#i’m always complaining to myself in my head about how me & my best friend have grown apart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yoongiseesawmp3 · 1 year

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all things end - mingyu

summary: you grew up with mingyu. he was your first kiss. your first boyfriend. the first man you ever loved. some things just aren’t meant to last, but during some time apart you struggle to forget mingyu, and he does his best to get you back. because who could ever love you as much as he does?

word count: 12.7k

warnings: afab reader, some gendered terms. ex!mingyu / childhood friends to lovers so plenty of fluff and angst, uhhhh scheming cheol too

masterlist

“what?” cheol groans, answering the phone despite being in the middle of a workout.

“can i come over?” you ask meekly on the other end, and his heart twists.

“bad day?”

“yeah.”

“sure, i’ll be there in 20. come by whenever.”

“thank you,” you sniff, and he hangs up, finishing his last few reps before rushing to get back to his apartment. this is your third bad day this week. your breakup is, understandably, hitting you hard. cheol can’t help but wonder, if you’re so torn up about this, why did you leave mingyu at all? maybe one day he’ll finally ask, but for now he just heads home and shoots you a text asking what kind of ice cream you’ll need tonight.

“so i was walking my dog,” you say, scooping a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth before you continue, “and you know how gyu always liked taking him by that lake at sunset?”

“sure,” cheol nods. “was it sunset when you walked by and it made you think of mingyu?”

“well. yeah.”

“and that’s what prompted today’s spiral?” he asks, grabbing the ice cream from your cold hands so he can hack at it with his spoon.

“i am not spiraling,” you say, trying to swoop your spoon in but getting knocked away by your best friend. “rude.”

“you spiral every time something reminds you of mingyu,” he says, “or when someone mentions him, or, the most idiotic part, when you see him because someone thought you should stay friends despite the messy breakup.”

“i hate when you try to be the voice of reason,” you complain.

“i’m not trying, i am.”

“it’s annoying.”

“stop having problems then,” he says with a mouthful of ice cream. you get up and toss the blanket in your lap back onto the couch, and cheol whines, “where are you going?”

“you’re obviously no help so i’ll just go back home and cry myself to sleep or something.”

“no fair! don’t make me feel bad for you! you put yourself in this situation! i don’t even know why you and mingyu broke up in the first place!”

“i’ve told you a million times,” you whine, sitting back down and tossing your head into the armrest of the couch. “we just weren’t meant for each other anymore.”

“god, why does your answer get more vague every time?” cheol teases, kicking you lightly with his foot. “am i ever gonna get the real reason? did you have a big fight? he doesn’t want kids? you called his mom a hoe?”

“we didn’t fight, i didn’t call mrs. kim anything mean, and we definitely didn’t fight about kids,” you reply, and cheol smiles like the cheshire cat.

“lemme guess. you’ve both already agreed on baby names?”

“shut up.”

“is one of them at least seungcheol? cheol junior? come on, i deserve it,” he pleads, finally getting a laugh out of you.

“if by some act of god mingyu and i get back together and decide to have kids we will consider naming a potential child after you,” you say just to appease him, your heart twisting because you know you and mingyu won’t be together again for that to even be a possibility.

“i’m holding you to that,” he says smugly, and you roll your eyes, leaving it at that. you’re both quiet for a while, passing the ice cream back and forth. you like that cheol doesn’t take you too seriously when you’re like this, because you need the break from your own thoughts. but it’s nice like this too, just being around each other. you decide to break the silence when you notice what time it is, getting up for real. “where are you going now?”

“home,” you sigh. “i have to get up early tomorrow to take fred to the vet, so i should go to sleep.”

“ok,” cheol nods. “text me what flavor you want tomorrow night and i’ll pick it up on the way home from work.”

“i’ll try my best not to need this tomorrow, but thank you,” you say. “i appreciate it more than you know.”

“anytime y/n,” cheol smiles. “let me know when you get home!”

“will do. night cheol.”

you’re up bright and early the next morning to take fred in for his appointment before you have to go to work. it’s allergy season, and no one warned you that your sweet little man could have allergies worse than any human you’ve ever met. fred has a rash on his back that he keeps trying to lick, bite, and scratch, so your vet gave him some medicine and a cone of shame to keep him from bothering the area for a while. you’re laughing to yourself as you take him home, eager to put the cone on him, just to see what it looks like. once you have it on, you laugh again and snap a picture because, yes, he looks silly. you post it to your story and forget about it as you go about the rest of your day.

a little after lunch, mingyu is taking a break from staring at his computer and goes to check his phone. after refreshing instagram, his heart leaps when he sees your icon at the top of his page, alerting him to what you’ve posted. yeah, yeah, he shouldn’t still follow you technically, but he can’t help himself. he only lets his conscious stop him for a couple seconds before he’s tapping your icon and viewing your story, which is fred in his cone of shame. mingyu, who loved you so much but quite possibly loved fred more, freaks out. something must be wrong, and before he thinks better of it he texts you to ask what’s wrong.

you’re in a meeting when you get the text. you’re bored out of your mind, otherwise you would’ve just let it be. but your mind keeps wandering and now that you’ve heard the buzz of a message come through you can’t help yourself. you lift your phone just slightly to take a look, and you slam it back down when you see mingyu’s name lighting your screen. you do your best to ignore it through the rest of your meeting, but your mind keeps wandering back to him.

your lack of a reply has mingyu freaking out even more. he texts a couple more times, asking questions so hopefully when you do reply mingyu will get the information all at once. but all of those go unanswered too, and he can’t take it anymore. he calls you, biting his lip anxiously as he waits to find out what’s going on.

your phone rings as you’re leaving your meeting, and your heart drops when you see that it’s mingyu. you haven’t had time to read his texts, but if he’s been bothering you this much it must be serious. you take a breath, preparing for the worst, and then you accept the call.

“hello?” you ask meekly, and you hear mingyu sigh on the other end.

“y/n,” he says, relieved. “finally. what’s going on?”

“uh, nothing?” you reply. “i’m at work.”

“huh? why?!”

“it’s a wednesday? most people with jobs work on wednesdays,” you explain.

“no, i mean what’s going on with fred?” mingyu clarifies, and that’s when you notice the worry in his voice. you used to be able to pick up on his emotions instantly, and it sends a jab to your chest that it took you this long to realize he was upset.

“oh, he has allergies,” you laugh. “he uh, he was bothering a spot on his back so the vet gave him that collar to stop him from licking it.”

“so he’s ok?” mingyu asks, and you nod as you respond.

“he’s fine, just inbred probably,” you joke, earning a little nose snort from mingyu. “listen, uh, i’m at work, so-”

“yeah, yeah, go, sorry for bothering you,” mingyu replies. “give fred a hug for me.”

“will do. bye mingyu.”

“bye baby,” he says without thinking. he hangs up, realization hitting him a second too late. he thinks about texting you to apologize, but he’s bugged you enough today. maybe you didn’t hear it? he can just ignore it, right? it’s not like you’ll be talking to each other soon anyway, so maybe you’ll forget it eventually.

the first time mingyu called you baby was an accident, too. you were really close friends, but nothing more. you’ve known mingyu since you were five, when his family moved in next to yours and your parents made you play together because you were both around the same age.

for you, he was the stinky neighbor boy who would make your heart flutter when he pulled up weeds and handed them to you like a bouquet of flowers. for mingyu, you were the pretty neighbor he wasn’t quite sure how to talk to, so he did things like pull up weeds for you. he usually showed his love for you like that, in more physical ways than verbal. one time, when you were about ten and he was almost twelve, you told mingyu you really liked another neighbor’s bike and you wished you had one like it for yourself. he still remembers asking poor dokyeom if he could borrow it, and he also remembers how much his parents yelled at him when they found out he had given it to you as a surprise. you teased mingyu about that constantly, still laughing over the memory of him walking the bike back to dokyeom’s house with the saddest look on his face. that was the first time he realized he only wanted to do things that made you happy, and it was the first time you realized mingyu was more sweet than he was stinky.

the first time he called you baby was late one night at his house. you had been friends so long your parents weren’t worried about leaving you alone together (secretly hoping you would wipe the idiocy from your eyes and fall in love already). you were in the basement at mingyu’s, sitting comfortably next to him on the couch and watching a scary movie, despite your protests. mingyu wasn’t usually a scary movie guy either, but your friends at school had talked about this movie so much that mingyu got teased for not watching it.

he had summoned you like he always did, standing on the fence in his backyard and shouting your name until you opened your bedroom window. your houses were so close you didn’t have to yell once the window was open, so you spoke normally as you told mingyu firmly that you would not be watching that with him. it only took a few seconds of him pouting for you to cave, and once you were settled on the couch he said passively, “don’t worry baby, i’ve got you if it gets too scary.”

that one little word had haunted you for days, by far scarier than the movie you watched that night. mingyu had called you baby. that’s not what friends call each other, that’s boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. and that definitely wasn’t you and mingyu.

at least to the two of you it wasn’t. to everyone else, you were an item. it was so obvious you liked each other that guys wouldn’t approach you, and girls knew not to fall for mingyu because he would never fall back. it took ages for you two to notice, but once you did, your life had never been more lovely. to love mingyu and be loved by him is one of the best things you’ve ever done. his love is deep and he loves hard, and for some people that kind of passion can be a little scary. it was definitely scary for you, even if took a while for you to notice.

just like the first time he called you baby, that one slip up on the phone stuck with you. you couldn’t tell cheol about it, because he’d just question the whole break up again, so you sat with it quietly as you played the sound of mingyu’s voice over and over again in your head.

days later, mingyu had already forgotten about it. he was worried at first, but when the world didn’t implode immediately after he basically let it go. you’d assume it was a mistake, not him still pining for you despite what happened. so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

that weekend, you found yourself at hoshi’s for a party. his apartment was packed, so you were prepared to get tipsy and then head home. cheol wasn’t there yet so you were bothering seungkwan instead, and he was doing everything he could to get rid of you. that includes pushing you into someone’s firm chest on accident, and you almost fall through the floor when you look up and see mingyu staring back at you in shock. you’re just drunk enough that you want to have a little fun with him, a mischievous smirk slowly forming on your face.

“hey, baby,” you emphasize, watching as mingyu’s face starts out hopeful and then falls slightly.

“oh, haha,” he laughs nervously. “hey. um, so you noticed that the other day.”

“i did.”

“s-sorry,” he stutters. “old habits die hard.”

you nod in agreement as you take a sip of your drink, not so sure now, with his big brown eyes staring you down, why you thought talking to him was a good idea. you usually spent these parties pressed up against mingyu’s chest, back to front, his arm wrapped around you lazily. suddenly you’re cold just at the thought, and you ache to feel mingyu wrapped around you again.

“how’s fred?” he asks, trying to keep you next to him for as long as possible.

“he’s good,” you nod. “doesn’t need the cone anymore.”

“aw, lame, those pictures were funny,” mingyu pouts, and you have to look away so you don’t have the urge to kiss him.

“yeah, well, i still have it so i can put it back on him if he ever gets annoying.”

“that’s good,” mingyu nods now, awkwardly looking around for a way out of this conversation without being rude. he misses you, and he was totally aware of that, but it’s easier to push it away when you’re not standing so close, your perfume encasing him in memories of when you were his. now you’re not, and mingyu wants to go home. he’s searching the room for someone to talk to so this moment won’t be so pathetic, but cheol comes to the rescue.

“hey ex lovebirds,” cheol teases, bumping into you enough to make you stumble. mingyu reaches out to steady you, but cheol grabs you by the waist to keep you in place, and mingyu has to look away or else he might light on fire with anger. it’s a simple touch, he knows cheol doesn’t mean anything by it, but it always bothered him when other people tried to take care of you. that was his job, and he didn’t like anyone getting in the way of that. “why do you both look so miserable? it’s a party. drink, have fun, maybe kiss a little-”

“i do need another drink,” you say, taking the first chance to leave this situation. you look to both guys before asking, “do you need anything?” they shake their heads, so you escape to the kitchen and mentally mark the living room off. you can’t go back out there now. maybe it’s time for you to just leave.

“so,” cheol says, smirk hiding behind his cup. “how’s your plan going?”

“what plan?” mingyu asks, obviously confused.

“your plan to get y/n back,” cheol replies nonchalantly. “you have one, right? otherwise i don’t see why you aren’t leaving my friend alone after such a devastating break up.”

“i’m your friend too?! what about me and my feelings?”

“you annoy me more than y/n does, so i’m on her side,” cheol jokes, and mingyu groans. “but seriously. what’s going on here? she won’t tell me anything.”

“we broke up.”

“i know that. elaborate.”

“no,” mingyu says stubbornly, crossing his arms. “that’s between me and y/n. she won’t tell you so neither will i.”

“god, forget it. i’m on no one’s side, you’re both annoying,” cheol scoffs. “match made in heaven, you two.”

it’s quiet between them for a moment, both men just sloshing their drinks around in their cups, looking around at their drunken friends ruining hoshi’s lovely home. mingyu thinks for a second, deciding if he’ll actually admit this to cheol or not, but he slams the rest of his drink and turns to his friend before he can change his mind.

“i don’t have a plan,” he starts off. “yet. i’m trying to feel things out. i tried giving y/n space, and that’s not working for me. i love her, dude. i’ll only ever love her.”

“then go get her!” cheol says incredulously, motioning for the kitchen. “she’s hiding in there so she doesn’t have to see you, she’d be easy to corner-”

“but,” mingyu interjects. “but. i don’t know if she wants me back. she broke things off, so i’m trying to respect that. i just...i don’t know if she loves me anymore, man. so i want to make a plan, i want to get her back, but i’m afraid of what would happen if it doesn’t work. if she really doesn’t love me anymore.”

“hm,” cheol hums before he finishes his own drink. he takes a minute, smacks his lips, then turns to his idiotic best friend. “get her back. as soon as possible, actually. she’s a wreck without you. whatever happened for her to break up with you, i’m sorry. but she hasn’t stopped talking about you since. she still loves you man, no doubt. so i think you should try. and let me know how i can help, because, man, she’s really been bumming me out lately being all sad like this.”

“she’s sad?” mingyu asks, sadness appearing on his own features, making cheol roll his eyes.

“i said a whole essay and that’s the only thing you picked up on?”

“no, i get it,” mingyu nods. “i’ll think of something.”

“good,” cheol nods, then points to mingyu’s cup. “you want a refill?”

“do you mind grabbing it for me?” mingyu asks sheepishly.

“no,” cheol says in disbelief. “you can’t be hiding from her too.”

“what if i am!”

“i’m so close to revoking my offer to help,” cheol complains as he snatches mingyu’s cup from him. “i’ll be back.”

mingyu’s conversation with cheol set his mind in motion. he hasn’t stopped thinking about you since, as if that was new. but now he has a reason to spend all his time thinking about you. truthfully, mingyu isn’t sure he knows why you broke things off. at least, he doesn’t know how to explain it to people. he knows it must have made sense to you, and to him, enough for him to let you go. but he just remembers one very tearful conversation where you told him you couldn’t do this anymore, and that was it. he’d steal the sun to make your world brighter, so if he wasn’t making you happy anymore he wasn’t going to stick around if you didn’t want him there.

but now. now he’s wishing he had fought back. asked questions. tried to fix things instead of just running away. he still loves you, and if cheol’s right and you still love him, then what the hell are you doing?

your first date with mingyu was simple. since it took you both years to realize your mutual feelings for each other, there wasn’t much you hadn’t already done together. you already tried out new restaurants together, went to arcades and movies and concerts just the two of you. you even forced mingyu to get a membership at your favorite museum so you could drag him along anytime there was a new exhibit you were dying to see. so when mingyu finally asked you out, he wasn’t sure what to do. he wracked his brain for the fanciest restaurant he could think of, or searched for romantic movies playing around town, but none of it felt right. none of it felt like you.

that’s why your first date was simple. he knew he didn’t have to do something grandiose to impress you, so instead he invited you over to his dorm and made you dinner. he wouldn’t tell you what he was making, but when you walked in it smelled familiar. not just because mingyu’s scent wafted up around you when he welcomed you in, but because the food on the stove instantly reminded you of home. you tried peeking at the pots to see if you could figure out what it was, but mingyu cutely pushed you away.

“you’re gonna ruin the surprise!” he whines, childishly pushing you out to the living room. “you can’t be in here!”

“so you’re telling me i can’t be around my boyfriend on our first date?” you challenge him, and his force falters. “i want to spend time with you gyu, let me at least be in the kitchen with you.”

“promise not to look at the food though,” he says with a finger in your face. you grab his hand and wrap yours in his sweaty, warm grasp.

“i’ll keep my eyes on you, deal?”

“deal,” he smiles shyly, squeezing your hand before pulling you behind him into the kitchen. he starts working with just one hand, so you let go of his other one to make it easier for him to cook. “why’d you do that?”

“do what?” you ask, leaning against the counter so you can sit back and watch.

“let go,” he pouts, reaching for you again.

“you have to use both hands to cook, baby,” you laugh, and you watch with love in your eyes as he blushes a deep pink.

“right,” he nods. “ok. it’s almost done, but if you’re hungry there’s snacks in the fridge.”

“i’m good,” you say quietly, watching as mingyu returns to chopping something. you silently admire him as he works, your heart warming as it settles in your mind: mingyu is finally yours. your first love. your only love, probably, is your boyfriend. how amazing is that?

“baby?” mingyu repeats, snapping you out of your trance. there’s the hint of a smile on his face as your eyes meet his. “did you hear me?”

“no, what did you say?” now it’s your turn to blush. mingyu takes a step closer, carefully placing his hands on your hips.

“i said it’s ready,” he smiles. “you were staring at me.”

“yeah, i told you i was gonna do that.”

“what were you thinking about?” mingyu barely whispers, his face incredibly close to yours now.

i was thinking about how much i love you.

“um, you?”

“what about me?”

“i was mentally critiquing your form,” you tease, a smile breaking out across both your faces.

“and how was it?” he asks, close enough now that you can feel his breath on your lips.

“you’re gonna chop a finger off one day,” you reply quietly, eyes drifting down to mingyu’s lips as you speak. he notices and the side of his mouth quirks up in a smirk.

“how’s my form now?” he asks before hastily pressing a kiss to your lips, pulling back almost like the touch sent a shock through him.

“could be better,” you squeak out, and he nods before leaning back down to capture your lips in a real kiss. it’s warm, delicate but strong, and it’s mingyu. you can’t seem to wrap your head around that part. mingyu is kissing you right now. you’re kissing mingyu. and he’s really good at it. sooner than you’d like, he’s pulling away again.

“how was that?” he asks, lips just barely grazing over yours.

“better,” you reply breathlessly. “you take criticism well.”

“i’m just here to please you baby,” he says, his words dripping with double meanings. you feel a chill run down your spine as you notice the hungry look in his eyes, and you clear your throat before speaking.

“so, um, can i see the food now or do i have to eat with my eyes closed?”

“depends,” mingyu replies. “you want me to feed it to you?”

“stop being weird,” you laugh, pushing him away playfully but instantly missing the warmth of his chest against yours. you ignore his smile and lean over the stove, heart picking up as you try to see what he made. mingyu puts his arms around your waist fully and moves you out of the way, back to his childish shoves and whines about ruining the surprise.

in a few minutes, you’re sat on his couch, eyes closed with a bowl of something warm in your lap. mingyu was serious about feeding you, at least the first bite, because he wants to keep the meal a surprise. as you complain about it for the millionth time, mingyu brings a spoon up to your lips and quietly asks you to open your mouth. you welcome the food, and your eyes shoot open when you immediately recognize the taste.

“chicken and dumplings?” you ask, and mingyu smiles proudly. “how’d you learn to make that? it tastes just like home. i can’t...i don’t believe you made this.”

“please,” mingyu scoffs. “i was over at your house enough that i saw your grandma, your mom, even you, make this a million times. i made it the exact same way.”

“i can’t believe this,” you shake your head. “i...this is perfect, gyu. thank you.”

“no problem baby,” he smiles as he cuddles into your side, handing you another full spoon. “your turn.”

“what?” you ask, confused, just to turn and see mingyu waiting with his mouth open. you laugh, letting your head fall onto his shoulder. “you’re embarrassing.”

“yeah, but you love it,” he laughs along, taking the spoon back so he can start eating too. as he goes on about how perfectly he cooked this, he misses the way your face heats up as you think, yes, you do love it. you love him, and you’re trying to figure out how soon is too soon to tell him that.

part one of mingyu’s plan is a little concerning. he’s not following you, no, he’s not doing anything that would make you uncomfortable, but...he is hanging around your favorite coffeeshop in the mornings. he knows he’s bound to catch you here at least once this week, and he doesn’t mind doing a little work in such a cozy place anyway. if he sees you, great. if not, also great. he’s been more productive the past two days than he has all month.

he gets lucky on the third day, because he hears a familiar laugh at the door and his ears perk up like an excited puppy. he sees you holding the door open for someone, and he tries to not make it obvious that he’s staring. you’re wearing one of his hoodies. if he had any doubts about this, now they’re all erased, because you’re wearing one of his hoodies. he didn’t even remember giving it to you, so it must have been one you stole from him. it’s old too, he can tell there’s a hole near the wrist that you’re trying to not accidentally slip a finger through. he keeps flicking his eyes up to you as you ask for your usual, mouthing the words along with you just to make sure he’s still got it. café con leche, sprinkle of cinnamon. when you turn around after paying, mingyu ducks his head down and goes back to work. he won’t approach you just yet, so he tries to lay low.

but you saw him the moment you walked in. a big dude like that? he sticks out immediately. your blood ran cold when you caught him staring at you, mentally cursing yourself for not changing shirts before you left the house. it might be a little pathetic, but you slept in this hoodie last night. the heat in your place hasn’t been working well and it was unusually cold, so you needed the extra coverage. this hoodie was the first thing you pulled from your closet, and you were too lazy to find something else. you won’t admit being wrapped up in mingyu’s scent helped you have the best sleep you’ve gotten since the break up. you try to ignore the feeling of mingyu’s eyes on you as you order, and when you turn back to the seating area you laugh to yourself seeing mingyu look away like he wasn’t boring holes into your back. you scan the room for an empty spot and find one, but your own eyes pull back to mingyu. you wait at the counter for your drink, and take a deep breath before walking over.

“should i go ahead and sit with you, or did you wanna stare a little bit longer?” you ask once you reach mingyu’s table, his head snapping up in shock at you approaching him without noticing.

“uh, i, um, i wasn’t, this isn’t what it looks like,” he blubbers, and you roll your eyes.

“you know if you wanted to talk to me you can just call,” you mumble as you pull the seat out and sit down.

“hey, i’m actually working,” he says, sliding his laptop around to prove it. “maybe i’m just here to enjoy the ambiance.”

“fine,” you nod, sipping your drink and loving the way it instantly puts you at ease. “don’t let me interrupt.” you start pulling out your own things, setting up your laptop before deciding you might want to read instead. you compromise and send some emails first, the rapid sound of your typing somehow comforting to mingyu. he resettles himself, accidentally bumping your leg with his under the table.

“sorry,” he whispers.

“it’s okay,” you reply, a sympathetic grin on your face. “with your long ass legs i’m used to it.”

“still,” he tries not to smile back like an idiot. “sorry.”

you fall back into silence, both of you working on your own things and “enjoying the ambiance.” you’re not sure how much time passes before mingyu interrupts the quiet.

“hey,” he whispers, grabbing your attention. he nods to your laptop and asks, “what are you doing?”

“i’m working, mingyu,” you laugh. “what are you doing?”

“working,” he replies quickly. “been a busy week for me.”

“hm, same here.”

“cold too,” he tries, smiling proudly when you shift in your seat. he caught you. “did you magically lose all your other hoodies and jackets, or does someone miss stealing my clothes?”

“i didn’t steal this,” you counter, accusing finger pointed in his direction. “you insisted i take this one because you didn’t want it anymore but you said it was too sentimental to donate. i did you a favor by taking this ratty old thing.”

“but you kept it,” he says happily, finishing his coffee and pointing to your long empty mug. “you want another?”

“sure,” you reply sheepishly, “a café co-”

“café con leche, sprinkle of cinnamon,” mingyu finishes in unison with you. then a sly smile as he says, “i remember, baby. be right back.”

“what the hell did you say to mingyu?” you bark at seungcheol over the phone. “why was he at my coffeeshop this morning? and why’s he suddenly calling me baby all casual like we’re still dating?”

“this is news to me,” cheol says, but you can hear the smirk in his voice. “i didn’t say anything to him. at least not anything i think he heard. that boyfriend of yours can be an airhead sometimes.”

“he’s not my boyfriend,” you grumble.

“but he bought you coffee this morning?”

“he told you?!”

“i’m not at liberty to say,” cheol laughs. “just enjoy it, y/n. whatever he’s up to, it can’t hurt to see where it goes.”

“i hate you both,” you groan, hanging up as cheol mumbles a “right, sure.” when the call is over, you fall back down onto your bed, mind working top speed to decide what to do next. you could move and change your name, leaving mingyu and cheol behind. that’s a bit dramatic. you could tell cheol to get fucked, but he’d find a way to bring mingyu into it. and mingyu. you don’t know what to do about him. you could just ask him to leave you alone, and you think he would. but a little part of you does want to see where this goes.

you wake up the next morning to the smell of something coming from your kitchen. you rush up, afraid you somehow left dinner on the stove and you’re seconds away from burning the building down. but when you crash into the kitchen, ungracefully, you’re met with mingyu’s muscular back as he looks for something in your fridge. at the sound of your frantic movements, he looks over his shoulder and grumbles out a good morning in the deepest voice you’ve ever heard. you’re stunned, not totally sure how he got here, and totally confused as to why he’s shirtless.

“um, whatcha doin?” you ask casually.

“i was gonna make french toast,” mingyu starts out, coming closer to you. “but you’re out of milk. so now it’s just eggs and toast.” as he gets closer, his hands reach out for your waist, and you let him pull you against his warm chest. “is that ok?”

“mhm,” you nod, not sure what to do with your hands. you don’t want to put them on his chest, afraid the skin to skin contact would ignite something dangerous in you. you also don’t want to put them around his neck because that territory feels just as dangerous. so that leaves you with your hands bunched up by your chest and mingyu looking on, amused.

“afraid to touch me?” he asks, a smirk on his stupidly kissable lips.

“no, um, i just-” you stutter, but what sounds like a phone alarm cuts you off. was mingyu baking something?

“you gonna get that, baby?” he asks, seemingly referring to the alarm but you don’t know where it’s coming from.

