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jeyneofpoole · 2 months

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asoiaf dash simulator again

🌼 night-of-flowerz-girl

the blatant misinformation on this waebsyte is crazyyyy. guys. loras tyrell is NOT DEAD that is literally lannister propaganda 😭 please check your sources omg how do you think his family feels???

🛡️ fieldmaiden

margaery tyrell can dry her tears on the finest cloth of gold for all i care have we not established that the tyrells are smallfolk panderers who only talk about serf issues to keep us placated and working their fields? stand UP. anyways tyrelloverparty forever hope the burns hurt 🙏

🍃 greenseeeerr

omfg stop lusting after the children of the forest they are literally minor coded 😭😭😭 what is wrong with you people!!!!!

💄 andalsandal

hey op what the fuck does this mean

🐻 moremont

me and my big hairy bear husband have three beautiful daughters and i couldn’t be happier

🐻 moremont

THE ANIMAL.

⚡️dondarriugh

omfg beric is DEAD??????

⚡️ dondarriugh

ok there are some conflicting reports in my inbox hold on

⚡️ dondarriugh

oh no he’s actually dead. fly high king!!!!!

⚡️ dondarriugh

wait what????

⚡️ dondarriugh

WHAT IS HAPPENING

⛳️ brotherhood-without-banners-official

Lord Dondarrion is hale and hearty, thanks be to the Lord of Light ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

⚡️ dondarriugh

HELLO??????

🛖 small-folk-big-ass

save me bowl of brown…… bowl of brown…… bowl of brown save me…….

🛖 small-folk-big-ass

hopital

🐉 rhaeeenyraaa

the revisionist history on here is fucking insaneeeee. cersei lannister is NOT maegor come again guys let’s use our critical thinking skills ok?????

🚬 sourleef

cersei lannister is a nepo baby who dicks down her twin brother on the regular and squeezes out evil kids with weak jawlines like it’s a sport. let’s not act like she’s some kind of win for wench suffrage she’s a fucking dictatorial monarch

🍁 weirdwood

wait don’t you mean her twin brother is dicking her down?????

🚬 sourleef

i know what i said.

🐕 ramsay-bitch-imagines

IMAGINE…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’re Ramsay’s favorite dog, and he wants to reward you after a successful hunt.

WARNING: DEAD DRAGON DO NOT EAT!!!!!DON’T LIKE, DON’T READ!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🐋 s4ltw1fe

who’s going to tell lady asha that she doesn’t have to date those foppish little boys as community service. don’t worry queen EYE see your caerybaenor……

👤 reynesofcastamere-deactivated-3738372920

lmao that blonde little cuck is NOT getting his gold back

👤 tarbeckhall-deactivated-4748392038383

we should hook up for rebellion lol. what’s he even gonna do about it?

🦁 hear-me-roar

hey guys.

🧼 barmaid

oh my god this is THE post

🍺 pintofale

holy shit i never thought i’d see this outside of illuminated vellum screenshots

🪡 tall-tailor

this post is a fucking graveyard

#twirls hair cutely heyyyy #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #loras tyrell #margaery tyrell #ramsay bolton #beric dondarrion #cersei lannister #jaime lannister #tywin lannister #asha greyjoy #dash simulator

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millysastroblog · 1 year

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RANDOM ASTRO NOTES 💋💄

💄Hello, guys I’m back with a simple decent Astro observation. So yeah , noo dragging and arguments over here. If u want drama and tea you probably will have to wait for a while 😅!

Anyways enjoy yourself as always ;)

💋 Uranus in the 5th house is an underrated creative placement , they come up with the wildest creative ideas ever 💡

💋 Moon air sign in the 4th house ppl love to communicate with their family , these are people who constantly need to call and message their loved ones📞

💋7th house stelliums don’t feel comfortable being all on their own.

💋Moon conjunct Saturn , Saturn in the 4th house look like Stone cold , heartless bitches, but they are not. They hide any kind of vulnerable emotions to protect themselves from criticism, abandonment and being misunderstood . It’s an protective shield that they build from young adolescents . they close their hearts , so nobody can enter in it to use their vulnerability against them. # past childhood trauma # pls give them a hug 🤗

💋moon , Venus Aquarius ,11th house love to be around their friends ,they feel emotionally connected to them , sooooo better not fuck with their friends!!!! ( not in a sexual way, you get what I mean right?? Yeah!)

💋Jupiter in the 2nd and 6th tend to have a huge appetites.

💋Sun square moon can make for indecisive individuals.

💋Sun conjunct moon Moon on the other hand can be very decisive and strong headed . Not always in a negative way , but what they feel or say is something they’ll rarely change for anybody.

💋 Neptune is the 11th use technology , phone, social media as escapism.

💋Neptune in the 7th , Venus- Neptune , Venus in Pisces use relationships as escapism,focus is heavily directed to love life. Forgetting anything and everything when In love 😍!

💋Mercury in Sagittarius, Mercury- Jupiter aspects can cut your soul with their bluntness. #Gordon Ramsay

💋 Venus in 4th, Jupiter in the 4th house can come from a pretty, good, wealthy, stable family’s.

💋 Jupiter in the 12th house are spiritualy connected and protected by the divine ,since birth . They naturally love to practice spiritual stuff like meditation, yoga, tarot, etc.

💋Aries , Gemini, Capricorn ,Scorpio are the most disliked zodiac signs in astrology !

💋Moon in the 4th house if good aspected feel a close connection towards their mummy . 😚

💋Sun in the 4th house are very loyal to their mum.

