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grison-in-space · 1 year

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So I'm not sure if this is one of the dog questions on the list (it's too long for my brain to stick with T_T) but I would like to hear about your first dog that was *yours*. The first one you chose for yourself, rather than just a family dog or a partner's dog or what have you. Rescues you chose to take on/keep count as much as ones you bought!

Oh, that's Tribble, of course. My best girl, who's been with me ten years. My good, good leap of faith. (Questions mentioned from the Dogblr ask meme).

In the spring of 2012, I was finishing my senior year of college, interviewing at graduate school programs and coming to terms with the fact that I would be earning a salary and financially completely independent from my parents for the foreseeable future. I was going to be able to get a dog that I was going to be able to do sports with.

(At the time I was living with my family's dog Oliver, whom I generally described as a Corgi rolled in lint and who had already had one knee replaced. Around that time, he tried to hop up onto a curb and tripped over his own feet and fell on his face. I was not about to subject his knees to high impact exercise.)

I had been yearning to play agility for years and never been able to. I could get whatever dog I wanted, as long as I could find it under 35lbs (the upper weight limit for dogs in most of the apartments I was looking at) and it was within plausible deniability Not A Pit Bull.

I was full of daydreams. I was looking speculatively at Whippets and Manchester Terriers and Rat Terriers and Shelties, but I knew full well that I could identify a pretty good sport prospect from rescue, too... and I was gonna be broke for a While. But I was also keenly aware that I was about to go straight from college to being a first year PhD student halfway across the country, an endeavor of unknowable difficulty and struggle. It was clearly the sort of thing I should ease into slowly. Obviously I shouldn't actually get a new dog until I had moved and been in my program for six months or so.

But I was so, so excited, and dogshopping was a much less intimidating prospect than making decisions about things like what lab I would work in and where in the country I should live. Also I was in the process of shedding most of my local friend group in the wash of dissolving one of those hideously intense weird friendships that are so common for queer college kids, and a big chunk of the rest of my in person social life required facing down what was, in retrospect, a nasty case of PTSD fear response around other openly queer people derived from immersing myself in baaaaaasically all the online asexuality dialogue that existed in 2012.* It's not like I couldn't use the distraction.

So I made myself a bargain. I would make an extremely detailed list of traits I wanted in a dog ranging from the practical (size, height, ability to rent with, trainable, good structure for speed, jumping, and fast turns) to the slightly ridiculous and purely aesthetic (pointy ears; brindle or tri; no curly tails; short hair). I would restrict myself to perusing the website run by volunteers trying to make the local county animal control as low-kill as possible, which was a feat since the county animal control had ten kennels and a guaranteed three-day stray hold, plus a seven-day opening for dogs to get adopted through. I figured that the fast turnover, plus my own innate tendency to dither, would keep me from actually adopting a dog until I was safely installed in my new job and my new life.

This worked very well right up until the Monday of my last finals week, when the shelter website posted a dog named "Pockets" that checked literally all of my boxes, at least from what I could see from a still photo. She was perfect. And she was listed as a cattle dog mix, which was great: I couldn't see any evidence of a drop of cattle dog in that dog, but there was my plausible deniability for landlords. Goddammit. At least, I told myself, someone else would pick her up and everything would be fine; she'd be adopted by someone else and I could tell myself it just wasn't meant to be.

Then on Tuesday the "DANGER: DANGER" alarm went off on her listing. (It later turned out that she'd been brought in after having maybe? unclear? been cornered and perhaps? bitten a child or something? and her rabies hold had eaten all of her grace time.) Fuck. Fuck! It is perhaps worth noting that that shelter's euthanasia date was Wednesday, so if she was out of time, there really wasn't any time to sort things out.

I panicked--this looked like such a great dog--and made the mistake of asking my roommate if she'd mind if we added what was then a third dog to our three-person household for the remainder of the lease. There was a great mad scramble to make sure I could legally take her in and the landlord was okay with it: I decided that even if she wasn't a great fit for me, I could always rehome her myself later. I put in an application in early on Wednesday morning, then showed up first thing on Thursday before my very last final to meet this dog I had theoretically applied to adopt. She was clearly pretty overwhelmed, but her structure was gorgeous, she was friendly and politely interested in the dogs whose kennels we walked by, and she was capable of listening to me and paying attention. So.... fuck it, I thought, and updated my application to confirm the application.

I picked her up from her spay that Saturday--that shelter didn't, at the time, bother to spay or neuter the dogs until it was confirmed someone actually wanted them--and brought her home, where she promptly stretched her legs, looked around, and found herself a quiet place to pee that didn't (to her) seem to be very used. It happened to be where we kept the router, which is how I discovered that she was not house trained. She learned fast, though--that was the last accident I think she ever had that wasn't a matter of illness--and she soaked up all the training I could throw at her with enthusiasm pretty much immediately. You can actually see me posting my excitement with an earlier account when I adopted her.

Fuck, that was a good impulse decision. She's an amazing dog and we've learned so much together. I love her so much.

She's my buddy, and we've been through a lot together. I love her so, so much.

*no one I ever met at my college LGBTQ group was anything less than polite and kind to me, by my standards of the time: I was generally faced with a desire to understand one another well enough to act in solidarity. I'm still very fond of the people I met there and follow the careers of quite a few. But immersing myself into the online reactions took a toll, one that would have me grappling with regular panic attacks for a few years more.

#Tribble #dogblr ask meme

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sshbpodcast · 6 months

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Character Spotlight: Pavel Chekov

By Ames

Ever hear an old Russian folktale called Star Trek: The Original Series? I have it on good authority that it was written by a little old lady in Leningrad. That’s right: we’re shining the spotlight on the Enterprise’s Russian navigator this week on A Star to Steer Her By, so be prepared to hear way too many tall tales from the garden of Eden, located right outside of Moscow.

Somehow it was easier coming up with enough best and worst moments from Pavel Chekov to fill out our list than it was for Sulu and Uhura, and even Scotty for that matter! Maybe it’s that we’ve just loved picking on Walter Koenig over the years, or maybe it’s that it just sounded like so much fun writing comic relief scenes for him. So read on below and listen to our banter on this week’s podcast episode (chat starts at 1:14:49). It’s definitely worth a couple ham sandwiches.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best Moments

The Russian waltz “I, Mudd” turns into one of the silliest sequences from The Original Series by the end as the crew puts on a dumb show to confuse the robots into having mental breakdowns. And this includes some pretty great work from Chekov, waltzing with Uhura and then illogically getting slapped by her, and dancing emphatically when he’s been ordered to be absolutely still. Does not compute!

Scared to death… er, life Despite being a pill throughout most of “The Deadly Years,” Chekov did end up contributing to the antidote for the other crewmembers’ old age problem simply by being a pathetic little coward. Because he was so scared to see Alvin’s dead body, Chekov was immune from the condition due to his increased adrenaline, which Doc deduces. Eek!

She wants to shop, and I thought I would help her In a rather cute moment in “The Trouble with Tribbles,” Chekov agrees to go shopping with Uhura on Space Station K7. It’s just a small little moment of bonding that could have been any of the characters, but it’s just good of Chekov to accompany the lieutenant while on shore leave, and being there when she adopts her pet tribble.

You started it, didn't you? We also have to give Chekov some credit for not snitching on Scott’s initiating the massive brawl all over the bar in “The Trouble with Tribbles.” Chekov was itching for a fight himself, but Scott throws the first punch and then Chekov keeps mum about it while Kirk is questioning all the combatants. How did the fight itself go? Well you’ll see…

Pavel of all trades We see a lot of instances of crewmembers filling in for each other on the ship. Last week, we mentioned how Uhura jumped in to do some rewiring work. And in “The Immunity Syndrome,” we see Chekov manning the science station throughout the episode during moments when Spock is either busy or on a one-way trip into a space amoeba, as one does.

If he shoots at me, I will just step out of the way Despite getting gunned down like a dog by Morgan Earp in “Spectre of the Gun,” Chekov does manage to help the others figure out the puzzle of their OK Corral setting. Billy Claiborne didn’t die in the shootout in real life (he ran away, like we could imagine Chekov doing), so the others realize this scenario doesn’t have to match history. Thanks, Chekov. Sorry about the dying part.

Arm… photon… torpedoes… As usual, we’ve got lots more moments to highlight from the minor bridge characters in the movies compared to the television show, so let’s start off with The Motion Picture. Chekov is mostly around to feed various lines of technobabble and to get his arm zapped by his console, but he also successfully juliennes the space potato in that horribly extended wormhole sequence.

Botany Bay? Oh no! We get a ton of action from Chekov while he’s serving on the Reliant in The Wrath of Khan though! He figures out (too late, mind you) that something is afoot on the Botany Bay when he finds a clue. And even more impressive, he somehow survives having a ceti eel latch around his brain, fighting off Khan’s manipulation that would have coaxed him into killing Kirk!

And Admiral, it is the Enterprise! As usual, The Voyage Home has the most stuff for the lesser main characters to do, which is a treat. And Pavel gets some time to shine when he and Uhura find the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier Enterprise (a great touch!), infiltrate it, and sneak out some of its photons. And like when he escorted her to K7, he’s an entire gentleman and even lets Uhura beam out first!

Winter Storm Walter I just find this delightful. Chekov and Sulu hiking in the woods together and enjoying their little playdate in The Final Frontier is sweet enough on its own, but when Chekov wants to save face and avoid telling Uhura that they got lost before being called back to duty, he fakes a blizzard. And just how badly he impersonates the wind is just part of the charm of this scene!

Warp speed now! Man, we really are seeing The Final Frontier represented a surprising amount in our best moments in this spotlight series! It’s undoubtedly one of Chekov’s best moments, possibly because he has the most to do: tricking Sybok by pretending to be the captain of the Enterprise, going up against a Klingon Bird of Prey, and getting his party back aboard before warping away!

Next time, stick with synthehol Finally, just a small detail that Jake really liked from The Undiscovered Country. While the dinner scene with the Klingons mostly just came across as racist (as Ames noted in our Kirk spotlight), Walter Koenig just had perfect delivery of the line, “Only the size of my head,” jesting about the radiation surge and his hangover from all that Romulan ale.

—

Worst Moments

Hey hey we’re the Monkees Place your votes on which of the early-season-2 wigs was the worst. Watching poor Walter Koenig in these absolutely atrocious Monkees wigs in episodes like “Amok Time” and “Who Mourns for Adonais?” is just painful. They look like really poorly styled women’s bob hairpieces, and I cannot take anyone wearing them seriously.

