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berzahoes · 4 months

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i love you | johnny knoxville

summary: just some moments with johnny and the reader

an: yes i’m watching jackass 🫶🏼

PARTY BOY

johnny was busy taking a shower while you did your skin care routine. the jackass crew had made it to the uk and everyone was tired. you were more annoyed than tired, it seemed like every little thing annoyed you from waiting too long for the elevator to johnny’s snoring on the plane.

“did you call your mom? she wanted you to call when we land,” johnny said as he washed his body. he got no response so he slightly moved the curtain so he could look at you. “did you hear me?”

you hummed and continued washing your face. “yeah, call my mom although i’m pretty sure she won’t pick up since, you know, time zones.”

“are you going to be mad at me during the whole trip? i said sorry.”

you rolled your eyes and continued washing your face. while checking in, the receptionist of the hotel had said some flirty comments to johnny right in front of you and what did johnny do? he laughed it off then later when you were unpacking a little, he explained that he laughed because he was he didn’t know how to respond.

“come on, i know i was an asshole-” he saw the side eye you gave him. “i am an asshole, but this asshole loves you and you’re not getting rid you me that easily. you’re stuck with me, baby.”

“you’re still an asshole.” you mumble, grabbing a towel to dry your face.

then someone had knocked on the door, you still didn’t move from your spot, which johnny noticed. “you’re not getting the door, are you?”

“you’re so smart, philip.” you replied. through the mirror, you saw him sigh and carefully got out of the shower. you were being nice so you handed him a small towel.

“who is it?” johnny asked as he opened the door then saw that it was chris and tried to close the door.

“it’s party boy!” chris forced his way into the bathroom where he saw you in your sweat pants and bralette. “let’s party!” he danced around you then got into the shower with johnny, who couldn’t stop laughing.

“why did i open the door?” johnny laughed.

you joined their laughter as you saw the camera crew enter as well. “i’m not even tired anymore.” you watched as chris danced in the shower. after a while, you forgot you were even mad.

SILVER FOXVILLE

the filming of ‘jackass forever’ had to stop due to a virus so everyone had to stay home. you liked it since you could finally spend more time with johnny. you two did many things to get rid of your boredom like puzzles, bake, watch movies, sleep, swim in your pool and even more sleep.

during quarantine, johnny had decided to stop dyeing his hair. you didn’t think much of it since at some point everyone starts going gray, but once you saw johnny with his silver hair, you couldn’t keep your hands off of it.

when filming for the movie resumed, johnny was now sporting a full gray hair look and you loved it. in the mornings, you would run your hands through his hair, compliment him, play with it. he just looked even better.

when you and johnny arrived to the jackass forever set, all eyes were on him. jeff immediately let out the loudest laugh when he saw johnny.

“who are you and what have you done with knoxville?” jeff chuckled then he turned to you. “you’re dating an old man.“

“jeff, i can literally see your grays from here.”

GQ COUPLES QUIZ

“hi everyone! we are here to take the couple’s quiz.” you smiled. you and johnny were sat across from each other with flash cards in your hands with questions written on them. after many years of knowing, dating and marriage, you seemed pretty confident.

“okay, we actually did a game of rock, paper, scissors and johnny won so he goes first.” you explained.

“sorry sweetheart, you suck at that game, but i love you. okay, what is my middle name? we’re starting off easy.” johnny said.

without thinking, you immediately answer. “john. if i say your full name, do i get bonus points?”

“we can make up our own rules. i’ll give ‘em to you. but only because i love you.”

“love you too, philip john clapp.”

“next question, you watch snl right? have i ever hosted saturday night live?” johnny asked.

“no?” you weren’t sure if johnny was even allowed to be on snl, you were convinced all the jackass guys were banned.

“you’re breaking my heart, babe. you were there! system of a down performed and you watched them perform.” johnny scoffed.

“no, i remember system of a down but i don’t remember you hosting if i’m being honest. congratulations, i guess.” you laughed as johnny rolled his eyes.

“i really hope you get the next questions right. what was my number in the royal rumble match? again, you were there.”

“easy, number nine,” you confidently said. “nine is my lucky number.”

“really? mines sixty nine.”

