#realized while editing that this is the maya pose

[kastillia]

#iris wilson #ace attorney #the great ace attorney #dai gyakuten saiban #tgaa #dgs #i have not...played the second game #actually i haven't even finished the first one #they make me feel dumb fdshkjdf #but look at her she's so cute #realized while editing that this is the maya pose #i hope this makes up for me being selfish last upload lol #my art

[thricedead]

Hi Clari! Do you still have your slow damage essay/post? I've been meaning to reread it because I really loved your analysis of the subject

Yesss!!! Here it is under the cut, I edited it a little bit!

Slow Damage is a story about the cyclic nature of abuse and its consequences. Abuse sticks its claws into you and rakes down, leaving behind four ditches - orderly in some cases, and more chaotic in others. Either way, even as the skin and flesh heal, there is now a generous amount of empty space in you, and Slow Damage poses a question - what will you fill it up with?

I went into this VN knowing only that Towa enjoys rather extreme forms of self-harm, and I have to admit that this was precisely what captivated my attention at first - the promise of a severely damaged protagonist, and the hope that he is more than a run-of-the-mill masochist. I was not disappointed.

The extent to which Towa relates injury to sex and pain to pleasure immediately made me suspect the sort of trauma he must have endured in the past. For a moment, I thought: Isn't the solution to this mystery a little too obvious? Looking back at the lack of subtlety, though, I don't think that Towa being a CSA victim was supposed to be some kind of a grand reveal. The point wasn't in cracking the mystery, in understanding motivations and getting concrete answers - the point was observing one case of the consequences of abuse that will tell us - no, ASK us - something about all of them. How does the thing that happened to Towa keep happening over and over, and in silence too? What mechanisms allow it to happen, and to stay hidden? What all sorts of people, some of them generally good and kind, participate in these mechanisms?

Let us retrace our steps.

Maya forced her own son into violent prostitution from a very young age, all the while teaching him how to use charms to his advantage, how to manipulate people and fulfill their desires in order to gain control over them. The way she taught those things methodically seems to insinuate that this was something she herself had been taught at a young age and passed on; the art of assuming the exact persona you need to prod into people's insides. This isn't to say that her actions classify as excusable - in fact, isn't the fact that she's putting her child through the horrors she experienced herself even more disgusting? I wonder if her lessons in human psychology were all for the self-obsessed purpose of turning her son into a copy of herself... or was she, in a twisted way, thinking it would help him endure and rise the way that she had? I am going to let that question hang in the air - after all, the point of Surodame isn't to review individual motivations, but to ask questions about the grander scheme of things. That is precisely why I cried together with Towa upon reading the strangely frail account of Maya's diary: I just can't make [parenthood] work... realizing that the slow-growing disease had spread beyond that mother-son duo, beyond the walls of Euphoria, beyond Shinkoumi... in every corner of the world, there are hundreds of Mayas and Towas, and millions upon millions of Silent Takus wondering what they could have done differently.

For starters, I want to focus on Towa himself. When I think about him, the first phrase that comes to mind is 'a void filled with the dregs of abuse'. Though he himself doesn't remember his abuse throughout the first three routes, his every move is a reflection of it: every sexual encounter both a self-inflicted wound and an attempt to affirm: IT'S ME WHO CHOSE TO DO THIS TO MYSELF, which is why Towa's breakdown upon realizing that not even his scars belong to himself was especially painful. I like the choice of stating that Maya did not like nor understand art. She couldn’t bring herself to understand it. Though the penchant for uncovering people's dark desires and the ability to read them were all influenced by Maya, the instinct to paint those is Towa's. The art that almost died together with him was the one thing that belonged to him alone - and yet, there is comfort in the fact that the true route ends with him saying that he doesn't know whether he'll paint anymore or not. What matters is that he quit performing euphoric episodes, closed the cycle of abuse and perpetuating Maya's ideals. The sight of the atelier in the main menu all clean and bright upon Towa's vision returning to normal made me strangely emotional; the reveal that the chosen painting was never dark and muddy, that the atelier was never all that dark and scary... the final tour around Shinkoumi with everyone telling Towa that he looks like something good had happened to him... at the end of a very painful road, Towa still found some comfort in existing.

But what of Fujieda? Of Madarame, of Rei, Taku? For a BLVN, isn't it strange to go 6 paragraphs deep without mentioning any of the love interests?

I will preface this by saying that, to me, the very point of Surodame lies in the fact that none of them are ultimately good boyfriends to Towa. I really wanted to interpret the actions of the three sans Madarame more charitably than I do now, but in reasoning with myself, I failed at every single attempt. They are, to varying degrees and each in their own way, a dead end.

Let's go route by route.

Murase Takuma is a kind man in a way Towa is not - this is driven into our heads from the start. He is a doctor. He cares for children, workers and the elderly. He even lends an ear to them outside of his responsibilities as their physician, overworking himself to the brink of death. His role as the caretaker of a hopeless, bleak person like Towa, an addict who is destructive towards both himself and others, can certainly be perceived as saintly. Even his actions of keeping Towa's past from him, burning letters and throwing away packages, were all for the sake of preserving Towa's sanity! However, though Taku's intentions are pure, I can't read them as benign. Well - he is probably the most benign of the four men Towa involves himself with, being the only one who never physically lashed out at him. Neither abuser nor victim, Taku is a third thing entirely - an observer. A hider, a savior, a carer... and at his core, though not intentionally, an enabler. I do agree that there was nothing Taku could have done to save Towa as a child. There just wasn't a way to take Towa away from Euphoria while Maya lived. I do believe that he did the best he could, patching Towa up time after time... staying throughout the years, changing the bedding, throwing out the liquor bottles. Eat something, Towa. Smoke less, Towa. Once Towa got a lot older, Taku grew to love him romantically. Though I find it unsavory, Towa is over twenty-five at this point so it's not really some big deal. The much more dreadful power imbalance than that in age is the fact that Taku is holding the entirety of Towa's past, his abuse, and his identity over his head. Once again, I'm not calling Taku out as a gaslighter here - not in this route, at least, since Towa had no interest in his true identity at this point anyway. But you can't deny that their happy ending - embracing under the cherry blossoms with a calmer, more mature looking Towa, his hair a clean black, an orderly cardigan billowing behind him - is a sort of a quiet misery. Taku loves the man he saved (raised?), the man who presumably quit painful sex for his sake… but Towa doesn't even know what it is that he's being saved from. Towa is a hole. I really might not have interpreted this ending so negatively if it wasn't for the scene of Taku showing Towa a photograph of him as a little child in a restaurant with his mother. This smiling child prostitute in an orderly little boys' getup, dining with his pimp mother and his future lover. It felt to me like a means of truly driving into our brains the extent of Taku's helplessness, delusion, failure, and LIES. The photograph is a fabricated reality, a fabricated happy past that he feeds to Towa. In this route, this is what Towa filled the ditch with - a daydream, and sweet gentle sex that doesn't scratch his itch. I can't give them more than five years before Towa falls back into his old habits. The end.

Now we get to Rei. Rei is also a sort of a carer to Towa, though a more casual one and closer to him in age. Let us review Rei's situation with gender - due to his toxic, abusive father (who was also a child sex trafficker, might I add!) degrading him for his homosexuality and saying it made him less of a man, Rei developed an aversion to masculinity, speaking in onee-kotoba and growing out his hair and such. At some point he attempted to cut off his own penis in Towa's presence, but ended up hesitating and not going through. All in all, he decided to drop all things associated with traditional masculinity other than street fighting, which he uses to vent out his frustration. This is the key word here – FRUSTRATION, which all of Rei’s pretenses fail to rid him of. Rei's frustration grows to hundred percent when he is forced to enter to-the-death matches to get his deadbeat father out of debt. Killing opponent after opponent, Rei grows more frustrated and less and less like his friendly effeminate self. I think the key solution to the question of 'how is the writing of rei's gender handled?' Is the fact that Rei rediscovered his masculinity through violence. And Slow Damage is not a game that... likes violence, encourages it, or overall relates it to anything remotely positive. I don't think that Rei reconnected to his masculinity in a healthy way, and I don't think it's meant to be read as a cool arc about finding the lost self. Most of all, it's not his or Towa's happy ending. Speaking of Towa... the thing is that Rei only realized a sexual attraction to Towa once the amount of violence in his life amplified to the max. As his level of 'manliness' grew. Their sex scene is very frank about this - after he and Towa beat each other into bloody pulp, he says something along the lines of 'I'm a man and I want to fuck you.' I think it drives the point further that he was the only virginal love interest to that point - when he perceived himself as a woman, he had no violent sexual appetites, or at least didn't see a way towards realizing them. Once he 'reverted' into a man though, he could fuck Towa. He could claim his prize - who has no objections, given that it feeds perfectly into his own penchant that I described at the start. And their ending, showing us a casually manly Rei biking with Towa? We have no proof that he's in any way abusive, nor that they're unhappy, but... this 'new gender' of his, he built it up with bricks made of blood, some of it Towa's. I don't think Rei reached a happy ending. I think Rei is a feminine person, or at the very least a gender nonconforming man who retreated back into the closet within the violent festival that his father brought upon him... many will disagree, but this is how I read it - a manhood built up on violence equals unhapiness for two. I think Towa and Rei might stay together longer than Towa and Taku would, but it won't bring either of them any healing. The end.

