#questioning oneself

[theaologies]

Emily and Wendell deciding they are life partners whether they’re romantic or not before they’re romantic at all and completely on accident without thinking about it whatsoever just because they’re absolutely fascinated by one another is SOOOOOOOOO good

#emily wilde’s map of the otherlands #Emily Wilde #emily wilde’s encyclopaedia of faeries #like it’s the!!!! #fact that neither one of them ever for a moment questions being without the other #the accidental extension of oneself onto another without question #now THIS is soulmates

[shepherds-of-haven]

as an enchanter main i’m a little insulted the villains keep being enchanters thurl was one thing but sibella?? that’s crossing the line (lighthearted)

But think of the parallelism! Your MC can be the light to their darkness!

#it's because MC has presumably proved their physical strength and battle prowess with the Faceless Lords #so the next frontier is questions of free will - mind control - truth and deception - autonomy and treachery - #fears of being used against oneself and against loved ones #when you become the strongest player your biggest threat is yourself!! #etc etc #😁 #Shepherds of Haven #spoilers #heavy #chapter 9 #alpha build #alpha preview

[scarefox]

How do enigmas even know that they are enigmas?

What if Charlie is one without knowing?

#absolute normal question to ask oneself at 5am #pit babe the series #omegaverse

[fellhellion]

one last blast of mig insanity tonight ❤️

#me white knuckling the sink: hey guys I have lots of normal and sane thoughts about Miguel and his relationship w fear and knowing oneself #anyways fuck. that whiteout colour when Sims has been shot is so fucking good. u can see Miguel Knows what he’s been truly party to #why did u contrast Xina/Miguel with lesbians? because they’re also lesbians next question #tunes talks 2099 #sm2099 #Miguel O’Hara #migedits

[vermillioncrown]

@fishyio replied to your post “so, what's up with korvin's parents? they're just...”:

COMPLETELY relate with the whole asian culture+background thing. had to stop a few times when reading this post bc i felt so Understood. i think that's what makes your SIs so compelling and engaging for me– because i can relate deeply to them and their behaviours etc. that and that your writing is fantastic :) other than that it's really interesting to see the thought you put into your SIs. thanks for the post!

​writing for all the "underrepresented" nd diaspora asians in fandom lol ✌✌

in seriousness: thank you for your compliments, i'm happy that what i write feels resonant to readers. "relatability" isn't the end all be all, as many writing quips and advice will state, but a lot of those statements are made in this vacuum of an assumed default. and that assumed default is usually (in western fandom) an acultural whiteness influenced by christian norms.

thus, to people not of that default and grew up needing to blend in with it (east asians being model minorities and having an "easier time," sort of), "relatability" is an oasis, a grounding point, reorientation. it's something others will take for granted until they don't have it; it's something i couldn't find so i made my own, and i'm happy it lead you to my writing.

#redglyphs #fishyio #growing up on SIOC writing and now that i literally don't care enough to be circumspect #so many time i read a thing and just point ''ah. white.'' #which is especially jarring bc many of the canon cultures are Not White #so the buy-in has an extra bit of tax imposed for me that didn't seem to exist for other readers #which left me feeling even more alienated in a hobby that should be an escape w/ equality imposed via anonymity #and because culture is something that's very implicit and baked into oneself #it's difficult to articulate or question what's causing dissonance #opinionated verm

[mumblelard]

while i was out this morning, the air smelled like cupcakes baking down the street, then marshmallows burning, a burn barrel gone blue but not yet out, the hearth still standing in a house still smouldering

#thrown into life #questions are a burden to others #answers a prison for oneself #ancestral citrus cultivars #terror management theory #goodnight moon #wormsign #chairs #memento mori #kitchen tables #russian prison tattoos #i like the sound of glass when it smashes #and that would fix everything #pandemic era #fourth summer

[lowdowndandy]

it seems that more people just look at this site than like interact with it. like A Lot more. I wonder if this introduction of polls is one way to prove how many humans are actually on the site compared to bots? I don't think the bots can vote.

#vibrating into eternity #spam bots #polls #thoughts #questions to ask oneself

[riverwithoutbanks]

Cas and hunger and love and how he cannot differentiate except because when he was under Famine influence, the body prevailed (hunger as in food), but the confused mind/grace wanted reciprocation/concordance (hunger as in desire— him asking Dean whether he’s affected).