💋Moon in Aquarius/ 11th house are somehow everybody’s bestie 🦋✌🏽.

💋Moon in the 12th house ppl need isolation and distance from ppl more than everything.

💋Aries , Taurus , Scorpios, Sagittarius ppl can not be controlled or told what to do !

💋 Mars in the 10th house if negatively aspected can argue and fight with their parents, bosses people who have power over them , they hate to be controlled and told what to do , troublemaker for rebelling structures and rules.

💋Mars/ Uranus in the 1st are generally chaotic troublemakers, rebelling against everything and anything that comes their way.

💋Pluto in the 3rd /11th , Lilith in the 3rd/11th house could have been, badly bullied when younger have ppl spitting on them ,cutting their hair, just awful things happening to them # protect these babies 😣😢!!

💋 Uranus in the 1st, 4th,7th, 10th,11th tend to feel weird , unique, different from others .

💋Pluto in the 11th have very profound intense close friendships, they love or hate their friends with all their heart, calling and checking up on them, telling dark hidden secrets to each other, being ride or die friends for one another. When I die I’ll take care of ur family type of friendships, strong, deep sexual friendships ( fwb) situations if connected to the 7th house ruler or Venus !!!

💋Pluto in the 6th house are either very organized, punctual, ocd , clean freak or the complet opposite having a chaotic room, chaotic schedule, doing everything or nothing at the moment , extreme daily living to the point of burn out, exhaustion or even sickness.

💋Venus -Jupiter = over shopping, spending, buying.

💋Venus-Saturn= hoarding money, stingy, observing Bank out daily, making plans on how to increase income.

💋Mercury in Capricorn have an interesting tone of voice, when they speak people tend to quietly listen to what they have to say. Good in arguments. They just can demanding respect because of how serious and engaged they are in a conversation. Business minded 🫰🏽💵

💋Pluto in the 3rd / Mercury - Pluto voices are deeeepp, intense,loud just so intriguing and addictive to listen to, especially the men omg they have the most seductive voices. 🥵

💋Chiron, Neptune in the 3rd might have siblings or classmates who make fun of how they speak, not listening to what they have to say, ignoring them or not believing what comes out their moth.

💋Moon in the 3rd house can be very emotionally attached to their siblings, always communicating and spending lots of time with them.

💋Sun conjunct Neptune are kind, empathetic , sensitive and intuitive souls just like Pisces Sun !

💋Chiron in the 1st/ 10th house don’t like pictures taken of them or being filmed, very self conscious about how they are perceive by others.

💋 Capricorn Rising / Saturn in the 1st are waaaayyy grown before their actual time. These ppl can fake their whole existence based on how old they look, entering in clubs at literally the age of 15 , Early bloomers ! #apperance

💋Taurus Rising/Sagittarius/ Libra is a placement that usually indicates having a big ass, wide hips, and strong big things 🍑👀!

Thx for reading 💕

•~Milly~•

#astro notes #astro community #astro observations #astro placements #astro posts #astrology #astroloji #astroblr #astrology asteroids #writing #funny stuff #astro love #astro #astro predictions

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mrsdarkandyandere7 · 7 months

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Unlucky

Pairing: Dark Ramsay Bolton x (female) Reader

SUMMARY: Sadly you lose your baby. But what’s even worse is that it’s Ramsay’s baby.

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

WARNINGS: Miscarriage; Violence; Abusive Marriage; Threats.

Please, reblog and give me feedback.

Also this is the only angry Ramsay gif I could find 😅 hope you guys like it, it's a bit too dark.

“There were some…complications, my lord.”

Ramsay looks at you, eyes darting towards your covered middle. Your hands grip the bed sheet and you gulp as fear runs through you.

The agony of losing a child is defeated by the fear of whatever the future holds for you.

That’s what marriage with Ramsay resulted in. Nothing but fear and despair.

"The babe? Is it fine? What happened?” Ramsay inquires the maester, genuine concern displayed in his face.

The maester glances at you, his face falling into a bow, and you do the same, avoiding Ramsay’s eyes. The excruciating pain in your middle worsens with the panic you feel, tears starting to flood your eyes.

The silence perpetuates.

“No. No!” you close your eyes, small sobs escaping you upon Ramsay’s frustration. His voice growing in volume until it cracks, desperate howls of agony as he mourns over your dead child.

Your eyes opened in a fright as fingers painfully dig into your cheeks. Ramsay hovers over you, fury disfiguring his features.

“You…You little bitch! You did this.” He growls, eyes squinting with suspicion and your face snaps to the side with the force of his slap.

“You never wanted it, did you? My heir…my son.”

“No! Ramsay, please-“

Your pleas are rapidly interrupted with another smack, this one harsher. Your tongue tastes the blood of your torn lower lip but you know it’s only the beginning. His hand can go much harder than that.

“You killed my child, you vicious whore.” He accuses you, grabbing you by your hair, the sharp sting making you whimper.

The madness and rage that burns in his eyes terrifies you.

Ramsay spits in your face, the vigor of his hold increasing to the point that you can feel some of your roots giving up.

He gets closer and you stop your breathing.

“You’re going to suffer for this. When I’m done with you, you won’t even remember your own name. You’ll cry tears of blood and wish you were dead already.” he threatens you, his voice lowered to a whisper.

“And then you’re going to give me a child. A son. And another. And another. You’ll give me what I want. Over and over until you’re nothing more than my breeding bitch. That’s what you deserve.”

