#personal column

[tcmparty]

@tcmparty live tweet schedule for the week beginning Monday, January 16, 2023. Look for us on Twitter…watch and tweet along…remember to add #TCMParty to your tweets so everyone can find them :) All times are Eastern.

Friday, Jan. 20 at 8:00 p.m.

LURED (1947)

A taxi dancer helps the police catch the serial killer who murdered her best friend.

#schedule #personal column #douglas sirk #lucille ball #george sanders #charles coburn #boris karloff #sir cecil hardwicke #joseph calleia #alan mowbray #george zucco #robert coote #alan napier #tanis chandler

[secondbeatsongs]

there's something really magical when you're learning a new skill, and the switch suddenly flips from, "wait, what do I do here?" to "oh, I know exactly what to do here!" and you realize that you've actually learned something! that you've worked hard and studied and now you don't have to look up youtube tutorials, you don't have to stare at documentation and instructions, you can just...do stuff!

the only downside here is that this feeling is very addictive, and you'll soon find yourself with more hobbies than you have the free time or physical space for

ah, well. worth it!

#personal #context: I'm digitizing something in inkstitch #a skill I”ve been learning for a few weeks now #and I realized that I know what I'm doing #I know how to fit the satin columns so they work in the machine #I know how to trace the fonts #I don't need help anymore #at least not right now #and that's startling but also a wonderful feeling

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[nearlydark]

Enjoying the shadows at the Huntington Library

Harman Phoenix 200 🎞️

#personal #film photography #my film #35mm film #stay broke shoot film #film is not dead #35mm #canon ae1 #california #Huntington library #I fucking did it #mine #shadows #architecture #columns #I shoot film

[spookygibberish]

Also if anyone is curious here's my big dumb very very roughly ranked list of shit I've listened to over the last yearish

#types a disclaimer for myself in my personal spreadsheet for personal use in case i forget my own opinions about ranked lists #also the little m/f column is bc i was curious if i had any preferences or biases regarding author sex and wanted to visualize it #off topic #books #this is a few months shy of a year of Listening to Books #i was feeling really unsatisfied and restless with all my podcasts and switched to audiobooks instead and it was a great choice #laughs at heinlien down on the bottom. im gonna listen to starship troopers eventually and im gonna take poison damage im sure

[quinloki]

So

I learned a thing yesterday and chewed on it a bit before deciding to share, but I have to.

My spouse shared a "Things you think are illegal that aren't." article with me, specifically one line item, and I have to admit - I really thought it was illegal myself, but! it really makes sense why it isn't.

Step-Siblings can get married.

Commonly referred to as Step-cest in fandom circles, there's nothing actually incestuous about step-siblings getting their get-it-on on. Since incest is defined by being too closely related in a biological sense, and also by definition step-siblings are not blood related.

if they were they'd be half-siblings or just siblings.

I just wanted to share, from a social stand point I find it really interesting because I really did think it was illegal - I knew it was at the minimum at least frowned upon, but that's just social hang ups.

#quin muses #I'm honestly a little surprised with my ownself #how much more okay I am with it after reading it's not illegal #It really puts into perspective how much we allow often arbitrary laws to regulate our own internal views #which in some cases makes sense #but in others it's frustrating to realize #just how easily your ideals can be swayed #but it's important to be aware of it too I think #so I'll mark this as a win in the personal growth column

[unopenablebox]

unfortunately those Cutting and Deep h3ather havril3sky ask polly "here's why you're lonely/here's the empathy failure holding you back" excerpts everyone loves to post

are just permanently recontextualized for me by her series of op-eds about how everyone in her family is an incomprehensible one-dimensional pod beast with completely unlovable preferences for things like "starbucks drinks" and "conversations about their lives", which she tolerates, with enormous difficulty, only through a sense of duty and a bunch of rationalizations about how actually it makes her sexier and cooler that she's willing to endure it

