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ghostietea · 3 years

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Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #saki hanajima #machi kuragi #hatsuharu sohma #actually autistic #meta

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softmary · 3 years

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I HAVE NO LIFE AND I NEED VALIDATION SO HERE

TW: Cringe. So much cringe. Why did I do this-

How I think I would get along with the slashers if they somehow spared me because of an unfitting reason that only happens on my imagination because irl they would totally destroy me:

Jason Voorhees: in a relationship? If he wanted to, I wouldn't turn him down! I feel like the motherly/housewife is a type he can like. Then again, this might just be me trying to convince myself that I'm worth it- If we were just friends I'd bring stuff he might enjoy, since I don't think there are many things to do on Crystal Lake other than killing horny teenagers-

Thomas Hewitt: MARRY ME I wouldn't mind being in a relatioship with him and I'm hoping he'd like me back 👉🏻👈🏻 As friends we would get along pretty well! I wouldn't yell at him or insult him, so there is a pretty good chance of becoming closer!

Bubba Sawyer: I'm not so sure about a relationship as I see him on a more "I want to care for you as if you were my child" way, ✨but✨ maybe I would accept being his gf because how can I say no to that face 🥺 As friends? Probably besties! He seems to be more sensitive and dependant than the other slashers, so I'd definetly cuddle him when he is feeling sad and would show him my seashell collection. I think he would enjoy it <:

Freddy Krueger: N O. He would be SO mean to me. I just know I would be his laughing stock. I can just hear him calling me "half-pint", "hairball", "round face", etc >:( He teases me because of my height because he is insecure about his own 🙄

Charles Lee Ray (AKA Chucky): a lovable jerk, but I don't see myself in a relationship with him- Would we get along, though? Eeeh... I'm not sure. If anything, he would stand me and I would stand him, but maybe we could get along even if we weren't the closest of friends.

Tiffany Valentine: I'm straight and she gives me mom vibes, so I'm afraid not :( Friends? Probably! She is very sweet and supportive, so I'd love to be adopted by her try to befriend her!

Michael Myers: I'm not sure if I'd accept being on a relationship with him... Don't get me wrong, he is v handsome 😳 it's just that he doesn't seem to be kind of guy to be very affectionate and I feel like he is very easely annoyed, so unless he forces me into a relationship, I'll stay single- Plus, I don't think I'm his type to be perfectly honest, haha... Friends? I don't think so. Again, he would stand me and that's good because that means I survive. Basically: "You are not annoying enough for me to murder you, but don't test your luck." but if he was willing to try, I'd totally give him a chance!

Carrie White: I don't think I'd be in a relationship with her. Not only because I'm straight, but because I think we would be better off as friends. I myself have been bullied back in highschool (though I didn't have it as rough as her) and I like to think that I'm nice, so we could work a friendship! I'm 99% sure that she doesn't enjoy killing people who haven't wronged her, so maybe we could even become besties :D

Bo Sinclair: I... don't think we could be in a relationship. We are polar opposites and while I love that dynamic, we are WAY too different. I don't blame him for being like that because he had a rough life and his shitty parents basically pushed him into those anger issues. A friendship? Again, I'm unsure. If he is willing to try and be nice to me, I'll give him a chance!

Vincent Sinclair: now this is a Sincalir I can get around 😳🕶🤏🏻 If he wants me to be with him, you won't see me turning him down. He is reserved yet a little hot headed if pushed to his limit, just like me, so being in the same room with him without saying anything and just cuddling or observing him while he works is really not problem for me!

Lester Sinclair: just like Bubba, he is my child, a feral one. Seriously, this man is a possum and I love that. We would get along perfectly because even if I'm quiet and well behaved I'm just as weird as he is- We would go to the woods to catch bugs and come back to the town covered in dirt from head to toe and Bo wouldn't let us in so we would end up stargazing on his truck before falling asleep. A relationship with him is tangible! But I'd rather stay as friends.

Pennywise (2017): another lovable jerk who happens to also be feral. I would be in a relationship with him if he wanted to. As friends he would be so chaotic and would tease me by scaring the crap out of me any chance he got, thought he would probably do the same if we were to be bf & gf. No, I don't care that he is actually a giant spider. He is a shape-shifter so it doesn't matter.

Pennywise (1990): He gives me unhealthy grandpa vibes, so I don't think I would be in a relationship with him. I don't think he'd ask me out because I'm probably no this type either, lmao. As friends? Maybe... maybe not... if he spared me it has to be for a reason, so maybe we could work something out.

Yautja (any of them!!): yes. Of course. Absolutely. Please take me away. Boyfriend material right there. I would LOVE to be in a relationship with one of them! Though, if I'm being realistic here I don't think they would like me. I'm way too small, weak and clumsy to be likeable and if I don't meet the human standards, I doubt I'd meet the yautja ones, haha... If I'm lucky I might be able to befriend one.

Brahms: very handsome BOY (wink wink nudge nudge. Please, don't block me 😔) I would accept, basically because he would make me choose between staying or getting murdered in cold blood. He is a stinky rat but I love him anyways. It could work because he is just as touch starved as I am. But I'm afraid he can be a lil' too horny sometimes- I would have to introduce him to the magical world of ✨personal space✨ and ✨consent✨ I've struggled with its meaning before, I know what I'm doing- As a nanny I would be basically the mom to an adult who is twice my size and that would tease me for it and who is unable to say "No" to him after he does that pose where he has both arms behind his back-

#I tried my best to keep it real #You don't know how much I struggled not to write that my crushes all love me #The yautja one was painful why do I like to torture myself-

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aloera · 3 years

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The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

#AHH ive wanted to answer these for so long...... bro fr i was so happy when u sent these!!! like wow!! finally got sent one!!!#sorry for how long the responses are idk how to be concise #asks #anon #a(lore)a

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jackpotgirl · 4 years

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You can pry cancel culture criticism out of my cold, dead, leftist hands.