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bloodypeachblog · 1 year

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The Tumblr Yandere Quintet (Peter, Sunny Day Jack, John Doe, Damon, and Alan Orion) - my personal headcanons SFW + NSFW

(TW: blood, knives, death, cannibalism, anything associated with yanderes will most likely be here, so you've been warned)

A/N: btw they coexist in the same universe here. Like, let's say they all live together in a house with Y/N. Why? Because I can. Also this is all F!Reader, so yeah.

~♡~Peter~♡~

• He is shy boi when it comes to you. He acts confident, but underneath he is lowkey panicking.

• But towards others, he is brat. Just, burns and roasts up the wazoo. It's like the person flips the switch and activates his bitch mode.

• he loves playing video games, anything that seem interesting to him. He loves Dead by Daylight and his favorite role is the killer.

• True Crime Aficionado. He listens to podcasts, watches documentaries and movies and YouTube videos, he knows serial killers' stories like the back of his hand.

• he can cook and bake pretty well. He's not Gordon Ramsay levels of good, but he very rarely makes a bad dish. He likes to make food for you and watch your reactions to it.

• as a boyfriend, he is such a hopeless romantic. Roses, poems, serenades (he's not confident in his singing voice, so he plays songs that say whatever he's feeling and sends you the youtube link to listen to them, or just blaring them on the radio outside your window), the whole shebang. Of course, he's not obnoxious about it. Just enough to make you swoon.

• You guys know that old famous photo of a soldier kissing his girlfriend after WW2? Yeah, Peter loves doing that to you.

• pet names for you: Darling, Honey, Baby, Princess, Angel. Basic stuff.

♡NSFW♡

• he likes to nibble on your ear. He loves your reactions to it.

• guy is a straight-up pervert. He'd grope you when you're alone and make dirty jokes. You'd blush tomato red each time.

• angel on the streets, devil in the sheets. More like incubus in the sheets. He will find ways to make you moan his name.

• WHAT DAT TONGUE DO THO? OH LAWD Seriously, when he eats you out, you swear you can feel the very tip of his tongue brush against your cervix.

• favorite positions are missionary, mating press, and doggy style. But he likes oral too, both sides. He loves feeling your warm mouth taking in his cock, he struggles not to cum right then and there. He loves your taste, he can't get enough of it.

•some nights he can be gentle, other nights he'll fuck you into the dirt.

• his cock is about 5.6 inches, good thickness. Not the dick of the gods, but still something to brag about. Very pretty, too.

• Knifeplay? On you, depends on if you're into it or not. On him, FUCK YEAH. He fantasizes about you using a knife to write your name on his chest. Getting cut gives him the biggest hard-on, he'd be already dripping pre-cum. And if you lick the cuts? Oh, this man will cum immediately.

• Anal? Hell yeah. If you're okay with it, of course.

~~~~~

~♡~Damon~♡~

• He's more chill and laid back. Also he's emo. Because I said so.

• He likes listening to music. He likes any genre, but he tends to leans towards emo bands, stuff from Lapfox Trax, and metal. But you play a country song, he will destroy the radio or debate on murdering the artist.

• He wears his puffy coat almost 24/7. I say almost because he can't wear it in the shower. He loves to share it with you, the whole two person in one coat thing couples do.

• he's a cuddle bug, but won't admit it. If you tease him about it, he'll deny it and blush.

• he acts like a kuudere to others, if not annoyed. But when with you, he's so sweet. He'd give you his umbrella if it's raining and you didn't have one.

• Dude can cook, if you can call preparing instant ramen in the microwave 'cooking'.

• This guy loves meat and chewing on bones, so I bet he is also a secret cannibal, but only eats his victims. Gotta get rid of the bodies somehow! He has Peter help with preparing and cooking the meat, but Damon never says where he got it. Peter knows, though, but he don't really care.

• pet names for you: Babe, Sweetie, Lovely

♡NSFW♡

• Favorite positions are you on top, and the position where you're on your stomach and he has your arm behind your back.

• He is SO loving and gentle most of the time. He just wants to make sure you're getting enough. You will cum many times before he even finishes.

• but once in a while, expect to be sore in the morning, some bruises here and there from how much he grips you.

• master of seduction right here. He will whisper in your ear the sweetest yet dirtiest stuff, maybe some erotica limerick/sonnet he found online. His voice is so smooth it makes your core tingle just by hearing it.

• his dick is pretty average, but it's not a bad thing. It gets the job done just fine and you're not complaining.

• he does have a bondage fetish. He loves to tie you to the bed and on special occasions, like your birthday, he'll tie himself up and let you do whatever you want.

• Anal? Nah. Unless you beg for it.

• dude loves meat, so... he has a dolcett fetish. (Don't know what it is? ...eh google it, I'm not your mom. But don't say I didn't warn you.) He never acts on it really [he may eat people, but he doesn't get off to it because he feels like he'd be cheating on you], but his phone and laptop has a folder with hundreds of pics/videos of dolcett porn. Sort of a guily pleasure fetish, emphasis on the pleasure.

~~~~~

~♡~Alan~♡~

• He is such a good boi. Sweetest boi in the world. Pure sugar cookie.

• he is the outdoorsy guy, hunting, fishing, camping, all that stuff. Dude lives in the woods.

• he's the one who brings home fish or game for dinner. Preps it himself in the garage. Expect to find some deer or birds hanging from the ceiling.

• he's a pro at bonfires. Knows all the different ways to burn wood.

• Cooking? He prefers to grill or cook over a fire. He sometimes indulges in Damon's choice of meats, but no one ever tells him what it is. So don't tell him. It'd break the guy...