It’s not even dominance (‘you should show me some respect’ vs Godstiel who doesn’t seem to care for Dean on his knees). He’s infinite so it only stands to reason that he’d try to consume, but he’s not a leviathan. He feels hunger, but he won’t even try to bite.

He always seem so sorrowful until he makes it clear that he is a warrior, that he can destroy and kill — but then he’s playing along with the Winchesters.

He has seen most of history, the fish leaving the ocean, yet he’s been lobotomised again and again, which is almost comical. There is so much to him, and yet we see basically none of it. And it suffices. Because he’s trapped in a loop of rebellion and wisdom and forgetting. Until he isn’t. He’s infinity reduced to a singular point and that’s breaking my mind.

#rambling #didn’t even try to make it coherent #Castiel #nothing of value here #honestly that’s partly why I find destiel so compelling #you have this fucking angel #that is so complex and represents so many existential questions #and then that fucking guy from Kansas #a state I couldn’t even place on a map #who should be nothing #who represents none of those great questions and theme #but is the incarnation and amalgamation of so many experiences and questions that plague me everyday #who is both a goal and a cautionary tale #just some bloke #Castiel wants the best possible outcome; Dean just wants the least bad one #uuuUuuUuhhhhuGggggguuugggh #that’s the noise my brain is making rn #could go on forever #materiality vs spirituality #losing oneself in belief of a greater power vs losing oneself in belief of your own strength/weakness #spn #Dean Winchester

[cozymochi]

“but cozy why would u wanna watch all of those didney movies” GOoD QUESTION, i know we all know this but it was a mix of “well i already saw majority of these, i might as well finish it off”, personal stuff, and at it’s most primal form: curiosity

then as it went on it started to evolve into some quasi-critical thinkpiece on how a single entity managed to just ….be. And it got so extra i can’t even fully articulate what I mean at all without hand gestures

but that gets into heavy shit, i just wanted to see just so i could say i did. It’s not much of a bragging right at all but, i don’t regret it either

#cozy texts #nobody asked this question im just answering it anyway #…ANOTHER REASON and this is minuscule and petty but #ytbers bug me sometimes. #im just like ‘u dont know what ur talking about’ #YKNOW LOL #and twitter users. #what is this a self discipine on trying to think for oneself #HECK EVEN THO I DID THIS WITH SOMEONE ELSE we dont even have 1:1 thoughts on each movie #Ironically if i even knew how to talk and edit this could’ve been one of those 9 hour video essay type things.

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

15 Question, 15 People

Thanks for the tag @martsonmars ! I love this kind of stuff. But first…

Fifteen people??? Ok. I can do this. I tried to do a quick check to see if any of you have done it already, but I also didn’t try too hard: @ic3-que3n @onepintobean @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @thewholelemon @alexalexinii @palimpsessed @skeedelvee @youarenevertooold @agni-ashes @cutestkilla @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @bookish-bogwitch @theimpossibledemon @whogaveyoupermission

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope! My mom wanted a name that sounded good in both English and Spanish. She looked at a map for inspiration and saw the Sierra Madre Occidental range in Mexico and the Sierra Nevada range in California and went "aha!"

Sierra has never been a super popular name, at least not spelled my way, and she'd never heard it before, so it was perfect! Imagine her dismay when a few years later we discovered another Sierra, one year older, living a couple streets over in our tiny neighborhood. I also went to high school with one other Sierra. The mid-nineties was "Sierra's" time to shine, apparently.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday

3. Do you have kids?

Nope

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I’ve recently realized I don’t use it as often as I think I do, but I think it’s still pretty often.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I think it’s their expression, particularly if they are smiling or not. If they are, what kind of smile is it? Is it telling me they don’t want to be here/don’t want to be talking to me? If they aren’t, do they look upset/frustrated or just busy or distracted?

6. What’s your eye color?

I think I’ve settled on grey. It changes drastically depending on what I’m wearing. Sometimes I look and they’re super blue. Other times I’m like wow those are so obviously green. Most of the time I’m like “wtf is this color?” My mom used to say they were “blue, like the ocean,” but I think we need to specify that it’s the ocean during a storm. A little grey, a little green, a little blue. Depends on which ocean and which storm.

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings! I like some scary movies, but really I’m all about a happy ending.

8. Any special talents?

Ummmmm…. Mr. Brilla says my special talent is dropping stuff I had a solid hold on a second ago.