We all move up in rank It’s funny how little we actually see mirror Chekov in “Mirror, Mirror,” and yet what a great effect he has in establishing the world. He has all of three lines in the whole episode (plus a whole lot of great Koenig screaming), and yet we understand from how he so utterly fails at mutinying that in this world it’s kill or be killed. And Chekov clearly doesn’t have the chops.

Trouble on paradise planet On the other hand, we see entirely too much of Chekov in “The Apple,” and it’s mostly all cringe. Literally moments after watching Hendorff get killed and Yeoman Landon is concerned about their safety, Chekov comes onto her with a “I've been wanting to get you in a place like this for a long time.” The two of them are just horny teenagers all episode long and it’s all really immature.

If I live long enough, I'm going to run out of samples Chekov also comes across as just plain whiny and even more immature in “The Deadly Years” when he’s complaining and complaining about undergoing tests for McCoy to figure out what caused his afore-mentioned immunity. His fellow crewmates and everyone who’d been in that colony are dying / have died of old age, and he’s insensitive enough to complain about a couple samples?

You heard what he called the captain While the brawl in “The Trouble with Tribbles” is indeed a thing of beauty, it does make Chekov come across as both needlessly violent when Scott has to talk him out of attacking Klingons a couple times, and also as woefully incompetent when all his punches have exactly no effect on his assailant. It’s just a little “Chekov is weak” joke that’s kinda dumb when you think about it.

Piotr would be ashamed This one comes with a content warning for attempted rape. Like Kirk in “The Enemy Within,” when Chekov is affected by the Beta XII-A entity which is making everyone angry in “Day of the Dove,” he goes straight to sexually assaulting Kang’s wife Mara, and it’s uncomfortable and immoral and shameful. I will not be hearing excuses, energy being–related or otherwise.

Feeling a little Defiant Hey, another instance of Chekov being influenced by some kind of space craziness, this time by the area of space that also took the Defiant in “The Tholian Web.” Something about this area sends crewmembers into a fury, and Chekov is first on the list to go mindlessly ravenous. I’ve said before that this episode really doesn’t make a ton of sense, and here’s just more evidence.

Be incorrect, occasionally While we felt Spock and Bones were woefully out of character in “The Tholian Web,” Chekov felt miswritten in “The Way to Eden.” He belittles his old girlfriend’s way of life, and she counters that he’s always been so straight-laced and by-the-book. Since when!? Perhaps this was left over from when she was meant to be McCoy’s daughter, because being judgemental does not feel like a Chekov trait.

This is Ceti Alpha V! Yes, Chekov, a planet has to be “completely lifeless” for the Genesis Device to test there. We could understand how tricky it might be to account for a tiny organism or something, but you somehow missed a whole colony of augmented humans in The Wrath of Khan. How can someone miss that? And to not notice which planet you’re even on? What is this, amateur hour?

We are looking for nuclear wessels While I could just give hell to whatever accent Walter Koenig thought he was doing (nuclear wessels, my foot), let’s make this The Voyager Home moment about getting his ass captured by U.S. navy men, absolutely failing to escape and breaking his everything, and needing everyone else to stop what they were doing to get him rescued. And have I mentioned the whole “wessels” thing?

Put Chekov at the kids’ table from now on I give Nichelle Nichols credit for refusing to say “Guess who’s coming to dinner” in The Undiscovered Country because to have a black woman say a line with such racial undercurrents would be a mistake, so Chekov says it instead. You coulda just read the room and cut it entirely, but whatever. Then Chekov makes a fool of himself by speaking of “inalienable human rights” only to be positively schooled by Azetbur, and rightly so.

If shoe fits, wear it We’ve been surprised how many of our best moments have come from The Final Frontier, and on the flip side it’s just as surprising how many of our worst moments have come from The Undiscovered Country. Despite being a genuinely good film, it sometimes screws over its characters, like when Chekov is made a fool yet again by not checking crewman Dax’s feet before accusing him of being the movie’s Cinderella.

— Clearly all this has been a Russian inwention. Stay tuned for one final character spotlight from The Original Series, as we’ve only got Nurse Chapel yet to go. We’re also continuing our trip through Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, you can share Russian tales with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and check to make sure that wig isn’t on backwards.

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jonfucius · 8 months

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Great Star Trek Rewatch - The Original Series S2

Originally posted on Twitter 26 October 2020 - 2 December 2020

Star Trek: The Original Series Season 2 is up next in my Great Star Trek Rewatch. As with ENT, DSC, STX, and TOS Season 1, mini-reviews will document my progress.

Amok Time: After 29 episodes and some contradictory continuity, we finally get the first concrete details on Mr. Spock and the Vulcan species. A classic fight scene rounds out a strong start to Season 2. 8/10

Who Mourns for Adonais?: A decent early Season 2 entry. The giant green space hand is iconic, but the meat of the story rises above. Thanks to this episode, it became tradition that chief engineers on the starships Enterprise can't catch a break in the romance department. 7/10

The Changeling: A dry run of sorts for the superior Star Trek: The Motion Picture. The second time Kirk talks a computer to death, and it's a slow burn to the climax. 6/10

Mirror, Mirror: One of the most enduring concepts across Trek's 50+ year history is the Mirror Universe. This is still one of the best Mirror Universe tales, simply for its originality and focus. 9/10

The Apple: A Prime Directive debate and some red shirt massacres forms the crux of this otherwise forgettable episode. Definitely not one I'd revist on a whim. Not terrible, just mediocre. 5/10

The Doomsday Machine: This one and "Balance of Terror" jockey back and forth for #1 on my list of the best TOS episodes. William Windom's performance is superb, the titular device is scary (I hid behind the sofa when I watched this one as a kid), and the score is iconic. 10/10

Catspaw: Star Trek and Halloween don't go very well together. Even though this has an ostensibly scientific explanation, it still reeks of magic and sorcery. It is goofy, that's why it gets 4/10.

I, Mudd: This one starts slow but turns into a classic comedy by the end. Carmel is back as Mudd, though the portrayal of his wife is problematic at best. 7/10

Metamorphosis: This poignant love story with a solid sci-fi hook just clicks for me. It’s not the best but it just works. 9/10

Journey to Babel: Season 2 is definitely Spock-focused, and those episodes have not disappointed. This is a classic for good reason: action, pathos, humor, world-building. 10/10

Friday’s Child: Tonal problems keep this one from joining the ranks of the true classics. It’s serviceable but dreadfully slow in the middle. The Capellans are a fascinating race, it’s too bad we don’t see them again. 6/10

The Deadly Years: Impressive 60s aging makeup aside, this one doesn’t do much for me. The old age jokes are stereotypes, though the use of elderly actors in the first act is ingenious. And a rare bit of serialization with a callback to “The Corbomjte Maneuver” is welcome. 6/10

Obsession: Kirk gets some backstory and dimension in a tight, tense script. This is a well-paced acting showcase for Shatner. 9/10

Wolf in the Fold: This would have made for an excellent Halloween episode. A gaseous/energy being is easier to believe than the “Catspaw” transmuter, oddly enough. The line about women being easier to scare, and the Kara dance, are typical ugly 60s sexism, unfortunately. 7/10

The Trouble with Tribbles: A fuzzy thing happens on the way to Sherman’s Planet. A classic that thoroughly earns the title, it’s endlessly rewatchable and filled to the brim with classic gags, one-liners, and scenes for the entire cast. 10/10

The Gamesters of Triskelion: Angelique Pettyjohn’s look is iconic, but not much else about this episode is. A huge letdown after the preceding episode. 5/10

A Piece of the Action: An excellent palate cleanser after the preceding dud. Really wish we could follow up on the Iotians some day. I forgot how funny this episode is. 9/10

The Immunity Syndrome: Season 2 giveth, and Season 2 taketh away. The concept of a spaceborne lifeform is compelling, but this is otherwise a dog of a show. 4/10

A Private Little War: when the show tackles the Vietnam allegory, it sings. When it focuses on Nona, it falters under the weight of 60s’ sexism and bigotry. 7/10

Return to Tomorrow: A different take on the non-corporeal beings trope that hangs around TOS like an albatross, this one is more nuanced and subtle than most. Come for Nimoy’s delightful villain performance, stay for the poignant denouement. 8/10

Patterns of Force: An examination of how easy it is for a society to fall in love with fascism misses the mark by claiming power and not racism was the animus of Nazism, much like Confederate apologists claim the Civil War was about rights and not slavery. 0/10

By Any Other Name: The Kelvans’ powers are frightening, but it’s an episode I just can’t get excited about, except for Scotty drinking one under the table. 6/10

The Omega Glory: Gene, your über-patriotism is showing. Another late Season 2 letdown. 3/10

The Ultimate Computer: TOS has a serious distrust of powerful computers/AI that fades somewhat in the later series. Daystrom is a tragic figure, and the horror of the murder of the Excalibur’s crew is effectively conveyed. 8/10

Bread and Circuses: The social commentary is on point, but two parallel Earth stories in three weeks is somewhat tiresome. Still, an entertaining yarn. 7/10

Assignment: Earth: I’m ambivalent on this back door pilot. I like the Gary Seven character, and I normally enjoy time travel stories, but it just doesn’t do a whole lot for me. It’s not excellent, it’s not bad, it just is. 6/10

And with that, Season 2 of TOS comes to an end in my Great Star Trek Rewatch. Final score: 6.77/10. Highest score(s): "The Doomsday Machine," "Journey to Babel," "The Trouble with Tribbles." Lowest score(s): "Patterns of Force"

#star trek #star trek tos #great star trek rewatch

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energon-with-a-curly-straw · 3 years

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Energon’s Watchlist: Spiritual Spectaculars (Humans and the Yokai that Live Alongside Them)

These series are not based around romance, are not harem, and are not heterosexual (to my knowledge). These are series I have personally watched and enjoyed.

The Morose Mononokean (Fukigen na Mononokean, 26 ep)

Hanae Ashiya is excited to start high school, until he gets possessed by a yokai. Desperate and with declining health, he calls the number for an exorcist. But through this encounter Ashiya begins to understand the yokai possessing him. Which is convenient, as he’s now forced to work with the exorcist to pay off his debt, helping to ‘exorcise’ yokai by sending their clients back to the Underworld. Also, it turns out his new boss, Haruitsuki Abeno, is actually one of his new classmates.

A light and humorous series. The yokai possessing him is like a cross between a dog and a tribble named Fuzzy, who becomes part of the main cast. Ashiya shows his emotions freely; he’s terrified but determined, a contrast to the grumpy and sullen Abeno, who’s only doing this for the yokai. Abeno has an indifference, bordering on active dislike, towards humans (despite being one himself). The two often bicker and have different viewpoints (Abeno pretty much regrets hiring him immediately), but they’re a good influence on each other and do end up caring for one another. This might be bl but if so it’s the slowest burn ever.