• he is such a sweetheart. Asking if you're feeling ok, if you need any help with anything, just so considerate. Heavy follower of PDA.

• unashamed cuddler. When you two go camping, he has you in the same sleeping bag as him.

• HUGE astrology and astronomy nerd. He will talk your ear off about the star constellations and tell you your horoscope of the day and if you are compatible with him or anyone else in the group.

• pet names: Doe-Eyes, darling, honey, dear, love

♡NSFW♡

• he's more on the gentler side of things. Perfect candidate for your first time. He will comfort you if it hurts and praise you so much.

• favorite positions are where he can look at you splayed out and writhing in pleasure. Mostly missionary.

• man is a pussy eater. On bad days, he gives you puppy dog eyes and asks to eat you out. With those eyes, you can't help but say yes.

• he likes to nibble and bite. Favorite place to bite is your thighs. He can leave marks, but never breaks skin. If he does, he'll stop and patch you up.

• his cock is the smallest in the group, but not in general. It's pretty average, nothing to complain about. He's a grower, not a shower. You secretly find his cock (both erect and flaccid) adorable, but you never say that to his face.

• does he do anal? Only if you ask him to, but even then, he's hesitant. He will make sure you're prepped well.

~~~~~

~♡~Jack~♡~

• the ray of sunshine in the group. Always trying to cheer people up.

• he loves to give hugs any time, any day, any where

• he is such an 80s retro nerd. He has a collection of games and movies from that era. Favorite movies are The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Favorite arcade game is Dragon's Lair or Pac-Man.

• definitely the fashionista of the group. He loves to create outfits for you to wear, making sure the colors compliment each other. He does this for the other guys too, but some are not sure how to feel about it.

• dude is the kind of guy who would wear a nun's halloween outfit as his costume for reals and awaken some people while wearing it. He makes any outfit sexy.

• Cooking? He prefers to bake. Champion at breakfasts. Favorite thing to make is blueberry pancakes.

• Himbo. Just. Pure grade-A himbo.

♡NSFW♡

• bruh, this man will be cheery and bubbly during the day, total daddy at night. Holy shit.

• he will show you that you are his and only his. He's only sharing you with the other guys just to make you happy.

• man's got a body like Adonis. He's got a chest where he got man tiddies.

• his cock? HOLY FUCK. He's the biggest out of the group and he has to force his way inside you sometimes (this is canon, I swear, I've seen that clip). It is downright BEAUTIFUL. You swear, he is some sort of god.

• his favorite positions are 1) where you're both on your sides, him behind you, lifting your leg so he can plow you while kissing your neck and whispering sweet nothings and dirty shit in your ear. And 2) that position where you're on your belly and he is behind you, raising your ass to him and he has your arm pinned behind your back.

• he is definitely heavy on the praise. He sees you as a goddess. Expect him to make you cum multiple times before he even gets inside you, just to make sure you're putty in his hands and ready for him.

• does he do anal? Fuck yeah he does. But he's very careful about it and only does it when you say it's ok.

~~~~~

~♡John♡~

• and then there's John.

• he's just a crack baby.

• sorry, John Doe stans. I just couldn't get that much on this guy.

• he's essentially the pet dog of the group. But it's fine, he's into that.

• he's pretty much a feral animal.

• is fueled by energy drinks and Doritos.

• he LOVES when Damon feeds him the special meat he's collected. He gobbles that shit up.

• dude snuggles you like a puppy. He can be cute and sweet when he wants to, don't get me wrong here. Puppies are always sweet and cute.

• hates baths. Y/N has to chain him to the tub in order to bathe him.

• usually stays in his room. He plays Call of Duty with Peter and loves to watch zombie movies. Favorite movie is Cannibal Holocaust and City of the Living Dead. Ruggero Deodato, Lucio Fulci, and George A Romero are his idols.

• Cooking? No idea how. Anything already prepared is perfect for him.

♡NSFW♡

• you into werewolf quality sex? John's your guy.

• expect tons of nail marks and bites all over you once you're done.

• man will make you bleed.

• some nights, the guys will hear you yell "CHILL THE FUCK OUT!!" from your bedroom.

• he will almost eat you alive, he's that feral.

• Does he do anal? Duh.

• favorite position is you up against the wall.

~~~~~

Yandere Quintet Dynamics

Peter & John Doe: Gaming buddies

Jack & Alan: Big bro (Jack), little bro (Alan)

Peter and Damon: Constant dick-measuring (metaphorically, of course) at first, but now partners in crime (oh they'll double-team ya). They like discussing true crime stuff, enough to where they have a podcast.

Damon & John Doe: Man (Damon) using dog (John Doe) to hide evidence.

Jack & Peter: total nerd buddies. Trivia night is horrible with them.

Jack & John Doe: kid being terrified of dogs (Jack), rabid dog (John Doe)

Alan & Peter: another big bro (Peter), little bro (Alan) dynamic.

Alan & John Doe: hunter (Alan) and his hunting dog (John Doe)

Jack & Damon: guy (Damon) is annoyed by the other guy (Jack), but secretly enjoys his company.

Damon & Alan: same deal as Damon and Jack, but Damon will kill anyone trying to hurt or be mean to Alan.

~~~~~

Aaaaand that's all she wrote! Hope you enjoyed this feast!

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moonlightchess · 9 months

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Oh my god I'm finally watching School of Chocolate (yes I know I'm late), and can we please just replace like 50% of celebrity chefs with Amaury Guichon and call it a day? I was a little worried to watch the show because I love him on tiktok and I didn't want to learn to hate him instead when I sat through 50 minutes of him screaming at students and calling them names, but! BUT!

