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shadowtongued · 3 years

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long headcanon about the duality of love and the mahjarrat condition pertaining to it from his point of view. if you read all this babble i swear to god, i love you, i hope you have a good day. cw: sex addiction, child neglect, unhealthy coping, unrequited pains. reason for writing: hi i want to die bc of angst.

i think we all know even without playing medieval xp grind lore game, runescape, that sliske is old. very old. he tells us in endgame there's not much he hasn’t done with his life over thousands of years, even traveling to other planets and realms to just see what was out there and how far he could get. i’ve always projected his age as somewhere between more than 8,000 or even more than 10,000. we’re never given a timeline to how long the children of mah have lived. sliske has done a lot with his time; he’s killed a god, had quite a few elder relics in his grasp, SPOKEN to a elder god and managed not to die, mastered shadow magicks, has an excellent grasp on the shadow realm. he’s good with biology, chemistry, has a fair understanding of soul magic which is kind of a rare brand of knowledge, he’s tricked probably thousands into bad contracts to become wights in his army, understands the psychology and bad morals of people. he was a playwright, a high ranking officer, a spymaster. dude is just a determined polymath. you know what he hasn’t done? love. he’s never got to play with love.

mahjarrat are explained as having emotions, but dulled ones. they feel rage and pride apparently better than others. kharshai said after years of really believing he was a human, that when he came back to his true form he states “i feel raw power coursing through my veins. i don't feel pain like i used to, and i'm sure my intellect has increased. but somehow there is something missing. a capacity for emotion that i can't quite put my finger on.” they aren’t equipped for the same range of positive emotions as others are. they feel it, but they don’t understand it fully, it has been said by developers. this whole bit is sadly funny considering in canon, sliske catches feelings. he doesn’t realize he’s attracted to the player character. it’s stated many times, in his journals, in dialogue, etc. he believes their fates are tangled no matter what. and the saddest bit is he probably doesn’t understand these feelings and it confuses him to the point of anger. “ love! a mahjarrat in love? ... i almost wish that were true. it would certainly make the universe a more interesting place. ” “ so perhaps i have loved you. but that doesn’t mean i have to like you.” sliske’s main goal started off as to take the players immortal, unable to be crushed by the divine, soul and give it to himself so he could live forever, as mahjarrats do not have afterlives, once they die they are done, evaporated into energy. but in endgame we learn something from him hidden in masks that refutes that;

“I love you for more than your soul.”

you STUPID fucker, you’re in love.

the remainder of this is a lot of NON-CANON, personal headcanon interpretation that pretty much only works on this blog. as a rough summary: sliske’s ol’ mum was not fond of her kids, half-brother wahisietel or sliske since she did not see them as powerful as herself and was disappointed that's what her legacy came out to. a short, beefy, average at magic son, she had another go and was still disappointed with this spidery, scrawny, gifted but absolutely annoying stick underweight child. his father, saw him once or twice in his life and that was it. dyeosuthua wanted nothing more than to make them disappear and try again until she got offspring she didn’t want to throw into a lava pit in secrecy, infanticide was against tribal law due to population issues. sliske’s mother’s neglect was so severe, ( by the absolute boundless joys of rp development and mutual heacanons ♥ ) that wahi and nabor had an attempt at raising him and keeping him from freezing to death. why is all this jargon important? because while all mahjarrats are raised by tough love, sliske’s attention deprivation from his mother was so severe, he grew up and still has a slew of reactive attachment, psychological, and social issues he still carries as an adult. several times she threatened to kill him and almost made good on it more than twice. when wahisietel had proven he was a survivor of the first ritual of rejuvenation, sliske became dyeosuthua’s main target for abuse despite his gift for magic at a young age. nothing he did could impress her enough. and it left him constantly seeking approval and validation to an insecure mind.

the more he grew, the more confident he became mainly out of spite and to get attention. he’s loud, charming, makes you the only person in the room when he talks to you. he has an innate silver-tongued ability that persuades people to do just about anything. it was a front for his insecurities that he kept very very closed up. in the second age/senntisten capital, sliske had a pretty severe sex addiction as it was one of the few ways he felt validated and was able to get affection in a way he could digest. people with reactive attachment disorders often have sex addictions to fill the space of acceptance without having to commit.. easy, feel good intimacy without having to open up and let someone learn about your vulnerabilities and commit. it was pretty severe, considering mahjarrats find any kind of breeding or intimacies outside their ‘superior species’ as downright foul. sliske had always been the black sheep of the tribe and with his status as praefectus praetorio; head of secret police, really nothing put a damper on him trying to fill the void for affection he had. there wasn’t a species or individual he wouldn’t bed. he would easily take up propositions even for people who just wanted to fuck a mahjarrat because it was ‘exotic’ or because of his status as an officer, he now looks back on this and it bruises his insecurities even more that he allowed himself to do that. not out of pride for his species. but himself, being just a thing to be had because of rarity. azzanadra and his brother, wahisietel found out about it and while disgusted, partially understood what he was doing to negatively self soothe. at one point sliske and azzanadra, the champion of their god and head of the church, as well of one of the strongest living of their kin, had a lasting tryst for a few years and for awhile it made sliske feel very much self important in a way and alleviated his need to be needed so badly, this did not end well when sliske grew tired of their empire and wanted freedom. once childhood best friends and lovers had become absolute enemies once sliske became too unstable and azzanadra became too zealous.

sliske gave up his sexcapades for a long time, thousands of years, his libido dropped when he became interested in other projects and self healing when he was hit with the idea that he hasd essentially allowed himself to be an exotic fling and still burned over becoming his god, zaros, scapegoat after all he had done for him. love was a weird concept to him and still is. despite being adamant love doesn’t exist for his kind, and his belief that he is flawed, unstable, and embraced the idea of ‘you want a monster? fine! i’ll be the monster!’. he expects no pity, not be forgiven to things he has done and even in game when you sycophantically try to cozy to him, he straight up calls out your text choice was awful considering some of the shitty things he might have done to you. to sliske, all attention to him is attention, whether you’re praising or insulting him. he’s on your mind, he exists, that’s all he wants.

backstory aside the real part of this headcanon is that sliske actually wants love. it’s the only thing aside from an immortal soul he hasn’t had. sliske actually has an attraction to humans because they are empathetic, curious, passionate, and determined. he has an easier time assimilating and being around them since he has ALWAYS had a better sense of humor, socializing, and happiness than his kin. he feels emotions a lot stronger than his fellow mahjarrats. it allows him to talk to and connect to humans and humanlike species better. others of his kind have told him there’s “something wrong” with him for that. he’s actually a romantic, even if he’s just mimicking romance stories, movies, and actions from others. he thinks the idea of settling with one person and loving them is both mortifying and interesting. opening yourself up to someone and giving them the hammer to smash your cherry-red painted porcelain heart and seeing if they do, to him might be the ultimate form of trust and biggest gamble of russian roulette. the stakes are so heavy he’s high on the idea. but it’s also horrifying. mahjarrat are prolific for not opening up, not allowing others in, vulnerability out in the open is a death sentence. they live in a kratocracy/meritocracy where they kill off the weakest link. it’s not pretty. being soft is a useless, unnecessary, weak gene to them. it dampers survival.

but yet sliske keeps reading romance novels, writing his own confused poetry, and getting into unrequited one sided loves but practicing a backstabbing betrayal when one gets too close. i have to hurt them before they hurt me, betray and cut them down before they can do it to me. i think he wants to be loved. i think he kinda wants to be taught to love, for the emotions and the sake of knowledge. ( brb james newton howard’s ‘true love’s kiss’ from maleficent just came on spotify and i think i’m going to die bc i did not ask for background music thanks!!! ) he wouldn’t be the best at it, maybe a little too possessive with you, codependent, but very nurturing and fun loving. will sepnd a whole week spooning you.. people who hurt you past, present, and future may end up dead in mysterious ways or turned into a wight for you to beat the shit out of. but he’d try. he’s still got a broken child sitting behind his third rib. i think he would snarl the first few times someone genuinely got close to him, it would terrify him, being known on such a skinned, raw level. having gentle touches that are real and not a come hither to the bedroom. being known for something other than the confident, ego he has is death. he could be taught to be gentle for a crumb of consistent attention. might even cut down the murders and god killing down by 15%. love is not going to fix him, it’s not going to forgive the actual shitty things he’s done. it should never do that. but it will turn the lights on in a dark house.

love could really break him. i think so. i’d type more but this has gone on too long and i feel sad-happies.

