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izzyspussy · 1 year

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I posted 23,652 times in 2022

That's 3,868 more posts than 2021!

3,189 posts created (13%)

20,463 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@calicojackofficial

@yankovic

@treesofgreen

@second-hand-heaven

@jezifster

I tagged 22,086 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#i can queue you with my brain - 4,132 posts

#jack facts - 3,426 posts

#horror tag - 2,986 posts

#ofmd - 2,954 posts

#writing process - 2,776 posts

#reading process - 1,798 posts

#word - 1,563 posts

#please - 1,088 posts

#witch noir - 1,037 posts

#jack chats - 986 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#s: do you think whales have feelings. i: shut the fuck up. go to sleep. e: i bet they do. i think they probably sing love songs to each othe

My Top Posts in 2022:

anyway so basically the crew overhears blackbonnet finally having sex, right, and it's ed's first time vanilla-ing so for the crew members who have overheard him before... sounds different. and everyone also just kind of alsfjasl figured that stede is not great in bed just given his general swaglessness. so ASLFKJASL they assume that ed is faking for him lmaoooo. even izzy is in on this. he hates the "invasion of blackbeard's privacy" BUT he loves the insult to stede and the potential for trouble in pansyboy paradise.

so the crew are all trying to figure this out. they're trying to catch them In It enough to really tell if those noises are genuine (and also, on the part of the black half what the fuck is captain bonnet doing) but at the same time nobody wants to actually have to bear witness. those are their dads.

throughout these hijinks (which mostly consist of gossip), izzy and the black half occasionally mention jack. izzy has the most info about That Whole Thing due to his curse/privilege of having been ed's (best? only? can you be the best if you're the only? much to forcibly not think about) friend previous to all of this. ed and jack had a Thing when they were young, and they usually take it up again briefly whenever they run into each other now.

so of course izzy gets an idea. he's already basically done this once, can't hurt to try again. but the rest of the crew is in on it this time - where izzy is trying to tempt ed and break him and stede up, everyone else just wants a first hand Source.

so izzy contacts jack by way of plot device messenger seagull or whatever and he shows up again (not sure if dead in canon...?). ed isn't as happy to see him this time but he doesn't seem upset either, though he does take jack aside on the first night so he can receive his threat to behave from Blackbeard (TM) without an audience. stede also, uh, has some words of warning for him. the crew (and the audience) know not what stede said, but strangely enough that seems to have been the more effective Talk.

unfortunately for izzy jack's presence does not do fuck or shit to cause drama between ed and stede. on the one hand, ed now has a direct comparison to make between the sex he was having and the sex he is having, and he's coming up preferable toward the present. on the other hand, jack makes stede jealous, which makes him possessive, which makes him get a little less vanilla, so really it's a moot point regardless. co-captain sex gets better/worse, depending which side of the door you're on.

jack, however, has a mission and he's gonna see it through. not izzy's mission, that guy is a fuckin downer (and he himself doesn't really want ed back, never really did honestly). the gossip mill, though. that thing needs fed and by god jack is gonna feed it. least he can do for murdering that bird is to tell everyone if their poncy captain is a hardcore freak or not.

so jack gives up trying to make ed horny - and it's not that this wasn't working, it's just that when ed got horny from, say, seeing jack mess around with that fucking whip, his first thought was always to take that up with stede - and instead just starts asking him things directly.

ed leads ship's business one morning (they alternate who has to get up early) and underneath his steadily growing scruff he looks like he's been fucking mauled. from just under both ears all the way down below the collar of his not especially high cut shirt (and who knows how much further) he's absolutely covered in red-purple hickeys.

"thought you hated being marked up," jack not-quite asks. ed grins at him, uncomplicatedly happy (and that's the real difference innit). he's the epitome of 'bright-eyed and bushy-tailed'.

"nah," he says. "didn't wanna risk being marked up. but i'm fucking blackbeard now, i can do whatever i want."