Instead he is the kindest, warmest, most sincere person alive? Instead, I'm in love with him now because when Tyricia's caramel started to spill over and he walked over to her, I was holding my breath - but he approached her so gently and with such compassion and said, "Tyricia, I do not want you to be stressed out over this. Can I help you?" And then he did, like a good teacher should, even though these people were all chosen specifically because they're already accomplished pastry chefs. Gordon Ramsay would have DESTROYED this woman, probably while calling her a bitch, cow, stupid bimbo or any other manner of horrible things.

What's even better is his clear understanding of boundaries and consent. It's always "can I help you?" or "can I offer some advice?" He just seems like the most soothing human to be around, AND there's no way he doesn't smell constantly of melting chocolate and caramel so that is also a plus. He's so encouraging, even when his students fail he's over there lifting them back up like "we can do this, do not give up," in that darling accent, I JUST HAD TO YELL ABOUT HIM FOR A BIT OKAY BYE.

#amaury guichon #i LOVE #new crush unlocked #my reaction to him went from THIS FUCKING CHOCOLATE GUY AGAIN #to 😍😍😍

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lemonhemlock · 1 year

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Rhaenyra v Cersei: Battle of the Bastards

Lo' and behold, looks like I'm not done with bastardposting after all. For this piece, I would like to compare and contrast the two main situations that the general public has been exposed as far as the issue of illegitimate children is concerned within the ASOIAF-verse: Rhaenyra v Cersei.

The parallels are obvious. Rhaenyra has three bastard children, Cersei has three bastard children. Let's see how they handle it.

Rules

According to Westerosi law, bastards can't inherit. It doesn't matter if they're the husband's or the wife's, the King's or the Queen's. Children born out of wedlock to any spouse are explicitly excluded from the line of succession.

Only the King can legitimise bastards via a royal decree. Enough of these "Roose legitimized Ramsay" lies. It's patently untrue. Tommen legitimized Ramsay.

In order to be legitimised, the children in question first have to be declared bastards. You cannot legitimize trueborn children. You cannot secretly legitimise bastards. "Viserys claimed Rhaenyra's children were trueborn, ergo he implicitly legitimised them." No, he didn't. He never admitted they were bastards.

Why does this matter? Because it is unclear where legitimised bastards fall in the line of succession. If they maintain their place by birth order or if they are relegated to the back of the line, behind any and all other trueborn claimants.

There are no genetic tests available in Westeros. People have to prove adultery or rely on common sense.

1. Cersei has a distinct advantage over Rhaenyra, since her children look like her. She can very easily argue that they favour her, as their mother, and this is exactly what everyone believes for years, including Robert. Since Jaime is the male version of Cersei, Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella can look like no else. Catelyn's kids look like Catelyn and no one bats an eye. Only Arya and (to Catelyn's irritation) Jon look like Ned. However, Ned doesn't ever doubt his children are not his.

Rhaenyra's kids look nothing like Rhaenyra and nothing like Laenor. They, instead, share distinct physical traits with her sworn shield, a man seen very often in her presence. People are not idiots. There is no plausible deniability here. You can bet your bottom dollar that if Cersei's kids were, say, Dornish-looking, people would be calling her out for her bullshit.

There is a way you can reasonably get away with passing over your bastards as someone else's, but that is 100% not Rhaenyra's way. This is why Cersei is chilling in the Red Keep, living her best bad bitch life, while Rhaenyra is running away to Dragonstone when the rumours are nipping at her heels. They are not the same. There are no paternity rumours to quell Cersei's girlboss vibes. She is sly enough that even Robert is convinced he inseminated her (gross).

2. I'm not going to get into the intricacies of Ned Stark's Scooby-Doo, Hercule Poirot mystery plot of unraveling Cersei's misdeeds. Ned has his own beef with the Lannisters and is convinced they are up to no good. He investigates them like the meddling kid he is and comes away with a suspicion. He knows nothing (heh) for certain until Cersei verbally confirms it for him. yOuR bRoThEr Or YoUr lOvEr. boo!

Had Ned not been on the Lannister trail from the very beginning, a fair assumption can be made that he never even would have suspected anything untoward. He never questions the children's paternity when they visit in Winterfell.

Again, this is distinctly different from Rhaenyra's situation. No one believes Cersei's children are bastards,* whereas no one believes Rhaenyra's children are trueborn. Pretending otherwise is very, very strange.

*at the beginning of AGOT, at least

3. Robert claimed Joffrey all his life and specifically named him his son and heir in his will, under dictation, to Ned. In turn, Ned deliberately changed Robert's words and wrote them down as "my rightful heir".

This is a parallel to show!Alicent, who misunderstands Viserys' dying words and him naming his son Aegon as heir. If Alicent didn't have the right to muddle the King's meaning, then neither did Ned. However, no one in their right minds is arguing that Ned is a traitor to the Crown. I wonder why is that?

I have already pointed out the circular logic in arguing that Robert only said that because he didn't know the children weren't his.

4. So what does this mean? Can anyone just accuse anyone they don't like of being a bastard and, thus, endanger that person's entire social status?

No, of course not. But, unfortunately for Cersei, Ned and Stannis aren't just some randos in a tavern. Ned is the Hand of the King. Stannis is Lord of Dragonstone and on the Small Council. These two men have a stalwart reputation and are renowned for their obsession with justice, duty and, in Ned's case, honour.