Madarame's route is the simplest, since Madarame does not hide himself behind any masks. He is a violent, shameless rapist who gladly continues paving the road of self-destruction that Maya had left off half-finished. I think that placing this ending behind Taku and Rei's serves as a bit of a wake-up call to those who felt pacified by the former two - um, hey, hello? Did you forget? This is not a 'happy story'. For some three hours you watch Madarame break Towa psychologically, repeatedly rape and torture him - only to release him back to Taku and Rei for Towa to find that he can't truly fit in among them anymore. What purpose does it serve? Well, I think it just shows us that there never was any long-term happiness waiting for Towa with either of those men. I think the purpose of the Madarame route, beyond preparing us for the true route, is to totally nullify the effect of the first two. A 'forget what you thought you knew' type of detail. Broken into obedience, a wild blond Towa kissed Madarame after a boxing match. The end.

Fujieda.

He perplexes me the most, and I'm still not entirely certain in the answer I arrived at. Why would the author who penned this painfully real story about abuse have Towa end up with a man who - midway through the route - raped him? I tried to work wonders to explain this to myself, try to interpret it differently, but the truth is concrete. Fujieda raped Towa in a fit of rage, and then with a sober mind continued acting like everything was normal between them. Why would this be in a 'painfully real story about abuse?'

...precisely because it's painfully real. It happened to Towa. It happened to a million others. It might happen to you. When you hit your knee, do your fingers not venture to fondle the bruise, press down for a small reminder of what the pain felt like? The fingers are usually kind, but once in a while, they press down.

And again - Fujieda does not consistently abuse Towa. In fact, he gives him his first taste of truly pleasurable sex in a scene that pushed me to the brink of tears in its sad honesty. When Fujieda has a good day, he gently washes the remnants of assault out of Towa. But when he had an extremely bad way, he was the perpetrator of the assault. I think it's 'painfully real' for Towa to end up with such a man. After coming to terms with his past, this was the best he could do. This was as much as he could save himself. The VN ends on such a note - don't be too happy for him, and don't be too sad. I do believe that Fujieda brought Towa some comfort and clarity, but I can't say that this isn't a dead end, too. Just a more peaceful one in the light. In the ocean.

What's the point then, if Towa ends up stranded no matter what choices you make? Let's return to the beginning, to the ditch abuse made in you. Sometimes you fill it in with fantasies, sometimes with violence, sometimes with the 'next best thing', a 'he's a good man you know, he's only rough when he drinks' type of marriage... no matter what, fact is that all abused kids seek to fill it in with something familiar. Something they know and recognize. It yearns to be filled, it aches for it - whatever you're ready to dish out, just put it in! I think this merry-go-round of victims and perpetrators is what Surodame is trying to turn our eyes towards, or at least force us to stop averting them. So that you may not scorn the Towa in your life, so that if you are a Towa yourself, you may find comfort in knowing that someone somewhere dreamed you up, empathized with you and lead your hand along the path. Why, then, do we not see our Towa free?

Well, the future is long. He was in an ocean. Maybe he walked out.

[aion-rsa]

How Fear Street Part 1 Tricks the Scream Generation

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains spoilers for Fear Street Part 1: 1994 and Scream.

An instantly iconic moment in genre cinema arrived during the opening scene of horror classic Scream back in 1996 when Drew Barrymore, one of the most in-demand young actresses at the time, met her unfortunate, gruesome fate at the end of the Ghostface killer’s knife. No one expected it. What kind of filmmaker would have the stones to murder their biggest star before the story even really began? The legendary Wes Craven, that’s who. And horror movies would never be the same again.

The ’90s-set Fear Street Part 1: 1994 may hope to appeal to fans of Scream and other horror bangers, but much like Scream it aches to subvert any dated expectations—and succeeds in a multitude of ways. The R. L. Stine book series adaptation lands on Netflix this month after a rocky road to the screen. Directed by Leigh Janiak, who helmed a couple of episodes of Scream: The TV Series after her debut horror movie Honeymoon snagged a ton of positive reviews, Fear Street: 1994 and its two sequels were originally developed at 20th Century Studios before the pandemic shuttered theatrical releases for a while.

Fear Street Part 1’s opening scene will likely seem predictable to Scream fans at first. Instead of Barrymore’s high schooler Casey, we are presented with Maya Hawke’s Heather. The actress is at the top of the film’s cast in plenty of listings, having previously broken out in the third season of Netflix’s flagship horror series Stranger Things as the ice cream scoop-slinging Robin Buckley, and having since appeared in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Heather is closing a book store she works at in the mall when she hears odd noises and senses that she is being watched from the darkness when Fear Street Part 1: 1994 gets underway. We’re hit with a jump scare and a couple of Scream-y fake-out nods, including a ringing phone, before Heather realizes that it’s just her pal Ryan messing around, and they agree to meet up before they leave for the night. But the stalking continues after Ryan departs, and suddenly the chase is on as a masked killer not too dissimilar from Scream’s Ghostface hunts her down.

He stabs her and she falls on her back, helpless as he gets ready to end her life. Just as Casey does in Scream, Heather weakly raises her arm and pulls the Halloween mask off the killer to answer one final question before she expires. But unlike Scream, which cuts away at that very moment to preserve the mystery of the killer’s identity, Fear Street Part 1: 1994 shows us the killer’s face. It’s still Ryan! He’s shot dead a second later, seemingly ending the story before it really starts.

Just like that, we’re unsettled and don’t know what to expect next. Fear Street Part 1: 1994’s opening homage to Scream makes it clear almost immediately that the film is not content with playing in the same sandbox of horror tropes as its predecessors and inspirations. And it won’t be the last time that the movie refuses to stay in its lane.

After the shock of Hawke’s death, we get a swiftly edited—and very ’90s-esque—opening credits montage that lays most of the Fear Street trilogy’s lore out for us. The gaggle of teens we’re about to meet live in Shadyside, which happens to be the no-good sibling of its idealistic neighboring town, Sunnyvale. Shadyside makes for a wild slasher hellmouth, with a long history of slayings creating a sort of fever dream you might have after playing too much Dead by Daylight.

Horrifying murder sprees are the norm in Shadyside. The 1970s boasted their own Friday the 13th-style slasher at the local summer camp, and the 1600s gave birth to the legend of a Blair Witch adjacent curse. What monstrosity is waiting in the shadows for the young stars of Fear Street Part 1? Pretty much all of them, as we quickly find out when the movie taps into another major horror influence: Cabin in the Woods.

Drew Goddard’s 2012 gamechanger poses the question “what if there were a huge selection of boogeymen available to prey on some unsuspecting teens?” but Fear Street Part 1 sets out to prove that its own protagonists would do a far better job of things than the Cabin crowd by quickly pitting them against their own Shadyside horde.

Which is not to say that Fear Street Part 1 doesn’t embrace 1990s movie tropes elsewhere. There are the relentless needle drops of the first act, which cover everything from “Machinehead” to “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” to “Sour Times,” with a pace that gives you aural whiplash. There’s the candlelit vigil that turns nasty when some predictable toxic masculinity kicks in. There are visual homages to movies like I Know What You Did Last Summer. And some of the characters initially feel so two-dimensional that it’s easy to sink into the comfortable slasher movie mindset of cheering on their inevitable deaths.

But all this starts to fade away at around the 25-minute mark when Part 1 pulls its central characters into Shadyside’s supernatural web.

Deena, whose journey anchors the film, is a resourceful born leader who is ready to confront death at every turn. Her brother Josh is an early keyboard conspiracy theorist, on hand with some neat exposition whenever the film calls for it. Simon is a horny, goofy, drug dealing tagalong who has also been employee of the month—every month—and is often wonderfully sensitive. The film isn’t even halfway over before this gang have figured out what the score is and are plotting how they’re going to fight back as each of them refuses to fit into genre stereotypes.