#me @ me: die bitch #yell at me in an ask if i roasted both you and i at 450 deg f and basted you with butter and rosemary with a good wine too #// long post #✦ │ 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 & 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 ––– i do hate parting with information.

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artsoupsoupart · 4 years

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Chrave Fic: A Night In

Title: A Night In

Pairing: Raven and Chelsea

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or ideas to That’s so Raven or Raven’s Home.

A/N: I have no shame for writing this lol. This not my first fic ever, but my first time writing something in a LONG time. I wanted to have this up on Valentine's Day, but I never make the deadlines I set for myself lol. I've recently started to kinda ship these two bc of some posts i saw on tumblr and this story came from it. Also, I’m lanassupport group on here, but on Ao3 I’m artsoupsoupart.... it’ll probably always be like that.

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22822261

It’s not too often that they get nights like this, where the house is quiet, candle light bouncing off the walls, smooth jazz playing on the stereo, utter peace and serenity. The kids, all four, are gone for the weekend on a school trip to Washington D.C., and while there is a certain sadness about their apartment not being filled with the sounds of video games being played or practiced steps for a music video, the two moms can’t help but feel absolutely relaxed and content.

Raven and Chelsea make their way to the kitchen hand in hand, both clad in satin pajamas after an eventful bubble bath. Chelsea’s emerald green teddy pairs well against her fair skin and ember hair while Raven dons a two piece pants set, in a fabulous blush pink and gold pattern.

They sit down at the moveable island in the middle of their kitchen where their dessert is spread out. They had moved the stools from the partition that separates the living room from the kitchen in order to feel a bit closer to each other. Chelsea’s the first the break into a marvelous smile and she nudges Raven with her shoulder. She receives a small chuckle from the other woman and a squeeze of her hand.

“Wow, Rae, I think I could get used to this.”

“Only for you. Though, the kids are definitely going to be back sooner than we expect.”

The redhead grimaces a little, a frown forming on her face. “Yeah!”

“You miss them, don’t you?”

“No, no, no!” Her eyes widen as she fibs. “Psh... we’ve been so relaxed and been able to focus on each other. It’s.... great.”

Raven smirks at her best friend, lips pursing. “But you miss them.”

“Oh God, yes, Rae!” The two break out into a laugh. Chelsea continues. “So.... what have you prepared for me now?”

This was all Raven’s doing, the ambiance, the dinner, the hot bubble bath. It’s been her motivation to show Chelsea how much she truly cares for her. She felt as though, for so long, she didn’t really value Chelsea’s company or even the work that she does around the house. Raven vowed to herself and to any God that may have been listening at the time, that she would never take Chelsea for granted, never wonder when she’d finally not burn a meal, when she’d contribute to the rent, because the redhead delivered so much more.

She delivered love and compassion, a dizziness that only Chelsea Daniels-turned-Grayson could ever produce. It was beautiful. There were moments, whether with the children or not, that Chelsea brought an entirely different view to whatever Raven or the kids were going through.

“Well, we first have a mini-sweet treat.”

The dark-haired beauty brought forth a plate of toasted bread and sweet apple jam. She took a small slice with a scoop on it and held it up to rosy lips. Chelsea took a bite with a soft hum and Raven couldn’t help but follow her lead. The moan was beautiful, almost intoxicating to the point where she needed more.

“That’s delicious! What is it?” she asked. Raven told her, let her know exactly where she brought the bread and jam and the brand name. Her eyes never left Chelsea’s face though. They focused on the way dark eyelashes fluttered, the way her pink tongue poked out to capture the remaining jam on her list. All Raven felt was lust.

“Did you make this bread yourself?”

It’s a beat before she responds, still lost in her own images in her mind. “Mom taught me. It’s a special recipe that doesn’t need a lot of time for the bread to rise”

“Perfect for a late-night snack” Chelsea grins as she sees a smirk pull at the corners of her brunette lover’s mouth. Raven turns to her then she gives her a light but teasing kiss to the lips.

“You didn’t have to go through so much trouble to impress me, you know?” the redhead smiles, millimeters away from another kiss waiting for her on plump lips.

“It was no trouble. Plus, you deserve the best of the best. The finest jam and the most delicious bread.” Raven moves to move the dessert that had been baking from the oven to cool.

Chelsea responded after taking a deep whiff of the scent that surrounded her. “That smells good.”

The brunette looks up from inspecting the pie, dipping her finger in it briefly after it had cooled a bit. “Just about ready. Do you want a taste?”

Chelsea leans over and captures the covered finger between her lips. She hums as she pulls away, making sure to give it a small suck when she reaches the tip.

“Mmm… that’s amazing. What’s your secret?”

“Love?”

“Aw, Rae! Good answer.”

Raven smiles at her as she removes the pie from its pan to cool better on the rack. She takes this moment to pour them both a glass of wine.

“We are surrounded by kids and work 24/7. It’s amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, but it does tend to mean that our moments are shared with others.” Chelsea hums in agreement, her eyes sparkling with affection that is only reserved for the raven-haired beauty in front of her. “I also like doing this for you myself… especially since you do so much.”

“It’s so sweet of you, Rae.”

Chelsea leans over and kisses her. It’s so soft yet holds so much passion behind it. If it weren’t for the dessert before them, Raven would carry her off to their bedroom immediately. Instead she returns the kiss, and another, and another, then licks her lips as she pulls away. Raven moves to plate a piece of pie and a dollop of vanilla. She puts it before her love and hands her a spoon. Chelsea grins wide and does a small happy dance as she scoops up the dessert. She raises it to her lips and takes the bite, gentle brown eyes fluttering close as the taste mixes and mingles on her tongue. She hums softly and Raven simply looks on at her.

“I hope I’m not enjoying this alone,” she smirks.

“Never, just enjoying the view.” Raven returns the smirk, mimicking Chelsea’s earlier words and picks up her spoon.

The duo sits and talks as they polish off their dessert and wine, even sneaking another scoop of ice cream to share. They exchange kisses and spoonfuls of the cold treat. The conversation continues on and on, flirty little jokes being passed between the two. Their dessert is long gone, two glasses, a bowl and two spoons forgotten in the small space between them as they get lost in each other’s lips. The kiss is soft, firm, but just as passionate as any other one they’ve had. It isn’t until Raven pulls away that they realize they’re still in the kitchen.

“We should move this somewhere more comfortable.” Chelsea smiles brightly, lip caught between her lips as she winks.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Raven takes a moment to deposit their empty dishes in the sink, that was tomorrow’s problem, and put away the leftover ice cream so that is doesn’t melt. She rounds back around to her best friend and takes her hand, leading her to their bedroom.

They barely make it, lips locking just as the door opens and they stumble in. Raven kicks it closed with her foot and walks the redhead back to the bed where they fall into a fit of giggles. Hazel eyes meet brown and Raven’s hands find Chelsea’s waist while the other woman’s push a lock of ebony hair behind her ear. They look at each other for a moment, the briefest of seconds before capturing the others lips all over again, this time with a renewed fever.

Raven’s hands make their way under the Chelsea’s night gown, fingertips dipping against unusually warm skin (the woman was usually freezing cold). She gives her waist a light squeeze before grabbing the fabric in her hands and pulling it upward. Chelsea shifts, assisting in getting the pesky clothing off. Her lips reconnect back to her love’s, moving to her chin then down her neck. She focuses on a spot, just above Raven’s collarbone, eliciting a low moan from the brunette. Pink lips smile against skin as she makes her way lower and lower, removing pants to find nothing underneath (a sight that has her gasping), but skipping over where Raven wanted her most.

The brunette whimpers in protest. “Tease,” she breathes out.

Chelsea frowns playfully at that, clicks her tongue and takes a swipe of her girlfriend’s warm center. It elicits the exact response she wants, a slightly loud whisper and a small twitch. She does it again, slower this time, and again, and again until Raven is pent up, hips desperately rolling for more friction. Chelsea tosses her hair over her should and she props herself up on one forearm, sending a dazzling smile up to Raven. She holds up two fingers to brown lips and Raven follows her silent directions, wetting the digits with her mouth.

“Good girl, Rae,” the redhead whispers as she slides slim fingers into her girlfriend, her pace torturously slow.