#jackass #jackass x reader #jackass imagine #johnny knoxville fluff #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville imagine #johnny knoxville #jackass fanfic #jackass fan fiction

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milawritesstuff · 1 year

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Hiii Mila I have a pedri imagine request…idk if you e seen those like couples quiz each other videos on YouTube (I know Kylie Jenner & Travis Scott did one) but can you do one where they’re quizzing pedri & the reader & one of the questions is what his pregame ritual is & it’s that he has to have sex before each match but they’re both too shy to answer until gavi exposes them & tells the story of how pedri once came with red scratches on his back

A/N: thank you for this request, I think it’s really cute. Hope you like it.

•••

You were waiting for Pedri to pick you up. You were supposed to shoot a video for GQ today with him. You heard a knock on the door, it was him. You opened the door and he stood there. -Ready?- he asked. You nodded and gave him a kiss trying to pull him into your apartment.

-Do we absolutely have to leave right now?- you ask him. He smiles into the kiss. -Gavi’s waiting for us in the car and you know we can’t leave kids in the car by themselves for long.- you laughed. -Fine.-

You stepped into Pedri’s car and sat next to him, Gavi in the backseat. -Hola guapa.- he said. You smiled at him. -Hola Pablito, how was practice?- He looked over at Pedri. -It was fine except your boyfriend took it too far and hit me on the face with the ball.- Pedri began to laugh. -It was an accident Gavi, I already told you.-

The rest of the drive was full of complaining from Gavi and laughing from all three of you. When you arrived to the interview they were confused Gavi was with the two of you.

-Pedri, Y/N… we are filming the couple’s quiz today and you brought Gavi, are you guys trying to tell us something?- asked the interviewer. You looked over at Gavi and shook your head. -No, no.- Pedri chimed in. -We got out of practice late and I didn’t have time to drop him off at home.-

Gavi smiled. -I’m just a spectator today. Although I am always with them so I could probably answer all of these questions for them.- you smacked him on the chest. -Pablito how about you just sit back and keep your mouth shut?- He walked backwards and sat down on a chair behind the camera.

-You can tell me if they’re lying.- said the interviewer to Gavi. You and Pedri just laughed and sat down.

They started to record and you two sat there smiling at each other. You introduced the video and began with the questions.

-We will start with an easy one, what’s my favorite color?- you looked at Pedri. He raised his shoulders. -Simple, black.- you smiled. -Correct.-

-Okay, next. What was your first match that I attended?- you began to think as well as Pedri. You heard Gavi from behind the camera. -Ooh I know it.- he said. -I remember how excited Pedri was that day because she was there.- Pedri began to laugh. -Pablo, don’t spill all my secrets.- you giggled.

Pedri took a deep breathe and began to answer. -It was against Atleti, one of the closed games. They only allowed us to invite 3 people and they all had to quarantine.- you smiled.

-I had to quarantine alone in a hotel room for four days before being allowed in.-

-I told him that’s how we knew you liked him because I wouldn’t quarantine for anyone.- added Gavi which caused you to laugh and roll your eyes.

Pedri took over some of the questions. -What’s my favorite fruit?- you laughed. -Mister Platano, I think we all know it.- everyone began to laugh as Pedri pouted. You leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. -Eres un tonto.- you said.

Pedri looked at the next card and you could see him reading it to himself. He smirked and looked up at you. -Come on Pedri, ask the question.-

He smiled and cleared his throat. -Do I have any pregame rituals?- he raised his eyebrow as he asked. -Uhm.- You said biting your lower lip. You looked at Pedri quizzingly. He laughed and put his head down. -Vamos Y/N give me your answer.-

-Well, you call me right before you go out to the tunnel before every match.- you smile at him. He nods and smiles back accepting your response.

You let out a big sigh of relief knowing you’re almost done and the one tough question is over. That is before Pedri clears his throat about to ask the next question and you hear Gavi interrupt.

-They lied.-

You turn over and shoot him a deadly look. But Gavi doesn’t care. -They have to have sex before every match or Pedri is out of it.- Pedri puts his face in his hands and begins to laugh. You can feel your cheeks turning bright red.

-You know how I found out?- Asked Gavi.

