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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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What Rhymes With “AY”? Warning: This survey has 114 questions

1. Do you enjoy listening to reggae music? I haven’t listened to much reggae music.

2. Have you ever rolled in hay before? No. I’m actually allergic.

3. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made? Of course.

4. Last time you went to a café, what did you order? Coffee.

5. Have you ever been to a matinee performance before? No.

6. Would you like a chance to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Why or why not? Would it be like the one in The Santa Clause that had a hot chocolate and cookie dispenser? ha. Swap the hot chocolate with coffee, though.

7. Have you ever taken ballet lessons before? How about any other type of dance lessons? No. That was actually something I wished I could do when I was a kid and in high school. I thought the dance team was cool.

8. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nope.

9. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? Nope.

10. Do you know how to do the Whip/Nae Nae? I do, actually.

11. Have you ever played croquet before? Nope.

12. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? No.

13. How much do you weigh? I’m not exactly sure, but I am definitely underweight.

14. Do you ever wear a beret? No.

15. When’s the last time you’ve been to a buffet? Back in February. There was a breakfast buffet at Disneyland where you got to visit with various characters while you ate. It was cute.

16. Have you ever attended a cabaret? No.

17. Have you ever eaten at Swiss Chalet? No. Never even heard of it.

18. Do you know how to crochet? How about doing macrame? No.

19. Do you have a duvet on your bed? No.

20. What was the last thing that ricocheted off of a surface? My phone did.

21. What do you put on your ice cream sundaes? I’m good with just vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, but sometimes I’ll add chocolate syrup as well. Bananas and whip cream are also great additions. Wow, it’s been yearsss since I’ve had one but that sounds really good right now.

22. Have you ever woken up to the “Reveille” bugle wake-up call at summer camp? No. I’ve never been to summer camp.

23. What is your favorite entrée to order at your favorite restaurant? My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.

24. Is crème brulee your favorite dessert? I don’t like actual creme brulee, but I like the creme brulee latte at Starbucks that they offer in the winter.

25. Do you know anyone who wears a toupee? I don’t think so.

26. Have you ever made a soufflé before? Was it good? Nope. I like the spinach and artichoke breakfast souffle from Panera, though.

27. Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream.

28. Do you know anyone named Renee, Jay, Clay, or Ray? I know someone whose middle name is Renee if that counts, and I also know a Jay and a Ray.

29. Have you ever had café au lait? Yes.

30. Have you ever gone to a restaurant called “Chez ______”? No.

31. Hey, how’s it going? It’s almost 730AM I should be going to sleep. My medicine I took a bit ago is making me feel a little nauseous, too, cause I took it on an empty stomach. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I just went to bed, but nooo. :/

32. When’s the last time you wore a lei? It’s been several years.

33. Did you obey your parents when you were younger? Yes.

34. Who do you want to hunt down like prey? No one.

35. Have you ever had whey before? No.

36. What message would you like to convey to someone right now? Nothing at the moment.

37. Whose survey did you take last? I don’t know who made it.

38. Have you ever been to a bay before? Yes.

39. Do you have a bae? “Or nah.” Ha, old Vine reference. Anyway, no, I do not.

40. What’s your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same to me, really, since I’m not in school nor do I have a job.

41. Have you ever had to read “The Cay”? Nope. That title doesn’t ring a bell.

42. Are you feeling okay? I’m feeling tired, hot, and kind of nauseous.

43. Do you know anyone who is gay? Yeah, a few people.

44. Do you like the acting of Tina Fey? Sure.

45. Have you ever listened to The Fray? Yes, I like a few of their songs.

46. Do you have any frayed clothing? No.

47. Do you prefer bluebirds or bluejays? Bluebirds.

48. Is May your favorite month? No. I only like saying, “It’s gonna be May” haha. You know, the NSYNC/Justin Timberlake meme.

49. May I ask you some more questions? Sure.

50. Have you ever voted “nay” to anything before? What? Yeah. I was a board member for a club in college and there were things we voted on.