Raven makes the comment again and her girlfriend throws her a look saying Patience, Rae. She doesn’t make her wait too long as she increases the speed of her fingers, curls them upwards, pressing them at just the right angle. Raven moves with her, her own breathing becoming rapid. She’s on the brink of her orgasm, Chelsea can feel it, has learned her body so well in the past two years. Pink lips attach themselves to a throbbing clit and sucks to the beat of her heart and Raven’s hips roll against her mouth. Moans and gasps and whimpers fill the air. The brunette grabs at the sheets, grunts, pleads, and Chelsea has no problem giving her exactly what she wants. Her body tenses and she gasps, losing control of herself as she releases.

Chelsea lets her ride out her orgasm, smiling and humming as she massages her girlfriend down. She places a lasting kiss to her core before feeling hands pull her upwards. Raven instantly finds her; hands raising to cup her face and smash their lips together. The taste of herself on Chelsea’s lips make her hum hungrily. She turns them so that they’re on their sides, a single hand reaching to stroke down a fair leg to toss over her hip. They’re a tangle of legs and kiss, of arms and caresses. She wedges her hand in the small space between them and feels just how ready Chelsea is, how she always is when she starts them off.

Had they not been in the position they were, Raven would have placed persistent kisses to the redhead’s core. Tangled together, she simply stokes at her girlfriend’s pussy, the wet heat causing her to let out a moan of her own. It’s intoxicating, she’s intoxicating. She moves her hand back and forth back and forth, rubbing, caressing, stroking. She captures Chelsea’s swollen bud between her fingers and circles it gently, adding pressure when she hears the grunt that comes from the woman against her. Her lips take Chelsea’s and she kisses her while moving her own hips in time with her fingers. It is when she dips two then three fingers into her warm center that she gets the loud groan she’s been dying to hear all night. It’s her favorite sound, one that spurs her on, gives her the fever she so desperately desires. Chelsea herself gets her bearings and snakes her hand between the two of them.

“With me,” is all the redhead can grunt out.

Raven had been rocking against her and hadn’t been expecting the joining of her love. She accepted slim fingers willingly, nods her head as she tips the redhead’s chin up to connect her lips to a pulsing pressure point in her neck. The moans coming from the other woman have her wetter than ever. Stroke after stroke after stroke has both women clinging to each other, gasping, whining, moaning, cursing into the air between them as they both tip over the edges of their orgasms.

They bring each other down, their breaths slowing and the lethargy starting to set in. Brown eyes meet hazel in the pale light of the moon. Smiles are exchanged, kisses too, with a side of soft caresses and murmured I love you’s. Hands find themselves around the other woman in stead of between them as they slight chill of the room starts to replace the heat of their lovemaking. They move under the covers and reconnect; final kisses being placed to plumped lips as they drift off to sleep.

When morning comes, the sun beams down on the duo. Chelsea tries to hide from it by burrowing into Raven’s back, having shifted their position during the night. The brunette murmurs they should get up, the kids will be at the school soon, they have to pick them up. All Chelsea does is groans, never a morning person, choosing to stay in bed for five more minutes.

The couple finally gets out of bed and ready for the day. Raven showers first, stating that if they did together, they’d be late. While she’s occupied Chelsea makes the bed, straightens up, cleans up the kitchen from the night before, putting things back in order. She then takes over the restroom, in her own process of getting ready.

They figure they’ll get breakfast with the kids so the forego making it themselves and head out the door to the school. Still high on their weekend alone, they trade kisses until Chelsea notices the large charter bus pull into the parking lot. Raven pops the trunk and the two of them get out to greet their children.

It’s a rush, a rapid change from the calm from the past two days but they smile anyway as Booker already starts recounting the weekend, help the kids put their bags in the trunk. The four of them squish into the back seat and Raven and Chelsea return to their front. They share a look before pulling out of the parking lot and making their way back to the apartment, back to normal.

#raven x chelsea #chelsea daniels #raven baxter #chrave #raven's home #that's so raven #ravens home #thats so raven #fic

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sicnna · 4 years

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look !! it’s sienna de vries !! she’s my favorite a-list actress with 78.6M followers, even though she’s only twenty-one. i heard she can be mercurial and jaded, but i think she’s captivating and conscientous. when i first saw her, i could’ve sworn she was ester expósito, but i’m sure she’s heard that before.

BASIC INFO.

FULL NAME: sienna de vries .

BIRTHDAY: september 27 , 1998 .

ZODIAC: libra .

NICKNAMES: si , blondie , short stack .

HEIGHT/WEIGHT: 5′4 , 104 lbs.

TATTOOS: a simple crescent moon on her shoulder .

BASIC STYLE: usually consists of v soft , feminine & parisian pieces , intermixed with more glamoured looks for events & work .

USUAL EXPRESSION: typically smiling , or wearing a detached , far off look .

TRAITS: +captivating , +conscientous , -mercurial , -jaded .

FEARS: disappointing others , failure , but also not the hugest fan of heights .

AESTHETIC: breezy sundresses , delicate jewelry , stacks of unread scripts , whirlwind getaways , enjoying a glass of wine while trying out a new recipes , french cafes , slow kisses along collarbones , bright camera flashes , seeing your bed after a long day .

TRIGGERS: super brief mentions of cancer & loss of a loved one .

BACKGROUND & PERSONALITY.

LUNA BETANCORT & SILAS DE VRIES WELCOME A BABY GIRL ! .... it was all the headlines had read the week after september 27 , 1998 when sienna was born to the a-list power couple ( an actress and a major league baseball player , respectively ) .

sienna was born in the limelight , but has been acting since the tender age of three . her first role was a small cameo in one of her mother’s feature films and even though she didn’t understand it all at that age , she was in awe of it .

so she grew up on film sets . at age four she began a stint in a long running sitcom and even had a beloved character catch phrase ( which i’m still working out but rn we’re stealing ‘ you got it dude ’ from full house ) .

during the middle of her stint on the sitcom , sienna’s sight had shifted to movies ... it was around this time her mom had first started getting sick and sienna was channeling that energy into her parts . people started thinking of her as this young , little acting prodigy ( reminiscent of a young dakota fanning ) and couldn’t fathom how someone so sweet & timid could just switch into these darker roles after barely reading a script , let alone cry on cue . she earned her first sag award at the age of 8 .

when the sitcom’s run had ended , sienna was now free to start acting in more movies , her talent allowing her to star in movie’s along some serious hollywood actors and heavyweights . the young girl was smart and far beyond her years , soaking every bit of it in . it paid off a few years later when she won her first oscar for best supporting actress at the age of 11 , becoming the third youngest in any category to do so . she was nominated for best actress 8 years later and while she won several words that season , people were v surprised about her losing out at the oscars . that time , though , was incredibly bittersweet . she’d lost her mom to breast cancer in the years prior and she definitely brought the room to tears when she got choked up during an acceptance speech talking about how it’d been such a shared love between the two and how she just wanted to make her proud.

ummm just finished playing katniss everdeen in the hunger games ( jlaw whomst ?? ) and she has a movie coming out in september that people are speculating will finally cinch her that first oscar win .

super dedicated to anything she throws herself into . people like to think she’s some sort of diva bc of her impressive catalog of roles and how long she’s been in the public eye but she’s probably the farthest from it ?? she’s enjoyable to work with and has this sort of magnetic thing about her that effectively draws people in and just ... good energy .

if you haven’t sensed it yet she tends to overwork herself and is often super tired bc of how thin she spreads herself with projects and wanting to please her fans .

still , its rare not to see a smile on her face . she’s a media darling and definitely has that golden girl sort of vibe going on .

it’s not surprise that she can’t go anywhere without paparazzi being quick to find out and its definitely something that frustrates her ?? she’s never had a normal life and as much as she thinks about all the things she’s missed out on , she also doesn’t know anything else ?? she feels selfish for thinking this way and for wanting something different and quieter for herself , esp when so many other people aren’t lucky enough to have a voice and platform , but she does and she esp hates that success in her world is measured by the amount of publicity or roles she gets . because then where does happiness factor in ? still , she loves what she does .

as i sort of mentioned above , she is v conscientious about her celebrity and how she presents herself . she’s involved with a bunch of different causes , v philanthropic and all about giving back . v passionate about animals , especially elephants ! she does a lot work with them and sanctuaries after a movie role she had a couple years back and wanting to learn more .

loves to cook and just have quiet time with friends in between busy schedules . she’s incredible loyal and considerate with friendships , but can be very short and maybe even a bit petty when she’s hurt .

ummmm libra sun , sagittarius moon , & cancer rising !

probably a hufflepuff lbr

and i was just talking about this yesterday so i’ll add that si’s love language is physical touch with quality time being a v v close second and i think that speaks volumes about the kind of person she is / her values ?? she’s just v affectionate and intimate moments away from the camera when her agent isn’t blowing up her phone and she can just connect with someone else are some of her favorite .

man idk i’ll maybe add more here later but this is a lot already . i just love her and hope you will to !