(now jack would never, ever admit this, not even to himself. but maybe now he's the one who's a little jealous, because-)

"you were blackbeard last time we fucked."

"yeah, guess i was," ed allows, entirely unperturbed. "you didn't try it."

"would you have let me?" jack asks, already knowing the answer perfectly well. ed thinks about it, very briefly, shrugs again.

"prob'ly not."

later, stede calls ed 'darling' on deck. jack asks about this too, and ed simply tells him that stede also calls him 'baby' and 'sweetheart'. sweetheart! he repeats in credulity, shaking his head, pointing at himself.

(jack did attempt to call ed 'baby' - once - and had been told that if he ever said it again he'd have his dick cut off and fed to him piece by piece over a period of several days.)

finally, finally, jack can't take the 'mystery' anymore and, in a tight weed circle with ed and a few lucky crew members one night after stede has long gone to bed, he asks straight up, "so how does he compare?"

it takes ed a moment to realize what the fuck jack is asking, and when he does he laughs out loud. "what, to you?"

and really. that fucking answers that, dunnit.

340 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

"only fanfiction has things like 'enemies to lovers'"

huh. weird. i could have sworn pride and prejudice was a traditionally published book studied academically as a piece of classic literature...

819 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

I hate when I read a good book and it makes me want to write my book good but writing a good book is not nearly as easy as reading one

947 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

Ok final ask from me tonight: who in the crew would be the funniest for Izzy to fake date? I think angstiest would definitely go to Ed but funniest? Idk ~ blackhannet anon

Funniest (and angstiest) if Ed has no earthly clue that this is torture for Izzy. Also very funny that his only point of reference is Stede. Ed, in his mind: so which of us is the wealthy landowner and which of us is the bloodthirsty pirate? He puts himself into the Stede role and treats Izzy real chivalrous and gentlemanly and whatnot, but.... very badly kaslfkjls. He doesn't actually know how to do it.

Stede

Stede, in his mind: so which of us is the wealthy landowner and which of us is the bloodthirsty pirate? Can I be the pirate? I wanna be the pirate. I'm going to be the pirate. And Izzy has to figure out how to play along with that or they fail the fucking mission and get killed or whatever.

Jim

The extent of what they do to convince their mark is hold hands, poorly. Like Stede and Mary on their wedding day. ...At First. Izzy has been saying what a terrible idea this is since it was suggested, and as soon as it seems like he was right he's gloating even though it means he's failed. And then it's a challenge to Jim, a way to win and also wipe that smirk off of Izzy's face. They start hitting him really hard in the mouth with their mouth for no god damn reason except that the mark is, like, there.

Oluwande

Olu treats Izzy with chivalry, but like, real genuine working class chivalry. Every time Izzy looks into the middle distance, Jim is there, threatening him with great bodily harm. No one else ever sees them.

Lucius

The plan was not to fake date, but the mark made assumptions and they had to go with it. Lucius has an absolute blast. Izzy's internal rage/sexual tension is pulled so tight it's a miracle he doesn't snap right in half. Lucius is fully aware of this, and the knowledge is 80% of the fun he's having.

Black Pete

Izzy has never been called so many pet names in his life. He's never heard of so many pet names in his life. He attempts to return the favor and sounds like he is trying to speak a language he does not know. The mark falls for the ruse because Pete is very cute despite all obstacles, but they do take Pete aside after their business is done and ask if Izzy has something fundamentally wrong with him.

Frenchie

Somehow this is the most competent combination. Frenchie is adaptable and personable and can manage to fit with Izzy pretty well, even if he wouldn't actually choose to for real. They fall into simple, non-PDA demonstrations of intimacy like walking in sync or anticipating each other's movements. The only fuck up is that Frenchie does accidentally reprise "Jizzy" in front of the mark, and in the name of their cover Izzy has to answer to it.