“what? it’s not mine,” you say, and you miss what mingyu says next as you’re jolted awake by something furry laying on your chest. you carefully open your eyes, afraid that maybe mingyu just forgot to shave and somehow he would be the one on top of you right now. but it’s just fred, and the alarm is yours. your phone is going off, reminding you that you’re probably gonna be late to work. you scramble to get up and start your day, but you can’t stop thinking about mingyu.

about halfway through the day, you get a text from cheol asking if you want to get dinner that night. his friend jeonghan, who’s always kinda scared you, has tickets to some concert out of town and cheol wants to make it into a big trip. cheol wants you to come, and he knows you two will be the only ones competent enough to plan the whole thing so he needs you as back up tonight. you agree, eager to get a break from work and from mingyu. going out of town will be a nice distraction, and even though jeonghan is intimidating he’s still really fun to be around.

speak of the devil, he’s the first to wrap you up in a hug when you get to the guys’ table that night, and he whispers something to you about mingyu being annoying and you’re better off without him. you smile at the condolence and let him drag you into the open seat next to him. he and cheol start filling you in on the plans, when you’ll leave, where you’ll stay, day of the concert, etc. you give some advice on things to do in your free time, and jeonghan types it all into his phone while cheol price checks your options.

“so there’s one airbnb with enough beds for each of us, but it’s $100 more a night, compared to this one with a queen, a twin, and a sofa bed, which is the cheapest option and also closer to everything we want to do,” cheol says, nose still in his phone.

“book the cheap one then,” you shrug. “one of y’all can take the queen bed as long as i don’t get put on the pull out.”

“i can take the pull out,” jeonghan offers. “i’ll sleep wherever.”

“and i’ll take the twin,” cheol says. “gives me my own room.”

“so we won’t be able to hear you snoring?” you ask. “thank god.”

“ignoring that,” cheol mumbles, writing something down on his napkin. “so that would make it $80 even for each of us for the whole weekend. i can book it and you can send me your money whenever.”

“sounds good,” jeonghan nods as he pours you all more soju.

“wait, that makes no sense,” you start. “it’s only $80? for the whole weekend?”

“yep,” cheol nods, waving the napkin in your face. “wanna check my work, teacher?”

“no, jack ass,” you laugh, pushing his hand out of the way before graciously taking the glass jeonghan hands you. “just shocked you found such a steal.”

“speaking of stealing things,” jeonghan says, “whose car are we taking?”

“mine is in the shop,” cheol sighs. “and y/n doesn’t drive.”

“guess we’ll take mingyu’s then,” jeonghan decides. cheol’s eyes flick over to you on instinct, and when he doesn’t see a reaction from you he smiles.

“cool, i can pick everyone up on friday then?” he asks, and you nod. with everything planned, your conversation can stray off to other topics while the drinks flow, and that’s how you end up flipping through jeonghan’s tinder for him later in the night. you’re maybe too tipsy to be doing this, but jeonghan likes the chaos of it, and cheol is just happy to see you having fun. he hopes this trip will help with that too.

cheol comes to pick you up, as promised, but he texts you when he pulls up that you’ll have to sit in the back. you get out of your building and recognize mingyu’s car immediately, tossing your bag in the trunk before grabbing the door to the backseat. when you slide in, you almost jump out of your skin when you see mingyu sitting back there too.

“told you it’d surprise her,” you hear cheol and jeonghan laugh, but you’re too busy trying to sputter out a question.

“hey y/n,” mingyu says shyly.

“hi?” you reply, looking to cheol who’s staring at you through the rearview mirror. “um? hello?”

“hey,” he smiles. “you buckled?”

“no she’s not,” mingyu replies for you, and you roll your eyes before you put the seatbelt in place.

“sorry, but what’s he doing here?” you ask. “you stole the car and the owner?”

“no, he’s coming with us,” jeonghan replies. “i thought i told you i had four tickets to the show?”

“no?” you say, voice at a higher pitch than you’d like it to be.

“is there a problem, y/n?” cheol asks, looking at you through the rearview again so if you really weren’t comfortable with this he would see.

“no,” you sigh after a second. “just didn’t expect it, that’s all.”

“for the record,” mingyu whispers, leaning close to you, “this was not part of my plan. i swear.”

“but it was part of mine!” cheol jokes, and mingyu kicks his chair. “hey, don’t make me pull this car over.”

“you mean my car?!” mingyu screeches back, and you lean up to whisper in jeonghan’s ear.

“why did you think bringing these two on a trip would be fun?” you ask loud enough for cheol and gyu to hear, making the car erupt in whines and cries while jeonghan laughs. it’s gonna be a long ride, you think to yourself.

you’re able to sleep most of the way there, only getting interrupted every once in a while when mingyu moves his long limbs to get comfortable. each time it’s an awkward half smile in apology, and you just nod in recognition. you don’t really want him here, to be honest. this trip was supposed to take your mind off him. now how will that be possible?

mingyu feels bad for surprising you like this, really. cheol asked him to come on this trip and didn’t say you’d be joining them until it was too late for mingyu to back out, so he wants a minute alone with you to explain. he wants to tell you that he can hang back, if you want to enjoy some time with the guys sans your ex boyfriend. he’ll do whatever makes you happy, like usual.

mingyu’s desire to talk to you is what leads him to follow you to your room at the airbnb, saying he’s looking for the bathroom but really he wants to apologize for the ambush. you turn back to the door once you’ve placed your things on the bed, jumping when you see his large form cowering in the doorway.

“bathroom’s not in here, gyu,” you tell him. “think it’s the next door on the left.”

“i’m not looking for the bathroom,” he says, taking a careful step into your room. “i wanted to say i’m sorry, for this. i didn’t know you were coming either, or else i would’ve backed out. i don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“i’m not uncomfortable around you, mingyu,” you say firmly. “i just-”

“you forgot your stuff dude,” cheol says, popping up behind mingyu and handing him his bag. then he looks at you quickly, smiling before he teases, “i see you’ve found the honeymoon suite?”

“the-what?” you ask, confused.

“you ended up with the biggest bed, y/n, so you gotta share with the friendly giant over here,” cheol explains as he nods in mingyu’s direction. “he’s definitely not fitting on the twin with me.”

“and i don’t like him enough to share a bed with him!” jeonghan shouts from somewhere else in the house.

“you’re fucking kidding me.”

“no time to complain right now,” cheol says as he checks his watch. “we’ve got dinner reservations. mingyu, bathroom is next door, you might wanna change your shirt before we leave. i don’t wanna stare at y/n’s drool while i eat.”

“my what?” you ask, looking at mingyu to see what cheol is referring to. there’s a spot near mingyu’s collarbone that looks slightly wet, and your hand flies to your mouth as you gasp, “i drooled on you?! how? why didn’t you push me off?!”

“you were asleep!” mingyu replies, voice an octave or two higher. “i felt bad! you just kinda fell onto my shoulder, and i didn’t wanna wake you up!”

“we’re leaving in five minutes, whether you’re ready or not,” cheol tells mingyu. he walks away, and mingyu grabs a new shirt out of his bag before heading back to the door.

“uh, gyu?” you call, and he turns immediately. “s-sorry..for, that, i guess,�� you say, pointing to his shirt. “next time you have full permission to push me. promise i won’t get mad.”

“it’s okay,” he shrugs. “you know i don’t mind.” and with that, he leaves for the bathroom. you can tell there’s a blush on your cheeks, so you close the door and lock it while you take a minute to chill out. you decide to change too, not wanting to wear your old sweats to dinner even if it’s supposed to be laid back. you’re afraid now that you’ve got drool on your own shirt, so you change into something casual quickly and then join the guys in the living room.

once you’re there, cheol checks that everyone’s good to go, and you all walk out to the car. you don’t catch the way mingyu stares at you the whole time, or maybe you’re just ignoring it. you’re wearing a matching set with a jean jacket, nothing extravagant, but mingyu has the exact same outfit packed in his bag. you bought the sets together, for a last minute trip you took a year ago. mingyu wanted to get matching vacation shirts and you vehemently refused, so you compromised with a his and hers loungewear set. once again, mingyu’s heart soars at the little nod to your time together, because clearly you’re not as detached from it as you claim to be.

at dinner, jeonghan insists on sitting next to you again, so you’re squished into the booth next to him while mingyu looks on in not-so-hidden jealousy. he’s sitting across from you, scanning the menu and trying not to flick his eyes up to you. jeonghan starts talking about what he wants to try, and cheol asks if they should just order a bunch of plates and share everything.

“eh, you guys can do that, but there’s really just one thing i wanted to try,” you say, pushing the menu away now that you’ve found what you want.

“lemme guess,” cheol says as his eyes scan the menu. “you’re gonna get something lame, like chicken alfredo.”

“no,” you shake your head. “i’m trying something new, but it’s not as tomato heavy as the stuff you want, which all sounds nasty, by the way.”

“why’d you agree to come to an italian restaurant if you think the food is nasty?” cheol counters.

“you all seemed excited about trying it,” you shrug. “and like i said, there’s one thing i want. that’s enough.”

“what’s that one thing?” jeonghan cuts in, trying to stop cheol from bickering further.

“let me guess this time,” mingyu smiles. your eyes meet his and you blush under his gaze, thankful for the low lighting at the table. hopefully the guys don’t catch it. you nod and encourage mingyu to take a stab at it, and he pretends to look at the menu again even though this was the first thing he noticed. “you’re getting the gnocchi in the truffle sauce, but you really agreed to italian because you want to get tiramisu for dessert.”

“i, yeah, you got me,” you stammer out.

“what drink is she gonna get?” cheol asks with a smile, head leaning on his hand as he watches in amusement.

“hm,” mingyu looks at the menu seriously. “maybe an espresso with the tiramisu, but i bet you’ll try to make us order the digestif spritz thing at the end of the meal.”

“shut up,” you say, kicking his foot lightly under the table. “i was gonna try it myself, i won’t force y’all to try it if you don’t want to.” jeonghan, not picking up on the eyes you and mingyu are making at each other, joins in.

“i thought about trying that too,” he nods, looking at cheol and asking what he wants to order to share. while they discuss an inordinate amount of food, you’re just staring at mingyu, who’s looking at you smugly. finally you just shake your head and look back down at the menu, judging whatever the other boys decided to order. when the waiter comes back, mingyu smiles proudly as you order exactly what he predicted. mingyu nudges your leg playfully under the table, and you’re about to fight back when jeonghan cuts through your thoughts. “wait, did i tell you guys about the dream i had in the car?”

“i didn’t know you fell asleep,” cheol shakes his head.

“i did, when you were complaining about that girl who wouldn’t call you back.”

“hey!”

“anyway,” jeonghan starts again. “i had a dream that i was at work and y/n came in,” he smiles at you. “i guess you complaining about your job made me subconsciously think we should hire you at my office?”

“anything is better than my job right now,” you laugh, imagining how nothing would get done if you and jeonghan worked together.

“but you came in, and i was going to start training you, and then mingyu comes out of the boss’s office and is like no she’s here to take your job-”

“wait, mingyu was there?” you ask before you can stop yourself.

“yeah, i was there?” mingyu teases. “you in love with me or something?”

“y/n why is that so shocking,” cheol asks more as a statement than a question. “i told you about my mingyu dream, we’ve all got one.”

“please don’t bring that up again,” mingyu groans, head dropping. you smile at the memory of cheol’s legendary mingyu dream, which was basically just dream mingyu being so drunk he somehow climbed a telephone pole and got stuck so he called cheol to come help because he’s “strong and manly.”

“y/n do you have a mingyu dream?” jeonghan asks, and you blush deep enough that they can clearly see it this time, despite the lighting.

“um, i don’t really remember any from when, uh, from recently,” you start. “i guess i had one the other night, but it was one of those dreams that i barely remembered when i woke up. i just know mingyu was there.”

“where was i?” he asks, totally invested now.

“yeah, where was he?” cheol parrots.

“um, my kitchen?”

“can he even fit in there?” jeonghan jokes, but you ignore him.

“so i was cooking for you?” mingyu pesters you, and you nod.

“well, kinda,” you reply. “i don’t really remember.”

“was it a dirty dream?” cheol jokes. “is that why you don’t remember?”

“no, asshole,” you reply. thankfully, the first round of plates arrives to the table then and everyone is distracted for a while. you have to shake the feeling of mingyu staring at you though. it’s like he knows there’s more to the dream than you let on, but you’re not gonna unpack it with the other two sitting right here.

“y/n,” mingyu calls your name quietly. you look up and find him holding a small plate out very politely, and then he gives you his sweetest smile before asking, “can i try a gnocchi?”

“sure,” you nod, scraping one off your plate onto his. “it’s really good.”

“give me one,” cheol says, and before he can even finish you shake your head.

“nope,” you say as you pop another piece into your mouth. “you didn’t ask nicely.”

“whatever,” he grumbles.

the rest of dinner is nice, the food is great, you got your tiramisu and your weird drink at the end of the night, and cheol and jeonghan got sloshed on an expensive bottle of wine. you’re laughing with mingyu as you guide the two drunkards back to the car, struggling to get cheol to put his seatbelt on. once the toddlers are settled you turn to ask mingyu if he’s gonna drive, just to see him waiting for you by the passenger side.

“what are you doing?” you ask quietly.

“being a gentleman,” he replies simply, opening the door for you and handing you the jacket you almost left in your seat. you thank him quietly, heart picking up speed. he closes the door for you before he gets to the driver’s side, and then you’re on your way back to the airbnb. mingyu wordlessly hands you the aux, and you take it as you shuffle your library, not concerned with whatever song comes on. the first one to play is mary’s song by taylor swift, a song that has always reminded you of the way mingyu loved you. for a second, you let yourself reminisce and feel the warmth that mingyu’s love always gave you. absentmindedly, your hand reaches for his on the center console, and when you realize what you’ve done you just pull back like it was an accident. mingyu knows it wasn’t, though. he drives on in content, happy just to be sharing this moment with you, regardless of the circumstances.

back at the house, the guys let you take the bathroom first so you can shower. you promise to be quick, but while you’re in there you relish having a moment to yourself. it’s always nice, even when you’re with people you love, to have a second to yourself on a trip like this. it turns out doing you dirty this time, because the longer you’re left to your own thoughts the more they wander back to mingyu. back to how much you love him, how much he loves you, and how much that scares you. it wasn’t like you left because you didn’t care about him anymore. you were afraid you cared too much, and that it would end up hurting you one day. as all these thoughts pass through your head, you notice you’ve started crying. the shower quickly wipes your tears away, so you finish up and try to collect yourself as you get dressed. you take a couple extra minutes to pamper yourself, using the products the airbnb host left out for guests to try and steady your breathing. you take note of the fancy lotion, contemplating whether or not to steal this one, when jeonghan yelling in the hallway brings you back to reality.

clean and ready for bed, you emerge from the shower with your things in your arms. you almost drop them when you bump into mingyu leaving your room, arms laden with blankets and pillows. you look at him confused before asking what’s going on.

“where are you going?” you ask as you move further into the bedroom, noticing that mingyu has moved all of his things.

“i’m setting up my bed,” he replies.

“i thought you were sleeping with me?” you say, noticing too late how that sounds. “i mean, wait, sorry-”

“yeah, i was supposed to sleep in here, but jeonghan said i can make a bed on the floor and sleep in the living room with him,” mingyu explains with a small smile.

“why?”

“i don’t wanna bother you, y/n,” he says. “i don’t mind.”

he stands there, staring at you, almost like he’s waiting for you to say something. you want to tell him he doesn’t have to sleep on the floor, you want to tell him it’s not a bother, but above all you want to tell him not to leave. with an aching heart you realize, you really want him to stay. but he takes your quiet demeanor as a sign to go, so he turns around and steps back into the hallway.

“mingyu,” you call out quickly, pulling his attention back to you.

“yeah y/n?” he asks, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“mingyu,” you repeat, this time with a touch of sadness in your voice. “just come to bed with me.”

his heart jumps into his throat for a few reasons, first, because you asked him to come to bed with you. to share space with you after so long. he could jump and clap with joy right now, but the sad way you said his name is the other reason his heart is in his throat. that’s when he notices your puffy eyes, and he asks quietly, “have you been crying?”

you don’t need to respond. mingyu already knows. he drops everything in his arms, kicking them out of the way so he can wrap you in his arms instead. you sigh into his chest, willing the tears burning at your eyes to go away, but you let a few slip through as you whisper “i’m sorry” over and over again right above where mingyu’s heart is.

“baby,” he says, pulling your gaze up to his face, then, when your eyes meet his warm ones, “my love. what are you sorry for?”

“for running away,” you whisper. “i got sc-scared, and i’m s-sorry,” you explain as the tears start to fall again. mingyu wraps you back up in his embrace, awkwardly waddling you both toward the bed. his sounds of struggle make you giggle, a happy reprieve from the heart breaking cries mingyu so deeply wishes he could stop for you, but he knows you need to get this out.

“what were you scared of?” he asks as he helps you sit on the edge of the bed, your hands wrapped tightly in his.

“you,” you laugh lightly, making mingyu whine. you smile and put your hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb over his soft skin as you continue. “it was like one day i woke up and realized how much you loved me. and that was scary. you’ve always been my mingyu, you always will be, but life has just changed so much from when we were kids. things aren’t as easy anymore, and i guess i preemptively got scared that we wouldn’t be easy anymore. the idea of losing you,” you take a deep breath, “of you not loving me anymore one day. that scared the shit out of me.”

“things haven’t changed that much then,” mingyu says with that teasing lilt in his voice you know so well. he looks at you mischievously as he goes on, “you’re still that little kid who runs away when our games stopped going your way.”

“don’t be a dick,” you laugh, head falling onto mingyu’s shoulder. “i know it was silly. but it’s like, once i made that decision, once i decided i had to leave, i couldn’t just come running back the next day when i missed you. i had to sit with it. i made the decision, i needed to face the consequences.”

“you missed me the next day?” mingyu asks, and you scoff.

“you haven’t changed either,” you tell him. “you’re still the world’s best selective listener.”

“i heard what you said,” he nods. “and i won’t say i understand it, but i still love you, y/n. i can promise you that will never change.”

“but-”

“no buts,” he cuts in, pushing your head off his shoulder so he can cup your cheeks and make sure you’re looking at him as he says, “i’m yours. till the end of forever.”

when you were maybe fifteen - that awkward age where you wanted a boyfriend but didn’t want to admit it - mingyu was over at your house. you were so into him, but didn’t realize it yet. mingyu was warming up to the idea of you being his girlfriend, but he was afraid of asking and you turning him down. so you just remained closer than friends, and kept doing what you always did together.

that day, you were trying to do homework, but mingyu kept going through this pile of things under your desk. your mom made you clean up the storage closet, and you had found y/n relics that you wanted to keep. one of which mingyu was digging for.

“i’m telling you, it’s not in there,” you say for the millionth time, laughing when he bumps his head somewhere underneath your desk.

“ouch,” he whines, and you kick his butt to add to the pain. “ouch!”

“get up!” you whine back, pulling at his ankle. “even if you find my diary i’m not gonna let you read it.”

“yeah, but,” he says as he crawls out, “i am bigger and stronger than you, y/n.”

“so?”

“so i could throw you if i wanted.”

“then i’d tell your mom you’re being mean to me.”

“she knows you probably deserve it at this point in our relationship,” he mumbles. your ears warm at hearing him call this a relationship, but the way he’s not moving his right hand from under your desk is more important to you right now.

“whatcha got there?” you ask calmly.

“nothing,” he smiles the biggest grin you’ve ever seen.

“show me both your hands.”

“no.”

“mingyu!”

“y/n!”

“why do you even wanna see it,” you whine as you join him on the ground, trying to swipe for your diary in his hand. “it’s embarrassing.”

“i’m looking for something,” he says as he starts flipping through the pages of your pink velvet powerpuff girls diary. you laugh together over the many different ways you spelled diary as a child, until he stops on a page that makes you sick to your stomach.

it’s a picture. of you. and mingyu. on your wedding day. you’re in a big poofy dress and you’ve drawn mingyu with...a ponytail? and a bowtie bigger than his head. it’s clearly the two of you, because baby y/n took the courtesy of labeling you both for future historians (mingyu) to use against you. then down at the bottom, in horrible handwriting, are the words “me and gyu till the end of forever.”

after you’ve both taken a moment to stare at the page, you in disbelief and mingyu in complete adoration, he tears it right out.

“wha-”

“bye y/n,” he says, standing up and heading to your door.

“where are you going? give me that page back!” you shriek. you want to get up and take it from him, but he was right: he’s bigger and stronger than you, so that wouldn’t end well. you kick at his ankles instead, but he just folds the paper up and puts it in his pocket before making a face and leaving.

you didn’t think about that day, or that drawing, until just now. until mingyu said those words to you again. you watch in shock and admiration as he finds his wallet amongst his things and pulls out a small, folded piece of paper. he hands it to you, but you already know what it is. you rub it between your fingers, letting every moment that you’ve known mingyu, that you’ve been loved by mingyu, wash over you. you want to cry again. his love is so strong that it makes you feel the most intense emotions, but right now you just feel...content. you hand the paper back to him, and wave away the questioning look in his eyes.

“like i said, i’m sorry gyu,” you start out. “i’m sorry i ever doubted how much you loved me. i’m sorry i ever doubted how much i love you, too. it’s just scary. we’ve got so many big life things ahead of us, and i know i can’t do it without you by my side, but i don’t want our love to change. i always want you to be my playful, clumsy, perfect mingyu. and i just let my thoughts..and my pride..get in the way of that. so i’m sorry, lovebug.”

“lovebug?” he smiles, his whole face blushing at your favorite nickname for him resurfacing. he stares at you deeply, his hands itching in his lap to hold you again, and you think for a moment he’s going to kiss you. instead he lets out a breath and says, “i’m sorry too.”

“what do you have to be sorry for?” you laugh nervously.

“for ever letting you think for a second that i don’t love you as much as i do,” he replies. “i’ll work harder from now on.”

“no,” you say quietly, and you watch the confusion wash over mingyu’s features. “let me. i think it’s my turn to show you how much i love you. you’ve been doing it for years.”

“well if you insist,” he smiles shyly, eyes flicking down to your lips. you don’t have to nod for him to know it’s ok, and then he’s kissing you again. when you pull back, mingyu’s eyes are still closed, savoring the feeling of having your love all to himself again.

“cmon lovebug,” you whisper over his lips, “let’s go to bed.”

the next morning, you wake up sweating. your body amazingly forgot what it was like sleeping next to your mingyu shaped space heater, and it’s made worse by the fact that his arms have been tightly wrapped around you all night. you laugh when you wiggle and he pulls you closer, surprised that you can still breathe despite his tight grip. you get a hand free from his hold and try your old trick to get mingyu to unwrap you, lightly flicking his nose until he brings an arm up to swat you away.

you use this as a chance to slide out of bed, determined to make it to the kitchen to make good on your promise to mingyu last night. you want to show him how much you love him, and the first step to reminding him of that is to make his favorite breakfast. you think there’s enough ingredients in the kitchen, cheol packed groceries so you wouldn’t have to rely on take out all weekend. so you find one of mingyu’s sweaters and pull it over your pajamas before heading to the kitchen. you put your mingyu playlist on so you have some quiet background noise, careful not to wake jeonghan up in the next room. as you’re searching the spice cabinet, you feel a strong pair of arms wrap around your waist.

“why are you awake right now,” mingyu’s groggy voice whines into your neck. “come back to bed.”

“no,” you say simply. “i’m hungry. you can go back to bed and i’ll be there in a minute.”

“no,” mingyu replies. “miss you too much.”

“baby.”

“yes?”

“no, i’m calling you a baby,” you laugh, turning in mingyu’s arms once you find what you needed. “can you at least let go so i can cook?”

“what are you making?” he asks, loosening his grip but not letting go completely. you shuffle back to the kitchen island, mingyu coming with you, his hands still lightly on your waist.

“french toast,” you say shyly, feeling the warmth of mingyu’s smile without having to look at him.

“i love you, you know that?” he whispers into your ear, kissing your cheek quickly before he lets you go. you hear him shuffle to the sink, water running as he asks, “how can i help?”

“can you slice the bread for me?” you ask. “and warm the pan up.”

“yes chef!”

your giggles at mingyu’s behavior are what finally pull jeonghan out of his deep sleep, and he smirks when he sees you two moving happily around the kitchen together. he doesn’t want to ruin the moment so he just snaps a picture and texts it to cheol, hearing the man react with a cheer once the text goes through. jeonghan laughs and rolls back over, falling asleep to the sound of mingyu humming a song to you as the sweet smell of breakfast fills the house.

when it’s time for you all to head back home, mingyu offers to drive and the other two insist on you taking the front seat. mingyu starts planning who to drop off first, beginning with jeonghan, then cheol, then you.

“you’re dropping y/n off last, hm?” cheol says with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “starting the honeymoon already?”

“shut up,” you groan.

“yeah, shut up,” mingyu mimics you. “it just makes sense though, y/n’s place is closest to mine and i need to drive my own car home. so it works out.”

“sure,” cheol nods. “no ulterior motives.”

“really!” mingyu shrieks, his ears turning red so you know this is getting to him. “i mean, i want to see fred too, but-”

“babe, stop talking,” you say quietly, placing your hand on his in the center console. “you’re just egging him on.”

“please listen to her,” jeonghan grumbles, obviously trying to sleep.

“she called him babe though,” cheol whispers to jeonghan, and they start giggling like little girls.

“ok, now everybody stop talking!” you say, looking at the boys in the rearview mirror. “quiet game, starting now. first one to speak has to buy lunch.”

“and gas!” mingyu adds.

“hey, doesn’t that mean mingyu just lost?” cheol asks, and you shake your head. “but he spoke first!” you just stare harder. “you’re playing favorites.”

“no i’m not,” you reply. “game starts now.”

after mingyu drops jeonghan and cheol off (who bought mcdonald’s and filled mingyu’s gas tank), he finally takes you home. when he pulls up outside your building, he stalls awkwardly at the wheel, unsure of what to do with his hands. you watch in admiration, a smirk playing at your lips. when mingyu looks over to you at last, he smiles shyly.

“hey.”

“hey,” you laugh. “you gonna come in?”

“really?” he asks, whole face perking up.

“either come in with me or kiss me goodbye, it’s up to you-”

“what if i come in with you and we make out in your apartment?” he asks with a smile of his own.

“deal,” you smile, “let me just get my bags.”

“nope. i got em,” mingyu says as he rushes out of the car, running around the front so he can get to your door in time to open it for you. you start to protest, and mingyu’s response is, “complain and i won’t come in!”

“you’re a liar,” you laugh.

“maybe, but i’m still not letting you carry anything,” he says while you get your keys out. when you’re done you turn and see him staring at the bags in the back really hard.

“what are you doing? trying to solve a math problem?” you tease, and mingyu looks at you with a blush on his cheeks.

“um, no, sorry,” he shakes his head, pulling your things out of the back before reaching to close the trunk.