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

any & all kinds of friends , former co-stars ( bonus points for anyone she was on the sitcom with ) .

a roommate: as requested here !

fake friend: someone who simply just wants to be her friend and be seen with her for clout !

industry rival: sienna and your muse bump heads every time they’re in close proximity of one another . whether it was because of that time they sold sienna out for a story , a party snub , or that one time one wore it better , no one really knows what it was that started sienna and muse’s dislike for the other . but the media thrives off of the rumors of the feud . ( fellow a-lister or b-lister preferably !! )

friend for the camera: being friends with your muse is one of sienna’s most exhausting acting jobs to date . they’re often seen hanging out at events or talking about each other in interviews like they’re great friends , when really it couldn’t be further from the truth . behind the scenes these are two people who simply cannot stand each other . they’re thorns in each other’s side and often bring the other’s blood to a boil when the cameras aren’t turned their way . is the good publicity really worth this headache of a contracted friendship ?

the up & comer: while your muse may be just starting out in hollywood , sienna’s found herself taking a quick liking to them , and is often there to lend encouragement or advice on how to navigate fame .

the almost: sienna and your muse maybe v recently dated and both had pretty high hopes for the relationship . they were really into each other but one thing after another happened . they fought a lot , their busy careers left them with conflicting schedules , and soon enough what started off as a genuine connection became a much too publicized relationship . after one fight in particular , they mutually decided the relationship was no longer going anywhere and they broke it off .

#shineintro #a mess from start to finish !!#but ily let's plot

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macbookpro-hard-drive · 6 years

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HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan:

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right?

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head).

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids.

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this!

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy.

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read.

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck”

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such.

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

#Anonymous #asks

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sundogsandrainbows · 7 years

Note

Do you have any distinct "headcanons" (your OC, your canon lol) for your Wardens? Like, what makes them distinct? I really love what I know of your Mahariel, and I'm wondering if you have any others that you've developed as much! ^^ -A Gay Bloodmage ♡

Lenya occupies 99% of my creative writing headspace, so there is not really much room for other characters or wardens beside her right now, ahem xD Which has the unfortunate effect that I don’t talk about them as much as I probably should.

I do have a Brosca, who I would call my main Warden aside of Lenya. Or second Warden, for that matter. Saria is pretty much an accidental byproduct of me playing around in the character creator and gosh, how could I not play this cutie then:

HC/random facts: (oh boy, this got long)

Saria is a shield and sword warrior, mainly because she’d looted a shield from a corpse someday and found out how much fun it is to bash people in the head (or, if they are much larger than her, into their dicks/respective squishy bits) with it.

Alistair is fucking terrified every time he sees her fight, because it is such a stark contrast to her otherwise shy and rather insecure persona.

Fighting is cathartic to her, because it means (re)acting rather than having to think, which she does all too much. About everything. She is very self-conscious.

Speaking of which, her insecurity, shyness and questioning of self-worth stems from a life of abuse through her alcoholic mother, who made her feel unwanted whenever possible.

Rica was the one who gave her the name Saria, since their mother only called her mockingly ��duster”and never bothered to name her properly.

Rica is also the one who raised her, showed her love and protected her from their mother’s aggression/frustration whenever possible.

Thus her sister means everything to her. She is also the reason why she joined the carta, despite her struggling with this line of work. Saria hates it, but knows as duster there is little choice other than follow orders and be a carta thug.

Leske makes it easier. At least a bit. They had an one time thing/tumble, but stone it was weird and no, never again. They agreed to stay friends and partner in crime, ofc.

If you threaten Rica you are dead, no matter who or how tall you are. Bye bye. Never threaten her friends either, unless you like being smashed to a pulp.

She had a few casual flings with women and men. Rarely, but it happened.

Duncan is the coolest, kindest human she’d ever met. Also the first, but hey, that doesn’t count right? He immediately treated her like a person, with respect. Unlike the rest of Orzammar

She had a total Eowyn “I’m no man” moment in the proving arena.

Saria can’t understand why Duncan wanted to recruit her, but holy nugshit yes yes yes, she agreed before he could change his mind.Though even then she couldn’t leave without making sure that Rica would be okay.

First time she stepped outside was a disaster. She saw the big gaping hole above, clung to the next stone she saw and refused to let go. Duncan needed an hour to convince her that it was save.

After walking a few steps she became wobbly and queasy, and emptied the content of her stomach into the next brush. Duncan was very patient with her, which she appreciated a lot. Even more that he endured how she clung to his leg for half the journey to Ostagar.

Water from above? Why? How? This shit is terrifying. Even more so thunderstorms. Snow is awesome, though. Mainly because she can form it into round projectiles and throw at somebody.

Flowers and herbs are weird. Why are there so many different ones? And why is Morrigan yelling at her not to eat them? What purpose have they then?

Saria can never remember the many names and looks of animals Alistair and Leliana explained to her, and thus calls almost every animal a“nug.” Or if they are bigger “bronto.” She learns it later on, tho.

She managed to convince Shale to give her piggyback rides. The golem has a strict 1 gem=1 ride rule, however. Too bad that Saria seems to stumble over gems EVERYWHERE xD

She is sort of head over heels for Alistair? Like he is so fucking huge, a giant basically, but he is friendly and patient and smiles as she asks all the things about the Wardens?

After Ostagar, they both bond over their shared grief about Duncan.

Her crush on Alistair solidifies as well during that time, but she never acts upon it. He is so pretty and tall and when he tells her that he is a human prince in Redcliffe, because ofc he is, it is obvious that he will never love her.

Leliana’s forehead is constantly reddened from all the facepalming she does, because these two are hunting from one misunderstanding to the next, and are thick as bricks regarding their attraction to each other. While it is obvious to everyone else of course.

After Redcliffe, Alistair and Saria hit a new low, after he yells at her for letting Isolde sacrifice herself. So 10000% certain she butchered any chance with him and pissed and shocked he’d yelled at her like her mother always did, she takes Zevran up on his offer for a “massage”. Ironic twist: She is so tense that Zevran focuses on the massage alone, because brasca my dear warden you needed that.

Vanishing into Zev’s tent naturally made matters only worse between Alistair and Saria. Both are pouting and avoiding each other for days afterwards.

Save Leliana’s forehead Dragon 9:30

Zev is unsure whether to help or make another move, but is amused about their…complete lack of understanding romantic relationships. Not that he is the one to talk, still, it makes long evenings spent at the camp fire much more interesting.

Morrigan and her never get along well, mainly because she feels defensive/protective of Alistair and dislikes how she is always insulting him. They hit off much later in Orzammar, after Morrigan met Saria’s mother. They basically bond over their abusive parents. Which is not the best, most positive thing to bond over, but hey it works for them.

She is fearful to return to Orzammar, knowing what is waiting for her there. It takes a lot of pep-talk of Leliana and Zevran to go there at all.

Seeing her sister again months later, and her doing so well for herself let her forget about her anxiety quickly. Naturally she is all for supporting Bhelen.

She is an aunt, gosh. She loves the little boy so much.

Then Leske happens and everything falls apart again. Seeing how devastated she is after she’d to kill her best friend, Alistair throws aside his stupid grudge/jealousy and consoles her.

Afterwards, they talk things out, and he confesses his feelings for her and gives her The Rose™.

Naturally Saria does not know what to do with this, but gosh he called her a rare and beautiful thing, when she thought she would never escape dust town, even after becoming a Warden. So she might keep that herb…flower thing instead of eating it. After all, she doesn’t need Morrigan to yell at her again, after they get along now.

They kiss and spend the rest of the day cuddling. Somewhere in Orzammar, Leliana dances a happy dance.

She hates the Deep Roads. But then again, everyone does.