But again, the film avoids rehashing a vintage scenario by dispensing with Cabin in the Woods’ more nihilistic and meta vibes. There’s no Control Room here; no one betting on the outcome. Fear Street would rather concentrate on the importance of teamwork and mutual respect in the midst of its endless cycle of violence—a tactic that feels like a fresh, essential strategy for a modern horror movie. Part 1 often wears its influences on its sleeve proudly, but it never seems particularly interested in copying them.

Then there’s that ending. In what is surely a first for the horror movie genre, two sequels are about to quickly follow that will push us deeper into Shadyside history. We are in the streaming age where studios are willing to risk a lot of cash on making a big debut splash, and the Fear Street Trilogy is surging into an unknown landscape by delivering three ambitious movies in three weeks. When the credits roll on Part 1, it could be easy to fall into the trap of knowing what to expect from a sequel posing as a prequel, but Part 1 has already succeeded in convincing us that we should set aside our expectations of what the trilogy ultimately hopes to bring to the horror genre.

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from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3jz9sLj

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[kookie-for-you]

Royal Flush, Chapter 3

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

“So for the order of member debuts, it’s going to start with Yeji,” our manager, Soonbok, said, hitting a button on the keyboard, bringing up the two photos of me for the debut, one in that cute fluffy skirt and the other in a pair of high waisted denim, high tops, and a crop top.  Our concept was all about the duality of feminine style—the sweet, cute side and the more punk and rebellious side.  Or, as our manager called it, “Sugar and Spice.”

Jisoo’s hands flew to her cheeks.  “Oh, Yeji-eunnie you look so good!  How did you look so perfect?”

“Why me first?” I asked, feeling my heart speed up with nerves.  I critically examined the photos.  In my opinion, they weren’t anywhere close to perfect.  My hair laying weird in one photo, and my legs were way too thick, even after the editing that I’m sure had been done.

“You’re the center, and the visual,” Soonbok explained.  “Bang PD-nim thinks that you’ll grab the attention first, and get people excited for everyone else.”  I nodded slowly, unsure how I felt about that reasoning.  I had a feeling it was a little bit less exciting being called the visual than it was for Minji to be called the leader, or Jisoo to be called the lead rapper.  It just felt like less of an earned position.

“Who’s next?” Jahyun asked, clapping her hands excitedly.  

Soonbok obliged, clicking to the next slide of her powerpoint.  “After Yeji, it will be Minji,” she told us.  Minji’s photos were lovely.  Her bleached blonde hair popped against her tan skintone, and the blues and reds the stylists put her in looked amazing on her.  “Then JJ.”

JJ.  That was Jisoo’s stage name.  Her name was Jung Jisoo, and in English her initials were JJ. Sometimes I forgot she had taken one, since we all still just called her by her name.  We’d have to get used to calling her JJ more, at least for during interviews and things.  Jahyun had taken one too—Juliet.

I’d been offered a few stage names too.  Roxy, Stacey, Maya.  In the end I’d decided to keep my own name though.  Kim Yeji suited me.

“After JJ is Juliet.” I realized I’d basically missed Jisoo’s pictures.  I made a mental note to look back at them later.  Meanwhile, now Jahyun’s adorable face was smiling on the screen.  I was surprised by her edgy photo though—I hadn’t been on set for those photos, and had yet to see them.  It almost seemed wrong to see our bubbly and cute maknae posing in combat boots and ripped jeans, but she pulled the look off as effortlessly as she did so many other things.

I could tell Jahyun was proud of the pictures as well, so I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze.  Her grin grew wider as she snuggled back into my arms, craving cuddles as usual.

“Haneul-eunnie is last?” Jisoo asked, looking to our eldest sister sitting on the end.

Soonbok nodded, giving Haneul a kind smile.  “Haneul’s energy is so kind and calm, she’s a great way to round out the group and make people feel secure that the group is grounded.”  Soonbok always had a way of delivering information in such a nice way. Maybe that was why she was (secretly) all of our favorite manager.

Haneul’s pictures were pretty too.  She’d had her hair dyed a dusty pink, and they’d done her eye makeup to match with sparkly pink eyeshadow in the soft pictures, and hot pink eyeliner in the edgy ones.  I found my eyes drawn to how impossibly small her body seemed to be—before Haneul had even been a trainee, she’d trained for years as a ballerina, and her body shape told that story.

Minji sighed, looking equal parts nervous and excited.  “Having a schedule for the photos makes debut seem all the sooner.”

Haneul nodded.  “Only two months now,” she said, and I felt a shiver run through me.  Was I excited?  Terrified? What if the fans hated us?  We had a lot to live up to.  I’d been on social media, and I’d seen people speculating about us, and how Bangtan set such an example for us to follow.  It was a lot to take in.

Coming up after Bangtan would provide us with a lot of opportunity, certainly.  People would be watching us right away.  We’d start out with probably bigger shows and interviews. There were even already talks of a small tour around the US early next year.  But there were drawbacks too.  We would get away with a lot fewer mistakes than an average rookie group.  Everyone was going to be watching Royal Flush.

 * * * 

Two hours later, we were mid-dance rehearsal.  We’d just finished another run-through of our debut song when our choreographer gave us a break to rest and have some water.  I smiled as I saw Jahyun dramatically collapse onto the floor right where she stood, reaching up to drag Jisoo down to lay with her.  The two of them giggled as they cuddled up next to each other, sweaty as they were.

I followed Haneul over to the side of the room where our water bottles were.  Somehow, she already had mine and handed it to me.  “You look exhausted,” she joked, pushing a sweaty strand of my hair from my face.  

“Not really,” I replied, taking a long drink of water.  It was still cold and fresh—the insulated water bottles Haneul had bought for all of us were so good.  “Minji?” I called out, handing our leader Jahyun’s water.  “Take that to the kids, please.  They’ll forget to hydrate.”

“What do you think of being the first member debuted?” Haneul asked as Minji scampered off to deliver water to the maknaes.  Haneul and I both took a seat resting our backs against the wall, watching as the tiny leader was coerced to joining the other two who were now starfishing in the middle of the studio floor.

I shrugged.  “I mean…it’s not like it means much,” I said, trying not to seem too nervous about the idea.  “So they’ll see my face first.  It’s not huge, they’ll see Minji’s the next day, and then Jisoo and Jahyun and you.  We’re a group.”

“Jahyun is already planning out her first twitter post once we gain control of the account,” Haneul said with a smile and a shake of her head.  “She wants so badly to make a good first impression on the fans.  It matters so much to her.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.  Too easily, Jahyun could be seen as just a silly teenager who was excited about becoming a star.  But us—Royal Flush, and the staff—we saw how hard that girl worked every day, even while still going to school and growing up.  Her family were all the way back in Daegu.  Jahyun might have given up the most of any of us for this, and she kept a smile on her face the whole time.

So often were people going in and out of the studio, we didn’t really notice when the door opened, but then a voice called our attention.  “Hello, Royal Flush.”  Simultaneously, all five of us looked over to see all seven members of Bangtan standing in the doorway.

I don’t know how we all managed to get to our feet and bow so quickly.  “Hello Bangtan-sunbaes,” we replied, almost in unison.  I heard Jahyun giggle nervously, and I looked over to see her halfway hiding behind Jisoo.  While I watched, I saw Jisoo pinch Jahyun’s elbow in an attempt to get her to calm down.

Kim Namjoon was the one who had greeted us.  “We thought it was about time that we came and saw you all.”

By now, all of us had finished bowing.  My eyes moved from one member to the other, too entranced by the sunbaes to focus on one. Jeon Jungkook seemed to be focusing on his leader and avoiding our eyes, Park Jimin gave a cheerful wave, and when I caught Kim Seokjin’s eyes, the saucy man winked at me.  I felt a furious blush rise in my cheeks and ducked my head, terrified that my face was now the same color as my hair.

Minji stepped right into her role as leader, stepping away from the group and bowing again to Bangtan. “My name is Kong Minji, sunbaes,” she introduced.  “I’m Royal Flush’s leader.”  

Haneul stepped forward as well.  “I am Li Haneul,” she said, bowing as well.  “I’m the eldest.”  Haneul looked over at me expectantly.

When I looked over the group again, my eyes met with Min Yoongi.  They seemed to lock with mine just the same way they did in the practice room.  I wondered if he had told his other members—well, other than Namjoon and Jimin—about how we’d already met.  “My name is Kim Yeji, sunbaes,” I said quietly.  “I’m…Yeji.”