So the Orange Menace and The Author Who Must Not Be Named complain about cancel culture and now everyone who also has issues with that certain (online)cultural phenomenon is suddenly on the wrong side of the argument by association.

I’m not here for it.

To preface this: Politically I am, and always have been, deeply and staunchly left-wing. I am German, hence why I didn’t grow up in the US-style two party system where it’s pick one, the other or bust, but even so, as in any political landscape, the left and right spheres very much exist here as well and I still had to find my place within either of them.

Since I could think politically, left is how I aligned myself, left is what I learned from my mother and left is what I learned feels “right” to me from my education and my walking through the world. I believe people are and should be regarded equally, everyone deserves fair and equitable treatment, the same chances and opportunities, no matter their sexual organs, skin colour, religious upbringing or mental or physical capabilities. I will discuss with people who disagree on any of those beliefs and always have. I have spoken up against injustice and bad behaviour vehemently and loudly in person, out in the world, on multiple occasions.

Sometimes, I have even tweeted about people who I thought behaved/are behaving badly or just are terrible human beings, period. Yet, I have never @ -ed a single one of them when the time came to formerly cancel and make it Twitter-official.

That’s because generally, I have severe issues with canceling humans and with cancel culture as a social practice, especially (and for the sake of this, let’s call it “essay”) the way it presents itself online at this moment in time.

Why? Because a) I don’t believe it ultimately does any good to dogpile on humans directly on the internet (corporations are another thing!) and b) I kinda-sorta-actually-really dislike mob justice. Figures.

I get wanting to hold horrible people accountable, I do! And often I have that same want. But especially in the social media sphere and Twitter in particular, that very understandable desire and action towards it, is getting warped, perverted and used to literally strip humans of their existence or right to existence with no questions asked and zero due diligence. And often, it doesn’t ultimately affect the big baddies who many people feel deserve it… but many that arguably don’t. (Or at least not in the current severity.)

The sad truth is, horrible people in power are there for a reason. They have powerful networks, allies and friends and unless they are actionably liable for crimes, your tweets will do little to take that power away from them. Still, in those cases I get the need to voice thoughts, online and IRL. Like I said, I feel that need too, that desire to hold people accountable. I did tweet on such matters as well (both Wein- and Eppstein come to mind and also the Orange President). So, I’m far from opposed to public, digital criticism of powerful people who misuse power or say/do terrible things.

But all of this to say… I think the bad aspects of cancel culture far outweigh those that are deemed good. And I feel deeply uncomfortable watching the whole concept being turned into a partisan issue in real time, where criticising or taking a stance against “cancel culture”™ is being regarded as an alt-right/conservative (and thereby deplorable) viewpoint.

Because this means that I, being the leftie that I am, now feel a certain pressure to align with the folks that say: “There’s no such thing as cancel culture, it’s consequences culture and it’s finally holding old white people accountable for their actions... and even if cancel culture was theoretically real, canceling those bad white people is the right thing to do and also the best way to go about it, so screw you, cancel culture is our new corrective measure for society and you’re just an old white racist in a liberal millennial suit if you think otherwise”.

And for obvious reasons, I deeply disagree with that statement.

Because the nuance I think this topic and the discussion about it deserves and actively calls for is stripped way by making it a left v right thing. It’s boiling a very complicated, fairly new concept (at least in scope and platform, if not principle) down to black and white. It’s this or the other, make your choice now or you have to turn in your democrat-card.

And I can not in good conscience go that way. It’s like if, let’s say on the mask issue, the right agreed it was the best thing to do and the left felt it was an ultimately futile action secretly designed to make us all sheep (or whatever the reason is people dislike wearing masks to help keep their fellow humans safe). Now, with things being reversed, I feel pretty okay about wearing my mask and defending it. But if it wasn’t, I would still believe wearing a mask is the decent thing to do but the rest of the political sphere I live in, would be opposed to that view and would actively speak out against “people like me”. And where does that leave me?

That’s what I’m afraid of happening with the cancel culture issue. Now, I’d like to explain why.

1. Targets

In an ideal world, cancel culture would indeed be consequence culture and hold people accountable who are, for example, consistently and decidedly racist, whatever-phobic, abusive and/or exploitive, etc. Where it does take these people to task (Trump, JK Rowling, you name it), it should be a corrective measure that creates consequences for bad behavior and ideally repels repeat bad behaviour and maybe even removes those characters from positions of power. (I don’t think it even achieves that most of the time but more on that later.)

Anyway, in an ideal world, that would be the shiny side of the coin. The not-so-shiny one is already presenting itself in the form of pitchforks and unchecked, un-processed vigilante justice. And often aimed at targets that do not deserve it. Those could be:

people who misspoke or behaved in any undesirable way due to ignorance on the current issue but didn’t actively mean harm

people who “committed” minor offences that have been vastly overstated by the community that has taken offense or those that have committed those offences years ago and have already went through change and growth

people who are very young, who have not yet developed the proper capabilities to grasp the scope and weight of their negative actions and words and have maybe been educated by bad actors (read: children)

people that are being mistaken for other offenders (maybe due to the same name or other unfortunate misunderstandings)

people who are friends/family of the accused cancellee who are deemed guilty by association OR are being hounded with vicious tweets about their loved ones and/or pressured to renounce them in public (also children who get bullied online and in school for their parent’s offenses)

people who are victims of smear campaigns

And another thing about targets: it’s patently untrue that the only people who get cancelled are old white cis-folk/republicans who deserve it. Cancel culture really doesn’t discriminate. And it’s not just liberals canceling conservatives, in fact the alt-right LOVES to cancel people.