Bhelen is crowned king and her sister is his mistress. Wow, cool. And with Alistair being a prince and heir to the throne she could have that too :)

Due to her alcoholic mother Saria never touches any drinks. Also out of fear to become like her then. Naturally her and Oghren don’t get along well. She tries to help him in hiding his stash, which goes over just as well as you imagine it to go. Their relationship is very distanced, tho she appreciates his aid in battles. Beyond that, she lets the others handle him.

Being caught between fearful and fascinated by magic, she nearly recruits the templar in the circle quest, until the passionate plea of Zevran changes her mind and she save the mages in last minute.

Wynne becomes the group mom and is practically/somewhat the mother Saria never had.

Alistair’s and Saria’s first time is after the circle quest, in the inn. Saria had made moves before, quite enthusiastically even, but Alistair asked her to still wait a bit, since he wasn’t ready.

Loving Alistair is terrifying and beautiful alike. Saria had always conflated love with sex, so learning that she is worthy of love and even is loved in such an open, genuine way by him, is a whole different experience than the quick tumbles before.

They are that gross lovey-dovey doe-eyed couple who can’t get enough of each other and make Morrigan gag while Leliana (and also Zev, bc no hard feelings here) cheers them on xD

Saria never hardens Alistair (well she does, quite often in fact, but just in another way…ahem) since after visiting his sister the last thing she would say is “everyone is out for themselves. You better learn that.” She consoles him and they declare their love for each other…again. Somewhere in the distance, you can hear Morrigan gagging.

She breaks the curse and saves both, the elves and humans turned werewolves. Forests are weird, especially this one. Saria is happy when they are able to leave there again.

After meeting Arl assho…Eamon awake and seeing how he treats Alistair like a pawn despite him protesting against it, very loudly and often, Saria quickly changes her mind on making Alistair king. He should be free to choose his life and not be bound to the family and blood that never even acknowledged him and treated him like nugshit. (If they weren’t all dead already, Saria would smash them into a pulp for that)

She is not a huuuge fan of Anora, mildly put, simply because she reminds her too much on the dwarven nobles at Orzammar. But, as Alistair puts it, better her than him.

She hates human politics and is glad when the landsmeet is finally over and Queen Anora gives them the much needed troops for the last push.

Alistair is so happy to NOT be king that he visits Saria in her room afterwards and declares once again his undying devotion to her and thanks her…with sex. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The Dark Ritual is as always an ugly affair and nearly doesn’t happen. But, like Lenya, she let him choose whether or not to go through with it. And Alistair does, bc, like Lenya, he doesn’t want her to die.

Saria is the one killing the archdemon and ending the Blight. Alistair and her run off to rebuild the Wardens together. After putting up a memorial for Duncan in Highever and having many weeks off from darkspawn slaying, ofc.

Zev and Leliana stay around in Amaranthine, helping to run things. At least until the Crows come knocking again and threaten Saria once more. Then Zev leaves to “clean up their ranks” but always returns to those he calls his “true friends.”

#daughter of war #saria brosca #brosca #dragon age #alistair theirin #alistair/brosca #my other oc's #I also have a #cousland #evie cousland #to be exact #tho #this got too long #to fit her in here #so if you wanna know more about her #lemme know

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edwardamcullen · 7 years

Note

Almost the entirety of Red is about Bellward #confirmed. Pass it on.

this feels like a challenge to prove this right and...that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Except I’ll extend this to Twilight as a whole. pls keep in mind i obviously know taylor didn’t write these songs about these characters i’m just IN LOVE with the similarities and how they relate.

1. State of Grace “And I never saw you coming and I’ll never be the same”/"We learn to live with the pain mosaic broken hearts, but this love is brave and wild”/“You come around and the armor falls, pierce the room like a cannon ball now all we know is don’t let go”/“This is the state of grace. This is the worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right. These are the hands of fate. you’re my achilles heel. This is the golden age of something good and right and real” I think these lyrics fit Bellward in that...1) this love...was....real and new to both of them and not something they ever saw coming but it was scary but too real to let go of and not want to fight for. There’s so many risks in their relationship but “this is the worthwhile fight. love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right.

2. RedI made a gifset. This is New Moon!Bella - “Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head, burning red.” bc the girl LITERALLY saw him everywhere. and also “Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street, faster than the wind passionate as sin ended so suddenly” because when he left he took his whole world with her the entire time she was struggling to hold onto the memories. she was in the middle of such a :D point and everything was so good and in one instant it all fell apart.

3. Treacherous“This slope is treacherous this path is reckless this slope is treacherous I-I-I like it” this song is literally about sex and their relationship not being good but “nothing safe is worth the drive” which SCREAMS Bella and Edward like I don’t have to explain that tbh.

4. I Knew You Were Trouble...idk...bella knew he was trouble but shame on her because SHE LITERALLY WAS LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND when he left her....damn taylor really get specific

5. All Too Well “It was rare I was there I remember it all too well” / “Time won’t fly it’s like I’m paralyzed by it. I’d like to be my old self again but I’m still trying to find it.” Is her the entire dark phase of New Moon.

6. 22*scratches head while I try to think of something* “It’s miserable and magical” - lmao bella when wolves were magical but also she is literally miserable. (BY NOW YOU KNOW I DON’T THINK THIS IS SERIOUS I’M JUST HAVING FUN WITH THIS)

7. I Almost Do“I hope sometimes you wonder about me”/”I just want to tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and every time I don’t, I almost do” Edward to Bella when he left. 8. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Togetherdeadass??? idk. Leah to Sam lmao. i’m kidding. no i’m not she’s never getting back with him he hurt her. except they weren’t on and off. She’s just never ever getting back with him. and she’s done w/ his excuses. etc. OH WAIT WEREN’T JESS AND MIKE ON AND OFF...them too lmao. 9. Stay Stay StayTHIS SONG IS SO PURE AND SO CUTE AND SO HAPPY. “you took the time to memorize me my fears my hopes and dreams I just like hanging out with you all the time.” every relationship ever. Also “It’s been occurring to me I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life.”

10. The Last Time“This is the last time I’m asking you this put my name at the top of your list” lmao fucking JACOB to Bella in Eclipse. Actually wait this could work. “You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave. And all the times I let you in just for you to go again.” wow....damn it really could be Jake to Bella

11. Holy GroundI’m going to half make this about Jacob and Bella because “Tonight I’m gonna dance for all that we’ve been through but I don’t wanna dance if I’m not dancing with you.” could be them at Bella and Edward’s wedding. But this is actually a nice breakup song about it being good and never looking back and them both being respectively happy for each other and that’s just not the case. he calls her stupid and thrashes her like a rag doll and fucking grabs her by the arms. the moment was ruined.

12. Sad Beautiful TragicOH HOW NEW MOONBella: In dreams, I meet you in warm conversationB/E: We both wake in lonely beds, different cities (except edward doesn’t sleep)B: And time is taking its sweet time erasing youE: And you've got your demons and darling they all look like me (actually it could be bella too because she feels like a waste of his time and like he never even cared for her)

13. The Lucky OneLet me make this about Rosalie. “New to town with a made up name in the angel city chasing fortune and fame, and the camera flashes make it look like a dream”/ “And they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused ‘cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used.” This entire song is Taylor’s fear of fame and the glamorous lifestyle turning into something that’s so ... scary and just not as good as it’s made out to be. That screams Rosalie. And just any of the vampires who would trade this “perfect” vampire life for a normal one.14. Everything Has ChangedB: All i knew this morning when I woke is I know something now know something now I didn’t before. (BELLA LITERALLY....REALIZING SHE’S IN LOVE WITH EDWARD honestly vice versa because this whole love thing was new for both of them)E: All my walls stood tall painted blue but I’ll take them down and open up the door for youB/E: All I know is we said hello so dust off your highest hopes. All i know is pouring rain, and everythig has changed. All I know is a newfound grace all my days I’ll know your face all I know since yesterday is everything has changed.