I heard Jahyun snicker so quietly I’d almost felt I imagined it.  A tiny smirk showed up on Yoongi’s face, though it was gone in a second.

“Ah, another Kim!” Seokjin said, throwing his head to the side to whip his bangs from his eyes.  “Tell me, Kim Yeji, how does it feel to be the second most attractive Kim at Big Hit?”

My blush came back full force, exactly at the same time as Namjoon and Taehyung both shoved and shouted at Seokjin playfully.  I simply forced a giggle, ducking my head down again and pulling my hair in front of my face.

“You’ve made her shy, hyung,” Jimin protested.  “Don’t let him be a tease, he never knows when to stop.”  The boys laughed, including Seokjin.

Jisoo took her chance to give another bow.  “I am Jung Jisoo, sunbaes, but you might know me by my stage name JJ.  I’m the main rapper for Royal Flush.”

“And I’m Yuk Jahyun.” The maknae didn’t wait a second to introduce herself, clearly eager.  Her bow was as bouncy as her personality.  “I’ll be debuting as Juliet.”

“You’re the maknae, aren’t you?” Taehyung asked with a smile.  He slung an arm around Jungkook, who was still being very still and quiet, avoiding eye contact.  “Our Jungkookie can give you some tips on debuting so young.”

“Oh yes!” Jahyun said, nodding.  “I’d be honored to learn anything sunbae had to teach me.”

“We were hoping to catch a sneak preview of your choreos, if that’s all right with you?” Namjoon suggested. His calm smile and demeanor really radiated out of him, putting me almost at ease again.  “It looks like you were taking a break…”

“Of course, sunbae,” Minji agreed, and when she looked around the rest of us nodded eagerly along. “We can surely run through our debut choreography again.”

“Fantastic!” Seokjin exclaimed.  His exuberance seemed only to excite Jahyun more, and she giggled while bouncing up and down and clapping.  Bangtan made their way further into the studio, joining the staff who had been watching us from one side of the room.  As Haneul and I placed our waters down and rejoined our members in the center, I took the time to observe the way our sunbaes interacted with each other.

It was so easy, the way they walked and talked.  Namjoon and Seokjin seemed to be discussing something together as they both stood at one end of the group.  Taehyung and Jimin were both clearly whispering teasing words to Jungkook, as his red cheeks and stifled laughter seemed to imply.  He repeatedly shook his head at them and shoved them away as they attempted to hang off of his shoulders.  Hoseok watched them and occasionally added a ruffle of Jungkook’s hair.

Yoongi seemed to stay off to the side.  He’d chosen to crouch down, and was simply staring at his shoes, seeming deep in thought. While I stood there, wondering what he was thinking, he looked up and our eyes met once again.

I looked away quickly. I really needed to stop that.

We quickly got back into the very familiar starting position for our choreo.  I started in the center, and knew every eye would be automatically drawn to me.  I’d have to be careful not to make any mistakes.  The choreography wasn’t exactly easy, and Royal Flush was no exception to Big Hit’s love of precision and synchronization.  It would be noticeable if we weren’t together.

It was just another run-through.  I couldn’t be nervous.  I looked down at the ground, ready in my opening position.

When the music started and the first eight beats went by, my head popped up right on cue, and after that, I wasn’t really aware of anything that happened.  My body got carried away by the music, and by the long hours of work and the sheer memorization of this dance.  I forgot who was even in the room and just focused on dancing as good as I ever had.

The second the music stopped, and all five of us had stuck our ending positions, Bangtan broke out into applause.  My cheeks burned automatically, and I felt a sheepish grin on my face.  “Wow, our juniors are the best,” Hoseok kept repeating.

“Really, Royal Flush, that was awesome,” Namjoon said, standing up from where he’d crouched down next to Yoongi to watch.  My eyes slid over to Yoongi, who was simply nodding along to what everyone else said. He looked tired.

“Oh man, I’m going to be singing that song later,” Taehyung commented.  “Jisoo-ssi, that one line you have?  Deck of cards with five queens in one hand, I’d call that a Royal Flush, that is such a killing line.  Did you write that?”

“Yes, with Yeji-eunnie’s help,” Jisoo said, and I smiled in receipt of the acknowledgement.  “Yeji-eunnie is great at lyrics.”

“She is great at dancing, too,” Hoseok said.  “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you, seriously.”

“Haneul too,” Jimin interjected.  “I can tell, you must have a background in modern dance or something?”

“Ballet,” Haneul said with a smile and nod.  Jimin nodded as well, and smiled along with her.

“As much as we’d love to stand here and compliment our juniors all day, Bangtan does have practice as well,” Namjoon said.  He threw an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders.  The maknae had seemed to brighten up during the performance, though he hadn’t said anything.  “We will leave you to your practice, Royal Flush.  Minji-ssi, is it all right if I get your cellphone number, so I can text you when our groups can meet up for a meal sometime?”

“Yes, of course, sunbae,” Minji said hurriedly trotting over to her bag to grab her phone.  Most of Bangtan wandered out with smiles and waves from them and bows from us.  Haneul gripped my arm tightly.

“Can you believe Bangtan liked our dance?” she whispered in my ear.

I looked at her, a little surprised.  “I thought nothing shook you, eunnie,” I teased.  “They’re our seniors, of course they like us.”

“They could have ignored us, but they didn’t.  And Park Jimin complimented my dancing.  ME,” she repeated, seeming in shock.

While I couldn’t understand why she was surprised someone would enjoy her dancing, I understood the feeling. “I know,” I repeated, watching as Namjoon left, last of his bandmates.  “It feels like things are really starting to come together.”

“Like this is real,” Haneul added.  I nodded.

“Yeah.  Like this is real.”

Next Chapter

A/N:  If you would like to see a GREAT idea of what Royal Flush’s dance/performance aesthetic is like, I highly recommend ITZY’s dance rehearsal videos.  I use them for inspiration when it comes to Royal Flush.  The Dalla Dalla dance rehearsal is a great idea of what Royal Flush’s choreography looks like, with the members as follows:

Yeji-Yeji (I decided this BEFORE I knew this member’s name was Yeji, I was shocked)

Ryujin-Jisoo (JJ)

Chaeryong-Minji

Yuna-Haneul

Lia-Jahyun (Juliet)

#bts #bangtan #Bangtan Sonyeondon #bts reaction #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts fanfiction #angst #fluff #romance #idol #idol au #oc #oc x bts #oc x min yoongi #oc x yoongi #oc x suga #you x bts #you x yoongi #you x min yoongi #you x suga #royal flush

[sanskritintheeveryday]

Hinduism in Xena: The Warrior Princess

Before I begin, I would like to state that the show’s creators did admit that they took liberties with Hindu religion. This show is about a lady named Xena trying to make up for her past evil deed by defending the innocent. She had a companion, Gabrielle.

In Season Four, Episode Fourteen, Gabrielle and Xena arrive in India. There they walk around and see the sights. Then they watch a magician’s act, and an accident happens. An evil demon by the name Tataka possesses the magician’s assisstant Maya. Gabrielle drives the demon out, and the local priest, Vikram, accuses Eli, the magician, of bringing demons.

Xena, the magician Eli and Gabrielle run and hide in a temple. There, Eli tells them that he once cast a demon out of a guy, and is trying to do it again, and learn about his powers. Later on, the priest is found dead. When Xena and Eli enter the town, Gabrielle’s bodyguards and worshippers vanish. Dogs attack Xena and Eli; Xena escapes, and Gabrielle scares the dogs away. The trio go into another temple for protection, and there Xena sees a painting of Tataka, a blond haired demoness, who posed as a healer. 

Gabrielle poses like Tataka. Gabrielle throws healing water on herself, and the two realize that Gabrielle is not the devi. When Gabrielle’s head bodyguard attacks and Xena has Eli throw the holy water on it, it burns it. Eli is actually the devi-he drove away the demons. Eventually, after some events, Eli drives Tataka out of Gabrielle, and the three split up temporarily.

In the next episode, Between the Lines, Xena saves Naiyima from being thrown into a fire. She has mehndi lines on her that attack Xena and slice her into a million bits. The mehndi lines go back to Naiyima, sucking Xena into a Karmic tunnel. 

At the end of the tunnel, Xena is in a ruined village. There are swordsmen and villagers around. The leader, Khindin, addresses her as Arminestra, the great Peacemaker. Xena’s reflection is that of an old woman. Xena’s soul is in her body; during a battle, Xena sees the soul of Alti in Khindin. Alti is an evil shamaness. 