9. Where were you born?

Texas

10. What are your hobbies?

I’m a hobby collector. I try stuff and drop them all the time. I lean toward crafty or creative hobbies, like embroidery and cross stitch, sewing, drawing, writing, painting minis. I also love to dance (social and ballroom— partner dances) and sing (by myself in the car/shower…), and read.

11. Do you have any pets?

A chihuahua mix (mostly chihuahua) named Dulce!

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I played soccer for 2 seasons when I was 7 because I liked being on a team and wearing a uniform, but I hated practice and games and, you know, playing soccer. I also tried gymnastics for a day and cried. I’ve never been a sports kid.

I do social dancing now, which still ain’t competitive, but it could be, ya know?

13. How tall are you?

5’2”

14. Favorite subject at school?

(American) schools try really hard to make interesting stuff really boring and hard. I think my favorite was Spanish because I already knew quite a bit and already loved the language and was very good at it from the start. It was easy and I got to learn more about something I already loved.

If school were better, I would have loved more subjects because I love learning, in general. I find history and social studies and cultural studies all absolutely fascinating. I also find sciences really interesting, as well, but the classes were so rough in school that they were never a favorite subject. Math had its moments, too, but again… not always the greatest teachers or curriculum. I love reading and was very good at essays, so English/lit were ok, but the books were soooo hit or miss for me.

15. Dream job?

My dream job would be part-time teaching a high school Computer Science class (and would throw in Spanish I, too!) and part-time software engineer at some sort of “tech-for-good” company working in something worthwhile and/or cool.

#tag game #15 questions #such mundane questions #but talking about oneself is so satisfying #someone is definitley attempting to use this for social engineering #and yet here I am doing it anyway

[machidielontheway]

[Image description : a filled template / chart labelled "Understand my ship in five minutes", with two characters sketchs and various infos in boxes, sliders, and silhouettes to fill, detailled in text under the cut. end ID]

[Link to the blank template]

✨ Understand my ship in 5 minutes : Ty and the Godkiller, early '23 edition ✨

Descriptions, additional details & explanations under the cut !

[Sketches] Ty is sketched in blue and all data about him is written / notched in blue. He has straight black hair nape-long, is wearing a fit open hoodie above a v-collared t-shirt, and has a smug and lightly condescending look looking at the viewer. The top of his head is touching the top of the square frame he's drawn in to indicate how tall he is. Sha'an is sketched in orange and all data about him is in orange. He has very short tousled hair, is wearing a too-big-for-him closed hoodie, and has a neutral-to-frowny expression as he looks downard and to the side.

[Data] Name : "Ty" (not actually his name) Height : Tall Age : around 21 (at the beginning of the story) Gender : Guy Sexuality : Bisexual Name : Sha'an Height : Short Age : around 19 (at the beginning of the story) Gender : Guy (gender apathetic) Sexuality : [citation needed]

Height difference : around one head, one head and a half Age difference : around three years

[Sliders] Big / little spoon : Ty likes to hug or have an arm over the shoulders of people's he's close with, so he's a strong big spoon contender. Sha'an has been touch-starved since he was a kid and has anxiety ; human warmth and weight surrounding him calms him and makes him sleep better => little spoon coded.

Lends / borrows clothes : Ty is voluntold as a lender of clothes, as Miya - Ty's adoptive sister / mentor - has clothed Sha'an in all his forgotten cast-offs and teenage garments. Sha'an accepts and wear whatever Miya gives him.

Use / doesn't use pet names : Sha'an doesn't even know what a pet name is, and would probably mistake the concept a little. Ty uses pet names to tease, play, or annoy, but wouldn't use any with the people he actually like. However he is partial to nicknames.

Introverted / extroverted * : (*meaning used here is "socially, what gives them energy or what use it) Ty needs his personal space at time to sort through things, as well as let his mask down and breath from the persona he uses at school or work or politic situations. But otherwise he likes and needs to be with his close ones around the clock, or he becomes quickly bored and restless. He would count as extroverted. For Sha'an, every social situation - no matter how many persons are present - is draining as he is constantly checking and reviewing input and calculating what is the "right" output. This ways he is introverted. However, alone time is not great for him either if he's not in nature, as he does not know how to relax and take care of himself. Quiet parallel play with Miya (and then with Ty as well, farther down in the story) is something he rather likes.

Affection through words / through actions : Ty uses both, but the depths of it will always be shown through actions. Words he uses for casual, friendly affection. Sha'an uses neither because he barely knows how to feel and recognise affection, let alone show it.

