#she cannot be mentally ill; she cannot be disabled; if she is queer then it is in a way that is wholly self-contained and complete

[stellerssong]

ok sorry the OTHER thing about lucienne is like. as previously stated she is dream's handpicked emissary from the waking world to the dreaming she's the diplomat in chief she's the translator she's the bridge. because the dreaming is, in a very real way, dream's own psyche, this is tantamount to giving lucienne a tremendous degree of access to his interiority and by transitive property also tantamount to entering into a deeply emotionally intimate relationship with her (unimportant for the purposes of this post whether that relationship is platonic or romantic).

now, in general, looking at the pattern of dream's close emotional relationships—dream doesn't share himself with people as a rule (beyond the access that all things that live have to the dreaming; but i'm talking about his self here, the one he doesn't like to acknowledge he even has), but when he does share with people, it's with people who have some shadow on the soul, so to speak. just looking at attested relationships in show canon, his deepest emotional connection seems to be with death, who embodies the duality of light and dark even better than he does himself. calliope is the muse of epic poetry—heroism and tragedy—and also bears the sort of divine pride that led her to cut dream off for hundreds or thousands of years when he wronged her. the less said about that other guy, the better, but he's no sunshine-rainbows-unicorns type—he's a soldier of fortune, a bandit and a killer, a man who profits from the sale of human life. even best bird matthew, in comix canon, had a sordid past that will maybe be partially retconned for the show but has still been gestured at.

dream likes the complicated ones. he's drawn to them. they speak to something in him that he won't acknowledge in himself (he has to be Whole, fully integrated, without reservation, because he is the king and he is the dreaming and if the dreaming ain't whole then the universe is in trouble—but he feels that ache nonetheless).

all that is to say: when people try to portray lucienne as dream's Designated Well-Adjusted Neurotypical Friend, i begin to harm and maim.

#chatter #as usual there is a larger pattern of behavior around this post that has been making me crazy for some time #it's the ''holder of the braincell'' trope but it's also just like the flattening of female characters of color in every possible dimension #so many people are terrified. TERRIFIED. to imagine a woman of color's pain #because the demands of shallow progressivism are such that they require you to acknowledge that A Black Woman Has Suffered More #Than Anyone Else Ever In The History Of The World Ever; Because Of Racism #but the demands of wider fandom are such that they require you to buy into the concept that A White Man's Suffering #Is The Only Suffering Worthy Of Care Attention Or Interest. #can't handle the dichotomy so instead they create the imago of a Black woman who has never suffered anything ever #she cannot be mentally ill; she cannot be disabled; if she is queer then it is in a way that is wholly self-contained and complete #and not ambiguous or in flux in any way; and most important of ALL she can never have experienced racism. #because racism As We Know is the worst form of suffering. so if she'd suffered racism then that would make her more worthy of #compassion than White Guy No. 37. which must not be #the very idea that lucienne is simply at peace with herself and the dreaming with no further complication.......like! #WOMEN OF COLOR ARE NEVER AFFORDED THAT KIND OF CERTAINTY. ARE YOU STUPID. #and by the way being reserved/calm/unassuming/practical are NOT absolute indicators of mental wellness. #y'all can see this when it's a white guy what is your fucking DAMAGE when it comes to women of color. #OPEN YOUR EYES. USE YOUR POWERS OF DEDUCTIVE REASONING. DREAM DIDN'T CHOOSE HER TO BE HIS THERAPIST. #DREAM CHOSE HER BECAUSE; PRESUMABLY; SHE ACHES. SHE CONTRADICTS. SHE GRAPPLES WITH THE SHADOW ON THE MIND. #SOMETHING IN HIM SEES A KINDRED SOUL IN HER. WAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

[blinkpen]

nother lil life update!

appointment with housing admin lady got rescheduled to tuesday, but that's not too big a deal since that is the soonest day they could officially open up that apartment for me anyway, so if the answer was going to be yes, rescheduling when i get the yes to said day, doesn't delay the move-in, except by like, maybe, one more additional day of just. going back to get/move my stuff? so i am Unbothered and maintain the same level of cautious optimism leaned optimism as before

and again my stress level is way lower now knowing there is likely a light at the end of the tunnel (hell that a tunnel even EXISTS now) and mom is, at least for now, sobered by the intervention of other adults for whom going

"ummmmm but the very existence of trans identity is a personal attack against me and my beliefs bc i believe their existence is blasphemous they stole the rainbow from christians and desecrated the noah's arc story that's why i'm so mean to [not my fucking pronoun] whenever anything remotely close to the topic of gender comes up, asking nicely to so mach as -gag noises- humor they/them is a deliberate attack on me first, and forcing the queer agenda on me, so i get to attack back with full venom unloaded and vote in favor of making queer peoples' lives more difficult if not impossible, so like, i'm the victim actually? [not my fucking pronoun] needs to stop being so entitled and unholy and learn to deal with Different Opinions and stop Undermining me"

will not fucking fly and she can't make inflict Power Word: Guilt Trip to make them crumple away the way she does to me to instantly win and make the argument stop so she is now not pushing buttons and keeping her toxicity to herself methinks bc "ah fuck, an actually benevolent authority figure nobody in town would question is looking at how much my grown but wingclipped and disabled child's mental and now physical health has deteriorated to life-threateningly poor levels and looking in my direction while Knowing details i cannot possibly spin in my favor to outside observers; the only people who'd swoop in to take my side would only make me look worse by association, though i'll probably still refuse to think about The Implications of that, so i will Be Mask On now about it if nothing else"

like she got a stark fucking reminder i think of the fact she is a mean person who publicly boasts about being mean because she thinks its funny and also equates being smart with being cynical and therefore if you're aggressively cynical you're automatically smarter than whoever you are talking to or about, and is the kind of person who literally owns a "leftist tears" coffee mug, while claiming herself a Good christian just because she didn't kick me out for being queer like the Bad christians do, but like, she can still give me shit for being queer as much as she likes and if i stand up for myself i'm an ungrateful little bitch, those are her Vibes,

and being that way, makes it hard to defend yourself as totally innocent of any wrongdoing and victim-blame someone most people in town know, by contrast, as "the borderline mute Always a Hoodie n Headphones kid who spends a lot of time just wandering around town for the heck of it and seems a bit touched in the head/lost in their own little world, but is unfailingly friendly if you do try to talk to them for whatever reason, and will sincerely ask if they could be of any assistance to anyone who enters their cone of vision who seems to be in a pickle" once they start developing what seems like a wasting illness and an aura of hopelessness they didn't have before and finally show up at the hospital looking like they're about to drop dead from what is clearly several months of physiological stress and self-neglect and they don't even have their meds handy because you locked their disabled ass out in retaliation for leaving for one single night because you wouldn't stop screaming at them about how their gender thing is blasphemous and [checks notes] eavesdropping in on them while they shower to make sure not even their anguished crying and muttering to themself even in there isn't saying anything you don't like??? what the f-

even the crusty old farmer i know who i guess probably would go "not sure i like that but whatever" about transness otherwise enters "now what makes you think that makes [not my pronoun but i forgive bc its not done Maliciously] less of a person, what makes you think that's okay" mode over that

lol, said the frog, as a human hand scoops it out of the water just in time, and places it on a nice log where it may recover from the sting, while pointing to the sinking scorpion suggesting they go to therapy instead of stinging everyone around them and going "but i'm a scorpion so that means i am not responsible for my actions and nobody is allowed to expect better of me" lmao,

okay that went from a life update to me venting a bit? but. i eared that i think, it helps keep my grounded, hoenstly.

