do it faster he’s gonna get suspicious.” She whispered, annoyed.

Lili’s head snapped up at her not hiding the irritation.

“Yes, please allow me to simply wave my magic brush thereby dispersing your bruised blood back into your body. There’s fast and then there’s doing a convincing job ma chère.”

“I’m sorry.” She murmured.

“As your partner I’m inclined toward forgiving you.”

Asuka’s face widened stammering and pretending to fish for a comeback; she huffed not fighting a blush. Lili giggled. She worked a little faster but no less thorough, until Asuka started forgetting why they were stuck here.

Then her reminder knocked. Lili jolted clinging suddenly against her knees; she steadied her.

“Asuka? It’s been an hour ya alright in there?”

“I’m fine! Just, uh, doin’ the other one.”

Lili gave her the most dead-eyed, embarrassed, disgusted face she’d ever seen on a human being. She mouthed, ‘What am I supposed ta’ say?’ and slumped, humiliation throbbing under her skin.

“That’s still bad! Don’t force yerself ya hear? Anyway I can’t find Lili so when yer done see if ya can make sure she’s alright. Yer leftovers are in tha’ fridge. I’m headin’ ta’ bed.”

As his footsteps started turning Lili’s makeup cases crashed to the floor. She’d leaned in just enough, shrinking at the calls of his gruff voice. Asuka threw a hand over her own mouth and the other over Lili’s. She recoiled struck through with fear and bumped the wall behind her. He stopped.

“What was that? Somethin’ breakin’? Did ya trip?”

Lili scurried picking up her things but only made more noise; Asuka helped, her fingers trembling.

“N-Nothin’! It ain’t nothin’.”

“Oh no ya don’t- I’m not fallin fer the ‘I’m fine Dad!’ but ya hurt yerself and get stubborn as a mule sayin’ anythin’. Like tha’ time ya slipped in the tub. I’m comin’ in, prepare yerself!”

Her heart dropped. They’d lost. She froze watching the door open in slow motion.

Instantly his worry fell, rising again with rage like sparked fire. She followed the path of his sight. Her bruises peeked through their half-finished cover; her hands clenched on Lili’s shoulders. Dad’s eyes hardened.

“Ya wanna hurt people that bad, huh? Or do ya just not care about hurtin’ yerself? Which is it Asuka?”

She could taste her heartbeat.

“I’m sorry.”

 “Yer sorrys are countin’ fer little lately. And you, yer helpin’ her too; I can’t believe it.”

Lili went pale. Asuka saw her swallow hard, feeling it in her own throat. She didn’t think; she stood in front of her. Her eyes narrowed never tearing off him. He raised a brow.

“Tell me why.”

“I couldn’t not! People count on me to feel safe; police never solve a thing. Every second I was stuck here I was eating myself from the inside. I’m not gonna sit and take that.”

Every deeper word holding each other from tumbling formed a dam in her.

“…I’m disappointed.” His voice went rigid.

“Eh?” Her hands shook so she balled them.

“Lili, how many people did you two help recently?”

“…One…sir.”

“Lili!”

“And I suppose the two others were yourselves. And I suppose, Asuka, you felt stronger and stronger.”

That wasn’t untrue. She sucked her teeth quietly. Static crackled her brain.

“Not by much...”

Lili’s face pinched blurting out her thought; she felt the slightest tremble from her.

“Had you done as now during the tournament it may have meant my life.”

The instant the words became more than spit on Lili’s tongue Asuka put a hand over her mouth. She was too late. A vein popped on Dad’s forehead. His fists balled and his teeth glinted on every syllable. They shrank at the fury in his eyes.

“During the what?! Asuka what is she talking about?”

“…When you sold the dojo to Lili…we were fighting at the recent Iron Fist Tournament. And it was her fault I was there in the first place! She signed me up and called me after.”

“Yes but I had nothing to do with your being in the sixth tournament.” Lili’s voice cracked rushing, her words bleeding together.

Asuka’s eyes widened. She nudged her.

 “The sixth too?! What were ya doing there? How did ya even-“

“Jin! That stupid Jin invaded and destroyed any country he set his sights on-“

“How do you know about him?”

The look in his eye made her shrink back.

“I, I saw his last name and his face shares some stuff with ours so…and he was in the news. Back when he started his mess.”

“That would’ve been when I was unconscious at the hospital…then you weren’t looking after me. You abandoned me?”

“I FOUGHT FOR YOU! Just like I did hunting the bastard who hurt you!”

Her voice boomed, split, cracked down the middle. The air stilled; she’d never yelled at him. Something changed about him, her body told her to run.

“Lili, why did you force my daughter into the last Iron Fist?”

Asuka’s head turned stiffly; Lili was gripping part of her shirt. Somehow she kept her face level, her eyes sincere despite the waver as she spoke.

“I wished to fight her again. I hoped of finally claiming revenge for losing my honor after she defeated me at our first meeting.”

“And where did you first meet?”

“The fifth Iron Fist, where she was seeking your attacker.”

“Did you find him, Asuka?”

“…No.”

Dad rubbed his chin. He wore no emotion. Or it was more like the rage stretched so tight it slid into blank nothingness.

“I want you out of my house. Leave my house, now. Asuka, you’re not taking one step outside the front gate.”

“But-?!” Asuka cried with her, both bent in terror.

“You brought my daughter directly under the Mishima’s notice and only by divine luck did they do nothing to her. You kept that from me.”

“I-“

“GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!”

He roared the command letting it bounce off the walls so that it crashed over them in a wave. And that was that. They lost. Lili slumped against her, eyes dead. With a gentle grip Asuka guided her past his glare into their room. She never once felt herself breathe; not even as Lili cried. She saw herself from the outside and collapsed onto her bed, motionless in static.

An hour was needed before everything Lili owned was crammed into the same old duffle and suitcase. They looked around the room. Seeing the bare walls, the flutter of her curtains, the open signs of herself pulled a scab from Asuka as it formed. She winced. Beside her Lili started wheeling her things, then looked back and took her hand. It ached. Her eyes were still red, makeup ruined, and Asuka crushed the start of tears. Her voice pleaded under a soft command.

“Don’t let it drive you mad Asuka Kazama.”

Then she was down the stairs and out the front door and climbing into her limo, then Asuka stood alone in the night.

She didn’t wake up until the sun was flooding her window.  Her throat burned and she went into a coughing fit rolling lazily on her side. Her rug lay on the floor. She blinked. It was still there. She squeezed her eyes shut really, really hard. Rug. Outside the trees were dead still. The birds were quiet today.

She didn’t look him in the eyes at breakfast. Really, she didn’t look at him at all. When he spoke he spoke to a wall. When he tried lecturing her to not act so down she dumped her food in the trash, tossed the plate in the sink, and locked herself in her room. She’d tasted nothing anyway. If she went somewhere and saw his shadow ahead she ducked and hid herself or took a longer route. When she bathed or used the bathroom she did it fast, trying to go after whenever she knew he did. Her day she marked by the shadows along her ceiling, but even when the sunlight changed colors or fell away she wouldn’t leave bed. He learned, after a lot of grumbling on deaf ears and a dozen silences, to knock and leave her meals outside. He argued, shouted, pleaded to see her but she wouldn’t give him a thing. Eventually there was only the quiet.

She couldn’t leave, that first week which became two weeks. Or maybe it was shorter than that, or longer. She had no mind for counting. She had no mind. Lead had moved into her body and decided it liked having a space of its own. When it decided to set up furniture, only then did she feel the bites it’d chewed out her insides.  The pitted scars it left were jagged and merciless.

On that afternoon after waking she clenched herself really, really tight, until her heart hammered up her mouth. She sat up and made it to the computer. Dragging herself became a struggle stepping around a few plates. At first she’d done her dishes whenever he went to bed, but one day she lay down without doing it. She learned she could sleep that way. If you could sleep through it you could accept anything. That old lesson reared its head again without any fight from her.

Asuka slid into her chair and booted the old thing up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The scent of Lili’s perfume still hung around but had grown stale; this place was due for airing out. She looked through her browser bookmarks and opened every bike store in a new tab. Her bank account still had money. Dad never said anything about not spending it. If the magazine catalog was gonna take forever she may as well give online a shot.

On a notepad she wrote her list:

Hubs

Brake Levers

Chainring & Chainstays

Brake & Cabling

Tires (mountain grip type) & Wheels

Saddle

Front & Rear Derailleur

The paper grew cramped; she buried a hand in her hair. The words blended together, lead fog rolling over her, but she gritted her teeth and started typing. One by one she went down comparing the most reliable against those adding speed and reducing weight from each type. Lili would want everything pretty over function, covered in decal art roses as much as real ones. She smiled to herself. Asuka chewed her lip and checked off her list. Then she crawled back under the covers into a ball. The hum of the computer filled her ears, its glowing screen her nightlight as she slept.

Lili giggled walking along a water swirled beach in her dream. The sea pooled around their ankles. Asuka said nothing holding her hand, catching up. She didn’t care where she might follow.

When she woke a few birds sang announcing her yawn as she scratched her head. Her hand fumbled around finding her phone. The time read eleven. At least this time she beat the lunch hour. She stood sluggishly, forcing herself into doing stretches. They were hell on her stiff muscles but got the blood flowing; she moved easier again. Then she stopped by the kitchen tucking a slice of bread in her mouth, grabbed her water bottle, and went outside. The front gate was locked. Where Dad was she didn’t care.

She sat on the crate facing her bike, chewing thoughtfully. While she waited on parts now was the time for another check-in. At least, that’s all she did for the first half hour. She wrote down every fix, replacement, and what could stay divided by colored pencils. Then she stared at the frame, and stared at it. She never marked the sky passing by or moved save for if she remembered her water bottle. All the streets, lanes, avenues she’d ever ride down played their routes in her mind. She thought of where she’d been, where she could go in a different future- maybe even outside the city. She thought of finally testing the forest trails and saw herself racing through flying colors over rocks or cliffs or streams. Lili could come with her, but only in the city lanes, watching the sunset down by the ports.

She did this every day. Dad crossed paths with her, his face dropping in shock but saying nothing. She took more food gradually; then one day a meal was left out for her and the day after that and so on. Finally the parts came within days of each other. She got to work. Her skin, hair, and clothes grew black streaked and sweat matted under the August sun day in, day out. Wire the brakes, tighten the hubs, replace the saddle, tighten the cassette, grease the chain before threading it, and screw in the handlebars and bolt in the wheels after sliding on the tires. Routine keeps you sane. She thought of all the places she would go. Of how many more people she could fight. The hunger lurched inside her, fists aching. She held it in her mouth.

Her eighteenth birthday came and went with Dad’s cake the reminder that snapped her from her work. It was a big layered thing where each section represented a different flavor. Covered in frostings of birds and waves and fruit as it leaned under its weight, she swore she saw it in a textbook once. The Leaning Tower of…someplace. He smiled ear to ear hopeful as he clapped her on the shoulder, asking her if she liked it. She tried the strawberry part- her face lit up; eyes almost popping out her skull. She took more stacking them together before devouring them.

“It’s fuckin’ good!”

He’d ordered it special since he still had money from selling the dojo. Her heart warmed. For a moment the wind whistles outside; the trees dance. Using short bursts they made conversation. Everything felt a little easier. By evening storm clouds gathered. When she crawled into bed lying under the covers brought reality in darkness. One good thing reminded her of every other good thing she didn’t have. Plugging one hole made the others leak faster; the hunger gnawed her. She gritted her aching teeth and held her smallness. Tears warmed her face, her humiliation.

‘Am I still strong?’

A choked cry.

‘I’m scared.’

Howling winds beating at her window pelting water like a battering ram scared her awake. She shivered; cold slipped through the glass. Her phone beeped twice; she froze.