Buttons

Izzy thinks this is the least objectionable combination. Buttons doesn't like him, but he's a competent sailor and he hasn't yet caused Izzy any real trouble. Of course, throughout the grift, Izzy is confronted with all the ways Buttons is an absolutely bonkers person who cannot be handled, understood, or even described. Buttons has an alright time, though. He tells the crew after it's done that Izzy is "a fine lad" but not his type. Izzy has no comment, as he has not yet recovered from his experiences.

Roach

Roach seems to genuinely think he Needs to know about Izzy's kinks and fetishes to make them believable as a couple. He tells Izzy his without shame or prompting. Izzy cancels the mission.

Wee John

Wee John insists he has to be a woman for this. He's fully aware that couples do not solely consist of one man and one woman. But he insists he has to be a woman for this.

The Swede

The Swede, out loud: so which of us is the wealthy landowner and which of us is the bloodthirsty pirate?

1,349 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

rookie mistake ed made not letting stede and izzy sniff each other through the bathroom door for a week before introducing them smh

1,986 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #jack facts #writing process #reading process

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bnyrbt · 2 years

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i’m not male but i am a pansyboy

#sasha #a femboy a prettyboy etc #genderposting

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airedelalmena · 3 years

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lmfaooooooo apparently myr*gewillendworlds is still on here good god

#i cant believe those guys still exist and are still peddling their shit to the few who will listen #how do you spend that many years hooked on the illogic of #'imma real macho mans man and the truest that ever lived and im better than u mentally ill pansybois. str8 culture pls accept and love me'#and not grow up.......at all??#just.#lmfao #wow #tbd #hellsite #pointless drama #shitpost #the whole mindset and life ethos the old school tru types have is a shitpost #it just looks mildly more sane and stable when contrasted with the deep dysfunction that is mogai discourse hell #both sucked though #how is anyone still subscribing to...either one actually like where is the nuance #two poles

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pansyfemme · 3 years

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Eugh I'm sorry about these asks. Have a funny ask to counterbalance: Whenever I think about your blog I always go through hoops over usernames bc I'm like "Oh! This reminds me of a post I'd see on pansyboy. No wait pansyboyfriend? No uhhh. That's not it" and i always have to take a minute to fully remember your user. It always makes me laugh bc my.brain really does to everything but what it actually is. You do NOT know how many times I've mistyped and been like "WUH? JUDE? Blog disappeared"

adfdsbjmgb im sorry i keep being so indecisive abt urls… i really want the pansyboy or pansyboyfriend url but theyre taken so its just my url other places lol… But also dw abt the mean ppl it happens

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dsm-v · 3 years

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My gender is pansyboy faggot

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adandyaday-blog · 7 years

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First post. A quick dandy. Will post more.

#dandy #art #cravat #pansyboy #prettyboy #sketch #menswear #l'dandy #ADandyADay

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sarcastic-doodle · 7 years

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Epic rant ahead. In response to your comment on my post about jlockers in our tag @chinchillanna

I’d say something scathing cause this post was meant for the wankers but if you’ve never done it don’t take unnecessary offence. You don’t know how irritating it is from this side of the fandom. As for the rest, I’d say it’s a matter of difference in opinion of ships.

Unhealthy?- dont even open that bag of worms i dont even need to answer it.

One sided relationship? - I don’t thinks mutually caring for the other could be called one sided. we’ve had gradual growth in their friendship throughout the series please progress as the episodes do

hating himself for lying to her - it was definitely sherlock coming to terms with his feelings for Molly. First one was forced he doesn’t like being manipulated under duress but the second one was genuine he looks torn(he doesn’t look like he’s hating himself)that he had to say out loud the words he didn’t want to acknowledge. Though I’d give you this, this scene does depend on the vantage point of the viewer (aka. Shipper in this case) We’ve spent as much time on our ship as you’ve done on yours. Our assumptions/hc are just as valid as yours are. So don’t go around disregarding something that has more context than your subtext.