And it’s also not just white adults getting cancelled. It’s also children, POC and people of all sexualities etc. And not just by the alt-right, mind you, but often by their (sometimes heavily over-zealous) peers.

“This only affects right-wing asshole republicans and racists and is therefore a good thing” is not something that can be generalized for a talking point or a pro-argument in the discussion about cancel culture because it’s BLATANTLY inaccurate.

And also, I’d argue that it’s quite disingenuous to be pro-something as long as it happens to people you disagree with or dislike.

And I’m not talking “This person that evidently and consistently does shitty things/is actually a criminal/is continuously doing harmful things and perpetuating awful behaviour unchecked”, I am talking “This person disagrees with me on something or said a dumb thing and I generally dislike what they stand for”. Because if you follow that second modell, it never stops, where do you draw the line on what a just punishable offense is? In the end you’ll feel righteous about cancelling whoever - and who’s to say you won’t be next?

Which brings me to my next point.

2. Offenses

I will start this off with a small reminder, and I’ll quote scripture even though I am not religious, but it’s an old wisdom that is true no matter what book it’s from:

“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.” John 8:7

(Yet again, I am not talking about the big, proven baddies, I am referring to the mundane and minorly offensive targets.)

IF we were to establish cancel culture as our number one corrective measure of human behavior, as a desired tool in the left sphere, upheld and perpetrated by the left who are morally right (which I think we are, guys) to people who a) think differently and also b) don’t generally think differently, read: other left-minded liberal democrats etc., WHO decides on the punishable offenses?

The answer is no one. And also everyone. Because cancel culture is inherently anarchic.

Any one person within online cancel culture can and will cast the first stone at whomever they deem deserving of it. If their personal bar of deplorable behavior is met, they then aim to cancel, or otherwise call-out/spill the tea™/expose and if those people know the right trigger words to set the machine in motion, the cancel train will choo-choo down the track. Others will jump on the bandwagon. Also the bigger the platform of the “canceler”, the more other people will pile on the cancelee.

And now, if everyone can decide and entice cancellation about things that they personally deem punishable, there is a very, very real risk of lack of perspective. Canceler A might draw the line at a racial slur, Canceler B might draw the line at a racially insensitive statement made in jest, Canceler C might find a tweet you made six years ago when you were an idiot kid and decide it’s time you got knocked down a peg. The scope is entirely lost. And everyone can suddenly become judge, jury and executioner.

And the smaller the possible cancelable offense, the more people run the risk of becoming accused. And since NOBODY is perfect (no matter how visibly enlightened they might seem), this could very well come down to the molecular level of society. At the end of it, if we were to dramatise the point, one day, once the wheel has spun far enough, everyone could get cancelled for everything and by that point, the act of cancelling itself becomes as broadly harmful as it becomes totally moot. If everyone is getting cancelled, what does it ultimately mean? Nothing. It’s just a bunch of people telling each other to kill themselves on the internet.

Furthermore, there’s a very real risk of both overstating harm and sadly also straight-up making up things to lend one’s accusations more weight. Another unfortunate side-effect that can be unthinkably harmful, especially in combination with false and/or overstated accusations, is cancel culture’s tendency to forgo due process. There is an alarming trend of someone making an accusation and the cancelation following immediately with no questions asked.

Based on the “Believe The Victim”-principle (which in itself is an important first response especially in cases that are brought to law enforcement and in private and is at its core a good thing!), it’s turning into: “Believe Whatever Anybody Online Says About Somebody Else As Long As They Call The Other Person An Abuser” and more and more commonly, people don’t even demand “receipts” anymore.

To me at least, it seemed until recently actual evidence was asked for and expected when allegations were made but I’m noticing more and more that people will just take accusers at their word and start up the cancel machine without a) asking for proof or b) waiting to hear the other side. Due diligence?! Never heard of her.

And even if there are receipts, tweets, screenshots and the like, or multiple corroborating statements by other people - often the issue of overstated harm, hyperbole and embellishment, as well as lack of scope or context or debate/discussion, is very real. And, like, seriously guys, the things people have been canceled for… in many instances, the punishment simply doesn’t match the crime. (*cough* Hamilton *cough*)

3. Consequences

The consequences for the really big bad fish (unless they committed actual felonies that can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt in the court of law) are relatively overseeable. Sales might take a hit, some projects/endorsements might be dropped, public opinion will be tarnished in certain spheres. Ideally, as with Weinstein for example, their cancellation plus the subsequent criminal proceedings, will put an offender behind bars. (Read: shiny side of the coin.)

Un-ideally, the small fish who have done only relative harm in comparison to the big bads (and could still be educated and given the tools and incentive to do better), those without a support system, without inherent power, without the faculties to navigate their own cancellation, can lose anything from their source of income, to their minds, to their lives. One example is Canadian Adult actress August Ames that was canceled over an ill-advised borderline homophobic tweet who h*nged herself because she couldn’t deal with the onslaught of online bullying and abuse coming her way.

In that instance, cancel culture didn’t make the world a better place, it merely led to someone to committing su*cide. Now, I’m not saying that this is the most common consequence but it is one and to close your eyes to how harmful the practice of cancel culture can be is also disingenuous. Because it legitimises this outcome and outcomes alike.

Now taking the argument that “consequence” as the actual meaning of “cancel” in “cancel culture” and its ultimate goal, I can see why it’s great to make that case. Consequences, especially for in-your-face assholery/actual abuse/racism etc., are an amazing and desirable thing.