[From: Dumbass]

[Come outside. Please.]

Asuka threw off the covers and ran.

The rain poured fast and ugly driving swirling rivers into the earth. Lili’s wiry body climbed spiderlike over the gate, almost tumbling when her heels hit the mud. Their eyes met and Asuka’s heart stopped. Lili ran to her.  At times she stumbled but never stopped. Then there she was, standing breathless at the door.

Lili stared at her, shaken, tired, yet bursting with a racing mind behind her eyes. What little makeup she’d applied drizzled away. She looked like she had a million things to say, but couldn’t remember any of them at the final hour.  So instead she moved closer until Asuka felt her warmth. She let her put her hands on her shoulders; Lili hesitated, weighing what came next. Asuka felt her fear, could all but taste it. Knowing something made her afraid and dealt impossible odds yet meeting the challenge to spite it-

‘That’s what I like about ya.’

Well then,

‘Come and take it, if ya can.’

Asuka closed her eyes and lifted her chin. She felt Lili’s trembling fingers slip into her hair.

The kiss pressed nervously but exploded her sense of being. There was no Asuka or Lili; there stood the thing the rain would not have.  They held each other hard and when they separated Lili breathed out,

“Je t'aime.”

Asuka stared at her lips, catching a breath. She could do better. She gripped Lili’s collar, kissing her and never giving a chance for air. Hungry. Finally gorging.

“Come in before ya get sick.” She said hoarsely.

The door shut.

#tekken #asulili #asuka kazama #lili de rochefort #my writing

[mtreebeardiles]

War of Warnings Unheeded, Ch 15 pt 1

Ended up splitting this one into two, to account for a POV shift. Hopefully the second half will be up sometime this week.

Part one is over on AO3!

The changes were subtle at first, after their little field trip to Despoina. Little alterations in day to day interactions, in scheduling, and to say it was rare to see Shepard without Alenko and Alenko without Shepard was an understatement.

Or maybe James was just used to paying attention to that sort of thing. 

Habit hard to shake after those months watching over Sunshine and while the two men had never been overt around him (or anyone else, so far as he could tell), it wasn't exactly hard to put two and two together. Just enough there for some plausible deniability, no real measure of reg-breaking fraternization (or whatever it was -- James had tried to work out the logistics once, the confused tangle of ranks and Spectre status and had ultimately decided it wasn't worth the headache), certainly nothing to give those who may have been oblivious to the little things before any reason to raise an eyebrow now. 

But then Leviathan happened, and Shepard had gone into those depths alone, and he hadn't been in great shape when he'd clawed his way back to the surface. 

So far as injuries went, Sunshine wasn't in bad shape: Alenko had acted fast enough to stabilize his core temperature, and so far as James could tell it wasn't as if the Commander had gotten into an actual fight with that monster beneath the waves. No, whatever he'd endured had been mental; James knew the signs. Sleeplessness, lack of appetite, and he wondered if the stress had set off another episode of vomiting. He was smoking again, too, having given up all semblance of quitting, and even Alenko didn't seem too pissed about it despite his obvious disapproval, so easy to see in the set of his jaw and the slight thinning of his lips any time he caught him at it. 

On the field, nothing changed: Shepard was as calm and cool and collected as ever, watching their backs and doing what he did best, a veritable ghost on the battlefield, but it was what came after that was different, now. Kitting down with Alenko, the Major's hands finding any excuse to touch him, Shepard taking any opportunity to stay close, to lean against him, to let his carefully controlled mask of poise slip to reveal how tired he was. More than a few kisses stolen in James's periphery, and he doubted he was the only one who saw them. Didn't begrudge them any, didn't engage in or encourage any rumors circulating around the ship and beyond, his poker face usually enough to dissuade the worst of the gossip. 

It was almost funny, really, the things people whispered about, the questions and possible answers, as if the two men hadn't been sharing a cabin this entire time.

Not exactly standard practice for a CO and XO, no matter how limited space on the ship was. 

Do they think one of them sleeps on the couch or something? 

But the gestures of affection had always been hidden away, and there was no proof to lend substance to speculation. And now…

Well. 

So to say he wasn't surprised to come across the pair late into the night cycle about a week after Despoina would've been an understatement. It was that dead hour Shepard seemed to have a knack for sensing, when most of the crew was either abed or focused on their duties elsewhere, leaving the usually bustling mess/common area largely deserted. And it wasn't like seeing him there was an unusual sight: baking was clearly therapeutic for him in the same way eating his cinnamon rolls seemed to be therapeutic for everyone else who could eat them. 

What was unusual was him leaning back against the counter, Alenko standing in front of him, arms braced on either side of the Commander's hips while Shepard ran restless fingers along the Major's shoulders. What was unusual was the serious set to his expression, troubled, lower lip caught between his teeth and Alenko looking…

Pretty fucking unhappy, if that scowl was anything to go by.

He couldn't hear what they were saying, their voices low murmurs pitched in a way to ensure they didn't carry very far, but whatever it was seemed pretty serious. Way more serious than one of Shepard's late night baking sessions generally warranted, the sort of conversation that would've made more sense upstairs, behind closed doors, where it would've been less obvious that they were arguing. Not a lovers' spat, so far as James could guess -- Shepard didn't seem distressed, for one, and he'd already seen first hand how the man reacted when he felt cornered against his will. Something related to the war, then? Some echo from the Leviathan mission? 

The door to the medbay whirring open had all three of them startling, Alenko stepping away from Shepard and Shepard straightening, tugging at the hem of his hoodie. Gray eyes spotted him mere seconds later and James flushed. Not that he had anything to be embarrassed about, exactly -- it wasn't like he was somewhere he shouldn't have been, though he supposed it wasn't good form to have remained silent as long as he had. Shepard frowned a little but didn't say anything, turning his attention to Dr. Chakwas as the woman joined him and Alenko, the Major already retrieving a glass and a bottle of brandy for the woman. 

James rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward, and slipped away with a quick salute in Shepard's direction. 

The Commander didn't stop him, but he felt his gaze on his back all the same.

#my writing #Everett Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #James Vega #mshenko #shenko #ME 3 #what other tags was I using for this one idek

[kingfakey]

clusterhead

#unedited #ivan's dead look features the flushed cheeks #on account of the headaches xo #that chronic pain life...... gotta inflict it on him

[rafej-cambanks]

D’s Prompt List A

Hi loveys,

Since I’ve been getting more requests for blurbs and such, I thought I would take a stab at writing my own prompt list! I wanted to give you guys some more options so I’m not using the same blurbs over & over. You can still request from Prompt List B but feel free to use this one as well! I will try to update it periodically. 

Send requests here!

All my love, D xo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you kidding me?

Go for it, babe.

My heart is pounding so fast.

I can’t help it.

Deep breath.

How could you not know how I feel by now?

That’s abundantly clear.

You’re right, I’m sorry.

I don’t understand why you can’t just admit it.

Um, ouch.

Where did that come from?

I’m yours.

It’s my turn.

I’m gonna need you to get over here right now.

You’re so cute when you…

Ugh, that smile.

I didn’t mean it like that.

What did I miss?

This is torture.

No, don’t stop on my account.

Phew, this is giving me a headache.

You’re a horrible liar.

I don’t know if I want to squeeze his cheeks or fuck him silly.

That’s a big word.

I’d like to plead the fifth.

Well, when you put it like that…

Do I look like I need _______?

Can you say something?

Tell me how you really feel.

I’m not great at this whole emotion thing.

Honestly, I’m trying my best.

Can I have your number?

It’s been a while, eh?

You’re such a dork.

Take my hand.

I can’t believe you just did that.

Next thing I know, we’re kissing.

A lady never tells.

I can handle myself.

I love this song!

You’re probably right about that.

Shh, don’t tell.

This makes me so happy.

Get away from me.

Is that drool?

Why is it always you?

You’re joking, right?

C’mon, [sing/dance] with me.

I can’t be hearing this right…

You’ve got my word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adding some of my taglist in case any of you want to make requests:

@skiesofthesketchy @pink-meringues @stargazingandmoon @astrestellar @x-lulu @deionswannabegirl @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @rudyismymanperiod @alexandramaylea @samantha0708-blog @killingbxys @dontjinx-it @bibliophilewednesday @nxsmss @themaddies-obx @tsb2021 @dreamypeaches @parkershoco @cherrylita @vintageobx @sweetlittlegingy @glux64 @juliarose21 @cheshirecat107 @xealia @celestialblae @adanielle8 @cossick29 @iccyyyybitch @ilovejjmaybank @spideybitey18 @hyperactive2411 @slutforjjmaybank @tabatha41299 @iateamoth @lannxyz @sadcupofcoffee @andreiaafaria

❤️

#Prompt List #Blurbs #Fics #Outer Banks #Teen Wolf #D's Prompt List #rafej-cambanks #❤️ #Prompt List A

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (18) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: heeey heyheyhey! i tried not to leave u all on a cliffhanger for too long. thank u so so much for all the love on the last chapter, it honestly made my whole week! again if u like this one feel free to send some love either to AQ or on my blog. hope u all enjoy! P.S. i knew i forgot to mention something! the song the girls sing at the end is called Good Girl’s Gone Bad by Booty Luv (lmfao) if u want to get the vibe of how it actually sounds, because i hate trying to convey a song via simply italicised lyrics lolol)

trigger warning: alcohol xo

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: the gang headed to a big house in the country and things between Brooke and Vanessa got a little more than civil in the hot tub.

this chapter: the girls have to pick up the pieces for the 195th time. but karaoke and gin solves everything, right?

***

Scarlet lay back in bed, panting and looking up at the ceiling as Yvie emerged from the covers underneath her, her cheeks red. Holding her arms out for a cuddle, Scarlet’s heart swelled up as Yvie, exhausted, threw her head down against Scarlet’s chest. Scarlet knew Yvie would be able to hear her heart beat. She liked that. She liked being intimate with Yvie in ways like they just had been, when Yvie’s tongue was between her legs and Scarlet was crying out into the silence of the house without a care for who heard them, but she also loved the intimacy of Yvie knowing parts of her that nobody else knew, like a secret they both shared.

“I love you,” Scarlet sighed, pressing a kiss to Yvie’s chaos of curls as the other girl wrapped her arms around her waist and squeezed.

“I love you too, baby. So much,” Yvie replied, Scarlet able to feel how she smiled against her skin and unable to stop herself from smiling too.

They lay there for a moment in the foreign room, Scarlet taking in their surroundings. A green carpet, scuffed and worn. A white ceiling with endless cracks snaking across it like a map. An inexplicably out of context painting of a hunt in the countryside, and a window with no curtains where the bright sunshine of the new day shone in unrelentingly through the unpolished glass.

“How are you this morning, you hanging?” Yvie asked her, Scarlet frowning.

“Nah. I never drank that much. You?” she asked, sitting up a little and causing Yvie to shift.

“I’ve got a little headache but I’m not sure if it was the alcohol or just this bed.”

“We were drinking red wine, to be fair. That was a bad call,” Scarlet rubbed her temples, concluding that she’d had a lucky escape. They’d bought it when Plastique had stopped at the small Co-Op in the village nearest the house to stock up, and they’d giggled in the wine aisle as they had decided to buy something civilised to pretend they were characters in an Agatha Christie novel and swan around the big house dressed to the nines. Although when Scarlet had seen Yvie last night she’d immediately wanted to rip her dress off. It had turned out Yvie had thought the same, and a little smile spread across Scarlet’s face as she remembered them, pressed up against the bedroom wall, messy and passionate as they hitched their dresses up and touched each other frantically and came apart. Scarlet wriggled, crossing her legs and squeezing them together.

