#she's very comfortable with my apartment

[feeshies]

I did as much research as I could before getting a cat, I lived with baby locks on my cabinets for months so I could get used to it, I spent 45 minutes with an employee at the shelter bombarding her with questions, and I still worry every day that I'm fucking up.

Anyway, watching old episodes of My Cat from Hell has been comforting in that aspect

#Nemo still leans or steps away when I move to pet her #even after sitting on the floor with her quietly for a while #but I just take that as a sign to...leave #then she'll go hide for a bit #and then she'll come out into the living room while i'm working #she's very comfortable with my apartment #she's tolerating my presence #but she's still not sure about my proximity #which is fine #i knew she'd be a slow burn but she'll sometimes eat treats out of my hand and we play every day #so that's something

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[kirbsto]

Punk!Steve my beloved

#thought I’d hop on this train bc it is my Life’s Blood #i need him to be happy and discover new facets of himself joyfully #he has such a natural disconnect from who he Is that him finding comfort in this eclectic style is very appealing #also this is apart of my he/she/they steve agenda get fucked I’m projecting #babygirl needs to self discover fr #pls adopt some individuality instead of clinging to old comforts as a coping mechanism i know you can do it #also yes shout out to that GQ Robert Pattinson photo shoot #steve harrington #my art #stranger things #stranger things fanart #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington fanart #art

[ashiyn]

i uh. i dont know weither i should be proud or embarrassed over this

#LISTEN. I CAN EXPLAI- *crash* #<- that is my mom throwing a chair at me if she ever saw this #i call this the 'i moved out and the silence in my apartment is deafening and having streams on is a comfort' #overwatch slipping in there due to my interest in the esports event is very funny to me #.post

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[zoldyckd]

this job market………….

#like I’m trying very hard not to think abt….. #anyway it’s hard 🫶 trying not to spiral every day 🫶 #I can’t even really be mad at my supervisor for anything bc she’s rlly going through it wjfnejfnend I can tell #every time I raise an issue she says stuff like ‘they dump everything on us huh’ WFJENJDJENDNSND PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BE OUR ROCK #But it’s comforting too I think we should all leave HR I think we should all leave this company ❤️ #like I think we’re fine but I also think that this department is kind of falling apart and we dont rlly get the support we need sidnejfndbd

[astrovagrant]

i don't really have a good way to directly demonstrate zari's chronic pain in-game besides a one-off comment now and again but it's something she has Complicated feelings about in general and Extra complicated now that she's "dating" (?) someone who is medically trained and has a primary proficiency in healing magic, so it's something i'm going to try to bring up in the various smaller side-scenes i write out intermittently.

more importantly: if anyone (including her!) ever figures out that she goes limp like a kitten when receiving any kind of gentle physical manipulation (like a massage) it's over for her. she'll simply pass away. goodbye. there's no recovering from that one.

#it's just like. yeah my body's trying to rip itself apart and yes that's just background noise to me and! yes! #i do feel weird and vulnerable! and i don't Want you to take my pain 'away' but the fact that you just Could if you wanted to. if i asked #crazy. crazy crazy crazy. will not be doing that though. to desire an easier more comfortable life is Not Allowed. for reasons? #zari #she's never been treated gently and affectionately and will simultaneously melt into a puddle while also going into paranoia overdrive mode #she has no pathways in her brain for pleasure. she excavated some new ones Very recently for a very specific kind #but other kinds r still alien to her

[pandora15]

idk man i guess it's just that i'm struggling to find fic to read and barely having the time/energy to write at all

#it's also that i seem to be unhappy living my cozy comfortable life in suburbia #especially since my roommate who's also my friend is acting more like a roommate than a friend #but i'm also. not a great roommate #and he's a pretty good one! but he's not being a very good friend #which partly is my fault because i'm also not a great friend #but i guess i want to mix things up and move elsewhere and have an apartment to myself #and a part of me is waiting for my parents to tell me that i can do that #because i've always lived my life like that #and a lot of the mistakes i've made are because i've done that #it's also why. i've lived in the same state for like almost my entire life #so i feel like. this desperation to go somewhere with more people my age with high walkability and just. stuff to do? #like i work remote right #i don't go out much #so i feel like i need to BE somewhere that forces me to do that #my mom seems to understand that but she's telling me to wait until i'm almost done with grad school to move #which. valid i guess? #and my dad doesn't seem to understand it at all #and then they both want me to live at home in the fall because i'm planning to take two classes instead of my usual one along with work #which also makes sense but. i get ansty every time i spend more than two days at their house #tldr i'm tired and stressed and unhappy i guess about my lifestyle #and like logically i can wait until the end of the year because then i'll be a lot closer to finishing grad school #and my lease will be up then anyways #but also. that's so far away and i just want to change things now #pandora's ramblings #anyways sorry about the literal essay i wrote in the tags here

[tvrningout-a]

i take one glance at k.yojuro's one shot and i get all giddy and wanna start screaming about him :' )

#i don't have any coherent thoughts about him rn bc i'm packing up my room but man do i love one flame hashira #looking at the art again makes me wanna icon it so bad too bc it's so pretty :' )) #maybe i will if i can make some space on my computer uvu #anyway hi hello can you believe mitsuri passed final selection after training for six months?? #can y'all imagine the amount of pure talent and physical ability a lot of the hashira have bc misturi didn't even?? come from #a family that would've required much physical labor of her #i mean i'm assuming bc i mainly remember there being an issue with finding a suitor and whatnot and if that #was the main concern she would've come from a comfortable family i imagine #and then kyojuro taught himself flame breathing bc after a point his dad just :( fell apart #anyway before we all get sad i just think all of the hashira are very cool and admirable in their own ways and i love them very much <3 #get ready to ramble | ooc

[diabolicjoy]

.