People being held accountable for bad behaviour is so satisfying and it’s RIGHT that they would be. And boy, oh boy — righteous, justified anger at a person or their actions is a great feeling, especially if the desire for a certain kind of revenge or punishment is then fulfilled. In a lot of cases, I, too, think it’s awesome. Certain individuals should rot behind bars forever, facing their horrible crimes every day anew until they die a sad, lonely death. Or at least lose their job and good public opinion. Some people do or say such terrible things that thousands of tweets spewing abuse back at them at times seems like a very adequate punishment to me, I’m not even gonna lie.

BUT at the same time: Ignorant kids or people who actively meant no harm, those people who still have the capacity to grow and change and learn, getting the same exact number of abusive tweets/losing their job and good public opinion/their right to exist as punishment for their mistakes doesn’t hit the same. At least to me.

The cancel culture™-“one-size-outrage-fits-all-crimes”-way of casting judgement is objectively wrong if you take a second to look at it from a more nuanced perspective and I seriously don’t think this should be a divisive statement. This is what nearly all justice systems in the WORLD are based on.

Punishments must fit crimes.

If the exact same public execution awaits someone who physically abuses people AND also, for example, someone who said a stupid thing when they were drunk at a party at 16, there is no more actual justice in your system. Cancel culture, such as it presents itself right now and especially on social media, is in this consequence an inherently unjust practice and simply not fit to be a novel corrective measure for human behaviour.

Because it ultimately doesn’t really help anybody. Why you ask? I will tell you!

4. Effects

If you’re advertising for cancel culture as a corrective measure anyway, I don’t even know what to say to you anymore at this point, if I’m honest. Like I get getting high on righteousness and enjoying “karma” at work. But what I don’t get is thinking that cancelling someone has a positive effect that goes beyond your own satisfied need for vengeance. Or to put it less testy: A positive effect that goes beyond the collective feeling of a like-minded community that adequate consequences have been felt by the offensive, problematic individual it befell. (Which lol, there also is no Cancellation-Overlord for every single cancelling process that says: “Okay, now it’s enough, this person is sufficiently cancelled”. It just never stops, does it?!)

If the betterment of society was truly the goal here, a cancellation would leave room for growth. And it doesn’t. And I really wish the wonderful Philippa Soo was all the way right with her recent tweet on the matter, where she said: “If you are “cancelled” but do not wish to be, you must WORK to EARN back people’s respect by owning up to the thing that cancelled you in the first place, LISTENING to others, EDUCATING yourself, and ADVOCATING on behalf of the people that you have offended/harmed”.

Unfortunately no matter how much WORK, how much EDUCATION, how much LISTENING and ADVOCATING a cancelled person attempts, the masses won’t let them EARN their respect back. Because the initial response, the demanded apology is mostly and on principle deemed insincere and is picked apart until it can be put aside as a “performative too-little-too-late effort”.

I think Emmanuel Acho put it best when he said in regards to DeSean Jackson, a MOC who got cancelled over ill-advisedly quoting Hitler to uplift African Americans: “I’m done with cancel culture, because what cancel culture doesn’t do, it doesn’t educate and it doesn’t allow room for growth. [...] That’s what needs to occur right now, DeSean needs to face his twitter punishment and the Eagles need to punish him as they see fit - However cancel culture is idiotic, because it doesn’t allow for growth.”

And that’s exactly it. When you’re cancelled, you can’t be un-cancelled by becoming a better person, complete rehabilitation is near impossible. For example: No matter which way you swing on either the Depp or Michael Jackson allegations/controversies, it is fair to say that neither the living nor the dead accused will ever fully shake their public cancellations and the public opinions of their characters that were subsequently shaped by them.

(Side Note regarding my personal takes on those whole two things I just mentioned... Re: Depp—I think they were both toxic for each other but it’s pretty clear based on evidence that Amb*r He*rd has acted completely manipulatively and actively lied about him physically abusing her to destroy his reputation and knew exactly what she was doing // MJ—I feel personally deeeeeeply uncomfortable about many people completely dismissing the men that came forward, especially as there are very many shady things that are proven to have happened during actual court proceedings, however I accept that I will never know the whole story such as the evidence is atm and would not therefore claim that everyone who believes a version of “MJ was framed” is a nasty ch*ld abuse apologist.)

Now looking at other people who definitely opened themselves up for “cancellation” based on their current public statements and actions: Trump and JK Rowling. Will they ever shake that cancellation fully? — No.

Trump will never be uncancelled because he’s objectively horrible and keeps being a pill-adicted, pervert, racist demon. (And in my capacity to be a hypocritical asshole, I LOVE that for him.) JK R will forever be known not just as the author of Harry Potter, but also a “motherf*cking Terf”.

But in their case, the WAY MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION is:

Will their cancellations ultimately really hurt them, though? — And the answer is: Eh. Sadly, probably not, if we’re honest. Because they’re both still rich and have more than enough people still actively in their corner.

And then the next question is obviously:

Will their cancellations at least make them rethink their behavior, assumptions or assholery, then? — Lol, don’t kid yourself.

So that’s a pretty blergh effect, huh?!

Now, if we go down a peg further to someone like Lea Michele, who is arguably less powerful and/or wealthy than the Orange and the Author, but is still famous and incidentally also cancelled, it’s a slightly different situation.

LM will very likely forever be known as a bitch and possibly a racist. Unlike the other two examples, she actually did apologize, an apology that was dismissed out of hand almost immediately. She did lose one or two deals and endorsements, so more than Trump or JKR, but she’s still rich. So even if she doesn’t get that sweet HelloFresh money anymore, she’ll probably still be very fine financially in the long run.

Did her cancellation prompt her to rethink her actions and want to better herself? Possibly. Her apology said so but then again it wasn’t believed to be sincere by anybody who canceled her previously, so that’s a moot point in the end, I guess?! (Hint: This is where I’d like to call back to Emmanuel Acho’s “Cancel culture doesn’t allow for growth” once more.)