weak-dependent? - Molly? Are you serious?She is probably the sanest and the most level headed person on the show albeit with a soft spot for the detective but please don’t even say she isn’t strong?! Maybe it’s just me but Irrevocably loving someone doesn’t make you simpering or weak. Honestly it’s a quality I’ve always admired. Sort of like parental affection, I’d say genuine selfless unconditional love is something we’re always shortchanged in life. Its so easy to be selfish and just as difficult to be selfless and giving. And that’s only an inkling of a reason why I’ve always loved Molly. She is so much more than that. You say she deserves better- and yes she does - from you and everyone who claims she deserves better and then look down at her for exhibiting a human frailty which she transformed into an quiet integral strength - a vulnerability too (her boon and bane) that she is so well known for. Do you even realise how rare people like Molly IRL are? The unquestioning pillars of support without the assurance of it being a familial obligation? Hint : Very.

Damn right we will rejoice. Just like jlock did with the hug and adl0ck did with TLD.You know why? Because we love her for what she is,exactly how she is . Without judgement. She deserves the best because she is the best of people. I doubt anyone shipped sherlolly hard in s1 cos let’s be honest sherlock was a dick and molly needed to stop being mousey and frankly it always felt like infatuation nothing deeper that it later became. They needed personal growth which they got and you can’t possibly associate the people/relationship that used to be uptil this episode. They’ve changed. They’re interactions have evolved. Sherlock’s getting better with people too. And believe me nothing but the best for Molly. She is that sort of character. Unfortunately the writers only ever write her in the script in lieu of her affection of sherlock so if pansyboy is what makes her happy THEN pansyboy it is. take that into consideration too.

So no it wasn’t ‘fake’ or ‘forced’ in my opinion. I’m not saying it was the love confession I hoped for(I’d rather have it without the theatrics ) but it was certainly apt considering the shows premise of sentimental entanglement. Just the right amount of angst

So instead of dissing a ship on a post meant to call out people disregarding common courtesy (well hello exhibit A) you should probably- I honestly have nothing nice to say.

My ship is just as awesome as yours. My ship is just as ridiculous as yours. My ship is just as canon as yours(I might be biased but an I Love You does mean a lot more than a hug)(the hug - JL being my BrOtp I always saw that scene as a friend consoling a grieving friend…but as a shipper you might have perceived it in an entire different context.) See difference in opinions between different ship shippers. Although bashing and demeaning other ships because you were disappointed it didnt go your way is totally uncalled for.

P.S : It’s pretty obvious in the fandom that MoffTiss can’t write a female char a decent script without a dark/dead undertone to it. So honestly nobody had high hopes for proper female representation on the script. Its certainly better than the previous seasons but only marginally . In their defense they did promise a great crime drama starring SH and JW which they more than just delivered on. Canon Molly and Sherlolly isn’t as superficial and one dimensional as you think they are. They are more than just a CoolBoy/ShyGirl stereotype.Don’t dump your script-al(?) woes on the ship. Its just a fictional show and a fictional ship. Take it with a pinch of salt.Byeee

#sherlolly #rant #reply post #molly hooper #chinchillanna #fandom wank

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izzyspussy · 2 years

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"thought you hated being marked up," jack not-quite asks. ed grins at him, uncomplicatedly happy (and that's the real difference innit). he's the epitome of 'bright-eyed and bushy-tailed'.

"nah," he says. "didn't wanna risk being marked up. but i'm fucking blackbeard now, i can do whatever i want."

(now jack would never, ever admit this, not even to himself. but maybe now he's the one who's a little jealous, because-)

"you were blackbeard last time we fucked."

"yeah, guess i was," ed allows, entirely unperturbed. "you didn't try it."

"would you have let me?" jack asks, already knowing the answer perfectly well. ed thinks about it, very briefly, shrugs again.

"prob'ly not."

(jack did attempt to call ed 'baby' - once - and had been told that if he ever said it again he'd have his dick cut off and fed to him piece by piece over a period of several days.)

it takes ed a moment to realize what the fuck jack is asking, and when he does he laughs out loud. "what, to you?"

and really. that fucking answers that, dunnit.

#jack facts #ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #calico jack #my fic #hc #writing process

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