“you’re not bringing your stuff?” you ask nervously.

“you want me to?” he asks hopefully, and you nod. he smiles and grabs his bag too, hoisting everything onto one arm before joining you by the door. his sweaty hand reaches for yours, squeezing it tightly as you open the door.

you make the familiar walk back to your apartment, mingyu’s heart beating out of his chest the closer you get. he’s waited for this moment for weeks, coming back home with you. but that’s just it, he’s been racking his brain over what could’ve scared you into running away, and he finally figured it out on the ride here. right before you broke up with him, he started talking about moving in together. he hadn’t asked you yet, but he was planting the seeds for it, and that must have scared you off. now he’s worried that once he walks through the door, he’s won’t want to leave ever again. he just hopes this time you’re ready for him to stay.

when you get to your apartment, you try to shake mingyu’s hand out of yours so you can open the door, but he just whines and tells you to deal. laughing as you stumble into your place, mingyu looks around excitedly only for his face to fall.

“fred’s not here,” he says with a growing pout.

“nope,” you shake your head. “he’s at my mom’s because i was gone for the weekend. sorry i didn’t tell you.”

“you tricked me,” mingyu says accusingly as he places the bags on his arm on your kitchen table.

“yeah, well,” you shrug. “you would’ve come up anyway.”

“how is your mom, by the way?” he asks as he walks toward you “missing his favorite person?”

“hm, no?” you reply. “she actually said you were stinky and she never liked you.”

“she did not,” he says with a smile, snaking his arms around your waist. “tell her i say hi.”

“and mrs. kim?” you ask as you drape your arms across his broad shoulders.

“she’s good,” he nods. “thrilled that you didn’t give up on me. i got chewed out after the break, by the way, so thanks for that.”

“you’re welcome,” you tease, kissing his chin. mingyu smiles without letting it reach his eyes, and he takes a deep breath.

“speaking of,” he starts cautiously. “the..break up.”

“the bad time, yes,” you nod. “have i said i’m sorry about that today?”

“can we..talk about it a little more?” mingyu asks, and your heart clenches. “if you don’t want to, that’s fine, i just...have questions before we go back to being us.”

“go ahead,” you encourage him. “do you wanna sit down?”

“no,” he shakes his head. “i’m good right here,” he says, squeezing your hips. “i just need to know what made you freak. was i coming on too strong with the moving in thing?”

“the what?” you ask, obviously confused.

“baby, i’ve been dropping hints since new year’s about moving in together,” he laughs. “you didn’t notice?”

“no?” you cry out. “why didn’t you just ask me?”

“i was scared!” he cries back. “why did you break up with me?”

“i was scared,” you joke in return. “i had no clue you wanted to move in with me.”

“well, i did,” he sighs. “i already have an extra key for you.”

“really?” you smile. he nods, and you lean your head on his shoulder as you reply. “you know my lease is up next month.”

“is it?” he replies, leaning his cheek on your forehead. “how convenient. i’ll make room in the closet then.”

“cool,” you smile, comfortably floating at the idea of living with mingyu. when mingyu clears his throat above you, you know what he wants. you pull him over to the couch as you say, “i know. i’ll explain.”

“kiss me first?” he asks, and you think about it.

“just one,” you say with a stern finger in his face, mingyu bites it, and then with your finger between his teeth he says, “no promises.” you pull away from him just for mingyu to reach back and cup your face, pulling you softly toward his lips. as soon as your lips meet you melt into him, his arms grabbing you so you’re sitting on his lap. “hey,” you say into his mouth, mingyu trying to kiss you deeper. “hey!” you giggle, pulling back. “i said one.”

“and i said no promises,” mingyu replies. “now cmere.”

“no,” you laugh, holding him at bay. “we need to talk.”

“i’m listening,” he says, playing with your hair.

“i was serious before when i said i was scared,” you start out. “but no, the move in thing wasn’t what scared me. i was, uh, i was out to lunch, with some of my friends, and one of them just got engaged-”

“who?”

“mingyu,” you whine. he mumbles out a sorry and let’s go of your hair, placing his hands on your hips. “she just got engaged, and we started talking about..wedding..stuff, and then the girls all turned to me.”

“oh?” mingyu asks with a smirk.

“yeah,” you nod. “and um, that freaked me out. they started asking why we hadn’t..weren’t..um, whatever. they started asking me questions, and i didn’t know what to tell them, and that just made me go down a very dark hole.”

“how dark?” mingyu asks with concern laced through his voice.

“dark like, what if you didn’t want to marry me? what if we got married and everything went bad? what if-”

“and you never thought to talk to me about it?” mingyu cuts you off.

“did i mention how sorry i am?” you try sheepishly. “that was the big life stuff i mentioned the other night. moving in, getting engaged. starting the rest of forever together. that’s scary stuff, and i forgot how easy you make things. i just got scared of the concept, i guess, and didn’t consider how you make everything feel okay.”

“i do?”

“yeah,” you nod. “you’ve made my life so wonderful, gyu. even though everything ahead of us scares the shit out of me, i can’t wait to do it all with you.”

“let’s wait on all the scary stuff,” he says, grabbing your hands to play with your fingers as he speaks. “we’ll take it step by step. starting with moving in together?”

“starting with that,” you agree. “i love you, kim mingyu.”

“i love you too baby.”

#kim mingyu #seventeen #kim mingyu fluff #kim mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #mingyu angst #kim mingyu one shot #kim mingyu fic #kim mingyu x reader #mingyu x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fic #seventeen one shot #mingyu one shot

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angelic-sturniolos111 · 4 months

Text

Some Privacy 🌌 pt. 1

You’ve been staying with the triplets in LA for a few weeks and are growing incredibly sexually frustrated being in Matt’s presence all the time. A late-night hot-tub sesh between the two of you reveals all…

matthew sturniolo x fem! reader

warnings: smut in future parts 🤭, mentions of rape, lots of sexual tensionnnnn

author’s note: quite possibly my best work to date tbh had to make it into parts

future parts will be linked here =>

Y/N’s POV:

The triplets, close friends of mind, were kind enough to let me stay with them in LA for a few weeks while I had off from school while I work remote. They’ve showed me all around LA and we’ve spent a lot of time together having fun and making content for their YouTube channel. Everything has been great, and I really have no reason to complain, except for one thing…

I’m horny as fuck.

Normally, my libido is a little above average I’d say, but there’s one major contributing factor to my frustration.

Matt Sturniolo.

I’ve always had a crush on him since we’ve met though I’d never act on my feelings in fear that he’d reject me. Aside from my feelings for him he is absolutely, incredibly, insanely hot. I can never get my eyes off of him when we’re in a room together. The way his stubble perfectly contours his jaw, his big veiny hands, the tattooed, everything. Though he wasn’t just a looker, he’s also one of the sweetest kindest people I’ve ever met— which is why I can’t risk losing him as a friend.

I’d typically handle my current situation on my own. The problem is, I’m sleeping on the triplets couch in the living room. Knowing those night owls, anyone could enter the room at any given moment, and I can’t risk getting caught. Not only that, but we’re always together and not once have I had the house to myself or any moment of privacy since being here.

I’m laying on the couch seriously debating on whether or not I should touch myself, but then my mind wandered to the thought of Matt possibly catching me in the act. The thought of Matt watching me touch myself made my situation worse as the heat built up between my legs and my heartbeat got that much faster.

“Ugh— fuck this.” I said to myself. I got up off the couch and grabbed some of my workout clothes to change in the bathroom. Then I went back into the living room by the front door and sat down to put on and tie my sneakers. The only other way I could let this frustration out would be to go for a run, and that’s just what I planned to do until I hear a door creak open.

I see Matt stepping out of his bedroom, clad in sweatpants and a t-shirt, rubbing his eyes as if he’d just woken up.

“Hey, I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“Nah, I was kinda already awake and I thought I heard you— wait, what are you doing? Where are you going?” He questions once he sees me dressed and tying my shoes, ready to head out the door.

“I’m going for a run.”

“Ummm no you’re not.” He says in a serious tone.

“Ummm yes, I am.” I reply in the same tone.

“Y/N, I’m not letting you go for a run alone this late at night.”

“I’ll be fine Matt,” I say as I stand up and start grabbing my bag and water bottle. He roughly grabs my wrist and stops me forcing me to look up at him.

“NO you are not going! You’ll get kidnapped, or raped, or something… I am not letting you leave this house.” He said sternly. I sighed, staring up at the ceiling in surrender.

“Why do you want to run this late anyways?” Matt says letting go of my wrist and leaning against the kitchen counter. I pause thinking of how to answer.

“I’m just… stressed.” I half-lied.

“How come?”

“It’s ummm— it’s complicated. I’m just really stressed and needed to hash it out somehow so I could relax and go to sleep.” Matt nods his head in response, and though the room is dimly lit I can still see the concern behind his blue eyes.

“How about I go get the hot tub heated up and we can relax in there together, okay?” The hot tub? Alone, with Matt? Before I could protest he speaks up, “C’mon, go put a bathing suit on and I’ll meet you out there, k?” Matt says assuredly. I sigh, turning back to the living room to get a bathing suit out of my suitcase and change again.

*****

I push open the sliding glass door to see Matt already in the bubbling, steaming hot tub. He's in his bathing suit, shirtless, the front strands of hair gently clinging to his forehead from the steam, soft blue light of the hot tub illuminating his face… Fuck. In no way was this helping my sexual frustration.

I saunter over to the tub and step in letting the hot water consume me. The pulsing jets hitting all the right spots on my lower back and shoulders. I inhale deeply feeling the humid steam fill my nostrils. I exhale letting my head fall back onto the side of the tub.

"Feels good?" Matt asks. My heart skips a beat at his question as I imagine him saying it to me under different circumstances, and for the filthiest of reasons.

"Mhmm." I hum in reply, not dropping my head back to look at him because I know that would just drive me up a wall.

I stayed in this position for a while, head back and eyes closed as I try and focus on the soothing sensation the hot tub is giving me while also trying not to bring my attention to Matt knowing that would only make my situation worse.

"Why are you stressed? What's on your mind?" Matt asks bringing me back to reality after zoning out. I reluctantly drop my head back down and open my eyes to meet his. Big mistake. The steam had collected on his skin causing small beads of water to fall down his chest into the tub. His arms were outstretched against the walls of the tub, and his legs part wide open as he laid his back against the tub wall. Despite being submerged underwater I could feel my core getting increasingly wet.

"I told you it's complicated, and it's personal…" I reply shyly.

"Awe c'mon Y/N, you can tell me. You know Nick nor Chris can have mature conversations about our feelings like I can." I sigh. He's right. I've always been able to talk freely and openly with Matt about my problems, my anxiety, and he opens up to me about the same things.

"I've been very… frustrated recently." I say hesitantly, looking at the blue bubbling water to avoid eye contact.

"How come? Is being in the house with us too much? I know we can be a lot sometimes so if you want to go home that's totally fine, we'll understand." He says genuinely. My lips curl into a smile huffing out a light laugh at his cute assumption.

"No! No that's not it at all. I love being here with you three." I say bringing my eyes up to find Matt's already looking deeply into mine. He raises his brows slightly and tilts his head indicating for me to continue. "I've been," God, was I really about to tell him this?

"I've been sexually frustrated. Extremely." I say, not breaking eye contact. Everything inside of me is vibrating and I feel like sinking down into the tub and drowning myself in it.

Matt's eyes widen slightly as his mouth gently parts. "Oh…" he said softly as that was all he managed to get out. He dropped his arms into his lap and stared at the water looking deep in thought. We both didn't speak, only for a moment, but the silence made time feel like it was dragging out forever.

"Why, then… Have you— have you touched yourself at all?" Matt stutters out. I can sense he's just as nervous as I am to have this conversation, but I also can tell that there is genuine concern laced in his voice.

"No. Trust me, I've wanted to. I’ve been sleeping on the couch in the living room, so I haven’t. You and your brothers are up at all hours of the night, and one of you has come into the kitchen for a late-night snack, or come to the living room to see if I was awake to chat or film. So I feel like I just haven’t had enough privacy to do so— that’s all.”

Matt and I have had many deep conversations before, and I am always super honest with him because he makes me feel safe and comfortable. But right now, I’ve never felt so vulnerable in front of him.

“Mmm.” He hums, his eyes darting away from mine.

A few moments of slightly uncomfortable silence pass before he pushes himself off the hot tub wall and slowly makes his way over to me. Our eyes lock again, but his are different this time, darker.

“We have some privacy now.” Matt says in a low, deep tone.

We? My breath hitches in my throat.

Suddenly, everything in the atmosphere changed. We deeply stared into each other’s eyes. Our stare was one where we both didn’t have to speak, and the silence felt comfortable. His stare quieted the millions of thoughts racing in my head until I was only focused on him and how my body called for him. I no longer felt vulnerable. I felt stronger. Confident.

I could see in his eyes that he was thinking the same thing I was, and his blown out pupils told me he wanted it just as badly…

**********

taglist:

@flowerxbunnie @delimeats-000 @daddyslilchickenfingers @sturniolosluvv @lovingmattysposts @lustfulslxt @sturnioloskies @recklesssturniolo @strniohoeee @apclyptc @strawberrysturniolo @hoesformatt @luv4kozume

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo

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muniimyg · 6 months

Text

2.5: stfu 》 series m.list

note: my friends 🤭 how are we? this ch is jus fluff & rlly jus out here to give insight w their dynamic as friends !!! hope u enj 💛

taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “c2u” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main

fic taglist: @mint--yoongs @ellesalazar @bloopkook

Jungkook is a dick.

Okay, he isn’t exactly a sly bitch-ass motherfucker… He’s just a little miscommunicative, a little forgetful, and a little annoying sometimes… Let’s just say he’s lucky he’s hot.

“I thought you wanted to make out,” you half-heartedly complain as he finally notices you for the first time tonight. He chuckles before settling beside you. Your body itches for him to be closer. Instead, he keeps a friendly seating distance. “How did we end up here?”

Let’s set the scene.

You two are in a karaoke room with your friends. The boys are belting out their sad love songs while your best friend, Yuna, continues to down as many drinks as possible. Currently, she’s celebrating being ghosted, and this karaoke session was actually her doing.

Yuna has been your friend since the beginning of time. With that being said: you two are complete opposites. She likes surprises and showing up… You like planning and ditching. She has her fair share of passionate flings and you have your fair share of boring boyfriends. It’s truly a work of balance between you two. Regardless, you love her with your entire heart and can’t wait for her to meet better men. On the other hand, Yuna holds a flaw that sickens you to your very core. Since the first day Taehyung introduced you and her to Jungkook, she has not shut up about how cute of a couple you two would make.

Aside from that, Yuna is chill. Your friendship with her is completely low maintenance. It’s hard to feel offended when you’ve always known she’s been closer to Taehyung. They’re the best of friends. Naturally, she texted Taehyung the ground-breaking news and he quickly got to work. He called all the boys up and then they all headed to Jungkook’s. Unfortunately, they beat you there and Jungkook didn’t have enough time to text you a warning. As you stood outside his door, you quickly caught on and pretended like Jungkook had communicated the plans with you.

To be honest, it’s not like you needed Jungkook tonight. If anything, it was him who wanted to see you so bad… But you can’t help but feel irritated that the night turned out like this.

It feels a little weird.

You know you can touch him. That’s allowed, right? You two are friends and harmless physical affection is okay! It’s like, you know you reach over and touch his hand; he would hold it. You know he would.. So why isn’t he?

It’s too early for you to swallow your pride.. However, that doesn’t stop you from having needs.

He should make the first move.

“I mean,” he takes a quick sip of his drink, “I’m a little shy… Oh! Idea… How about you kiss me first and I promise to kiss you back.”

You glare at him, shoulders dropping at his answer. Like always, he’s being a piece of shit. Swiftly, you take the drink from his hand and chug the rest of it down. When you finish, you hand him the empty glass and as you’re about to say something—he reaches over and wipes the top of your lip.

You sit still and take in this moment. He’s slightly leaning in and his eyes are on your lips. Surely, he’ll fold, right? You want him to.

When he pulls away, he puts his glass down. “I’m right here. You gonna do it or not?”

“We’re literally at a fucking karaoke room with our friends, Jungkook.”

“So?”

“I’m not exposing myself this early on!” you whisper-shout.

He snickers. “And just how long is this supposed to last? Are we gonna be a secret forever?”

You shrug, having no answer for him. “This is stupid. You’re the one who asked—begged—me to come over and make out with you. You said you wanted to kiss my lips and my—”

“I know what I said,” Jungkook chides. “I meant what I said. Nothing changed.”

You poke his chest and repeat yourself. “We’re in a karaoke room with our fucking friends.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I had no choice! Blame Yuna!”

You gasp. “I would never!”

His shoulders slump, feeling defeated. “___, what do you want me to do? Fuck you in the bathroom—”

Your eyes widen at his blunt words. Quickly, you cover his mouth with your hand. He licks it in response and you groan in disgust. “You’re disgusting!”

“Pay back for spitting back at me the other night.”

Your eyes dart at him. He laughs and puts his hands up in defeat. “Relax. They aren’t listening to us.”

As you wipe your wet hand on his shirt, you take his word for it. Then, you move away from him and cross your arms in frustration. Jungkook playfully inches closer, murmuring apologies. You shake your head, pout, and turn the other way.

Jungkook feels stuck.

Was he really in the wrong? Did he go too far? Did anyone even hear? You’re just so uptight sometimes… It wouldn’t hurt to laugh, right?

That’s exactly what he figures to do.

Jungkook calls over the mic and stands up to sing. Everyone calms down and gives him their undivided attention.

“Uh,” Jungkook begins, “This is for Yuna!”

“No thanks!” Yuna rejects, raising a shot at him. She drinks it in one go and giggles. Jungkook winks, turning his attention to you. You cover your eyes with your hands and ignore the rest of the boys' cheers.

“If I were your boyfriend, I’d never let you go. I can take you places you ain’t never been before. Baby take a chance or you’ll never know. I got money in my hands that I’d really like to blow… Swag, swag, swag on you,” Jungkook sings cheekily. He takes his time, doing body rolls, and makes his performance much more dramatic with the help of Jimin and Nam Joon.

Suddenly, the boys all join in.

They turn Jungkook’s special number into the performance of the night. They hype each other up and even create a choreo. Towards the end, Jungkook kneels in front of you and serenades the last few lyrics; “if I was your boyfriend, never let you go. Keep you in arm girl, you’d never be alone. If I was your boyfriend, I can be a gentleman, anything you want… If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go. I’d never let you go. So give me a chance, 'cause you're all I need girl. Spend a week with your boy I'll be calling you my girlfriend. If I was your man, I'd never leave you girl… I just want to love you, and treat you right.”

When the song comes to a complete end, the sound of the guy's laughter fills the room. Jungkook stays on his knees, making a pouty face.

“Still mad?”

You give him a cold shoulder. “Dunno.”

Jungkook laughs, catching himself as he begins to lean in. Yuna awkwardly clears her throat. You shoot her a glare and she sticks her tongue out at you two.

“Jungkook…” she warns. “You’re not allowed to have ___!”

He snickers at her. “Fine with me! I don’t want her.”

Yuna waves her finger at Jungkook, lowering her gaze at him. She isn’t convinced with his words. “Listen you motherfucker… You touch her and I’ll ruin your life.”

Jungkook laughs coyly before turning to you. He wrinkles his nose and shrugs, “guess this is the beginning of my end.”

“Guess it is,” you purse your lips. “Too bad.”

“Too bad?” Jungkook scoffs, “if you’re my end; then so be it. Nothing more beautiful than you.”

You make a sour face at him before throwing the karaoke book his way. He dodges it and sticks his middle finger out at you. Then, he returns to his boys and joins them in song. From the corner of your eye, you see Yuna giving you a look. She mouths out, “anything to confess?”

You shake your head and roll your eyes at her.

Confess? What is there to confess? Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

By the grace of God, Taehyung was able to get Yuna to stop drinking. However, by the time Taehyung suggested to do so… She was no longer able to walk on her own. The karaoke session ends and everyone is either tipsy or helping Taehyung take care of Yuna.

“Should I walk you home?”

You sit up and take your phone out. Swiping it open, you don’t bother to look at him when you answer. “I can Uber.”

Jungkook then snatches your phone and holds it above his head. There’s a lazy smirk on his face you want to slap off. “You’re not Ubering home alone and tipsy.”

“Walking home with you isn’t any better.”

In all honesty, Jungkook is tipsy too. He chugged a few beers last minute and took Yuna’s remaining shots. Yet, it’s clear that he’s sober enough to take care of himself. One thing you’ve only recently started to notice about Jungkook is that he’s a grumpy, sad, and needy drunk. Maybe the grumpy part is more prominent in the tipsy portion.

He offers a sarcastic laugh before frowning. “Shut the fuck up and get your shit. Let’s go. I’m tired.”

“Then go home—”

“Don’t be difficult,” he begs. “Just let me do this.”

The walk home is rather quiet.

Aside from Jungkook’s lame attempts to ask you about your classes and work schedule, there’s not much to talk about. You answer him politely, feeling a little relieved that his little attitude is melting away. Slowly but surely, he was sobering up.

To keep the conversation going, you ask him about the boys and what it’s like now that he moved out with Taehyung and Jimin. He answers truthfully, stating that the living situation is neater than he expected and that he misses the dynamic with everyone around during late nights. Sure the two boys kept him company and the aspect of privacy was nice, but he can’t help but miss the chaos.

As he speaks and as you walk side by side with him—it still feels weird. It’s that same weird feeling you felt in the karaoke room.

Your fingertips have brushed against each other for the nth time tonight. Was it the drinks you downed or are you actually feeling a little annoyed he didn’t even try to hold your hand tonight? And how did we get here?

It’s your front door.

… Is this it? Is it really just goodnight and go?

“Do you think Taehyung is secretly in love with Yuna?” Jungkook blurts with a cheeky grin on his face. “He’s all she talks about and vice versa. She always comes over and they just sit and talk and laugh like they’re the only two people in the world.”

You pause and think about it. “They’ve always been close.”

“Not like this,” he advocates. “They’re… Happier?”

“She’s still hung up on that guy that ghosted her… Maybe good company is just good company, you know? It doesn’t always have to mean or lead to a new love interest.”

Jungkook tilts his head. “Is that how you feel too?”

“What do you mean?”

He bites his tongue. “Never mind.”

“... Okay?” you respond awkwardly. You turn away and dig through your bag for your key. “Thanks for walking me home, I guess? Goodnight.”

Jungkook sighs loudly. “Can you at least look at me and pretend like you care if I get home safe or not?”

“But I’d be lying!” you laugh, finally finding your keys. You stick it in and turn the nob. Suddenly, you feel his hand grab your wrist. With one tug, your body turns to face him. He smiles sweetly as you frown at him.

“Dream of me,” he teases, taking a step closer to you. Closing in the space between, he dips his head low and lowers his gaze to your lips.

“That’s just mean,” you whine. “Why would you want me to have nightmares?”

He glares at you. “Ha. Ha. Not funny.”

“It was pretty funny.”

Jungkook huffs, “no, it hurt my feelings actually.”

“Not my problem,” you snark back.

“You’re always my problem.”

“You’re annoying as fuck—”

“Oh my god,” Jungkook stresses. “Just let me kiss you goodnight, woman!”

Before you can answer, he crashes his lips against yours and kisses you. He does it deeply like he’s been waiting to kiss you all night. When you pull away for a breath, he continues to give you little kisses. You laugh and playfully push his face away from yours.

He pouts and demands, “kiss me lots, ___.”

You can’t even deny him. In this very moment, he is the most precious thing in the world. You let him kiss you once more before squishing his cheeks together. You give him a peck before saying goodnight for the last time.

“Get home safe, pookie.”

“Arghh,” Jungkook curls his hand into a fist and hits the left side of his chest. “I knew you’d care.”

He wishes to never forget the way his heart flutter at this very moment… And as much as you hate to admit it—your heart flutters too.

#bts smau #bts fic #bts x yn #jk x yn #jk fwb #bts friends with benefits #jungkook friends with benefits #jk smau #jk friends to lovers #bts f2l #jk fic #jk scenario #jk imagine

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seeingivy · 1 month

Text

the lore

sukuna x f!reader

**part of my best friend's (older brother) sukuna fic

previous part linked here

AN: tw/ mentions of SA and manipulation. please read at your own discretion - protect your own peace!!!

“okay, well. it was back when-” you start.

sukuna reaches forward and pinches the bridge of your nose.

“are you a nutjob?”

you frown.

“huh?”

sukuna drops his hands from your face, resting them against your waist before he uses them to spin you around. he’s walking behind you, leading your steps to the bedroom and whispering into your neck.

“c’mon. we’ll wash up for bed and then talk. want you to be comfortable and all that, we’re not gonna have a serious conversation in the fucking kitchen.” sukuna murmurs.

you smile, letting his attentive hands lead you to the bathroom as he busies himself with doing nearly everything for you. pulling the clips out of your hair and placing the headband just right to pull your hair back, putting toothpaste on both of your brushes, and busying himself with doing your skincare.

his fingers are soft on your cheeks, the slight tautness of his fingertips massaging the terse of your cheek.

and you can’t help but stare at him. at the arch of his eyebrows, his eyes attentively focused on the task, and how slowly he’s breathing – in full focus.

“quit staring. you're freaking me out with your bug eyes.” sukuna murmurs.

you smile.

“you’re a big acts of service guy.” you state.

“eh?”

“acts of service! it’s a love language.”

sukuna glares at you.

“love language? where the fuck do you come up with this shit?”

you hum in response.

“it’s a book – you can even take a quiz to see which of the five is yours. it’s how you show love, how you like to receive it. and yours is acts of service.”

sukuna rolls his eyes.

“is not.”

“yeah, it is! you always like to do stuff for me. like when you washed all my clothes. took the train back to the apartment for me, making me breakfast. you like to do things for me!”

“you’re my girlfriend. i’m not a fucking asshole that’s going to let you take the train alone at night.”

you roll your eyes.

“but the breakfast.”

“you know, i’m quite attached to my security deposit. can’t exactly have you burning my apartment down every morning.” sukuna complains.

you frown.

“still. you like to do things for me. that’s how you show your love.”

the serum he spreads under your eyes cools your skin, as you instinctively shut your eyes and welcome the tiny sting.

“what’s yours?”

“quality time! and words of affirmation.”

sukuna pauses.

“sounds about right. you’re always lurking around here, like a troll.”

you open your eyes and give him a grin.

“i’ll just be on my way out then.” you state, stepping out of the bathroom.

but sukuna’s too quick with it, wrapping his hands around your waist and resting his chin on top of your head. he tickles at your sides, as you try to squirm out of his touch and smack his arms.