(AND ALSO-ALSO, if someone who gets a barrage of tweets saying their unborn child should die because they have been a shitty human and possibly racist and should work to be a better human and not racist, feels any real incentive of actually doing better by those same people is high-key debatable.)

See, if Lea Michele comes out on the other side of this as a woker, kinder person that is also universally accepted as such and fully rehabilitated in the world of “the good and umproblematic folk”, I will gladly open up the discussion on how fruitful cancel culture can be. I don’t expect this outcome but I am open to it—and if it does happen, please hit me up and we can analyze and discuss.

Yet, as things are looking right now, and not just based on these three prominent targets but others like them, I would argue that the actual effects of cancel culture on those in power positions or of wealth and fame in terms of correcting or bettering behavior are overseeable.

But let’s recap, shall we.

What are the actual effects on cancelees of power and fame?

They will never really be fully uncancelled in the court of public opinion. (So why try? The damage is done.)

They likely won’t feel any real economic damages from it in the long run despite of their cancellation regardless. (So ultimately, why care? Read: Many people constantly cancel Trump, he’s still a rich asshole and he’ll likely be a rich asshole forever.)

They have zero incentive to try and do better other than wanting to polish their image (And even IF they want to do better and become uncancelled by actually educating themselves and committing to being a decent human being, it sucks for them because see 1, you don’t shed cancellation and your efforts will always be framed as insincere.)

And that’s it for the rich and the famous, now let’s cast our sights on the regular-everyday cancelees, the unfamous Jacks and Jills like you and I that either fucked up in some way or pissed someone off enough that they either went looking for or fabricated something to cancel them about.

Do those regular people learn by a barrage of angry tweets calling them names, denying their humanity, wishing death upon them and their families, diminishing their entire existence from afar, based on their fucked up action or a couple of dumb beliefs or honest mistakes, etc, without knowing them or ever having had a conversation, let alone a calm discussion? Do you really think anybody learns anything from being told to kill themselves by a stranger on the internet?! Do they learn from getting fired or from their families getting bullied?

Spoiler Alert: They don’t!

And this truly can’t come as a surprise to anybody. It’s empirically proven that both people and most other animals learn best through support, patience, trial and error as well and especially through positive reinforcement. Hate is a f*cking terrible teacher. Love works much better.

That is not to say you have to coddle undeterrable racists or relativate abuse. Yeah, some people, some of those little fishies are Trump-levels of fucked up and when a call-out will never change their minds and hearts, it might still remove them from positions where they can still do harm, so I get how cancelling seems a valid option there. But I’d still argue that wherever possible, seeking to involve the law will actually do more to neutralize their bad behavior than calling them names on the internet because that only strengthens their resolve or worse, makes them into martyrs for their twisted, deplorable little communities!

Outside of those people (because as we’ve previously established, cancelling can happen to virtually everybody), if there is a person you want to cancel that could still change, grow and learn, please lead them with love. Or at least show them the way without becoming abusive yourself.

Because that is the second unfortunate effect cancel culture has. It makes monsters of people.

How many (often very young) folks have felt emboldened to send death threats to cancelees in those recent years that this particular movement has gained traction? How many times can a young person send someone else abusively worded messages online before that mindset bleeds into real life?

How long until someone learns that as long as they feel deeply wronged, they are thoroughly justified in calling people names, wishing death, m*scarriage, deaths of loved ones, r*pe and all sorts of disgusting things on those they take issue with?

How long until they think someone making a mistake is enough reason to terrorize their families or cyber-stalk and doxx them?

How long until someone who has a grudge on somebody else will use whatever they can find, or simply make up something to get that unloved individual forcibly cancelled in the ever more radicalized court of public opinion? Which brings me to the next bit.

5. Weaponization

This is just a thought. And also an admittedly dark vision. Please take a second to look at how the cancelation process works at the moment. The next time someone gets cancelled, really observe the mechanisms, the ins and outs of it. Check how many receipts there are, look how apologies are treated, look at the dog piling, the abuse, the bullying, the mob mentality… and then know that if you and I can see how the machine works, it isn’t too hard to see it. And that others can see it, too.

And then remember that ill-intentioned corporations and/or governments have always used division as a tactic to stay in or gain more and more power. Then once again, study cancel culture and tell me if it’s not the most divisive shit you’ve ever seen.

I’m calling it now. Someone, some corporation, some dictator, some “foreign power” will eventually use cancel culture to ruin some serious shit somewhere. And if things keep going the way they do, a whole lot in our society will be a lot easier to tear down - because the erosion of society has already begun.

6. Self-Destruction

Speaking of erosion. Have you noticed that the alt-right and conservatives stick together like glue no matter what? Have you noticed how many republicans follow Trump blindly and excuse his abysmal presidency at every turn no matter what he does, simply because he is on their team?

Now how many times in a week, approximately, does one progressive/liberal/social/democratic leftie cancel or try to cancel another progressive/liberal/social/democratic leftie with slightly different views and/or convictions. I can’t answer this question empirically but anecdotally, judging from twitter and tumblr exposure, it’s at least once a week.

One by one, the left burns itself to a crisp, filtering out dissidents in their own ranks by turning topics into one-dimensional “You’re either with us or against us”-battles and by setting impossible standards of purity that change from person to person and can also never be met.

Watch woke people try and over-enlighten each other, watch them tear apart people, companies, artists, etc. that are actually in their corner for not catering to the exact flavour of liberal they are. Watch the right be delighted as in-fighting breaks the left into inter-warring factions. You know what that is?

Divide and conquer.

And the worst part is, we are doing it to ourselves, we are doing it for them.

In Conclusion

Cancel culture in it’s current, online form, is very much a real thing.