#like. i don't actually know enough about the typical content of one of her Actually You're Failing To Do This Empathetic Basic Mental Action #And That's Why You Have No Friends In Your Thirties and/or Are Constantly Beating Yourself Up For Things columns #because i'm a little generically allergic to that kind of thing #but the excerpts seemed pretty reasonable? sensible people i respect like them? the written content was always the kind of thing that seems #like something a reasonable person might form as a generalized observation based on their social experiences? #but uh. she DOES have an op ed about how listening to her husband tell her about the walk he went on is an experience she only gets through #by imagining that tolerating it makes her beautiful and feminine by contrast to his grizzled broken-down Man Nature #so i. feel like that should have some ramifications for her likely ability to do social modeling and give actually good advice #box opener

[girlstressed]

advice column: my roommate is boy obsessed and it's kind of driving me up the wall. she calls it "husband fever" (like baby fever) and this fine, whatever, to each their own, i support women's rights and wrongs, etc. but she won't stop trying to do the same for me. my guy friend ordered me sushi as a thank you for carrying him through a coding project and she basically kept doing a conversation equivalent of "ooooooooooo do you like him", like the shit they do in middle school. she kept asking me multiple questions like if i wanted to date him or if i thought he was cute (one no should suffice. like stop asking) and it's irritating. i (mostly) like my roommate and i tolerate it, but i can't stand when she doesn't listen to me.

i think the overarching issue is that i hate having to explain myself to people who are so obsessed with romance it's almost inconceivable for men and women to be friends if one of them isn't gay. am i in the wrong here?? i'm so sick of having to be on edge every time i try to talk about a friend that happens to be a dude. not only is is really amatonormative, i just think it's tacky to think of men as some strange separate entity that can only ever be useful for dating/marriage/sex. they're just people. he's my friend. there is nothing else to it.

omg i get you SO BAD anon men and women can definitely be friends without there being an ounce of romance between them even if neither of them is gay! idk why but there are so many people i know that act like everytime i spend time with a guy it's romantic

i'm sure your friend means well (we all have that one matchmaker friend) but i can definitely understand her questions grating on you...i think honestly the best course of action is to be assertive and let her know very very clearly that you don't have interest in the sushi guy (and/or any of your other guy friends)—something along the lines of "hey, on a serious note i really don't like when you insinuate that there's something going on between me and xyz. i also dont feel this way about any of my guy friends, and it makes me uncomfortable when you water our relationship down to something that's leading to a romantic one" -> i get not wanting to be confrontational (i also am not a big fan of confrontation) but i sincerely believe your roommate doesn't hate you enough to continue something you explicitly say you dislike, my best guess is that rn she kind of sees it as teasing but if you make your boundaries clear she wont have issues with not crossing them :)

on the topic of every relationship you have with the opposite gender being like, perceived as romantic...i hate this!!! some of my most fulfilling and closest relationships are with women but equally so men—when i say that i dont have romantic feelings for my female best friend ppl will be way more inclined into believing it than if i said the same about my male best friend, yk? i think like you said it comes down to "having a man" kind of being seen as a status symbol rather than an actual person + the rise of "my boy best friend" content on tiktok and ig...all we can do is keep our intentions clean, my friend, and carry on!

#on a personal note i went to the gym with my male friend and two of my friends who saw us immediately cornered me later...rolled my eyes so #hard they went into the back of my head #like . they mean well and i love them however trust me when i say there is no romance there #anyways hope this works for u anon rooting for u and all ur platonic relationships!!! :DDD #advice column

[cicadas]

Yall ever think about how the percentage sign % is just the divided sign ÷ turned on the side kinda? BecAUSE I DO !!! But I took statistics too many times so I'm like probably completely insane at this point. Understanding averages and percentages and probability and shit does something to a mf

#personal #by the way i dont know anything about math lawl #im so bad at math #just because i took a class or four? meaningless #forgotten #quartile range who? #data set where? #variables what? #look man just put that damn number in a column or row i aint got time fo it

[sangfielle]

the main thing serious reading and my way are doing for me is that they're making me want to make a little in universe news podcast for price of power

#i would. be. writing. i dont have voice actors. so i guess the thing to do would be to just make news columns actually #personal

[uselessgaywhovian]

... is it bad that i've gone from never caring about what kind of plane i was going to be on but now feel the need to check if the airline i've been booked on has boeings

#personal #between that whole thing with the max planes built with murder software #and the doors coming off planes mid-flight #i'm just not feeling boeing right now #honestly i don't know if airbus is better #but i tell you what #i haven't seen a documentary about how it took two (2) brand new planes crashing for them to take accountability lately #so we'll put that tick in the 'pro airbus' column

[ilikedetectives]

.