51. Have you ever wanted to make someone pay for something that they did? I’m not a revengeful person.

52. Do you ever just lay around all day? That’s all I pretty much do everyday.

53. Are you a happy little frickin’ ray of sunshine? No. I’m a little black raincloud.

54. Is there something that you would like to say to someone? “There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know howwww.”

55. When’s the last time that you were so excited that you exclaimed (or at least thought) “yay!” ? I said that the other night when my brother said he was making his bomb spaghetti. haha.

56. Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way? I’ve been feeling that way for the past few years.

57. Do you ever wish that people would just go away? lol I’ve felt that way in some situations.

58. Have you heard an animal bray before? What animal was it? Yeah, a donkey.

59. What’s the last thing that you made out of clay? Nothing.

60. Are you starting to go gray? I’ve found a few here and there. D: It was like the minute I turned 30 I found my first one, ha.

61. Are you feeling okay right now? No. I still feel how I felt earlier when you asked how it was goin’. :/

62. Do you pray? How often? Yes, but not nearly as much as I ought to.

63. What’s the best play you’ve seen before? The Phantom of the Opera.

64. What did you like to play with when you were younger? I was obsessed Barbies, I could play for hours. I also liked playing house and school.

65. Do you know how to sashay? “Sashay away.”

66. Would you like to slay dragons? Nah. I wouldn’t want to mess with a dragon.

67. Have you gotten your pets spayed? All my dogs were fixed/spayed. My doggo was spayed before we could take her home from the adoption shelter.

68. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Not begged, but I didn’t want them to leave.

69. Has the room ever started to sway before? I hateeee that feeling.

70. When’s the last time you ate a meal on a tray? Uhhh. I don’t recall.

71. Do you know how to do math arrays? You’re speaking math so no.

72. Have you ever experienced a delay of any sort? Yeah.

73. Do you have any tooth decay? No.

74. When’s the last time you wrote an essay? What was it about? Back when I was still in school, so it’s been 5 years now since the last time.

75. When’s the last time you competed in a relay race? I participated in a few wheelchair race events when I was a kid.

76. Have you ever wondered how you could ever repay someone? Yes. I wish I could spoil and take care of my mom one day for everything she has done and continues to do for me. She deserves so much.

77. What did you do today? So far just Tumblr, surveys, and listening to ASMR.

78. Would you ever take in a stray animal? We don’t really have room for another pet, but I’d want to help in some way. Once we had a stray dog wander in our backyard and we took care of him until we were able to find him a good home. We also once had a cat who often went into our backyard and she ended up having kittens, so we cared for them and found them all homes, including the mama.

79. What’s the last cleaning spray that you’ve used? Lysol disinfectant spray.

80. When’s the last time you splayed your fingers? I’ll do it right now.

81. Has your airway ever been blocked before? Yes. Such a scary, traumatizing experience. It’s why I can’t take pills now at all unless I can crush them.

82. Has anyone ever led you astray? In some ways.

83. When it’s hot out, do you sleep with blankets anyways? Noooo.

84. Have you ever felt betrayed? Yep. Not a nice feeling.

85. When’s the last time you listened to a DJ? My cousin’s quince a few years ago.

86. What’s the last unfortunate thing that happened, to your dismay? This pandemic.

87. When is payday? The 1st of the month (disability).

88. Do good moments or bad moments replay through your mind more often? My mind likes to dwell on all the bad stuff instead.

89. Do you prepay for anything? I typically like to pay all my bills at the same time each month instead of waiting until the day each of them are due.

90. Have you ever walked on a runway before? No.

91. Do you know a runaway? No.

92. Have you ever ridden the subway before? How about driven on the skyway? Nope.

93. Have you ever used an ashtray before? No.

94.How do you feel about public displays of affection? I don’t mind a little bit, like a quick kiss, hand holding, arms around each other, or a hug.

95. Where would you like to go for a getaway? I wish I could rent a beach house and have my own private beach area.

96. Do you do any gateway drugs? Some say weed is a gateway drug, but I personally never had any interest in try anything beyond that.

97. Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t meeting you halfway? Yes.

98. What were you doing at midday? I’ll be sleeping.

99. Have you ever stopped midway through a survey before? Yeah, I did that with this one. I started it last night, but got too tired to finish it.

100. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas.

101. Do you like to drive on the highway/thruway? I don’t drive, but yeah I prefer taking the highway over driving through town and hitting all the red lights.

102. Have you ever put something on layaway before? I haven’t, personally, but I’ve gone shopping with my mom and added stuff of my own along with her’s that she put on layaway.

103. Have you ever been cornered in an alleyway? No.

104. When is your birthday? July 28th.

105. Do you know anyone who was a castaway? No.

106. How long is your workday? I don’t have a job.

107. What do you typically do on the weekdays? I do the same things everyday.

108. Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? Yeah.

109. What do you want to be someday? A functioning adult.

110. What is something that you do everyday? Drink coffee.

111. Do you park in your driveway? Do you even have a driveway? I don’t have a car, but yeah my house has a driveway that my parent’s use for their cars.

112. Have you ever won a giveaway? Yes.

113. How important is foreplay? I wouldn’t know.

114. Hooray! You’ve made it to the end! What are you going to do now? Eat my ramen. I was waiting for it to cool a bit.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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whenimgoodandready · 7 years

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✳SVTFOE, Behind the Scenes of “The Battle for Mewni” Part 7

(smart phone video turns on to reveal the inside of a moving tour guide bus going around the studio lot. It pans to Star)

“What goes on Starlings!? I’m here goin’ for a ride around the lot and I wanna show you some places u haven’t seen before! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

(the bus stops and Star moves the camera to a POV of her exiting and the bus)

“Thanks Sir!”

(the driver smiles, waves good-bye and drives off. Star pans the camera around to studio rows)

“You see, not only is “Star vs. The Forces of Evil” filmed here, but a lot of other Disney/Disney XD channel shows!“ (see shows each studio and it’s logos) “There’s “Milo Murphy’s Law” (a pistachio cart is outside of it, a herd of llamas and the right side of the studio roof broken and on fire), “Star Wars Rebels” (a spaceship model is outside of it) and “Tangled:The Series” (a dress rack and a long blonde wig is surrounding the studio. Star moves the video to herself and laughs) “Yeah, it’s a wig! But Rapunzel’s super nice! Also check this!”

(the camera turns off. It turns back on and we see Star outside of a different area of the studio lot)

(sing song voice) “Here we are in the studio lot of talk shows! (speaking) “Where talk shows are held” (moves her face close to the camera) “Toffee is making a guest appearance on Jimmy Fallon and so” (whispers) “I wanted u guys to see it before it airs”, (puts her index finger to her lips) “SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

(Star moves the camera to the studio and we get a POV shot of her walking behind it. We see her approach a door and then her hand reaching the knob opening it. The inside is dark and we hear laughter. The camera pans to the left, then to the right where there’s a faint light and we hear Jimmy’s voice)

“Yes, thank you ladies and gentlemen, thank you!”

(the camera moves closer to right and we see a background of a cityscape and peaking from behind it, we see Jimmy Fallon at the desk and Toffee sitting in the guest seat also the audience applauding. We hear Stars voice)

(gasps and talks quietly) “Oh my gosh, you guys, he’s really there! Toffee is talking to Jimmy Fallon! Shoosh! Shoosh! Shoosh! Shoosh! Shoosh!”

(Jimmy turns to Toffee) “Hey Toffee, I know we’re at the start of July and everything, but whaddaya say you sing us a song!?” (hands Toffee a microphone and the audience cheers. Toffee look embarrassed)

“No, no, no, no. Jimmy I can’t”

(Jimmy nudges the mic towards Toffee)

“Awe, C'mon!” (the audience cheers on)

(Toffee blushes and turns his head away)

“Seriously, I can’t!”

(Jimmy continues to hold the mic out for Toffee as the audience continues to cheer. We hear Star speak smugly)

“He’s not gonna do it”

(Toffee smirks and takes the mic)

“Okay, fine, I’ll do it”

(Jimmy looks pleased and the audience cheers and applauds. Star sounds bewildered)

“Huh, well whadaya know?”

(Toffee taps the mic and we hear it sound. He turns to Jimmy)

“It’s working right?”