If Ned Stark stands in front of the Iron Throne and proclaims Joffrey a bastard, risks his daughters' lives and literally ends up losing his head as a result of this,

if Stannis Baratheon sends letters throughout the realm claiming Cersei's children are illegitimate,

the people of Westeros are going to pay attention.

These two very important men using their public platform to denounce Joffrey and starting wars over this? Say what you will about them, but they are not oathbreakers and they are not liars. No, they don't come with DNA tests, but for a lot of Westerosi, this is enough. They believe it.

Is this foolproof? No, of course not! But it convinces enough people that they are willing to band together to support rival claimants to the throne, thus igniting the War of the Five Kings. Speaking of political headaches, this is a huge one!

That being said, while Cersei is playing in the Champions League, Rhaenyra is fighting for her life in the relegation zone. She doesn't even need a Ned or a Stannis to cast doubt on her because no one believes her kids are not bastards.

Moreover, Vaemond obviously parallels Ned in this story. He tells the truth in open court and loses his head for it. In the show, Daemon and Viserys play the same role as Joffrey. In the texts, Rhaenyra and Daemon are stand-ins for Joffrey. This is not meant to be a triumphant moment of girlbossery. This is an abuse of power and an act of terror.

All in all, I'm sorry to say, but Cersei wins this hands down. She is savvy enough in her choice of sperm donor and can maintain plausible deniability without looking like a goddamn clown and the entire circus to boot. She holds the capital and has access to all the emblems of state after Robert dies. In contrast, Rhaenyra is floundering across the Blackwater Bay, yelling at the dragon gargoyles that her children are trueborn.

Why is this issue important in the story?

a). No one has a problem with Jace being King.

If people had a problem with Joffrey being King, enough to go to war over it, it would be narratively inconsistent for them to just accept an obvious bastard as King. It would contradict the internal logic of the fictional world we're talking about. That's quite some level of suspension of disbelief just because some fans like Jace. This isn't about him being amiable or a good kid.

b). They're still Rhaenyra's sons / it's a Targaryen internal matter and concerns no one else / the concept of Jace being King doesn't personally affect anyone else, so why does anyone care?

Because it's the freaking law! The name of the crime Rhaenyra commits is high treason! Punishable by exile or death!

No, the crime is not adultery, it's not having bastard children, it's specifically putting said bastard children in line to the throne. In that, Rhaenyra is as guilty as Cersei is.

It absolutely does affect others, since Rhaenyra actively steals the inheritance of House Velaryon for Luke. How is that not a crime? I would even go so far as to say that Laenor and Corlys are complicit in it and should be punished as well.

Contrary to bafflingly-popular erroneous beliefs, the monarch can't just do whatever they want. Even in absolutist monarchies, the sovereign serves the vital social role of upholding the law and the rights of their subjects. Rhaenyra breaks said law by committing theft, murder, high treason and destabilizing the entire system of inheritance.

c) Rhaenyra breaks the social contract

Jock Locke argues for the "right of revolution" in the Second Treatise of Government. He writes that when the government acts against the interests of its citizens, then said citizens gain the right to overthrow it and replace it with an authority that will protect their interests.

I am not trying to impose 'progressive' understandings of the political process anachronistically, in a medieval fantasy; my thesis-statement is that we have already seen this concept at play within the world of ASOIAF: the Faith Militant uprising against Aenys I and Maegor due to their practices of incest and polygamy and Robert's Rebellion, caused by Rhaegar kidnapping a noble lady and Aerys II carrying out executions without due process. The people of Westeros are not unfamiliar with opposing monarchs who don't abide by the law.

The question of Rhaenyra having bastards is framed in a lot of commentary through the lens of her right as a woman to have extra-marital sex and not be demonised for it and to find fulfilling love within the constraints imposed on her by her station. While debating the personal individual freedom of women in a patriarchal feudal society is not to be side-lined, her fundamental fault is that she is demanding rights and exemptions for herself, while the rest of the country have to abide by an entirely different set of rules.

The laws of inheritance, as unjust as they may appear to our modern eyes, are in place to prevent crises of succession, violent conflicts or even large-scale wars from starting every time someone's estates are passed on. Illegitimate children suddenly gaining access to inheritances threatens the political and economical calculations that predicate many Westerosi marriages.

Imagine paying a handsome dowry for your daughter, just so her husband's bastard birthed by some high-born mistress to make use of his maternal family's resources and cheat your legitimate grandchildren out of theirs.

Imagine being married to some lord and now his random bastards threaten the inheritance of your lawful children. Because, hey, the Queen acts like this is fine! This is Catelyn Stark's worst nightmare.

You think you can just sue your husband? What a silly notion. You think you can sue the bastard claimants after your husband is dead? Tough luck, your liege lord may rule in their favour by taking a leaf out of Queen Rhaenyra's book. You think you can appeal to Queen Rhaenyra? How are you going to travel all the way to King's Landing? Good luck with that, maybe you're built different and don't die during this dangerous and expensive journey.

Is this fair for the illegitimate children? Hell no, but Rhaenyra and Viserys are not planning on reforming family law in any meaningful way, because they know what a hassle it would be and how much opposition it would meet!

It reeks of rights for me, but not for thee and I, for the life of me, don't understand the stronghold she has on the liberated feminist brigade.

and finally

d). The Green Coup is not dependent on the legitimacy of Rhaenyra's children.

No. But her committing high treason earns her an automatic disqualification from her right to rule, rendering her claim null and void.