anyway we gotta send my doc a fruit basket or somn

#cw for discussions of transphobia and all that

[songoftrillium]

Meet The (Updated) Writing Team

Hello Kinfolks! These last two months have been quiet for y'all in terms of updates, but BUSY in terms of the work being done by the sept of contributors to this project!

At the start of October I put out the call for help, saying that this project cannot succeed without the help and support of the Werewolf fandom. I'm happy to report that you as a fandom have responded phenomenally, and production on this series is now underway! These last few months have been dedicated to recruiting team members, and researching our book framework. We've about filled in the main core of the team, and have already gotten started writing Book 1: Cliath!

October through November has been dedicated entirely to research, both putting together a collection of citations we'll be using in this first book, and passing out initial writing assignments. This list is sure to grow in time, but for now we have plenty of work to do!

With that all said, I'd like to introduce you to the team that are showcasing the Gaians.

Amy Waller (she/her)

Bluesky

Ms. Waller is a freelance writer and massage therapist based in not-quite Northern Virginia, and is a contributor to D.W.A.R.V.S. . Werewolf the Apocalypse was her first RPG, and she loves the themes of shapechanging as self-actualization and of trying to balance instinct and wisdom.

Amy has joined the team to depict the journals of Cryptobiologist Esme "Leaping Ghost".

Bek Andrew Evans (He/They)

Linktree

Mx. Evans is a freelance writer and illustrator from Jackson, Mississippi. He explores themes of mental illness, disability, abuse, poverty, queer themes and the intersection of these statuses. He uses body and psychological horror, meticulous attention to medical details, and deep character dives as some of his favorite methods to achieve those goals.

Bek has been indispensible in book research, and will be taking his experience with M20 Sorcerer and writing for the Hearthbound, and fictitious news article citations.

Evie Emerson Smith (She/It)

Tumblr

Evie is a programmer and designer of video games living with her pack in Pittsburgh, PA. She uses primarily anthropomorphic characters to tell stories about identity, queerness, and the power of community.

She has joined the team as a technical writer, and contributor to the opening comic: Cracking The Bone

Excelgarou (She/Her)

Carrd

She's been described as a Werewolf: The Apocalypse academic, and wears this title proudly. She labors at all hours on resources for Werewolf fans - particularly as regards aggregating otherwise obscure information - such as the Build-a-Veteran tool or (especially) the Werewolf Index Project.

Excelgarou is our lead researcher, ensuring our book citations and narrative voices remain consistent through all editions. She has also been conscripted to write the introductory passage on the World of Darkness, and to redraft the Children of Gaia.

James E. Deeley (He/Him)

Linktree

Jim has been playing, running, and writing for tabletop roleplaying games since he was first introduced to them over twenty years ago. Jim has presented on the subject of writing for games since 2010, and has been contracted to write mechanics and to do character design by the likes of High Level Games, Lostlorn Games, and Renegade Game Studios, but is equally skilled at writing lore and narrative, skills honed over two decades of running roleplaying games and medieval studies, lending a deep historical context to his writings.

Jim will write the Western Concordat, showcasing the Silver Fangs, Fianna, Get of Fenris, and Glass Walkers.

J.F. Sambrano (They/He)

Patreon

J. F. Sambrano is an author of horror and (urban/dark/depressing?) fantasy and an advocate for indigenous rights. He lives in Washington (the state) and is originally from Los Angeles (the city); the differences are staggering but the ocean and the I-5 are the same. He is Chiricahua Apache (Ndeh) and Cora Indian (Náayarite). He may or may not be a believer/practitioner of real world magic. If he were, he would not be interested in your hippy-dippy, crystal swinging, dream-catcher slinging garbage.But magic is real, let’s not fuck around.

Beloved Indigenous World of Darkness author J.F. Sambrano is joining our team to depict the Bastet in the Dawn Tribes! A friend and frequent topic of discussion on this blog, we are honored to have him on the team to bring the Werewolf: the Apocalypse he's long-felt the world deserves to life!

LeeKat (She/Her)

Linktree

Lee is a freelance artist, writer, and English teacher based in Brazil. The bulk of her content is furry, homoerotic, and TTRPG-centric works. Her writing focuses on exploring the depths of emotion with tales of self-discovery, queerness, and finding hope in a desolate world.

A huge lover of Werewolf, themes of generational trauma and rediscovering oneself in a world of turmoil resonated deeply, as well as themes of spirituality and ancestry. Writing for this project, she hopes to bring others the same catharsis she felt through exploring the books and their many themes.

Mórag (it/its)

Tumblr

Mòrag is a writer and botanist from Te Wai Pounamu. It writes both botanical articles and horror stories, the former to raise awareness of ecological issues and the latter to explore what it means to be human, represent trans and autistic experiences, and addiction. It's horror writing is best recognized for its use of visceral first-person perspectives, body horror, and the grotesque. It is influenced heavily by works such as the Hellraiser films and the philosophies of Georges Bataille.

It has joined our team to write the story portions of the Song of Trillium, showcasing the legend of Tawatuy.

#world of darkness #werewolf: the apocalypse #dead mountain #werewolf the apocalypse #werewolves #w5 #werewolf the essentials #indie games #indie ttrpg #horror ttrpg #queer writers #queer ttrpg #witers #ttrpg #indigenous authors #brazilian authors

[ofsappho]

I completely understand you sometimes needing to answer "no comment" to our more spoiler-y asks. 😁 I am just happy you allow us to posts asks at all, because it's fun. Not to be a perv, but I am looking forward to chapter 29's smut. I respect how you write realistic BDSM themes. 👌 I am curious if Dream's ever fully gotten to embrace the Dom part of himself before Reader? He seemed sort of surprised how quickly she responded. Also, is she just a Sub or a Switch?