“Yes, it’s on” (Jimmy turns to a sound guy off screen) “Start the music!”

(The audience cheers. We hear Star)

“OOOOOOOOH, I am SO keeping this taping!”

(Toffee clears his throat, sits up straight and the music to “Santa Clause Is Coming to Town” plays)

🎶You better watch out

(Toffees voice is smooth as silk)

You better not cry

You better not pout I’m telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town🎶

(a little laughter is heard from the audience)

🎶He’s making a list

He’s checking it twice

He’s going to find out who’s cheek he should slice

(the audience laughs. Toffee has a smirking look on his face throughout the whole song)

Santa Claus is coming to town🎶

🎶He sees you when you’re sleeping

Jimmy:(tries to hide his discomfort by smiling) “I’m scared right now”

He knows when you’re awake

He knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake🎶

(Jimmy nods vigorously now showing his discomfort)

🎶You better watch out

You better not cry

Jimmy:(gestures around) “He-He’s talking to everybody”

You better not pout I’m telling you why

Random Woman from the audience: "Why!?”

Santa Claus will kill you if you’re bad🎶

(Jimmy stops the singing)

Jimmy:“Hey hey hey, no no”

Toffee:“Was that good!?”

“Yeah, that was real good, Toffee everyone!”

(the audience cheers/applauds with Jimmy as Toffee bows his head. The camera pans to Stars face and she’s stunned. She pauses for a moment)

“Okaaaaaaay, Note to Self:Make sure to convince Daron not to let Toffee in our Christmas special ever” (nervously smiles) “Let’s get outta here now”

(the camera turns off. It turns back on and we see the Butterfly castle with a large green screen background behind it. We hear Star make trumpet noises)

“Baa baa baa baa BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Butterfly Castle! Isn’t it beautiful! It took the set designers months to construct it! Marco joked about turning it into a casino!” (laughs. Star pans the camera to the right) “Oh! And over here we have Ludo’s kingdom!” (Ludo previous kingdom from Season 1 is shown standing with a green screen background)

“Spooooooooooooooky! The explosives team had a lot of fun blowing that place up! But we used a different location and set design to make it look like it blew up cuz Daron wanted to show it to tourists” (pans the camera to the left) “And over there we have The Cloud Kingdom!” (a pastel pink/purple cloud filled area with plastic diamonds attached to them and a rainbow is shown with a pink background. Star sighs dreamingly)

“It’s like heaven……….in a studio lot! You’ll be seeing that a lot in the show when Marco and I see Pony Heads family in one episode! That rainbow there is a real slide we rode for the Season 3 theme song opening, watch!” (the camera is shaking into a standing position and we see Star run into view and to the left. Climbing noises are heard then sliding. Star comes into view again finishing the slide) “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

(laughs and dusts off her young Queen Moon dress) “Jeremy loves playing around with it on break!” (runs up to the camera with her face in a close up) “You guys wanna see the Butterfly Castle!?” (She grins and picks up her smart phone camera. We see her POV running to the door of the Butterfly Castle. She stops in front of it. She moves the camera to face her)

“Now when I open this door, I want you all to imagine your favorite magical tune playing while you’re looking around…….like the harp!” (Star moves the camera to the door again and opens it. We enter slowly and see the long diamond pattern carpet leading to the Queen Moon and King Rivers thrones. The camera pans up and we see the crystal chandelier. The camera pans down and moves to the right and we see large spade shaped windows. It pans to the left and we see the stairway where we were first introduced to Star and the huge portrait of The Butterfly Family. The camera pans upward so we could see the whole thing) “I look so……….so…………melancholy” (the camera pans to the left and we see the magic mirror and Stars reflection holding her smart phone. She notices and waves to herself. She walks over to the mirror. She speaks all queenly) “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, call Dominoes!”

Magic Mirror:“Calling Dominoes”

(Star laughs) “I know right! It actually operates like a real phone!”

Magic Mirror:(a young woman in a uniform shows) “Hello, Dominoes pizza, how may I take your order?”