In the past, Naiyima tells Gabrielle Xena is in the future, to defend her soul and the Karmic cycle. Naiyima teaches Gabrielle about Mehndi, which will help Xena return home. To defeat the evil, Xena must fight evil in the present. So Gabrielle goes through the Karmic tunnel, inhabiting Shakti. Xena sees this, and also makes the connection that Alti has gotten the spiritual power she had in the past. Alti and she have a little chat. 

Gabrielle as Shakti mounts her attack. Xena tries to kill Alti, but because she is Arminestra, a follower stops her. Xena looses the box that both need to travel back in time. Alti captures Gabrielle and Xena.

Alti now wants their souls, and is preparing to sacrifice them. While she’s gone, Xena and Gabrielle paint some Mehndi on themselves, and when Alti returns, the two use the Mehndi to bring themselves back to the past. 

Alti deals a near-death blow using the past lives of Xena and Gabrielle, and tries to crucify Gabrielle. Xena stops this by slicing off Gabrielle’s hair. Naiyima intervenes and chucks Alti away, then encourages Xena and Gabrielle to fight some more. Gabrielle binds Alti’s wrists and Xena, after two unsuccessful chakram throws, combines the two and kills Alti. 

Unfortunately, Alti’s soul will return. Luckily, Xena and Gabrielle will be there to continue killing her when she appears. 

In the next episode, the Way, Xena and Gabrielle are sauntering along a reiverbank when demons attack. Xena gets a cut on her arm, but they get to interrogate one demon. Apparently, an evil demon king has sent them to prevent the two from meeting the Avatar, a deity in human form who will save humanity.

Along the road, they meet the avatar, Eli. Eli greets them, but he’s still a little unsecure about his new healing gifts. Xena hears a noise, and hunts around for it, but finds nothing. The band gets back together for the time being, to provide maximum security against the king. 

Another thing follows them, this time, Hanuman. Hanuman has helped many avatars before Eli, and takes them to the temple of Krishna.

Along the way, Eli talks to Gabrielle about his Way, the way of non-violence, about reverence of all life. Xena asks Hanuman about this, and he says that there is one one Way per person, and to be caught between two is bad. 

At the temple, Eli persuades those who want to fight for him not to; fighting would corrupt the soul. Then enters Indrajit.

Indrajit kidnaps Eli and Gabrielle, and returns to Lanka, the demon land. Hanuman persuades Xena to enter Krishna’s temple before pursuing Indrajit. 

Xena prays in the temple, and after awhile, Krishna comes.

Krishna says that Xena is confused. He says that she needs to do what she must now so it will be possible for other things to happen now. Krishna says to call his name whenever Xena is in dire straits in the battle against Indrajit, and she will have the strength she needs. 

Eli and Gabrielle meditate, from where they are captured. Gabrielle sees Xena chained up and attacks, but it’s an illusion, courtesy of Indrajit. 

When Xena and Hanuman enter Indrajit’s palace, Xena chops off Indrajit’s hand; he is holding Gabrielle by the throat. Indrajit transforms into a six armed demon, and duels Xena until both her arms are cut off.

 Xena calls out Krishna's name, and he transforms her into a four-armed goddess, Kali. Kali defeats and curb-stomps Indrajit, and Xena returns to normal. After the battle, Gabrielle tells Eli she's failed the first test for the Love Way. Eli encourages her to keep trying, then goes back home. Gabrielle flings her staff into the river, accepting the Love Way, and Gabrielle and Xena set off on their travels again.

I will now talk about the depiction of Hinduism in Xena. It seems to me to be patchwork, almost. Certain things were depicted, others not, maybe because India was only featured in three episodes of the show.

Nonetheless, here are the accurate bits. 

Indrajit, in Hindu mythology, was the son of Ravana. Ravana wanted his son to be immortal, and so commanded the planets and stars to align just so, for this to happen. Saturn did not, among all the planets, and Indrajit was destined to die at the hands of Rama. He was arrogant, and evil. Neither of those things has changed in Xena, and it’s no great stretch to assume once Ravana died, Indrajit would inherit the kingship. The dresses are similar, except for I believe one such as Indrajit would be dressed in outfits far more LOUD than what was portrayed in Xena. 

All through the episodes, various characters wear flower garlands.

These flower garlands are used in Hinduism for weddings, religious purposes and more. In a wedding, the bride garlands the groom, bestowing half of her spiritual energy, and the groom garlands the bride, bestowing half of his spiritual energy. This symbolizes the union of their two souls. In addition, the groom often wears a garland of money, symbolizing that money has no value compared to that groom. The bride wears a wreath of native flowers around her head, perfuming her hair and representing her auspiciousness. 

For religion, each god has His or Her own flower, and no temple ever has a god without a garland; for example the god Ganesha likes grass garlands.

Leaf garlands are used for medicinal properties. Often, Neem leaf garlands are offered to Kali, because the plants is known to ward off disease. Finally, lime garlands are offered to the goddess Durga, who removes evil spirits. 

Hanuman is the devotee of Lord Rama, and a main character in the Ramayana. He is a popular Hindu god, and versions of him are found across Asia. A popular story of Hanuman is that, while a young boy, he tried to eat the sun, thinking it was a mango. In Xena, while Hanuman is portrayed differently, he is still a devotee of Rama.

What do others think of this depiction of Hinduism in Xena: Warrior Princess?

Edit: Edited for accuracy.

Sources:

http://www.littleindiadirectory.com/ultimate-guide-to-indian-flower-garlands/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indrajit

http://hercules-xena.wikia.com/wiki/Devi_(episode)

http://hercules-xena.wikia.com/wiki/Between_the_Lines

http://hercules-xena.wikia.com/wiki/The_Way

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanuman

#xena warrior princess #xena #gabrielle #krishna #hanuman #indrajit #sanskritinthewild

[mappingthemoon]

Madonna Woman of The Year Full Speech | Billboard Women in Music 2016

(Transcript via Digital Music News. Note: Transcript is not exact and the speech has been edited in this video; see the uncut version here.)

[Crowd applause after introduction by Anderson Cooper, who thanked Madonna for giving him faith during his years as a gay teenager.  Madonna accepts, adjusting microphone stand between her legs.]

“I always feel better with something hard between my legs.”

[Crowd laughs.]

“I stand before you as a doormat. Oh, I mean, as a female entertainer.  Thank you for acknowledging my ability to continue my career for 34 years in the face of blatant sexism and misogyny and constant bullying and relentless abuse.

“It’s mind-blowing to be honored like this after the very public year I’ve had.  I feel stuck, and I feel sad.  And quite frankly, today I feel bloated.”

[Crowd laughs.]

“I didn’t really feel like standing up and getting an award — I didn’t feel worthy of that.  But I knew I had to drag myself out of my bed, put on my boots and walk up here and say thank you to you guys.

“I started off in a difficult time.  People were dying of AIDS everywhere.  It wasn’t safe to be gay, it wasn’t cool to be associated with the gay community.  It was 1979 and New York was a very scary place.

“In the first year I was held at gunpoint, raped on a rooftop with a knife digging into my throat. And I had my apartment broken into and robbed so many times I just stopped locking the door.  In the years that followed, I lost almost every friend I had to AIDS or drugs or gunshot.

“I remember feeling paralyzed. It took me a while to pull myself together and get on with my creative life — to get on with my life. I took comfort in the poetry of Maya Angelou, and the writings of James Baldwin, and in the music of Nina Simone. I remember wishing I had a female peer I could look to for support. Camille Paglia, the famous feminist writer, said I set women back by objectifying myself sexually. So I thought, ‘oh, if you’re a feminist, you don’t have sexuality, you deny it.’ So I said ‘fuck it. I’m a different kind of feminist. I’m a bad feminist.’

“I realized that I could not be a victim any longer. That everything happened for a reason.  And my job was to learn from every shitstorm I wandered into.

“As you can imagine, all these unexpected events not only helped me become the daring woman that stands before you.  But it also reminded me that I am vulnerable.  And in life, there is no real safety except for self-belief.  And, an understanding that I am not the owner of my talents.

“I was of course inspired by Debbie Harry and Chrissie Hynde and Aretha Franklin, but my real muse was David Bowie. He embodied male and female spirit and that suited me just fine. He made me think there were no rules. But I was wrong.

“There are no rules — if you’re a boy.  If you’re a girl, you have to play the game.  What is that game?  You are allowed to be pretty and cute and sexy.  But don’t act too smart.  Don’t have an opinion.  Don’t have an opinion that is out of line with the status quo, at least. You are allowed to be objectified by men and dress like a slut, but don’t own your sluttiness. And do not, I repeat, do not, share your own sexual fantasies with the world.