“when did i tell you to leave, huh?”

“quit tickling, i’m-”

“you leave when i tell you to leave.” sukuna states.

sukuna’s tickling subsides, as you heave and turn around to glare at him. sukuna’s delighted at the pink flush in your cheeks, coupled with the murderous glare you’re giving him.

“if you had your way, i’d never leave.” you state.

sukuna leans forward, lips brushing against yours and nose ghosting your skin.

“something wrong with that, huh? is it a crime to want you all to myself?” sukuna whispers.

it’s enough to send an electrifying jolt down to your core, as you look up at his brown eyes – honeyed over with sweetness. you reach forward and cup his cheek.

“no.” you whisper.

sukuna presses a kiss to the top of your head, before locking his hand in with yours and dragging you out. and you both turn around, quickly discarding your dress clothes for your pajamas and settle under the sheets, tangling your legs together, as you rest your head against his bare shoulder – twisting the little charm on his necklace between your fingers.

sukuna’s hands are in your hair, massaging into your temples as you push your cheek harder into the warmth of his shoulder.

“sometimes it’s hard to explain how things were when they…build up over time. when i try to explain it…it all seems so trivial but i-”

“none of this is going to sound trivial to me.” sukuna clarifies.

you smile.

“i know. i just mean, it’ll sound…stupid. petty stuff at first but it–”

“acknowledging that someone treated you so far from what you deserve is never going to be stupid to me.”

the bluntness is enough to catch you off guard. you give him a meek nod, feeling your cheeks head up as you try to remember the order of events, how things escalated so far, and it’s almost like the damper of it all is back in your brain.

sometimes remembering feels like an oversaturated filter. that if you recollect your memories, that underlying feeling of the memories casts over your entire head, that it sucks out your energy even though nothing is really happening – even though you’re far from him and from being treated like that again.

“no one liked me when i was in middle school.” you state.

sukuna fights the urge to correct you. to tell you all about the camping bag, about how he thought about it for years, even mentioning it at his big age of twenty one to all of his coworkers. but he refrains.

“maybe some part of me internalized that. but i’d watch as people all around me would…would have these guys interested in them. and sometimes i’d try to copy them. i’d want the same jewelry, like the same movies…try to change my hair so i’d look like them.”

sukuna presses a kiss to your hair. you get the message and shoot him a halfhearted smile.

“when i went to highschool…i was really hyper aware of what other people wore. talked about, when it came to guys. and sometimes it would really frustrate me – how stupid, how fucking petty people would be in relationships.” you start.

“i would have killed to be in their position, sukuna. that if i got to love someone, if…if i could get someone to like me back, i would have done it so right. i’d buy them gifts, i’d tell them i love them, i would never talk to other guys because they were all i wanted.” you finish.

how adamant you were being about sucking his dick an hour ago suddenly makes plain, clear sense to sukuna – confirming his hunch entirely. that you’d do anything to make him happy, and while it’s a noble quality, a part of him knows where this is going – and the fact that someone took advantage of it, such a deep earnestness to love, to please, fills him with an insurmountable amount of disgust.

“when i was in my sophomore year of highschool, i had a crush on this guy named parker.” you state.

“with your weird inappropriate english teacher, i remember.”

you smile.

“yeah. i feel like it was one of those…those cosmic connection type things. where you see someone and you just know you like them. he was doing role on the first day and…and i don’t know what it is but i just found myself being drawn to him. i couldn’t help but stare – at how he smiled at his friends, waved at other people in the class.”

you cringe.

“fuck. i’m sorry. i shouldn’t be talking about other guys like that when–”

sukuna shakes his head, dismissively.

“i want to know the whole story. if this is a part of it, if this is what’s truthful for you, then that’s okay. granted, i already have a leg up on this parker idiot – you’re in my bed, tangled up in my arms right now. not his.”

you smile.

“you jealous?”

“of some pipsqueak little fifteen year old who didn’t see your worth? absolutely not. and we’re the ones with the real cosmic connection, so i’ll live.” sukuna deadpans.

“we have a cosmic connection?” you ask.

“of course. you think i let yuuji play my video games when i was six? i only let you guys play, the first time we met because you were there. i was fully intent on hanging him upside down from his legs but…decided against it.”

you smile, pressing a kiss into the muscle of his shoulder. it takes a second – to reach your train of thought again – and sukuna affords you the time to think, twirling the ends of your hair in his fingers.

“the year after that, i ended up in this big friend group of people, with guys, which i had never had before. it was originally a big group for a school dance, but…we just ended up hanging out after that. and when we all started hanging out as a group, i realized that my best friend and parker would…talk a lot. we’d go on picnics and they’d be trailing behind the group – and i’d never really found myself fitting in with any of them.” you state.

you pause.

“i’m really boring, sukuna. i mean, i know that i’m not boring, that drinking and smoking and going to parties or whatever doesn’t make you cool – but at that time, i felt boring. they’d all smoke and i’d shake them off, they’d all dress a certain type of way and i wouldn’t. and…and it was like everyone knew it too.”

“we’d play these games of truth or dare. and i’d always do dare, just to…get sometime tame. like writing something in marker on the wall.”

sukuna’s eyes widen.

“how is vandalism tame?”

“erasable markers. and compared to everyone else’s dares – to kiss each other on the neck, to wear each other’s clothes or…or take their own clothes off. i’m glad they never asked me to do that stuff, because they knew i wouldn’t or…or i couldn’t…but. made me feel like a sore thumb sometimes.”

you swallow hard.

“there was this guy in the group. his name was mazzy.”

“prick name.” sukuna states.

you laugh.

“you’re funny.”

“what was funny about that? objectively, that is such a prick name. i want him dead.”

you can’t help but look up at him, his angry brown eyes looking down at yours. and slowly but surely, he breaks out into a smile, rubbing into the little smile lines by your eyes.

“i love how i just wished death on another person and you’re smiling at me like i’m the sun.” sukuna states.

you laugh in response, as you rest your head back against his shoulder and trace stars into your shoulder.

and there’s a searing regret when you recall that what comes next was the catalyst for everything that happened – that a seemingly harmless move caused you some of the deepest, gutting pain of your life.

“i sent him a tiktok, based on this inside joke that the entire group had about him. individually, in a chat with just me and him. and after that…we just started talking. everyday, about lots of different things.”

you swallow hard.

“about him, a lot. he’d tell me all about…the girls he liked, what he liked about them. it was always objectifying. and…sometimes he’d make these comments after i asked why he told me. i was…trying to hint that he thought i was really trustworthy, or that we were friends but-”

you frown.

“he’d always say it’s because i’m not a real girl.”

“what?” sukuna asks.

you can feel hot tears in your eyes, remembering the biting sting of being told that in the early hours of the morning, when you’d sacrifice your sleep to hear what he had to say.

“i wasn’t a real girl.” you whisper.

sukuna reaches forward, swiping the lone tear spilling from your eye, his demeanor washed over in concern, in contempt.

“he…he wasn’t a good guy. so, just…don’t judge me for not saying anything about it or the comments he made and-”

“you were sixteen. keep going.” sukuna whispers.

the recognition, or the mere acknowledgement, that sukuna wasn’t going to accost you for not doing the right thing is enough to make your chest ache. because now, at twenty-two, the comments he made – slight jabs at the expense of others – they disgust you.

and sometimes it disgusted you that you had put up with it, that you had brushed it aside, just so that you wouldn’t have to be alone. that you were that desperate for it.

“when i asked what he meant, he said it again. that i don’t count as a real girl, that…which is why he can tell me about how hot other girls are, how horny he is for them all the time. and i know – trust me, i know how fucked up it was of him to say that, of me to not correct him – but…i guess i just internalized it instead. that he had put words to the feeling i had. that i didn’t get dares like the other girls did, that other guys weren’t interested in me, because…”

there’s a block lodged in your throat, vision blurry.

“because i’m not a real girl. i’m not pretty, and i wasn’t smart and – why would someone ever consider me…why did i delude myself into thinking it could be different?”

sukuna’s insurmountable rage is displaced now, from this faceless asshat, to everyone else. to idiots like naobito – who was going to get another beating from him – to yuuji and kugisaki’s seemingly harmless comments, even down to your mother who had affirmed this feeling to you. hundreds of times over.

but he realizes that it's because they don't know. and makes every intention to stop them, in the most discrete way he can.

“a year after that, he started talking to me about more personal stuff. about his parents, how he thought his sister hated him. and i’d always listen – i’d always affirm him that i thought he was great, and that point, i had started liking him…and i’d do anything to make him feel good.” you state.

you bite into your cheek.

“there was this day where he was talking about his parents, about how he felt so frustrated hiding it, and i…i told him that it wasn’t just him who felt like that, that lots of people did. like me. and it was almost like he had flipped a switch – because we went from talking about him to him…wanting to know everything about me.”

sukuna absentmindedly tucks your hair behind your ear, the thoughts floating around his head. that at that time, it must have meant the world to you. that now, you were one of those people. that someone wanted to talk to you, to know about you too.

but it leaves him with a sour taste in his mouth. because it almost feels exploitative to him, that this asshat had talked to you for a year at this point, and had only now thought to ask about you. after you had played therapist for a year.

and the thought of you spilling out your secrets – about your dad, about sammy – just to have it turn around on you alter makes him understand that little concrete wall. and thanks the lords that he was there, a house across from you his entire life.

the regret that sukuna left is deeper. because sukuna couldn’t have prevented it – any of it – but the thought of you suffering alone made his stomach hurt. that he could have at least been here.

“where was yuuji?” sukuna asks.

“you know…no one really knew that we talked. yuuji included. it was almost late into the night and…and when we first got together, we didn’t tell anyone for months. it wasn’t going to be a good idea, because of a fight we had before we were dating, where he called me a bitch in front of everyone and-”

“he called you a bitch?”

“yeah. it was this dumb thing, group plans that i had made that were kind of spontaneous from this volunteering thing. some people felt left out, and…and i had even invited him because he wasn’t there…but later…when it all kind of blew up in my face, he called me a bitch and everyone was just confused as to why we were friends after that. left a bad taste in people’s mouths.”

“why didn’t it? for you?” sukuna whispers.

“he was really good at being apologetic. and if someone was being earnest, i was always going to forgive.” you murmur.

sukuna frowns.

“always loved that about you. that you saw good, even if there wasn’t any.”

you smile.

“yeah. came to bite me in the butt later but…i’m getting ahead of myself.”

sukuna nods, hand warm around your neck, as he pulls you closer.

“when we met up for the first time, we wrote each other these letters. mine was four pages – about all the things i liked about him, memories that i cherished. and he wrote me one too, but…”

you pause.

“it was nice. there was stuff in there that was nice. but..he ended it with some joke about how he wanted to hit it from behind.”

sukuna watches the disgust spread over your face, as you shake your head like you’re trying to get it off of you.

“he also tried to kiss me that day. but i dodged it. he did grab my butt though, which…i don’t know. guess i wasn’t expecting, but maybe should have in hindsight. he had asked me to wear these leggings and this form fitting shirt…”

sukuna tries to think back to the first time the two of you kissed – to see if there were any inclinations of you pulling away. but he remembers it vividly, the way he pulled you into his lap in your bedroom, pressing kisses into your neck while you were begging him to kiss you full on.

it makes him happy.

but it disgusts him, the second part. that he had dictated what you were going to wear, that he had run his hands over you without asking for permission. and it reminds him of that day, where you were purposely trying to dress to impress him, and thanks the heavens he trusted his instincts and asked you to change.

“the second time, i mustered the courage to kiss him back when he leaned in. and he was kind of…aggressive with it. a lot of the things he did were that way, kind of a lot. i’m more into…the softer things i guess but –”

“i love that.” sukuna states.

you smile.

“yeah?”

“i’m not a fan of that – the aggressiveness.”

sukuna brings his fingertips to your face, thumb brushing down from the bridge to the end of your nose.

“i like to savor it. keep it slow, so…so i can feel it all. commit you to my memory.” sukuna whispers.

your shy smile makes sukuna’s heart skip a beat.

“me too. wanna remember it forever.” you whisper.

sukuna gives you a smile, before nodding for you to continue.

“he talked to me a lot about how…horny he was before we were even dating. but now that we were, it was…something he talked about a lot. and while he never…outright forced me to do something, it was almost like he was wearing me down. first, he…he wanted me to send him nudes. i didn’t like the idea of doing that because he could use them against me so he told me that we should just…facetime and do it, if we had to.” you murmur.

there’s an embarrassment that’s blooming over your skin, images of sneaking downstairs – past sammy and your mom – just so you wouldn’t get caught.

“and i said no. but he asked again and i…i guess i caved. then he was talking about he wanted to take screenshots…because…”

you lean your head back, the embarrassment – the realization that you had done something so utterly stupid that it made you keel back. but this time, sukuna fills the silence. the way you were harshly cutting off the circulation to his hand from squeezing signaled to him that he had to – and he wanted to meet you where you were.

“you’re doing so good, you know that?” sukuna whispers.

there’s a film of tears in your eyes. and you shake your head.

his lips are warm on your forehead, brushing away the frown lines.

“doing so good, angel. so proud of you, you know that?”

you scoff.

“for what? being an idiot?” you murmur.

sukuna’s voice is soft, but adamant.

“don’t.”

you sigh.

“sorry. it’s a habit. i…i don’t actually think i’m an idiot. for any of it, because…i was just a kid. i just wanted someone to like me and–”

“and someone took advantage, sweetheart. that doesn't make you an idiot.”

it makes your chest ache. that he understands it.

“yeah.”

you swallow hard. it's enough to keep you going.

“he told me that i made it really hard for him…to jack off. because i didn’t really wear revealing clothes, which is why he needed the picture. that it would take him hours and that…if he had something it would just make it easier.”

sukuna’s eyes have a murderous glint, but you ignore it for the time being.

“it was kind of a slippery slope after that. because how are nudes different from a screenshot? that he’s my boyfriend so i should trust him and let him save them. that i should take my phone in the shower and call him and…”

you trace the outline of sukuna’s tattoos.

“he’d mask it all in compliments. tell me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and then ask. say that i was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen before he asked me to get up and send him a picture after i was already in bed.” you state.

sukuna gets it. words of affirmation. mazzy knew it meant the world to you and used it to his advantage.

“we started meeting up after that. and you remember how strict my mom was with sammy and his parents were too…so we’d kind of just…do stuff in my car.”

you frown.

“i’d fight with my mom about it. about how i wanted to drive myself to hangouts. she thought it wasn’t safe, but i’d just…cry so hard about it…because i knew it would disappoint him and i had to go. she’d give in, but…i’d feel like shit after the fact. and whenever we did stuff, it would be blistering hot in the car and his touch was already so…aggressive that i hated it.”

you sigh.

“i’d feel disgusting afterwards. not only because i was caked in sweat or because i did that, but…he’d always call me names. was really into choking and…and i was always scared that my mom would find out when i’d come home looking disheveled or smelling like him. i’d spend hours in the shower trying to scrub the feeling off till i was clean.”

the obsessiveness. sukuna had watched you do it hundreds of times, pricked and prodded at your skin when you felt like you were at your worst. he cups his cheek in your hand, fingers soft on the little blemish on your cheek – and he can’t help but wonder how many times you had picked at it until it bled, scraped off the healing in the name of feeling like his touch was off of you.

you can see sukuna’s eye watering and before you can even prod as to why, he shakes his head.

“there was one time where the security guards of that mall caught us, because i needed to turn the air on in the car. and it was so humiliating, because i wasn’t wearing a shirt and…and they flashed a light on me and started yelling at me. i…i found it hard to take my shirt off after that and…i don’t know. he’d do stuff like that all the time. grope me in public when we were standing against the wall or…at the prom after he didn’t ask me.” you state.

you shake your head.

“anyways, we told people at some point. and people stopped talking to me. he wasn’t a nice guy, he…he had even bullied some of my friends which i found out about later, but…they just didn’t want to associate with him or me by proxy. yuuji was one of the only friends i had during that time, but he was really confused about what was happening too. and he’d ask but…i couldn’t bring myself to tell him because he’d want me to end it then and there. and i would have but–”

you lean your head back.

“he was really unstable. every time he fought with people, he would tell me that he…he'd get so upset and...and punch walls and stuff. and…i felt like it was on me, that his life was in my hands if i didn’t say the right thing. so if i ended things, i’d be leaving him alone – without a lifeline.”

sukuna breaks the silence.

“that’s a big burden to carry at seventeen. feeling like you’re responsible for someone’s wellbeing.”

the recognition makes you cry.

“yeah. it…it is, isn’t it? and-and it was so scary, sukuna. i really thought something bad was going to happen…so i did what i knew would make him feel better.”

sukuna understands. that you were able to give it up and do the one thing you hated doing just to make him feel good, to satiate his needs.

you shake your head.

“anyways, it went on like that for the rest of the year. almost all of the memories from that year are colored dark – because he either did something bad or was mad at me. my eighteenth birthday, my graduation. and around july, i…i had found something bad.”

sukuna tilts his head to the side.

“i was curious one day, so…so i decided to look my dad up. it had been years since he had gone but i just wanted to see. and i found a yelp review for his company and just searched that woman’s name up who left it.”

“sukuna…my dad had been cheating on my mom. for a really long time. there were pictures and…vacations and all this stuff while my mom was like…taking loans from your mom just to buy us clothes and–”

sukuna’s perceptive. and you’re endlessly thankful about it in this moment, just because you don't have to say it.

“he cheated on you, didn’t he? just like your dad did on your mom?” sukuna whispers.

“yeah. i had asked him not to, begged him even, and i-i found out the same way. when he left for college, he’d been so distant that i had started stalking all his followers, just to see what he was up to. and he was…commenting pick up lines on this girl's account.”

you tuck your head into his neck.

“when he came back for break, he told me that he was confused but…but we still did stuff. he broke up with me two days after that.”

sukuna brings his hands up around your waist, pulling you up till you’re straddling him and secured in his lap. you’re stifling your sobs into his neck, his hands warm on your back as he leans his head against yours.

“our anniversary was on december first. i had sent him a gift, this custom made expensive necklace he wanted, and…and two days after the fact i found out that while i was ordering that online, paying same day shipping, he was on a date with her.” you state.

sukuna sighs, pulling you in closer.

“he sent me pictures of their date. because we were still friends. he’d tell me how i was going to be important to him forever, and…tell me all about her. how perfect her family was, how smart she was…that she even matched his sex drive more and–”

you sigh.

“we talked on and off for that year. whenever he came home for break, we’d basically talk all the time – but i figured out later that it was only because of the time difference and that his girlfriend was asleep. and the time that we did spend talking, it was him talking about how he felt like such a dick for how he treated me. and every time, i’d-i’d reassure him that it was okay, that i didn’t mind it.”

“still using you to make himself feel good, huh?”

“yeah. isn’t that….so fucking stupid?”

sukuna sighs.

“that’s very cruel, y/n.”

you pull back, the full depth of the word hitting you as you look at his eyes, brown and washed over in hurt. not pity – because you had seen that droop hundreds of times, but…in recognition. you reach forward, cupping his face.

“very cruel.” you whisper back.

“that’s heartbreaking. you’re a very earnest person and for someone to take advantage of this –”

sukuna reaches forward, pointing at your chest, before he crosses on it again – like the promise he made earlier – and continues talking.

“– of your beautiful heart is brutal, y/n. of course, you felt the way you did about it. anyone would.”

you nod, reaching forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

“i hope you know i’ll spend a lifetime trying to mend this with you, whatever that looks like.” sukuna whispers.

“sukuna–” you whisper.

“i’ve always seen you as what you are – a girl. in fact, the only girl for me.”

it’s almost painful. that sukuna’s repeating every word back to you, but the other way. in the way you had wanted when you were seventeen, when you were so desperate to love someone.

“you’re the only person that i’ve ever considered, for something this serious. i know i’ve dated other girls and slept around but…i’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

sukuna reaches forward, taking your hand into his and placing it flat against his chest, over his beating heart.

“s’yours. all yours, for as long as you want it.”

you cross on his heart, which has him breaking out into a smile.

“there’s my pretty girl…come here, yeah?” he whispers, gesturing for you to scoot closer, till you’re faces are only a few feet apart.

and the way he scans his eyes over your face makes your chest hurt – with such attentiveness, with such adoration as he continues murmuring his sweet nothings.

“i’ve always loved your style. i think you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen – i love when you frown at me and pretend to be mad and when you sleep with your mouth open.”

you roll your eyes, sparing him a teary laugh.

“i do not.”

“yes, you do. but anyways–”

“no i don’t!”

“baby, i’ve watched you sleep. your mouth is wide open, like you’re going to catch flies.”

“okay, edward cullen. why are you watching me sleep?”

sukuna smiles.

“you look at peace. i love it.”

you shake your head, as he continues.

“you…you drive me crazy.”

he drops his hands down your back, the touch making you shiver.

“but you’re going to call the shots. we’re...we’re going to do what you like. when you’re ready for it and –”

“i meant what i said earlier. i’m ready.” you state.

“i’d wait years if you needed me to.”

you smile.

“i know. but i want you too. and– you…you’re everything to me.”

sukuna smiles back.

“never want you to put your own needs to the side for me, ‘kay? i’d never expect you to do that. you don’t need to sit in sweltering cars or…or get up from bed for me. i’ll always be there after – washing your hair and tucking you into bed and –”

you lean forward, cupping his face, as you press a kiss to his lips. it’s warm and sweet, mixed with a mess of your tears – and him murmuring against your lips.

“angel–” he whispers.

“what?” you murmur back, whispering onto his lips.

“i’ll write you hundreds of letters. i’ll buy you nice gifts on our anniversary and it’ll be just you and me. make you a playlist with all my favorite songs, listen to all of yours. i'll even get a shitty cat if you want one that bad.”

you pull back, shifting your gaze from his left eye to the right and then back to the left. it’s the jump again – the same one you made last time.

when you promise someone your heart, when you begin to cross your heart on someone else’s.

"cat? really?"

sukuna glares.

"of course that's what you fixate on."

you smile.

“do you really mean it?”

sukuna reaches forward, crossing on your chest. you return the gesture.

“always. you’re everything to me.”

you poke at his dimples. you’ll leap – for him.

“does this change things?” you ask.

sukuna pulls you closer.

“it helps me understand you better. makes me love you more, because you’re the strongest person i know. has me filled with pride because you won’t let bad things, or experiences, change how good your heart is.”

you lean forward, cupping his face in your hands.

“don’t flatter me. you’re going to make it impossible for me to leave, ryomen.”

you can see it – the glint in his eyes when you use his given name. and the ear splitting smile that follows makes you ache as he leans forward and closes the gap.

“that sounds like the perfect scenario to me.”

the following morning, sukuna leaves early for work. but you find a perfectly plated breakfast and a letter sitting on the counter.

seven pages worth of sukuna and his sweet words – and an embarrassingly cute story about the camping trip you took years ago.

(you ask satoru to corroborate the story after. and he spells it out in full detail, about how in his drunkenness, sukuna told the group of them about your night together in the camping bag.)

next part linked here

an: anyways. lore. no one look at me - and big fluff chapter after this one, trust.

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hirukochan · 7 months

Text

Blindsided

A Severus Snape x fem!reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Pairing: Severus Snape x former student reader

Summary: Complaining to your friend about Snape's complicated presence in your life ends up with you being pulled into the battle of Hogwarts. Will Snape survive?

Warnings: Smut, some degradation, angst, blood

Wordcount: 6300

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

“I don’t know!” You whine and drop your head onto the counter.

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know’ how can you not know why you fuck someone?”

“It was a lapse in judgement.”

“A huge bloody lapse that must have been.” Aberforth grunts and dries a glass with a dirty rag. “Severus fucking Snape - his name is almost as feared as you-know-who’s these days.”

“I know!” You peer up from the counter. Aberforth looks grim - but he always looks grim. In your sixth year, you once and for all decided the Three Broomsticks is too crowded and unpleasant to be in. The Hog’s Head already had a terrible reputation back then, but you didn’t care as long as it was quiet. A sorta friendship developed between you and the barman after that. “Do you hate me now?”

Aberforth grunts. “Hate you? Ridiculous girl.” He turns to put the glass back on the shelf to the other glasses that were never used. “What would I hate you for?”

“I slept with Snape.”

“And?”

“Twice.”

“I repeat, and?”

“He- he killed your brother…”

“I’m certain he has killed a lot more than just my brother and as you know Albus and I haven’t spoken in years. When you are as old as me you don’t view death as something so terrible anymore. Anyway, I heard he was sick. Caught some nasty curse or something.”

“I’m a terrible person.”

“Don’t flatter yourself! There are way worse people out there. Snape for example.” He makes a sound that distantly resembles a laugh. A rattling humph sound. You glare at him, but can’t help the corners of your mouth twitch.

“Was it at least good?”

“That’s the worst part.” You groan and prop your head up against your hand.

“That bad?”

“The opposite.”

“That good, hm?”

You blush and quickly take a large gulp of your drink to hide it.

“You know, I’ve said it before you should-”

“I’m not joining the resistance, Aberforth!” You groan. “I have nothing to bring to the table. I was decent at best in Defense. I’d get myself killed within the first few days.”

“You know Snape.”

“I fail to see the connection.” Aberforth raises a brow and you shrink a little under his intense ‘are-you-kidding-me’-gaze.

“A spy in their midst would be useful.” He says gruffly and places another glass on a shelf.

“I’m no spy! I can’t fool Snape! We can hate him as much as he deserves to be hated but you have to agree that he’s a bloody genius! I could never fool him.”

“You said he broke into your flat while fatally injured. Even a genius is sometimes just a man thinking with his cock.”

“I’m not whoring myself out to-” Your outrage is cut short by an ear-splitting scream outside.

“This damn Caterwauling Charm!” Aberforth roars and hurls his dishcloth to the ground. You press your hands to your ears to shield them from the scream. It rips through the night like a sharp knife through skin, tearing at your eardrums and every nerve in your body. It is like the caster of the charm is standing right next to you but the terrible sound clearly comes from outside.

“What is this?” You shout over the wail towards Aberforth.

“Curfew’s been broken! They were boasting about being sent here to catch Potter. Seem to be thinking he’d be stupid enough to come here and they seem to be right.”

You get up from the bar stool and follow Aberforth to the window.

The wailing stops. You take a relieved breath and drop your hands to your side. Multiple Death Eaters dressed in dark robes are storming out of the Three Broomsticks . They are talking about something, but you can’t hear.

“Poor Rosmerta.” You grimace at the thought of having to serve those monsters at your establishment. Instinctively you grab your wand in your pocket. Dementors flood into the village. You tense.