MASSIVE INFODUMP INCOMING

🔞

I love writing realistic kink. It’s so fun for me. If you’ve read Heartless, my Ghost x Reader fic, you know I love me some good kink representation. Chapter 29 will be a super fun exploration of primal kink and CNC.

I want to note that without much further detail, I myself am a part of my local kink community, most of my friends are also a part of my local kink community, and I bring quite a few years of experience with me to the writing table!

(All of my friends, including myself, are queer/trans and various permutations of disabled, chronically ill, neurodivergent, mentally ill, etc. Many local kink spaces to me are some of the most disability accessible spaces in our area. At least a third of the kinky people I see and socialize with on a regular basis are visibly physically disabled. We continued to mask far past the expiration of our local mask mandates.)

While Dream is and always will be a dom, Reader has more way experience with modern kink culture and norms than he has.

Modern kink was very much pioneered by the queer/trans scene of the Weimar Republic in the 1920s and 30s, and then again by Western queer people of the 50s through today. Morpheus would have been in the cage during all of this massive cultural creation and evolution.

What to him might have been something he would need to “acclimate” past partners to is now normal in this (relatively) new subculture. And Reader is very familiar with this subculture.

Reader is definitely a sub. Unfortunately, I tend to write from experience and I really cannot make myself relate to any other mindset 🤣. I do view stuff like d/s as not just actions but mindsets, personalities, and approaches to relationships.

Morpheus needs to be in “control”. He wants someone he can care for, protect, help, guide, etc. I have him characterized as someone who needs a productive, positive outlet for these existing control tendencies. Reader needs someone who can care for her, who can help her, guide her, etc. That’s something she wants and knows is good for her.

Brushing her hair, feeding her, etc, these are all d/s things that are mutually fulfilling for Morpheus and Reader.

I could literally rant about this for forever, so I’ll stop here lol.

#treehouse #the sandman #dream of the endless x you #dream of the endless x reader #sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus x reader #morpheus x you #lord morpheus #lord morpheus x reader #lord morpheus x you #Morpheus

[artdecosupernova-writing]

WASTE

sci-fi ▼ cyberpunk ▼ synthwave/neo-80s queer rep ▼ disability ▼ mental illness abuse ▼ addiction/recovery Darkspace Portent Series spin-off ▼ takes place before Thriving: Rebirth

▷ Guetry Sympa is a livewire and an adrenaline junkie, a musically talented hero with lawful blindness, so having a government-funded AI implanted in his brain to control most of his bodily systems after nearly dying isn't exactly an easy adjustment to make.

▷ Of course, there's no better way to cope with a hard breakup and recover from a five-month-long coma than by being forced by the Consortium to enlist a team of fellow contract agents for a covert operation...

▷ ...To solve a centuries-old cold case involving the mysterious disappearance of the Milky Way's enigmatic savior.

Playlist: Precious Gems and Reaver Rock

GUETRY DANON SYMPA ▼ French-American ▼ scorpio ▼ human ▼ Earth ▼ a gifted musician and elite member of a special forces task unit working for the Consortium, aided by an AI in his brain that keeps his quality of life ideal after an overdose that left him otherwise brain-dead for five months. wise-cracking smartass unafraid to tear the system apart for what's right.

SUBCUTANEOUS OPERATIONAL and TACTICAL SYSTEM (SCOT) ▼ "Scotty" ▼ artificial intelligence ▼ NodeSource ▼ prototype embedded in Guetry's brain to undo most of the damage from his overdose and keep him functional. added benefits of enhancing his eyesight and aim, providing intel on missions, and overall companionship.

ALECTURA WU ▼ Chinese ▼ aquarius(?) ▼ human ▼ Consortium Node ▼ talented spaceship mechanic and other half of the band Skywaste, co-founded by Guetry when both were in high school. doesn't like going out into the field, will also fight tooth and nail for justice where there is none.

OREN ALTAVIAN ▼ capricorn ▼ human ▼ the Himalaya ▼ self-proclaimed "entrepreneur of seedydom" and known around the Milky Way as the "Kingpin of the Node." slings the hard stuff around the galaxy and gets paid handsomely for it. endlessly charming but willfully manipulative. tends to get his way no matter what, especially at the expense of those around him who think they care for him.

ADAM "MERCURY'' LYONS ▼ scorpio ▼ human ▼ Earth ▼ also an operative for the Consortium with his identical twin sister Quincy "Mars" Lyons. a bit more by the book, but willing to do what's right even if it means risking his job. a fiery complement and challenge for Guetry both personally and professionally. 

TUXTH ▼ Rotangan ▼ Logoryt ▼ a child of a Rotangan and a biracial Rontangan/Morrite, born on the seedy planet of Logoryt. in order to combat the rough upbringing she endured, she makes a name for herself by taking on missions for the Consortium, doing her part to chip away at the Morrite Blue Prince Hyret's goal to completely overrun the Milky Way.

DAZIA FOURTEEN ▼ sagittarius(?) ▼ human ▼ Consortium Node ▼ it's unknown what Dazia's origins are other than her birthplace of the Node, though it's alleged that she's of Hispanic, Slavic, and Middle Eastern descent. used to work for Consortium security until she witnessed corrupt activity within the ranks. tough as nails but all heart.

A soft tone swirling in the waves of dark gray and flashes I couldn't decipher. Purple pulsing light. A haze, more flashing images. White lights, gloves, whirring, thumping, squashing. Hot white stars. Burnt umber pain. Scorching pink fire. Numbness in muted blue. Sparking stings. Another soft tone. A smooth yet mechanical voice right inside both of my ears at once. Hello, Guetry. I am your Subcutaneous Operational and Tactical system. What. You have suffered a great deal of neurological damage and I am going to attempt to repair as much as I can. Your next of kin has given full consent to this procedure. The fuck. I am only a prototype as of yet so I must be transparent...there may be some functions I cannot fully restore, but I will do my best to make sure you are healed well enough to wake up and are able to do the remaining recovery yourself. Is this.

#tw flashing #wip intro #WASTE

[altoids-lover]

Hello all!

apologies if this is a double of an unfinished post, my internet is going nuts right now.

I will apologize in advance for any rudeness you make take from this post, but i assure you i am trying to be as respectful as possible. I wanted to share my opinions on the TransID and Radqueer community.