“Be what men want you to be.  But more importantly, be what women feel comfortable with you being around other men.  And finally, do not age.  Because to age is a sin. You will be criticized, you will be vilified, and you will definitely not be played on the radio.

“When I first became famous, there were nude photos of me in Penthouse and Playboy magazine.  Photos that were taken from art schools that I posed for back in the day to make money.  They weren’t very sexy.

“Eventually I was left alone because I married Sean Penn, and not only would he would bust a cap in your ass, but I was off the market. For a while I was not considered a threat.  Years later, divorced and single — sorry Sean — I made my Erotica album and my Sex book was released.  I remember being the headline of every newspaper and magazine.  Everything I read about myself was damning.  I was called a whore and a witch.  One headline compared me to Satan.  I said, ‘Wait a minute, isn’t Prince running around with fishnets and high heels and lipstick with his butt hanging out?’  Yes, he was. But he was a man.

“This was the first time I truly understood women do not have the same freedom as men.

“People say I’m controversial.  But I think the most controversial thing I have ever done is to stick around.”

[Crowd applause]

“Michael is gone. Tupac is gone. Prince is gone. Whitney is gone. Amy Winehouse is gone. David Bowie is gone. [pause] But I’m still standing.”

[Crowd applause]

“I’m one of the lucky ones and every day I count my blessings.

“What I would like to say to all women here today is this: Women have been so oppressed for so long they believe what men have to say about them. They believe they have to back a man to get the job done. And there are some very good men worth backing, but not because they’re men — because they’re worthy. As women, we have to start appreciating our own worth and each other’s worth. Seek out strong women to befriend, to align yourself with, to learn from, to collaborate with, to be inspired by, to support, and enlightened by.

“It’s not so much about receiving this award as it is having this opportunity to stand before you and say thank you.  Not only to the people who have loved and supported me along the way, you have no idea…you have no idea how much your support means.”

[Starts tearing up.]

“But to the doubters and naysayers and everyone who gave me hell and said I could not, that I would not or I must not — your resistance made me stronger, made me push harder, made me the fighter that I am today. It made me the woman that I am today.

“So thank you.”

#Madonna #feminism #sexism #women #quote #video

[jaykkstuff]

“Dudes you wont believe what just happened to me” you say as you enter the waiting area. “what?” asks Mario helping you out of the outfit and back into the dress. “Suga, he came to me and said he liked the performance and then he asked me for my number” you say as you pat dry your sweaty face. “No way” says Fabi in disbelief. “I am being serious, plus when I told him I would be cheering for him, he straight up told me not to cheer for anyone else only him” you say noticing they are all looking at you in awe. “really?” asked Pia shocked. “Yes dude he straight up told me that, so lets hurry up and get back out there so that we can see them perform.” you say eagerly. “Dude I’m kinda jealous, I could tell he was interested in you because he kept looking at you through out the performance. “ says Maya. “No way really?” you ask in disbelief. “Did you honestly not notice?” asks Pia. “Not while I was on the stage” you say as Mario begins to redo your hair, and Lisa retouches your make up. “I mean he wasn’t the only one starring at you”adds Leo. You look at him confused. “I noticed a lot of other artist looking at you as well, I wouldn’t be surprised if you get a couple more numbers.” he adds teasing you. “yeah right lets just go back out there” you say as you notice everyone is done. 

Once you are back seated in your seat your phone gets a message notification. “Hey here” says Leo giving your phone back. You look at it and immediately read the message. “I’m about to be up on stage I really do hope you’ll cheer for me” you read realizing it’s Suga. You quickly add his name to your contacts and take a selfie showing him your seated and waiting. You send it to him with the message. “I keep my promises” he doesn’t respond back to you but that’s was because he would perform. During BTS’ performance he would often look at you smile or bite his lower lip. He definitely looked like he was having a really good time. You on the other hand clapped for him and cheered loudly. As soon as they finished the award show ended. You were guided back to the waiting area and to clear out. You took time to thank everyone on camera so that you had a proper ending to the video that was going to be edited my Leo and uploaded to your YouTube channel. Then your phone suddenly got another message, so you walked out to read it hoping to see Suga, but before you could read it you are stopped by someone tapping your shoulder. “Yeah?” You question as you turn to face that person. “Hi I’m a huge fan I was hoping to meet you” says Joel from CNCO, the entire group was there too. “Oh hi how are you thank you so much” you say shaking their hands. “We are great we love your music.” Adds Richard. Thank you same here I enjoy your music” you say nicely and you spot Suga outside BTS’ waiting area. “Do you want a picture?” You ask them. And they all nod in agreement. “Where is everyone else?” Asks Joel curiously. “Inside the waiting room” you say as you pose for a picture. “Feel free to go in and say hi, it was nice meeting you all” you say as you signal for them to go inside to meet the girls. You notice Suga is starring at you again. So you give him a little wave. And he smiles at you softly. You look at your phone and read his comment. “If you have time after come see me I’ll be by the waiting area.” You took this as your signal to go up to him.

“You did great” you say as you approach him. “Thanks, I see you guys are popular” he says signaling towards your waiting area. “Yeah you could say so. However did you hear how loud the army was out there?” You say referring to the hundreds of fans. This makes him giggle. “Look I um?” you say nervously. He looks at you a little confused. “When are you going back to korea?” You ask him. “In three days why?” He asks you. “Are you staying in Vegas?” You ask him. “No LA” he says still confused. You smile wide “If your not busy tomorrow afternoon, do you maybe want to escape for a little bit?” You ask him tilting your head towards the group. He looks at you with a small smile then towards the groups waiting area. “I think I can escape” he says making you giggle. “I want to show you my studio” you say excited. “Your studio?” He questions. “Yeah i want you to see it” you say giggling. “Okay sure, txt me the address” he says with a smile. “Cool so I’ll order us some Gimbapa and some lamb skewers” you say excited. He looks at you with wide eyes, “you like korean food?” He asks. “Yeah or do you want to eat something else?” You ask him confused. “No no Korean food is good” he says with a shy smile. “Good then I can’t wait for you to see my studio.” You say excited. “Ah thanks for the selfie, you looked really beautiful” he says shyly. “Oh thanks, I keep my promises” you add teasing him. “Oh hey, Y/n” you hear Jimin say as he and the rest of the group exit the waiting area. “Hi” you say with a wide smile. “Suga Hyung we leaving now” he adds. Making Suga nod in understanding. “I have to go now” says Suga with a sad smile. “Okay I’ll see you tomorrow?” You question and he nods. “Yes” he adds you notice he is about to walk away so you take his wrist and lightly pull on it a little bit he looks at you confused. “I want to hug you” you say softly. He looks at you and smiles. “Why haven’t you?” He asks in a bit of a cocky tone. You look at him and giggle as he opens his arms signaling for you to hug him. You give him a warm hug and he doesn’t hesitate to hug you back.The hug itself was fast but it seemed like it lasted for a little while. You didn’t want to let go but you knew they were waiting for him. “I’ll see you tomorrow” he says softly once he lets you go. “Bye Y/n!” You hear the rest of the group tease as they wave. “Bye bye” you say waving at them giggling.

BTS POV:

“Suga Hyung” sings Jimin teasing Suga. “What?” Says Suga pretending to be oblivious. “You got a hug from one of the most beautiful girls in the world” he adds exaggerated. “Yeah and?” asks Suga rhetorically. “And she seems to really like you” adds Jin. “Your surprised why?” Asks Suga rhetorically. “Because you aren’t the one to take the initiative to talk to people” adds RM. “yeah well she seemed nice enough” adds Suga shrugging off his comment. “Your so lucky” adds Jungkook. “You have no idea, she invited me to go check out her studio” says Suga as if it’s no big deal. “What? I wanna go!” whines J-hope. “Nope, only me” says Suga. “Im jealous of you hyung, she’s so beautiful and she is so nice. I’ve seen her videos on YouTube, she is definitely your ideal type trust me” says Jungkook patting Sugas back in encouragement. “You think so?” Asks Suga surprised. “Oh yeah but I’ll let you figure it out for yourself” adds Jungkook.