-Did you walk in on them?- Asked the interviewer. Gavi shook his head. -I’ve walked in on them but not that time.-

-Pablo!- you yell at him.

-I found out because Pedri was late to pick me up. I swore we were going to get fined that day. Luckily we didn’t. But when we were changing I noticed Pedri had red scratches on his back. Perfectly placed if you know what I mean.-

-Oh my god, this is so embarrassing.- you add. -Can we not add that to the video?-

-So it’s true?- said the interviewer.

-Of course it’s true. I can tell if they don’t do it because Pedri gets really mad out on the field and he’s a nervous wreck.-

Finally Pedri chimed in. -She calms me down. What can I say?- he smiles over at you.

-Oh and Y/N.- the interviewer added. -We won’t include that in the final video. But I’m sorry honey, all of that was filmed during the live we were recording.-

You put your face in your hands, your cheeks were burning with embarrassment.

TAG LIST:

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#pedri gonzalez #pedri #pedri imagine #pedri x reader #pablo gavi #pedri is so damn hot #pedro gonzalez #pablo gavira #gavi fluff #gavi imagine #pedri blurb #pedri x you #pedri requests #gavi imagines #gavi blurb

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aziraphales-library · 18 days

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Hello!! :D i hope you're doing well

Do you guys have any good recs for fics set in lockdown? I have a preference for fluff and zero smut.

Thanks in advance :) <3

Hi! We have #good omens lockdown, #awake the snake, and #covid-19 tags, so check those out. Here are more lockdown fics...

starved for (your) company by elloquial (T)

He’s calling Crowley before he can fret about consequences and implications for another moment. The first three rings, which he listens to with dread mounting in his core, are torturous. But then Crowley answers, and his surly (awake!) voice is such a relief that Aziraphale skips hello entirely. “Would you like to do zooms with me?” (in which Aziraphale sets up nightly zoom meetings to keep Crowley from hibernating, and eventually re-evaluates his stance on quarantining together)

May I have your number? by Crowletto (G)

Aziraphale's student job has its perks. He certainly meets interesting people. (This is a Human-AU set in Lockdown, please mind the tags!)

nature is healing (or something like that, anyhow) by nightbloomingcereus (T)

Well. If Aziraphale could be stubborn, so could Crowley. He didn’t need Aziraphale, or his bookshop, dammit. He was going to take a nap, exactly like he’d said he would, and he wasn’t going to get up again until the world, and a certain frustrating angel, stopped being such a downer. It was the perfect plan. Or it would have been, had he still had his bloody bed in his bloody flat in bloody fucking Mayfair. Or, the one where Crowley takes his three-year-long pandemic nap in his plant-filled Bentley.

The Last Four Years by juliet, Laura Shapiro (T)

After the nightingale sang, before a naked archangel arrives in Soho – four years passed. What happened during that time?

Better With You by WordsInTimeAndSpace (M)

Due to a petty feud between their respective department heads, Crowley and Aziraphale have been hiding their friendship for months. When they’re suddenly stuck in lockdown amidst a pandemic, Crowley is not coping well. Thankfully, Aziraphale is there for him - but their changing relationship means that keeping secrets from their bosses only becomes more of a challenge.

Fancy Patter on the Telephone by HotCrossPigeon (G)

A series of telephone conversations between Aziraphale and Crowley during the Lockdown. They get steadily more desperate and ridiculous as the weeks go on. Featuring a moping demon, a teasing angel, a pub quiz, an explosion, extraordinary amounts of alcohol, a bubble bath, awkward flirting, several love confessions... and an ill-conceived bet on who can last the longest without seeing the other. What could possibly go wrong?