“Jesus, what is with you this weekend? You’re so horny, like, all the time,” Yvie laughed, noticing her reaction. Scarlet gave a guilty smile.

“I can’t help it that I have the sexiest girlfriend here,” she shrugged, Yvie rolling herself onto her back and throwing her fists in the air into a triumphant stretch.

“Actually I think you’ll find I have the official hottest girl in the room as a girlfriend, so. Check and mate, princess."

Scarlet gave a snort. "Hey, I was merely a pawn in the huge game of fucking chess that is Vanjie and Brooke at the moment, I don’t think I was anything more than a jealousy crash test dummy.”

“Hmm, well. You got dummy right,” Yvie said playfully, laughing as Scarlet pushed her slightly off the bed, then pulled her back again. Scarlet pulled her close, unease forming in the pit of her stomach.

“You know I’m just yours, right? I only-”

“Oh my God Scarlet, relax!” Yvie laughed, squeezing her. “I know there was nothing to that kiss at all, shut up. I trust you. I love you. It was a dare, these girls are our friends, and Vanjie’s about as harmless as an actual cucumber. Chill.”

Scarlet obediently relaxed, glad to have reassured Yvie even if she didn’t need reassured in the first place. She paused, then spoke again. “I don’t know, you could do a bit of damage to someone with a cucumber.”

“I’d do a bit of damage to you with a cucumber,” Yvie wiggled her eyebrows, Scarlet screeching a laugh and swatting at her.

“You’re disgusting. I hate you.”

“You wish you hated me,” Yvie stuck her tongue out at her, and Scarlet sighed.

“It would make my life a lot easier if I did,” she replied playfully, a loud rumble from her stomach cutting her off. She frowned. “Hungry.”

Yvie gave another stretch, her ankles cracking loudly. “Do you want to go down, get the glasses from the living room and stick some bacon on a pan or some shit?”

“Stick some bacon on a pan or some shit. Gordon Ramsay, love your work!”

The two girls continued to bicker as they threw their pyjamas back on, bounced down the stairs and collected the glasses left in the living room from last night. Scarlet was glad to see that there were no rings left from any drinks on tables, her airbnb account safe from a scathing review from whoever even owned this place. Looking at the sofa her and Yvie had sat on last night, she laughed as she remembered her and Vanjie’s ridiculous kiss. The girl got no points for subtlety.

“How did Brooke get more jealous than you when me and Vanj got with each other? You’re my actual girlfriend and you gave less of a shit,” Scarlet mused, walking into the kitchen behind Yvie and setting the glasses down beside the sink.

“Because I know that I’m yours and you’re mine and Brooke knows that she fucked it with Vanjie so she can’t kiss her whenever she wants to like I can with you. I got to have you back in my arms after that kiss and have you reassure me, she didn’t get that,” Yvie shrugged, getting the bacon out of the fridge. She ran her tongue over her teeth as she locked eyes with Scarlet. “Plus it was hot, not gonna lie.”

“Fuck, are we going to have a threesome now, is that what this is?” Scarlet asked dryly, secretly flattered.

“Bad enough having to throw your fuckin’ teddy across the room whenever I’m dicking you down at yours.”

“Just once I’d love to talk about sex with you and not want to blow my own brains out,” Scarlet continued deadpanning, snorting as Yvie began to laugh in her own goofy way. Scarlet loved the old married couple bickering that they always seemed to fall into, having absorbed so much of Yvie’s humour the longer she spent with her. It was one of just so many things she loved about her. “Did something go on between them last night, by the way?”

“Oh, hundred percent,” Yvie rolled her eyes as she wrenched a frying pan from a cupboard. “Yay, another Brooke Lynn shaped mess me and Nina are gonna have to pick up the pieces of! Can’t wait!”

“Yves,” Scarlet warned, dunking the glasses into the hot, soapy water she’d filled the sink with. “Be nice. She’s your best friend, we all make mistakes.”

“I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her like a fucking maraca. It’s like she’s been challenged to make as many bad decisions that she can and if she gets to a certain amount she wins a prize. What do you think her target is? Two hundred? Five hundred?”

“Stop,” Scarlet laughed, her smile almost cracking her face as she turned around, hearing a set of footsteps pad softly down the steps to the kitchen. Akeria emerged, her makeup from the night before smeared across her face like a child’s painting and her long, blonde hair twirled up into a bun. “Morning, Kiki. You sleep okay?”

“The sleep was fine. It’s the awake part I’m strugglin’ with,” she groaned, sliding into one of the wooden chairs and resting her head in her hands. “Is this what a hangover’s like when you turn twenty two? I don’t want it.”

“No, that’s what a hangover’s like when you drink three bottles of six pound Shiraz,” Yvie raised an eyebrow at the suffering girl, Scarlet feeling guilty as she laughed.

“Leave me alone, it’s my birthday,” Akeria whined, Scarlet’s stomach rumbling again as the smell of bacon began to waft through the kitchen.

“Are you gonna use that excuse for the entirety of March?” Yvie chuckled, turning around from the aga. Scarlet took the rolls they’d bought out of the cupboard and got the butter out of the fridge.

“Yes,” Akeria rubbed her eyes so hard Scarlet worried for her eyelash extensions. “Tell me I didn’t do anythin’ embarrassing?”

“You honestly didn’t,” Scarlet said kindly, her heart going out to Akeria. “I don’t think you have any bad decisions to worry about.”

“Apart from the whole drinking three bottles of wine thing,” Yvie shrugged.

“Vanjie, on the other hand…” Akeria sighed, Yvie growing animated at the stove.

“Right? We were just talking about this. Do you know what happened?”

“Not yet. She better be in that fucking room with Silk and Plastique or I’ll personally whoop her ass,” Akeria narrowed her eyes.

“She’s not,” came Plastique’s voice from the stairs, Silky following after.

“Good morning campers! How are we?” Silky’s voice boomed cheerfully into the echoing kitchen, making Scarlet flinch even though she wasn’t all that hungover.

“Silky, I’m honestly going to murder you in your sleep,” Akeria said flatly.

“You think this is bad! The bitch decided to give me a full one-woman show of The Bodyguard last night before bed!” Plastique cried in outrage, filling the kettle up and flicking on the switch.

“It was BEAUTIFUL and EMOTIONAL and GROUNDBREAKING!” Silky yelled, throwing herself down into the chair next to her flatmate dramatically.

“Please someone kill me,” Akeria sighed.

“Were you guys talking about Brooke and Vanjie?” Plastique steered the conversation back as the kettle bubbled. “They’re in Brooke’s room. She didn’t sleep in ours.”

“I’m losing the will to live with her, I swear to Jesus,” Akeria sighed woefully, shaking her head like a long-suffering mother.

“So wait, what exactly is going on between them? Like, we can build quite a unique perspective here. We got me and we got Yvie to tell you what Brooke’s thinking, and we got you three to give us Vanjie’s perspective,” Plastique said, with all the energy of a detective solving a mystery. Yvie snorted.

“Yeah, good luck with that, we all know Brooke’s mind is like fucking Alcatraz,” she rolled her eyes, distributing the bacon between the rolls Scarlet had sliced open and buttered.

“And Monet can give us the Monique tea. Once she stops banging Nina,” Plastique shrugged. “Who wants tea, who wants coffee?”

“I want the sweet embrace of death,” Akeria murmured.

“TEA!” Silky ordered at top volume.

“Or failing that, to be deaf.”

Scarlet helped Plastique dish up teas and coffees. She remembered Monet and Nina were both tea people, and how they both took it (she’d spent enough time round at Yvie’s to be a tea-making expert for everyone that lived or was frequently round at the flat) so she made one up for each of the girls in case they emerged within the next five minutes or so.

“We should set up a charity. Flatmates Living with Absolute Pisstakers,” Yvie laughed humourlessly, Scarlet laughing as she realised something.

“FLAPS,” she abbreviated, causing the girls round the table to snort out a few giggles.

“Okay so what do you know?” Silky pointed a finger at Scarlet, the girl jumping a little in surprise. “We wanna see if it matches what we know.”

Scarlet shrugged. She’d had lectures with Vanessa and hung out like she always did, but if she was honest Vanessa hadn’t given away much about how she was feeling about Brooke. Scarlet had tried to prise something out of her, mentioning how it was good they had seemed to get along at her birthday party, but Vanessa had just shrugged and said she had to grow up and be civil eventually. She relayed this to the girls, Silky sighing deeply.

“Okay, good. So we know about as much as you,” she said, voice full of regret.

“She’s treating the whole thing as a massive joke, but we know different. We were there when she cried herself to sleep in the flat, we made her food when she couldn’t get out of bed. None of which she fuckin’ ate, but still. We know how much Brooke affected her, even if Brooke doesn’t,” Akeria explained. Scarlet’s heart hurt remembering how badly Vanessa took the breakup.

“She’s pretending that she’s over her and fuckin’ around with Monique ain’t helping,” Silky hissed.

Plastique made a face. “I think Brooke knew how much Vanessa liked her. She felt really bad about the breakup, but she was just doing what she thought was best.”

“Which is okay if that’s the decision that she’s sticking to! But it’s not! The bitch got up last night, kissed her in front of all of us and then probably slept with her!” Akeria sighed irritably, tearing into her bacon roll with aggression. Scarlet mirrored her sigh. That was the thing, she did have to agree with Akeria- Brooke breaking things off with Vanjie was fine, but changing her mind so violently? It had to mess with Vanjie’s head.

“Well, basically,” Yvie began, exhaling a little as she presumably knew what she was about to say would cause tension. “I get the impression from Brooke that she has changed her decision.”

Silky laughed harshly in disbelief. “What?!”

Yvie raised her hands in the air. “I mean, don’t shoot the messenger, but yeah. She was big pressed when V started sleeping with Monique. I think she feels like she fucked it.”

“Well, she did,” Akeria said venomously, just as footsteps came from the little steps to the kitchen. The girls held their breath, Scarlet’s eyes growing wide as she craned her neck to see who was coming.

“Morning!” Nina’s sing-song voice cut through the silence happily, pausing abruptly when she felt the atmosphere in the room. Scarlet felt sorry for her; she had no idea what she was walking into.

“Hey, girl. We made you both tea,” she smiled, addressing Monet who had traipsed in behind Nina in her huge baggy pyjamas, looking every inch still half-asleep.

“Okay, and what is the tea? Because you’re all suspicious as fuck right now. In the time I’ve known these girls, they’re never silent,” Monet raised an eyebrow, taking her cup and leaning against the counters. Silky leant forward, her face conspiratorial.

“We’re talking Brooke and Vanjie.”

“Oh, good,” Monet flared her nostrils as she celebrated sarcastically.

“Good, so you’re about as done with them as we are,” Akeria rolled her eyes. “V didn’t sleep in her own bed last night. We think she slept with Brooke.”

“Well, that was obvious enough when they never came to watch the film.”

Scarlet pulled a face, eager not to jump to conclusions. “Maybe they talked everything out? We can’t assume.”

“Scarlet, come on. If there was talking involved, it wasn’t gonna be U rated,” Yvie smiled indulgently at her. Scarlet had to concede.

“You’re Monique’s flatmate, girl, where does she come into all of this?” Plastique asked Monet, bringing her knees up to her chest and balancing her coffee cup on top.

“It’s none of my business,” Monet threw her hands up in the air. Akeria rolled her eyes.

“Come on, bitch, give us a crumb.”

Monet sighed, relenting. “Aight, well. Monique is well aware how much Vanjie still seems into Brooke, because from what she’s said Vanessa has made that perfectly clear to her.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ on a crucifix,” Silky exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

“So Vanjie’s still hung up on Brooke?” Scarlet asked, trying to clarify the situation.

“And Brooke’s still into Vanjie,” Nina said casually, some of Yvie’s coffee splashing onto her pyjamas as she whirled around to face Nina.