I personally do not view any of these “identities” as valid, nor are they okay at all. You cannot identify as a different age, race, gender, or mental state. And for all you pedophiles out there that think you are okay, you arent. You are not a valid part of the queer community. Also, identifying as mentally ill or disabled when you are otherwise healthy is a sickening thing to do and it honestly feels insulting and nauseating to know that their are people who want these horrible things so badly. I myself am a diagnosed autistic and have been since childhood, and to see people saying that they “identify as autistic” is something i cant stand. You cant be a trans criminal. You are either a criminal or you are not, there is no “identification”. I truly hope that one day you find the help and social life that you need, but if it makes you feel any better you do most likely currently suffer from delirium and the disease we call “misinformation” has spread to you. Xenogenders are on really thin ice, but i can tolerate them as a form of creative expression.

if you need examples, here are some valid trans identities:

TransMasc

TransFemme

Non-Binary

Bigender

Pangender

Agender

DemiGirl

DemiBoy

DemiGender

Genderfluid

Boyflux

Girlflux

GenderFlux

There are more, but i cannot list them all.

Another thing i would like to point out; Lesbians can NOT go by he/him. If you are a “he/him lesbian” you are just a straight man. Same goes for “she/her gays”. When you are gender non-conforming, the proper terms may be trixic or sapphic.

Just my takes. Do what you will, but please understand my intentions are not to enrage or be rude, but to inform and help. I would say more but i suppose this little tangent has gone on long enough.

P.S: I am a trans man myself. I would also like to point out that by “thin ice” i meant that some xenogenders are over-the-top and are just plain weird, like *insert character/person*gender. I am just tired of misinformation being spread, and people spitting out lies confidently. I really dislike liars and people who are confidently wrong.

#radqueer #transid #anti radqueer #queer community #transx #anti transx #transabled #transspecies #transage #anti transid #transgender

[cakeboxie]

I think the reason Halsin and Zevlor (and Jaheria but I don’t post about her often) appeal to me so much as characters is bc they’re old and queer. Halsins varied queerness is an inherent fact of his character, and I heavily hc Zev as a cis gay man and jaheria as a straight transfem.

I only recently realized why I like that so much, it’s because it’s incredibly likely I won’t get old.

Tw. Death, graphic descriptions of chronic illness, mention of genocide, violence fuelled by bigotry.

I’m kinda just rambling in hopes that maybe someone like me will get comfort from knowing that they’re not alone.

I’m mixed, visibly queer, physically disabled, chronically ill and poor in an extremely conservative area. One of my only clear memories before 2016 is being told I wouldn’t live to see 13 bc of all the things wrong with me. I could drop dead from any number of physical issues, I could be killed for being queer, I could be murdered as a “joke” (this whole thing was prompted by an article about a group of teenagers who pushed a wheelchair user to her death in front of a train a few months back bc they thought it was funny. I was at the exact station where it happened, in my wheelchair, waiting for the train.) because I’m supposed to use a mobility aid, which means murder is okay, apparently.

I don’t know any old queers either, I’m not fond of adult themed events but there was a time when I forced myself to go anyway. Just to see people who really and truly lived.

And there was no one.

I know why there wasn’t, but still.

The oldest queer person I’ve ever known was 37, and 39 when she was murdered.

I suppose I just want to hope that someone like me will be able to grow old, and be truly and completely happy.

A part of me is guilty about that, in a weird sort of way. Be the change you want to see in the world and what have you, but I quite literally can’t.

Protests rarely stay peaceful here bc of pigs (cops) and violence fueled by bigotry. I cannot move fast enough to get away.

I can’t afford to donate, I have to live with two people who are, frankly, incredibly bad for my mental health bc this province believes $500 a month covers rent (if I had to pay rent and not just utilities my third would be close to $600 with 3 people in a 2 bedroom, we could not find a cheaper place.)

I do my daily clicks for Palestine (one on each device + in incognito), I keep myself as up to date as I can handle without breaking down. (Particularly genocide is something that has been a constant in my life, Ukrainian/indigenous, somehow both the 2nd generation to be born in Canada and the 2nd generation to be born off the reserve. I physically cannot handle reading about it without making myself legitimately sick a lot of the time, I’m guilty about that too.)

My silly little pngs don’t have to worry about that. They’re only sad when I say they are, otherwise they are happy and they are loved. Loved in a way I can’t even understand, really. I don’t know what it’s like to sit on a counter and kiss my partner while I’m cooking, I don’t know what it’s like to be domestic. It feels weird and edgy to say but it’s true, I don’t know what life is like without pain and exhaustion and struggle. I have fought tooth and nail to make myself a safe space and still it does not exist outside myself. I have exactly 10.2 square meters that are truly safe, and even when I am safe I am in pain, my joints ache and dislocate and fight me when I try to move.

So I draw my silly little pngs, and hope that someone will eventually be happy like that. Because even when everyone is shitty hope is really fucking important. And I can do that, dear gods I can hope. As hard as I can I hope for change.

#should I put character tags on this? #idk man #I want to #bc I want people to see it and know that there are other people #like them/like me #but also #the wider fandom scares me #with how they treat Halsin and Wyll particularly #ik wyll isn’t a focus of this post but he could be very easily included #bc I also don’t see queer poc #I know why that is (queer spaces here are still extremely racist) #I wish I had the means to change that #anyway #cakewrites #bg3 halsin #bg3 zevlor #jaheria

[getitoffyourchestofficial]

hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)

you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control

(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)

im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow

todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)

Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.

And idk if you want it but here's a tea

☕

[ghostcaterwaul-doesnt-write]

Writeblr Intro

About Me:

Name(s): Dorian, Malice, or Ghost. Call me whichever you’d like!

Age: 30

Gender: Non-binary/Genderfluid (fluidity stays outside the binary)

Pronouns: All pronouns are applicable.

Genre(s): I tend to write realistic fiction. More specifically, I like writing angst, hurt/comfort (sometimes hurt/no comfort), and romance (usually dark romance or romantic tragedies). I would like to experiment more with speculative fiction, especially fantasy and horror. I also write fanfic from time to time, as well as poetry. I also tend to write about a lot of queer, mentally ill and neurodivergent characters. I'd like to write more BIPOC characters as well, but I'm white and lack the lived experience, so I'm a little nervous about that. I've been trying to do the necessary amount of research and self-education to portray such characters correctly. I cannot afford to pay a sensitivity reader at this time, which contributes to my hesitation in regard to writing BIPOC characters. I do have some in development, I'm just not confident in my ability to write such characters at this point in time.

Other: I’m disabled, mentally ill, and neurodivergent.

This is a sideblog, my main is @ghostcaterwaul.

Original Fic WIPs:

A Chaotic Love (working title) Mallory Blythe is tired of her life with her fundamentalist Christian family in the small town of Cherry Valley. When the town’s local bad boy, Jeremy Wolfe, offers her an escape from her mundane world, a turbulent romance ensues between them, and Mallory begins to question if she was ready to start a life in the real world like she’s always longed for.