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens lockdown #covid-19 #mod d

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blood-mocha-latte · 5 months

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so i made a quiz a minute back and there was a question about my guinea pigs and a lot of people. followed up on that and wanted to know more lmao. AND if you've been here for even .5 seconds you are aware that i. love talking about my pets so let's get into it

i. Perdita Sue

name: -- perdita for 101 Dalmations (since she's black and white) -- sue for Sue Hendrickson (a world renowned paleontologist)

fun fact: as stated by the quiz she fucking. loves her water bottle. when she was a baby we were worried she had a blockage in her throat because she kept slamming it back against the wall of the hutch REALLY LOUDLY and her sister didn't do that. so we took her to the vet. nothings wrong. maybe it was just a thing when she was a baby no. no she just really fucking loves her water bottle and likes making it really loud

worst experience: she cut her paw open on a piece of hay when she was about a year and a half old and was bleeding SO FUCKING MUCH i almost missed a class final to stay home with her. she was fine lol

best experience: she likes to shake hands. i have a photo of this somewhere. if you put your hand down in the hutch she'll run over and put both her paws in your palm so you can "shake" them it's the funniest fucking thing

ii. Mei Rosalind

name: -- mei for my fiancee's middle name lmao (lenora-mei) -- rosalind for Rosalind Franklin (biochemist who discovered the structure of dna)

fun fact: again as in the quiz, she likes sunbeams. a whole fuckin' lot. like, too much. it was about noon and i walked into the room they're in and she was on her back. lil paws in the air. and i thought she was Fucking Dead but no. she was just sunbathing

worst experience: she once sneezed in my mouth and i thought i was gonna die

best experience: when i was studying for my organic chem final she slept on my desk the whole time and just generally kept me from Flipping The Desk and giving up lmao

iii. Meg Helen

name: -- meg for meg jay (clinical psychologist on adult development) -- helen for. helen keller. bc she's blind

fun fact: the only guinea pig we got from a pet store, who we weren't actually going to get. but she was curled up in the corner of a too small cage and was obviously miserable, so we ended up biting the bullet and adopting her. took her to the vet, vet told us she is The Most Blind Animal she has ever had the pleasure of meeting. take that as you will

worst experience: we got her when she was just a little over a week old and she had to be quarantined from the others. we ended up having to switch off and sit with her at night because she'd cry the whole time and she has the saddest fucking wheek

best experience: she has the croakiest voice of all time. we're pretty sure it's the same genetic inbreeding problems that made her blind, but it doesn't hurt her and it sounds Hilarious. when she finally got out of her quarantine hutch and to her real one (which is 45 feet squared lmao) she didn't stop popcorning and squeaking for fifteen minutes. i cried my fiancee cried i took a video and sent it to my parents and they cried it was a day

iv. Piper Florence

name: -- piper for the pied piper of war because she's the leader and the others follow after her like she's the. the pied piper -- florence for florence nightingale because again if you've been here for more than .5 seconds you know that i am a. healthcare bitch

fun fact: once jumped out of the hutch and then just stood in the middle of the room because she didn't know where to go. is Best Friends with meg and shows her where everything is in the hutch when we have to change it/replace objects. she does not like sue and ignores her. just doesn't like her there's nothing to be done

worst experience: we thought she had ovarian cancer about a year ago because she was lethargic/sick/swollen etc for a long period of time. tracking her poop what she ate all of that etc etc. turns out that she had a cyst which was still a fucking nightmare, but hey at least it wasn't cancer

best experience: when my fiancée got really sick a few years back piper would just sit on her chest and purr. it was cute and needed and she's fuckin BEEN there man she's basically our dog

anyways that's it. congratulations if you got through it all lmao. i also have four cats (i am. not good at fostering) and a dog so maybe i'll make a post about them idk. ok bye

#rie talks #actually have a post kinda like this in my drafts that's my fiancees experiences watching band of brothers because she is So Fucking Funny #anyways nothing else to tag this?#guinea pigs #i guess #ok bye lol

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min-hikari · 1 year

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REACTION

another guy hit on you

arcade date

asking them to sit on your lap

big breast

bittersweet song

boss

calling them bro

cautious with money

clingy

clingy by minologistt

cuddling positions

dodging their kiss

they’re drunk

you’re drunk and he gets mad

enjoy you stealing his clothes

favorite place to kiss you

financial troubles

finding you asleep with their bt21 plushie

finds out you have a tattoo

getting flustered

getting jealous and confessing

giving them one last chance

gq couples quiz

highschool boyfriend

his photo as your lock screen

how they say i love you

their ideal type (maknae line, hyung line)

idol, you have a past together

in quarantine

jealous

jealousy

he likes your friend (part 2)

losing weight

love language

not forgiving him easily

not realizing someone is flirting with you

not saying i love u back

pda

peppering your face with kisses

pet being protective

petnames

pulling you into their lap

realizing that they love you (hyung line)

refusing cuddles

sitting on their lap in the car

sleeping positions & habits with you

snow day

s/o on the red carpet or performance

soft spot for u

someone asking, "when's the wedding?"