“What?!”

“She told me after Scarlet’s birthday. Shit, I wasn’t meant to tell you guys that,” Nina clamped a hand over her mouth involuntarily, worry etched onto her face. “Guys, fuck, you can’t tell her I told you.”

“Nice of her to let me know, Jesus!” Yvie snarled, Scarlet reaching a hand out and stroking her knuckles soothingly.

“I wouldn’t take it personally, babe. You know it’s like trying to get blood from a stone with her and her feelings. I guess it’s good she at least told one of us?” Nina gave a sympathetic shrug, clearly feeling bad.

Plastique tore a hand through her hair. “So wait, Brooke likes Vanjie and Vanjie likes Brooke? Why don’t they just get back together then?”

“Because like fuck is my girl getting hurt again when Brooke changes her mind for a third time,” Akeria scowled up at Plastique. “And anyone who thinks they’re gonna be good together after everything that’s happened is trash, sorry.”

“Kiki, c'mon. That’s harsh,” Nina frowned, disapproving. Akeria shot her a nasty look.

“Nobody wants to see Brooke or Vanjie get hurt. They’re both our friends,” Scarlet cut in, trying to play peacemaker.

“I’m just sayin’, Vanj would do well to just focus on Monique, who from what I’ve heard actually treats her right. She certainly doesn’t use her like a fucking sex doll whenever she wants,” Akeria spat. Scarlet grew tense as she saw Yvie bristling.

“Actually that’s exactly what their entire friendship is built on,” Monet cut in with a laugh, keen to ease the tension.

“Akeria, come on, we both know that’s bullshit. If Brooke and Vanj did sleep with each other last night it was one messy fuck after a bit of drinking, they weren’t thinking straight.”

“Did you see V top up her drink once last night?” Akeria shot back instantly, the lawyer jumping out. “Yeah, exactly. And Brooke had what, three, four beers? I was sinking more than that in parks when I was fifteen, that’s fucking children’s numbers. Weren’t thinking straight my ass. They both knew exactly what they were doing.”

“Brooke doesn’t exactly know that V still likes her back, does she? For all she knows this is just a bit of fun to her. Let’s not be too quick to judge,” Nina soothed. Silky snorted with derision.

“Nina, I love you, but the blind man’s fuckin’ guide dog can see Vanjie’s still got feelings.”

“Ah, but you have to remember Brooke’s got the emotional intelligence of a Build-A-Bear,” Plastique pointed out, Akeria shrugging slowly and nodding.

“I guess.”

“I have a great plan for you all,” Monet said suddenly, frowning ever so slightly. “Why don’t you just let the pair of them make their own fuckin’ decisions and mind your own damn business? This has nothing to do with any of us.”

“Sorry Monet, but if it involves our best friend getting her heart broke again then it damn right does have something to do with me!” Akeria objected, Plastique breaking out into awkward laughter at the tense trajectory of the conversation.

Monet calmed down, taking a deep breath. “Look, Kiki, it’s hard for me too watching one of my best friends sleeping with someone that’s clearly still hung up on someone else. But it’s their lives, not ours. We can’t make them do anything. You just have to be the good friends I know you bitches are and be there for them if it all falls down.”

“When it all falls down.” Yvie raised her eyebrows and took a long sip of her drink.

“Yvie, you’re not helping!” Scarlet hissed.

As Monet’s words sank in, the girls had a small moment of silence to reflect on their conversation. Before Scarlet had time to generate any new thoughts, however, there came a sharp thud of footsteps down the stairs and Vanessa emerged, her hair brushed, her makeup removed, and wearing plain jeans and the orange jumper Scarlet had seen her wear so often. Her face was grave, and she pulled her trainers onto her white socked feet as she spoke.

“Kiki. I’m packed. Ready to leave when you are."

The room was silent as she haphazardly tied her laces, stood up, and left as quickly as she had come in.

The rest of the day was decidedly tense. Vanjie hardly spoke a word to anyone that morning, and when Brooke emerged she was similarly silent. Nobody ripped into them about the obvious- usually they would, but this time was different. Feelings were on the line, and people were getting hurt. Scarlet and Yvie spoke about the situation with Plastique all the way home, and by the time they both got back to the flat Brooke had already barricaded herself in her room. Yvie would usually try to talk to her, but not today. Today, Brooke was best left alone.

It took her three days to say something.

Scarlet was round at the flat and she and Yvie were in the living room with Nina, watching Coronation Street (Yvie’s choice, of course) when Brooke came into the kitchen, walked calmly through to the sofa, threw herself down on it and let out a small sigh.

“Hey, babe! How’re you- oh shit. Oh, girl, what’s wrong?” Nina sighed, seeing two tears fall from Brooke’s face that she quickly hid in the sleeves of her black hoodie.

“I’m a fucking terrible person,” she cried quietly, still burying her face in her hands as Nina launched herself into the armchair Brooke occupied and wrapped her arms around her in a hug.

“No, Brooke, you’re not. You’re not, honey,” Nina sighed, shaking her head and murmuring into Brooke’s hair.

“Everything’s ruined. Vanessa hates me…and you guys probably all do too,” Brooke sniffed. Scarlet sighed.

“Brooke, nobody hates you. Least of all us! You’ll always have us!” she smiled comfortingly. Brooke brought her head up to face her, resentment in her eyes.

“Oh, Scarlet, come on, I know your loyalties lie with Vanessa.”

Scarlet let out a displeased laugh, appealing to Yvie. “Fuck me, right!”

Brooke let out a sob as if she’d immediately regretted snapping. “I’m sorry Scarlet, that was unfair. Shit, fuck, there I go again. All I do is just push people away and bottle up my problems and never tell anybody anything. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Nothing’s wrong with you! And you can always tell us anything. You know that!” Nina shushed her, tucking her hair behind her ears. Brooke smiled gently at her.

Yvie piped up, leaning towards Brooke. “Yeah. And you could start by telling us what went down between you two the other night when we were away, because I don’t understand what’s happened.”

Brooke took a long, deep breath and sighed. “We got carried away…she’d been joking with me all day. Like she was flirting and being touchy…anyway, we were in the hot tub and we were talking about us. Kind of. How long I’d liked her for before we got together, and the fact we’d kissed. And then everything just sort of happened. You know we slept with each other, I know you all know. You’ve all got brains. Things were said…and I don’t think she believes any of it. Even though it was all true. And even if she wanted to speak to me, I wouldn’t even know where to begin…fuck-”

“What did you say to her?” Scarlet asked gently, holding her breath a little.

“That I missed her. That I was sorry. But I feel like she thinks I was saying it because I just wanted her so badly. I mean, I did. I do…fuck,” Brooke sighed, rubbing her face with her hands.

“What happened when you woke up? That morning. You were both obviously…not yourselves,” Nina said, trying to word things tactically. Brooke let out a huge exhale.

“I woke up and she wasn’t even in bed with me. She just pulled on her bikini from the night before, had a face on like she wanted to kill me. I tried to talk things out, but she just told me there was nothing to say. She didn’t want to speak to me…” Brooke hung her head. “And that night, after we’d slept together, we’d just…lain there and held each other. We never said anything, she didn’t leave to go back to her own room. She put her head on my chest and I put my arms around her and just felt her breathing. It was like everything was back to normal, back to how it was. Jesus, I’ve absolutely fucked it.”  

This time it was Yvie that fell forward and hugged her as Brooke sobbed, quiet and resigned. Scarlet felt her heart hurt for her. As much as Brooke had behaved inconsiderately and rashly, she’d clearly recognised the mistake she’d made. Scarlet believed that she did genuinely care about Vanjie, that she wanted to make things right with her. The only issue was how to try and make Vanessa see that.

“Right,” Nina said decisively, slapping her thighs. “I’ve got an idea. Let’s go out. Let’s put all of this out of your mind and just remember what it feels like to have fun being silly and drinking with friends before all this drama happened.”

Brooke, to her credit, let out a genuinely humoured laugh. “Nina, I was silly and drinking with friends three nights ago. That’s exactly what got me into this mess.”  

"No,” Nina said firmly. She was going to make such a good teacher, Scarlet thought, as she watched the girl’s face snap into a frown. “This time you’re not going to think about V. If she turns up, you don’t interact. If Akeria makes a fucking nippy as shit comment, you blank her. This is going to be a fun night, with no drama. I promise.”

Nina was clearly some level of convincing, because Brooke rubbed her eyes and sighed. “I mean…getting drunk and turning our speakers up so loud I can no longer hear my thoughts sounds pretty good.”

The three flatmates shared an indulgent grin with each other. Brooke laughed, letting out a resigned groan.

“Yves, Scar. You down?“

Scarlet smiled at Brooke so hard she felt her face hurt. Reaching out and squeezing Yvie’s hand, she knew what her answer would be. “Always, angel.”

Impromptu nights out were always the best ones, Scarlet thought, and she hoped tonight would be no exception. To be fair to Nina, it seemed as if it had been a good idea. Brooke had smiled and laughed as she helped the other girls decide what to wear, cobbled together pre-drinks from the random assortment of spirits and mixers they had around their flat, ordered Nina to either skip or turn up songs on the playlist. Nina, seemingly the one in charge, had heard about this karaoke bar from Monet which seemed to simply be a karaoke machine in the middle of a quintessential old man’s pub named The Swan, but Monet had posed it to Nina as one of the best nights out she’d ever had so of course her word was gospel. Secretly Scarlet kind of hoped Vanessa wouldn’t turn up, which was harsh but Scarlet was as much Brooke’s friend as she was Vanjie’s and she just wanted Brooke to have a good night after so much upset.

“We don’t have to message the others, you know,” Scarlet shrugged as she emerged from Yvie’s room in a borrowed red cropped jumper and the jeans she’d worn to the flat in the first place. She got the vibe that this night out was not a fancy one.

“Noo, I wanna see Plastique. And Silk’s always fun,” Brooke pouted, apparently a little tipsy already.

“If we have a night out without at least offering it to Antigua Road it’ll only start more drama,” Yvie rolled her eyes. “Besides, they’re still our friends. Also I would live to see Plastique doing karaoke.”

Scarlet laughed, agreeing as she typed out a message to their group.

Yvie’s Bitch: Ladies, we are thinking karaoke tonight??? Anyone down? Xxxxxxxxxx

okay then: omg yesyesyesyesyesyes!!!!

okay then: can Ariel come too???

Scarlet was glad of the prospect of a new addition to their night. Ariel’s presence would hopefully diffuse a bit of the drama, nobody could exactly kick off when someone new was there.

Yvie’s Bitch: Yes absolutely!!!

There was a pause. Scarlet flicked her eyes over to Brooke, who had an insincere smile on her face as Yvie and Nina did every horrific TikTok dance imaginable. Scarlet saw her turning her phone over in her hand, looking at it anxiously. When Scarlet’s phone buzzed, so did Brooke’s, and she watched as the girl practically pounced on the message.