“Uh, yeah, I'd like a Honolulu Hawaiian pizza with some breadsticks, a bottle of Coke and a chocolate lava cake please”

“Alright and where to deliver?”

“Studio Lot #9 at 2100 Riverside Drive!”

“Thank you, we’ll send for delivery”

(the magic mirror turns off. Star shrugs at her reflection smiling)

“I got hungry”

(She keeps the camera on her as she walks)

“So that was The Butterfly Castle for you! Those stairs don’t lead anywhere, but an empty unfinished hallway cuz we never filmed anything passed the throne room and-” (gasps as her irises shrink) “OH MY GOSH!” (she pans the camera to a corner of the room and we see a balloon stand with many balloons of Hekapoo, Omnitraxus and Rhombulus and their eyes hollowed out in black) “Why didn’t I notice that before!?” (we see a running motion straight to the balloons and Stars hand picks ‘em all up. She turns the camera to her) “Aren’t they cool! Daron had me and the cast pass these out to the kids during the tour!” (grimaces up at them) “Although, they’re a little freaky…..”(pans the camera back up to the balloons) “…….if you ask me. I mean, that’s some dark comedy sh*t right here, huh?, carrying your dead friends as balloons! Coo-coo!” (turns the camera back to her laughing) “but, I’m sure some people find that funny”

(Star walks to the door and exits The Butterfly Castle continuing her walk) “So Starlings, whattaya wanna see next!? The School? The Forest of Certain Death? TOFFEES TRAILER?!”

“Star!”

(Star hears a voice and moves her camera to whole set of Mewni as we see a little girl running toward her. She stops in front of Star and pants. She looks up at Star)

“Star! There you are! Where were you!?”

“Oh! Hey Amy! Everyone, this is Amy Vendrosian, remember her!? She’s that little girl that Gustav was staying with at her place with her family in “The Other Exchange Student”! Isn’t she cute!? Say Hi Amy!“

(Amy smiles and waves) "Hello!” (gets serious) “Star, Daron needs you to shoot the next scene! She was really mad that she couldn’t find you! You gotta hurry!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go back to the studio, here” (hands Amy all the Magic High Commission balloons) “hold these” (we see a running motion around the set. Suddenly, there’s a scream. Star stops) “Huh?”

(the camera turns around and we only The Butterfly Castle. There’s a far scream)

“STAR!”

(the camera pans up and we see Amy floating away with all the balloons she’s desperately clinging onto for life. Star whimpers)

“Oh sh*t!”

(camera turns off)

#svtfoe #the battle for mewni #behind the scenes part 7

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zfiledh · 7 years

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Gnome Bites

AO3 | (chilibreath) FF.net | LJ

Note: Written for Week 2 of @forduary (Science/Weirdness). The Gnome Ford (Crack) AU belongs to @a-million-chromatic-dreams . Let’s just say she got something right about the Journal through their AU (check Alex Hirsch’s twitter).

It started with a raid in the kitchen…

It was Fiddleford’s first week in Gravity Falls. He walked into the kitchen one morning and nearly dropped his papers at the sight he beheld.

It was complete chaos. The kitchen was in shambles as Stanford ran around the place chasing what looked like miniature Santa Clauses in blue overalls and red pointy hats. Fiddleford stared open-mouthed as Stanford grabbed a small Santa and tossed him out the open window.

“Fidds, block the doorway and make sure none of them pass through!” Ford yelled as he grabbed a bag of jellybeans with another Santa hanging off it. “Be careful, they bite!” he added as he started pulling the little man off the bag.

“Okay, Ford—AAAAAH!” Fidds yelled as one little man scampered towards him and hissed. He finally dropped his papers, grabbed a nearby mop and started swinging. He felt the end of the mop hit something and heard a high-pitched yowl. A window broke as Fidds’ target went flying out of it.

“Good job, buddy!” said Ford breathlessly, the jellybean bag still stuck on a determined, snarling Santa. “Only one more to—YEOWWWCH!!”

Fidds gasped; the small man scrabbled over the jellybean bag and bit Ford’s arm. Enraged, Ford yanked the gnome off him and tossed him out the window. A string of high-pitched cuss words floated through the window.