Suburban Secrets (working title) A look at the darker side of suburbia, centering around two outcast sisters, Lieselotte and Heloise Moon. What lies beneath the facade of the perfect suburb of Hollow Falls, with its white picket fences, perfectly manicured lawns, and top-of-the-line schools?

Devyn and The Roses (working title) Chronicles the career of an electro-glam-punk band fronted by Devyn Valentyne, Prince of Hearts. Told through a collection of articles, transcripts, interviews, lyrics, journal entries, and letters. Will Devyn and his bandmates, Levi and Natalie Rose, survive the turbulent life of sex, drugs, and rock & roll? Or will the band go down in history as another rock & roll tragedy?

An Untitled Occult Detective Series The spooky adventures of Wesley Williams and his non-binary significant other Elliot Alexander. Think along the lines of The X-Files, Supernatural, etc. but with an indie emo hipster hacker who sees dead things and a punk rock sci-fi nerd and they’re in love.

Fanfic WIPs:

Untitled Metal Lords Fic The story of my OC, Alice Hansen, and her relationships with the characters in the movie. I hope to tell this in a non-linear narrative that will jump around to events before, during, and after the movie.

I’ve been struggling with writer’s block for the past several years so all my WIPs are on the back burner as of right now, but I still like to talk about them on here from time to time.

Finished Stories:

Struggling (Link will take you to AO3) - A The 100 polyamorous Memori x Gender neutral reader fic in which the reader’s relationship with Murphy and Emori is already established and the reader struggles with their mental health and Murphy and Emori do their best to be supportive while witnessing the worst of it.

List of my OCs can be found here.

#writeblr #writeblr intro #writeblr community

[chemacetree]

A letter from a queer daughter to her mom

I love you

I know you love me

You held me in your arms tight, before they rushed me off to the NICU, without even a name picked out for me yet. You were so sick after I was born, and so was Dad, and so was I. What a trio were we! 

And yet, after all the APGAR score scares and the feeding worries and the bouts of preeclampsia and flu, we made it. Your little daughter, your first child and only little girl, named after both of your grandmothers. Here I am, all grown up, and queer. 

Dear Mom, I know you don’t get why queer people are queer, or choose to be out, and marry, and transition, and everything else queer people do. It’s not something you’re really meant to get. It’s not about you. But I know that’s not a satisfactory answer. It wasn’t for me for a long time. I know you don’t know all the right words to say, or the right pronouns to use, or the right phrases to stick to. I get it. I wish I could make it easier for you to keep track of everything; heaven knows how much has changed since you were born. 

You didn’t understand why I felt like I was running out of grace, or having to tiptoe between being queer and being your daughter. You promised that you’d love me and treat me well no matter what, and I believe you. I promise that I know you love me. 

I don’t know if you’d love my best friends, if you knew. I don’t know you’d take me seriously if I told you that the “boy” who wanted to date me in high school was actually a girl, or if you’d write her off as being too mentally ill to really know. I don’t know if you’d be excited for me to visit my internet friends if you knew they were getting married, as two non-binary people, instead of moving to a new country. It feels like every queer person you can think of has some extenuating circumstance or excuse to make you wonder if they’re really queer, or just traumatized, which doesn’t really comfort your daughter, diagnosed autistic and wondering if you blame my sexuality on my disability. Not, to be fair, that you’ve said anything to that effect. 

There is a whole part of my life that I just cannot share with you. How am I supposed to tell the person who spent an hour raging about trans people “forcing new grammar on people” that I’m happiest in my own body when I look visibly queer? That I want to be seen, not just as a girl, but a queer girl? That, if you didn’t FaceTime every week, I’d hang a pride flag in my room next to my crucifix and rosary? 

I dyed my hair and bought “unprofessional” skirts and got a button up with whales on it. I started doing my hair more and putting in hairbows and dressing up for no reason. I put pins with colorful beads on my lanyard. You see the clothes and the hair bows and the shoes and think “finally, she’s taking an interest in her clothing after twenty years”. I see the way my rainbow-pin-wearing classmates clock me and drop the tension in their shoulders. 

You have told me since I was little that God blessed me with a big heart. For a while, I wrestled with that, because I was naïve and gullible and too emotional for everything. It’s hard to make peace with, some days, that trusting people wholeheartedly sometimes means being led astray or hurt. But you encouraged me to surround myself with good Christian people, people with kindness and compassion, people who loved openly and gave generously without counting the cost. I have found them! I’ve found the people I want to grow up to become, people who love openly and warmly and reflect God’s love to others. And they are very often queer.

It keeps ending up that way, funnily enough. The people who seem to most embody God’s love keep ending up queer, or very supportive of queer people. And I think I understand why; the longer I held vinegar in my mouth, dripping hatred and condescension for queer people, the harder it became to love without some measure of distrust and fear, because what if they were gay? Or trans? Or something else I didn’t understand? I spent so long not knowing my own sexuality because I flatly refused to acknowledge it, even when my friends point-blank asked. I spent even longer terrified of how you reacted when I told you. My brother outed me. I’m lucky I’m the palatable flavor of queer for you, so you could encourage me to be a nun instead of trying to keep me from kissing girls or wearing boy’s clothes. 

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to do all the time. It matters that you care. It matters that you try. Queer people are not your enemy. They’re my people. Not some nebulous “them” with an agenda; but my community, my friends, and me. What you say about the most baffling and unpalatable queer person you can think of, in the privacy of your car ride home, you say about the comprehensible, palatable queer daughter in that car. 

I want to be able to tell you about my friends, my classmates, even my favorite DND podcasts. I want to be able to tell you about how cis people can get gender euphoria after all, and that when I looked in the mirror that first time with my blue hair and my new skirt, I got it. I want to be able to tell you that I’m finally going to participate in a wedding as the maid of honor, and not just the flower girl.

I wish I could rejoice with you and show you the Side A churches in our city, and have you come to Mass with me there one time. One day, when we’re both older, I hope we still can. There is so much joy to be had in being an openly queer child of God. 

Please come home with me. I want you in my life.

Sincerely, 

Your queer daughter, who loves you very much

[fluffy-froggie]

Blog Info!!

-

About Me!!

Name: Dee

Species: Human-Ish

Pronouns: they/them

Preferred Titles: Mx. or Mixter

Preferred Terms: Default to neutral or masculine unless otherwise specified.

Age: 16-18, my age is weird 'cause of plural stuff, and age regression. The body is 18 years old.