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: KARAOKE BITCH????? OH LAWD WE COMIN

Pres that evening were divided up between the three flats, a mutual and unspoken understanding that it was probably for the best if they met at the bar. Scarlet was glad that Brooke seemed to loosen up as the evening went on, and by the time they were in the taxi she was chatty and giggly, her words spilling out of her like liquid. When they arrived the pub was packed, and they nearly couldn’t see the girls sitting cramped around a small table that was clearly only meant for four people but was also the best they were going to get in the crowds. Scarlet didn’t miss the way Vanjie blanked Brooke as if she wasn’t there, going for a hug with Yvie and then with Nina who were on either side of her. Scarlet vowed to speak to her about things at lectures on Monday. They only had a week of classes until the Easter break began, and then they would all start basically living in the library as dissertation hand-ins and exams would start looming over them like a huge stress boulder. Scarlet tried to focus her energy into chatting politely with Ariel, who was sitting beside an already very drunk Plastique. Scarlet had met her only a few times before when she’d been with Plastique on campus, but she’d never come to any big group nights out with the girls and Scarlet wanted to make her feel welcome. Although that was currently hard with the tension between Vanessa and Brooke, and by proxy Akeria, who had a protective arm slung around Vanjie like a mother lioness. Scarlet was distracted from the scene for a moment by Yvie, who had bought her a gin and lemonade. Scarlet thanked her and squeezed up on the chair she was sitting on to accommodate her girlfriend. She felt herself smile involuntarily as Yvie kissed her cheek. Yvie, the drink in her hand, and somebody new to get to know. Those were the three things Scarlet would focus on.

And that worked out. For a while. But Brooke had wanted to drown her feelings and it looked as if she was giving that a pretty good attempt. She’d returned from a simple drinks round with Jagerbombs for everyone (even Vanessa, although as peace offerings went it was one of the worst Scarlet had ever seen) and had been quite happy to sink the ones that some of the girls had refused. Then she’d dragged Nina up to sing a duet of Beyonce and Shakira’s Beautiful Liar which Brooke was essentially making into soft porn judging by the way she was flipping her hair and grinding on Nina, who was dying of laughter as she tried to get her notes out. Scarlet was nudged by Yvie who nodded to Akeria and Vanjie. The two were frowning at the girls on stage and muttering disapprovingly.

“I’m going to say something. This is a joke, they’re acting like they’re in high school,” Yvie rolled her eyes, as the girls got up from their seats and moved in the direction of the bar where Silky was in the queue for drinks.

“Don’t, Yves. Kiki’s only looking out for V, and she’s still upset. Brooke’s taking it a bit too far, to be fair,” Scarlet winced as Brooke hit a note that definitely wasn’t written anywhere in the song.

“She’s trying to have a fun night, Scarlet. But she can’t, because Judge fuckin’ Judy’s giving her death stares any time she so much as breathes,” Yvie seethed, whipping her head around and trying to find the girls in the crowd. It appeared they weren’t in the queue any more.

“They’ve probably gone to smoke. Yvie, leave it, baby. Brooke is having a good time, look!” Scarlet insisted, as the song came to an end and the girls laughed and hugged each other. Brooke almost took a tumble going down the steps from the podium the stage was on, and flopped back onto her chair.

“I’m the next Beyonce. I’ll take autographs later,” she murmured, Scarlet laughing at her ridiculousness. “I also need to pee. Anyone else?”

Scarlet indulged her and went with her. She didn’t actually need, but she also needed to make sure that Brooke wasn’t about to pass out on a toilet floor, so the two of them crammed into the only cubicle that wasn’t out of order or already in use.

“You’re having a good night, then?” she asked, looking at the grubby floor as Brooke pulled her jeans down.

“I’m actually having…the best time,” Brooke nodded emphatically, carelessly ripping bits of toilet paper out of the dispenser. Scarlet watched it fall like gigantic blossoms as Brooke rambled on. “This was the best idea, Nina is…Nina’s just so good with ideas, she’s going to be a primary teacher…and she’s going to be so good at it…they’ll probably make her a headteacher within the year…”

Brooke finished, stood up, flipped the lid of the toilet seat down unnecessarily loudly, yanked up her jeans, then fell back onto the lid. Scarlet sighed.

“Jesus. This is like babysitting. Come on, zip up your jeans.”

Brooke obeyed, her limbs moving as if she was made of jelly. As she did up her zipper and the button at the top, she kept speaking. “I’m having such a good time, oh my God, Nina just has the best ideas ever…you know this whole thing was her idea? She’s going to make the best teacher ever…I wish I had a teacher like her when I was little…”

Suddenly, Scarlet froze as she heard quiet sobs come from the cubicle next to them, and judging from the way Brooke had stopped talking, she’d heard them too. The two girls were still and silent, and Scarlet could see the same hope dawning on Brooke’s face that she felt in her gut.

Please don’t let this be Vanjie, please let it be some random drunk girl instead…

“Shhh, shhh, babe, c’mon. It’s gonna be alright,” Akeria’s voice was soft, lilting through the wall, and Scarlet felt her heart sink. Fuck. She snuck a quick look at Brooke, whose face was blank and expressionless, just blinking slowly with glazed eyes as she looked in the direction of the voices.

“But it ain’t alright, is it? None of it’s alright,” Vanessa’s voice came, thick with emotion and sadness in a way that made Scarlet’s heart crack.

“Vanjie, the goddess herself Miss Whitney Houston told us that it’s not right, but it’s okay,” Scarlet was unsure who spoke next until she realised that it was Silky, her voice softer and more gentle than she’d ever heard it before. She’d coaxed a blessed laugh out of Vanessa, and Scarlet was glad she was there for her. “You’re here, you’re doing the hard part. It’s gonna get less hard every day.”

Vanessa’s sobs quietened, and a huge sigh came through the wall instead. The next time her voice came it was quiet, nothing more than resigned and sincere. “I miss her…so fucking much, girls.”

“I know you do, angel. I know you do.”

There was a pause, a sniff, and a small stifled sob.

“It just hurts that…I’m still in love with her, and I never got the chance to tell her in the first place.”

Scarlet felt as if she’d just been launched out of a plane on a parachute jump with no goggles, safety gear, or parachute. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. This was bad, this was so bad. She looked frantically to Brooke, who had a single mascara tear rolling quickly down her face, her eyes threatening to overflow.

Akeria’s voice was strict. “Who do you love more, Brooke or yourself?”

There was a pause as Vanessa let out a breath. “Myself.”

“Correct answer. Come on, girl, look at you. This ain’t how you spend a night out.”

Another small laugh from Vanjie, meanwhile Brooke looked more broken than Scarlet had ever seen her. Back in the bar, whoever had been singing had finished, and the host’s voice was now booming over the speakers. The loud noise was muffled as it came through the bathroom wall.

“Alright, up next we have the dreamgirls! Do we have the dreamgirls?”

Silky let out a screech. “BITCH! It’s us!”

A little pause, then Akeria’s voice. “Your call, V. Home or stay, what do you want?”

There was a small sniff, a pause, then a scramble from the cubicle. Silky let out a cheer, and Scarlet heard the bathroom door swing open then shut again. Scarlet and Brooke were silent and frozen. Scarlet didn’t know what to say- didn’t know what she could say, so she simply held out her arms for a hug. Brooke stood up, shuffling forward and wrapping her arms around her, Scarlet trying to convey how sorry she was through squeezing her tight. The ditzy, drunk girl from before had been replaced with this quiet statue, and Scarlet didn’t know if she was imagining it or if it had been the confession they’d both just heard but Brooke seemed to have managed to sober up slightly. There was silence, and then Brooke gave a murmur against her shoulder.

“I’m in love with her too.”

Absolutely nothing about Brooke’s admission came as a shock to Scarlet. She sighed, rubbing the taller girl’s back. “Then tell her.”

She felt Brooke shake her head and let out a breath, her ribcage shrinking in Scarlet’s arms then blowing slowly up like a balloon as she took a shuddery, verge-of-tears intake of breath. “No. It’s…no.”

Scarlet nodded understandingly, then stepped back, tilted Brooke’s face up to look at her and swept two fingers underneath each of her eyes, catching her tears before they fell. “Hey. We’re not gonna let this ruin your night, okay?”

Brooke nodded silently. Scarlet knew the words were bullshit as soon as they’d left her mouth but she had to say something vaguely positive, she had to at least offer a speck of hope. She took Brooke’s hand and squeezed it, forcing a grin. “Besides, Silky singing is going to be a mess that we need to experience.”

Brooke let out a snort, a smile gradually creeping onto her face as Scarlet led her out of the cubicle. They washed their hands rapidly then grabbed fistfuls of scratchy paper towels before re-emerging into the bar and sitting down at their table. Plastique, three sheets to the wind, put her hands on either side of Brooke’s face.

“Where were you, bitch?! The girls are doing a song!”

Almost on cue, the lights began to flash purple and pink and a dance bassline blew out through the speakers. Silky’s voice cut through it loudly, the three girls already assembled on stage and holding microphones.

“Good evening, Swan! We are your Dreamgirls, show us some love!”

Scarlet couldn’t help but laugh as she whooped along with the rest of the bar, Akeria launching into her verse in a moderately tuneful voice.

“So you think that you can play around,

And that she will simply stay around,

Did you think that she’d just wait around for you?

Wait ‘til you get the news, wait ‘til you get the news that she’s,

‘Bout to do the same thing, ‘bout to play the same game!”

Scarlet risked a look at Brooke before the girls launched into the chorus. She was sure the song choice had been a coincidence. Maybe not. Scarlet always tried to be optimistic, but Brooke was smiling tightly as Plastique clung to her arm and screeched with excitement. The three girls hit the chorus, attempting and half-succeeding at a harmony.

“When ya good girl’s gone bad, whatcha gonna do,

When she’s out there doin’ the things that you do?

When ya good girl’s gone bad, whatcha gonna say,

When she’s out there playin’ the games that you play?

Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do when she hurts you,

Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do?”

Scarlet’s attention was pulled from the song as Yvie sat down next to her with two drinks, sliding one across to her. “This is like cats being strangled.”

Scarlet bellowed a laugh. “Aww, come on! They’re not that bad. Plus everyone seems to be loving them.”

She watched Yvie looking around the bar. There were a group of five middle-aged women in front of the stage, dancing around and cheering them on. In the corner, a big stag night group were shouting approvingly during Silky’s current verse, Silky of course winking and waving at them mid-solo. The rest of the bar was either punching the air for the girls or singing along incoherently. Yvie laughed, kissing Scarlet’s temple lovingly. “Babe. Everyone’s pissed.”

Scarlet laughed, shrugging as the three girls launched into the ever-so slightly cutting chorus again. She didn’t look at Brooke, even though she wanted to. Plastique would be looking after her, she hoped anyway. Suddenly Vanessa launched into the breakdown, her voice loud as she sang out into the microphone.

“She’s been watchin’ everything you do,

She’s been learnin’ everything from you,

And it won’t be too long before she shows you just how it feels…”

Silky and Akeria grabbed Vanjie by the waist as they backed her up, making their flatmate laugh as they belted out the last chorus together. Scarlet felt her heart swell up. As much as the whole situation was messy and people were getting hurt, Scarlet supposed it had brought out the love everyone had for their friends. Akeria had said she was done with Vanessa, but she wasn’t, not really. Scarlet could see that as she twerked against her on stage, making Vanessa laugh through her final lines.

“Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do when she hurts you,

Whatcha gonna say to that, whatcha gonna do?”

As the pub roared their approval, Silky yelled into the microphone. “Thank you, Swan! Gentlemen…I will be at the bar.”

Scarlet grabbed Yvie’s arm as they both burst out laughing at Silky’s no-fucks-given approach to finding her men. As Scarlet turned to Brooke in the hope that Silky’s comment would’ve made her laugh, she saw with a small flash of panic that her chair was completely empty- no jacket, no bag, and no Brooke.

“Plastique! Where’s-” Scarlet shouted over to her, then realised that she’d had her back to Brooke’s chair and had been talking to Ariel. As the girl turned to face her, Scarlet shook her head. Casting her eyes to Nina’s chair, she found it equally empty. She knew they’d both gone home, and Nina would make her tea as Brooke got upset over the confession she’d overheard earlier. Casting an eye over her friends that remained in the bar, Scarlet did a small calculation in her head. Just over three months until graduation.

Scarlet hoped to God they would all get their shit together soon.