Confesses first / waits for confession : Easy one there : none of them ever confess ! at least, not in the sense of a "romantic confession" as we're used to. Screams about the bugs / squashes bugs with a shoe : They both squashes bugs with their shoes. Sha'an is technically a wild child who ran barefoot in the forest, and Ty a street urchin who slept in abandonned places. Bugs are not a problem.

Drives the car / can't drive lol : If they were in a world where cars exist, Ty would confidently road-trip with his friends or sister. Sha'an could be taught how to operate a car but would have zero knowledge of even the simplest roadsign and would be a danger to everybody himself included.

Can't cook for shit / makes dinner : Sha'an can't cook for shit as he never had to / never had a choice to learn or observe. He's fast at peeling and mincing though as it's a chore he did for a long time when he was a child / teen. Ty is reasonnably good at cooking, for his own sake because Miya is quite mediocre at it and generally do not care what she's eating as long as it's filling. Ty has taken upon himself to cook their meals whenever they're together since he learned how to in the House.

Dislikes PDA / loves PDA : Ty likes PDA because he loves doing whatever he wants wherever he wants. Skinship is one of his favourite ways to show his affection, as well as his possessiveness when he indulges in it. Sha'an, at the beginning of the story, doesn't register skin touch as conveyor of affection, and is left trying to infer the meaning each time, which doesn't help his anxiety. Way later in the story, he appreciates the touch but doesn't care about the public display part.

Overprotective / chill going : Ty is quite chill going, unless it comes to Miya and her hidden tendencies to carry out dangerous missions without what Ty deems as proper back-up. Ty has been banned from being "overprotective" of Miya until he can actually best Miya in hand-to-hand and armed combat, which hasn't stopped him griping even after he loses (which is every time). Sha'an is neither, because the idea that he could be in a position to say something about somebody's else choices is not a thing at the moment.

Has more relationship sexual experience / has NO relationship experience : Sha'an has the zeroest experience in sexual or relationship experience. [shrek "they don't even have dental" meme vibe :] He doesn't even know what friendship is ! Ty has a LOT of sexual experience, because he is a horny young adult and before that had been a horny teenager for a while. However he's not interested, at least for now, in romantic relantionships and is not pursuing them.

[Body silhouettes filled with colors (blue for Ty, orange for Sha'an)] Horny level : Ty filled in blue from toe to shoulders. This dude is HORNY horny. Sha'an silhouette is cut in two in a before / after way, and only his feet up to the knee is filled in orange in the 'after' half. I fucked up there cause it's actually much more than what he actually is, even wayyy down the line story wise. Sha'an has a long road ahead of him to reconnect with his body, and it's a good part of his arc. But even with that, he's just not that horny. Awkwardness level : Ty's feet are underlined in blue but that's all. This boy is very suave in social situations, have great physical grace, and just happens to not be perfect cause he's human and also still young. Sha'an's filled up to the knees : he's not actually awkward himself ; he juste makes situations or conversations awkward now that he's not evolving in the environnement he was raised for, where the etiquette, rules, and expected behaviours are completely different. Possessive level : Ty filled up to his hips. Ty is not particularly possessive about things, unless it's his. For actual things, it means his bed at the House and his room at Miya's, his daggers, and his necklace herited from Miya (who herself got it from her own mentor). For people it means Miya, and Sha'an after a long while. Sha'an filled up half of his feet. He is used to not own things for various reasons, and has learned to just let it go / to not see things as "his". He does however get the side possessiveness of 'this was given to me as a particular gift and by respect to this person i will not let it be taken back by anyone else not legitimate'.

And whoop whoop we're done ! As always with oc's, everything here is subject to changes, and also depends on when you are in the story ; but i'm still happy with this as of now :D (yes it says early '23 edition and was posted in december of 2023. i'm just that slow at doing creative things, but that's ok !)

#machdraws #ocniverse #ty and the godkiller #ty & the godkiller #oc's #hello this are my blorbos ! #they were born nearly one year ago ! #i wasn't planning to finish this tonight but this makes me happy actually #very glad about ty's smug look which is just. so very him. #sha'an however does not actually look like that he's much more square faced #but whatever it's sketches i made in literally two minutes like 8 months ago so i'm still bery happy #if you have questions / are curious please do not hesitate to ask ! #and if not it's ok as well i sure discovered the pleasure of doing something for oneself lol #it's the first time i have oc's with an actual story and stuff... generally i just have one or two melodramatics scene i play in loop #now i have MANY dramatic scenes !! #(actually it's mostly domestic stuff. and landscapes.) #have lot of other things planned / i want to share (or just do for me to look at it again) so i hope there'll be more in the soon future ! #also i don't like to write because Perfectionnism but this was. kinda nice. i really liked it rereading #alted #thank you transcriber !