Role in the system: Default fronter for when nobody else can/will front, ex-host

Significant Labels: queer, transgender, gamyflux, plural, identiflux

Partners: None

Favorite Colors: Oranges, blues, and purples

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Boundaries

Okay for everyone: tagging me in posts, sending in asks, asking to be friends, nondirected swearing, asking about my system, reblogging/liking/commenting on things I post, compliments, claiming an emoji for anon stuff, and infodumping in my ask box

Ask First Unless You're a Friend: DMs, touch, RPs

Please don't do this: Venting in my ask box, fakeclaiming me, reality checking me without asking, trying to trigger me on purpose

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DNI and BYF

Please DNI if you fall under these categories:

transrace (adoption term is fine, transx term is not)

transabled (BIID is fine)

transage (chronosian is fine)

anti-endogenic systems

anti-contradictory identities (mspec gays/lesbians, binary nonbinary people, she/her gays, he/him lesbians, lesboys, gaybians, etc.)

anti researched self-diagnosis

ALM/Trump supporters/prolife/hard right politics

incest/consang supporters

pro/complex contact pedophiles/necrophiles/zoophiles (you can interact if you're strictly anti-contact, but if you're pro-contact for anything that cannot consent then block me immediately.)

ableist

sexualize agere/petre/other coping mechanisms

pro-ana/pro-ED

Terfs/swerfs/radfems/ect.

Before you Follow:

I am 18 years old, I am white, I am disabled, mentally ill, and neurodivergent. I am not good with tone or social cues, and I use tone tags a lot. I'm part of a mixed origins system, and I don't front a lot. I age regress and pet regress, but will probably not post during those times. I'm still figuring out my identity, so the "About Me" section is subject to change a bit as time goes on. Not everything I post or reblog will be sfw, most likely. If that bothers you I suggest not following me or blocking nsfw tags.

-

Miscellaneous Stuff

System and Headmate Blogs:

@virgil-the-cat-bat -Virgil's Blog

@intrusiveduke - Remus's Blog

@the-amazing-dragon-witch - Helio's Blog

@sheep-n-sleep - Emile's Blog

@the-catboy-princess -Roman's Blog

@ruff-rabbit-rhyme - Noiz's Blog

@the-milky-way-system - Main System Blog

@blurred-pride - System Mogai Coining Blog

Current Hyperfixtions:

SkipTheTutorial on youtube, mogai stuff, EazySpeezy on youtube, Markiplier on youtube, Jacksepticeye on youtube, Wings Of Fire, Warrior Cats, The Riordanverse

#fluffy-froggie #byf #dni #about me

[eaterofghosts]

A letter to my mom that she’ll never see

Dear mom,

I remember well being younger and listening to you talk about our family’s generational curses. How they haunted you and how you did what you could to break them. I have experienced enough of them myself, and I will be the one to break them. Unfortunately I cannot heal the wounds, or myself, while around symptoms of the issue. I am still untangling the web of things I learned growing up and the things that hurt me. A lot of it was from you and dad, but after seeing what happened to David I knew I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want to make things worse. I wish that I could talk and you would hear me, but I don’t know if that has ever happened in my life before.

I believe with all my heart that you are a loving and good individual, but you also have many thoughts, beliefs, and actions that are directly against what and who I am. That are harmful to me and always have been. But instead of seeing your child for who she is and loving her you got more intrenched in your misinformation and paranoia. In your harmful thinking. Always shoving me into a box of who you wished I was. And it has always hurt.

I am a bisexual. I am autistic - I get that from dad - and I have a whole slew of other physical and mental illnesses. I practice folk magic, and I’ve traced back our Sicilian roots to the 1600s (something I would have loved to talk with you about if I felt able to tell you). Let’s not even get started on gender. I don’t follow the teachings of the church because of how hurtful they are. How much they hurt me. Being told over and over again that who and what you are is dark, evil, and even demonic is harmful in so many ways. It screws with your head, with your self image. It makes you break down in tears thinking your partner will realize how bad of a person you are one day and leave you. It makes you hate yourself. Pair this with how sheltered you kept me, how all I knew was you and the church, how helpless I grew to be. How your idea of making me “grow up on my own” really left me helpless when I needed you the most. Sure that may not be how you were brought up, but weren’t you the one who said you wanted my life to be better than yours? What’s so bad about me, about caring for your own child? But your beliefs remain the same. Yet there is no “praying away my anxiety” when my childhood and believing in god are the reasons it is there - god I am so fucked up now because of it…

And I’m done hating myself. Because I am beautiful, brilliant, and strong. I am powerful. None of what I am is something I should hide. There is nothing wrong with being neurodivergent, mentally ill, disabled, queer, or occult. There is nothing wrong with me. I wish you could see that, and see how your beliefs are harmful to me. How dads paranoia and misplaced fervor make me terrified of the world he wants to see. Do you think he’d change his mind if I knew I was among every group that he so hates? Do you think he could disentangle himself from the propaganda? I don’t. But I gave up on dad long ago. You, on the other hand…

My heart aches saying goodbye to you. I want to hear you tell me what you are up to, hear your laugh, see the smile I inherited. I want to be rocked in one of your big hugs - I haven’t found anyone who hugs quite as good as you do. I want to go places with you, shopping, errands, travel, and and all of it. I want you at my wedding if that ever happens. It kills me that I can’t, because every time I talk to you I am reminded: you hate everything that I am. I wish you all the best. I love you endlessly and miss you more than you know. I’m sorry I had to do this, but I know it’s for the best. I hope you are able to grow as a person. I hope you are able to get out of this cultish mindset you are in. I hope you are able to love again: truly and unconditionally in the accurate sense of the word. I hope you find help. And most importantly, I hope that one day I get to hug you again.

With all my love,

- Your Rory

#ignore this #i had to scream into the void #trauma dump #tw religious trauma #no contact

[songoftrillium]

Meet The Writing Team

Hello Kinfolks! These last two months have been quiet for y'all in terms of updates, but BUSY in terms of the work being done by the sept of contributors to this project!

At the start of October I put out the call for help, saying that this project cannot succeed without the help and support of the Werewolf fandom. I'm happy to report that you as a fandom have responded phenomenally, and production on this series is now underway! These last few months have been dedicated to recruiting team members, and researching our book framework. We've about filled in the main core of the team, but are always looking for more help.

October through November has been dedicated entirely to research, both putting together a collection of citations we'll be using in this first book, and passing out initial writing assignments. This list is sure to grow in time, but for now we have plenty of work to do!

With that all said, I'd like to introduce you to the team that are showcasing the Gaians. Look under the cut to meet them!

Amy Waller (she/her)

Bluesky Page

Ms. Waller is a freelance writer and massage therapist based in not-quite Northern Virginia, and is a contributor to D.W.A.R.V.S. . Werewolf the Apocalypse was her first RPG, and she loves the themes of shapechanging as self-actualization and of trying to balance instinct and wisdom.

Amy has joined the team to depict the journals of Cryptobiologist Esme "Leaping Ghost".