“Bloody fool!” Aberforth growls. A shimmering blue stag runs through the town centre, fighting off shadowy dementors. Potter’s Patronus. You gasp, clasping your hands over your mouth. So Aberforth is right. Harry Potter is here in Hogsmeade.

“What would possess him-”

Aberforth stalks through the room and rips open the door.

“Potter!” He hisses. Wind tears at his robes and what sounds like three sets of hasty footsteps cross through the room and up the trickery wooden staircase behind the counter. You see nothing. If it weren’t for the steps you’d think nothing happened.

“Invisibility cloak.” Aberforth mutters over his shoulder, but his attention is suddenly pulled away by multiple hooded figures reaching the pub. You take a step back, disappearing in the shadows.

“So what?” Bellows Aberforth in response to something you didn’t catch. “So what? You send dementors down my street, I’ll send a Patronus back at’em! I’m not having’em near me, I’ve told you that. I’m not having it!”

“That wasn’t your Patronus! That was a stag. It was Potter’s!” A Death Eater shouts back, sounding rather childish you note.

“Stag!” Roars Aberforth. He draws his wand and you tense, grabbing your own tighter, your knuckles going white. If they attack Aberforth you’ll- jump into a fight you’re gloriously outnumbered in? “Stag! You idiot - Expecto Patronum! ”

Aberforth’s large goat Patronus jumps from the tip of his wand. Head down, it charges toward the village centre, and out of sight.

“That’s not what I saw” says the Death Eater, sounding less convinced than before.

“Curfew’s been broken, you heard the noise,” Another Death Eater interrupted the first. “Someone was out on the streets against regulations-”

“It was me.” You say and step forward, out of the shadows like Snape always used to when catching you out and about in the castle after curfew and the thought almost makes you laugh hysterically considering what you’re about to do. “When I arrived that horrible sound started.”

“You set off the charm?” The first Death Eater says confused. His eyes roam over your body, causing a cold shiver to run down your back and a foul taste to spread in your mouth. You resist the urge to wrap your arms around yourself to hide from the hungry stares of the dark wizards.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“What are you doing here at this hour, beautiful?” The second one purrs in a sickly-sweet tone of voice. You somehow manage to keep your blatant disgust from showing on your face. You square your shoulder and raise your chin, looking down at the men with nothing but disinterested arrogance.

“That is hardly of your concern.” The men look at each other, snickering mockingly.

“‘Hardly of your concern’?” One sneers. “Princess thinks herself too good to follow the rules.”

“Perhaps we ought to teach her a lesson, boys.”

“I am-” you raise your voice to drown out their beginning discussion of what to do with you. “-here to see Severus, so do yourself the favour and fuck off, yes?” A murmur passes through the Death Eaters. Saying Snape’s first name feels weird.

“The headmaster doesn’t receive walk-ins - especially not at this hour, even if they are as pretty as you.”

“He’s expecting me, you moron!” He is definitely not expecting you! He said he hopes you’ll never have to see him again!

“She sounds just like him.” One of the figures murmurs.

“Wait-” Another interrupts him. “I recognise you! You’re Snape’s little whore! Yes! The one in Diagon Alley, you remember boys? The shop that’s off-limits. I wondered why a pathetic bookshop would be off-limits until Wilkies said he was sent to get Snape from there and who do you think opened the door?”

You keep your chin held high and your clenched fists hidden in the pockets of your coat you had not taken off in your hurry to get out all the things weighing on your chest. Aberforth catches your gaze. His brows are knitted, an unspoken question in his eyes. You give him a tiny nod.

You can do this.

If Potter is here, here, there must be a damn good reason for it and if you could keep Snape distracted long enough-

Something in your chest tightens painfully at the thought of deceiving the man, which is ridiculous! He’s a Death Eater and a murderer!

He said this will all be over soon and while he probably meant that you-know-who will kill Potter soon - you have the chance to help the resistance here, help Potter. Everyone says he’s your only hope so here goes nothing.

“If you’re done wasting my time, then!” You growl, pissed off by the way they speak about you right to your face.

“You’re not going anywhere alone!” The Death Eater who recognised you says sharply. “Wouldn’t want you to get lost on your way to your…” His eyes roam over your body and he licks his lips. “ Date .”

It’s hard to resist the urge to claw his eyeballs out with your fingernails but you succeed. Somehow.

He steps to the side and gestures for you to lead the way. “We’ll escort you.”

You shoot him a snide glance and leave behind The Hogshead and Aberforth and the pretended safety you have been surrounding yourself in ever since Albus Dumbledore died.

Your stomach drops further with every step you take towards the imposing castle looming over the quiet village. You are flanked by two of the hooded figures. Your mouth feels dry and fuzzy and not even the sight of your beloved Hogwarts with its glimmering windows can ease your anxiety.

What if Snape blows your cover? ‘Expecting her? Why would I be expecting her?’ What if he decides to play along? Or maybe he’ll ask why you lied?

You take a deep breath, inhaling the cool night air into your lungs, focusing on the way they expand in your chest.

Snape came to your flat when he was fatally injured! Aberforth is right, that has to mean something! It just has to…And Potter is here for a reason! They say he is the only one that will be able to defeat you-know-who and while placing your fate on the shoulders of a seventeen-year-old sounds ridiculous you will certainly not defeat the most powerful Dark wizard to ever live! But you can distract Snape. Yes. You can keep him busy and buy Potter a chance to do whatever he is here for-

Or Snape sees right through you and Potter doesn’t have a plan.

You can’t even begin to tell yourself you don’t want to distract Snape like that because your body is already working against you.

You reach the iron gate. It opens with a shrill squeak and your feet once more hit the grounds of Hogwarts. Even with your nerves raw and plotting an escape from your body to save themselves while you walk to your doom. There is light in Hagrid’s hut. The treeline of the forbidden forest is cloaked in shadows, thicker and somehow darker than normal shadows and just like when you were a student here you feel like eyes are watching you from between the trees. The water of the Black Lake splashes against rocks and while in your teenage years you found the sound soothing it now only serves to unnerve you further.

You don’t look up to the headmaster's window.

You’re also shamefully aroused and your heart flutters at the thought of seeing Snape’s endlessly dark eyes that look so cold and apathetic from a distance but when you were standing right in front of him they had looked so soft and filled with emotion you could not dissect and you wonder if they always looked like that. Perhaps you had just never stood close enough to him to notice? A vein part of you whispered that it is all for you and no one else.

You squash the voice.

Your steps echo in the entrance hall. Your eyes catch the piercing gaze of Professor McGonagall, the strict head of Gryffindor house and Transfigurations Professor. Next to her in the doorway to the Great Hall stands Professor Flitwick. As soon as they see you and your escorts they hastily end their hushed conversation. They stare at you in quiet recognition and shock and you fail to conceal your fear from them.

“This way, beautiful.” One of the Death Eaters sneers and grabs your arm. You rip free and glare at him, barely resisting the urge to punch him. “Headmaster must be waiting already.” He grins, bearing his yellow teeth at you with unabashed ridicule. Disgust prickles over your skin, sinking into your stomach.

“Don’t touch me.” You hiss because you can’t help yourself. Without looking at your former Professors again you turn towards the grand staircase. Each step worsens the brooding feeling of inevitable doom that’s waiting behind the Gargoyle and then you’re standing in front of him much sooner than you ever would have expected or been ready to.

Snape is sitting behind a large desk, bend over a stack of parchments, greasy black hair falling in front of his face like curtains. He is holding a raven feather quill with a sharp silver tip which is gliding over the parchments with quick, elegant motions. He doesn’t bother looking up. He doesn’t seem to think the Death Eaters worthy of his attention.

You look around the round room. You were a good student - or at least a boring one. You’ve never been called into the headmaster’s office. The walls are lined with portraits of former headmasters and headmistresses and you feel transported back in time, just another student flinching at the stringent eyes of her professors. Dark leather-bound books adorn the many shelves and you can’t help but wonder whether Snape has read them all.

“I seem to remember you having been assigned to guard the village.” His deep voice cuts through the silence with taunting indifference and the way the words roll over Snape’s tongue and vibrate in his throat has you pressing your thighs together.

“This one claims you’re expecting her.” At that, Snape looks up. If he is surprised to see you, he doesn’t let it show. You shrink under his intense gaze no matter how much you told yourself you wouldn’t on the way up to his office. His eyes are cold…empty somehow. A man who has seen too much horror to not have lost some part of his humanity along the way.

He’s even skinnier, the shadows under his eyes deeper. You feel the overwhelming need to hug him despite everything he has done.

“And?” The other one says impatiently. “Are you?”

“I was waiting for you to leave but it appears I need to spell it out for you - unless you were expecting a treat for fetching what is mine like good guard dogs?”

He- he didn’t- he is playing along?

The hooded men grumble a few unsavoury insults and slam the door shut behind them. The sound leaves behind an eerie silence that Snape doesn’t seem too interested in breaking.

His gaze drops back down onto his parchment and he begins scribbling again. The portraits share looks and whisper with each other.

“Hi…�� The word gets stuck in your throat and sounds far higher than you usually talk - you doubt he understood more than a gurgle. You clear your throat and take a hesitant step forward, closer to the man who these days is as feared as you-know-who.

Snape sets aside his quill and steeples his fingers. His intense gaze seems to burn right through your forehead and has you squirming. Something in his eyes softens, a change so miniscule you almost missed it.

“What are you doing here and why are you lying?” He asks. He speaks softer too. Less cold, less sardonically.

“I kinda…tripped the Caterwauling Charm when I arrived in Hogsmeade and…there were Dementors and Death Eaters and they said some things…I got scared so I kinda told them….you were expecting me-”

His lips curl. “‘Kinda told them’ ?”

“I did- I did tell them.” You let out a nervous laugh.

“Why were you in Hogsmeade to begin with?” Suspicion flashes through his eyes. You take another step forward.

“I- I missed you.” Not exactly a lie. You do miss him for some fucked up reason! You’ve been thinking about him every day since that stupid blind date stood you up and his eyes haunt you every night when you close your eyes. The memories of what happened in that exact bed you were lying in came back to you and more often than not ended with you panting his name as you made yourself cum - knowing your own touch would never compare to his.

His eyes darken, his jaw tense as though he can-

You blush.

He can read your mind. He told you at the restaurant! You try not to think about Potter, but trying not to think about something always leads to thinking more about it so you bring your thoughts back to you in your bed. Covered in sweat, clutching your pillow-

“You missed me?” He asks, pretending to not have understood you but the subtle taunt in his voice betrays him. Perhaps he wants it to betray him. “And so you…what? Thought you’d go to Hogsmeade and try to get into Hogwarts? You could have sent an owl, dear.”

“The thought didn’t occur to me.”

“My, my…oh well, you’re here now aren’t you?” He pushes back his chair and spreads his legs. “Show me how much you missed me.” Mischief and an unspoken challenge glitter in his eyes and for some reason it turns you on further.

As though caught in a trance you move, rounding the desk and closing the distance between you and Snape. Distantly you are aware that the portraits are watching you. Your stomach churns and flip flops and the liquor you had at Aberforth’s turns out to have been a huge mistake.

Snape undoes the buckle of his belt. Something in the way his hands move and his shoulders are drawn into a tense, straight line tells you he doesn’t expect you to go through with this.

Joke’s on him.

You’re not at all against this turn of events.

Not now that he is in front of you, so close you could just reach out and press your body against his, feel his hot breath on your neck or his lips against your breasts.

You push your coat over your shoulder, letting it fall to the ground as you sink to your knees between his legs. His eyebrows rise and lips part, his eyes following you.

“You’ll have to teach me though, headmaster.” You purr. A smirk pulls on your lips. Snape’s surprise lasts for another few seconds before it flickers and morphs to sombre satisfaction.

“Take out my cock.” You can’t help the trembling of your fingers when you reach for the buttons of his trousers. It’s not fear, rather the opposite. You bite your lip and slip your hand into his trousers. He inhales sharply when your fingers close around his cock. He is already half hard and throbs in your hand. Gently you free him and then look back up, waiting for instruction.

You’re not stupid. You know the basics - kinda. You’ve never done this, after all, a fact Snape seems to relish in.

“Dumb slut can’t even suck cock, hm?” He snickers. His insult should offend you. You should get mad and insult him back and get up, storming out of his office in a cloud of rage - you don’t. You get wetter . An uncomfortable wet spot in your knickers - the testament of your decaying moral compass.

‘Fuck it’, you think. ‘Potter is here - we might all die today.’

If the world ends today what does it matter if you’re a traitor? A terrible, depraved, morally corrupt woman that is drawn to you-know-who’s second in command? A man almost as feared as his master?

“Lick it.” His voice cuts through your thoughts. Cold and sharp like an icicle falling from a roof, large and fast enough to pierce through a person. You part your lips and swipe your tongue over the tip of his cock. Snape groans under his breath. He reclines in his chair. The old leather creaks under his weight.

He tangles a hand into your hair, stroking your head as though you’re his loyal pet, seeking its master’s closeness.

You press your flat tongue to his cockhead, licking several hard, broad strokes over it. You place kisses just beneath it and work your way down his shaft, alternating kisses with licks all while dragging your thumb gently over the underside of his cock, just by his cockhead.

Snape’s groans get louder with each pass of your tongue, his grip on your hair tightens.

“Ahhh- fuck….what a good girl- a filthy, dumb slut satisfying her headmaster, huh? Or at least trying. You’re giving this your all, aren’t you girl? How pathetic you are.” He tears at your hair, pulling your head up and pressing your lips against his cockhead. Beads of a milky liquid are gathering at the slit. “So desperate for cock you come all the way here in the middle of the night on the off chance I might be willing to fuck you again.” Keeping your eyes trained on his you catch the liquid with the tip of your tongue. It doesn’t taste as horrible as you feared it would. Salty, kinda bitter.

“Open your mouth.” You do. You obey without hesitation. Snape looks like a king sitting on his throne and you’re the new addition to his harem, learning to please her king in all the ways he likes.

Snape brings your head closer, pulling on your hair, keeping iron-like control of your head. You grab hold of his trousers, clutching the fabric between your still-trembling fingers.

His cock slips between your lips, forcing you to open wider to him, your lips stretching around his girth. Snape looks at you with a mixture of admiration, tenderness and roaring lust and your chest swells with something akin to pride. Pride that you caused such a shift in a stoic, controlled man like Snape. And perhaps hope that Snape is not merely the barbaric Death Eater he is appearing to be. Perhaps there is more to him.

“That’s it, girl-” He groans and drops his head back against his chair, grabbing your head with both of his hands now, forcing it down on his cock. Force is unnecessary of course. You wouldn’t stop doing this even if he wasn’t holding onto you.

You drool over his hard cock while Snape bobs your head up and down, muttering words you can’t hear over your own sputtering and choking and the blood pounding in your ears. Your knickers are ruined at this point. Your cunt clenches around jarring nothingness. You’re so aroused it hurts . There is an unbearable need deep inside you and you can’t- can’t-

You let go of his trouser, dropping your hand between your spread-out knees and under your skirt. Never have you been so wet. Your fingers slide into you without any resistance. You moan around Snape’s cock.

He opens his eyes, blinks as though he isn’t quite aware of his surroundings. His eyes meet yours. You must look pathetic. Drooling over his cock, tears and snot smeared on your face while he uses your mouth to pleasure himself.

“Are you touching yourself, dear?” He coos, his lips curling into a smug grin. Your eyelids drop shut and you moan again. Snape pulls on your hair, plucking you off his cock. You whine both at the sting and the loss of contact. Before you can fully catch up with the situation Snape has gotten to his feet, pulling you with him. He smashes his lips against yours. His hand is securely tangled in your hair, pressing you closer to him while also preventing you from pulling away.

You don’t want to.

You missed him so much. Even though you don’t really know him. Even though you really shouldn’t. He was your teacher and he is a murderer and you don’t give a shit.

You mewl into the kiss and cling to the front of his robes.

“You’re fucking beautiful.” He murmurs against your lips. His hand leaves your hair. He grasps at your arse, squeezing your cheeks in his large hands that have slipped under your skirt. He is grinding you into his erection.

“Snape-” You moan. He forces you back. Your thighs hit the edge of his desk. Snape lifts you up on it and drops to his knees. Your hands tangle into his hair instantly, pulling him closer, parting your legs for him.

“So fucking beautiful.” He repeats, sounding almost dazed. He kisses your knee, trailing up your thigh, inching teasingly, torturously towards where you need him most.

“-Snape…”

“I don’t want to die without knowing how you taste.” Your mind is too far gone, too useless, too lust-drenched to register his words or the pang of worry you would normally feel at hearing them. Just a few minutes earlier you would have noticed the certainty in the word die. Like a man on death row, walking towards his execution.

Snape tears at your knickers, pulling them roughly down your legs.

Hot. His tongue is so hot- heat that sears at your skin, killing and saving you all at once.

You grip his hair tighter and throw your head back. Snape laps at your cunt, licking broad, hard strokes over your folds, pulling moan after pathetic, whimpering moan from you.

Much too soon he stops, leaving you just on the edge of release, suspended in the air, surrounded by heat and desperation and roaring pleasure.

“Snape.” You rasp, your voice strained.

“You’ll cum on my cock or you won’t cum at all, dear.” He says. He probably aimed to sound teasing, in control, smug maybe. But control has long left this room. Neither of you possess a single ounce of it and he sounds equally as needy as you feel. You wrap your legs around his hips and pull him closer.

“Yes, headmaster.” You say. His Adam’s Apple bobs with the hard swallow he takes. He closes his eyes and his jaw tenses.

“Vixen.” He growls and pounces at you. One second you’re sitting, smirking at Snape, the next you’re buried under his weight, pressed down on the desk. He enters you in one thrust, a truly sinful groan falling from his lips. He fucks you rough - much rougher than the last two times. You’re kissing, clicking teeth and gasping for air. Snape pounds into you, his thick cock stretches you open, hitting all the right spots. You cling to Snape, grasping at his sleeves and collar, desperate to touch him, feel him.

Last time Snape clung to you like a dying man to life - now you’re clinging to him like life not ready to let death take what is hers.

“Snape!” He sucks on the delicate skin over your throat, hard enough to leave a bruise.

“I had made my peace with never seeing you again.” He rasps in your ear between feverish kisses. “I don’t- I can’t-” Whatever it is he wanted to say, it’s lost to your shared pleasure. Snape presses his face against the crook of your neck, panting and groaning and you cry out, pressure mounting inside you. Ripples morph to tidal waves, swallow you up, pull you under and lift you up all at once and Snape murmurs something against your collarbone you can’t make out.

You can feel it’s important though.

Crucial, world-changing, momentously significant information and you sob. The worlds slip through your fingers like sand in an hourglass and you hold onto Snape tighter, tighter so perhaps those words aren’t lost- he isn’t lost-

Snape lifts his head and kisses you. Soft, gentle. A stark contrast to before. There’s longing in the kiss, regret and pain and you weave your fingers through his hair and kiss him back, begging for him to shatter your worries because something isn’t right here! You can tell- something-

What aren’t you seeing?

Droplets hit your skin.

Are you crying?

An explosion tears you apart. It’s in the distance, muffled through the many ancient walls separating the headmaster's office from the source. Both of you look up. Snape at once composed, his eyes once more distant. Wetness lingers in them.

“Stay here.” He orders.

“What’s going on?” Is Potter here? Snape has meanwhile straightened up and fixed his clothes and hair.

“Stay.”

“Snape!” You push your skirt down and jump from the table, following him towards the door. He pauses. Tension drawn into every muscle, in the very way he stands, unable to face you. “Please-” Your voice breaks.

“I need you to stay here.”

“Please talk to me.” Now you’re definitely crying.

“I told you this will be over soon. Today’s the day.”

You shake your head. Can he stop being a fucking enigma and just be honest with you for once!

He wants to leave, but you grab his hand and hold him back. He’s trembling. You couldn’t tell before, but touching him now-

He’s scared.

You wrap your arms around his waist and press your face to his back, sobbing.

“I need to know you’re safe. Please- I’m begging you- stay here.” His voice is heavy and crack at the end.

“Severus-”

He swirls around in your embrace and cups your cheeks before kissing you. The kiss tastes of salt…

“It’ll all be over and if it goes according to plan you’ll be free. You’ll be safe. It’ll be over. Promise me- promise me you’ll find happiness. That you’ll live, that you’ll find love and have a family of your own and- that you will be happy and safe and loved !”

“Severus-” Snape presses his lips to your forehead before leaning his own against it. He has his eyes closed.

“Promise me.” He sounds like the words physically hurt him. “Please! ”

“If you promise to come back to me!” You’ve grasped the front of his robes again. Tears stream over your cheeks. Snape doesn’t answer. He gently disentangles your hands from his clothes and with a billow of his cloak he is gone.

You clasp your hands over your mouth and sink to your knees, shaken with silent sobs.

This can’t be happening- this can’t be real. You feel numb. There is no fear left, not even pain which you had expected. You feel empty. Like Snape took a part of you with him when he left.

For a long time, nothing happens. You gather your pathetic self from the ground and drag yourself over to Snape’s chair. Aimlessly you open drawers in search of some liquor. Snape surely would have liquor in his desk, right?

“Bottom drawer, dear.” A warm female voice says. You flinch but quickly remember you are in fact surrounded by a bunch of portraits. You don’t even have it in you to blush.

You open the suggested drawer with more force than necessary. A bottle rolls over the bottom of the drawer. It’s some fancy whiskey. Not that you care. You pick up to bottle and are about to unstopper it when-

A picture lies in the drawer. It was hidden underneath the bottle. With knitted brows, you set the bottle aside and pick it up.

It’s you.

You are in front of the bookshop. Wind is pulling at your hair and snowflakes are falling down on you. You’re laughing and trying to catch them with your tongue.

Why does Snape have a picture of you in his desk? Why is it in his whiskey drawer?

Your mind pictures him sitting here, taking swigs of his fancy liquor and staring at the picture of you.

You should feel uncomfortable. This is- weird. It should be weird.

It’s not.

It doesn’t feel like it at least. It feels of suppressed longing, of a yearning for something he can’t allow himself to have but is unable to let go of.

You can’t stay here. You have a terrible feeling about all this. Something terrible is going to happen.

Leaving Snape’s office you stumble into a war zone. Hexes and curses flash through the air, there are screams and shouts. You duck, draw your wand and join the battle.

It’ll all be over today .

Snape’s words play on repeat in your head. Everything blurs together. You send your nastiest curses at the hooded Death Eaters all while looking out for greasy black hair and slimmer than they should be shoulders.

You don’t find him anywhere.

Out of breath and scared for your life and everyone around you, you wind up in the Great Hall. You’re bleeding from a wound on your head and several gashes all over your arms and upper body of varying severity.

And there you spot him. He’s standing in the middle of the room. The battle seems to come to a halt. The remaining fighters have gathered around the walls of the former dining area. Next to Snape stands Harry Potter and they’re facing you-know-who together-

Wait.

Snape is facing his own master?

A blood-soaked bandage around his throat Snape glares at the pale, noseless monster. He is hunched over, his breaths seem to be laboured.

There’s a duel. Halfway through you-know-who’s red eyes lock with your own. The intensity of the sheer cruelty in his eyes knocks the air from your lungs.

“How ill-conceived of you to bring her here, Severus.” A pale, long wand is aimed at you. Snape swirls around. His eyes widen with shock and fear and accusation.

Everything goes quiet.

Green light speeds towards you. You-know-who turns towards Potter. Snape runs towards you. Potter’s spell hits you-know-who’s in the air.

Snape shouts your name. Droplets of blood fly through the air.

And at once the sounds return, smashing into your eardrums with deafening force. You throw yourself down on the ground. The curse hits the wall behind you. It bursts into shards of stone that fly through the air. Some hit you. Some hit others. You look up, your heart racing in your chest, your fingers tremble from the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

You almost died.

Fucking Voldemort almost killed you!

Quickly you look up, gripping your wand tighter, prepared to defend yourself if necessary-

There’s cheering. Voldemort is dead, they shout. You spot the pale figure on the floor with Potter standing over him.

He is dead?

Truly dead?

It’s over-

You let out a laugh somewhere between hysteria and pure joy.

“Severus-” Where is he? He was running towards you- “SEVERUS!”

Heads turn towards you.

Snape is on the ground, surrounded by his black robes, a puddle of deep red blood growing around him steadily. “HELP! HELP! SEVERUS- ” You sprint towards him, dropping to your knees even before you reach him and slipping over the ground. “SEVERUS! SEVERUS! PLEASE-” He is still warm. You gather his slack body into your arms, cradling him to your chest. No no no no no no- please-

“Severus- Severus-” Warm blood sticks to your hands. Too much- way too much.

“Please please- no- Sev- no-” Arms wrap around you, tuck and pull on you, tearing you away from Severus. You scream and flail around, trying to hit whoever is trying to take him from you, take you from him- no-

“SEVERUS! LET GO OF ME! SEVERUS- ”

Madam Pomfrey rushes towards Potter and Snape. She sinks to her knees and waives her wand over Snape’s lifeless body. You give up your fight. You sob and cry and whimper Snape’s name, pleading with whichever deity is listening to you to not take him- no- not now-

“He was on our side all along-” Potter says, his voice cracking. “Dumbledore asked him to kill him- He was on our side-”

You watch the healer work with bated breath. Magic flows out of the tip of her wand in a steady flow, battling whatever had Snape bleeding. Potter has fallen to his knees in the meanwhile. McGonagall is silently crying.

“He’s stable.” Madam Pomfrey says, wiping sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. “For now at least.” The hands holding you, release you and you scramble off the floor. Snape is lying in a cot the healer summoned. She is already gone, hurrying towards the next victim of this battle needing healing. You have no strength left to care or to even consider helping anyone. Nobody asks you to.

You lie down next to Snape.

“Please don’t die-” You whisper the words again and again until your voice fails you and you just watch his chest rise and fall because as long as his chest is still rising and falling he is still alive.

Your eyes fall shut.

You let them.

For just a moment. A moment of rest.

“I- told you to…stay-” You startle awake. “You never listen…” Black eyes blink at you. Tired but alive. So alive.

“Severus!” You sob and crash your lips against him. A hysterical laugh of relief escapes you.

“Ow- careful-” He groans.

“Sorry sorry sorry!” Quickly you back off. “You’re alive.”

“It would appear so. Believe me, I am as surprised as you are.”

“Idiot! You fucking wanker! How dare you almost fucking die on me again!”

Snape laughs, but it sounds horrible. Like nails on a chalkboard. You heard that Voldemort’s snake tore open his throat and Potter just about managed to save his life.

“I apologise.” He rasps. “Allow me- allow me to take you to dinner. Proper dinner. With at least five courses and wine.”

“As long as you actually show up to the restaurant.” You chuckle and wipe the tears from your cheeks.