someone flirts with you

staring at you

taking care of you whilst you’re sick

tatted s/o

thinking you’re not their type

touchy with each other

types of kisses

a video of you two goes viral

waking them up at 3am to get food

watching a horror movie

wearing a bonnet

you’re an idol and he finds sleeping tablets

you’re an idol and you faint

#bts #reaction #bts reactions

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dreamergirlatpaddock · 3 months

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FAVS 16 CHARLES LECLERC 3.0

Some of my favorite stories, writers you are amazing

monaco does that to you love hurts go sports friends don’t kiss friends all i want is you ❀ cl16 Bracelet Making infrunami GQ COUPLES QUIZ you can hear it in the silence you are in love you're my best friend !!! this is what it feels like !!! yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool modern day romeo and juliet i'd like to hang out with you for my whole life always, evermore, even after and still it's golden like daylight ishq wala love sometimes all i think about is you you got me thinking nonsense & light as a feather handsome, you're a mansion with a view i'd never walk cornelia street again & you're the best in my life and i lost you and at every table, i'll save you a seat give you my wild, give you a child i'm glad whenever i can share her laughter we caught that holiday glee i only see daylight the first one you and me got a whole lotta history Sleepless in Monaco Home Is Where The Heart Is let's just drive POP ROCKETS soft (dog) launch quarantine secret admin the people's princess hollywood rumors Met Gala Interview home To Fall in Love & To Confess Your Love & To Stay In Love a paddock day always us first spill your guts just us endgame bewitched IT WAS ENCHANTING TO MEET YOU instagram x bereal Charles Leclerc X Y/N lost in your current like a priceless wine perfurme high infidelity Wedding to Remember runaway bride love notes always be here

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onceandfutureheartache · 1 year

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y’all 2020 was bad but damn was the merlin community fed. like the dale mccready archives? bradley james hosting a merlin quiz with the knights from his insane merlin memorabilia wall he created? bradley also doing an interview with a merlin podcast? (destiny and chicken my beloved) hell destiny and chicken in general? alexander vlahos’ having a live tweet along watching a merlin ep? FED I TELL YOU (like yeah i know everyone was bored during quarantine but GOD BLESS)

#when i say i adore the cast and crew I FUCKING MEAN IT #they haven’t forgotten about us or merlin and that makes me go even more insane.#GAHHH IM UNWELL #i’m listening to destiny and chicken nonstop and then BAM BRADLEY JAMES INTERVIEW??? THE FUCK??? i was screaming #cannot recommend their podcast enough #bbc merlin #destinyandchicken #anyways in case y’all wanted some more merlin content and haven’t seen these

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tinogiehd · 6 months

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i make everyone take my stupid omegaverse quiz before entering the omegaverse quarantine

fawk you guys are riverclan but the river is representative of slick

#aya asks

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phanofclouds · 9 months

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you said encouraging more fe / indy quizzes- do you have any you recommend or favorite ones? :D

sure!! this is my favorite formula e one

and my favorite indy quiz!

#fe #indy #quiz

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far-side-skies · 2 years

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Storm Hawks Writing Workshop Entry

*kicks the door down* IT'S HERE!!! Holy shit this took too long!

Here's my entry for @grimm-the-6th's writing workshop. A day in the life oneshot focused on my character Quiz Pharo.

I had a lot of fun with this despite the roadblocks. It's been ages since I last wrote proper fanfic and it shows, but hey, this got the words flowing and I'm looking forward to the next one.

Word Count - 1531

“Good morning, dearest.”

The day started, like most, with a mug of coffee and a kiss from his wife. A slow and easy morning of feeding the birds in his aviary breakfast before going to make some for himself. Quiz Pharo considered himself to be a man of simple needs.

“How was your father this week?” he asked over eggs and toast. Patricias was leaning on the kitchen counter opposite him, contentedly sipping on a blood bag.