And cancel culture doesn’t unite us. Cancel culture doesn’t correct us. Cancel culture more often than not doesn’t rid us of the real bad people. Cancel culture doesn’t raise an understanding youth that can have nuanced discussions or compassion for people who still have a lot to learn. Cancel culture doesn’t educate, it doesn’t forgive. It doesn’t teach, it doesn’t feel compassion. It doesn’t draw fair conclusions, comparisons or deliver appropriate justice. Cancel culture has no regard for mental health, it has no sense of mediation. It won’t classify offenses, it doesn’t seek appropriate punishment, only utter destruction. Cancel culture ultimately others everyone.

Cancel culture is not consequence culture, even if it theoretically could and arguably should be. Cancel culture is not partisan. Cancel culture doesn’t only affect old white cis-men. Cancel culture doesn’t care how old you are. Cancel culture doxxes children and makes their peers vindictive. Cancel culture can end this man’s whole career. Cancel culture is not an effective educational tool with which the left can heal the world. Cancel culture will not save us.

Cancel culture has the definite potential of becoming a dangerous pit and we need to be able to have a nuanced discussion about that before we all fall in.

I understand the desire to hold people accountable, I understand the desire for a culture of consequence and accountability. I support that. But then let’s actually call it “consequence culture” and cultivate it! By abstaining from name-calling, murder-threats, bullying, dogpiling, suicide-baiting, falsifying accusations, overstating harm, in-fighting, virtue signaling, performative allegiance without due diligence and attacking people’s families. Let’s stop being unwilling to actually educate, forgive or offer a way back.

Let’s not give the entire cancel-culture-phenomenon the “approved by the left”-checkmark just because it occasionally lands on bad people and close our eyes to its pitfalls and faults. Let’s actually take measures to correct behavior and create consequences not dole out social death sentences. Please, I beg you!

Honestly, I stand by the title of this here essay. I will never think cancel culture, such as it is right now, is a good thing, and I will not repudiate my opinion unless this very phenomenon changes trajectory significantly into something more productive. I don’t want to be stepping outside of my political alignment with this opinion but if that’s the hill, that’s the hill and I’m okay with that.

So yeah, you can absolutely pry my cancel culture criticism from my very cold, very dead and very leftist hands. Eventually.

Thanks you very much.

#cancel culture #long post #opinion piece #essay #cancel culture essay #tw: abuse #tw: rape #tw: miscarriage #tw: suicide

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tumblunni · 5 years

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What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

#lets go bunni #bunni plays lets go

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sweatblvvdtears · 6 years

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I think I need to distancing myself a while from here , I am not all that bad to people actually , I just love giving attentions to those I wanted in silent and I cared about my loneliness time on here sometimes for myself also don't like to be disturbed much . You can actually disturb me but to whom that I loved to be with or when I got comfortable around you and I just really love you or you are one of my very closed people and been good to me . Yes , you can disturb me . I just got sick a lot and can't stand it when I know my phone got hacked lots of times and it leaves me burning inside and in cold hearted and I am very sorry to whom I already hurting .. Or been attacked by me due to my very enraged phase . Like few weeks before this , I noticed that my phone got overwhelming with forced stopped app from my Tumblr Mobile itself that I'm using and I realized that my phone memory suddenly got taken a lot in instantly (?) And it just shut down by itself . Again . I swear I didn't downloaded anything or use that memory that much . I had to removed lots of my apps due to this issues then reset my phone to Factory Reset . I admitting that my actions can be a bit overreacting and over too dark and been pissed off for almost 2 weeks , but believe me when I said that I won't behaving like total Satan or that dark if nobody is doing bad things on me . I'm just tired .

I am like a mirror or sort of a dark creatures who are sleeping peacefully and like doing things all alone or with anyone that I like or love privately , if you throw a rock on my head or my face or just intentionally making me angry or bleed or just messing up around my place when I'm napping or hibernating or when I just need to do some recovery for myself due to "battle" damaged irl mentally + physically + emotionally because un-avoidable issues , due expect for me to just come out angrily and in pissed off + bad mood or just ready to chase anyone or just attack back to those "rock" thrower . Running amok and going harder . Because I would never throw a "rock" to anyone or anything in the first place 😢 . Unless if you are giving me reasons to do that . 💢 I like privacy . Why did you do that thing for ? To make my anger go bigger and my heart of patience go smaller >8'U ? That's just stupid and immature also insensitive . You want me to go massively destroying people and things around because I could . But , I don't want . I'd rather laying down into deep slumber or inside dark pitch or anywhere comfort inside dark place itself . I have my own terrible darkness .

Don't ever forget that . No , you will only make my dark mind go overwhelming and I will be tired emotionally and mentally also inside soul 😧 I have like lots of problems to work on / solve and I am dealing with mental disorder irl . It's exhausting . Tiring . So , PLEASE . Mind me . Please do understand . Yes , it drained me . A lot . I will go into horrible phase and shape shifting into more darker , horrible and angrier and I won't stop . Why ? Because I know me . It will make my heart go sick and my tiredness go over too much and it's the mixed between anger + sadness + darkness . Overboard . You all won't understand anyway . You don't want to know or hear anyway . It's not like you have the same high darkness like me or something or felt like been born in reversed way . You know what I mean .

#p #.txt #tw #about #irl #thought #vent #6:04 am #i don't have time or something to correct grammars or etc . i need sleep .