#rpdr fanfiction #not nineteen forever #n19f #ortega #branjie #scyvie #ninex #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #yvie oddly #scarlet envy #lesbian au #college au #university au #nina west #akeria davenport #silky nutmeg ganache #plastique tiara #monet x change #s11

[inmytaste-blog]

Flawed Connection

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: Heart swelling at first but rivers of tears next

A/N: It has been a while lovelies! Uni has been a pain in the back and I have been flooded with work but I couldn’t keep being inactive so I decided to work on this piece since it was requested. Thank you once again for your love on this account and on my writing and please stay tuned for what is to come! Requests are still open and feedback is very much appreciated! Enjoy!

__________________________________________________________

‘’All I am saying is that you finally need to get out of your comfort zone Y/N. What is the worst thing that could happen?’’

Leyla, your best of friends, asked you and you found your words getting stuck in your throat. Truth was you weren’t really sure how you could answer this question even though someone would argue that it was a simple one. You on the other hand, had a different opinion. You were always the girl who was the happiest when minding her own business or staying in her lane, not really risking or taking initiatives. It was just the way you were.

So, every time the conversation was headed to the relationship domain, you preferred it if you remained distant and not so communicative since this was your least favourite topic to discuss. You weren’t very experienced when it came to guys and this was partly your fault no matter how hard you tried to deny it. You had a hard time voicing your feelings or letting the other people know what your opinion of them was. So this made things ten times harder.

‘’Leyla, we have been over this so many times it is giving me a headache. Just drop it please.’’

‘’No, I won’t and you know it. This guy is almost down on his knees, begging you for a chance and you always raise a wall between you. If you are not ready to commit to someone, okay. I accept this. But let him spend some time with you at least! For God’s sake he doesn’t chop heads off last time that I checked.’’

‘’You know what? I think I am going to head home. I think there is no use talking about it if you aren’t willing to take my thoughts into consideration. See you’’ you snapped back and made your way out of your best friend’s condo.

All the distance from her house to your own was spent with you replaying in your head Leyla’s words. Part of you understood her concerns and worries about your inefficiency of showing your emotions or your intentions right away. Her biggest fear had to do not with your relationships with other boys but your relationships with other people as well. She feared that this behavior of yours would tear you apart from your beloved ones, something that had happened in the past with another friend of yours. You still remembered how devastated you were when the fact that you wouldn’t be hanging out with that person again had sunk in and you had promised to yourself that you wouldn’t allow it to happen again. You had promised to become more communicative about your feelings; you felt like you owed it to people who spent time with you.

But no matter how many times that promised had escaped your lips, things barely changed. You felt like something was blocking your throat and fogging your mind thus making you unable to tell someone that you liked them or that they made you feel happy or different. And that was where the other part of you came and disagreed with your friend’s words. That was the way you were and you expected people to accept you in the same way you accepted them, without demanding they changed. However, this was not the case and you were disappointed that you needed to change in order to be accepted.

You had spent many nights thinking over and over again all the times when you should have said something, anything, to the people who made you feel special but every single time, you chickened out. So you had quit altogether, coming to terms with the fact that you might end up alone in a lonely island. You laughed at the whole situation but Leyla and even your parents were on different grounds. They had even suggested you visit a specialist or a psychiatrist to figure out what possible traumas or past experiences had locked up a more intimate version of you.

You had shrugged off that proposal thinking it was rather ridiculous and childish to believe that this could be solved in such a way. And that was the main reason no change was on its way. There were times you were content with this but there were other times when you feared that you would lose Leyla as well. She was a very special person to you and all her constant nagging may seemed like genuine interest and compassion but you couldn’t rule out the possibility that her patience and tolerance were running thin.

‘’Why can’t I be more open? Why? What are you so afraid of Y/N?’’ you sighed to yourself plopping onto your bed and closing your eyes, consumed by frustration and disappointment. You felt like this ‘problem’ needed to be dealt with and solved. But how could it when you were unwilling to go for a different approach on people? How could it when that guy’s messages were always left ignored and unanswered? The saddest part was that he seemed like a genuinely sweet and polite guy, not like all the other prying boys who the only thing in their minds was how to get in a girl’s pants.

This particular boy, Shawn, was firstly interested in your well-being and your day’s progression. He made sure to ask you about your day or how much your boss had irritated you today and it succeeded in creating a very positive image of him. It was the first time you found yourself enjoying talking with a guy since all your previous, few but still existent, encounters with guys hadn’t really gone as planned. They always ended up asking for nudes or being very raw about their intentions towards you or girls in general.

Things were going smoothly between you and Shawn, growing accustomed to each other’s company when going out with all of your friends, and you didn’t really think much into it. Leyla though, who was the one who introduced you to Shawn one night in your neghbourhood’s diner, saw much different things. He saw the way Shawn was engrossed into whatever story your lips were narrating and she saw the way his eyes would light up every time your name would be mentioned in a conversation. It didn’t take her too long to realize that Shawn was drawn into her best friend and she found that as the perfect opportunity for you to finally open up and create something beautiful with Shawn. The only thing she did was accelerate things a little bit.

‘’Are you sure you guys won’t be able to make it? I mean we can arrange another time, I have no problem’’ Shawn said through the speaker, quite disappointed that he wouldn’t be seeing you that night.

Leyla had called and informed Shawn that all their other friends couldn’t go out and meet up because they had arranged to go to an emergent surprise party which had come up in the last minute. What he didn’t know though was that no surprise party had come up and that it was all a made up story made by Leyla in order to get you to hang out with Shawn all alone. She knew that her plan would raise questions and eyebrows but she decided to help her best friend and that was what she was doing.

‘’Well, we will arrange again all together but if it is okay with you, Y/N is the only one being available since she doesn’t know that friend we are surprising. Would it be too much of a favour if I asked you to go out with her so she doesn’t stay in on a Saturday night?’’ Shawn felt his heart exploding a million times in his chest. Here Leyla was, asking him if it was too much to keep company to the girl he was smitten with when in reality it was a dream coming true to him.

‘’Um of- of course I can do that. Don’t even think about it. I am sure we will have a great time together.’’

Shawn was positive this would turn out good whereas you felt panic creeping up on you when you understood that no one else would be joining you and Shawn that night. While you were sipping your wine with Shawn you couldn’t help but feel thankful for the efforts he was so hard making in order to create small talk or make the whole situation more comfortable. On your part, you tried to loosen up and relax but your nerves were getting the best of you and without having any intention to, you had pretty much ruined that scheduled appointment with Shawn accompanying you to your house much earlier that he preferred.

Two weeks later, and Shawn had tried to contact you by messages and phone calls. He couldn’t shake the ugly feeling of blame that overpowered him. He put the blame on him that he had done or said something that you got wrong or offended by and he kept apologizing, assuring you that he didn’t mean to ruin the night. You felt your fingers getting heavier while they lingered on top of the screen, waiting for a reply to be typed and sent. You decided that it was unfair to him to be tortured with so many unanswered questions and doubts and pushing your own uncertainties aside you typed a much wanted response.

-Please don’t blame yourself. You tried your best and I am thankful. Could I make it up to you over coffee today?

Staring at your phone, you silently cursed at yourself. Rereading your message, you wanted to slap yourself across the face. Not only didn’t you put Shawn’s worries at rest but you even made them more valid. That was why you never tried in the first place to become more intimate with someone. Things always went down the drain and you were the only responsible for that. You shouldn’t drag other people down with you since they didn’t deserve it; not one bit.

-I am so glad you asked. Is 18:00 at Timothy’s convenient for you? Xo

To say Shawn’s response caught you off guard was an understatement. You thought that he would want nothing to do with you for taking so long to return his messages and for offering such a pitiful reply. But life has its own ways of surprising people and it worked perfectly on you too.

-Yes of course.

The hours were passing earlier than usual and you didn’t know whether you felt thankful or anxious. You wouldn’t need more than half an hour to get ready for your appointment with Shawn considering you would meet up for a simple coffee but felt like you needed the in-between hours in order to digest what you had put yourself into and to come to terms with the fact that Shawn was more than pleasant to hang out with you whatsoever. Thanks to Leyla who found the perfect time to call you, this process became easier.

‘’Okay now this is a first! Well done monkey-face. Now, don’t screw this up please. Shawn is very kind and he won’t say anything if you say or do something ‘unjustifiable’ but he will be thinking about it for over ten years.’’ You friend tried to make the atmosphere a bit funnier but this statement made you lose it even more.

‘’Are you saying this to make me feel better? Because if that was your plan, it failed miserably.’’ You felt your palms sweating and your head getting dizzier with every passing second.

‘’Relax and enjoy it. It is a simple coffee. And Shawn has an amazing sense of humour. This doesn’t mean that I won’t hesitate to chop his head off if he takes it too far though!’’

‘’Keep your hands clean rocky. I need to get ready. Talk to you later!’’ you said hanging up and proceeding to go into your bedroom and prepare for your little date with Shawn.

Throughout the night, you found out that Shawn had a terrible sense of humour which made you laugh nonetheless. You also found out that he had a lot of embarrassing childhood stories that would come in handy if he kept on narrating and sharing them with you. You were persuaded it was very good having him near and this close to you, getting your mind off the watch rested on your wrist and making you enjoy every passing minute.

‘’I was afraid you would keep ignoring me for at least one more month. I really thought I messed up or something’’ Shawn said abruptly, coming down from your laughter of his previous stories and directing the conversation to more serious matters.

‘’Well, that was my initial intention but I felt sorry for you’’ you joked and you looked as his orbs grew the size of a plate. You instantly burst into laughter and Shawn followed suit, not paying attention to your previous statement.

‘’Well, that would be very difficult since I am all that cute and shit’’

‘’Don’t be so full of yourself Mendes.’’ You raised your eyebrow and waited for his next response.

‘’Oh but you will realize that I am nothing like that’’ he said smirking, knowing exactly what he was doing in order to get you to like him just as much as he liked you however impossible that was to achieve.

Indeed, just as months were rapidly passing by, you were fully accustomed to Shawn’s presence and it was safe to say that you were both glued to each other’s hips. No one would exaggerate if they said that you needed his help in everything you did and no one would be lying if they claimed that Shawn’s songs were covering something big and important that was happening inside his brain and his heart.

There wasn’t a single day that found you disconnected. If you hadn’t made plans to slouch in either yours or Shawn’s sofa or go out and enjoy the soft breeze of the town while sipping your wines, you would surely exchange texts, phone calls, facetime sessions or just voice mails to let each other know how their day was and what a relief it was to finally being able to clear their minds off of their hectic schedules.

Shawn was visibly on cloud nine, not really caring whether his friends had just invited him to play FIFA or head to their old time classic bar down the road. He only had eyes for his phone screen, waiting for it to light up with your name flustered all over it to let him know that you were free to hang out together. He didn’t really fight the smile that crept up on his face when this exact text message reached his phone and Brian was quick to comment on that, not giving his friend any space to hid his rosy cheeks.

‘’Y/N’s game is a strong one. Are you sure you are qualified enough to make it out alive?’’ Brian joked and Shawn’s face clouded.

‘’I don’t know man. I hope I am because I really like this girl.’’

‘’The real question here is whether she likes you as well. You need to have confirmation when it comes to feelings, not just speculations. Maybe it is time you asked her out dude.’’

‘’What? No, no, no. I fear this will ruin everything we have built so far. I mean, I want to ask her out, fuck, I want to ask her to be my girlfriend already, but I have this little voice inside reminding me that she is not like any other girls. She needs time to feel comfortable enough to open up I guess.’’ Shawn said, not really trusting his own words while his mind was processing them.