“He’s doing well,” Patricias remarked. “A little restless, but who isn’t at his age?”

“Of course,” Quiz nodded, knowing that with his father-in-law, ‘restless’ could mean anything from wanting to hold a spontaneous fencing tournament to wanting to feast on every mortal he could get his teeth into for the next few nights.

“I also got a gift for you,” Patricias purred sweetly.

“Did you now?” Quiz asked in mock surprise. It wasn’t surprising at all; Patricias loved to share the finer things in life with him. But they did both love to play up the theatrics. “Oh darling, you shouldn’t have.”

The merb grinned and sauntered round towards him, “But I wanted to, sweetness. And I couldn’t resist when I saw these. You’ve been working so hard, and they go so perfectly with your eyes.”

“You’re torturing me with the suspense, love.”

Chuckling, Patricias drew out the black jewellery box she’d been hiding behind her back. It was leather, with a crest embossed into the middle in gold to match the clasps, and she opened it to reveal a set of shimmering red pearls. A necklace, bracelet, earrings and a brooch all gleamed up at him.

Quiz’s eyes went wide, “Are these..?”

“Blood pearls from Aquinos, yes,” Patricias crooned, “From father’s newest contact in the Mareenas. I’d like to see these in your family’s collection.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“And they’ll be beautiful on you.”

“I’m sure; you have excellent taste. I look forward to trying them on, but first; you need some sleep.”

“But darling,” Patricias protested.

“We have dinner reservations,” Quiz reminded her. He gently took the box from her hands and kissed her. “I like seeing you look your best, but I love seeing you feel your best first and foremost. I’ll wear these tonight, now go and rest.”

Patricias relented and drew back. “Okay then. You have a good morning now.”

“Sweet dreams. I’ll see you tonight.”

There was a smile on Quiz’s face as he watched Patricias leave for bed. When she was gone, he tidied up the kitchen before going back to the aviary and going through to one of the side rooms. One with a door emblazoned with Cyclonia’s insignia.

The room he entered was much like any other ‘quarantine’ room in which he kept any new arrivals to the aviary, however built for just a single occupant. One large, floor-to-ceiling enclosure decked out in live flora, branches and feeding platforms. Rushing water from the faux-rock fountains filled the air with a peaceful aura, and bright early morning sunlight filtered in through the greenhouse-glass ceiling.

“It is quite lovely here, isn’t it?” he asked, smiling lightly, “You know, sometimes even I never want to leave.”

The response he got came in the form of a baneful screech, “Piss off!”

Quiz dropped the smile. “Come on now. There’s no need for that language. We’re civilised gentlemen, are we not?”

The bird in centre enclosure – a comically small, chubby buzzard with heavy white patterning across its face. How fitting – scowled at him with beady brown eyes, feathers fluffed up in agitation.

“Whatever you’ve done to me, undo it right now!” it shouted, and clumsily flapped towards Quiz to rattle the mesh barrier with its beak. It moved like it didn’t quite know what to do with its own body. “Turn me back, this is humiliating!”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that yet, Hermund,” Quiz said, shaking his head. “Not until you tell me what your squadmates are planning with your latest shift in tactics this past week.”

“So you can send that information off to Cyclonia? Fat chance,” Hermund spat. Quiz was only half-listening, more interested in how a Blusterian accent somehow managed to translate across into the pee-yow! shrieks of a common buzzard. Or perhaps that was just how his own mind translated the angry calls. “What kind of interrogation is this anyway?”

“One I’m sure you’d much prefer to the ‘conventional’ forms,” Quiz said without looking at his ‘guest’. “Believe me, there’s far worse people you could’ve been sent to than me. This might be ‘humiliating’, but at least it’s temporary. Provided you tell me what I’m after.”

“I’m not telling you anything.”

“I hear that a lot. It’s astounding how often it’s proven false.”

Hermund scowled at him and grit his beak shut. Mottled wings drew up to his ears, making Quiz raise an eyebrow.

“You’re pouting?” he asked. “Really?”

“No!”

“Quite unbecoming for the eldest member of the Buff Buzzards, no?”

“I’m not pouting!”

“If you say so. I’m afraid I do have to get going, there’s other guests I need to take care of. Don’t forget to eat your food, it’s right there.”