Y/n POV:

After your flight back to LA you decided to take a shower and then the group was going to be doing an Instagram live. You wore your Mickey Mouse pijama set that had a crop top and shorts. “Are you done?” Asks Pia as you enter the living room. “Yeah lets get started” you say as you sit down on the sofa next to Maya. Your phone gets a new txt message so you open it while Pia is setting up the phone on the tripod. You notice it’s from Suga, “hope you got home safe” you read as a huge smile is plastered on your face. “Alright Y/n, txt your boyfriend back and put the phone away” says Pia as she is about to start the live. You giggle at her comment as you txt him back. “I did get back to LA safely I hope you did too. Thank you again for talking to me. I’m going to go live soon on Instagram, is there anyway we can face time later today?” You send as you put the phone in between your crossed thighs. “Ready now?” Questions Fabi as you nod. Pia turns on the live and sits in the middle of Fabi and Maya. “Hello fam base!” Says Fabi with excitement as you all wave. “So we are going to wait for a little while for more people to join the live.” Adds Pia while you nod. Your phone begins to vibrate as you get another txt message. You look down at it and decided to read the message. “Yeah we got to LA safely. we can FaceTime later let me know when” you read the message and smile. “Since you have your phone with you how about you log into Instagram and read the comments on the live as they show up” says Pia noticing your on the phone. “Ah yeah yeah okay” you say flustered as Maya giggles at your response. “So we want to start by saying thank you all for your constant support and love” says Pia. “We have some special announcements to make today but first we want to talk to you all so send in some questions on the live” you say. “Today we got to perform at the Billboard awards. It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever experienced” says Maya. “I know right it was insane” adds Fabi equally as excited. “Agreed do we have any questions?” Pia asks you.

After answering a couple of questions from the live you decide to to make your announcement. “So we said we had an announcement to make” you say trying to get them back on track. “Yes yes of course” says Maya tryna to calm herself down from the laughter. “Yes so we want to let everyone know that we will be touring again!” Says Pia as everyone cheers and claps. “Check out our website for more information on tickets” she adds. “We have been prepping for this tour for about 3 months now and we are so excited to see everyone of you.” Adds Fabi. “We will have our album release soon so please be on the look out for that and follow us on Twitter for more information.” You say giving the camera a thumbs up. “Yes thank you again for all the love and support. We love you all so much” says Maya as you all wave goodbye.

[thegloober]

Bodied

Part rap musical, part social satire, with elements of Westerns and kung fu pictures, “Bodied” is one of the funniest, freest movies of the year. It’s so consistently audacious that when you get towards the end of its overstuffed running time and realize it actually wants to be the kind of film it mocks—a Tarzan fantasy along the lines of “8 Mile,” the biography of Eminem, who helped produce this very motion picture—you can’t but be disappointed. But there’s still plenty to admire. 

We first meet the film’s redheaded Anglo hero, hip-hop fan Adam Merkin (Calum Worthy), attending an underground rap battle with his girlfriend, fellow grad student Maya (Rory Uphold). Adam convinces one of the victorious African-American rappers, a quasi-legend who goes by Behn Grym (Jackie Long), to be interviewed for his thesis about “the very poetic use of the n-word in battle rap.” “There are plenty of n-words you could ask about the n-word,” Grym retorts. This is one of many lines in “Bodied” with a poet’s sense of how changing the context of a word can alter its intent. Written by Alex Larsen, a Toronto writer who raps as Kid Twist, and directed by Joseph Kahn, a music video veteran, this is a film about language as power. It’s about how words are used and abused, originated and appropriated, and how terms can seem like literary abstractions in one context and incitements to violence in another. 

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Our first object lesson arrives when another white wannabe rapper challenges Behn to a battle in the parking lot outside the show, honking cornball rhymes and spiraling his hands over the brim of his sideways ball cap. It’s like one of those ritualized moments in an old Western where a young braggart challenges a world-weary gunslinger to a draw (the punk even has an outlaw’s pseudonym, Billy Pistols). Behn keeps his guns holstered. Adam, a more upscale version of this very same pest, steps up in Behn’s place and vanquishes the upstart, to his own surprise as well as everybody else’s. The victory goes viral on social media, triggering a formal offer to battle again and sparking visions of grandeur in the mind of Adam, a bookish young poet who’s lived his life in the shadow of his dad, a famous novelist and professor who teaches at the same school Adam is attending (he’s played by Anthony Michael Hall, who would’ve starred as Adam back in the day). 

Adam treats his upcoming face-off with a Korean-American rapper named Prospek (rapper-actor Dumbfoundead) like a final exam that he can ace through research and sheer nerve. Ace it he does, though at a cost, reaching for stereotypes he swore he’d avoid. “At least you knew I was Korean,” Prospek tells Adam afterward. “As far as I’m concerned, that’s culturally sensitive by battle rap standards.” But even Prospek isn’t sold on the idea that rappers are merely performers. When he raises his glass in toast and speaks in Korean, his subtitle reads, “You’re a racist piece of shit.” “Thanks, man!” chirps Adam.

This poses a question that scholars of hip-hop as well as rock, stand-up comedy, and transgressive theater and cinema have all had to grapple with: if your art is chum to the reptile brain, and your best rhymes inflict emotional pain, are you an artist, or are you a sadist? And do casualties get to complain? 

The best parts of “Bodied” put those questions under a microscope and examine it through prisms of varied life experience. These are represented by the multicultural bomber crew that orbits Behn, including zaftig Black female rapper Devine Write (Shoniqua Shandai); Latinx rapper Che Corleone (Walter Perez), who’s as horny as he is loquacious; and Maya, who tags along until the rancid atmosphere makes her sick. A subplot finds Devine and Che bonding over how tired they are of their adversaries’ racist and sexist material, then coming up with a smart way to mock them in the arena. Adam and Behn continue their conversations about whether a the n-word is defused if a Black man uses it, and if it’s marginally more acceptable for an Asian or Latinx rapper to use it. “There’s a difference between using the word and referencing the word,” Behn warns Adam. But who gets to decide when the line’s been crossed?

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At one point, “Bodied” pits Behn against a towering white rapper who spews bigoted slurs that are too gleeful to be dismissed as being “in character.” It’s clear he’s exploiting a loophole that allows him to shout racist things at nonwhite people without getting punched in the face. But is the problem his ideas, or his loutish presentation? When Adam goes in the ring and makes jokes about Asians having slanted eyes and eating dogs, is it permissible because he’s a shrimpy academic who puts giant inflatable air quotes around the racism, and makes sure to let everyone know it’s a put-on? Do nonwhite rappers get a pass for racist tropes, and if so, why? What about straight men who use homophobic or gendered insults? And what of the drive to humiliate and dominate, a pastime that crosses experiential lines?

“I don’t see how anybody could be a good person when they spend all of their time thinking of horrible things to say about someone,” Maya tells Adam in the very first scene. It’s one of many moments where a character that other films would treat as a killjoy turns out to be a righteous person who’s asking valid questions. Maya gets skewered in “Bodied,” a film that reserves special ire for posturing campus leftists. She’s a snarky vegan who distinguishes between Tupac and Assata Shakur right before shuddering in revulsion at a Black homeless man sleeping on a bench. But just when you’re about to write her off as the usual no-fun girlfriend, you realize Adam is guilty of every sin she accuses him of committing, from exoticizing Black men and parroting sexist and homophobic language to acting as if slurs magically turn harmless when you wave the wand of “performance” over them. Adam never gives himself a rap name in “Bodied,” but another character’s unsolicited label suits him: MC Microaggression.

The most impressive things about “Bodied” are its control of tone and pace, its love of language, and its comfort with every kind of humor. It boasts intellectualized wordplay that fuses poetry and rap with Shakespearean constructions in which language examines itself. But it also has double-takes, pratfalls, eruptions of cartoonish rage and fear, and sight gags that amplify scenes that were already funny, as when our heroes check out a skid row motel while trying not to seem nervous: Kahn cuts to a man peeing on the sidewalk, a junkie shooting up, and an obviously fake giant waterbug scuttling across the check-in desk not once, but twice. It’s Abbott and Costello on Skid Row.

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Larsen’s script gets high on its own supply, letting Adam make like Neo in the “Matrix” trilogy and challenge nonwhite masters for dominance in an art he’s barely begun to practice. Both Adam and the script that tells his story have a killer instinct for the delusions of every character, regardless of race, class or gender; but when the time comes to stop  drawing blood with knife flicks, turn the blade inward and plunge it deep, “Bodied” chokes. Still, scene for scene, this is a remarkable film, superbly acted, directed, photographed and edited, thought provoking but unpretentious. It holds a mirror up to itself as well as to hip-hop culture, and stares until it blinks.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/bodied/

[moonmurph-gamedev]

Evaluation of Process

Throughout Unit 2 I’ve learnt lots of new skills and a brief understanding of different programs such as Maya & ZBrush. This is my first time creating a character so I was also developing my own personal work flow through this Unit.