“Sweet sarsaparilla, that looks nasty!” Fidds cringed as he looked at the bite mark. “Looks like it drew blood. We gotta take you to a hospital and get that checked out!”

Ford waved away his friend’s concern and walked to the sink. “Driving to the hospital will take precious time away from the project,” he said gruffly as he placed his arm under running water. “This isn’t so bad. Just need some iodine and a bandage, that’s all!”

Fidds shook his head as he went to get the First Aid kit. His friend had warned him over the phone that this part of the United States has the highest concentration of weirdness, which he studied since they graduated from Backupsmore, but it was another thing to see it raid your kitchen.

“So, what were those little doodads that tried to make off with your jellybean stash?” Fidds asked as he set the First Aid kit down on the table.

Ford shook his head as he sat down. “They’re gnomes,” he explained as he held out his arm for treatment. “The little men of the forest. They keep raiding my pantry every other week. They’re not dangerous, just annoying. I mean, they once tried to kidnap me in my sleep to offer me to their Queen.”

“Ya don’t say?” murmured Fidds as he applied antiseptic on the bite mark. Judging from their size, it must have taken an army of them to carry his friend out of the house. “How’d you get away?”

Ford snorted. “Easy; I drop-kicked them and got the hell out of there.” He looked down at the dressed wound and smiled. “Thanks Fidds!”

“No problem,” replied the lanky man as he started cleaning up. “Are you sure you don’t want to get that treated by professionals? The thing that bit ya looked rabid to me…”

“Nonsense!” Ford scoffed. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen from a gnome bite?”

xxx

The next day…

Fiddleford walked into the kitchen, yawning. This was the fifth time he was preparing breakfast, and he wondered if he was hired to be Ford’s research assistant or the man’s nanny.

He was reaching for the kettle when he heard the rustle.

Fidds turned around, scanning the kitchen nervously. He frowned and grabbed the broom leaning on the wall nearby.

“I can’t believe they came back!” he thought as he walked stealthily around the kitchen. In the periphery of his vision, he spotted a flash of yellow.

WHACK!

“Gotcha!” Fidds yelled in triumph as his target rolled across the floor and hit the wall.

“Ooowww…”

Fidds blinked and lowered the broom; the voice sounds familiar. He approached the tiny figure as it rolled over and sat up, looking dazed.

“Stanford?” Fidds gasped, dropping the broom.

Fidds shook his head and leaned down for a closer look. It is Stanford: his friend and employer had shrunk to the size of the rabid Santa Clauses. Owing to his new size, Ford now wore his mustard-colored shirt like an oversized robe and his glasses were sitting lopsided on his nose.

Ford looked up at Fidds. The two men stared at each other for a moment before the gnome-sized one coughed.

“It seems gnome-bites have an unusual side-effect,” Ford said conversationally.

“Ya don’t say?” Fidds replied drily.

xxx

A couple of weeks later…

Stanley Pines trudged through the snow, the bitter cold seeping through his old jacket as he made his way to the cabin. Just his luck, he had to arrive in Oregon when a blizzard decides to hit.

He stopped in front of the porch steps, looking grimly up at the cabin. Why his brother decided to move here in the middle of nowhere, he’ll never know. He walked up the stairs and headed for the door. He raised a gloved hand to knock on the door, then paused to compose himself.

“You haven't seen your brother in over ten years,” Stan breathed. “It's okay; he's family! He won't bite.”

He knocked on the door. After a few moments, it opened on its own. Stan peered through the door and spotted a very cluttered space beyond.

“Uh, hello?” Stan called out, puzzled. “What is this, haunted?”

“Down here.”

Stan gave a start and looked down. His first impression was that of a small, rotund toddler wearing blue pants and a red sweater. Then he blinked and realized that the stern face—the head—was that of his brother’s.

“Stanford?!”

The tiny man in front of him nodded, rearranging the glasses that were too large for his face.

“Hi Stanley,” Ford said, sounding tense. “Please, keep it down! You might disturb—”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!”

Stan’s scream was powerful enough to shake the snow off the roof of the cabin. Ford winced as another man appeared right behind him, holding up a banjo like a club.