Midnight Occult Civil Servants (Mayonaka no Occult Koumuin, 15 ep)

Arata Miyako gets a job as a civil servant in the Nocturne Community Relations Division. Except his job is actually dealing with the occult beings in the city, referred to as anothers, unseen by humans. Tengu, angels, fairies, and deities— Arata is apparently the only human able to understand them. Turns out everyone working there was basically treating anothers like the feral cat population. Arata is frequently mistaken by the anothers as Abe no Seimei— his ancestor who had the same ability.

This series is a bit darker and more serious, occasionally a tad gruesome. It treads the line of ‘anothers are people too’ and ‘anothers are dangerous and cannot be understood by humans’. Arata’s worldview is changing, but so is his coworkers’ and everyone else in the field. Also I like that Theo (his coworker) makes a lot of platonic physical contact so if you’re also touch-starved that’s a nice little detail.

Natsume Yujin-cho (Natsume Yuujinchou/Natsume's Book of Friends, 39 ep + seasons 2-6)

Fifteen year old Takashi Natsume has had the ability to see yokai since he was little. Parentless and bounced around from relative to relative, he lives in fear of the yokai around him while being ostracized for being ‘creepy’ and ‘a liar’. Until one day he accidentally releases a spirit trapped in a lucky cat statue and discovers his long deceased grandmother had fought and collected the names of yokai in a book, putting them under the owners control. While constantly being pestered and attacked for the book, Natsume— along with his spirit bodyguard who’s been stuck as a cat for far too long— is doing his best to release all the names to their owners, learning more about yokai and his grandmother in the process.

This is the chicken soup of series. It doesn’t follow some big plot line beyond the premise— every story can be summed up in an episode or two. Everything about this series is gentle. Gentle pace, gentle demeanour overall without being boring. Sometimes men have to hold each other while they cry— not as an act of romance, but as one person caring for another. This series is like a platonic husband that could support me through the years.

#Energon’s Watchlist #watchlist #what to watch #Anime for Aromanics #the morose mononokean #midnight occult civil servants #natsume yūjin chō #crunchyroll #I tried to be frank but also tell what the show is about #energons watchlist

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justanalto · 3 years

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Maybe if I ask for Jola the wheel will give me boots—

*moment of realization*

no unfortunately it did not give you boots, it gave you jola and m watching the tribble ep of tos

<eats shit>: hey jo

<eats shit>: how can you tell if a jar of yogurt's expired

<the shit>: of...of yogurt?

<eats shit>: yeah

<the shit>: and you're asking me this from our kitchen

<the shit>: while you banished me to the living room

<the shit>: when i literally could just walk in and tell you if the yogurt's expired

<eats shit>: i'm baking for you!

<eats shit>: can you just tell me how i can tell

<the shit>: if it poofs on the top it's gone bad

<the shit>: and if it tingles your tongue it's definitely bad

<the shit>: ...keyla?

"Jo?"

Joann sighs fondly. This can't be good. "Yeah, Key?" she calls, getting to her feet and cautiously making her way to the kitchen. "Keyla, everything okay?"

She's greeted in the kitchen by a spectacularly horrified Keyla, a jar of yogurt in her hands and a tongue smeared with white. "Ah ha' ha' ho'hut," Keyla almost whines, eyes awash with betrayal. "If' 'ingy."

"Oh, you poor thing," Joann chuckles, and takes the jar of yogurt from Keyla's hands. Keyla is still stock-still in the middle of the room, looking for all the world like a disappointed puppy dog. "You didn't read my text, did you?"

Keyla shakes her head.

Joann hands her a napkin, and automatically, Keyla is scrabbling at her tongue, the mild sounds of disgust turning into full-throated ones. "God, that was gross," she mutters, chucking the napkin into the trashcan with as much fervor as possible. "Next time, I'm checking the yogurt before I start baking."

"Or..." Keyla turns right into Joann's path, the dark-haired woman catching her girlfriend's hand in hers before leaning up into a kiss. It tingles a little when Joann pulls away, but given that Keyla's just consumed a spoonful of expired yogurt, that's really to be expected. "You could just let me bake next time."

"Yeah." Keyla nods, dazed. "That sounds good, too."

#ask things #aleksandrachaev #re clears out her inbox #kat's quest for boots #jola #joann owosekun #keyla detmer #star trek: discovery #sometimes. i like putting them into present day aus

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Star Trek Doctors, Ranked By Crankiness

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This Star Trek: Lower Decks article contains spoilers for Season 2, Episode 3.

In the very first filmed episode of Star Trek: The Original Series — “The Cage” — Captain Pike drinks itty-bitty martinis with the Enterprise’s chief physician, Dr. Boyce (John Hoyt.) And although it remains to be seen if we’ll be seeing Boyce in Stranger New Worlds, the tradition of the cranky — but wise — Starfleet doctor was started right there. After Boyce and Piper, Star Trek set the standard for cranky, wise-cracking doctors in space with the introduction of Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy; as played by the wonderful DeForest Kelley.

While Kelley passed away in 1999, the spirit of Bones lives on. Not just in the Karl Urban version of Bones in the reboot films, but also in the foul-mouthed, utterly hilarious Catian medical officer, Dr. T’ana (Gillian Vigman) on Star Trek: Lower Decks. In the most recent episode of Lower Decks, “Mugato, Gumato,” T’ana demonstrated some next-level crankiness, as she avoided her own physical examination, something Bones had to prod Kirk to do all the time, including his first-ever filmed episode, “The Corbomite Maneuver.” But is Bones actually still the crankiest Star Trek doctor? Has T’ana dethroned him?

The only way to find out is to rank all the Trek doctors from least cranky to most cranky, and find out who is the hardest to please, and as a result, possibly the doctor we paradoxically love the most.

(Note: With some exceptions, we’ve excluded characters who were Starfleet doctors who weren’t regular recurring characters. This is why Dr. Selar from TNG isn’t on this list, even though as a Vulcan, she’s inherently cranky.)

10. Dr. Tracy Pollard (Discovery)

The least cranky doctor on this list is easily Dr. Pollard on Star Trek: Discovery. This woman even puts up with Georgiou, a dictator from an alternate universe who wants to die. As played by the fantastic Raven Daudu, it’s very possible Dr. Pollard is the best doctor on this list. She also may never be recognized as such, because she’s really even-tempered, kind and way too busy saving people’s lives to complain.

9. Dr. Phlox (Enterprise)

Phlox isn’t just one of the nicest Star Trek doctors ever, he’s actively one of the most likable characters in the entire franchise. Played charmingly by John Billingsley in all four seasons of Enterprise, Phlox projected a childlike curiosity of the universe combined with a ton of knowledge and wisdom of having seen more of the quadrant than most of the other characters. Phlox is also, perhaps, the most tolerant Star Trek doctor, insofar as he never pushes his cultural views onto others, even though, in some episodes, like “Dear, Doctor,” he’s torn apart by his own set of ethics. Oh, and he saved the life of Porthos, Captain Archer’s dog in “A Night in Skybay,” AND while doing so, managed to make a joke that Porthos would develop lizard-chameleon powers in the process. That’s bedside manner!

8. Dr. Hugh Culber (Discovery)

Who doesn’t love this guy? Since Season 1 of Discovery, Culber has put up with shit from everyone, and very rarely has he snapped. Yes, in Season 2, after coming back from the dead, he was pretty pissed off at everyone. But, as he said in Season 3, “My murderer and I are good now!” In episodes like “Su’kal” and “Die Trying,” Culber is one of the kindest and simultaneously most practical Star Trek doctors of all time. He doesn’t lie to anyone, but he does know how to make you feel better. Out of all the Discovery regulars, Culber feels cut from the same cloth as someone like Deanna Troi or Guinan. He’s smart, insightful and empathic.

7. Dr. Beverly Crusher (The Next Generation)

Crusher certainly has the ability to sass her patients, but she’s basically a nice person. Whenever Crusher freaks out on anyone it’s always because she’s either in love with a ghost that lives in a candle (“Sub Rosa”), her feelings are being manipulated by a nearby Vulcan (“Sarek”) or Jean-Luc is messing around with her emotions. (All of The Next Generation.) Crusher suffers the fools she works with, but she does it with grace and dignity. That said, you kind of know she hates certain people in certain moments, which can probably just be attributed to Gates McFadden’s flawless talent.

6. Emil, Rios’ EMH (Star Trek: Picard)

Rios has a lot of cranky holograms in Season 1 of Picard, but his medical hologram is not even close to being the most difficult of all of them. In fact, he’s pretty cordigal, and reasonable, which is odd considering the situation he’s in. Clearly, among the holograms on the La Sirena, Emil is one of the most well-adjusted. You wouldn’t want him as your primary physician in real life, and because he’s basically connected to the personality of Rios the possibility that he might become super cranky is certainly there. But, so far, he’s right on the line.

5. Dr. Julian Bashir (Deep Space Nine)

Okay, we’re crossing over into slightly cranky territory here. Bashir began his journey on DS9 as a cocky jerk, which isn’t the same as the kind of crankiness we’re talking about here. The Bones-style of crankiness is the kind of crank we can get down with. Bashir’s off-putting personality was — at first — not something anyone admired or liked. That said, as Alexander Siddig evolved the character, Bashir didn’t become more cranky, but he did develop righteous indignation. When Bashir got his indignant buzz on in episodes like “Past Tense,” or “Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges,” he was really at his best. To be clear, Bashir isn’t a nice doctor, and this is where we cross the threshold.

4. Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy (Star Trek: The Original Series)

Although he set the standard for crankiness, in the entire canon of Trek, Bones is somehow not the most cranky Star Trek doctor. The reasons for this are threefold: First, there are three characters on this list who are much crankiner than him. Second, Bones is actually a sweetheart deep down, and demonstrates his love for Spock over and over again, despite his terrible, terrible comments. Finally, Bones can’t be the crankiest doctor on this list because Dax heavily implied in “Trials and Tribble-ations,” that one of her previous hosts — Emony Dax — totally hooked-up with him. For some reason, this detail makes it seem like he’s a lot nicer than he comes across. And again, The Search for Spock exists.

3. Dr. Katherine Pulaski (The Next Generation)

In 1988, Pulaski would have easily been number one on this list. She mispronounces Data’s name, doesn’t feel bad about it, and proceeds to kind of make everyone else on the ship feel awful. Pulaski is a pretty good doctor, and not remotely a bad person, but she’s pretty damn cranky. The brilliant Diane Muldar plays Pulaski like someone who has been transferred to a job she doesn’t really want, which is sort of amazing considering at this point, Roddenberry didn’t want Starfleet characters to have interpersonal conflict.