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s3venpounds · 5 years

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1-98

thank you my dewd for giving me something to do! ngl was going kinda insane and i’ll take anything over doing chores tbh also sorry if this is hella late

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs usually because they hold more liquid and i use them for everything lol tea, coffee, alcohol, soda

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops, i like having something in my mouth for long amounts of time(and yes pun intended)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy oh my god. I have such a sweet tooth its ridiculous. I once bought 7 large bags of cotton candy from K days and ate them for the next 2 months even when they got hard and probably nasty lmao i just love that shit. even cotton candy flavoured stuff ( except vodka. thats a trap. )

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

shy, reserved, well behaved basically i was a wimpy little shit

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like them in glass cups so i can clean it afterwards and use it again later, waste makes me feel guilty

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

if its applied to me? pastel. I love brighter colors after i stopped wearing blacks greys and whites. they feel so good and look so nice. on someone im interested in? sportswear, formal, grunge, goth, pastel, tomboy. in no particular order. if its sportswear stuff that really highlights muscles and how toned they are just MMMMMMMM. formal is fuckkkkkkking attractive. like if the white collar shirt is unbuttoned halfway and the blazer is rolled up? or no blazer but with suspenders and the sleeves rolled up? OMG i will literally lick their collarbones idgaf

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones, mostly because its just healthier for your ears, as much as i like earphones and use them more often i just prefer headphones cuz people usually dont bother me, i do dislike the hat hair though and how bulky they are

8. movies or tv shows?

im kind of a weeb so i much prefer tv shows with regular releases so im not waiting 6 years or something for avengers lol i need my fixxxxxxxxxxx

9. favorite smell in the summer?

after rain smell or during rain smell idk. carnival food? the ocean? just water scents i guess

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dance or volleyball both of which im still doing to this day very happily c:

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

cereal, maybe some nutella, whatevers left over if someone cooked the night prior or just basic bacon eggs and rice. fried rice if im feeling lucky

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Emotions empty. YEET

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. I’ve had the same spidergwen/ghost spider lanyard since like 2015 and i refuse to use another lol. it feels so cool to yank on the lanyard and swing it around

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

rock candy. hands down. that shit makes me nutty. like if i was an earth bender or some shit i’d make a giant club made of the stuff and smack people with it and lick it afterwards

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

the outsiders probably i mean its not like crazy favourite but like its the one i enjoyed the most out of the ones i was forced to read (i really hate being forced to do shit)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? criss cross as im doing right now lmao or sitting on one of my legs

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? ah shit I just threw them out cuz they were old af but i had these nike high tops with the little puffy thing that inflates the sides of the shoes to make it more comfortable and it was so good in the winter and summer. it like breathed enough to let my feet stay nice and cool but it also stayed warm and never let snow get in my shoes cuz they were so high they acted like boots. i wore those for like my entire highschool experience

18. ideal weather?

raining. or breezy day. wind makes me sleepy and rain makes me excited to jump around in puddles and run as if my lifes calling is pulling me towards it

19. sleeping position?

I always sleep on my stomach. its my most comfortable position and i knock out so easily if i do. apparently its a family thing too lol my siblings all outgrew it but w.e

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on a laptop or in my journal. the tapping of laptop keys makes me feel productive while writing in my journal makes me feel like itll be saved for the rest of my life

21. obsession from childhood?

psychology and the inner workings of the mind. why something thinks lowly of themselves, why someone thinks highly of themselves, how they came to this decision, why they thought to refuse this and that its really interesting to me to see peoples reasoning

22. role model?

not even a physical person but ALL MIGHT from my hero academia or boku no hero academia. yknow that phrase ? “ what would jesus do?” yeah its “what would all might do?” for me luuuuuuuuuuuuul

23. strange habits?

i dont really know any strange habits myself but im sure my friend justin knows a few

24. favorite crystal?

crystal???? uhhh i dont know much about this but i guess i would go with emerald? since its my birth stone?

25. first song you remember hearing?

a barney song. i shit you not.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

I dont really like the heat all that much. summer is just suffering to me tbh lol like what do you do when youve taken off all ur clothes, ur AC is dead and your room is the highest room in the house where all the heat gathers? nothing. you do nothing. you cry and almost get heat stroke.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

I loooooooooooove snowboarding im not good at it though but god damn its fun. specially with friends and learning together it makes me so happy seeing people grow c:

28. five songs to describe you?

fix you cold play(currently listening to this), im still here (treasure planet soundtrack) by john reznik, Good things fall apart Jon bellion, lost stars Adam levine, After Dark Asian Kung Fu Generation. is what i can say so far? i’ve got tons of songs i relate to those are the ones that just popped into mind

29. best way to bond with you?

be physical. touch me, graze me, be comfortable with me and hold up a conversation. As much as i like talking I LOVE hearing about the people im interacting with. hobbies, dreams, goals, nightmares everything. other than that? just spend time with me. any time is fine. i do prefer really deep conversations at like 3 am lol

30. places that you find sacred?

sacred to me? St. Clements park and not much else. a looooooooooot of shit has happened there. my first kiss, my worst break up, my best make up/make out, my best date.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I got these leather boots that do a clack sound on pavement and i feel powerful as fuck. I got this really high quality black formal shirt from le chateau that breathes really well and highlights my figure. I have these black jeans with zippers above and below the kneecap that make me feel dope. so yeah full black lol. theres also this grey sweater i have that flows in the wing like a cape and i feel like a superhero when wind blows it behind me

32. top five favorite vines?

ok ok theres this one i cannot find again for the life of me but its like this asian guy sittin in a stall taking a dump and it cuts to an ice cream dispenser then some dude knocks on the door and the asian guy gasps and it cuts to the ice cream dispenser but goes backwards so the poop is like going back in and the asian guy goes like “ unnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and shudders and i like fucking collapse a lung everytime i think about it. some of king vaders anime parodies are fucking hilarious, the dude who made that vine where “ if johnny has 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ wait why does johnny have 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ mind your business david” while playing with dishsoap lmao. OH OH and that one where the kid puts random shit on his head to signify its his mom like where he goes “ I like ya accent where ya from?” “ im from liberia” “ *in a whisper* oh my bad I like ya accent where ya from” yeah this is longer than i thought i’ll stop it here i still got like 60 questions left