‘’Sooooo, you don’t have any clue if she likes you. Not even half a clue. That’s what you’re telling me’’ Brian concluded, and Shawn swore it sounded more awful hearing it from him. He only confessed that he felt lost when it came to your feelings towards him when he was alone in his room thinking about your smile and how it brought salvation to his troubles. Now that he was asked to confess the same thing in front of his friend, he felt… played. You never really made it clear to him whether you liked him in a more serious way and he didn’t want to believe that you didn’t fancy him at all.

‘’Well, actually-‘’

‘’I got it. Shawn mate, have you even considered that maybe, just maybe, she sees you just as her buddy? As her best friend?’’ Brian reasoned and this statement alone hit Shawn like a ton of bricks. He always believed you had a great time together not only because you had chemistry, something clear to everyone around you, but because you both felt something more about one another as well. The thought of you not liking him back made his heart shatter into small little pieces, patiently waiting for your words to put them back together.

‘’I say you talk to her tonight. You got nothing to lose. And it think it is only fair you finally get a glimpse of what is going on in her mind concerning your… status.’’

‘’You know what? You are right. I will talk to her tonight. Thanks Bri.’’

Brian’s words had shaken Shawn up and made him see things a little bit more objectively. He always made sure you were comfortable and fully accustomed around him, that he neglected his own peace of mind and his own needs to be accepted and valued from the one person he needed it the most. He knew he had to take matters into his own hands and make a move for whatever was about to happen between you two. Bearing all this new enlightenment in his mind, he climbed the stairs to your front door, heart on his sleeve and his posture radiating determination and positivity.

‘’Since when do you knock?’’ you greeted him and disappeared in your living room.

‘’Thought a change would be good. What are we watching today?’’ Shawn said, kicking his boots off and making his way to where you were situated on your couch.

‘’Surprise me today’’ you said, not taking your eyes off of your phone and waiting for Shawn’s recommendation to echo through the walls.

‘’Well, you are in for a surprise tonight, that’s for sure. Y/N I need to talk to you about something’’ Shawn said, turning his face to yours adjusting his focus so he only had a view of your all so familiar beauty.

Just when those words left Shawn’s mouth however, you felt your whole body going numb. It was like a premonition for what you tried so hard to avoid all this time; losing him. He had become a part of your everyday life, from exploiting his very soft sofa to dragging him to the grocery store to buy tampons because you needed company. You couldn’t fathom how life would be if he decided to step out of it that easily. One thing you knew for sure; it would be empty and miserable, just like before. And you knew what the reason behind this change of events was; your own syncretism and withholding of feelings. You’d really like it if for once, you would be able to trick your mind into being normal and expressive but you always seemed to have the way to destroy whatever was ready to flourish.

Shawn tried to keep his composure and not let his feelings get the best of him, but he seemed like he was struggling very much to find the appropriate words. This struggle came off to you like disappointment and perhaps hate, that you never really made him feel appreciated. Heck, you even hated yourself for that because you really got to know what a special human Shawn was. All the while you were silently beating yourself up for a potential split up with Shawn, he had just confessed what he meant to all night long, making you freeze in your spot.

‘’E- excuse me?’’

‘’Jesus Y/N, it was hard getting it out of my chest the first time and now you want me to repeat myself?’’ Shawn chuckled but after seeing your bewildered face he came to a stop and just went for it again.

‘’I don’t really know what your opinion on me is, but considering you have put up with me for so long, I reckon it is a respectable one. My opinion on you however is something more than respectable. I cannot function if I don’t bring your sweet smile in front of my eyes or if I don’t spend a good ten minutes admiring your photos that live in my phone. I can’t keep a straight face during our conversations or our chatting and I look forward to going out with you or just spending a minute listening to your voice more than being dragged to play FIFA, and you know how much I love this game. The only thing that keeps me going and motivates me to be a better version of myself is you. What I am trying to say is that I like you Y/N. And very much so’’ Shawn confessed and your eyes were glued into his own ones.

Never in your wildest dreams would you expect for Shawn to fall for someone like you; someone who can’t wrap their heads around their emotions in order to make them known to others as well. That was the main reason why Shawn couldn’t get another reaction out of you apart from looking at him half smiling.

‘’So, what do you say? Could you put up with me as your boyfriend too? You seem pretty good at it so far’’ Shawn attempted to wake you up and it seemed to work since you were nodding your head up and down, still shocked at the revelation that took place a couple of seconds ago. Shawn found it a bit weird that no words came out of your mouth but the only thing that mattered to him was the fact that you were officially together and that everything he wanted was finally fullfilled.

No other words could describe your relationship with Shawn apart from safe, happy and peaceful. The amount of love Shawn was showering you with was unreal but it was enough to fly you up in the clouds. There wasn’t a single thing that he did that couldn’t amaze you. He was so calming and reasonable when it came to you that it turned you into a defenseless mass. He always tried to find solutions to your problems and he did a very good job at it.

There was no one else who would understand and read you like Shawn. It felt like he knew you for years when in reality it was only one. He was very careful when it came to your whole existence but that didn’t mean that he didn’t hesitate to show you off and tell everyone what a wonderful soul you had. Small things like these made your heart swell and your love for Shawn grow bigger with each passing day.

The reason why you were so content with your relationship with Shawn however, was the fact that you were both willing to sit down and solve whatever disagreement or obstacle came in the way instead of holding grudges or just acting ignorant towards one another. In other words, arguments, let alone huge tantrums and fights, were absent from the safe space you had both created for your love to nourish. Nothing could top the feeling of protection and the level of understanding both of you made efforts to show at any given moment.

And with Shawn’s upcoming tour, this level of understanding had to be maximized a little bit more from your own part. Your relationship had occurred when Shawn was having a small break from tour since he had finished the first leg of it but now that the second one was coming up you felt overwhelmed and desperate that the bond you had invested time and love into making would lose its power and its endurance.

‘’You are doing it again baby’’ Shawn brought you out of your trance and your attention was shifted to his warm eyes.

‘’Hm?’’

‘’You are thinking about the tour again. Please stop putting yourself through that. Time will fly by in the blink of your beautiful eye. Besides…’’ Shawn started but trailed off mid-sentence.

‘’Besides?’’ you insisted, stroking softly the soft flesh of his rosy cheek.

‘’Besides, I love you so damn much that nothing can make my love go away’’

Shawn was the first time that he was saying those three words that would make any other human cry out of happiness and adoration for their other half. But you felt like suffocating; like someone had plugged a pump in your lungs and was taking all the oxygen out. You wanted to scream to Shawn that you loved and adored him but instead the only thing that left your lips was a low grumping sound, not being able to express anything else.

Shawn’s arms tightened around your smaller frame but he felt let down that you didn’t say anything of the same value to him. Sometimes, he felt like he was the only one trying in this relationship and he fought really hard to drown those voices down because he knew if he let them wandering, they would inevitably poison your beautiful home. He also knew that keeping everything inside would create a bomb which sooner or later would explode causing much more trouble than both of you could handle. So he figured that having someone to talk to was much needed, especially before leaving you behind in order to complete his tour.

‘’I don’t know Brian. I feel like I am not enough for her. She makes me feel amazing, I will give her that and she is the most kind-hearted person I have come across in my life. But deep down, I feel like she is with me only because she can’t see me breaking or being torn apart if she ends things with me. I mean I have already told her I love her and she didn’t say anything of the sort. I want her to tell me whatever she feels she needs to tell me only when she is ready and she means it but I don’t know what’s taking her so long.’’

Shawn’s frustration was visible in his voice and you knew this was going to happen any time soon. It felt surreal that you had finally found someone who had no problem with your lack of verbal expression of feelings and you were proven correct. It was too good to be true. What pained you most was the fact that he chose to describe his disappointment to Brian over a simple phone call instead of addressing you directly. That was the one thing you always loved about your relationship, the courage to confront anything together. And now that you needed only this, he turned to his friend. You were already feeling bad for eavesdropping on his conversation so you decided to go back to your room. Luck wasn’t on your side though since your foot knocked over the small vase you had next to the staircase, exposing your presence to Shawn who had just hung up the phone.

‘’Y/N are you alright? What are you doing here?’’ Shawn asked, worry lacing his features.

‘’I am okay. I am okay.’’ You weren’t. You wanted Shawn to take you into his arms and tell you that the phone call never happened but it was a prank to get you to talk to him.

‘’How much did you hear?’’

‘’I heard nothing.’’ You coldly answered and Shawn felt his blood boil.

‘’Could you stop running away and acting so cold? I am trying to figure out what I am doing wrong all this time and you aren’t helping. Not one bit!’’ Shawn half- shouted following you in your bedroom, ready to finally hear your part of the story.

‘’What do you want me to say Shawn? You knew what you were signing up for when you asked to be with me. We were pretty close before that so you knew what I am all about!’’ You hated where this was going. This was going to end up in tears or shouting and you distasted it.

‘’So you are putting this one on me too? Cut me some slack Y/N. When you are with someone you have to let them know that they are valued, appreciated, loved as well. I only give and I take bits in return. Is this what this is all about? You feeling powerful and shit? You know the impact you have on me and you use it for your advantage. This is sick. You are sick!’’

Never before had you seen Shawn so distressed and knowing that you had created this sight made it all sadder. You felt like everything was crumbling down and you had no power over putting them together again. In your mind, you felt like you were reliving everything. Leyla’s words, all the previous friendships you had left in the dust were coming crushing on you and your head was ready to explode. Shawn’s words were the cherry on the top. He was the last person you wanted to disappoint and you did just that. Why was it so hard to thank, apologise or generally express your inner world? All these thoughts brought you to your knees and before you knew it you were sobbing. And not alone in your own space but in front of Shawn. In front of another person.

‘’I am s- sorry. So- so sorry’’ your hands flied to your face and it hid inside them.

Shawn would have sworn he heard his heart break in two when he saw you collapsing onto the floor. Your sobs were piercing through his ears and he wanted nothing more than to stop your tears and plant a small smile onto your sweet lips. Rushing to your side, he took you into his embrace trying his best to calm you down.

‘’No, no, no, no, I am sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about baby. I shouldn’t have yelled nor should have I said all those venomous things to you. Please forgive me’’ Shawn pleaded while he rocked you in his strong arms, placing baby kisses on top of your head, trying to steady your breathing.

‘’You know, everyone always told me that this demeanour I have adopted would result in me ending up alone. I always had difficulty in expressing my feelings but I had come to terms with it. I believed that the people who truly knew and loved me would stay by my side no matter how cold I was. But when I met you I knew this would turn out bad if I didn’t try to change. I wanted to change. Because of you. But once again I failed. I don’t deserve any of this. I really don’t.’’

Shawn hated hearing those words being aimed at you from you and he hated himself even more for not resorting to you for all the thoughts and doubts that had started reaching the surface. Getting to hear your story he felt a complete asshole who instead of being next to his girlfriend and offering her all the help she deserved, he stood opposite of her and accused her without knowing.

You were convinced Shawn felt pity for you and nothing else but you were a bit proud for coming clean and finally giving voice to this difficulty of yours. He was the first person who had seen you cry or had heard the situation for that matter so you really hoped something good would come out of it.

‘’Y/N don’t. Don’t go there. You deserve everything in this world and it would be my pleasure to give it to you. But please acknowledge what you just did. You expressed yourself in the best way possible. You cried and you got what you were pushing inside off your chest. This is something major. And it is even major for me because you did it in front of me. You don’t know how special I feel Y/N even though I am a complete jerk for raising my voice. I could take it back in a heartbeat if I could baby believe me.’’

‘’I do. I do believe you. Maybe I needed it myself to come to my senses. Thank you Shawn. For everything you have done for me so far.’’ You finally said and it felt like heaven being able to show to your other half what they really meant to you and how they made you feel every day.

‘’I thank you Y/N. Please don’t ever shut yourself down again. I am here. I can provide one of my ears for you’’ Shawn tried to make you feel lighter and it partly worked.