#warning there’s too many typos but who cares #i’m always complaining to myself in my head about how me & my best friend have grown apart #we’ve spent all out teenage years doing everything together even though we weren’t from the same school #we’d still find ways to see each other if not every day then at least every month #& since she started college & then a relationship & then work we’ve just grown apart & it was embarrassing for me really because i was alwa #ys the depressed never busy always alone type & i always ended up felt clingy when asking to hang out #feeling* #specially because she’s a social butterfly & i’m the one who has social anxiety lol but it was always reassuring to have her by my side #during these social events #then the pandemic happened & after things went back to normal.. i can actually count on my finger how many times we’ve seen each other irl #also stopped texting each other which is an important detail considering we used to talk every single day #especially because she’s like. literally the only person i feel comfortable opening up abt things i wouldn’t tell anyone #so i just feel isolated & a bit lost in life without her presence in it... but i’m just a very insecure human & always feel like the plans #& little dates & things i come up & plan for us to do is just... super boring to her (or anyone else) #so i stopped trying completely. which is sad because i miss her immensely #but last november i went to a festival with some friends but felt super stressed on the first day but tried to hide it from everyone #because i don’t wanna ruin the whole trip by being moody so i just kept to myself #ended up feeling overwhelmed & on day2 of the festival we txt each other bc she’s gonna be there #so i just spent the entire day2 with her & her partner & we all had such an amazing time... it really revitalized me lol #& everything felt so familiar even though i hadn’t seen her since her bday in may.. #& idk i just missed her. i always felt like this lack of talking & seeing each other just meant that they didnt like me as a friend anymore #or that i wasn’t worth keeping around... idk i’m always expecting the worse which is so unfair to the other person #i know she loves me & that life happens #anyway all that to say that i decided to stop being a pussy & stop mopping around #crying abt how i’m alone & friendless. & like. just text them & invite invite them to see a movie or something #idk if it didn’t work our 2 years ago life happens i am trying again #i won’t find someone like them that easily again in life i think

[hwajin]

i think the reason ppl hate the show is bc of the director ? sam levinson is a disgusting person and he’s known for oversexualizing his work 😭 from what i read the show had a female director that was fired because she was leaning too much into the “female perspective” so what could’ve been a great show ended up being just overly sexual/fetish-y and weird bc of the weeknd and the current director

hmm i've heard that too but wasn't it the same director from euphoria? everyone loved that show yk. and idk if you mean female perspective as in the perspective of the main lead because i do feel like that's insanely in the foreground just shown in a very (for her) traumatic way. if you mean like female perspective as in likeee the female gaze ig? then yeah i mean obv there's a lot of unnecessary nudity but again euphoria wasn't without those scenes as well and in general it's hard to find shows that don't have that problem? idk that's like my take 😭😭

#like the oversexualisation is SO intended prove me wrong #to show that when other ppl do it TO her it's fine but when she does it to herself it's looked down upon #like that's what the show is to me that's the very point of it #and the weeknd being as weird he is in it like isn't that on purpose??? to show how fucked up she is to search for comfort in him????? #idk it's like obv not my fav show and i'm always ready to tear it apart in the next ep and hate like other ppl but that point hasn't occured #yet 😭 #kathys asks

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@allvalley100

Prompt: Ghosts

Pairing: YasMoon

***

“What happened to us?”

Yasmine leans against the car door. Arms crossed, more vulnerable than Moon’s ever seen her.

“We wanted different things.” Moon’s words are heavy. “You didn’t love me.”

“I did!”

Moon stiffens, shocked.

“I didn’t know how to say it back then.”

Yasmine shatters. Moon does the only thing she knows and takes Yasmine into her arms, giving her something solid to hold.

“I’m so sorry, Moon.”

Shame emanates from Yasmine—a quiet condemnation of everything they were. Of how wrong it all was.

Moon should feel anger, but there’s no emotion left. Yasmine took it all.