“Only a fool would waste the opportunity of a date with you.”

#snape fandom #ao3 fanfic #severus snape #severus snape smut #snape x you #snape x reader #severus snape x reader #dividers by cafekitsune

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gimmeurtmi · 1 year

Text

routine — seungmin

pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader

tags: getting together, smut!!!🔞

warnings: swearing, dry humping, making out, messing around over clothes, shy!reader turned brave, bestie han for a minute, cheesy ending bc i couldn’t help myself, unspecified relationship

inspo: requested by anon! Humbly requests dry humping with Seungmin👀

notes: some of you might’ve noticed kim seungmin has captured me in his spell. this is the first of many minnie fics i have to write to deal with my feelings. thank you. rbs and feedback are much appreciated 🫶🏻

{ wc: 2462 }

Your routine with Seungmin was quite simple. You’d come over to the dorm when the other boys were busy and get to spend some time alone with him. He usually put something on the TV—a reality contest about singers, but he never watched the episodes chronologically, so singers would disappear and reappear every time you watched another one. Sometimes he’d watch the finale before the auditions.

You thought it was crazy, but the truth was you weren’t there to watch the singing competition with him.

You were there to spend time with your crush.

After watching two episodes he’d order some food (almost always getting you the pork belly you liked) and then you two would eat.

Then you’d talk about things. He’d share the troubles he had at work and you’d share your stresses and then he’d crack a joke or two and then you talked about happier things and without fail, his head would end up in your lap as you played with his wonderful hair.

Once the silence settled around the pair of you, Seungmin would stretch, yawn, and ask you if he could kiss you.

He’d kiss you for a few minutes, softly, and then he’d ask if it was time for you to head home since it was getting late.

The routine was like clockwork.

And like clockwork, Seungmin would ignore the kisses you shared once they were done.

You did complain about the situation to your best friend, Jisung, who sadly was also Seungmin’s best friend. All Jisung had to say was, “but you like him, how is this bad?”

“Because I want more than dinner and some pecks,” you whined.

“Okay. So initiate that,” he shrugged back at you.

“I can’t,” you helpfully explained.

“He’s a coward,” Jisung said simply as he took another spoonful of ice cream, “he’s obviously too scared to start something. So if you want more just do it. What happened to girls can make the first move?”

“Girls can,” you took another bite of the ice cream you were sharing with Jisung, “but I can’t.”

“Then stop complaining.”

“You’re so good at advice, I’m so happy I picked you as my best friend,”

Jisung grinned at you, his cheeks full of ice cream.

“He likes you, he wants to be with you, and with the little schedule you have going on he gets that. Why would he risk it?” Was Jisung actually offering you advice? “If you want more then put on your big girl pants and start something.”

“What I want is to take off my—“

“—no! Don’t wanna hear that!”

You grinned at your best friend before you got back to your ice cream. Perhaps he was right.

Next time you saw Seungmin you decided the only way to get a different result would be to break the routine.

As the first episode of the show started you brought your hand in between your bodies. Slowly, you crawled your pinky across the sofa until it touched his hand.

Seungmin did not react at all.

In fact, he remained frozen for the rest of the contestant's song—only reacting when he rolled his eyes at the judge’s praise.

“That guy is biased,” he started, “that wasn’t a good cover, it sounded like karaoke.”

“You should be a judge on one of these shows,” you said, finally gathering the courage to link your fingers together.

Seungmin hummed.

“Maybe when we disband and I—“

“—Ahhhh la la laa!”

He squeezed your hand, a chuckle on his tongue. “what?”

“You’re not allowed to say that word!”

He laughed, his eyes disappearing under his bangs. “Okay.”

You held hands through the whole episode, Seungmin’s thumb rubbing against your palm in rhythm with the songs playing. You liked that a lot.

And then, after you finished the food and telling him all about your big fight with your mum, his head was in your lap again.

You ran your finger through his hair.

It was quiet.

Only this time you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You had to break the routine. That was the only way. He was going to ask to kiss you and you would say no. You’d say you wanted more. Yes, that was the plan.

“Hey, pretty?” That was different.

You hummed.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Since when do you call me pretty?”

“Since when do you hold my hand?” He asked right back. The hand that wasn’t playing with his hair was resting by his head, and Seungmin had reached out for it and laced your fingers together.

“I dunno,” you mumbled, “I just wanted to.”

“It’s not bad, I like holding your hand,” he looked up at you with a smile, squeezing your hand.

You smiled to yourself, brushing his bangs into his eyes.

“I liked it too,” you said. Seungmin hummed.

The silence took its turn again.

“So.. about that kiss?”

“Oh, uh,” you started.

As soon as something other than ‘yes’ left your lips, Seungmin lifted his head from your lap. He turned to you, eyes wide, waiting for you to say something.

You were still holding hands but one of you had started to sweat and both your palms were now incredibly warm.

“Um, yeah,” you said after a few moments.

“Um, yeah?” He repeated, eyes squinting at you.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about something,” you nodded, “I’m here now.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He offered, almost getting back into position for Phase Three. But you were ready now for Phase Five.

“No, let’s kiss instead.”

So there went your plan to say no. But maybe you already changed too much today—holding hands was a great start and you can just build more from there.

Seungmin brought his hand to your jaw, pulling you closer and pressing his lips against yours.

You let his soft lips take control, like you always did, following his lead and asking for nothing more. He pressed his lips against yours once and then twice, and then he pulled away.

Before you even thought of opening your eyes you leaned forward—kissing him again, pulling him back towards you.

Seungmin reacted instantly, bringing his hand to your waist to keep you this close to him.

You moved against each other, your mind taken over by how soft his lips were.

You moved your hand to his jaw, feeling the way it flexed as he opened his mouth, experimentingly moving his tongue against yours. You hummed, brushing your thumb against his cheek.

When you pushed against him more, trying to get him to lay down he pulled away.

His pupils were blown as he looked at you up and down before his eyes settled on your lips.

“We should keep going,” he said, breathing heavily, “we should definitely do more of that.”

“Then why did you stop, Minnie?”

“The boys are gonna be back in like twenty minutes,” he groaned.

“So? That’s a very long time,” you smiled up at him, massaging your fingers against his scalp.

“Yeah, yeah, but it’s not enough time.”

“Enough? For what?” You asked, hopefully.

“I don’t want us to get carried away and for the boys to see you in a position you don’t want to be seen in,” he explained. You didn’t quite understand.

Well, you did. You just wanted him to say it clearly.

“What kind of position?” You kissed his cheek. When he said nothing you kept kissing him, down his jaw, down his neck, settling on a spot that made him sigh.

You sucked on his skin, grinning to yourself when he let out a groan and squeezed your hips in response. You took that as a sign to keep going.

“Pretty,” he sighed softly.

“Yeah?” You mumbled, licking over the now red spot you created.

“Don’t start something I can’t finish.” It sounded like a warning.

“And who said you can’t finish it?”

“Seventeen minutes isn’t enough,” he said simply.

“Do you always count the minutes before you kick me out?” You chuckled at him.

“No,” he countered, making the sound longer, “I count the minutes until I inevitably need to stop so they don’t come in when we’re in the middle of something.”

You shook your head at his logic. “We could just go to your room and close the door, you know.”

Seungmin looked at you with wide eyes.

Instead of saying anything else—because you made your thoughts pretty clear, you’d say—you leaned forward, grabbing his chin and tilting it upwards, enough to allow you to pepper kisses around his skin. His collarbone peaked out from his oversized shirt collar, the perfect place to plant endless kisses like you always wanted to.

When you pulled away from his skin, both his hands were cupping your head, one in your hair and one on your cheek—pulling you back towards his lips eagerly.

He kissed you with an urgency you’ve never felt from him before.

Your tongues moved against each other as the pair of you gasped, Seungmin’s hands pulling your waist even closer to him, practically dragging you over the couch.

“We have twelve minutes, Minnie,” you teased him with a smirk, pulling away slightly to catch your breath.

But he didn’t react to that. Instead, he used the opportunity to kiss down your neck.

“I’m not stopping,” was all he said, biting your skin before he started sucking on it.

“No one told you to stop,” you sighed as a tingle ran down your neck and towards your spine.

Seungmin bit the skin one more time before he faced you again, his lips wet and shiny as he kissed you for a moment.

Then he stood up. His sweats did very little to conceal the way all this affected him, and you felt a heat spread between your legs when he caught you staring at him.

He offered his hand to you and you quickly took it, standing up and following him to his room.

You’ve never been in his room before except for one other time. You were cold and he told you to just grab the first hoodie you see. That took you about three seconds and you never stepped foot in his room again.

Now, Seungmin locked the door behind him.

You easily laid onto the bed, settling yourself on the pillows as Seungmin climbed on top of you.

He rubbed his thumb in circles against your cheek as he smiled at you, licking his lips. “Hey, pretty.”

“Hey,” you smiled back.

“Can I kiss you?”

You giggled at him, rolling your eyes. “Can you please do more than that already?”

His eyes gleamed at you. “Desperate, are we?”

“Like you’re not fully hard right now?” You shot back.

Seungmin laughed, and then rolled his eyes, and before he could say whatever smug retort was on his lips you pushed your hips up and rubbed against his crotch.

He gasped.

“Yeah, what was that?” You smirked at him.

“Shut up,” he dismissed.

You decided he definitely didn’t have any right to tease you, and so you grabbed his hips and pushed him down—his body meeting yours.

His eyes fluttered shut.

You were going to say something cheeky, he knew, so instead he kissed you as you rolled his hips against yours.

Seungmin hadn’t made a move to take any of your clothes off, or his, but his hips were moving against yours in the best way.

At one point you heard the front door open, and Seungmin pulled away from you, but you quickly grabbed his face and ran your tongue across his lips.

“I don’t care that they’re here, just keep going,” you said in between gasps.

He listened, and quickly got back to kissing you as he dragged his body against yours. You moved up to meet his thrusts, moaning into the kiss as he bumped against your sensitive bud.

You were gasping, grabbing at his arms, doing anything you could to get him closer to you.

And he did everything he could to get you to make those beautiful noises again.

He ran his hands all over you, not even sure where to touch first now that he was touching you. He moved from squeezing your thighs to your arms to your waist to running up and down your stomach until he was brave enough to crawl his hand under your shirt and all the way up to your breasts.

You were wearing one of your bralettes today, which made it much easier for him to simply run his thumb against your bra until he got a reaction from you.

You moaned softly as he rubbed your nipple with a smirk.

“What are you getting cocky about?” You asked, breatheless.

“Just… that I can drive you crazy with minimal effort.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna cum from this, if that’s what’s getting you excited,” you said, bucking your hips up involentarily.

“Who said I’m trying to make you cum?”

You whined at his words, and Seungmin had to remind you the boys were home now, so he licked into your mouth again to keep you quiet.

It was fifteen minutes before midnight when Seungmin pulled away, placing his face in your neck and kissing it lightly as you both caught your breaths.

You had no idea you were going for that long, but you knew your panties were ruined from having soaked through them and that there was a stain on the front of Seungmin’s sweats from where he was leaking.

He ran his hands up and down your sides as you both just breathed.

“Do you need to go home?” He asked, like he always does. But this time it sounded more like a child asking if he had to go to bed and stop playing with his favourite friend.

“Maybe in a bit?” You offered.

Seungmin rubbed circles into your stomach where your shirt was scrunched up your middle. He kissed your cheek.

“Don’t want you to go yet, pretty.”

You ran your hand up his back and then down again, matching the pace of his fingers on your skin. “I hate when you go.”

“You’re the one who kicks me out every time,” you smiled.

“Yeah, but I told you why. I need to stop myself because now I don’t want you to ever leave. I just wanna do this for hours.”

“And what makes you think I don’t want to do this for hours, too?”

Seungmin picked his head up, looking at you bewildered. As if you just told him the most magnificent secret. “I’m…. not sure.”

“So…. can we keep doing this for hours?”

Seungmin didn’t answer, instead brought your lips together and kissed you for an undetermined amount of minutes. Or maybe hours.

#skz x reader #stray kids x reader #all.works #skz x y/n #skz smut #kim seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x you #seungmin #seungmin x y/n #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin smut #kim seungmin smut #skz fics

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

Note

Aita for telling my ex boyfriend I don’t miss him?

Tw for talk of sexual activity, emotional neglect

For context, I (19f) broke up with my boyfriend (18m) three months ago. We were going strong for a day short of nine months, but he was going to meet my family and my anxiety got in the way so I panicked and self sabotaged the best relationship I ever had. I know now I was a coward and I hurt him deeply, we’d even planned on attending the same university and starting a bookstore together

He really was the best thing to ever happen to me. He was unconditionally supportive of me when I deal with my emotionally manipulative home life, always told me how pretty I am, got me gifts and would binge my favorite shows so I could infodump to him. He’d been seriously neglected and borderline abused by his toxic ex boyfriend (an ex-mutual friend) but he always went above and beyond to make sure he wasn’t projecting onto me and our relationship. I was head over heels

But I broke up with him the day before our nine-month milestone because I was so sure that he would break my heart and leave me just like everyone else in my life had (and a week before we were to fly cross-country to meet my parents. I went alone.) And he told me in the many conversations we’ve had since then that it ruined his self-esteem and made him question his own self worth if he couldn’t even convince me that he was worth keeping around

And he said that he had planned to ask me to marry him when we got out of university in a couple years. He was so devastated over the phone, but I stuck with my decision to not date anyone during college. I needed to focus on myself and my own mental health… which I haven’t been good about doing (looking at my various online dating profiles)

While we were together, all of my friends were in their horny college phases and hooking up with anything that moved and they’d leave me out of friend activities because I was with my boyfriend. It made me feel alone and isolated and I’d cry to my boyfriend about it and only realize later how awful it was to complain to my significant other about how badly I wanted to be single. Yet, he never complained. I was awful to him

We’ve recently become friends again and we’ve started having casual sex. He has an almost unnaturally low libido compared to my super high one so when he calls me, I’m always at his front door. He’s always so sweet and caring, even after we’ve broken up, and he always checks in on me in the following days to make sure I’m okay. He’s undoubtedly my best friend and my romantic feelings for him have all pretty much died

Last night I spent the night at his place. As we were drifting off, I heard him mumble that he misses me and wrote it off as his sleepy pillow talk. We’d talked in length about never getting back together because of how I hurt him and I agreed it was for the best. This morning, he asked me if hed said anything strange and I didn’t bring it up until he kept nagging me and I told him what he’d said.

He started apologizing profusely and I said I wasn’t upset, because I’m not. I asked him if he meant it and he said he didn’t know. I said it’s fine, he can keep the answer to himself when he figured it out, I didn’t miss him. I ate the breakfast he made and left for work

Now I’m sitting at work and feeling really bad about it. I want to still be his friend and still sleep with him for as long as he’ll have me, but I also feel like I shut him down and hurt him again. I don’t know if my decision to put my foot down was the right one

So, tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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sturn1olo-ffics · 6 months

Text

- HIDDEN (a series) -

pt. 1 | pt. 2

- Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader

- Warnings: kissing, suggestive content?, profanity, use of y/n, enemies to lovers 😈, hidden love frfr, multiple parts; NOT PROOFREAD

- About: Y/n and Matt aren’t very fond of each other on the outside, but on the inside, what really are they?

—————————————————————————————

(Y/N’s POV):

Finding myself alone on a Friday night, I walked down the stairs of my apartment and into my living room. Turning on the TV to my Spotify account, as it is way louder than my speaker, I started playing my rap playlist.

I had only really gotten into rap because of Chris, my best friend, playing it every time he got on aux in my car. But, I can’t complain. I’m always open to trying something new.

I set the remote down and headed to the kitchen to start making some pasta for dinner. After doing so, I sat down at my island on a stool and began eating.

I found myself scrolling through Instagram before I got a call from Madi.

“Hey girl. Some of the girls and I just got invited to a last minute party tonight. Wanna come with? It’s an excuse to dress uppp…!” She said, dragging the last word out musically.

“Yeah sure! Text me the addy and send a pic of what you’re wearing” I responded excitedly before we ended the call.

I sat my bowl in the sink, along with the pots I used, and headed up to my bedroom to start getting ready.

I searched through my closet, finding a red satin dress that hugged my curves perfectly, and some gold heels. I had been waiting to wear this outfit out.

I started on my hair, blow drying it to show off the layers I had gotten cut just days before. Then headed on to my makeup.

Upon finishing my makeup, I stared at myself in the mirror a bit, admiring the job I did on my eyeliner proudly. Then, I sprayed some cherry-smelling perfume and put on some gold jewelry that matched my shoes.

I grabbed my phone and searched through my saved audios on TikTok before finding the perfect one to lip sync to.

But, before I could hit record, I heard a knock at my bedroom window.

Immediately surprised due to my room being on the second floor, I was hesitant to open my curtains.

Before I could take a step toward the window, I heard a laugh come from the other side.

“Y/N I know you’re in there.” It was Matt.

I never got along with Matt, but really there was no reason behind why we hated each other so much.

Opening the curtain and then the window, I questioned him as he climbed in, soaked from the rain.

“Matt why the fuck are you at my apartment… let alone my bedroom window?” I backed away from him.

“I knocked on your front door, you just didn’t hear because of your loud ass music.” He sassed back.

“Okay but why are you here though…?” I asked, still very confused and knocked out of routine.

“I came to see if you had Chris’ hoodie… which is actually mine, but he stole it.” He said, stepping toward my closet.

“I think I do actually, but you could have just called me.” I opened my closet and grabbed the hoodie he was asking about.

“What’s the fun in that?” He leaned down and whispered in my ear before grabbing the hoodie out of my hand.

“Excuse me? Don’t fucking whisper in my ear like that-” I backed away from him before he cut me off.

“Oh please, pretty girl, you know you liked it.” He responded and turned toward my bedroom door.

“Ew. Go home Matt.” I stated, dramatically shaking my body to show how “icky” I felt. But really, my heart was racing.

“What are you all dressed up for?” He turned back around, walking back towards me.

“I’m going to a party with Madi.” I stated, setting my phone down on my vanity.

“Oh, I was hoping it was for me.” He lowered his voice and smirked at me.

“Wha-” I questioned before being cut off by Matt’s hands on my waist.

“You know, I’ve always thought you were the prettiest girl Chris has ever been friends with. It’s a shame he doesn’t want you.” He smiled down at me, maintaining eye contact.

“I don’t want Chris like that-” I began before he cut me off once again.

“But that means I get to have you all to myself.” He said, pulling me closer by the waist.

I panicked, searching his eyes for anything that would help me understand what was going on, but I instead found my eyes landing on his lips.

Noticing this, he cupped my jaw with one hand and placed the other on the small of my back, pulling me into a passionate kiss.

I pulled back, searching his eyes before smiling and deepening the kiss.

He turned us around and backed up toward the bed before sitting down and pulling me on top to straddle his lap.

Pulling back, he moved the hair on my neck and placed sloppy, wet kisses down my jaw and onto my neck before marking me up.

“Matt-” was all I could murmur out, being engulfed by his cologne.

“Yes, baby?” He questioned before placing more kisses onto my chest, leaving more marks.

“We shouldn’t-” I started as my breath hitched at the feeling of his hips bucking up.

I pulled away from him and stood up, holding my hand out to pull him off my bed.

“We really shouldn’t.” I stated, running my fingers through my hair.

“You’re right, y/n.” He grabbed the hoodie he had thrown onto the bed and handed it back to me.

“Keep it. It’s not mine, it’s Chris’. I just knew you’d have a hoodie of his and used it as an excuse to come see you.” He laughed.

Giggling along with him, I led him down the stairs and to the front door.

“Do you wanna come to the party with me?” I asked, hoping he’d say yes.

“Nah, I got a video to film with Nick and Chris. Keep your bedroom window unlocked for me later, though.” He turned the door knob and headed towards his car, winking before hopping in the drivers seat.

“Will do.” I responded with a smile before closing my front door.

I headed back up to my room, still in confusion, to freshen up my makeup before leaving for the party while still leaving my bedroom window unlocked.

Upon arriving to the party, I found Madi and the other girls before receiving a text from Chris.

—————————————————————————————

A/N: Y’all this has got to be one of my favorite fics I’ve written so far and I cannot wait to share the other parts with y’all 😍😍

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romeavecryst · 7 days

Text

Crush Culture˖ ࣪⊹

II. Spill my guts

sum: tsukishima finding himself thinking a bit more of the nekoma manager, maybe looking a bit more into her wont be to bad..

Warnings: Tsukishima being a Cutsie little stalker, cursing, teasing, not really proffered! Mention of past relationship.

(III.)

.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.

He hated it he hated this feeling, it didn’t help how his teammates would talk about ‘Nekomas pretty manger’ it irritated him how Tanaka and Noya practically drooled over her when they brought her up. What made it worse is when yamaguchi let it slip that he had ran into her in the hallway. The two second years going crazy that he had gotten that close to her.

“Common you don’t even know her name!” Noya groaned.

“Why would I even ask she ran into me.” He said.

Tanaka punched him in the arm “you didn’t even say sorry just walked away, how could you she’s gorgeous.” He complained.

Tsukishimas rubbed his arm rolling his eyes, oh he apologized. Not that he wanted to, remembering the moment making him frown. “Ask Kiyoko, they hugged after the game.” Kageyama spoke up.

The three snapping their heads towards the first year. “You’re so smart!” Noya and Tanaka cried pushing off of Tsukishima.

He found it sad how desperate they were to find out her name, why did they even need it? He thought she’s not even around her it’s not like they’d go out with her. To them she was just a pretty face and that pissed tsukishima off, at lest have the decency to ask her name in person. What made this more dreadful is the he wanted to know her name to, to be truthful he’d looked up their roster and coaching staff but didn’t find a name that would fit her. God maybe he was worse than them for doing that.

“SHE HAS AN INSTAGRAM!” Tanaka yelled.

Tsukishima groaned standing up, walking by his two upper class men he glanced at the phone they looked at scrolling through her feed.

It wasn’t stalking if her account is public right? Tsukishima opening up his phone as he began to walk home only for him to close it and shove the phone back in his pocket. He groaned closing his eyes, “Everything alright Tsukii?” The sound of his best friends voice was heard from beside him.

Tsukishimas eyes met his, “I’m fine.”

Lie. And yamaguchi could tell, “don’t bs me what’s up. I get if you don’t wanna tell me but I’m here to listen.” He shrugged.

He wanted to tell him, he wanted that Nekomas manager had an attitude, how he haters her bratty tone pissed him off. How she was stuck in his head how she barely touched him but her body spray lingerd on him after, how she smelled of coco butter and vanilla. How stupid he felt. How she pulled an apology out of him and it wasn’t even a real one! God she pissed him off. Especially how nervous he got.

He wanted to throw up.

“Tsukii?”

“Why are they so obsessed with her?”

“Nekomas manager?”

“Yeah”

Yamaguchi paused for a moment “It’s Tanaka and Nishinoya, it’s just the way they are. Plus she is pretty.”

“Is that really all? Over them being a bit girl crazy.” Yamaguchi spoke rubbing the back of his neck.

No. Was he jealous! No that’s stupid. “Just don’t get it I guess, I mean don’t you get tired if it? Them always asking you if you have a girlfriend? If you have a crush.” Tsukishima asked.

“Not really, it’s never bothered me. I mean I do like girls but it’s not my whole personality nor do they like me back at times. Just keep to myself.” Yamaguchi spoke thinking about as he talked.

Tsukishima always disliked the concept of crushes, how one shared feelings for another but can’t tell them. The feeling of falling in love yet waiting just to perhaps be rejected? The obsession that came with it always wanting to talk to said person or being with them. How you can ever get them out of your mind. It was lame, it made him feel sick.

“You like someone don’t you.”

Tsukishimas head Turing to look at his friend. “No, I’m not interested in all of that.” He spoke. Truthfully he wasn’t, he no intention of getting a girlfriend or even talking to someone romantically.

Maybe it was the comfort of his bed, how he laid on his back as he opened Instagram again. Typing in the name tag, pressing on the first profile. Yeah she was known that for sure. Scrolling through her feed, learning she’s social, loves her family, and all around loves taking photos of herself, but how could she not she’s pretty. Her face was made for the lens of a camera.

“Really like putting yourself out there huh..?” He spoke to himself, the moment he said that his finger slipped a pink heart popping up on the screen.

“No.”

“Oh shit!” He sat up quickly. It was a photo of her on the beach sitting up on her knees her hands up blocking the sun from her face. He liked a fucking Bikini post from 6 months ago.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” He groaned. What if he unliked it? She still see it. No that was stupid.

The sound of his door opening made if head turn. “Everything alright Kei!” His mother asked.

“Yeah. Im great just people,” he spoke taking a deep breath before talking to him mom again “I’m alright sorry for worrying you.” He spoke. She nodded closing the door.

“No fucking way!”

“What a little stalker.” She spoke softly her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

“Who’s a stalker?”

“Nobody. Some kid I met a little over a week ago.” Yn spoke to her older brother.

He groaned pushing off the doorway. She laughed lightly pressing on his profile. Not a very out there guy hmm.. he had a few post. Her thumb lingered over the follow button, “fuck it.” Pressing it setting her phone down.

The little buzz of her phone making her smirk, peeking at her phone ‘keitsukiishima_07’ followed you back.

She picked up her phone a giddy grin on her face, opening the messages. Oh she was about to give this kid so much shit.

She couldn’t help but laugh, lord he was dry tho.

Tsukishima on the other hand threw his phone on his bed the blonde now standing up, “so stupid.”

Yet when he found himself back in his bed he opened the chat once more, only to close it. No. He’s going to bed. Forgetting about what just happened and going to sleep. If only it was that easy, tossing and turning but he couldn’t sleep, he’d being lying if he wasn’t waiting for another text.

Didn’t matter what it was. But he’d be damned if he text her.

She wasn’t much different, but she waited till the next day.

“Kuroo are we inviting Karasuno to the summer camp?” She asked standing infront of his desk.

He looked up at her his face scrunching “I think.”

“Why-“

“Thank you!” She spoke leaving his classroom.

Maybe she didn’t have to wait as long as she thought to see him. Her summer break go free labored babysitting wouldn’t be to bad. She’d have a first year to pick on.

It was wierd how she found herself back looking at those three post, one of him reading a book somthing his friends probably took, the two other of him on a hike. A taller women, blonde, standing next to him, his mom she guessed how he held her just as close as she did him a half smile on his face. One most would think is fake and forced but it was genuine Tsukishima Kei was a mamas boy.

Her eyes scanned the phone as she continued to look, a notification popping up.

‘Tetsu(hater)😒’

‘Your ex is gonna be at the camp wanted to give you heads up!’