In “The Icarus Factor ” (which the latest Lower Decks also referenced) Pulaski also thinks Riker’s deadbeat dad is hot and tells Riker this point blank when he’s reminding her that his dad is the worst. This alone gives her deeply strange tastes, and makes her super cranky and weird AF. Don’t mess with Pulaksi! If you talk about how your friend is mean, she might throw it in your face and say she likes them better than you anyway!

2. Dr. T’ana (Lower Decks)

Okay. So Dr. T’ana is almost the most cranky Star Trek doctor ever. Combining the best qualities of Bones, with that weird go-shove-it-vibe from Pulaksi, Gillian Vigman turns it all up to 11. It helps that T’ana is a cat-person (I.E. the Catian species) but her crankiness is more than that. She’s kind of sadistic, and isn’t afraid to use boulders to knock “strange energies” out of people when the time comes. T’ana is sort of burnt-out, but also, is kind of unflappable too. Like, you get the sense that she’s sick of all this space sickness stuff, but she’s got too much proffensionality to say she can’t do something. The secret crankiness of Dr. T’ana is that seemingly she can fix anything that is wrong with anyone. But, she’s going to make fun of them for it, and get pissed off if you look at her the wrong way.

That said, like Bones, you get the sense that none of it is personal. Which is what makes her Starfleet all the way.

1. The EMH (Voyager)

Robert Picardo’s Emergency Medical Hologram is the best cranky Star Trek doctor. There are many reasons for this. His arrogance. His constant complaining. The fact that he has good reason to complain, considering he’s a hologram that has to do other people’s bidding. But the reason that tops all other reasons is the way that Picardo can make his crankiness clear with the simple inflection of his voice. It’s not what he says. It’s how he says it. And if you need proof, all you have to do is go back to the very first Voyager episode ever, “Caretaker.” When the Doctor has to start triage on the wounded crew, he asks somebody to hand him a tricorder. He looks at it, and realizes it’s not the right kind of tricorder, and hands it back and says “medical tricorder.” The amount of venom in this comment cannot be communicated in print. The way Picardo says medical tricorder is so dismissive and frustrated, that he basically created a new level of crankiness with one single utterance.

T’ana may be creeping up the EMH from behind, but this cranky crown will be hard to swipe. Especially from a hologram.

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 3 years

Note

"Are they weak enough to kill, or is there a more effective way of getting rid of them for good?"

Pyro looked down at the mass of furry, squeaking spheres that had filled the ship’s hold. And their cabins. And Claudine’s lab, and the galley, and even the small infirmary. It wasn’t quite like a cat or dog. Pyro could appreciate a cat or dog, but these things were sorely lacking in big expressive eyes or adorable little paws. They were just balls of fur, and they did nothing but eat and pop out more of themselves. Claudine had dissected one (she insisted to Haven that it had died of “natural causes,” but Pyro had his doubts), and announced that they were literally born pregnant.

Shinobi had brought one back from some market in Otherworld, and it had seemed like a cute novelty until the next day, when Shinobi found that one had turned into fifty. They were rapidly devouring the ship’s store of food, and within a few days could add enough mass to actually sink them.

Also, given how badly his eyes had been itching all day, Pyro was starting to suspect that he might be allergic to them, which was absolutely ridiculous and unfair, because he had never been allergic to anything in all his damn life.

He sneezed suddenly into the crook of his elbow, and rubbed his eyes, muttering curses. Honestly, fuck this nonsense. It was very, very tempting to take care of them with a little cleansing fire, or just pitch the whole lot overboard (which would require a lot of shoveling, at this point). But Haven would never let them hear the end of it. She was sitting on deck, buried in the little things like a queen with a living mantle.

“Let’s just offload them all at the nearest port, eh? Sell ‘em as pets or meat, but maybe don’t tell Haven about the meat part. Then they’ll stop being our problem.”

(OOC: They are Tribbles, if it’s not obvious. Also, Pyro’s solution is incredibly irresponsible, and but he doesn’t give a damn at the moment.)

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ellie-e-marcovitz · 4 years

Text

HPHM Profile

As of latest chapter

Profile compiled of old and new one @cursebreaker-lilith . Strengths, weaknesses, and Skills & Hobbies borrowed from @niffler-imagines.

Buckle up, this turned lengthy....

[Brackets] mean post-Hogwarts/now.

IDENTITY

Full Name: Eleanor “Ellie” E Marcovitz

nickname: Ellie - used the most; Opaleye (Charlie, and Charlie only)

Gender: Female (She/Her/They)

Age: 18/19 [now: 50]

Birth Date: 14 March 1973

Zodiac: Pisces ♓

Species: Human

Blood Status: Pureblood/Half-Blood (Depends on who asks)

“They’re a witch and wizard, if that’s what you mean.”

Sexuality: Straight, demiromantic

Alignment: Neutral good, with some variation

Ethnicity: American - European mutt (it’s complicated)

Nationality: Anglo-American

Residence: Aldershot, Hampshire, UK [now: a corner of Romania]

Myer Briggs Personality Type (MBTI): I - something; most INFJ on own

THE MAGE

1st Wand: Acacia, 12″ with unicorn hair - She adored this wand, but didn’t dote on it as much as other people. Gave it a good polish every so often, but wasn’t obsessive over it. When it was broken by Mdm Rakepick, her and Ollivander were able to salvage the unicorn core, and place it under stasis charms. [It was eventually turned into Ron Weasley’s 2nd wand.]

2nd Wand: Redwood, 11″ with unicorn hair - Not exactly her favourite wand. It works well enough, but isn’t 100% sure that it completely works for her. She suspects a jinx other than The Trace to be on it as well. [After Rakepick is kept from the last vault, she gives it to a cousin while in California.]

[3rd Wand: Sycamore, 12.5″ with dragon heartstring - most recent wand. Found the piece of sycamore while in California, and brought it with her as she travelled around the world. Romania was where she found the dragon heartstring used.]

Animagus: Beagle/Dachshund dog

Misc Magical Abilities: Legilimens, almost wandlessly/wordlessly; Seer, empath; minor electromanipulation.

Boggart Form: manifests as Snape, reeling off failings while at Hogwarts/University in his snide tone, arms crossed and glowering.

Riddikulus Form: said Snape figure with mouth duct-taped, hair washed and dyed some ridiculous colour, and black robes paint balled in equally outrageous colours(possibly red and gold), à la PoA.(Thinks You-Know-Who boggart was possibly Bill’s, not that it wasn’t terrifying)

Amortentia:

What do they smell like?: books/parchment, pen ink, earthy with a hint of stardust, almonds and raspberries

What do they smell?: Honeysuckle, grass, along with something along the lines of rain (first rain on warm earth)

Patronus: a horde of Tribbles (screaming at dementors, coos with family and friends)

Patronus Memory: Troubles with Tribbles episode, childhood memories, good times with friends (HoM antics with Tonks and Tulip, the train station with Rowan, etc.), antics of ghostly tribbles...

Mirror of Erised: Family all back together, along with Charlie, and possibly a small ruby haired child [Now: clutching an article with a discovery to her name.]

Specialised/Favourite Spells:

Lumos/Nox - learned before Hogwarts

Ferula - very handy

heating charm - very useful with cups of tea in cold observatories

Alohomora - very close to being wandless

Reparo - ‘’, comes in handy during labs

Wingardium Leviosa - so much practice w/poor Gryffindor kid

Blackboard charm - particularly useful at Uni once she becomes a TA

Languages spoken: English, some French

APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Adelaide Kane

Voiceclaim: unknown

Game Appearance: fifth year

Height: 5′6″

Weight: underweight

Physique: lanky, skinny

Eye Colour: dark brown

Hair Colour: dark brown

Skin Tone: light olive with some freckles

Body Modifications: ears pierced, later a couple tattoos over some scars

Scarring: small duelling scars, possible ones from adventures, a couple instances falling down unexpectedly

Inventory: (what do they carry on them?)

School bag:

notebooks, parchment

pens, quills, ink, pencils

novels

geeky pins (on bag)

Astronomy book

letters, notes

Walkman (w/headphones)

plush tribbles

photos

a particular invisibility cloak (especially after y6xc18)

school tie (some days)

[Pockets/on her:

odd scraps

candy wrapper

pieces of parchment

music player/phone

wand in holster

watch

tracker

hair ties]

Fashion: Comfortable and practical, especially considering later injuries. Does occasionally dress up, but rare, which makes each time a statement. Winter tends toward cargo pants, boots and a heavy coat and several sweaters, especially since living on a dragon reservation in Romania.

ALLEGIANCES

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor 🦁

Ilvermorny House: been told either Horned Serpent or Thunderbird

Affiliations/Organizations:

Weasley family

the Order of the Phoenix/Phoenix Resistance

[University in Romania]

[University of Leicester, post - Hogwarts]

Professions: Astronomer/Astrophysicist, part time dragon carer. Part time Three Broomsticks waitress when in Hogsmeade, occasional assistant to Madam Villanelle at F&B, alongside her mum.

HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Class Proficiencies:

(★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ and OWL Grade)

Core classes:

Astronomy: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ (O+)

Charms: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆ (E/O)

DADA: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆☆☆ (on average, E OWL)

Flying: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆☆ (pass)

Herbology: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆ (eked O)

History of Magic: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆ (easy E)

Potions: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆☆ (eked O)

Transfiguration: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆☆ (E/O)

Electives:

Arithmancy ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆ (O)

CoMC ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ (E/O)

Divination ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆☆☆☆☆ (somehow A OWL)

Quidditch: Chaser, 2 years

Extra Curricular: Dueling club, Quidditch(^), Astronomy club, CoK, impromptu Gryffindor book club, informal fiction writing circle

Favourite Professors:

Professor McGonagall - Strict, but fair. Knows what she’s talking about in Transfiguration. Adores her house, even if she doesn’t necessarily shows it quite like the others (*cough* Snape *cough*). Prefers winning at quidditch, and always seems to know when a player will do well on the team.

Professor Flitwick - Does a nice job at presenting the charms without being snobbish and keeps the classes interesting, and doesn’t seem to mind the chatter during practicing, so long as it doesn’t get too loud or happen during the time he’s teaching. Which is more than reasonable. Is also one of the easier teachers to approach if there’s a problem.