#damn the people I'm working w are showing they're asses #one had a meeting behind my back despite they were discussing the spreadsheet I worked on #and gave me a “re-read the manual” as a feedback when I asked what is wrong #the irony is when I got his supposedly “corrected” work it was wrong #like “use last year's data instead of this year” kinda wrong #and deleted an entire column and worksheet which were needed for the calculation formula 🤡 #when I brought it up diplomatically “oh I didn't know we changed the formula” #i got the boomer's equivalent of teehee must have grabbed the wrong ver by “mistake” #binch that's TEN WORKBOOKS IN A ROW HOW???? #no wonder he couldn't tell me exactly what was wrong because 100% he didn't know neither lmao #wonder who needs to re-read the manual 🤡 #cuz guess who caught the mistake and fixed them? ME good thing I checked his work #time to look around cuz this environment is most toxic (if not hostile) I've been in yikes #I feel like they're setting me up so they can blame me for their mistakes #not to mention other micromanaging shit #anywho #colin rants #personal

[thepoisonroom]

why are people so concerned with policing women's leg hair like bro if you're seeing leg hairs she is not wearing pants. get with it!!!

#still baffled and upset by thia advice column letter i read #from a lesbian who wanted to know how she could say on her dating profiles she didn't date people who don't shave body hair #like i GUESS but what the hell #personal nonsense #sorry for seeing leg hair and immediately being like 😳😳😳

[silenthillbunni]

being irritable is not a good combo w how apps keep auto refreshing and scrolling to the top... it makes me feel such homicidal rage i want to hit smth ._.

#like when im on netflix and click on a title then add it to my list. it scrolls back up to the top. #so i always gotta scroll down to the column i was on and then scroll thru it to the place i was in #it's sooooo annoying it makes me so angryyyyyy #also hate tumblr and pinterest who auto refresh and scroll to the top constantly #the person who invented this needs to..... cease to exist and be punished in hell

[rovermcfly]

I've decided social media is pretty bad for my mental health actually* and logged out of all of them (including tumblr!) on my phone (never used apps so didn't have to uninstall any) and can only access them on my laptop. this automatically limits the time I spend on these platforms and aside from tumblr I've also essentially removed all content from them anyway using ublock origin so I can only use them to check on what my friends are doing and then leave again

y'all won't believe how many hours there are in a day

*more specifically sort of the combination of "I can't stop scrolling once I'm there bc I simply lack this self control and need to not have easy access to avoid it" and the stuff ppl usually talk about like rage farming and misinformation and doomscrolling bad news and both watching and committing digital self harm

#the second I discovered that ublock origin lets you remove ANYTHING you want from a website I was unstoppable #I open instagram and it's a blank page #I open twitter and it's a blank page #I open twitch and it's a blank page #tumblr is also only a column of content in the center and the settings and messages buttons at the top and nothing else #I am doing so many fucking crosswords yall #rover rambles #for the record I had a serious problem with spending nearly every single waking hour on my phone #so I'm not saying this to imply everyone should be doing this #but I personally need drastic measures like this #and I'm still not quite where I want to be but made an important shift at least

[andyridgeley]

tagged by @digenova to share 9 of my favorite books, which is always fun but difficult!! i shared some of my absolute favs and books i've read recently that i really love!

tagging @splendiferous-bitch @michael-sheens @steveharringtton @lucy-sky @howiehamlin @andrew3garfield if ya want or if anyone else wants to go for it!

#personal thingys #the way the middle column i just read within the last 2 weeks skalamnfkfjna I LOVED THEM ALL OK!!! #i own 8 of these and would reread 7 of them CONSTANTLY