Her once smile dropping. Gross. Common, I mean sure he’s part of a team that’s friends but common. She was thankful for the heads up but she felt sick. He was gonna be there at that camp for 2 almost 3 weeks. God damn it. She could feel tears weld up in her eyes, she hated it. They’ve been apart for over 5 months. And now she had to see his stupid fucking face. It made her sick.

Felt as if she would spill her guts.

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu tsukki #hq kei tsukishima #tsukishima kei x you #kei tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader

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ijustwantogohomehogwarts · 9 months

Text

b r o t h e r | f u c k e r

Y/n and Regulus have been hiding their relationship for a few reasons, but Y/n is starting to get frustrated having to hide it from one of her best friends, and her boyfriend’s brother. They finally decide to tell him, and things don’t go exactly as planned.

Warnings and such: 18+ MINORS DNI!! Illusions to sex (nothing explicit), some steamy stuff, tons of fluff, a good bit of angst, defiantly brotherly angst and teasing, swearing, not proof read...I think its funny!

Word Count: 3427

(I’m not going to always add this, but this one is rather long)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“I think he knows...”

My head was resting on Regulus’ bare chest, fingers tracing the freckles on his sweat dampened skin. I could feel my own skin get warmer as I spoke. He was rubbing painstakingly gently at bruise he left on my hip. I know he felt bad about it, and he would continue to feel bad about it as it healed, but it didn’t hurt.

“You could just tell him, stop lying about it...”

Regulus laughed. “I’m not lying about anything, but why do I have to tell him?!”

I untangled myself from the sheets and his limbs. A dull ache in my hips sent another wave of heat though my body. I straddled his lap, reaching down to grab his t shirt from off the floor and slipping it over my head. He exaggerated a frown as I sat up, hands falling onto my thighs, thumbs rubbing circles across the love bites. His frown quickly vanished; a proud, cocky smile taking it’s place.

“He is your brother after all.”

“You were friends with him before you met me.”

I rocked my hips gently as I leaned over, thumb tracing his jaw line before pushing his chin away. His head fell to the side, exposing his neck with no hesitation. What a push over!

“This is true” I sighed, licking from his collar bone up to his jaw. Regulus shuttered, his grip on my thighs tightened immensely. I smiled into his skin, giving a gentle kiss to his pulse point “Would you rather I tell him,” I kissed his neck again, “every,” a little lower, “little,” a little lower, “detail?” I smiled to myself before biting down on his collar bone, my tongue immediately soothing the skin.

Regulus sucked in a deep breath through gritted teeth, holding it for a moment before I began kissing my way up his neck again. His chest shook slightly as he exhaled, the air getting caught in his lungs as he tried to 'play it cool.' I kissed his pulse point again, one hand coming up to tug at a few curls behind his neck before holding his jaw in place.

“Well?”

I didn’t give him a chance to answer before going to work, determined to leave a hickey on one of the most sensitive parts of his skin. He wasn’t a fan of the aftermath, but this man was a puddle beneath me, willing to do anything I asked of him as long as I didn’t stop my attack on his neck. His hips bucked as he groaned loudly.

“Fuck-” he managed, hands pushing and pulling at my hips, willing himself to not leave another bruise on me, but loosing terribly.

When I was satisfied, I littered gentle kisses across the rest of his face, intentionally avoiding his lips, though I couldn’t help but kiss the corners of his mouth.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He muttered, eyes closed, but the smile on his face told me that if this was how he was going to die, he wasn’t going to complain.

“I’m sorry, love.” I whispered against his lips, careful to pull away before he could reach me. I got off of him quickly, grabbing a pair of underwear out of my dresser and shutting myself in the bathroom.

I could hear Regulus throwing himself against the bed. I laughed. *(Think Elio in CMBYN when he gets caught...)*

I emerged a few moments later and watched Regulus from the bathroom door. He was flat out on his back, long, dark curls falling gently on the pillow behind him, his chest rising and falling steadily. The fingers on one hand pinched the bridge of his nose, his other hand lay just below the waistband of his boxers. I couldn’t tell what was sweat and what was saliva, but his skin glistened in the sun- he looked like a sex-ravished God. This is how I would forever picture Regulus Arcturus Black.

“Reggie?” I sauntered over to him, unsure if he was still awake.

“Don’t touch me,” he peeked at me with one eye and smirked.

He rolled over, reaching for a glass of water on the table. I could see the red lines down his back, the small crescent shaped spots just above his hips - the marks made from my fingers.

“Shit!” I whispered, finger tips gently tracing the marks. “Baby, I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be,” he rolled back over, glass in hand and sat up. “I like these ones. You on the other hand,”

He pulled his my t shirt so I was standing closer, raised the hem of it and rubbed his thumb across the same bruise. I looked down at it too. I admit- it looked really bad. It was already many shades of purple, the darkest of them in the center.

“I promise Reg, it really doesn’t hurt!” He eyes searched my face, trying to find a trace of uncertainty- or anything that told him I was lying. He sighed, looking at the mark again. “Here,” I grabbed his wand off the floor (Why was it on the floor? And when did that happen?!) pointed it at my hip, and watched him as he watched it disappear entirely.

“That’s not the same,” he pouted, “but thank you.”

I bent down to kiss him, but just before I reached his lips, his hand found my face, stopping me in my tracks.

“I have a question,”

“Hmm?”

“What do you mean by ‘every little detail’?”

His lips barely touched mine as he spoke, but I could feel the smirk on his mouth. Before I could respond, I was falling to the bed, Regulus laying between my legs, his weight a comfort on my still sore body. He held himself up on one arm, the other tracing over my sides, leaving goosebumps in its wake. I didn’t answer him, I don’t think he actually intended for me to have an answer- he just wanted to prove I didn’t have full control over him.

I reached up, carding my fingers through his hair, and enjoying the comfortable silence.

“Do you really think he knows?” Regulus finally spoke, his head resting in his hand.

I shrugged

“Sort of...I think he knows I’m lying when I tell him I can’t be somewhere with them, but he doesn’t bring it up. And he isn’t actually mad he just...”

“Does that Sirius thing?” He smiled

“Yeah, exactly!”

Regulus scooched up higher, resting his forehead against mine and took a deep breath.

“We should tell him...I’ve never hid anything from him before in my life, and I don’t want to start now. Not with you. I don’t want to feel like I have to hide you.”

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, my legs wrapping around his hips. Regulus laughed into my chest, falling on his side so we were, again, face to face. He held my gaze, fingers tucking loose stands of hair behind my ears. I returned the favor.

“How?” He spoke, barely above a whisper.

“Quietly,” I smiled. “I could have him come here...”

“When?”

“Whenever you want?”

“Can we do it now? Before I change my mind?”

My eyes widened- I would have thought he would try to push this off as long as possible. Regulus Black was a very rational person; everything he did was well thought out and planned in advance. Nothing was spur of the moment, and I had never known him to do anything that required the spontaneous attention of his brother- or any attention from his brother for that matter, though I know he missed having it.

“Y-yeah. I can ask him to meet me- us here.” I tried to sound confident, but suddenly I was nervous too. Regulus nodded, rolling over on his back.

I got out of bed, scribbled down a quick message to Sirius, and sent the paper bird on it’s way. Instantly, I regretted it. Not for any reason other than the state of my room.

“Reggie?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think he’s going to know we were having sex?”

He looked around- school robes and random articles of clothing littered the room. The bed sheets were in a pile, blankets on the floor, and the atmosphere reeked of lust and desperation (though I didn’t mind so much.) The boy dissolved into a fit of nervous laughter, scrambling to his feet.

“Go shower, I will clean this up!” Regulus spun around in a circle a few times, evidently suddenly overwhelmed. “Reg! Go!” He looked at me, hands on either side of my face and kissed me deeply. My hands held his wrist, and in that moment, I couldn’t care if Sirius showed up- well....

The shower turned on and I immediately set to work trying to straighten out my room. Regulus and I were usually never this carefree and messy, but last night we saw no reason to bother. After finding my wand under a blanket on the floor, I remember I could use magic! The shower turned off just as I was finishing up-

*knock* *knock*

No turning back now

I opened the door and smiled at Sirius. I stepped aside, trying to collect my thoughts as he walked in, shutting the door behind him. Before I could say anything he looked at the bathroom, light on, steam pushing its way out from under the door, then back at me, quizzically. He looked me over from my head to my feet, clearly noticing that I had not in fact been in the shower, but someone had- or still was. His face lit up and he pointed excitedly.

“Is this what you’ve been doing- is this who you’ve been doing?!” He whispered.

“Sirius!” I tried not to laugh. Before I could say anything else, the bathroom door opened.

Regulus emerged, hair dripping and shirtless. He turned to the dresser just outside the bathroom, having not noticed Sirius or I standing on the other side of the room. We, however, could still see the marks on his back. Shit.

“As-tu vu mon pull, mon amour?”

“No!” Sirius screeched, which caused Regulus to jump.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

Sirius made for the door, but I waved my wand, slamming it in his face and making sure it stayed locked.

“You’re joking! Please tell me you’re joking?!”

“Sirius-”

“Oh no, Reggie! Don’t you start with me!”

“Sirius!”

“And you!” I stood tall, holding my ground, despite the fact he was quite a bit taller than me. Sirius backed away slightly. “I’ll come back to that.”

He turned back to Regulus and looked at him for a while before;

“Qui pensez-vous être?! (Who do you think you are?!) Elle est ma meilleure amie! (She’s my best friend!) Je n’y crois pas! (I don’t believe this!) ENFOIRE! (Motherfucker/bastard) Je veux dire c’est génial, mon meilleur ami et mon frère…(I mean it’s awesome, my best friend and my brother) MAIS ALLEZ! (BUT COME ON!) Mon meilleur ami et mon frère! (my best friend and my brother!) Si tu lui brises le cœur, je devrai te tuer! (If you break her heart, I’ll have to kill you!) Oh, mais et si elle rompait avec toi? (Oh, but what if she broke up with you?) Je ne peux pas la tuer, c’est ma meilleure amie…(I can’t kill her, she’s my best friend…) Mais c’est “bros” avant- (But it’s “bros” before-)

“Sirius!” Regulus finally stopped him, somewhere between laughing and ready to strangle his brother. Meanwhile, I had resorted to sitting on the bed, Sirius’ pacing had made me dizzy, and my French wasn’t good enough to keep up.

Sirius looked up, annoyed that his ramblings had been interrupted.

“Quoi?! Je n’allais pas le dire! (What?! I wasn’t going to say it!)”

“English! Please!” Sirius narrowed his eyes and looked at me, then back at Regulus who had just found a shirt to wear.

“Did you do that to him?” He asked, pointing to Regulus’ back. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, embarrassment washing over me. That was an intimate detail I would have preferred to stay hidden.

“Padfoot-”

“Because if you did, please teach Remus!” I was at an absolute loss for words. Sirius’ expression was stone cold, unyielding and sharp, but I genuinely couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not?!\

“Wait- what?” Regulus asked, scratching his head

“I’m gay, idiot! Keep up!”

“WHAT?!”

“This is about you, not me. Focus Reggie for fucks sake!”

Regulus sat down and looked at the ground like he was trying to take in an entire year’s lecture 5 minutes before final exams.

“Okay, no- separate, please.” Sirius motioned for us to sit farther apart on the bed. Regulus didn’t look up, but I rolled my eyes, not amused.

“Are you mad?” I asked him after a few minutes of silence.

“I don’t know yet,” he said, as he began to pace again. “Am I the last one to know?”

“First,” Regulus chimed in, still not looking up.

“I’m the first?!” He pretended to get choked up “I’m so honored you guys I-”

“Don’t make it weird.”

“And please don’t say anything! We want to tell people, just,” I held Regulus’ hand “Not yet.” He looked up at me and smiled, squeezing my hand a little tighter.

“Okay, that’s kind of cute.”

It was an overwhelming feeling, having both brothers here at the same time. I don’t think they had spoken to each other in about a year, and while they both wanted to mend their relationship, neither knew where to start. I couldn’t imagine, let alone have planned that I would be, quite literally, the center of all of this! I didn’t know if this would ultimately hurt their relationship even further, strain my relationship with one or both of them or worse- both.

“How long has this been going on, because y/n, you’re a shitty liar, but you’ve been sticking to the same bullshit for a while now!”

“Sirius,” Regulus sighed, running a hand through his still damp hair. “Y/n and I have been friends since day one-”

“Really?”

“Don’t interrupt.”

“Sorry-”

“But we didn’t start…”

“Bumping uglies?”

“For fucks sake, Sirius!”

Note to self: kill Remus for teaching Sirius muggle slang. And apparently; only the bad ones.

“Sorry! Sorry. I meant ‘passionately making…’no, I can’t say that, somehow it’s worse.”

Regulus groaned and threw a pillow at him, somehow managing to hit him in the head.

“We’ve been…together for a few months now…it started before then, but officially…”

“Wait, so this is like, official, official?!”

“Why would we tell you if it wasn’t?!”

We talked for a while longer, answered the genuine questions Sirius had, and made him promise not to say anything to anyone. We knew he would tell Remus, but Remus was great at keeping secrets. Eventually, Sirius decided he wanted to leave, and Regulus had promised Evan, Barty and Pandora that he would study with them. I knew he would be back later tonight, but it still felt weird letting him leave, like things wouldn’t be the same now that someone knew.

“If you get bored, come study with us, yeah?” I nodded shyly. “Oh come on now, you were quite bold this morning! Don’t tell me that's going to change!” He kissed my cheek, keeping his lips close to my ear “Because I fucking loved it!” He kissed me again and set off on his way.

---

A few hours passed and dinner was drawing near. I was famished from the days activities, and decided to force someone to go eat with me, seeing as Regulus wouldn’t be back until later, not that he and I ever went together, and I wouldn’t know what to say to Sirius if I was alone with him.

Much to my relief, Lily and James were sitting in the Gryffindor common room.

“Hey, Y/N!” James smiled, peeling his attention away from Lily for a brief moment.

“Hey guys! Seen Remus anywhere?”

They both looked at each other but shook their heads

“Library?” Lily suggested. I said goodbye and made my way across the castle.

There were only a few students when I arrived, thankfully, but Regulus, Evan, Bary, Remus and Sirius were all sitting in the back corner, though at separate tables. Regulus looked up when I walked in, mouthed a small ‘hi’ and smiled. I could see Sirius glaring out of the corner of my eye. I made my way to the Gryffindors.

Remus smiled as I sat down.

“He told you, didn’t he.”

“Yep!”

I kicked Sirius under the table.

“Hey! He doesn’t count!”

“Oi!” Remus kicked him under the table.

“Okay, fuck you guys!”

A few moments passed and I could hear the boys at the table behind us begin to pack up.

“Remus, wanna grab dinner?”

“Definitely!”

“Hey!” Sirius whispered, “You can’t have my brother AND my boyfriend.”

“Yes she can!” Remus smiled. Sirius glared.

We all walked out of the library and Sirius held the door, stepping though it behind me so his brother had to hold the door for himself.

“You know, y/n, I’ve been thinking,”

“I had no part in whatever he’s about to say, I swear!” Remus threw his hands up in self defense.

“Shut up. Anyway, We’ve all got nicknames, and even though you belong to a lesser house-”

“I have full access to the kitchens-”

“As I was saying, even though you belong to the second greatest house, you’re our best friend!”

Meilleur ami.

“Thank you?”

“I’ve been thinking really hard about this one, so tell me what you think,” Sirius slowed down so we were within earshot of the boys behind us. He cleared his throat, evidently about to make a grand gesture. “Brother-fucker.” He said proudly, bowing elaborately as he continued to walk.

The boys behind us stopped (one of them anyway), Remus nearly choked on the chocolate frog he was shoving in his mouth, and I was trying to decide whether or not to laugh or punch him in the mouth. Sirius was doubled over laughing, and after a moment, I realized he meant nothing cruel by the name.

I sighed, and laughed a little, trying to steal a glance at Regulus, but didn’t dare to turn around entirely. We continued walking, and it seemed as though Evan and Barty were none the wise to what had just been said. I threw an arm around Remus’ shoulder and glared at Sirius.

“Hey, Moony?”

“No!” Sirius tried to protest, horrified.

“Sirius has a secret kink I think you should know about!”

“No!” Sirius continued to protest, trying to get in between Remus and I. It was clear Remus knew what I was doing and, thankfully, he was on board with it.

“Oh is that right? Do tell! And please don’t spare any details!”

I heard Regulus snort behind me. An overwhelming feeling of relief washed over me. I knew it would still take time for Sirius to come to terms with me and his brother, and eventually we would have to tell the others, but that was a worry for another day. Sirius had taken it surprisingly well, and he was the biggest worry.

As we entered the great all, the Slytherin boys veered off to the left, and I was finally able to steal a glance at Reggie, who looked incredibly happy as he winked at me, exaggerating a stretch which showed off a small, red and purple bruise on the side of neck. My entire body felt flooded for the 100th time today- I had completely forgotten to hide that! He smiled at me again, pulled a curl down to hide the mark and walked with his head high, proud and poised.

I could see past it though, the image of him this morning looking like a sex-ravished God still burned in my mind-

“Hello?! Earth to brother-fucker? You’re drooling!”

I dragged my attention away from Regulus and back to his brother, who followed my line of sight and pretended to gag.

“Disgusting.”

“Moony!”

“No!”

375 notes · View notes

pieheda · 5 months

Text

So, I realized only after watching the Todd In The Shadows video AND the hbomberguy video that I, too, have caught James Somerton just making shit up.

I’m not going to cite actual video titles because he changes them all the time anyway so why bother, but he has one that’s about Angels in America and Rent. This is my jam, I’m a theater gay, so I watched them - and immediately felt like the main thesis would fail an English 101 class. The thesis was “people have the misperception that Rent was made before Angels in America, and why is that?” which is not a thing that people believe, actually. At least, not people who know how google works and can just look up release dates. I found myself thinking that maybe he and some friends were surprised at this, and he decided it was a widely held misperception. But I kept watching the video, and when talking about how popular Rent was when it premiered on Broadway, he said that it was taboo to even mention AIDS at the time.

That is completely untrue. I was an adult in 1996 when Rent was released on Broadway, and AIDS was no longer a taboo subject in the US. There is plenty of data out there to support this, but I think it’s particularly compelling that in 1993, the movie Philadelphia, about a man suing his employers for firing him upon learning that he has HIV, was an enormous box office hit. It won Tom Hanks and Bruce Springsteen both Oscars, for Best Actor and Best Original Song. The Oscars aren’t very daring, perhaps you’ve heard. They aren’t big on giving out awards for things that everyone is terrified to talk about.

In another video that is cited by Todd in the Shadows, I realized that I had ALSO caught James making shit up in that one. When I watched the video for Red, White, and Royal Blue, James said that all these straight women wanted gay romance without sex and I laughed and said “they most definitely do not want that”, because I’m a fan girl and I’ve seen AO3. No research needed to debunk that, most if not all women who knowingly consume gay romance absolutely want there to be some fucking. The only person who would complain about that would be some exceptionally clueless homophobe who accidentally stumbled into this movie.

Both of those things, when I saw them, made me shake my head and say “that’s just not true.” I even commented on the Rent video.

What I did not do is think hard about what exactly is going on here. My opinion of Somerton went down with each of those discoveries, but it wasn’t very high to begin with; I never have liked his presentation style, because of how often he talks down to the people he’s discussing or to his audience. But frankly, there’s a lot of content out there that plays free and loose with the facts or starts with a bad premise (“people have this misperception” with no evidence of that isn’t far off from “Marvel fans on twitter hate this movie!” followed by only 5 tweets cited in the article). I just accept that people lie on the internet, I didn’t expect better. I didn’t stop to consider that gays really should do better, particularly we should not lie to one another about gay culture and history, and ESPECIALLY not when claiming to be doing what we do for the purpose of uplifting gays. I didn’t google to see if there were other issues with him, because if I had I would have learned about him getting into it with Jessie Gender and wouldn’t have given him a view ever again.

We’ve reached such a garbage state that I overlooked that. Seeing everything he’s done all lined up in these two videos had a real impact on me. Todd is absolutely right that it’s abominable to add to all the misinformation in the world, and hbomberguy is right that it’s particularly egregious for James to rob from gay writers who don’t have the funds and attention that James does. But it’s especially bad to just make shit up about gay history and the current state of gay acceptance, particularly when James constantly had the perspective that it’s always bad and gay men always have it the worst. Most likely the “everyone hates gays like me especially” was a calculated choice to create an attitude of persecution within his fandom so that they would accuse anyone calling him out of homophobia. But misinformation about acceptance is ALSO harmful to our community. It’s harmful to go around believing that people are out to get you when they aren’t. The cost of damaged mental health is ALSO important.

And he coldly exploited that because there’s a stupid fucking app that is tailor made for grifters to make cash hand over fist by confirming their audience’s worst fears and creating new anxieties in them. It’s absolutely ghoulish.

#hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #james somerton

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babydollmarauders · 1 year

Text

TEENAGER IN LOVE — TREVOR ZEGRAS

trevor zegras x fem! hughes!reader

pt. 2

request: “hi! can i request something with trevor zegras with the prompts 20 and 23 please? thanks sm!! 💗”

20. “can we stay like this forever?”

23. “sleep over? please?”

summary: in which y/n reminisces on how her and Trevor started their secret relationship.

notes: i changed up prompt 23 a little bit to make it fit better, i hope that’s okay!

i was listening to Teenager in Love by Madison Beer quite a bit while writing this so…

Trevor and y/n are in an established relationship during the first little “present” scene.

reader is 20 in the present and 19 in the flashback.

**PRESENT**

i’ve never felt comfortable on planes. it doesn’t matter where i’m sat or what i’m wearing or who i’m with, i don’t like planes. my family knows this, my friends know this, anyone who will listen to me talk knows this, my brother however, simply does not care. and now i’m stuck on the Devils charter plane, not even sat next to Jack because he’s busy sat next to Dougie, talking about some video game they both play. so i’m left beside Jesper Bratt, who’s already asleep after only being in the air for maybe half an hour.

i didn’t intend to even tag along on this road game to California, but i moved in with Jack a couple months ago and he apparently didn’t trust me to stay in New Jersey by myself, citing his reasoning as “i don’t want any chance of you having boys in this apartment.” but the joke is on him, because he’s really just providing me with a trip to see the only guy he should be remotely worried about, Trevor.

as the only girl, growing up with three brothers, they’ve always been a bit overprotective. and by a bit, i mean a lot. even Luke, who’s a year younger than me, has had his fair share of threatening guys “in the name of my safety.” all of their friends have gotten the “if you even so much as look at my sister, i’ll make sure you never see anything again” spiel, and for a good nineteen years, their friends respected that. until Jack’s best friend, Trevor, and i were left alone for a night at the lake house last summer.

**FLASHBACK**

all the guys have left for a party down the road, they even took Luke along with them for his first party as an eighteen year old, and i’m looking forward to a quiet night of watching romcom’s on the couch with no judgment and no one complaining that “that would never happen in real life!”

decked out in one of Quinn’s oversized Canucks shirts, pajama shorts, and some fuzzy socks; i’m lounged on the couch, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket burrito. i’m just about to hit play on a movie on netflix when the front door opens and shuts and i hear footsteps getting closer to the living room. averting my gaze from the tv, i look over in time to see Trevor freeze in the doorway to the living room, and i become acutely aware of my current state of no makeup and probably looking like a dork with my blanket draped over the top of my head.

i’ve never had a problem acting normal around any of my brothers’ friends. usually, they’re all just like extended family, unwanted additional older brothers. except Trevor. when Jack first brought him home during their USNTDP days, i immediately got a schoolgirl crush. and unlike usual crushes, it’s only gotten worse with time. luckily, Quinn and Jack have never seemed to notice my awkward and shy behavior when Trevor is around, but Luke has and he’s made it his mission to send me scowls and snicker at my misfortune whenever it happens.

“oh hey.” he cocks his head in one those ‘sup’ nods and takes a glance towards the tv screen before fixing his gaze back on me.

“hey. what are you doing back already? are the others coming back too? i can go back into my room. i don’t wanna be a bother or anything.” cue the embarrassing rambles.

“nah, it’s just me. feeling kinda homesick, i don’t really wanna be at a party tonight.” he shrugs his shoulder and sits on the arm of the couch next to me. “whatcha watching?”

“oh, i was just gonna watch a romcom, but it’s fine, i can watch it in my room. you can have the tv if you want.” i have to crane my neck some to look up at him from my spot. “i can leave you alone.”

i start to stand up, still wrapped in my blanket burrito when Trevor grabs the back of the blanket and tugs me back down onto the couch. he stands and walks in front of me before taking a spot on the cushion next to me.

“so, what romcom are we watching?” he asks, kicking his legs up on the coffee table in front of us.

“you don’t have to watch it. we can watch something else, if you want.”

trevor’s only answer comes in actions, grabbing the remote from my hands and clicking play on the movie. i don’t bother to fight him anymore, allowing myself to get sucked into the movie instead.

i’m sat rigid throughout the entire movie, keeping aware of my limbs, not letting any stray too far towards the cushion beside me. and about halfway through the movie i remember how weird i must look and move the blanket onto my lap instead of wrapped around me. i can barely focus on anything other than the fact that Trevor is sitting next to me. the fact that i can smell his sandalwood cologne. that if i were to lay my hand next to me, i would almost be touching him.

once the movie ends, i expect him to put on something for himself or even just go to his room, but instead he turns to look at me.

“you okay?” he asks. my eyes widen slightly before i catch myself and revert them back to normal.

“yeah, why?” i try to sound calm, but my voice is slightly shaky, and i’m just hoping he didn’t notice.

“you seem uncomfortable. did i make you uncomfortable? did i do something?” i shake my head a little too violently for someone who’s supposed to be calm.

“no! i’m not uncomfortable! why would you think that? i’m cool.”

oh my god people who are cool do not say ‘i’m cool’, what is wrong with me? he chuckles and i can’t help the small smile that breaks out on my face at the sound.

“i was just checking.” he puts his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “we should play a game.”

“what game did you have in mind?”

“truth or dare? i don’t know, i’m just bored.”

“sure.” i have a feeling this will not end great for me, but i’m not about to let him know that.

“okay. truth or dare?” we turn and sit criss-cross on the couch, facing each other properly as i weigh my options.

“truth.” safest option. he takes a second to think about his question.

“okay, i got one. does it ever annoy you, how overprotective your brothers can be?”

“oh yeah. one hundred percent. they have all these rules for me; don’t drink unless we’re with you, no dating until you’re 30, don’t leave the house unless you tell us where you’re going, don’t crush on any of our friends. it’s overwhelming sometimes. and i can never stick up for myself because they’re so quick to hurt whoever hurts me, which is nice, yes, but it’s definitely taken a toll on how i present myself. it’s made me shy and my friends say i can be a crybaby sometimes because i’ve never had to handle problems on my own. like, don’t get me wrong, i’m grateful for my brothers, they’re always there for me, but sometimes it’s just too much. ya know?”

he nods, genuinely seeming interested in what i had to say, and my heart flutters.