15. StarlightTHIS IS SO HARD ALSKDLAKS “Ooh ooh he's talking crazy/Ooh ooh dancing with me/Ooh ooh we could get married” bella when edward proposed LMAO. but no really the thing about Starlight is it pictures such a happy and forever-and-always blissful and magical love which SM paints with their whole eternity thing. “Don’t you dream impossible things” literally. because he’s a vampire. OMG WAIT “Have ten kids and teach them how to dream” ...rosalie and her perfect life she thought she had before everything happened.16. Begin AgainLet me.....pull a muscle while I REACH a bit. “And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny ‘cause he never did. I’ve been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end, but on a wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again” .......this is a REACH and a this I’m making shit up...but bella never really felt like herself or confident enough to be herself until she met the cullens and....idk...bella saw her divorced parents and she never reallly had a love to relate to so she really didn’t think love...was...a thing...but w/ edward...it was.???/ i told y’all i’m reaching

if you wanna be like that you can make this about jacob when bella grows close to him after edward left her but tbh that implies that bella ...was in love with him....and that she stayed with him...and nah. i’m not doing that lmao sorry

The deluxe tracks??? The moment i knew is too specific it’s about him not going to Taylor’s birthday. that didn’t happen. “You should’ve been here and I would’ve been so happy” if pulled out of context might relate. Maybe Come Back Be Here being about them being apart but being in love COULD be B/E in New Moon but they were both very sad and this is more about missing the other one...pretend “I can’t help but wish you took me with you” is overdramatic bella missing edward when he hunts. I can’t think of anything for Girl At Home.

I’m sorry this was so long all you wanted me to do was pass it on I’M SO SORRY

#this was long #imagine if I could like...respond....to something....and not write an essay #Anonymous

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mysme-hcs · 7 years

Note

What would love be like with each character? Please include my dearest trio and if you can... Rika. I want to know what love with each character feels like on a Sunday morning and after a fight, you know these characters so well I hope it made sense! (do I have to be anon?)

This is my longest headcanon ever (4k words) so it’s going under the cut. I added everyone so hopefully it lives up to your expectations, but heavy spoilers! And no, you don’t have to be anon!

Rika▪before even thinking about starting a relationship/life with you, Rika wants to try to make things right with everyone she’s hurt first▪she knows there’s nothing she can do to help make things right with Saeran or Saeyoung, but she tries to convince V to get the eye surgery and offers to pay for it all herself▪she even apologizes to Jumin for putting him in uncomfortable situations with hinting at a relationship between the two of them▪when you first move in with each other and buy a house, she insists you start off with a clean slate▪the house you’ve bought has a rotting smell coming from inside the walls, torn up flooring, and is just generally trashed but she’s determined to turn it into a home▪she works as an interior designer so not only is she ready for the challenge, she’s tired of redoing houses for people when you both are living in her apartment, aka a literal bomb & alarm infested apartment▪seriously, you pull a drawer too hard and then you’ve gotta explain to Seven why the alarm is ringing at 2 am and why you wanted cereal at 2 am▪so buying and decorating a house is kind of her way of taking care of you!▪you honestly can’t deny her when she gets determined about something involving you tbh▪Rika is a force, obviously don’t cross her when she wants something▪if she wants the walls neon green she’s gonna get it▪Rika is extremely talented with her job, you know the end result is going to be fantastic▪also she’s neat, very neat; everything has to be absolutely perfect for the two of you▪all of the silverware and dishes are brand new, the furniture…everything is almost too perfect but it’s homey!▪she takes you to every thrift store to find things you two can remodel for the house but money isn’t an issue▪she ADORES those cute Pinterest DIYs▪when you get around to working on the DIYs, hers look straight out of a magazine▪yours…aren’t as good.▪instead of getting mad though, Rika just smiles and shows you how to fix your mistakes. She’s a little forward with telling you it doesn’t look great but she doesn’t mean any harm by it▪she’s telling you this so you can pay better attention & learn from your mistake▪love with Rika is very straightforward. She’s blunt in stating her feelings, isn’t afraid to take charge, but she really loves you▪she likes to bake cookies & apple tart with you and it’s a Sunday tradition to sit around the house and watch movies, Zen’s musicals included, while you both cuddle▪you two volunteer a lot and the RFA parties?▪they’re a blast!▪with two party coordinators together it’s so well organized and fun for everyone▪not to mention how much money you all raise???▪your relationship blossoms into something amazing, something she didn’t come close to experiencing with V▪Not everything is perfect though, she has breakdowns often▪sometimes she accidentally tries to hurt you, but she works hard to overcome it▪even if she has to see a therapist daily, she’ll do anything▪you stuck by her side when she didn’t deserve it, she could at least try to change for the better▪after a fight she’s terrified you’re going to leave her alone but you’re there for her no matter what▪you bring her anything that’ll make her smile again▪she really just needs validation and promise that everything will be okay someday▪and with some work and trust, it will

Jaehee▪this woman is incredibly strong and underappreciated▪she’s experienced every negative emotions you can think of, and somehow still manages to stay strong and keep her head up▪she’s mostly been extremely unhappy in her life, though▪her parents died when she was young and she wasn’t wanted by her aunt, who criticized everything she did▪anything perfect was looked down on because it made her cousin look bad, but anything too sloppy and she’d be told she couldn’t do anything right▪that’s why Jaehee is so obsessed with her work being done correctly, and why she likes you so much▪instead of treating her like a work machine, you help build her up when she needs it and just support her in general▪she realizes she loves you on Valentines Day but didn’t say anything▪mostly you both were having a great time with each other watching movies and playing board games, which she didn’t want to ruin▪if her confession went wrong, it’d ruin everything▪if you left her, I strongly believe it’d absolutely destroy her▪her passion in coffee? Just the smell makes her want to vomit▪the hair you encouraged her to grow out? Cut short.▪her happiness? …..gone. She goes back to work under Jumin and works herself almost three times as hard▪unbeknownst to her, you were going through the exact same thing▪So because Jaehee worked under Jumin, she had to be cautious about the company and try to think ahead to prevent bad publicity▪she does the same with you, thinking ahead in your relationship that is!▪Jaehee heavily considers everything: what’d happen if you said no, what’d happen to the café and the RFA…▪she sets up a time and a date to confess▪finally the day comes and she buys you coffee while you both walk around a botanic garden▪it’s peaceful and quiet, plus the scenery sets a gorgeous backdrop for everything▪she kept everything a secret, but she did ask Zen how he calms his nerves and to talk her through a big conversation with MC which is cute as heck my dudes▪she sits you down on a bench and just…spills everything▪when she gets to the actual confession + asking you to be her girlfriend, she trips up on her words and accidentally stutters▪it’s so precious▪the smile on her face is priceless afterwards though▪like▪the sun can literally go home now because we have Jaehee’s smile to light up the world bye▪she’s in such a daze for the next week▪nothing can phase her because she’s so excited▪she tries to initiate so much physical contact in that week, cuddles, cheek kisses, hand holding ALL OF IT▪it’s adorable▪if you guys fight, it’s probably going to be over something small that has been blown out of proportion▪you’ll both calm down and then talk over things, eventually agreeing on what would be best for you▪Since he knew her the best, Jumin’s advice is usually the one you follow out of the entire RFA▪on lazy Sundays you two end up trying something new, whether it be gardening, putting together puzzles, or taking walks▪she loves this because during the two years she worked for Jumin, she barely had time to even eat▪so now she has all of this free time to spend with you!!!▪she loves taking walks though because it gives you time to talk and just relax while being outside▪she just loves you so much

Yoosung:▪canon that he listens to everything you have to say, no matter how small, and tries hard to improve himself as a whole so he’ll be a better man for you▪there is no judgment with Yoosung and he’s 101% willing to help you with all of the housework & anything that needs done▪love with Yoosung is a lot like this▪he’s loving, he never has any impure intentions towards you, and he’d do anything to see you happy and healthy▪he literally risked his life for you so you’d be safe???▪he listens to EVERYTHING the Men of Monogamy group tells him about love▪and tbh he probably calls his mom everything too▪Yoosung keeps detailed notes of all your dates, from what the date consisted of to what you wore▪he tries to prevent conflict but is very quick to fix things if you do fight▪just having you beside him was enough to make him want to become better and more hardworking▪so he studies for another year, quitting LOLOL and renting an apartment for both of you▪sometimes you’re in awe of how much he’s able to juggle at one time but he does it flawlessly▪a lazy Sunday would include laying together on his couch, cuddling and playing video games together and trying to learn how to cook▪frequent movie dates which consist of throwing popcorn up in the air and trying to catch it in your mouth during the previews it’s gotten you both kicked out of the theater more than once and then walking around town together discussing the movie and holding hands▪when he proposes to you it’s shortly after he graduates college bc he just can’t wait to start a shared life▪you both are decorating the waiting room in his new clinic when he asks you to both take a break▪he gives you the cheesiest speech you’ve ever heard in your life, but it’s definitely written by him his mom co-wrote and edited it though, thx Mrs. Kim▪speaking of her, he took so much more advice from his mom just to make sure everything was perfect▪as for the ring! He took Jaehee and V along with him to pick it out▪but Jaehee knew what would be in his price range, and V had experience with engagement rings▪Jaehee picked the more simple ones, V picked the prettiest ones (I mean, he’s a photographer so he knows beauty) so the two of them combined…▪Yoosung had the final say though▪your engagement ring will be your wedding ring too, but it’s absolutely, incredibly gorgeous▪he clearly put so much effort into everything, it’s so adorable▪finally he gets to officially spend the rest of his life with you!▪Lisa is your child for the first two years, but when you finally have a child it’s like his dreams have all come true▪Yoosung is an incredible boyfriend and husband. He’s honest, dependable, and will always be your best friend through anything and everything