[sotvrna]

had a conversation with my sister about gender that was so nice. she talked about her journey figuring out that while she doesn’t care for womanhood socially, she has learned to like it more now by looking at it more spiritually, and that she had a similar journey with her name, thought of changing it at some point and then found a new love for it and an attachment to its meaning.

#everyone should question their gender #even if only to find out they vibe with it after all! #it's such a great step in understanding oneself and how you fit socially

[mosnet]

that post about eggs and anti-intellectualism makes me mad because if op made it about politics it could be a more potent analogy i think, but people don't know how to cook eggs because of a "lack of curiosity" or laziness that's just repackaging ableism again. sometimes people are just cognitively disabled and can't learn vital life skills thru googling them

#yes that post was triggering i feel better about it now but it's a bad take i think. op needed to either be extremely more clear about #what type of people they were talking about (to avoid fallout harming poor and/or disabled people which is what happened) or they needed to #choose something else people are ''uncurious'' about that wasn't a life skill like cooking for oneself #they opened up so much ableism in the comments. ''cooking is easy just google it'' ''maybe you would feel better if you cooked a snack'' #and also shaming people (saying they should be ''embarrassed'') for not knowing how to cook is not revolutionary or progressive #it is in fact the most normie shit imaginable #kind of analogous to that post thats like ''thinking that being mean to someone outside of an axis of oppression is ok is freak behavior'' #when the people being targeted with that behavior Are the freaks in question and it is actually very extremely normalized to act like that #whatever. i love you freaks i love you disabled and/or poor people who only eat fast food i love you everyone who can't or won't cook

[resignedseraph]

I think whether a religion (as in an individual person’s or community’s practice of a religion) is harmful or not can be pretty easily indicated by the question, “Could one become independent from this religion and still be fully loved, supported, and accepted by their family, community, and/or state?”

I don’t think this can be applied to a whole religion, but if the answer is consistently “No,” then that’s a sign that there needs to be change

#This isn’t extremely thought out but it seems like a good basic litmus #Ideally I’d want some follow-up questions about whether needs are being met/sense of worth/whether that practice includes harming #oneself or others (whether it’s phrased like that or not) etc #but I don’t think there’s any straightforward way to approach this #Esrah talks #ex religious #ex christian #only tagging those since those are what apply but ex religious people/people with religious trauma/complicated relationships #with any religion are ok to interact with this #it’s vague on purpose

[tomshiv]

call me delusional but i believe tomshiv is endgame no matter what

#tom is gonna burn every bridge #and then he's gonna take a nap #and shiv is gonna leave her pregnancy test out for him to find #and he's gonna ask a question and she's going to be like. so what if i am #and they're gonna take a breather #and realize that well. there it is #a permanent bound that can't be simplified #it can't be anything less than what it is #it can't be just an open marriage (which is fine because if someone cheats its not bad. no risk) #it can't just be this small thing #its just tom #we have a deal #but i can't look you in the eye when i do see other people #and i get jealous about the idea of models and positions #it's not just money #like ratting her out to her dad #it's not just survival by oneself #what's sustainable as a team? #luckily for them strategizing is their foreplay #and in that way it wouldn't surprise me if their revolt against the theme of the show #against their own history #would be driving to the clinic together #no succession #this is it this is all it will ever be #shiv doesnt have to be a mother #tom doesn't get tethered in save from his love to her #and they get right back to their plan #AGAINNNN i am delusional #but bear in mind that a few things i wrote for them DID end up becoming canon so. #maybe im crazy in a tapped in way

[gayomensenergy]

someday maybe i’ll make a post about crowley and david tennant’s body language acting choices and gullibility and latching on to other people as stability when you have memory ocd/missing memories and how deeply i relate to and identify with the mistakes and choices crowley makes as a character. note to self

#i’m too sleepy bc my cat woke me up at 6am #good omens #meta #the things we do when we only know how to love with our whole chest and then some #when we know we should be afraid and also that our fear radar is usually wrong #the misguided idea that loving someone and living for them #are both synonymous and both kind #misunderstanding being punished for asking questions #as a directive to punish oneself into perfection #to punish oneself into loving Enough #ugh #projecting? me? never