#anti rhaenyra targaryen #cersei lannister #house of the dragon #asoiaf #anti team black #team green #stannis baratheon #hotd meta #bastardposting #ned stark #cersei is the one true queen of westeros don't let anybody tell u different #forgive me queen for dragging u thru the streets like this #u remain the no1 messiest baddest bitch in my heart

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visenyaism · 10 months

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group brainstorming session for hypothetical terrible house of the dragon where it is just a straight up adaptation of the weakest parts of fire and blood plus some hbo game of thrones frat bro fairy dust go. alicent is a one-dimensional evil bitch stepmother. rhaenyra is a feminist girlboss 9 year old but the real team black protagonist is jonsnow’d daemon targaryen. 8 different sex scenes of a woman getting railed from the back while crying. aegon ii protagonist of team green because the sexual violence is still there but the show can’t decide if that’s bad or kind of hot. inescapable rancid homophobia on the part of the show against laenor. viserys uses blackfyre at least once. aemond ramsay clone. nothingburger helaena. i could go on

#mysaria’s role remains unchanged they already did her terribly enough #hotd

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samantha-rae-velcher · 8 months

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LIGHTS OUT

Swaggersouls x Fem reader

Requested by: anon

Warnings: Smut, swearing, Swagger because he's a damn sexy man

A/n: 18+ NSFW! if you don't like the Warnings please don't read! PLEASE KEEP MY COMMENT SECTION AGGRESSION FREE!

Summary: The misfits are staying in an Airbnb, the lights go out and Swagger takes that as an opportunity to "play" with Y/n.

Tag: @youngcreatorlady @goldenstarofthunderclan

Love you guys ❤️

___

"So we just got to the Airbnb, I'm just laying on the couch waiting for everyone else to get settled in." Y/n said to the camera.

Fitz came over and flung himself over the back of the couch, landing next to her, with his legs rested on hers.

"We're gonna go make food over the fire, wanna come?" He asked.

"Is Ryan gonna be out there?"

"No he's upstairs."

"Then yes, I'll come."

The misfits were in a circle around the fire. Swagger, Mason, Matt, Jay, Toby, and Manuel were sitting in chairs. While Y/n, and Fitz were standing preparing dinner.

"Did you just drop that in the fuckin fire!?" Y/n called to Fitz, as she was headed back in to get another beer for herself and Mason.

"No." Fitz smiled and looked down at the camera.

Y/n came back out and handed a beer to Mason, sitting down next to Swaggers, her eyes caught sight of the wagyu steak.

"Cam." She said.

"Yes?"

"Why is Ryan's steak wet?"

"What on earth could mean?"

Y/n chuckled, rubbing her temples. "Cam?"

"Yes, darling."

"Did you drop the steak in the fire? Then washed it in the pool?"

Fitz smirked at Toby. "Now why would you think that?"

"I don't see any other source of water."

Fitz stayed quiet, so Y/n turned to Swagger.

"Did he?"

Eric nodded, his gaze falling from her eyes to her lips.

"Yeah, he did."

"Steak is done!" Fitz snatched the meat off the grill, throwing it on a plate just as it started raining.

The rest of them fallowed, leaving the onion over the fire. When they made it into the house, Cam set the plate down on the table while everyone else ran around grabbing random shit.

"We should make this look like some gourmet dish."

Jay brought over some rosemary, ketchup, and Doritos.

Cam slapped down the ketchup and dragged the spoon, making it look like some Gordon Ramsay type shit. He set some rosemary on the steak and sprinkled some crushed Doritos over the ketchup.

"We left the onion!" Toby yelled.

Swagger ran out the door. "I'll get it!"

Y/n fallowed quickly behind him.

"What do we grab it with?" He asked.

"Uhh, the tongs! The tongs! Use those bitches!" She yelled, pointing at the tongs that were laying on the fire pit. Swagger snatched them up, closing them around the onion that, for some fuckin reason had fire flickering on the top.

"Why is it on fire." She giggled as they made their way back into the house.

"Fire makes everything 5 stars."

The two came through the door, Eric set the onion down on the plate next to the steak, just as Ryan was entering the room. Y/n sat back in the kitchen, a shot of fireball in hand. Swagger came over, leaning against the counter with her. They clinked their glasses together, throwing them back and watching Ryan eat the pool washed steak.

Later that night when almost all the misfits were in bed, the lights went out. Y/n came down stairs, nearly taking a detour over the railing. She walked into the living room to see Toby playing the piano.

"That's so loud." She said. "Im surprised we don't have the police showing up about a noise complaint."

Toby laughed and stood up, motioning for Matt to fallow him with the camera.

"Why are the lights out?" Y/n asked.

"We don't know." Matt replied. "They just turned off."

She nodded, fallowing close behind the two.

"Do you guys know where the breaker box is?"

Both men shook their head as they wandered around aimlessly.

Y/n cut off from them, and was about to go back upstairs when a hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her into an even darker part of the house.

"What the f-"

She was cut off by a hand coming down over her mouth, muffling her noises. Y/n would've been afraid if she hadn't recognized the smell of the person's cologne. She pulled their hand away, slapping them in the chest for good measure.

"Eric, what the fuck."

"Shh." He whispered. "Did I scare you?"

"Yeah, A little bit. Why? Were you trying to?"

He stepped closer, his hands on her hips.

"Maybe, you're cute when you get scared."

Y/n giggled and attempted to smack him in the chest again, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. Her heart was racing, she gripped his shoulders to stable herself.

"Eric." She whispered.

"What?...what's wrong?"

Y/n blushed, glancing down at the floor.

"W-why are you being like this?"

"Being like what?" He asked, holding her close and kissing her neck.

"T-this... you're- the minute the lights go off...you-"

Swagger chuckled, finding her sweet spot and gently sucking.