Jumin▪canon that everything is really rushed bc he never had a relationship so now he wants everything all at once▪your wedding was so crowded that even the RFA didn’t get a single word to you both in but it was beautiful and easily the best day of your life▪V’s wedding gift to you two was the eye surgery and his promise to be the photographer you know those photos are amazinggg▪but enough about the wedding, Jumin promised you that anything you have will always be the best and he’ll never force you into anything▪he still stands by that▪if he feels there’s a fight coming, he’ll immediately step away and let both parties cool off▪it’s just part of being a businessman tbh, he knows when a fight is coming and how to resolve things▪once you’re both calm and collected, then you can talk it out▪if you come to him when you’re angry, he’ll just refuse to speak to you▪again, he’s a businessman so he’ll get straight to the point and address whatever the root cause is and fix it▪but he’s very against couple’s therapy and won’t partake in it no matter what▪he’s against it because he’s sure you two can figure everything out by yourselves, and that there’s no use involving other people in your relationship. He’s also afraid of the media somehow getting ahold of the information and would twist it against you▪he can’t risk losing you so sometimes he’d be too possessive, which also sparks some fights▪he’ll feel guilty about that later because you mean everything to him and hurting you is never his intention▪lazy Sundays mostly consist of cuddling and he’ll make you his signature strawberry pancakes▪walks around his garden, reading, he loves anything domestic that resembles a normal relationship▪he just loves being in your company though, you could be sitting across the room from each other in silence and he’d still like it▪on Saturday nights he likes to drink wine with you and V▪the three of you are so close, anyone looking in would never be able to guess that you didn’t know them your entire life▪he reads to you every night before bed and likes it when you’re curled up with your head over his heart▪that way he can hold you close and stroke your hair▪even though it could be taken the wrong way, he buys you gifts very very frequently▪it’s just because he likes imagining how happy you’ll be with each thing & the smile on your face▪everything reminds him of you and he would literally hand you the world if he could

Zen▪Zen grew up with no support▪his mother forcefully cut his hair and picked him up immediately after school so he couldn’t play guitar, something he loved▪it was such a toxic home that he ran away when he was in middle school▪and yeah, he’s not proud of his past but promises that regardless of your past it’s only important where you are now (canon)▪he’s proud of how far he’s come with acting and making it on his own▪he jokes about The Beast™ but it’s a real thing, he’s terrified you’ll run away if he shows you what he really wants or the ugly parts of him▪being around you makes him nervous sometimes but at the same time, it’s like a breath of fresh air being around someone who cares so much for him▪Zen’s super laid back about things but is worried about you being in the spotlight because his fans and haters can sometimes get too….intense with even him▪Zen is also very cautious of the roles he picks up from now on▪he wouldn’t take on any roles that could be seen as a bad influence to your future children *wink wink* or any that make you uncomfortable▪some of the musicals he’s been in have been very romantic or very sexy so he wants to make sure you’re okay with him playing those parts first!▪he values your opinion so so much but he can also sometimes get a little hot-headed when it comes to you and your safety *cough cough* remember Jumin’s route?▪and that’s because he’s never been close to marriage but when he’s with you, he wants to marry you right on the spot▪he put your engagement off for the longest time, sure his family would come around some day, but it never happens▪he didn’t want to accept it for the longest time, but after Valentines Day he realizes that his family isn’t there but you are▪keeping your relationship wasn’t honest with the media and his fans, and it was setting you both back!!▪you couldn’t even be seen together in public, let alone go on dates or have it be known that you live together▪buuut taking care of you is his first priority so if his agency didn’t like it, he could find dozens of others▪Zen dispels those rumors with Jocelyn in an interview and promises that your relationship with him is still serious and ongoing▪and within another week, you both are engaged▪honestly the proposal was kind of spontaneous▪Zen loves the idea of having a family and kids if you can’t tell▪he wants to have six of them (but he’ll settle for two, y'know)▪the first year you’re together is magical!!▪he wants so badly to take you around town and show you his favorite spots and favorite things, and he’s eager to learn more about you & your likes▪he’s extremely considerate as well, always considering your feelings and never jumping into anything without talking it over▪a relationship with Zen would also be laid back in all the best ways▪he makes everything seem so…right and comfortable

V▪Jihyun is scarred really badly from Rika▪he has so many nasty secrets just from Mint Eye and other things he’s kept hidden▪so at first he doesn’t want to be in a relationship because of this but you promise to be there for him and respect his ways▪you even offer to help shoulder some of the burden▪and…he respects you so much for it▪he could never let you but he appreciates your passion and love for him▪he’s also hesitant to go to you after a fight he’s caused▪he’s always going to find a way to make you/him believe that everything was his fault because he genuinely believes it▪after a fight you have to go to him, and your heart breaks every time you see him crying▪afterwards you just do whatever is most comfortable for the two of you▪V enjoys jigsaw puzzles and they’re a good way to relax together and build teamwork, even if he hasn’t had the surgery he likes it when you help him put the pieces into place and such▪just the warm touch of your hand is enough to remind him that you’re there for him▪he loves it when you read him poetry▪he’s an artist so of course he appreciates poetry so much!▪something about the deep meanings behind the words and how you emotionally connect to them…he adores it▪he also likes putting music on and dancing with you▪he hides things from you in order to protect you, which sometimes gets annoying but he has good intentions▪he’d do anything for you and would love you no matter what you’ve done or been through (remember that speech he gave Rika?)▪V would do anything for you and anything you do for him makes him extremely happy▪whether it’s flattening a stray hair out of place or helping him around, he falls deeper in love with you▪you can’t ever out-compliment him▪being with V is so natural▪he’s rich but he saves presents and extravagant things for more special occasions so he doesn’t overwhelm you▪he just cares so much for you▪the eye surgery is a really touchy subject because it’s an injury he’s subjected himself to deal with but getting his vision fixed would make him realize how things can change for the better▪he doesn’t have to be abused or manipulated by Rika anymore▪he can have a happy relationship and life, and he can do it with you

Vanderwood ▪Vanderwood says he doesn’t see the point in anything related to family because of his job, so it’ll take a long time of knowing each other to start a relationship▪he’s terrified something would happen to you, so if he starts having feelings for you he’ll push you away just like Seven▪you’ll probably be unsure of his feelings for a while since he isn’t very open, but he’ll show you through small little things▪he claims he doesn’t want children but down the road in your relationship an unplanned pregnancy brings him more joy than he’d thought▪he’s aware that you’re not perfect and neither is he▪if you make any mistake he’s quick to call you out but he’ll help you through it▪he really does give you self defense lessons and buys you a taser so you can take care of yourself and your daughter▪honestly not too big of a family man but he adores you both, just wishes things were a little different with his job and life▪you two deserve someone with a family, not a grumpy secret agent who has trouble with his emotions▪sometimes he’ll pull away though so just give him space▪fights are awful between you two▪after a particularly rough one he’ll be the one to come to you, half-drunk and nearly in hysterics▪neither one of you will probably talk because you know what went wrong and what you can do better next time▪so he pulls you against you and lays there until you both fall asleep▪the next day will be super lazy, you’re both exhausted from the emotional outpour▪so you’ll find a ridiculously stupid TV show to binge and spend the rest of the day together▪love with Vanderwood isn’t sweet kisses and heartfelt hugs, sometimes its listening to him lecturing you and denying his feelings but it’s always coming back to each other no matter what happens▪there won’t be a single day where you fall out of love with him and vice versa