“What’s going on?!” Fidds cried, staring at Stan nervously from the doorway. On his part, Stan started backing away from the slender, blond man who looked ready to brain him with a musical instrument.

“Fidds, put that down!” Ford snapped, tugging at his friend’s pants. “This is my brother, Stanley. Stanley, this my friend and associate, Fiddleford McGucket.”

Fidds started to lower his banjo and stick out his hand. “Howdy!” Fidds said nervously. “I should have known; ya look just like yer brother before he shrank down!”

Ford rolled his eyes and beckoned to his brother. “Come in, come in!” he said, turning to toddle into the living room. Stan hefted the duffel bag over his shoulder and followed his shrunken brother into the house.

“Are you gonna explain what’s goin’ on here?” Stan asked. “The last time I saw you, we were the same height!”

Ford sighed as he walked towards a chair. He had to step over piles of books that were arranged into a makeshift set of stairs. “It’s a long story…” he began to say.

Stan sat in a nearby chair and listened to his brother’s story. How he was studying anomalies in Gravity Falls and decided to invite Fiddleford here to help him with a complicated project. This project never came to fruition after Ford was bitten by a possibly rabid gnome and turned into one practically overnight.

“We’ve been lookin’ for a cure ever since,” Fidds added as Ford concluded his story. The two scientists looked at Stan, gauging his reaction.

Stan stared back. He took off his beanie and sighed.

“Ya couldn’t have made your story SHORT?” he asked innocently.

“Oh, well, I guess I could have...” Ford began to say, then stopped and gave his brother a look. “Did you just…”

Stan blinked and looked owlishly at his twin. “What? Look, I came all this way from New Mexico after my LITTLE brother sent me a postcard and…”

Fiddleford decided to listen to the brothers’ conversation from the safety of the kitchen.

“Stan, if you don’t quit it, I will kick your ass,” Ford growled.

“Need a ladder?” Stan asked politely.

“Don’t patronize me!”

“So it’s true: short people do have short tempers.”

Fidds then heard sounds of a scuffle. Fearing the worst, he ran out of the kitchen and saw Stan holding Ford up by the scruff of his sweater. There was a fond look on Stan’s face while Ford was muttering obscenities.

“That’s enough you two,” Fiddleford said, taking Ford out of Stan’s hand and settling him back on his chair. “Ya need more cushions, Ford?”

Ford crossed his stubby arms and grouchily muttered, “No.”

To Stan, Fidds gestured to the chair he vacated. “If you could take a seat, Stan, and refrain from making short jokes, we’ve got a request to ask of you.”

After Fidds finished talking, Stan snorted.

“Lemme get this straight: you want ME to go out into the world pretending to be my nerdy brother?” he asked incredulously. “NO WAY! It’s not gonna work!”

“Why not?” asked Fidds.

“Gee, where do I start?” Stan asked sarcastically. “For starters, I don’t sound like him…”

“Stan, it would just be like when we were kids!” said Ford. “Remember when we pranked Crampelter back in middle school? He ended up having detention because of us!”

Stan snorted. “I don’t have that chin-thing you’ve got…”

“Nothin’ a little make-up magic can’t fix!” Fidds interjected. At an odd look from the brothers, Fidds looked defensive and added, “What? It can’t be that different from paintin’ deathbots!”

“And let’s not forget the most important difference,” said Stan, taking off his glove and wiggling his fingers in the air.

“You can borrow my gloves and stuff the extra digits with cotton,” countered Ford.

“No, this is not gonna work,” Stan muttered, shaking his head. He looked at his brother in the eye and said wearily: “You finally want to see me after ten years, and it’s to tell me to go out there and pretend to be you while you and skinny over here try to find a cure?”

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Stanley, you don’t know what I’ve been through…”

“No, no…you don’t understand what I’ve been through!” Stan growled. “I've been to prison in three different countries! I once had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car! You think you've got problems? I've got a mullet, Stanford! Meanwhile, where have you been? Living it up in your fancy house in the woods! Selfishly hoarding your college money, because you only care about yourself!”