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“lmao” i’ve now used to as a similar term to lol. sometimes i say it in irl like “ le mao” and i internally cringe everytime

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

pizza 73, sleep country canada “why buy a mattress any where elseee” and some spotify ads cuz theyre fucking everywhere

35. average time you fall asleep?

midnight or 10 at the earliest

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

god... uhhh.. one of those rage comics those old ass black n white memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag, i am NOT organized enough for a suitcase plus duffels i can carry across my chest like a backpack

38. lemonade or tea?

oof. lemonade from k days was really gooooooood. but tea is something im always comfortable with.. ill go with tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake defnitely. cake tastes more mellow while meringue is like a burst of flavour right away

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

a dude OD’d during school hours or that time a dude had a seisure in class

41. last person you texted?

clarence

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets if i wanna look badass, pants pockets if im just being a panda

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

oooof. uhh leather or bomber. leather because i love biker aesthetic too and bomber just looks comfy

44. favorite scent for soap?

i dont particularly have one but i do like old spice or irish spring

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

SUPERHERO. HANDS DOWN. fantasy second and sci fi 3rd.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.... naked. only on days i cannot sleep at all

47. favorite type of cheese?

uhh fuck dude uhm.. toss up between cream cheese or parmesan

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

durian. I hate durian. its spiky on the outside, smells like burnt asshole but taste is redeeming

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

inside jokes with justin. just hanging out with the dude I had the best gut wrenching laughs of my life. laughs where my jaw hurt from laughing, i lost feeling in my cheeks, my face was red and couldnt stop crying. those laughs.

51. current stresses?

job security, love life, and friends who are currently getting more and more busy and cant hang out as often

52. favorite font?

IDK? Helvetica?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry and typing.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

People are stupid as fuck. and coworkers are dangerous thanks alex for throwing a kitchen knife at me

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk if it counts since disney always makes fairytales but treasure planet?

56. favorite tradition?

probably christmas because i think its super important who you choose to spend it with and who you DO spend it with is a sign of how much they mean to you

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

dads abuse, my biggest break up, my friends attempted suicide

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

yknow the devil sign you make by closing your hand in a fist except your pinky and pointer finger? i can make my pointer and pinky touch. I also have been told my volleyball spikes have been really good recently. uhh my dancing I guess? singing?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

EVERYTHINGS FINE WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

My hero academia. hands down.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you'll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of! And... well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. TREASURE FUCKING PLANET BOIIIIIIIIIIS

62. seven characters you relate to?

jim hawkins, hikigaya hachiman, shoya ishida, natsuki subaru, Hinata Shoyo, Hiccup, roxas.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

oh god. uhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. learn to fly foo fighters? castle on the hill ed sheeran? man idk im not huge on clubs, just shit from like 2000′s rock bands that white person knows the lyrics to and probably screamed in their room when they were mad

64. favorite website from your childhood?

YTV when they first released those side kick things thos games were so cool except that one day where the sidekick turned into a monster i legit got scared lol

65. any permanent scars?

tons actually and i love em! they remind me that things happened and that i wont ever forget them. currently tryna get a scar for volleyball HEHEHE

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont know much about flowers but roses and lavender is nice. and that flower in philippines where if you touch it, it like curls into itself.

67. good luck charms?

the keychains people i’ve fallen for have given to me. like this one bullet bill keychain AB gave me when we first met in highschool. i still have it. its faded and chipped in places but i feel like it makes me feel stronger yknow?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

birthday cake vodka. hands down. and i’ve literally tasted my own puss from an infected wound on accident

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

in philippines flies are always swarming around peoples food so what i learned was to rip up the napkin to look like that thing people used to dust the house and it keeps them away if you swing it at them

70. left or right handed?

right handed c:

71. least favorite pattern?

pattern? uhh anything disorienting i guess

72. worst subject?

math. 100% math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

meatball marinara sub with like every sauce from subway

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

8. i think i have a high pain tolerance

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont remember.. maybe like 6?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

MASHED POTATOES.FRJISD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

not a big fan of plants....

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

sushi from a grocery store. just cuz im not willing to pay 30 bucks for somewhat fresh stuff from a retaurant

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school id funny enough

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

...what? i guess jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

FIREFLIES OWL CITYYYYYYYYY

82. pc or console?

console. i have a better understanding of how console plays vs computer. computer is too finicky for me and aiming is a lot harder. console i know how people on console move and how i move and how to aim.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. if i knew how to draw though thatd be a different answer

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio cuz i like to phone in and talk about my experiences lol i got to be on one actually it was dope

84. barbie or polly pocket?

uhhhhhh barbie?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

death. or atleast what happens afterwards

88. your greatest wish?

to be a hero.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Z

90. luckiest mistake?

one time in gym class we were playing dodgeball and i slipped trying to run backwards and a dude threw a ball at me but i kicked it in a way it went straight up and i had enough time to catch it

91. boxes or bags?

boxes, much better leverage and storing is like a game of tetris!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps or overheads. sunlight has glare on my stuff and its hard to play and fairylights arent enough

93. nicknames?

tin man, AG, metal man, poetry man, silverado, silver city, quick silver anything with silver really.

94. favorite season?

fall and winter. winter being the best

95. favorite app on your phone?

Epic seven

96. desktop background? its a picture of hinata shoyo from HAIKYUU!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only 1. thats my own lmao

98. favorite historical era?

uhhhhhh shit idk. they all seemed pretty shitty tbh..........

#ask me shit #ask me more things!#this was nice!

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