***

And you were tossing me the car keys “Fuck the Patriarchy” keychain on the ground We were always skipping town And I was thinking on the drive down “Any time now, she’s gonna say it’s love” You never called it what it was

‘Til we were dead and gone and buried Check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same After three months in the grave And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you But all I felt was shame And you held my lifeless frame

@robbykeeneslawyer I am back and ready to hurt you more this week >:3

#allvalley100 #yasmoon #yasmine x moon #moon x yasmine #yasmine cobra kai #moon cobra kai #cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 3 #(I imagine this apology scene or something akin happening to it right before the beginning of S3) #Anyways 'check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same after 3 months in the grave' is indeed very ghost-esque #anyways I'm very eager to take a deep dive into this messy-ass dynamic in my angstfic #Yas's internalized lesbophobia in particular is gonna be a fun beast #I always like to imagine Moon was more comfortable with her sexuality and knew she loved Yasmine #while Yas was repressed as hell and didn't realize she felt the same until months after she and Moon stopped secretly messing around #but by the time Yas finally realizes her feelings Moon is just like. Dead inside #like she got so broken by the way they fell apart she just has nothing left to give anymore :( #THESE POOR SAPPHICS #WHY DO I TORMENT THEM SO

[littlebirdy0301]

I am newly single and already have caught feelings for someone, debating if that’s a bit awful or not lmao

#To be fair I’ve known things with the then-boyf weren’t going well for a Very Long Time #We love each other so much but just aren’t compatible as a couple anymore #So I think I started grieving our relationship a long time ago #And dealt with the heartbreak a little at a time over a long period of time #Honestly the biggest things that made me want to keep trying were the family & beautiful future that we talked about having together- #And the fear of losing him as a friend because I have a hard time staying close with friends #But over time I’ve let go of the potential future we would’ve had. And now I can officially confirm that we’ll stay best friends #The last giant chunk of our relationship was already just a very strong platonic friendship #So all that’s changing is the label and any romantic expectations that weren’t matching up #Our needs and wants were too far apart for either of us to be happy or comfortable meeting in the middle #So yeah I knew the relationship was ending long before I accepted it #And in the last few weeks I recognized I was getting feelings for a very charming classmate in our costuming class #I just didn’t know if it was genuine feelings or me missing having romantic aspects in my relationship & projecting those feelings #But now I do think I’m into him #He’s just so darn charming #The thing that really pushed it was when another classmate was sad about the guy she was talking to ghosting her- #And we were all comforting her saying she deserved better & all that #And he had a response that was just so kindhearted and genuine #At the time it just felt on the same level of when I have a crush on a fictional character #Like “oh I just think they’re neat :)” and not meaning anything irl #I’m a cereal monogamist. I would never ever think about anything happening while in a relationship #But now I’m not in a relationship and that admiration for him are still there #And his smile can light a gosh darn room I swear #We smile at each other whenever we pass by & make eye contact n when he smiled and waved at me I thought “fuck I do like him huh” #So yeah that was today #But it feels way too soon after literally just getting out of a 3 year relationship #But I would love to platonically hang out with him and get to know each other #I feel like I’m supposed to be single for awhile #Even though I’ve mentally done all my mourning of that relationship #But it didn’t actually end until very recently

[s-cullayy]

I really gaslit myself into believing this apartment wasn’t haunted and my neighbors just sent that all crashing down on me 😭

#they've all seen the same man without telling each other #i often feel like i'm being watched but i've never seen him AND I DON'T WANT TO #like i sleep on my couch a lot (it's very comfortable) and sometimes it's hard because it's like theres someone standing in the doorway #sometimes i'm in the shower and it feels like there's someone in the bathroom #one of my cats will not let me go anywhere in my apartment alone and part of me is lke 'he just wants to be close' but 🙃 #the biggest thing was like 4/5 years ago i was home alone and the apartment above me was empty at the time #it was like 9 at night and i heard something fall on the floor #roll for like a foot and then stop like it had been picked up #i told my neighbor that lives there now and she just sighs and goes 'yep that's him' #nope don't like that.jpg #i also hear walking around in her apartment when i know for a fact she's not home #i did not tell her that part lol #her boyfriend also saw the dude watching her sleep one night #i can hear activity on the stairs clearly so I would know if someone came/left #still one of the least haunted places i've lived so it's fine #also i hooked up with one of my other neighbors but that's beside the point

[cesium-sheep]

she went to sleep out in the living room as soon as I laid down in bed, which is not that unusual lately but is very easy to interpret badly right now.

#I need reassurance but I think asking her would be a very bad idea #because. I'm not confident she's able to offer it. #both simply because of the time and because she may actually be avoiding me. #and if she *is* avoiding me letting her see me be upset about it will just make it worse #and if she's *not* avoiding me then I'm just pointlessly getting upset over nothing #and it fucking hurts and I just want to feel like I can ask my wife for reassurance without it turning into a prisoner's dilemma #and I feel like if I stay up she might come back but I know she won't even if it has nothing to do with me #I'm so fucking sad and I deserve comfort but there is clear direct evidence that I shouldn't ask for it #and it wont just appear out of thin air #cuz I do try asking for it less dramatically than this! I do! repeatedly! #and it doesn't work! #so I fall apart! #so it drives her away! #so I get less of what I need! #and I act like it's a goddamn crisis because it *is* a goddamn crisis but I'm still left sobbing alone in bed #while both my partners snooze away in other rooms #because it's implicitly forbidden to wake them #I guess I can at least text her. just a little 'hey if you're awake I could use comfort' #she can just pretend not to see it if she wants to. I won't know. #(and if she's actually asleep it won't bother her.)