The man turned bird seemed surprised at those words. He hadn’t noticed Quiz sliding a tray of eggs and meat into the enclosure through a sliding panel.

“You’re feeding me?” he asked.

“Of course,” Quiz said, shrugging like it was completely obvious. “This isn’t a torture chamber. I treat all my residents the same; I feed them, house them, make sure they’re able to live comfortably for the duration of their stay. Think of it like a hotel.”

“Hotels let their guests leave whenever they want.”

“Hotels also take payment. Yours just so happens to be battle tactics.”

“Get bent, Cyclonian scum.”

He couldn’t help but laugh, “Been there, done that. I’ll be back later with dinner. Do make yourself at home. Or don’t.”

With that, he left the room, locking the door firmly behind him.

------

It was mid-afternoon when Quiz came back to Hermund’s room with more food for the man. Said buzzard was currently perched on a branch in the middle of the enclosure. He’d clearly been waiting for him.

“Are you going to cooperate?” Quiz asked, though he got the feeling Hermund wouldn’t. Not today. “The sooner you tell me what I want, the sooner you can go home.”

“Who are you?” Hermund demanded.

Quiz shrugged, “It was worth a shot. Here, I have dinner.”

Yellow eyes scowled at him while he slid the food into the enclosure.

“Y’know, not everyone can talk to birds,” the buzzard said.

“I know. That’s why Cyclonia hires my services.”

“And they say someone who could was responsible for Cyclonia’s invasion of Merbia.”

At that, Quiz couldn’t help but smile with a knowing glint in his eyes.

“Did they now? And who’s ‘they’?”

“Some merbs. Refugees who got a good long look at the culprit.” Hermund’s eyes narrowed in thought. “It was you, wasn’t it? You were the one who leaked the intel on Merbia’s defences.”

“I knew you’d figure it out quickly Hermund,” Quiz congratulated, giving the bird some mocking applause. “Your file did say you were one of the sharpest of your squad.”

“Why?” Hermund asked, voice dripping with venom. “Merbia’s done nothing to anyone, they’re too scared. What did you have to gain from selling them out?”

“Cyclonia paid for it,” Quiz replied with a shrug. “A much better price than whatever the Free Atmos would’ve offered, too. Do you think this place runs on appreciation and well-wishes? I worked hard to make this aviary into a sanctuary and a learning space.”

“For Cyclonia?”

“Yes, for Cyclonia.”

Hermund was pacing now; waddling back and forth along the perch with confused agitation. Quiz could practically hear the gears turning in his head.

“You’ve got an avian tongue,” he muttered. “You turned me into this.”

“A common buzzard. I found it fitting.”

“Hush! There’s only one group of people capable of that, and their means to do so was stolen by…”

The bird stopped and slowly turned to look at Quiz, slackjawed. There was practically an audible ‘click!’ as the pieces fell into place for him.

“You. You’re that thieving bastard prince from Amazonia!”

“Rude, but not incorrect,” Quiz replied with a nod. Hermund gave an enraged screech and flung himself at the metal barrier between them both.

“Treacherous scumbag! All this because you lost a throne?!”

“Oh I never wanted the throne. Though I’m a little concerned about who’s next in line for it. My sister is quite unpleasant.”

“You’re sick.”

“I think you’ll find I’m perfectly healthy.”

“…Why tell me this?” Hermund growled, “Why let me figure this out? It won’t get me to tell you anything.”

“Oh but it will,” Quiz said with an innocent smile. “See, now you’re at a fork in the path. You can tell me nothing and selflessly protect your squadron, but at the cost of your freedom, your humanity and the chance to tell the Buzzards what they’re up against. Or you can cave in and trade information for your freedom.”

Hermund didn’t say a word.

“I’ll let you think about it. Goodnight, Hermund.”

----

Did I make Hermund up on the fly for this? Yes. Yes I did. Was it fun? Absolutely, and now my brain is taking off with the desire to flesh him out some more.

Also yes! Quiz and Patricias (my dracula parrot character) are married! I don't think I ever revealed that here on Tumblr.

#storm hawks #storm hawks writing workshop #storm hawks fanfic #storm hawks fic #quiz pharo #patricias fulgidum

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