Professor Sinistra - Astronomy professor, and willing to listen to Ellie or Ben chatter about space, especially during the first few years at Hogwarts. Much like McGonagall, without the quidditch.

Least Favourite Professors:

Professor Snape - for obvious reasons. Needs to grow tf up. Yes, it’s been a few years, but he really needs to take his biases and shove ‘em. Really good with potions, does not know how to lose his damn grudges. Would really hate to be in one of his classes with red hair.

Professor Rakepick - didn’t fully trust her from the beginning. There was something off about her that set off an internal spidey sense as soon as she talked. Will grudgingly give points for being the 2nd best DADA teacher (and best official one, behind Bill’s unofficial teaching) that they had. And her setting Snape’s robes on fire that one time during fifth year.

RELATIONSHIPS

Brother: Jacob Gareth Marcovitz

House: Ravenclaw

Birthday: 4 May 1967

1st Wand: Maple, 10″ with dragon heartstring

2nd Wand: unknown

It’s... complicated. There’s a large enough age gap that he was away at Hogwarts during the time she could really clearly remember him. Hence the nickname ‘Pip’. Sure there’s the memory of the first time to Platform 9 3/4, and how quiet the house seemed without him, but other than a slight increase in attention (good and bad), there wasn’t a whole lot of concern.

There were letters for her, as well as their parents, but they tapered off around Halloween; possibly as he was starting to look into the secrets of the cursed vaults. They came sporadically after that. She even kept them in a box under her bed that she eventually brought with her to Hogwarts.

But he became so deeply obsessed with the cursed vaults that they barely saw him over the summers as well, especially as he got older and more fiercely independent, which led to loud rows over grades and other responsibilities leading up the summer before his 6th year.

Younger Siblings: the twins, Elliott James and Eileen Bridget. Four years younger than Ellie, they were placed in Hufflepuff the same year as Beatrice Haywood. They were concerned with the portrait curse, but managed to keep their heads down for most of the trouble Ellie has gone through.

Born 16/17 April 1977 (dates get a little fuzzy after 23.30 at a hospital)

They are there for Harry’s adventures through GoF.

Father: James Marcovitz - former Gryffindor, who works in the Magical Maintenance Department branch at St. Mungo’s Hospital. He worked briefly at the Ministry itself (and, supposedly, never ran into a particular woman in pink), before going over to St. Mungo’s. He managed to work his way up to being a Senior Supervisor, and is considered one of the most hands on.

He also had a brief stint in the muggle military in the late sixties, adding to the age gap between Jacob and Ellie, and also why they live in Aldershot. Her father’s basically a muggleborn, raised predominantly in the non-magical world. There are other magic users in the family, but it’s largely concealed.

Mother: Bridget Marcovitz - former Ravenclaw, works with Madam Villanelle at Flourish and Blotts, along with part time work in magical real estate. Her family is considered pure-blood, but also one of the biggest blood traitor clans, right up there with the Weasley and the Potter families.

She effectively wrangles her kids on top of the work she does, and always seems to enjoy whatever breaks she can catch, especially when Ellie and the twins are all at Hogwarts.

Most of her side of the family is scattered around the US, having hopped the Atlantic when old enough. Her mother still lives out in the lake district area, in the Northrup family house.

Best Friends: "inner circle"

Rowan Khanna

Charlie

Penny

Jae

Talbott

Barnaby

Ben

Good Friends:

Bill

Fred & George

Tonks

Tulip

Andre

Badeea

Chiara

Liz

Friends

Diego

Cedric

Skye

Murphy

Orion

The Weird Sisters

It’s Complicated: Beatrice Haywood, Percy Weasley

Love Interest: Charlie Weasley - hit it off during CoMC, and grew closer over the years and adventures. He was one of the few people who don’t try and lie to her face. She likes that. He also gets her odd sense of humour, most of the time. Some puns seem to go over his head.

Rival: Merula Snyde (despite JC’s efforts, always will be) - reminded Ellie far too much of this one girl at the muggle school she went to before Hogwarts, who could only be described as a Queen Bee and made sure the other students knew it.

Some Interaction: Ismelda (after a few years of the Sphinx club)

Enemies: R, Rakepick, DEs

Dormmates: (Who’s in your MC’s dorm with them?)

Rowan Khanna

[Ellie]

Jasmine Fonseca

Annika Halvorson

Iðunn Larson

Rose Whiteson

Closest MC Friends: Ryan O'Donnell - @unfortunate-arrow , Madeline Orionswan - @madelineorionswan , Ellie Hopper - @thatravenpuffwitch , Cato Reese - @catohphm (?)

Pets: Tiberius (American short-hair cat), Hoots (tawny owl), Angus (cruppie)

University friends: Jane Watkins, Stephan Hatch, Steve Grant, Alex Winspear, Rachel Scott, Shanelle "Hilbert" Wright, and Dawn Winspear.

BACKGROUND/HISTORY

work in progress

Pre Hogwarts:

Born and raised in Aldershot, Hampshire with her siblings, she also spent a lot of time in London while growing up. Her mother works at Flourish and Blotts alongside Madam Villanelle, which meant weekends and summers prior to Hogwarts filled with books. There were even times, as she approached Hogwarts age, that she was allowed to visit the muggle bookshop next to the Leaky Cauldron on occasion for a couple hours on her own.

Went to a muggle primary school near Aldershot, but didn’t necessarily fit in with any of her classmates. She suspected that she scared some of the teachers with some of her stories, along with the fact that she comfortably read well above her age group.

She had a couple friends there, but there really wasn’t much of a friendship. She holds the suspicion that there’s a family curse, when Jacob starts going mad and no one at school likes her.

Hogwarts

1st Year:

She was glad to finally go to Hogwarts, escaping primary schoolmates who loved to torment her, and into a world where she thought she’d be welcomed more warmly. Didn’t think much of the cursed vaults, aside from Merula's curiosity over them, until second semester and the murmurs that enchanted ice had started appearing over break. Was more concerned in disabusing the rumours that Jacob had been involved with the likes of the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who, and dealing with Merula's grudge against her.

2nd Year:

Returned to Hogwarts, eager to crack the Ice Vault, after discovering the hidden staircase and icy runes.

3rd Year:

4th Year:

5th Year:

Grows closer to Charlie this year, and very grateful for his help with the vaults. Sees Rowan being killed, though is unsure how to stop Rakepick from completing the act.

Finds Jacob and gets him to not disappear immediately.

6th Year:

Probably the toughest of all her years at Hogwarts - having passed her OWLs, classes became further complicated. Her friendship with Rowan seemed to be splintering, topped off by her loss. Adding to that, finding the Sunken Vault led to her losing her left leg (below the knee).

7th Year:

Became Head Girl, explored the ministry, and it was relatively quiet up until Christmas break. Decided to visit London, and while in Diagon Alley with Charlie and Percy, Rakepick attacked her.

She feels that the Sunken Vault wasn’t the last, and is proven correct when flipping through one of Rowan’s old textbooks after break. She also has to deal with the appearance of “Peregrine” and the race is on to stop him before R reaches the vault first, and succeeds in closing the last one.

Post Hogwarts:

After managing to get into the University of Leicester and their Astrophysics programme, she kept in touch with her friends in the wizarding world. Weekends were spent between her family in Aldershot and at the Burrow with the Weasleys, especially when the younger members of the family were up at Hogwarts. Otherwise, she kept a low profile, magic-wise.

Order of the Phoenix / 2nd Wizarding War: Wishes she could’ve joined the Order, but was also busy with her University work (was on the continent in 1995, the US ‘96 and most of ‘97), to where she was unable to join meetings. Did work with @kathrynalicemc ‘s Devon Marlowe and the Phoenix Resistance instead.

Post-War: Finished her PhD in gravitational dynamics in 1999, married Charlie in 2000

PERSONALITY

Strengths

Flaws

MISC

She’s the one who gave the Marauder’s Map to the Weasley twins, knowing that they had better uses for it than her. Her only stipulation was they had to claim they got it from Filch’s office, which they quickly agreed with.

Favourite bands include:

the Weird Sisters

the Bent-Winged Snitches

the Proclaimers

Only her younger twin siblings are the only ones to know about her crush in her family, though she suspects both of their parents already know anyways.

She taught the twins some simple hexes in return for the help they’d given her around OWLs the summer after results came. Stuff like Bubble Head, Lumos, Silencio, Scourgify, Vermillious, and even Bat Bogey, which Eileen is particularly good at.

At the end of seventh year, she came home for the summer, stashing her trunk where it always went, by the front door, lined up next to the Twins’ ones, waiting for the mad dash to the train station in fall.

The time having to go to church, especially over summer hols, has left a deep mistrust of people.

Is allergic to a general pain alleviation potion. Found out when she was four or five.

Favourite flower is lilies. Impossible to find, but also favoured flower for a bouquet.

Majored in Astrophysics, eagerly lapping up the parts of Astronomy glossed over at Hogwarts and working on squashing the astrology learned during time at Hogwarts (divination and astronomy)

Skills & Hobbies

#profile #hogwarts mystery #ellie-e-marcovitz #hogwartsmysterystory #about Ellie #long post #work in progress #new updates

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grison-in-space · 8 months

Text

So I've mentioned a couple times that my dogs--mostly Tribble and to a lesser extent Matilda--have a feud with my neighbor's dogs. They have a big family who often visits one another, so there's a number of dogs that are mostly just here occasionally for family time, most of whom totally ignore our dogs. Before I threw the tarp up on the fence, I noticed that there was a specific dog on their end who was doing most of the yelling, just like there's a specific dog on my end (Tribble) who does most of the yelling: a big white dog I've been thinking of as an American Bulldog. (My neighbor referred to her as a pit.)

Anyway, the neighbor came by to talk to us about some dodgy shit in the neighborhood so we knew about things. He also wanted to note that he wasn't mad about the dogs or anything it's fine, he tries to keep his from yelling but the problem is that she's just old and cranky and--

Hang on, I say. Your dog is also an old lady? I mean we occasionally looked over the fence to see who was out, we knew it wasn't all y'all's dogs, but--

Oh yeah, says he, she's ancient. She's fourteen.

Ah, says we. We have one that's particularly bad for the fence fighting too--the brown one, if you've seen her? She's twelve.

So it turns out that my fence fighting problem is two old bitches yelling back and forth at each other to get off their respective lawns. If Matilda wasn't so tempted to join in, this would be completely hilarious; as it is, I'm mostly just giggling to myself. I'm really glad to know my neighbor isn't pissy about it, too.

Anyway, she's not sorry.