Bek Andrew Evans (He/They)

Linktree Page

Mx. Evans is a freelance writer and illustrator from Jackson, Mississippi. He explores themes of mental illness, disability, abuse, poverty, queer themes and the intersection of these statuses. He uses body and psychological horror, meticulous attention to medical details, and deep character dives as some of his favorite methods to achieve those goals.

Bek has been indispensible in book research, and will be taking his experience with M20 Sorcerer and writing for the Hearthbound, and fictitious news article citations.

Excelgarou (She/Her)

Carrd Page

She's been described as a Werewolf: The Apocalypse academic, and wears this title proudly. She labors at all hours on resources for Werewolf fans - particularly as regards aggregating otherwise obscure information - such as the Build-a-Veteran tool or (especially) the Werewolf Index Project.

Excelgarou is our lead researcher, ensuring our book citations and narrative voices remain consistent through all editions. She has also been conscripted to write the introductory passage on the World of Darkness, and to redraft the Children of Gaia.

James "Jim" E. Deeley (He/Him)

Linktree Page

Jim has been playing, running, and writing for tabletop roleplaying games since he was first introduced to them over twenty years ago. Jim has presented on the subject of writing for games since 2010, and has been contracted to write mechanics and to do character design by the likes of High Level Games, Lostlorn Games, and Renegade Game Studios, but is equally skilled at writing lore and narrative, skills honed over two decades of running roleplaying games and medieval studies, lending a deep historical context to his writings.

Jim will write the Western Concordat, showcasing the Silver Fangs, Fianna, Get of Fenris, and Glass Walkers.

Mórag (it/its)

Mòrag is a writer and botanist from Te Wai Pounamu. It writes both botanical articles and horror stories, the former to raise awareness of ecological issues and the latter to explore what it means to be human, represent trans and autistic experiences, and addiction. It's horror writing is best recognized for its use of visceral first-person perspectives, body horror, and the grotesque. It is influenced heavily by works such as the Hellraiser films and the philosophies of Georges Bataille.

It has joined our team to write the story portions of the Song of Trillium, showcasing the legend of Tawatuy.

#world of darkness #werewolf: the apocalypse #werewolf the apocalypse #werewolves #world building #werewolf #indie ttrpg #storytellers vault #wta #stv #w5 #Diablos Minions grow stronger

[wolfstar-in-color]

July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.

There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.

It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”

You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.

Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that. 

Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.

There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.

Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?

We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him. 

Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things. 

Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation. 

Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit. 

Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??

We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do). 

This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster. 

Colorfully,

Mod Theo

#wolfstar #disability in fandom #disabled remus #crip remus #please write me some crip remus #I beg of you #fandom meta

[gffa]

I know I've brought this up before, but how much of the fandom reception of the prequels do you think stemmed from the genre dissonance? That the prequels, genre-wise, are closer to high fantasy, while the OT is more an adventure/space western/underdog triumph story.

The prequels also have elements more reminiscent of a romantic period/court drama/Shakespearean tragedy, while if you consider the underdog angle of the OT, the OT also seems kinda similar to some of those inspirational movies about sports teams or something, or a shonen anime with the "Power of Friendship".

I'm just saying, these are rather disparate genres that tend to attract different demographics of people.

And not many people tend to be... great about understanding why they don't like something, much less putting it into words, or understanding that they can dislike something without that something being actually bad. (For example, instead of "I just don't really like [thing]," the usual statement is something along the lines of "[thing] absolutely sucks.")

So the usual response is trying to find (and gather) solidarity while putting down or being condescending towards any dissent, and trying to justify their own dislike. (*gestures vaguely towards pineapple on pizza*)

And historically, it's not uncommon for people to... react strongly towards things they find... different or abnormal, which they judge based on themselves, their emotional response to something, and what they're used to.

Looking at kids, this behavior is... fairly normal. "You're weird," "ew, why do you like that, that's gross," "that's stupid," and so on. A lot of kids/teens/young adults also get defensive really easily. And let's face it--adults are basically just older, taller kids who've had to deal with more of life.

(To be honest, I also get defensive really easily. A lot of people do, and it's... it's normal. The defensive reaction can be lashing out, denial, or just being passive-aggressive or staying silent and tuning it out or mentally rolling your eyes at it. But I'm trying to work on it, because just because it's normal doesn't mean it's a good reaction.)

So, what I'm wondering is whether some fans dislike the prequels simply because it's a different genre...

...but instead of realizing that, they try to defend and justify their dislike by pointing fingers and criticizing whatever stood out or looked different from the OT or cherry-picking details/taking things out of context or making negative conflations (that can be refuted).

Because it's not about logic, it's about how they feel. And people want to feel justified and validated, and we want to feel like we're right and we enjoy staying in our comfort zones. So... yeah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LOL, okay, this response is going to be really disjointed because I went off in like a dozen different tangents and even then it's not enough to cover everything, so just kind of read this in a Scattered Thoughts Nerd kind of tone, where I'm staring off into the distance because Navel Gazing Gets Me Going Sometimes. 😂 In my experience, it's sort of a mix. I don't hang around a lot of people who dislike the prequels (in the sense of dismissing them/not being fannish about them) because, well, that's the heart of my interest in Star Wars, so our areas of interest basically don't really overlap that much, so I don't have a chance to talk to a lot of people and find out their reasons or even how they dislike the prequels, in the bigger trends of fandom. I do think there's an element of what you're talking about, that sometimes people can't just dislike things because it's not their genre of choice, that's absolutely a part of it. Mostly because that's how a lot of people react to anything they don't like (and it's something I and literally everyone else has to work on), there has to be a reason for it that it's objectively bad and, like, I have experienced a lot of people getting mad because I like something in a different way than they do. And I don't mean just in Star Wars fandom, but in almost any given fandom--if someone likes something in a way someone else doesn't, if they talk loudly about it (even within their own space), then there's always a contingent of people who have to find a reason why that person is objectively wrong (or even try to make them morally wrong), rather than just shrugging and going, "We see things differently, my view on things doesn't overwrite theirs and their view on things doesn't overwrite mine." It gets more complicated in instances where fandom attitudes genuinely can be hurtful, especially when they're overlapping into the way real people are treated, likes/dislikes don't 100% exist in a bubble, especially when it comes to queer fans, fans of color, disabled fans, mentally ill fans, etc. But that there are a lot of instances where fandom culture has always been--and is increasingly so--contentious and it's hard to chill out when someone is always screaming at you, when the atmosphere of the fandom is always so intense. Further, there's also an element of how fandom has always been--and also is increasingly so--about personal resonance, personal emotional investment, interpretation, and meaning. That sometimes we identify with something so deeply that we feel attacked when someone else likes or dislikes something we feel so strongly about, something that we feel is a reflection of ourselves, and I see a lot of that as well. And this, too, often crosses over into lines of how the context of how we treat characters can be reflections of how we treat real world people, but that there's no monolith here as well. For example: I make fun of Anakin, this angers some people, because how dare I not take this fictional victim 100% seriously, despite that I have repeatedly said that Anakin is the character I most identify with, that things I make fun of him for are ones that I resonate with personally. I'm not disrespecting mentally ill people, especially considering that Anakin is not bound to a single interpretation on this front--he is not canonically mentally ill, no matter how easy it is for us in fandom to map much of that onto his character or, in my case, feel that so much of what I see in him are things I struggle with myself. By and large, the majority of the people I see (at least on tumblr) who make fun of Anakin are doing so within the same vein, that they're being silly about him on things that they personally relate to. (My experiences on this are not universal, I cannot speak for the whole of even any one part of fandom, only my own sphere of experience, but this is what I've seen.) As always, it's fine if someone doesn't vibe with my style or they find that it's not their thing because they do take him more seriously, but that preference does not make my jokes