‘’You’re such a dork, I love you’’ you said, capturing his lips between your own in a haste kiss.

‘’Whoa, did you just-‘’

‘’Yes and I can do it again if you want.’’

‘’Yes please.’’

‘’I love you, I love you, I love you.’’ You said in between kisses and the room filled with Shawn’s beautiful laughter accompanied by your own shy chuckles.

#shawn mendes #shawn #mendes #mendes army #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes x reader #imagines #angst #fluff #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut #smut #writing #shawn mendes au #shawn peter raul #shawn mendes angst imagines #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes writing #sm #shawn mendes dirty imagine #shawn mendes dirty imagines #request #shawn mendes masterlist

[soulsowild]

🔸Hello! 🔸

I am writing this post to introduce myself & what I'm working on so buckle up for some excitement 💃 This is the first time I have ever used Tumblr, so I have literally no idea what the fuck I'm doing, if anyone has any tips for me send them my way!

My name is probably the best place to start (& the most exciting thing about me I reckon). It's Kane - I know what you're thinking - but I am a woman! with a man's name. People often ask me why my parents chose it - it's a very boring answer; they liked it. I believe they secretly thought it would be hilarious to watch me explain my name to everyone I meet & I also believe they were trying to save money because there has never been a pen, magnet, or cup with my name on anywhere. If I ring up about my phone bill they will ask to speak to the account holder - they won't believe I'm Kane. It's all very inconvenient but I genuinely love my name & its meaning. It's of Celtic origin & means 'Warrior'. Moving away from the subject of my name & its many stories, I am also a single mama to a 9-year-old boy/shit bag. He gives me a lot of my strength & is truly my reason for everything! Including the reason why I feel like pulling my hair out, have no money & far too many Fortnite headaches. The reason I'm here writing this... For many years now I have struggled with my mental health. I have depression, anxiety & PTSD. I have seen multiple doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, & tried more medication than I can list. This on top of being a single mum has made my journey hard, but the hardest thing is the loneliness. I just want to make a place where no one has to feel that way! So, I'm putting my journey out there so we can go through it together, to help draw attention to the problems surrounding mental health & also as my form of therapy as I find creativity to be a big help.

Anyway, I'm going to try & figure out how to use Tumblr, take care & remember you're not alone, you are loved & you're fucking awesome!

Kane xo

#single mother #singlemama #mentalhealth #first post

[digitalconvo]

Cognac Market: Notable Development ,Competitive Analysis and Growth Dynamics

Global Cognac Market: Overview

The global cognac market has grown steadily over the years, owing to the enormous demand for alcoholic beverages across the globe. Cognac is one of the types of brandy, which is mainly produced by aging of white wines and also by the double distillation process of wines. The distinct varieties of cognac highly depends on the time taken by the respective brandies for aging. The growth of the global cognac market is majorly fueled by the increasing number of consumers globally, who are actively exploring more luxurious alcoholic beverages. However, cognac offers a wide range of more fruitful flavors as compared to other whiskeys. Such factor is also responsible for driving the global cognac market.

Get Brochure of the Report @ https://www.tmrresearch.com/sample/sample?flag=B&rep_id=5540

In terms of distribution channels, the global cognac market is bifurcated into online retailing and store-based retailing. Among these two, the online retailing segment showcases the highest share in the global cognac market on account of the rapid emergence of the online shopping portals across the globe. The report thoroughly explains the key drivers and recent trends in the global cognac market. Furthermore, it also describes the opportunities and headwinds in the market. Along with several other crucial factors related to the market, the report also provides a broad perspective about the competitive landscape of the market.

Global Cognac Market: Notable Developments

Some of the recent developments help in contouring the shape of the global cognac market in a big way include:

The Cognac Summit, a well-known organization which is formed through the collaboration between international bartenders and Bureau National Inter Professional du Cognac, has successfully contributed to the revival of the global cognac market.

The companies in the global cognac market is experimenting with the different flavors of cognac in order to enhance its sale globally.

Some of the most prominent competitors operating in the competitive landscape of global cognac market include –

Meukow

Pernod Richard

Beam Suntory

Hennessy

Global Cognac Market: Key Growth Drivers

A list of few factors responsible for accelerating the growth of the global cognac market in a broad way include:

Growing Popularity of Cognac as Conventional Cocktail Ingredient Fuels Market’s Growth  

The global cognac market is recently witnessing a revival in the world. The growth of the global cognac market is majorly triggered by the rising popularity of cognac among consumers as a conventional cocktail ingredient. Moreover, unlike several other alcoholic beverages, cognac does not cause a headache. These advantages are also stimulating the growth of the global cognac market. Other microeconomic factors such as rising disposable income of consumers globally and the aspirational mindset, especially of the middle class population are booting the concept of premiumization, which in turn is also propelling expansion in the global cognac market. Besides this, rising knowledge of consumers about the health benefits of cognac and elevating demand for authentic and unique brands of alcoholic beverages are responsible for the staggering growth of the global cognac market.

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Rising Trend of Consuming Cognac with Food and as Cocktail Mix Fillips Market

A recent trend in cognac consumption along with food and as a cocktail mix is gaining traction in the global cognac market. However, rising demand for VS cognac worldwide is also positively influencing the growth of the global cognac market. Enormous consumers’ demand for cognac has successfully outstripped its production capacity in some of the regions, which indicates the rapid growth of the global cognac market.

Global Cognac Market: Regional Outlook

With respect to geography, North America is dominating in the global cognac market as the region has seen rapid growth in the cocktail industry. Along with this, popularity of online distribution channels and rapidly changing consumers’ demographics are also encouraging the growth of the cognac market in this region.

The segmentation of global cognac market is based on:

Products

Very Special (VS)

Very Superior Old Pale (VSOP)

Extra Old (XO)

Get Table of Content of the Report @ https://www.tmrresearch.com/sample/sample?flag=T&rep_id=5540

About TMR Research:

TMR Research is a premier provider of customized market research and consulting services to business entities keen on succeeding in today’s supercharged economic climate. Armed with an experienced, dedicated, and dynamic team of analysts, we are redefining the way our clients’ conduct business by providing them with authoritative and trusted research studies in tune with the latest methodologies and market trends

[immedtech]

Delta's 2020 tech includes 'parallel reality' displays and a binge button

Air travel isn't always a great experience. Delays and other issues can cause extra stress for vacations and work trips. Delta is well aware of this, so it's using some high-tech solutions in an effort to improve the travel experience before you leave the house, inside the terminal and during your flight.

First, the airline is making its Fly Delta app a digital concierge. The idea is that the safe piece of software you use to check-in, pay for bags and access boarding passes will guide you the entire trip -- starting at home. Delta will work closer with Lyft to get you to the airport with ease. This includes linking your SkyMiles and Lyft accounts so that it's easier to earn miles using the transportation service. The two companies are also considering features like estimated arrival times when you tap Lyft to get you to the airport. You may soon be able to pay for rides with SkyMiles, too. Once you're at the airport, Delta plans to add things like alerting you when your seat -- not just your flight -- is boarding. So rather than standing in the mass of humanity, you can relax a few minutes longer.

The most interesting of Delta's new additions is inside the terminal. Starting in mid-2020, the airline will begin using opt-in Parallel Reality displays to show custom messages to multiple travelers simultaneously. Basically, when you're walking through the terminal in a group of people, each of you will see information specific to, and it will be in your preferred language. Those details include directions to your gate or to the nearest Delta Sky Club.

The initial rollout will happen in Detroit. After passing through security, travelers who want to participate can scan their boarding pass and select the language they'd like to use. Displays with multi-view pixels and "proprietary technology" to show the messages to each person. During the initial trial phase, the personalized info includes wayfinding, flight details/updates, boarding time, closest Delta Sky Club and upgrade/standby status. Delta is clear that Parallel Reality will always be opt-in, and that it never shares customer information with this feature.

Once you're on the plane, Delta wants to improve your in-flight entertainment as well. That includes adding a binge button later this year so that you can watch entire seasons of your favorite shows without interruption. The system will also make recommendations based on you've watched before. The airline also plans to test features like "do not disturb" and "wake me for meal service" for travelers on longer flights.

In an effort to reduce inconvenience, Delta is harnessing AI and its own historical data to simulate potential "operating challenges" so that the airline's employees can make proactive decisions before "large-scale disruptions" like severe weather. The system also has a post-mortem component for analysis of how the situation could've been handled better. Delta says it will launch the initial implementation this spring, and says the system will continue to improve over time as more data is collected for its use.

Lastly, Delta is partnering with Sarcos Robotics to equip its frontline employees with the Sarcos Guardian XO exoskeleton. It's easy to see the benefits here. The gear will allow employees, like baggage handlers, to repeatedly lift heavy items with much less strain and fatigue.

At CES, Delta is making it clear that it will use some of the latest technology to improve your entire travel day, reduce headaches and improve life for its own employees. Now we just have to wait until we can reap the benefits for ourselves.

- Repost from: engadget Post

#ITlive #engadget #Delta's 2020 tech includes 'parallel reality' displays and a binge button

[freesuitwhispers]

Global  Glass Packaging  Market - Growth Drivers, Opportunities and Forecast Analysis to 2020

Summary - A new market study, “ Global Glass Packaging  Market - Growth Drivers, Opportunities and Forecast Analysis to 2020 ” has been featured on WiseGuyReports.

Snapshot

The global cognac consumption is estimated to reach 237 million 0.7 liter bottles in 2023, growing at a CAGR of 2.71% for the period spanning from 2019 to 2023. The factors such as rising premiumization trend, use of cognac as cocktail ingredients, demand for authentic and unique alcoholic brands, increasing millennials population and increasing knowledge about health benefits of cognac are expected to drive the market. However, growth of the industry will be challenged by competitive rivalry and restriction on alcohol advertising. A few notable trends include emergence of online distribution platforms, preference of cognac food, increasing demand for VS and personal consumption growth of alcoholic beverages in emerging countries.

 The global cognac market is segmented into Very Special (VS), Very Superior Old Pale (VSOP or Reserve), Napoleon, Extra Old (XO). In the cognac market, VS accounted for the highest share in 2018.

 The fastest growing regional market is Americas due to increasing disposable income and rising demand for luxury and premiumization of alcoholic beverages. The U.S. and China are highly established premium markets that contribute to significant shares in the global market. The increasing demand for cognac as a cocktail ingredient and its feature unlike other alcoholic beverages of not promoting headache stimulated the consumption of cognac. Asia represents one of the largest markets for cognac and is already a well-penetrated market.

 Scope of the report:

 • The report provides a comprehensive analysis of the global cognac market, segmented into Very Special (VS), Very Superior Old Pale (VSOP or Reserve), Napoleon, Extra Old (XO).

• The major regional markets (Americas, Asia, Europe, Africa & Oceania) have been analyzed, along with country coverage of the US and China.

• The market dynamics such as growth drivers, market trends and challenges are analyzed in-depth.

• The competitive landscape of the market, along with the company profiles of leading players (Suntory Holdings Limited, Pernod Ricard, LVMH and Rémy Cointreau ) are also presented in detail.

 Key Target Audience:

 • Cognac Manufacturers

• Raw Material Suppliers

• End Users

• Consulting Firms

• Investment Banks

• Government Bodies & Regulating Authorities

FOR MORE DETAILS: https://www.wiseguyreports.com/reports/5266297-global-cognac-vs-vsop-xo-market-report-insights-trends-forecast-2019-2023

About Us:

Wise Guy Reports is part of the Wise Guy Research Consultants Pvt. Ltd. and offers premium progressive statistical surveying, market research reports, analysis & forecast data for industries and governments around the globe.                

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