#tribble #12 years #boston/Boxer

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tomeandflickcorner · 4 years

Text

Episode Review- The Real Ghostbusters: Adventures in Slime and Space

Apparently, the guy who wrote this episode, David Gerrold, said that he drew inspiration from the Star Trek: The Animated Series episode More Tribbles, More Troubles. And I can see that.

Egon is apparently at it again, as a sudden explosion occurs in his lab in the upper floor of the Firehouse, resulting in the windows and skylight shattering. Which catches the attention of an elderly couple passing by, with the wife commenting on how she felt safer when the dynamite factory was there. (They had a dynamite factory in New York?) The reason for the explosion turns out to have been caused by Egon trying to build a new invention. One he thinks he’s nearly managed to complete. Now, before you say anything, no, this new invention isn’t that thing we’ve seen him working on since When Halloween Was Forever. That’s something that we’ll get properly introduced to in a later episode. This invention, however, is something he calls a prototype Plasmic Strainer. Egon proceeds to explain to Peter what this Plasmic Strainer is supposed to do. With nobody seeming to show any concern for the fact that Ray seems to be encased in an electrical field like Marvel’s Electro (though that effect seems to dissipate on its own after a few minutes). Basically, this Plasmic Strainer would make it possible for them to simply disintegrate ghosts instantly, thereby eliminating the need to trap and store them in the Containment Unit. (Um, Egon? Are you actually saying that you created a device that can ‘kill’ a ghost?! Because I find that slightly terrifying.)

At this point, Slimer appears on the scene, allowing Ray to reveal that Egon hasn’t been the only one inventing a new toy. Ray’s invention was a computer module called the Banana 9000 (a possible homage to HAL 9000), which had been fitted with a voterizer synthetic speech library. With this computer, Ray announced it would be possible for Slimer to effectively communicate with them (because at this point in the show, Slimer’s language is little more than nonsensical babbling). All Slimer has to do is type something onto the keyboard, and the computer will offer up an English translation. Of course, it does appear that Ray’s translator isn’t quite finished, as the ‘translation’ suddenly shifts into requests for Ray to stop.

Unfortunately, Peter decides to be a bit of a jerk here, stating that he prefers to stick to his own way of communicating with Slimer, and proceeds to threaten to shoot him with his Proton Pack. This results in Slimer to freak out and begin zooming around the room, bouncing from wall to wall. In the process, Slimer ends up flying headlong into Egon’s Plasmic Strainer. Thankfully, the Plasmic Strainer wasn’t quite perfected yet, so Slimer didn’t get disintegrated. However, this does result in Slimer getting physically separated into a bunch of little Slimers, which proceed to wander about the room in a random pattern. In an attempt to round up the Little Slimers, Peter, Egon and Ray start to chase after them with butterfly nets. Which doesn’t strike me as a practical tool to use, considering Slimer is a ghost and can therefore pass through objects at will. Although it appears that things might be more complicated than one would expect. Because every time one of the Little Slimers hit a solid object, they split up even more. Before long, the number of Little Slimers has grown exponentially, with a large number of them heading out the window and flying out into the city.

Once the hundreds of Little Slimers have gotten loose, and Winston and Janine appear on the scene (I’m guessing they heard the commotion upstairs and came to investigate), Egon and Ray explains what just happened. It turns out that when Slimer passed through the Plasmic Strainer, he became molecularly dis-coordinated. In other words, he lost his surface tension, and whenever one of the little Slimers collides with a material object, the Little Slimer will shatter into even more Little Slimers. And if they don’t find a way to reverse this issue, then eventually the entire world will be covered by a thin layer of slime. Of course, things are already bad enough, as the millions of Little Slimers have already caused a number of car crashes on the streets below. As well as caused a lot of people to slip and slide about on the sidewalks. With one hapless woman sliding past who I’m pretty sure was supposed to be Larry, Moe and Curly (which was an incredibly random cameo).

As the issue with the Little Slimers running rampant gets bigger and bigger (or rather smaller and smaller, in this case), the Ghostbusters decide that it might be best to pay a visit to Mayor Lenny to inform him of what’s going on. Because it’s better for him to hear about this from them instead of from someone else, I guess. (But not before Peter tries to run away from the problem by booking a flight to anywhere but there, only to change his mind when he hears the only available flight at the moment is headed for France. I guess Peter has a thing against France.) When they get to Mayor Lenny’s office, Mayor Lenny is not very pleased, especially since it’s apparently an election year. Although, we do get a subtle nod to the events of the movie, as Mayor Lenny mentions the incident with the Terror Dogs and the ‘walking marshmallow.’ Needless to say, the mayor is aghast when Ray casually suggests waiting to resolve the issue until January, when all the slime would be frozen and easy to pick up. He demands that they resolve the issue now, giving them a 24 hour deadline.

After leaving Mayor Lenny’s office, Egon suggests there might be a solution. If they change the polystratisification on the Plasmic Strainer, they could reverse the polarity of the Little Slimers. Ray clarifies this statement by comparing it to magnets. If one of the Little Slimers were to pass through the altered Plasmic Strainer, all the other Little Slimers would be drawn to it, resulting in them reforming into one singular Slimer again. Of course, for this to work, they have to first catch a Little Slimer. A task that’s clearly easier said than done, as evidenced by the next scene of the Ghostbusters and Janine tripping over each other in a vain attempt at catching one of the Little Slimers. Why nobody thought to simply ask one of the Little Slimers to cooperate is beyond me. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter, as one Little Slimer just happens to decide to go back through the altered Plasmic Strainer on his own. When this Little Slimer emerges, we see he has turned from green to blue, which is clearly meant to indicate his polarity has been changed. Like Egon predicted, all the other Little Slimers begin to be drawn towards Blue Slimer, and the merging begins.

Of course, things aren’t wrapped up just like that, which the Ghostbusters learn when they head up to the roof of the Firehouse to get a better look at Slimer reforming. It turns out that, while all the Little Slimers were loose, they were all busy eating whatever they could find throughout the city. So when Blue Slimer has fully absorbed all of the Little Slimers, he’d grown to roughly the size of a two or three story house. And the unexpected excess has caused such a shock to Slimer’s system, it resulted in him turning evil. Fortunately, Egon knows of a way to rectify this. He proposes that controlled blasts from the Proton Streams should be enough to neutralize the excess slimic energy within Giant Blue Slimer and return him to Normal Slimer. But to put that plan into effect, they’ll need to pay another visit to Mayor Lenny, in order to ask him to loan them some helicopters.

Of course, Mayor Lenny is not pleased at the request for helicopters and is all set to throw the Ghostbusters out of his office. But he changes his tune pretty quickly when Giant Blue Slimer appears at his window and proceeds to abduct Janine. So, armed with the loaned helicopters (I’m guessing we’re supposed to have forgotten about the existence of the Ecto-2, considering we haven’t seen it since the first episode), the Ghostbusters track Giant Blue Slimer down to the top of the Empire State Building. Yes, that’s right, folks. We’re officially parodying King Kong at this point. They even have Giant Blue Slimer plummeting towards the streets below after being shot down.

Thankfully, the ordeal did indeed result in Slimer returning to normal. And, upon returning to the Firehouse, he proceeds to express his thanks with the aid of Ray’s Banana 9000 translator, which seems to be working now. The Ghostbusters then tell him that it’s good to have him back, with Peter commenting that one Slimer is more than enough. Which leads to Slimer hugging Peter. And on that note, the episode ends.

This really felt like a filler episode, especially since I really don’t know what else I could say about it. The only other thing that’s probably worth a mention is the running gag of them suggesting simply moving to Pittsburg in order to get away from actually rectifying the issue of the millions of Little Slimers. But that didn’t make a lot of sense, since it was established pretty early on that the problem wouldn’t exactly be contained within the city and it would eventually affect the entire world. Plus, what exactly was so appealing about Pittsburg to begin with? Unless you have a thing for bridges, I admit I don’t quite see the draw.

(Click here for more Ghostbusters reviews)

#the real ghostbusters #rgb episode review #ghostbusters franchise

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wandering-dogs · 5 years

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So I want to babble some more about bibble stuff, but I kept that one post ‘short’ for a reason; I left out most of the things I think may just be Wander-Specific, for whatever reason. So this is going to be a very long post about One Dog in Particular.

First; He only loves me. Okay yeah, he loves my family too, but like, its not the same. You want him to follow one of them? Oh, okay, he’ll herd them! No, that’s not what you want? You wanted him to follow them like he does me, where its just quiet and attentive, except not at me??? No, that wont work. He decided that much. He follows me into the bathroom, into the back yard, into my room, into the room I work on crafts, the front yard, the kitchen, the living room, other people’s rooms, my neighbors house, my neighbors yard, kitchen, living room... You get the idea. Wherever I am, he wants to be. And I can tell you with 100% accuracy, without looking at him, where he is when I am in each room. I don’t have to go /looking/ for this dog. He isn’t what I’d call a creature of habit, but he’s a loyal creature nonetheless.

And on the topic of He Only Loves Me... This extends to his breeder. A trait that I thought was really cool when talking to her and finding out about her dogs was that all her puppies that go away, if and when they visit, Recognize her. They know who she is! I got to even see that. And it didn’t seem to matter how long it had been, either. Spoiler alert; Wander is not like that. I don’t know why, but when we went to visit her last time, he acted like he barely knew her. She was basically a stranger, honestly. She tried to examine his merle markings, and he locked up until I /very gently/ touched his leg, which he then relaxed for her. He didn’t come to her, though his recall is amazing, and actually one of the few things that often extends to people he knows. (Oh, did I not mention that he only listens to me and people we know? Weird.) He did not /care/ about her at all, and you could tell; It was not something she was used to or expecting. From this, I can only assume it’s not a normal border collie thing.