suddenly not have the context that I relate a lot to what I see in Anakin. In contrast, the way some of the fandom treats Mace or Finn isn't just personal all the time. Not liking their characters isn't inherently racist, but the way they're consistently, consistently treated sure as hell speaks to a larger pattern of racism in fandom and doesn't come without that context. It's the same with Rey--is there a huge vein of misogyny when it comes to her character? Abso-fucking-lutely there is. Things Luke and Anakin get a pass on, Rey is raked over the coals for. Is everyone who dislikes Rey a misogynist? Not even close. Some don't like her because Finn was used as a prop for her story. Some people don't like her because she got sucked into Kylo Ren's story too much. Some just don't care for the way she was written for other reasons. Some just don't vibe with her. It's fine. Nothing is a monolith. And to circle this back around to what you're talking about--it's hard to judge, both because no part of fandom is a monolith in their reactions, but also because we're only hearing from a selection of the fans. How do you know how many people who aren't fans of the prequels, who just don't care for them because it's not their genre, but just go about their day? You don't hear from a lot of them because they moved on to things they do like, so it seems like they must not exist--except, they do, and they're just out there doing things they like more. We only hear from the people who feel the need to tell others they dislike the prequels for this reason or that reason, some valid, some less valid, etc. Ultimately, I do think there's probably a fair amount of genre dissonance for why people dislike the prequels and channel that into "they're objectively bad" and get defensive when people like them and say they were great, but only because that's true of anything anywhere. But that it's only one small slice of the bigger picture (and there's a lot of stuff that I had to eschew in the writing of this response as well because it can be a pretty sprawling topic), where there are tons of reasons and reactions that people have, as well as they're perfectly free to dislike the prequels for whatever reason they do or don't have, it doesn't really affect my opinions, unless they're trying to shove it in my face or are being a dick to those who disagree with them.

#lumi.txt #idk how to tag this

[thedevilandhisbride]

Welcome to our corner of Tumblr, We are the The Devil and his Bride. ⤚🦌⇾

Name(s) -> Rae / Raeven ^ also fine: Friend, Hostile, Catacomb, Athazagora Pronouns -> That thing/That things, Hell/Hound, Keysmash ^ He/Him is fine, no They/Them, only mutuals can use She/Her Hosts -> Will [He/She/They], Hannibal [He/They] ^ others may or may not let themselves be known Carrd -> https://thedevilandhisbride.carrd.co/#

[Previously known as: The Poet Polyplex/The Catacomb Creature Containment Unit, House of Poets, Ill-Code Collective, Friend System] [Under the cut has our DNI, BYF, boundaries, tags, sideblogs, etc.]

Our post about system and nonspeaking apps -> Click on me! We are: - Queer and trans - Disabled - Neurodivergent in many ways - Religious and spiritual - Mixed/Bipoc (Want specifics? Come back with a warrant) DNI: - Usual DNI (Racist, LGBTQ+phobic, etc) - Sysmeds/Anti-Endo - Terf/Transmed/TMERF/Anti-Transmasc (Including if you dont believe transandrophobia exists) - Pedophile/MAP/AAM - Anti-para, or pro-contact/complex-contact - Believe thought crimes exist - Radqueer/Kandiqueer or Xenosatanist - Anti-Mspec identities or contradicting labels - Honestly if you are against good faith identities and people just go away please BYF: - I use slurs and will not tag them, and I would prefer that you asked before tagging one of my og posts or tag reblogs that have slurs as 'q slur' or 'f slur' etc. - I call myself insane and things like that, especially about media, and I can say these things because I am psychotic. If that makes you uncomfortable, dont follow me. - If you have ANY questions about my stances, or are wondering things about me, please send in an ask <3 I know I said to come back with a warrant but that warrant honestly just needs to be showing that you are willing to have a genuine conversation. - I am not the best at articulating things, especially when it comes to discourse, and I tend to be shy when researching because I have been misled and I am still damaged from it. I prefer to go to people whose activism and well-worded posts I agree with for links and starting off points for researching down the right rabbit holes. If you are going to debate me and my stances, or get my opinions on something, PLEASE give me both sides of the discourse and at least a jumping off point to looking into both sides cons against each other. - Also, when I say to not talk to me about current world issues (noted in boundaries), I typically mean about war. I can handle queer discourse, and syscourse, and similar things to that, and witch and pagan discourse, but I cannot be of any help to anybody if I cannot safely research and actually process what I am reading. If you believe that I should research and talk about it regardless of my mental health, get out. - I tend to mindlessly reblog and like posts with weird and sometimes personal tags. - I will bite you. Your flesh cannot escape my teeth. Boundaries: - Use headmates, not alters/parts/etc. - Use Introject/Anaspect, not fictive/factive/etc. - Collective/System is fine, but we prefer Somber/Somber Assembly - You&, You all, Y'all is all good - We've had many system collapses, and so all of our old headmates that ran this blog pre-TDahB are gone. Many of those old opinions, or posts, do not reflect how we operate and act today. ^ Piggy backing off of this, the old headmate blogs are still up. They will never be active, but exist still. We just removed them from this post. - Do not ask us to talk about current world issues. - We've redone this intro post again for reasons in this post.

Need us to tag anything? Send us an ask. ^ We are open to question asks as well. Tags: (We will try to remember these) #tdahbposting #tdahbanswers (may be misspelt as #tdahbanswering) #save for later #important

Side Blogs: @animisticpagan - Religious sideblog about paganism and witchcraft @citadelofmarks - Citadel of Mark's subsystem sideblog

Sorry I update this so much. Peace and love </3

#pin post #intro post