Ford jumped up to stand on his chair. “I’m selfish, Stanley? How can you say that after costing me my dream school!? I’m giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life and you won’t even listen!”

“CUT THAT OUT YOU TWO!”

The two Stans gave a start and stared at Fiddleford, who had jumped to his feet and scowled at them.

“This darn tootin’ bad blood has gone on far enough, I reckon,” Fidds grumbled, spitting into a nearby spittoon (Ford cringed). “Fortunately for you fellers, I come from a big family, and we have a tried and tested method for airin’ out our grievances. First things first, we’re all marchin’ into the kitchen to eat somethin’ and to give Stan a chance to rest up a bit, then we reconvene back here. We are not leaving this house until this is resolved. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?”

The other two men nodded as they allowed Fidds to herd them to the kitchen.

xxx

2012

“…and that’s how Fiddleford mended our relationship,” Stan concluded. He had taken off his six-fingered glove and was wringing it in his five-fingered hands throughout the telling of the story.

“It took us hours, but we managed to get there,” Fidds said, shaking his graying blond head.

Sitting between his friend and twin, Ford looked at their audience. Dipper, Mabel and Soos the handyman-slash-spare Mr. Mystery stared at them in varying degrees of awe.

“And all this time, Grunkle Stan has been pretending to be Stanford while the real Stanford has been hiding under the Mystery Shack-slash-Institute of Oddology looking for an anti-gnoming serum,” Dipper murmured. He looked at the three elderly men in front of him and sighed. “I’m so sorry for doubting you guys.”

Stan shrugged. “It’s okay, Dipper,” he said gruffly, smiling at them. “I wouldn’t have believed me either.”

“This is nothing like my fanfic, but I’m not mad!” Soos declared, wiping the corner of his eye. “This is so much more EPIC!”

“I have a question,” piped up Mabel. She raised Journal 3 in the air and pointed to a page entitled “My Muse”; the title was crossed out and replaced with a red-inked “LIAR”. “What’s this Muse thing all about?”

Ford peered at the page, then groaned. “Ugh, that’s another long story…”

“Want to make it SHORT, Sixer?” asked Stan, wagging his eyebrows.

Ford glared at his brother before clearing his throat. “That…well, that nearly became the biggest regret of my life and also the reason the Institute of Oddology exists. I had hit a road block in my investigation of Gravity Falls…”

And Ford recounted how he had summoned Bill Cipher, who he initially thought was his friend and Muse. The triangular being managed to convince Ford that the path to greatness lies in building a Portal.

“As y’all know, that’s when he called me in,” Fidds interjected. “But before we could test it, Ford got bitten and turned into a gnome.”

Ford nodded. “Weirdly enough, this turned out to be a good thing. We stopped working on it to try and find a cure for what I have. It wasn’t until Stan got here that we realized that Bill was playing me for a fool.”

“A conman always knows,” said Stan, tapping the side of his head.

“He wanted us to build the Portal to connect his world with ours, which could have been catastrophic!” said Ford, shuddering at what could have been. “Once we realized what we were dealing with, we shut the Portal down until we were able to protect the cabin with unicorn hair and build the Dimensional Vortex Neutralizer.”

“That is so cool,” Dipper whispered. He looked at his newly-discovered Grunkle and pulled out a pen. “Grunkle Ford, can I ask you a billion questions about Gra—”

“All right kids, it’s getting late,” Stan intervened, standing up. He snapped on his six-fingered gloves and herded the three of them towards the elevator. “You can interrogate Ford tomorrow.”

“But…”

“Go to bed!” Stan gritted out, pushing them towards the elevator.

“I’m not going to bed!” Mabel shouted. “I’m knitting MORE sweaters for my new Grunkle!”

“And I gotta call Wendy!” Soos declared.

Back inside the secret lab, Ford and Fidds looked at each other and shook their heads.

“Do you have any regrets for agreeing to come out here, Fidds?” Ford asked.

Fiddleford shook his head and smiled.

#forduary #week 2: science (weirdness)#stanford pines #stanley pines #fiddleford hadron mcgucket #dipper pines #mabel pines #soos ramirez #gnome ford au #gravity falls #fanfic

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