A side note on that; You could tell his puppies at the time from the rest. They were calmer, more prone to laying down near a person... But you could see the fact that none of Us were their people. It was a visible difference from the bird-like swarm of hive mind puppies that were running amok and terrorizing my little sister’s shoes (i have several photos of her with the puppies, its like a pack of hungry tribbles) ((I’ve since been able to get updates from one of the puppies owners btw and the pup is turning out gorgeous, and I’m so excited to see her grow))

He does /not/ get along with strange dogs. And this isn’t necessarily his fault. We used to go to a dog park because it was pretty quiet, open, and most owners were good. Its gone rather downhill since, but we stopped going a while ago, because even if we were training or just using it as an area for longer-distance fetch, dogs would run over and start shit. Even dogs that were playing with other dogs at the time would literally stop, see Wander, and run over to fuck with him. Which ends up in him being like “Don’t be a douche” and snapping at them before returning, which somehow translates into /Wander is a dick/???? I’m not really sure what the logic there is. But after a few repeat incidents, we’ve just stopped going. This trait of dogs not-liking him also extends to nor only other border collies, but his own /relatives/! When we went to the border collie family reunion, he got to run wild with a bunch of his relatives. And while he was a bit obnoxious, he recalled well when he misbehaved, and for the most part just hung out with me. Despite this, if he went near to sniff most of the other dogs, they would growl or snap at him, something they weren’t doing with the other border collies. So something about him is apparently so strange that even his relatives don’t like it. Which is fine by me, since he has a few dog friends we hang out with, and is working on ignoring strange dogs better anyways, but... It’s less great in the fact that introducing him to new dogs, even if he’s not staring, ends up in the other dog misbehaving most of the time. (honestly it worries me a bit for dog sports)

He doesn’t like food. Now, I touched on this a bit before in the Big Post, but I didn’t really explain what I meant. Or, I did, but not the extent. He doesn’t like Food. When we got him, he was on Victor; His breeder was even kind enough to give us some of the same brand for him, in case we didn’t have any. He refused it. As in, he would literally rather eat the adult dog food. So, for a while, we switched him to that, and let Simon finish off his puppy food. Not ideal, but he was eating at least! Except that made him sick. So, puppy version of the food we were getting the other dogs! That should work! And it did, for a bit. Actually, he was p fond of it for a while. And then suddenly didn’t want that either. So I started putting it in a ball, so he had to work for it, which, hey, look, he’s eating again!! How nice!!! Surprise, that didn’t last. We moved him onto adult food since he was finally old enough, and he did well. Then he stopped eating that for the most part. When I say he stopped eating, I mean I could only feed him at 1am with nobody else awake while I played overwatch, or he would just stare at me. We changed brands, it worked for a week, he was over it. We repeated. Changed brands. Changed flavors. Rotated through what he ate previously. He still to this day only eats late at night, with Pandora in a crate (because she’s a theif) while I’m playing video games, if everyone else is asleep. Which made camping very difficult, as he would only eat a bit at a time until I figured out if I put just a few crumbs of something good on top, he’d finish off the mini camping bowl of food. But then he’d not eat again. Even if he was hungry. This also extends to treats, which are hit or miss; He won’t take meat sometimes, but he took milkbones at the Vets?????

He only walks well on a collar. And even then, as soon as I put heel to a Word, he now only walks well if I cue it. Which you’re like, “Oh, that makes sense, you just have to retrain it/You didn’t train him on a harness” Wrong. His entire puppy life, he could slip out of a collar. As soon as we figured that out, he was a harness dog. It took until he was almost 2 years old for him to learn llw. I actually ended up giving up for several months because I’d been trying for so long that it was just frustrating me, and the frustration was getting worse. Then, I took him out again; It clicked. Our 2 hour walk took half an hour. (its only a mile mind you) We did more walking training, he figured it out, we could do the block in 13 minutes. He did almost perfectly. He was loose leash next to yapping dogs, angry dogs, strollers, whatever I asked. And then I put it on a cue. Heel. It just meant “stand by my side” I’d already been using a small tug on the leash to cue it. Most of my cues are hand signals and words, so it seemed like a good plan. And he got it! And then immediately stopped being loose leashed unless I asked. Like literally he’s better off leash than with a leash on. And if he’s got a harness on? Good! Don’t bother clipping the leash to that, he’ll pull you harder than a sled dog. And that’s having walked him /with/ a set of huskies. Honestly I’m about a step away from hooking this dog up to a sled and hoping he avoids major roads on our journey into the wilderness; Honestly knowing him he’d use the sidewalks. But I don’t particularly want to be dog-sledded into jail for running people over, so that’s off the table for rn.

#wander #border collie #bibble talk

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ladytemeraire · 5 years

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Snapshot Sunday 4/7/19

(Hello all! Trying something a little new with this post - I��d like to use this as a form of accountability and progress report going forward. Feel free to skip or blacklist the Snapshot Sunday tag if you’re not interested.)

Spring has finally arrived here; this past week was still cool but not cold, and today I have the apartment open to let fresh air in. Dunno if it’s the weather or what but I finally have the perfect Venn diagram overlap of time, energy, and motivation to actually get stuff done. Putting the rest under a cut because this got long.

Knitting:

I finished off the See You Later socks... two weeks ago? Oops, should probably post pictures. Right now I’m working on a new pair of self-striping socks:

The colorway is called “Jedi” so I’m doing a braided cable pattern for a little visual interest.

I’ve also dug out my ten-stitch blanket as a brainless project for when my Star Wars DnD crew meets on Sundays, so maybe I’ll get some progress made on that this month. I thought I was getting close to the end, but during the course of unfucking my room I found two (!!!) more skeins of Caron Simply Soft lurking under a pile of mending. Argh. Anyone else feel like their yarn stash breeds like tribbles?

Spinning:

Still chipping away at the last batch of dog fur/wool rolags. Got one set plied up earlier this week and have another batch of singles in progress. Spinning guild meets this week so maybe I’ll make some more progress on that. Also took pictures of my new stash acquisitions so I can add them to Ravelry.

Writing:

Got... a little over a page written on ToC? This was really not a great writing week. Both my boss and my manager were out this week at the day job so I was scrambling to field questions and put out fires on my own, which didn’t leave much brain space for writing. I think I got some stuff figured out for a couple of my projects though.

Exercise:

Fell off the wagon this week, so a big honking zero here. I did get my mini stepper set up today though, so I’m gonna make a real effort starting tomorrow. (Having body image issues due to hormones this week didn’t help at all.)

Adulting:

Unfucked a serious portion of my ever-present floordrobe and KonMari’d my t-shirts:

Those dividers are so dang handy, if a bit stubborn to get the correct length. Gonna put shorts and/or tank tops in that right-hand section. This coming week I’m gonna focus on my hanging tops before moving on to the other drawers.

Got all my plants moved outside (or to my bedroom windowsill) so there’s a huge area of my living room freed up. I still need to order some of these so I can get herbs underway. I’d also like to try green onions and maybe ginger this year, we’ll see. (Someone remind me not to buy berry bushes or peppers or other plants I don’t have the room or sunshine for.)

...Of course now I really need to vacuum over by where the plants have been all winter, sigh.

Last night I made chicken tikka masala with a bunch of veggies and it turned out so good, so that’s several meals sorted for this week. I made a copycat Shanghai Angus Beef earlier in the week and while it was pretty good it wasn’t quite right, so I still need to futz around with that.

Still need to get all my paperwork together and make an appointment for taxes. (I let H&R block handle those ever since my contract company screwed up my W2s the first year I worked for them; it’s absolutely worth the cost to me especially on the years I’ve had documents from multiple companies.)

Also need/want to get more pictures hung up because the bare walls are finally starting to bother me. It’s weird the things you don’t notice when you’re in the depression pit; now that I have people over sometimes I actually want the place to look a little more cheerful.

Well, that’s it from my end. How was your week? What did you get accomplished, or what do you want to get accomplished this coming week?

#snapshot sunday #life with ladytemeraire #personal #long post alert

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icarusthelunarguard · 7 months

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This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” and see if they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them. Tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. And “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

This week’s someone suggested “Wing or Horn” as inspiration… So, that’s what we’ll do! We’re generating a list of random animals and decide which is more cursed - adding a horn or wings to them. And no, we’re not adding any magic to the mix.

Aries

Your animal turns out to be… the Whale. Truth be told, adding wings or a horn seems kinda useless: a whale wouldn’t be able to generate enough lift into the air, and there’s already the Narwal out there, granted it’s a tooth and not a true horn. But since we HAVE to choose, you’re getting the wings - so that The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a good ending for that whale. This week, buy some petunia seeds.

Taurus

For you we have the Dhole, or Asian Wild Dog. Let’s just make this simple: WINGS! If you domesticated, even just slightly, this dog and it had a horn, it would run up to greet you and impale you through the stomach. Make no mistake, flying dogs are preferable. This week donate Wee-Wee Pads to a local animal shelter.

Gemini

Way to go, Gemini. You just screwed up the whole system with your animal, “a Mare”. RIGHT! Ok, so.. Unicorn or Pegasus, right? There’s only one logical choice for you and everyone around you will agree. Unicorn. Because the only way you’ll be able to get near one is by being yourself - meaning a virgin. This week be proud of who you are.

Cancer Moon-Child

With the numbers stacked against you, RNGezus has blessed you with the Gila Monster. It’s a venomous, slow-moving desert-dweller lizard native to Southwestern US and Northwestern Mexico. And again, we’ll make this simple - give it wings! Imagine it! You’ll get to befriend the Ancient Aztec god Quetzalcoatl and be its loyal minion. This week, start planning on how you’ll take over the world!

Leo

This is gunna take a little thought on our part since your animal is The Beaver. After all, it would be pretty bad-ass with a horn, cutting down trees like Woody Woodpecker, but it’s already got a wild tail fin. Let’s give this one a horn, then. Because can you imagine these things flying from dam to dam, clogging up every waterway they can get to? This week, use Google Map’s satellite view to look at your old hometown again.

Virgo

Let’s start off with a bad joke! What does a 500 Pound Canary say? (*DEEP VOICE!*) “Here, Kitty Kitty!” Ok, that out of the way, you get a Wildcat. And this one could go either way - because they have a tendency of being magic-user familiars. Look we’re not adding magic to THEM, but… if you wanted to be seen as a wizard or witch just get either one of these and you’re set. So in our opinion you’ll get whichever one you want… but only so long as you study quantum mechanics this week.

Libra

If your animal gets wings it’ll likely be supersonic as soon as something tried to chase it. You get the Hare - the not-yet evolved version of the Jackalope. Which pretty well seals its fate - it NEEDS a horn so it can finally go on the attack instead of running away from all hunters. This week go out hunting duck.

Scorpio

You’re getting the Tapir. And really, this is another easy one. It looks like a deformed pig, so adding wings to it will just be fodder for all the Southern-Talking people who think things will never happen. So this week take on the impossible with all the courage of a five-year-old wearing a Batman Mask and Cape!

Sagittarius

This one is trickier than we thought. Your animal, the Oryx, is basically a chad deer from African and Asian deserts. Since it already has two rearward-angled horns, adding a front-facing one is just redundant and a waste of materials… but adding wings to a chad beefy boi like them is a terrifying concept. What will they land on, and will it survive the encounter? Well, a coin flip solves the question… THREE HORN TERROR IT IS! This week get a better TV antenna.