Saeyoung ▪asking you to call him Saeyoung was a massive deal to him!▪he confessed that none of his past identities were real and “Saeyoung” was pushed away because of his past▪he wants nothing more than to quit his agency and start a life with you and Saeran but that’s not possible just yet ▪first you actually have to find Saeran▪and when you do, Saeran still has a hard time with trusting Saeyoung and possibly suffers heavy withdrawals from the potent drugs he recieved at Mint Eye▪either way, Saeran puts a heavy strain on your relationship for a while until he gets better▪but once he does, Saeyoung finally buckles down and proposes▪Saeran claims it’s because Saeyoung is scared that if he waits too long then someone might snatch you up▪on lazy Sundays he just likes to hang around the house or have a movie day with you and Saeran▪a movie day is the only activity he’ll admit he enjoys▪so you three make a giant palette on the floor and make ice cream sundaes▪it’s quiet and peaceful, sometimes Saeran and Saeyoung both fall asleep on you during the movie▪Saeyoung passes his Star Wars & Harry Potter obsessions down to Saeran and his childrenslightly unrelated but imagine Saeran and Saeyoung in Hogwarts robes asdfjklajdkal that is all▪Which, you don’t have children for several years but when you do, your sons and daughter grow up in the best household imaginable▪love with Saeyoung is patient and caring▪he always puts you first and having to wait on your marriage strengthens your relationship in the best ways▪he’s still paranoid over his agency and Mint Eye but will calm down over time once he realizes you’re with him every step of the way

Saeran▪Saeran is extremely broken and unstable▪he was abused and sick from a really young age, and then taken to Mint Eye where he was not only tortured, but brainwashed▪again, he possibly has withdrawals from the potent drugs he recieved at Mint Eye???▪as soon as he gets better, he wants to quit smoking…it makes him feel dirty inside after everything that’s happened▪so he has a lot to go through still, and even though it takes him a really long time to be able to trust you and Saeyoung, he needs the both of you▪when he first realizes his feelings for you, he tries to ignore them at first ▪he’s not mean to you or pushes you away, he just…distances himself from you thinking the feelings would go away eventually but they never do▪it’s a bit obvious sometimes that he likes you, but you like him back so it’s not a big deal▪once you think Saeran would be okay to handle a relationship, Saeyoung helps you confess▪your relationship is tentative at first▪you want him to be comfortable, and he doesn’t want to hurt you somehow▪everything just takes it’s time and after a couple years of being together, he asks you to marry him▪Saeran isn’t the type of person to make a huge deal out of it, he most likely just asks you (which you think is random, but he’s been gathering the courage to ask you for over a week)▪and your wedding is very small▪if you have any children at all, he’s terrified▪it’s a small human being with half of his genetics?▪there is a chance the child may turn out sickly like Saeran was as a child, so if it does then it gets so much care & love▪he’s the worst when it comes to your child wanting sweets bc he does too▪but regardless, he’s grateful to you and Saeyoung for saving him▪he’s grateful to Saeyoung for teaching him that family & the world doesn’t have to be cruel▪but he’s grateful that you taught him how to be gentle and kind, that you stayed and cared for him, and that you love him▪he would never ever break that trust or hurt you

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estherroberts · 7 years

Text

june barlowe

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts , @podcastmecaptain, and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today though, it’s @estherroberts especially. (that’s me!)

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

this is one of many individualized advanced PLACEMENT works, for the stories of each character involved. we each picked three kids to write about, and this is the second one of mine! without further ado, here’s june!

june and her family are from california

specifically, a little suburb outside of los angeles

her childhood as far as she can remember is pretty great

she’s been playing viola since she was little

she has an older brother who plays football, they pretty much stay out of each other’s way

her parents both make a lot of money, but her father gets this wild idea that they absolutely have to move back to the town his grandfather was from, and he and his wife always work from home anyway

of course, it’s point-of-exile, CO

and to june, it does feel like an exile, because she is leaving everything and everyone behind

june barlowe is 14 years old when they move, and she has lived her life blissfully believing that she is a heterosexual. she does not, in fact, really spend much time thinking about it

sure, there were gays in la. but did she have reason to talk to them? or consider that she might be one? not really

june is tiny her freshman year. tiny and scrappy and already angry, tho at what, sometimes she doesnt even know

it’s the first day, and she’s in orchestra, 6th period. she might be new to the school but she’s been playing viola for years and she knows if she cant make friends anywhere else she’ll at least have the strings

and helen, though new to high school, is not new to the kids, or somehow, the band room, or the teacher

and june is just kinda floored by her, because she’s literally so beautiful and confident and so out of june’s idea of normal that june is just like, what. the fuck.

and helen asks her what she plays and she says viola and helens eyes light up because she heard all the violists graduated and they needed new ones and sorry dear what was your name again

and june says june, and helen says, “that’s my favorite month” and june is just, like, dead

helen asks june to come to lunch with her and they talk about everything and everyone and it doesn’t take long before they already know each other’s life stories and have moved on to gossiping about everyone else

june, because she’s june and she’s cis, puts her foot in her mouth multiple times during the course of this conversation and but helen can see that she’s trying and helen is helen, even at 14, and so she explains something and gently tells june when she’s said something offensive

and june, tho performative in most of her emotions, manages to keep her cool and just nods and takes in helen’s corrections

they become friends really really fast

three months into their friendship they have their first downton abbey tea shit-talking session at helen’s house and it’s the most fun june has ever had

they make it a weekly ritual and alternate between their houses, at first with some raised eyebrows from june’s parents, but they learn to hide their judgement lest they risk incurring june’s already protective fury

or helen’s cool superiority

sophomore year things start to get rough at june’s house

her parents fight all the time and she hides in her room and practices viola as loud as she can so that she doesn’t hear them anymore

but it never works

her older brother sometimes comes into check on her but he’s kind of a stoner so he isn’t too much help

and she gets worse grades and her parents are Disappointed and she gets angrier

she starts having trouble keeping all that anger inside of her

she doesn’t have the motivation or the dedication to work on improving her performance in school, the only thing she wants to do is work on her music

she still has weekly tea with helen, and when she’s done ranting about her parents she listens to helen talk about her first girlfriend, the one who later goes to boarding school

and june starts to wonder if the fluttery feeling that never goes away when she’s with helen is, well, if it’s a crush

because it certainly feels like one

she tries pushing it to the back of her mind

tries to pretend it’s not there but

she can’t really hide it from herself anymore

june’s parents, who could never stand to have a daughter make her career in the arts, push her to take up a sport

she joins track, and meets quentin, and god help her he is the cutest button ever and so smart and she helps him train and he helps her with science and he promises to join orchestra the next year

everyone on the track team ships them

early in june’s junior year, they start going out

he always pulls out chairs and holds open doors for her

he’s always ready with a sarcastic quip under his breath, usually intended for just her ears

he doesn’t flinch away from her sharp edges, literally or metaphorically, and neither is he afraid to be soft around her

and somehow, she kind of relaxes into that

they get along sooo well and there’s a Lot of physical chemistry too and she’s just, she can’t believe she’s lucky enough to be with someone like him, someone as good and generous and stable as him and someone who makes her laugh the way he does and-

and june is happy with quentin, really truly happy

and she tries to tell herself that this is enough, that this is all she needs

it almost works.

but god damn she’s still getting butterflies when helen plays with her hair, or holds her hand, or tells her she’s beautiful

and one afternoon they’re watching like a gay movie or something at helen’s and june is upside down on the couch with her head dangling off and she says “hey, helen” "yeah?“ "i think i’m bisexual” “that’s delightful!” “thanks”

(a side note here, if you’re wondering how helen sees her best friend june:

in helen’s eyes, june is so so full of life and passionate and she gets invested in everything and she’s impulsive and impatient and furious and so so powerful

and she loves deep and hates deeper and holds grudges and fights terfs and homophobes on the internet and goes after her goals and never holds back

and sometimes, when june’s with quentin, or laying on the couch, her legs in helens lap and clutching a pillow, sometimes, she melts

and helen melts too )

and that’s pretty much it and things proceed as normal for them

and june, who is both literally and figuratively growing into herself (shes v tol now) looks online at all the bisexual resources available to her and consumes them all

she comes out to quentin too and they have a “i’m bi!” “i’m a demi guy!” moment and it brings them a lot closer together

they jump up and down

it’s fucking adorable