"You like that?" He asked.

"Mhm..."

Swagger pulled her leg up onto his hip and pressed her into the wall, Y/n's breath hitched when she felt his erection through his sweats.

"You feel that?" He asked. "You feel what you do to me, baby girl?"

"Uh-huh."

Swagger slowly ran his hand down her stomach, pressing his hand between her legs. Y/n whimpered, feeling him rub her clit through her pajama pants.

"You want this?"

"Y-yes."

Swagger pulled her lounge pants and panties down her legs, swiping the tip of his cock through her folds. Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her head in his shoulder and moaning when she felt him slowly slipping into her.

Swagger gripped her hips thrusting into her, Y/n whimpered the feeling of his cock hitting all her sensitive spots making her go hot and cold.

"Fuck, you're so tight." He groaned. "Feel so good around me, baby girl."

"Please- ahh!...d-dont stop."

He gripped the back of her neck, pressing his forehead against hers. Y/n leaned closer, capturing his lips in a kiss. Their tongues danced together, his hand moving down to her clit, making quick circles against it.

"You gonna cum?" He whispered, nibbling at her neck. "You gonna cum for me?"

"Oh God... I-ahh."

Y/n felt her legs shaking, a hot and cold feeling washed over her. Her muscles tensed and released as her climax hit.

Y/n cried out, gripping Swaggers sweatshirt and trying to stay standing.

"Good girl, you're so fuckin good for me."

He pulled out, tucking himself away just as Toby came around the corner.

"I don't know if you heard." He said, "But we're about to get fuckin murdered."

"What?" Y/n asked.

Toby laughed, motioning for them to fallow. "Come on, let's go find the breaker box."

THE END ❤️

I hope you enjoyed

Reblogs are welcome 🤗

#fyp #foryou #fanfic #foryoupage #x reader #smut #requested #swaggersouls x you #swaggersouls smut #swaggersouls x reader #swagger x reader #swaggersouls #swagger #swagger x fem reader

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francis-writes · 5 months

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Hi! Would you write Ramsay x reader nsfw headcanons where the reader is his betrothed and at first he thinks she is innocent but on their wedding-night she is really the opposite and they are basically going wild? thanks in advance <3

A/N: it was supposed to be longer but i took a break to argue with transphobes on facebook and now i am so fucking pissed i can't focus on writing

After all, what else could he expect from you. He knew girls from noble homes and all seemed the same - pure, shy, delicate. Boring. Breaking them would be certainly funny but it was not enough for Ramsay. He wanted someone who could match his energy, who would like to get naked and covered in blood. But you were from wealthy and powerful family, so he decided to marry you. And perhaps find a mistress for a good time. You needed only to give him heir and to strengthen his position between lords.

Sure, he was excited for your wedding night. You were young and pretty, and even if you turned out to be cold in bed, he would get his pleasure. Ramsay always got what he wanted.

But the minute he closed doors behind you, you pulled him closer and kissed him passionately as if you were trying to suck out his soul. He was surprised but not disappointed. He grabbed your waist, pressing his body into yours. You could feel his growing erection so you reached your hand down and you started to massage the bulge in his pants.

Ramsay smiled and lifted your skirt, just to squeeze your thigh so hard you gasped. You pushed him away, just to start taking off your dress.

"Damn thing..." you swore under your breath as it turned out to be fastened with too many buttons, ribbons and clasps. Your now husband grew impatient with observing your ineffective struggles and simply ripped it. You stood bare in front of him and he took a moment to admire your body. His new possession. Then he pushed you onto the bed and crawled on top of you, kissing and biting your chest, making sure to left marks. You tilted your head back, enjoying both pain and pleasure while Ramsay squeezed your soft breast and sucked on your nipples, playing with them, using his tongue. You let out a quiet scream when he bit your nipple, you grabbed fistfull of his hair and forcefully pulled his head back. He only gave you a smug grin.

"A bitch shows its teeth" he said, but more with a admiration than a mockery in his tone "Where did you learn that?"

"The say way you learn fighting, by everyday practice" you replied and without giving Ramsay time for saying anything, you took advantage of his surprise and you rolled him onto his back. You leaned over and started kissing his jaw and neck, trying to take off his shirt at the same time. Ramsay helped you, impatient to feel your hands on his body. Soon you got rid of his shirt and pants, there was only warm skin touching warm skin. You moved a bit to make sure his dick touches your wet pussy but doesn't actually enter it. You wanted to torment him a little bit longer.

Unfortunately, Ramsay didn't share your desire and in the moment he felt your excitement between your legs, he pushed you from himself and pinned you to the bed so you couldn't escape.

He entered you. You had lovers before but Ramsay's dick was quite thick and he stretched you a bit. Fortunately you were wet enough so it went smoothly but you enjoyed the sensation of your cunt tightening on his cock. He probably enjoyed your body as well because he immediately started fucking you, thrusting fast and rough. You hold onto his back, your nails furrowing wounds in his skin. Ramsay moaned as your fingers dig into his flesh. You brought one of your hands to your face just to see that you drew blood from his back. Pleased, you licked it off your fingers.

He came on your belly and you raised your eyebrow. "Don't you want an heir like a proper lord?"

Ramsay just smiled to you. "And who says we're finished?" He asked rhetorically and licked his sperm off of you.

Yeah, that was a long night. Just like the next day. And next night. And next-

#ramsay bolton x reader #ramsay bolton imagine #ramsay snow #ramsay bolton #got imagine #asoiaf imagine #ramsay snow x reader

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