Preproduction

I started my process with preproduction specifically creating mind maps of different ideas for both my protagonist and antagonist. I knew I wanted to create characters that would be used in my game next year so they both needed to suit the setting of the game.

I feel mind maps are a great way of organizing my ideas and I will definitely continue to use them as part of my creative process. It really helps to have a clear map of the initial idea and then branch off. Before creating a character, you want to have a solid concrete idea of exactly what you’re creating so it’s important to get your preproduction done right to not waste time.

In my mind map I looked at possible motivations, attacks and backgrounds for my character. I also related my ideas to existing characters in pop culture and games and took inspiration from them. I really liked using the mind map and it helped me narrow down an exact idea for my character. I personally like to have a clear idea in my head before I begin drawing my character to save time.

Once I had settled on an idea for my character I began searching tags I’d used in my mind map and used Pinterest to create mood boards. It was great having visual references for my ideas and seeing what other people tend to use. This was also the part of the process where I decided to base the character’s weapons around the “Player 1 & 2” Pink and blue arcade guns.

This is just one of four different mood boards that I created. I added small annotation to point out points I liked about the images and went into more detail about them on my blog post. Mood boards are seen commonly in the industry especially when creating concept art for characters.

After creating mood boards I went into Photoshop to begin the concept art. I’m quite familiar with Photoshop so I was able to get right into finding a pose and body type that I liked. I decided to settle on a smaller body type instead of the large bulky muscular male you typically see in video games. This is just because I’ve planned for his attacks to be quite mobile and feel it’ll work better for the animation.

This simple turnaround helped a lot later on the in the modelling process as I was able to open the PNGs into the image plane on Maya. I can’t imagine modelling without a reference open directly in Maya and this is something I’ll probably always use in the future. I really enjoyed using Photoshop and it’s definitely my go to program when doing anything art related. Since I created this art a few months ago and have been practicing almost daily I found my drawing and Photoshop skills have improved a lot since then. Over the summer I plan on going back over and redrawing my character to create higher quality art. I’ll also begin the process of drawing different poses to show off his personality and possible animation ideas. This will help a lot next year when we begin to animate our character in UE4 and work on creating our game prototype. My game design document already has a list of attack ideas but it’ll be nice to have concept art included.

In a VICE interview with Bill Petras (Art director for Overwatch) and Arnold Tsang (Character-concept artist) they spoke about their role as artists in the games development and the importance of concept art.

“One of the main jobs that we do as art directors is having a vision for what the game looks like, of what the heroes look like, the feeling of the animation, the color palette, and the architecture of the buildings of the world.” And often that means putting ink to paper: “A lot of times the art directors themselves will do a painting of a concept to show a vision to the team. That’s step one.” –Bill Petras

Arnold Tsang speaks about how the concept art is important for making the vision and idea of the game clear to the other developers.

“Early on, our first job is to inspire and rally the team behind our vision. The development of the style guide is a huge first step in getting our feet on the ground for Overwatch.” Setting down the core of the game’s look is an incredibly important part of the early process. “After we had the core tenets in place,” says Tsang, “we worked with the engineers and some of the animators to start to realize that content and make visual targets that start to realize what we set out to do in the style guide. And we saw how things worked in the game engine, and how these characters moved and acted.” –Arnold Tsang

When we have an idea in our head it might be obvious to us what the character looks and moves like but to others it’s not clear at all so concept art is integral for making that vision clearer to others. In the industry where you have specialised modellers, programmers and animators it’s important everyone is on the same wavelength. You wouldn’t start building a game without a games design document and you wouldn’t start creating a character without completing preproduction.

Maya

When I finished preproduction I moved into the next stage of modelling my character in Maya. I also installed the student version at home so I can continue working on my model outside of college. I opened the turnaround images and began shaping from a simple cube. There are plenty of different methods of creating a character and everyone has a different workflow but I decided to stick with this recommended method as it’s good for beginners like myself. I extruded and multi cut the shape to create a simple humanoid shape and then started adding finer details such as clothing later on. I had to go back a few times to recreate certain sections of the model. I had issues with multi-facing where Maya placed faces underneath faces and I had to slowly go through the whole model deleting these issues. It was also a challenge dealing with edge loops and topology. I’ve never dealt with it before so it was a lot of trial and error figuring out what works.

My main issue with modelling is I chose to create an organic human shaped character but my result was a lot blockier and square especially in the waist/torso area.

Even with some adjustments I wasn’t 100% happy with my result. I also struggled a lot on the fingers as they were too sharp and pointed and almost resembled claws. I used MudBox which detected errors in my model so I could go back into Maya and fix them. This however was a difficult process as I had to go back and remodel entire sections again. I was getting frustrated with my model and did quite a large rework.

This model although fixed is a lot less detailed and not what I envisioned for my character. I decided instead of beginning again I’ll just begin the UV process as that will take a while and I was beginning to run out of time. I repeated my preproduction and modelling process with my villain character. I found the second time around was considerably quicker as I wasn’t relearning all the hotkeys and jargon.

A huge mistake I made with my first UVs was doing the front, back and side as three large chunks. I didn’t fully understand how the UVs related to the texture maps and so I didn’t see how much of an issue the overlap caused until I placed the image onto the UV. You can see the grey areas where the black pants and grey accents share a UV and cause issues. I had to delete these UVs and looked into other methods.

I used planar mapping and unfolding the different pieces of my model to create clear separate sections. This thankfully allowed me to avoid the same mistake I made without any overlap.

The UV process was a long task but essential for creating a character. I now have a better understanding of how to do it and how it relates to textures and painting the character later on. In the future I’ll be a lot quicker at the process. Like most of Maya it was simply a learning curve but the best way of learning a new program is by practice.

ZBrush

The next step after finishing my UVs was exporting my model as an OBJ and opening it in ZBrush. I decided to keep the Hair and Eyes as separate subtools.

My first attempt at Polypainting was rough as I didn’t fully understand the tools and brushes I was using. I looked at different methods online and went back over my model. I found the ZBrush youtube channel as a great resource as they do really quick tutorials on the different tools in ZBrush.

The spotlight is a really powerful tool that allows you to paint directly onto the model with other images. You can scale, rotate and adjust these images and apply them directly onto the model with total control. I was using a tablet too so the amount of pressure I applied also determined how strong the brush was. I saw the potential with the insane detail you could put into the skin with ZBrush. I’m not going for a super realistic human character though so I didn’t want to add loads of blemishes so just simple colours and blush was enough for me.

My favourite tools and brushes in ZBrush was the DamStandard, Curve and Curvepinch brushes. This was useful for creating folds around the eyes and also definition on the welded sections of the face. I spent a lot of time experimenting with different brushes but next time I create a character. Surface, Noise Editor and the Deformation tools were also great ways of quickly editing large portions of the model.

Because I like Photoshop so much I decided to go back on the hair and see if I could try a different method of texturing them. I opened the UV as a png and a simple hair texture with Photoshop brushes.

I like the different layers of opacity and think it looks more interesting than just block opaque colour. I’ll probably stick to ZBrush in the future however as it’s a much more powerful tool than Photoshop.

I was able to create the texture maps from Polypaint and then create Normal maps directly in ZBrush. If I wanted to neaten up or edit my textures, I could open the JPEG directly in Photoshop and paint on that.

Conclusion

I really enjoyed this Unit. I found it really interesting to go from having a character concept to a 3D model. It was my first time ever modelling something as complex as a character and I’m really proud it’s my own original idea and not an already existing character.

I didn’t have much trouble preproduction with generating ideas and creating mind maps/mood boards. The majority of my issues this Unit came in the production phase but that was mainly due to inexperience and some issues with the programs. I have however begun to enjoy using ZBrush after painting my character.

I got quite frustrated at points as I felt I wasn’t at the quality I wanted. I’m still not happy with the end product but I now have a much better understanding of the tools and programs and know I could work at a faster pace. I’m planning over the summer to do a full rework of my hero character.

As my game concept has changed my characters have changed slightly. I want to go for simpler cartoony proportions for my hero instead of realistic. I think this style would suit my game better. I also think a more cartoony player character will blend better with my very wacky cartoony robot villain. At the moment they contrast and look like they’re from different games.

I’m excited to redesign my character and think this will a much better style for my game concept. I think it’ll also be great for creating fun dynamic animations as the games attacks and mechanics I have planned are very fast paced and colourful.

#unit2