Capricorn

This one is a slam dunk - Horn. Yes, we’re calling it before we tell you what the animal is, because “Jimmy Here” is gunna freak out just a little. Your animal is the Capybara, and they are so chill they’d just let all the little birds land on it and relax with them. So this week, plan out your relax-day and enjoy it!

Aquarius

This is a no-brainer! Horn, all the way. Your animal is the Ground Hog, and it deserves to be able to defend itself from all the Michelin tires trying to take out a father just trying to cross the street. This week try to learn a new “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road” joke every day of the week.

Pisces

This one is tough, seriously! Your animal mostly feeds on insects, crabs, earthworms, lizards, birds, and rodents and can be domesticated to deal with vermin pests. You get the Mongoose, and honestly the only real choice is wings. They’re too cute to have a horn in their heads - PLUS if they stab the top of a burrow they try to climb through they’ll have a hell of a time getting back out. So this week… look up videos on how to use petrol to blow up gopher holes in someone’s yard… AND DON’T DO THAT!

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Discord and BLUESKY.

#parody #horrorscope #funny #horoscope #humor #comedy

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trade-baby-blues · 6 years

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Diamond in the Ruff

Pairing: Jim x Reader

Word Count: 1790

Warnings: Suspense. Swearing (I think?? Probably).

A/N: Based on a request by @sebastianstanslefteyebrow. I’m sorry to the other requests I have floating around. I read this one and immediately had an idea (that I stole from the new Star Wars movie) and just rolled with it. I did NOT edit it all because I am super sick and can’t focus but I wanted to post it anyway so y’all can read it. Hope you enjoy!

Finding new signs of intelligent life. Exploring the outer reaches of deep space. This was exactly the kind of thing that got your heart racing. It made up for the last dozen away missions where all you found was soil and poisonous plants.

“Maybe we’ll find a poisonous animal this time,” you rambled to anyone who would listen on the shuttle to the planet’s surface.

Jim scoffed. “You're probably the only person who’s excited about that.”

“Poisonous, not poisonous. I don't really care as long as it's not another new species of subterranean fungi. The botanists always have a field day and the zoology team gets nothing! Ever! And don't you dare even bring up the Phylosians,” you glared at Jim. “You and I both know the botanists robbed us of that find. Sure they're plant-based life forms but they were sentient. Sentient!”

“Officially the Phylosians were classified as an alien race,” Spock interjected, “not a species of plant, therefore the botanists we're not qualified to classify them either.” Spock turned his attention back to the PADD in his hand and you stuck your tongue out at him, making Jim snicker.

“Stupid planet made of stupid rocks and stupid dirt,” you muttered. You kicked the ground, knocking up a small cloud of dust which you promptly inhaled. You swung blindly in front of you trying to disperse it while you coughed your lungs out, eyes burning from the dust and cheeks burning from embarrassment at Jim’s laughter. You flipped him off, but the sight of you covered in dust, tears on your cheeks, muffling a cough had Jim doubled over laughing even harder. “I hate this.”

“Captain,” an Ensign yelled as he ran towards you and Jim. “Captain there's something! Something in the woods! Over there in the...woods.” The ensign collapsed on the ground in front of you.

Jim called for help and dropped to his knees to check for a pulse. You stared at him, jaw dropped and smiling as if someone had just dropped a beautiful alien baby in front of you. Jim caught the look in your eye and pointed his finger at you like he was your father. “Don't you dare.”

“Wasn't he with another ensign, though? We should really find them and make sure they're okay,” you said, inching your way closer to the woods despite Jim’s protests. “It would be cruel to leave them out there without help. I mean it could be a wild animal. A dangerous wild animal.” You had to suppress a fit of giggles, trying not to sound too desperate for a new discovery.

“Which is exactly why I don't want you- Hey! Wait,” Jim called, looking back up from the ensign to find you sprinting full speed into the woods. Jim wrestled with himself, not wanting to leave an ensign unconscious and unattended but knowing you had an even greater affinity for trouble than he did. “Damn it. Don't go anywhere,” he said to the unconscious ensign before running after you.

“This really isn't how I wanted to spend my afternoon,” Jim called out into the empty woods. He cursed under his breath again when there wasn't an answer. “I am not doing the paperwork if you get eaten.”

Jim prepped himself for another shout when something slammed into him from the side, pinning him to a tree back-first. A hand clamped over his mouth and Jim prepared himself for the worst until his eyes finally focused on your profile. He began to protest, albeit muffled, against the palm of your hand but you shushed him.

“They're close.” You saw the question in Jim’s eyes but the woods answered for you as a chorus of howls surrounded you.

Jim shoved your hand away and whispered “Please tell me that's a pack of known animals. Known vegetarian animals.”

“Maybe. Could also be wild sehlats.”

“Sehlats?” Jim coughed, trying to cover up the rising octave in his voice. “Like the one Spock used to have?”

“Oh no, no. Wild ones are much bigger and much more aggressive.” Jim tensed against you, and you could've sworn he stopped breathing for a second. “Of course I’m probably wrong! I mean I was top of my class so it's unlikely, but there haven't been any recorded sightings of sehlats outside of Vulcan before - maybe because anyone who spotted them got eaten - but probably not! It could just be one animal. One small, harmless animal.” A chorus of howls erupted again.

“Does that really sound like one animal to you Lieutenant “Top of the Class Zoologist”,” Jim hissed.

“It could just be throwing its howl. Coyotes have been known to do that to fend off other predators.”

“Oh yeah because coyotes are completely safe.”

“They are as long as you don't threaten them.”

“We’re in the middle of the woods! We have guns.”

“A coyote doesn't know what a gun is.”

“No, but they can smell fear.”

“So don't be scared.”

“Oh great,” Jim said, throwing his hands up. “Thank you so hadn't thought of that. You're absolutely right there's nothing to be scared of lost in the middle of the woods with one ensign already missing and a pack of foreign and possibly carnivorous animals on the loose hunting us.” Jim winced at the loudness in his voice. “They probably didn't hear that, right?”

A rustling from the bushes behind you shut you up before you could answer. Jim pushed you in front of him, reaching for his gun. You immediately crouched, opening your arms and extended your hands. “What are you doing?” Jim whispered sharply at you.

“They're less scared if you get on the same level. They won't view you as an alpha so you won't be a threat.”

“No they see you as a tasty snack!”

“That is completely -” Another chorus of howls, closer this time. A rustling in the bushes. A low growl that sent a jolt of ice through your body and stood the hairs on your neck on end. Jim stepped closer to you, whether to comfort you or himself you didn’t know. Probably would never know. Probably would die in the woods on an alien planet slowly eaten by vicious animals and never knowing if Jim was trying to comfort you in his last moments. Never knowing what it would be like to get married and have kids and a dog and that apple pie, picket fence kinda life you’d always dreamed of.

Gradually, the creature emerged. Snout first. Teeth bared. You quickly ran through a list of mammalian physiology. It was clearly canine like, though the fur seemed rigid and you’d never seen an animal with a lavender cut before. As the rest of the creature emerged, only one thought crossed your mind: “Holy shit.”

You immediately dropped to your knees, smile plastered on your face as if your parents had just surprised you with a puppy on Christmas day. “Holy shit, Jim. I think this is a new species of Vulptex. I’ve only read about them in stories, but they were said to have crystalline fur.”

The Vulptex crept forward cautiously. You extended your fingers farther, bowing your head. Jim whispered your name in warning but you ignored him as the creature finally brushed its wet nose against your fingertips. Your fingers ran through its coat, expecting harsh edges. Instead you were greeted by fur softer than you could have imagined. Your fingers slid through it as if it was water. The Vulptex seemed to be enjoying the encounter too, because it leaned into your hand before letting out a sharp bark.

A few other heads emerged from the bushes. Seeing their friend in your arms and unharmed, they quickly ran at you. Their growls changed to excited barks as they licked every patch of skin they could find on you. Surprisingly, their tongues were course, much like a cat’s. Their eyes were an almost hypnotic shade of dark blue, not that you had much time to look into them with the pups jumping into your face. You laughed as one managed to get a tongue inside your nose. Jim laughed with you, finally putting his gun away and letting his guard down.

As soon as he knelt, the Vulptexes were all over him too, sniffing his hair, licking his cheeks, covering his uniform in muddy paw prints. You laughed again. “I finally discover a new species and they’re puppies.” You cupped one of the Vulptex’s faces and blew a raspberry against its nose. The creatures all snapped to attention, looking around bewildered. You laughed again and a few of the more skittish ones ran back into the bushes.

“There you are,” a voice said from the bushes. Several excited barks followed.

“Ensign Ramero,” Jim called. “Is that you?”

The ensign emerged cuddling one of the smallest pups in her arms. “Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to abandon the other ensign. I just saw one of these guys tangled in some thorns and I couldn’t leave ‘im there. Vasiliev was scared, sayin’ they were poisonous or some shit, pardon my French, and, well, like I said I couldn’t just leave the lil guy.” Ramero ruffled the fur on the Vulptex’s head and it nuzzled closer to her.

“See,” Jim muttered. “I’m not the only one who thought they were dangerous.”

“Yeah, about as dangerous as a tribble.”

“Tribbles are a banned from transportation on Starfleet vessels because of their danger and you know that.”

“Oh, come on. They’re just like cats, only a little more invasive.”

“A little? Don’t you remember that time you snuck a Tribble that happened to be pregnant on board? Scotty was finding Tribbles in every duct on the Enterprise!”

“That was one time.”

“One time with the Tribbles. Then there was also that Regulan bloodworm-”

“Which proved to have incredible medicinal use.”

“Oh yeah and the Ceti eel that almost ate Chekov’s brain? Did that have medicinal use too?”

“No,” you sighed. “But it was super cool. And these are just like dogs! I could probably train one to fetch you your slippers or your PADD. Except it’d probably miss it’s pack. Unless we can bring them all.”

“No.” Jim said without hesitation. You pouted, but only for a few seconds before a Vulptex jumped into your face again to lick you. You smiled and rubbed behind its ears, making it wiggle its back leg.

“But they’re so cute,” you whined.

Jim hunkered down, lying back against the forest floor. The Vulptexes took their chance and swarmed him, jumping and sniffing and licking all over him. One of the pups had curled up between the two of you and was already dozing off. Jim sighed deeply. “Yeah, they are.”

Tags: @outside-the-government @martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @thefanficfaerie @mysteriously-lost-forever @feelmyroarrrr @yukki-art @atari-writes @pabegay1 @bolontiku @brooke-taylor0323 @anotherotter @the-witching-hours12-3

#star trek #jim kirk imagine #jim kirk x reader #captain kirk x reader #captain kirk imagine #my fics

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