“i can’t say i understand because i’m the older brother in my family, but i can imagine it can be difficult sometimes.”

“anyways, truth or dare?” he ponders his options before choosing dare. “i dare you to text the guys and tell them you just watched a romcom. and you CAN’T say it was with me.”

he groans and lets his head drop back for a few seconds before pulling his phone out of his pocket and typing for a minute. turning the screen so i can see what he just wrote, he lets me press the send button.

To: Jack-Attack, Huggy Bear, Moosey Hughes

just watched this great romcom on netflix called Set It Up. you guys should watch it. 10/10

i let my own head drop back in laughter and let out an ugly cackle.

“truth or dare? you evil little witch” his mocking insult rolls straight off my back when i see the smile on his face.

“truth again.” i shrug when he raises an eyebrow at my safe choice.

“have you ever broken any of your brothers rules?” my mind short circuits. there’s only one rule i’ve broken, and that’s by liking him. do i admit that? or do i just say no? technically, he didn’t say i have to say which rule i’ve broken, so-

“yes. but you can’t tell them that i have! it has to be our secret! they’d pester me to no end until they found out which one i broke!”

“okay, our secret. promise.” he holds his pinky out, waiting for me to link it with my own. a pinky swear. how adorable. fuck. i bring my own hand up, linking my pinky with his before breaking away and setting my hand back in my lap.

“truth or dare?” i ask.

“truth.” i take a few seconds to think of a question. how is this harder to think of than coming up with a dare?

“what’s your favorite part about the off season?” it’s a relatively boring question, but the first one i thought of.

“oh that’s easy. coming here. i love spending time with you guys.” more heart flutters, i may need to get that checked out. “truth or dare?”

“don’t kill me; truth.” i joke and he laughs again.

“i should’ve expected that, shouldn’t i? alright, if you wanna keep doing truth, i’m just gonna dig deeper and deeper until you tell me your darkest secret, y/n. which rule did you break?” my stomach drops. can i forfeit? can i plead the fifth? is that a thing that you can do in truth or dare? i wouldn’t know, this is my first time playing. i think i’m just gonna have to say it. it’s not like he’ll ever know it’s him.

“you can’t tell them! remember that!” i remind him before admitting- “having a crush on one of their friends.”

his jaw drops and he lets out a completely fake gasp.

“that is not what i was expecting. i expected you to say the drinking rule or the telling them where you go rule. how scandalous, y/n! a forbidden romance!” his jokes make me feel slightly better, at least he’s not judging me.

“yeah, yeah! it’s not like i’m dating the guy.” i defend myself. “truth or dare, Zegras?”

“dare, i’m feeling adventurous.”

“i dare you to go in Jacks room and steal my book back for me. he took it away from me because he said reading was boring and this trip isn’t allowed to be boring.” he bursts out in laughter, barely able to form words for a few minutes before he speaks again.

“oh you’ve got me doing your dirty work for you! i respect it!” he leaps up from the couch and within a couple minutes he’s back on the couch, my book in his hand. he tosses it on my lap and throws a wink my way. “one book for the lady.”

“my sanity thanks you. i can’t start another book until i’ve finished this one and it was killing me slowly.”

“truth or dare? although, i don’t know why i bother asking at this point.” i roll my eyes at his sarcasm and decide to throw him a curveball. mostly for myself though because i have a feeling i know what his next question would be if i pick truth.

“dare.” he grins, and for a second i regret my choice.

“i dare you to tell me which friend you were or are crushing on. c’mon, i can keep your secret.” he asked it anyways. what the hell. i don’t think you can do that. can you do that?

“that’s basically a truth! i picked dare! that’s cheating!”

“it is not!” now it’s his turn to defend himself. “i DARED you to tell me! i promise i won’t judge you, or laugh, or tell your brothers!”

oh god, i’m gonna have to tell him, aren’t i? i mean, i could always just say one of the other guys. i could say Alex, he’s always been the sweetest to me, so i’m sure Trevor would believe it. but then he might say something. it’s not that i wouldn’t trust him to keep it a secret if i say someone else, but Trevor has a big mouth, and sometimes he talks without thinking. he could slip up. so it’s smarter not to lie, to avoid any trouble or confusion. so i close my eyes and count to ten before i say it. here goes nothing.

“you.” i still don’t open my eyes. too afraid of his reaction. but now he’s quiet and i don’t like the silence. oh god, is he disgusted? is he trying trying to figure out how to let me down gently? “don’t get weird. you don’t have to say anything. you can just forget you heard that. pretend you didn’t hear any-“

i’m cut off by his mouth crashing down onto mine. i freeze, overthinking everything, before eventually melting into the kiss. moving my lips against his. it’s slow and sweet, and not at all the reaction i was expecting from him. we pull apart and i allow my eyes to flutter back open, watching his face as he slowly breathes in and out. he catches my eye and a wide grin spreads across his face.

“i’ve wanted to do that since high school.” his hands grip my hips and i let him pull me onto his lap, straddling him. butterflies are flying around in my stomach and my heart is pounding against my chest, but i let my body relax into his.

“really?”

“yeah.” he confirms, leaning his forehead against my own. “the first time Jack had me over to your house, he gave this whole lecture about how you were off limits. and i thought ‘no problem.’ but then i saw you, and i got to know you, and it turned out to be a big problem. you’re so beautiful, and then you turned to be this sweet, funny, amazing girl. and god, i could not get you out of my head. i still can’t.”

this time it’s my turn to plant a kiss on his lips, this one a chaste peck. i slouch down and lay my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“can we stay like this forever?” i ask, but before he can answer, his phone buzzes on the cushion beside us, and he picks it up and curses.

“Jack just texted to say they’ll be home soon. he said Cole is wasted and they need to put him to bed.” i pull back and nod my head, moving to get off him. but he wraps his arms around my middle and holds us chest-to-chest. “do you want me to tell him you’re asleep? you can come in my room. we can just cuddle, nothing else necessary. but i just got you, and now i just wanna hold you.”

i smile and nod again, silently saying a thank you to whatever higher entity above granted me such luck as to have him like me back.

“yeah, i’d like that.” we get off the couch and make our way to his room, remembering to turn the tv off on our way out of the living room. he opens the door to his room and allows me to enter first before he comes in.

“you can go ahead and lay down, i’m just gonna change into some sweats first.” he walks over to his opened suitcase on the floor and pulls out a pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt before leaving the room, going into the bathroom across the hall. i do as he says and lay down on his bed, on my side facing the door.

it’s not but a moment after he gets back into the room and shuts the door, that we hear the front door of the house open and shut, followed by multiple pairs of footsteps and some mumbling.

“jesus Cole, you could help me out here and actually move your feet.” i can hear Quinn say as he passes by Trevor’s door, i’m assuming helping Cole to his room. Trevor snickers and comes over to the bed, clicking off the lamp before laying down behind me and putting his arm around my middle, pulling me close against him. after about 15 minutes i can feel his breath start to even out, and i look over my shoulder to see his eyes fluttering open and shut, obviously having trouble staying awake.

“you can go to sleep, Trev. i’ll go to my room once i know they’re all in theirs.” i whisper.

“no. sleep over here? please? i wanna hold you tonight.” his voice is soft and low so we don’t get caught, but also laced with sleepiness. i shake my head.

“what if one of them finds us in the morning? you know how my brothers will react.” at my words, he pulls his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and taps a few times before leaning over me and plugging it in on the nightstand.

“there. i set an alarm for 7am. you know the guys won’t even wake up before 10, so that gives us plenty of time for you to go back to your room before they can catch us.” i sigh and snuggle back into him.

“alright. i’ll sleep in here.” he plants a kiss on an exposed spot between my neck and shoulder and i can feel his smile on my skin.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras x reader #nhl imagine #nhl fic #faithlynn’s writings <3 #babydollmarauders #anaheim ducks #teenage dream au <3

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unbearablebow · 3 months

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Told you | Jonathan Breech x reader

Summary: Your best friend, Jonathan, refuses to put on the heating despite it being fucking freezing. Warnings: the fact I haven’t rewatched this movie so he's probably out of character. Joking about mental health and intentional misuse of psychopath/insane. Mentions of sex. (No use of y/n or any gendered terms) Word count 1.8k

"I think I'm dying," I murmured, duvet covering all but my face "Genuinely, how do you live like this?"

I was maybe being slightly overdramatic but to be fair- Jonathan Breech's apartment was fucking freezing. I could actually see my breath in the air- like genuinely see it like I was outside and not in a supposedly warm apartment. I shuddered and grumbled in annoyance, pulling the duvet tighter around myself. Jonathan stared down at me, arms crossed in his large knitted sweater "It's not that bad," he argued, an annoyingly sweet smirk on his lips as he took in my cocooned figure "Look, sweetheart, I'd love to turn the heating on-really I would but I'm not exactly rolling in it right now.”

He was annoyingly relaxed about this, his usual complaints and arguments that fill up conversations seemed to have disappeared as he smirked down at me- an air of arrogance and humour at the situation, or at least in my suffering as I pulled his duvet impossibly tighter around myself and let out another overdramatic shudder.

"Cant you get your brother to help you out?" I suggested meekly.

"You have a house of your own."

"An accommodation," I corrected icily "Filled with psychopaths."

Jonathan smirked at this, pushing my legs off the sofa surprisingly gently and sitting down next to me "How'd you know I'm not the psychopath? You know I went to a mental institution right?"

I wiggled up, resting my duvet-covered shoulder against his and looking at him "That's different," I argued, watching as he stared intently back at me, that same focused blue-eyed gaze he always has, joking about something bad that happened to him as if it doesn’t hurt. I stiffened as I quickly as I add “And even if you were, you're my best mate."

"Gooey."

"Fucking what?"

"Gooey," he repeated, chuckling as he wrapped an arm around me, grinning stupidly. "Come on, don't hog the duvet, I'll warm you up," Reluctantly I opened the duvet, letting him slide in next to me, his knitted sweater (one of many) tickled against my arm and I groaned in annoyance "What's that about?"

"You're tickling me," I whined as his surprisingly warm hands gripped around my waist and pulled me closer, tucking my head onto his shoulder "Are you like, secretly a lizard or something? how are you so warm?" I mumble into his shoulder, feeling myself warm up already.

"How are you so cold more like," He teased, absentmindedly stroking my waist under the duvet "You know we could go to the pub or something right? You don't have to stay in my apartment all day being cold."

I relaxed slightly against him, cheek brushed up against his jumper as my nose was filled with the familiar Jonathan scent I'd grown to appreciate throughout our friendship "I don't want to drink today."

"Fine, you could watch me drink," He chuckled, hand moving to my shoulder and stroking through my tee "I don't get how you can complain about being cold when you turn up here in a t-shirt."

Our closeness was starting to make my brain buzz, his firm fingers repeatedly stroking and caressing my skin in a way that was so... totally Jonathan, kind and caring and definitely intended as a platonic gesture. An almost tender break from his usual jokey, carefree nature. "It's not my fault I assumed you actually turned on the heating in this stupid flat."

"You could try not complaining and come out with me and actually do something today instead.” He pointed out, fingers still dancing along my arm under the duvet as he furrowed his brows in mock annoyance "I know a great place in town where it can be just you and me and a couple of beers-"

"I’m not doing drugs with you," I reminded him, eyes narrowing as he smirked down at me "Besides I don't want to go anywhere I just wanna stay here."

There's a distinct confusion in his eyes, a kind of blank expression of bewilderment "Why on earth do you just wanna stay in?" There he is, the guy who can't fathom why anyone would want a quiet night in when they can distract their brains for the entire night in a club or a pub- or whatever places he wanders off to in the night.

"Sorry for wanting to spend the evening chilling with my best mate?" I stared back at him, nudging him under the duvet, my chest now nestled neatly against his "Besides, you're warming me up." I add, trying to match his playful attitude.

His blank expression was replaced quickly with a smug one, tugging me closer "Oh yeah? Your own human hot water bottle, right?"

"Exactly." I grinned in agreement, letting my own arms wrap around his waist as I closed my eyes, enjoying his body heat. One hand stroked my shoulder, the other reaching out of the duvet to stroke hair out of my face.

A comfortable silence fell between the both of us as he continued to stroke my shoulder and arm, seemingly happy with his new role as a human hot water bottle. When I met Jonathan originally, the charismatic guy who kept ‘borrowing’ pens in lectures I wouldn’t have expected him to be so… gentle, sometimes. But to my surprise, this gentleness happened a lot. His more vulnerable side poking out whenever I needed it, like right now, humming as he held me.

A gentle kiss against my forehead, another soft squeeze, the thought popped into my head before I had time to think it through “Jon?”

“Yeah?”

What was I thinking? No, no absolutely not. Not happening. I quickly mumbled “Nothing, sorry.”

A laugh, a stroke, another kiss on the forehead “What is it? Cat got your tongue or something? Not more complaining, is it?”

Apparently, the cold had gotten to my head, making me equally as insane as he often claimed to be as I let my hand trail down his waist and onto his hip, letting my thumb brush under his jumper and stroke his warm skin. The gesture wasn't supposed to be necessarily sexual or anything but I could tell from the way he lifted his hips up and back down, repositioning himself closer he’s heard me loud and clear. His hand on my shoulder trails down to my own hips, squeezing.

“Jon…?”

“Is this okay?” He says softly, fingers grazing under my top, my body was warm now- the mixture of his body heat and the duvet heating me up.

“Uhm- yeah. Yeah this is okay.” I mumbled.

There was an odd silence, not uncomfortable but enough to make my heartbeat speed up as his fingers played with the skin of my stomach, a focused look in his eyes as we sat together. My brain buzzed and sped into overdrive, did I want more? Was this enough? Was it too much even? Jonathan was very open about his share of hookups. And sure… that could be nice. But at the same time, the idea of being with him in that way and then not having anything else made me feel sick, I stiffened slightly.

His touch stopped immediately as he felt me tense. “What's wrong?”

“Sorry, I don't know if I’m like… into this,” I said awkwardly, watching as he gently let go of my hips and retreated back a little from me “Sorry,” I repeated, a little disappointed in losing the warmth of his touch.

“Sorry? It's okay,” he chuckled “It's no big deal.”

But it was. It was a fucking humongous big deal and he didn't seem to get that. Smiling like he always does as if nothing matters, gently patting my arm in a now clearly platonic way. Platonic platonic platonic platonic “I just don’t like hookups.” I clarified quickly, trying to make myself feel less awkward.

Another chuckle, his lips curling into a smirk as he blew air between his lips and squeezed me jokingly “Who said we were gonna hookup? You need to learn to relax.”

“Jesus Jonathan, you were fucking caressing my stomach what else am I supposed to think?” I said, annoyance slipping through as I stared at him, hurt and confused at my own reluctance.

His hand moved again, up to cup my face as he began to slowly stroke my cheek, something he usually did after we had a disagreement. “Look at me.”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?” He laughed.

“Being so kind and gentle and annoying.”

He grinned, stroking my cheek with his thumb again “Alright I’ll be mean then, how’s that sound?”

“Stop teasing me, ” I mumbled, trying not to react to the continuous circles he was making on my cheek despite the fact I could feel my face getting warmer. “Stop staring at me like that too, I hate how intense your eyes are.” It's true, his blue gaze somehow made this situation at least ten times worse. They had a habit of making me unable to focus.

“Do you wanna go drinking then?” He smiled softly, changing the subject with ease “You know I can't stand being cooped up in here.”

There it is, back to normal. Jonathan's usual deflection sinking in as his eyes brighten and I find myself staring at his stupid sideburns “Hey” I mumbled, gulping.

“Hey?” He repeated back to me, laughing still.

“If I hadn’t stopped you, would you?” I blurted out, he could probably feel me shake slightly against him, still so close under the duvet. To my surprise, he stopped laughing and smiled.

He stopped his comforting strokes too and looked seriously at me “Course.” His voice was soft and gentle, coming out so quietly I barely heard him.

Course? “Course?” I repeated back to him, confusion clear in my voice as my eyes scanned him, searching for meaning in his words, I mean sure I'd known he was into it- but it was his attitude that confused me, acting as if it was obvious how he felt. As if I know something I really had no clue about.

“I’m mad about you, you know that.”

My breathing stops momentarily as I let out a shaky laugh “No you’re not.” My confused gaze meets his confident one, eyebrow raised as he looks down at me “You-“

He pulled a face, lips curled up in a way I would usually describe as mocking but at this moment felt teasing “Was my constant flirting and petting you not obvious?”

“But you do that with everyone,” I argued, staring back at him in bewilderment “You don't like me.”

He gave me a look of mock outrage as he grinned at me “No I dont, and I’m pretty sure I do, actually," He said firmly, stroking my cheek again "Pretty sure I'm quite mad about you.”

“But I- wait seriously?”

He chuckled and suddenly soft lips met my own, instinctively I found myself melting at his touch, kissing him back as he smiled against my lips, hand drifting from my cheek to the back of my neck to hold my head as he kissed me. After a while, he pulled away, a stupid boyish grin on his lips,

“Told you.”

#jonathan breech #jonathan breech x reader #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfiction #jonathan breech fanfiction #on the edge #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #x reader fanfiction #fluff

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chervbs · 1 year

Text

the barber predicament— s. harrington

pairings: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 3.6k

synopsis: when steve complains that he can’t find a new barber after his old one retired, eddie recommends you; an old friend of his that’s a stylist. and you seem to know the way right to steve’s heart-through his hair. based on this request.

warnings: reader and eddie are besties, brief mention of eddie and max’s shitty childhoods, probably incorrect depictions on what it’s like to be a hair stylist, FLUFF to the max and terrible writing

a/n: I really really don’t like how this came out but I loved to request so much that I forced myself to finish it. everything I know I about being a hair stylist is from getting my hair done so much and from tiktok, so I tried to keep the details I wasn’t sure of vague. I apologize if anything is wrong, please let me know if it is. also I completely guessed on how much hairciuts were in the 80's so sorry if thats wrong too. otherwise, like always, i’d love any feedback you guys give me

masterlist

“Steve, I sympathize with you, I really do, but if I have to listen to you complain that you can’t find a barber for another second, I will tell Keith that you’ve been letting pretty girls get away with their late return fees.”

Steve’s jaw fell open, staring dumbfounded at Robin. “W-well, excuse me,” He stuttered, offended. “For wanting to confide in my best friend about my troubles. Truly, Robin, I don’t know why I assumed you’d be supportive.”

The blonde rolled her eyes, shaking her head lightly at her friends dramatics. “I was supportive up until the fourth time you talked about it. What’s the big deal, anyways?” She asked. “There’s like 3 different barbers in town. Go to one of them.”

Steve stared at her incredulously, as if she’d just told him to shave his head. “Are you being serious? Do you know me at all?”

Robin sighed, pulling the bin of returned movies out from under the counter. “Yes, Steve, in fact I do. I know that your hair is weirdly important to you. But what do you expect me to do about the fact that you won’t trust any of the barbers in town?” She asked, organizing the movies by genre on the rolling cart next to her.

“You looking for a barber, Harrington?” The additional voice caused the two Family Video employees to jump, looking over to see Eddie leaning on the counter casually.

Recovering from the startle, Steve nodded skeptically. “Yeah, I am. Why, you have someone you know?”

Eddie nodded with a grin. “Indeed I do. This girl that graduated the first time I was supposed to. She was in Hellfire. Went to school for hair and everything. Even does mine on occasion for a discount.”

Steve’s eyes shot up to his hairline, head nodding slowly. “Right.” He said, drawing out the vowel. “Well, listen, Munson. I mean no offense when I say this, but I don’t know if I trust someone with my hair that leaves you looking like that.” He explained, gesturing to the other boys head.

Eddie looked at him blankly. “Offense taken.” He deadpanned. “You think I want my hair like this simply for convenience?”

Both Steve and Robin stayed silent, giving Eddie knowing looks instead. He sighed in defeat. “Okay, fine, that’s partially why. But, I also have to give credit to my ultimate role model, Kirk Hammett.” He grinned.

He received blank looks from his friends and the metal head threw his arms up in exasperation. “Really? Kirk Hammett? Lead guitarist of Metallica? Nothing? Why am I friends with you guys?”

Before either of them could respond with a witty remark, Max came skipping up to the counter with two movies in her hands, throwing them down onto the counter. “I’m ready.”

“2 movies?” Eddie glared at the redhead. “Really, Maxine?”

Eddie and Max had a very odd brother sister relationship that was built almost entirely on a consistent basis of bickering and shoving each other around. Still, they looked out for one another, and Eddie felt responsible for making sure the little bit of Max’s childhood that was left was positive. Which he did so in different ways, including bringing her to rent movies for their movie nights.

“Yes, 2. Because you still owe me for the last movie night you forgot about.” She spit back. Eddie gritted his teeth, sliding over the correct amount of money to Steve for the movies.

“As I was saying,” He sent the redhead one last glare. “Even though my hair is convenient for my lifestyle, I ask for it to look a certain way to resemble someone I look up to. She’s the only one who’s ever gotten it to how I want.” Eddie told Steve, snatching a pad of sticky notes and a pen from behind the register.

He scribbled down a series of numbers before sliding it back. “That’s the number for the salon she works at. Give her a call. If you want.”

You were on your lunch break when the call came in. On a Wednesday, there was no need to have many stylists in the salon at once. Most appointments and walk ins would happen in the afternoon and as a younger stylist you were more often than not told to come in during the day for walk ins. The other women in the salon were older, more experienced stylists that didn’t need the extra cash you normally got for the services.

The food on your fork was midway to your mouth when the phone rang and you let it fall back onto your plate with a sigh.

“Thanks for calling Hawkins #1 hair salon, how can I help you?” The slogan spewed from your lips like a broken record.

“Uh..hi.” You straightened at the deep voice that came from the phone. Of course, you had men in the salon, usually though just to wait for their wives or kids to get their hair cut. There was the occasional male client, but most went to the local barbers and wouldn’t be caught dead getting their hair done in your salon. As if getting a haircut from a woman made them more feminine.

“Hello!” You chirped. “How can I help you today?”

The man on the other line hesitated for a second. “I’d like to book a haircut? With, um…Y/N.”

You perked up at the sound of your own name, a bashful smile appearing on your lips. Someone had recommended you?

“That would be me.” You chuckled. “Can I ask who referred you?”

The nameless man gave you a polite laugh, the deep timbre of the sound sending a warmth to your cheeks. “Uh, yeah. Eddie? Eddie Munson? He said you guys were friends in high school. Said you were good at what you do.”

The kind words certainly did nothing to quell the heat in your skin, but you still beamed at the mention of your friend. “Yeah, Eddie, of course. I’ll have to give him a discount the next time he comes in.” You joked. In all seriousness, you already didn’t charge Eddie the normal amount that you did for haircuts, fully aware of his financial situation. “But, yeah, I can put you in for a haircut. What day were you hoping to come in?”

“Is tomorrow okay? It’s my only day off.”

You opened up the binder that kept track of all appointments, making sure there were openings for the next day. “Yeah, it says here I have an opening at 10am and another at 1. Either of those sound good?”

The line went silent for a second too long, and you have a feeling the man nodded before remembering he was on the phone. “1pm would be great, thanks.”

You grabbed a pen and crossed out the 1pm slot. “Awesome. What’s the name I can put down for you?”

“Steve. Steve Harrington.”

Steve was irrationally nervous for his haircut. Never mind the fact that he was risking, in his opinion, his best feature, but the thought of meeting you was annoyingly nerve wracking. The way your voice sounded over the phone was borderline angelic, and he could only imagine what kind of beauty you radiated in real life. Not to mention, you and him briefly walked the halls of Hawkins High at the same time, and he wondered if you were aware of his reputation back then. He couldn’t recall your presence, but then again, he had his head so far up his own ass that he didn’t recognize most people from high school.

He was so antsy that morning that he was ready to go by 11, leaving him to pace and try to find little things to keep himself busy. The second it hit 12:50, Steve was sprinting out the door, making it to the salon in a record 5 minutes.

The bell above the door rang as soon as he stepped in, alerting the few stylists and customers that were there of his presence. One of the stylists, an older, heavier set woman took a glance at him as she blow dried her client.

“Y/N!” She called towards the back of the salon. “Your 1 o’clock is here!”

A second later, a woman stepped out, who he could only assume was you. You emerged from a beaded curtain, a sight to behold. Steve felt his breath hitch and he tried to wipe the sweat from his hands on his jeans.

You weren’t doing much better. Of course you knew who Steve Harrington was. He’d been a year younger than you, but he’d quickly climbed the social ladder in school. Every party was a big deal when it was held at Steve’s house and if you were friends with him, you were automatically cool.

You hadn’t cared much about the social aspect of school, focusing only on passing your classes and playing DnD. It’s where you met Eddie, who had easily become your best friend. It had been upsetting when you found out he wouldn’t be walking the stage with you, but you’d been supportive of him ever since.

And like every girl, you’d had a crush on Steve Harrington. How could you not? He was a total dreamboat and you’d be crazy not to find him attractive. You’d always been able to push that desire to the back burner, considering your best friend was continuously labeled as The Freak and you certainly didn’t gain any popularity by being associated with him.

When Eddie told you that he’d befriended the former King of Hawkins High, you truly believed he was fucking with you. But he claimed that the man had changed; matured. He told you that Steve’s best friends were a senior girl who Eddie knew band from marching band and a freshman that was in Hellfire. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about this new man Steve Harrington had apparently become.

Oh, and that crush you had? Definitely still there. That much was evident by the dryness of your mouth that occurred the moment you laid eyes on Steve.

He was even more handsome than you remembered. Long legs clad in light blue Levi’s, polo shirt fitted nicely to his toned chest and big brown eyes looking back at you with an expression you couldn’t read.

Steve wished he remembered you. He couldn’t help but wonder if things had been different, would he have noticed you? He wanted to kick himself for not having. You were probably the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, and he realized now that describing you as angelic didn’t do you justice. You were ethereal–otherworldly.

He could see why you and Eddie were friends. Your outfit was mainly made up of black articles with a few splashes of color here and there. Your makeup was dark, creating a contract between the black eyeliner and the color of your iris’s. You were stunning, to say the least.

“Hi!” You exclaimed breathlessly. The sound of your voice broke Steve from his jumble of thoughts, only making his brain fizzle further. Your voice was even sweeter in person. “Steve, right?” You asked, though you knew the answer.

Steve cleared his throat, nodding. “Yeah, that’s me. You’re Y/N?”

You grinned so brightly it nearly made Steve’s heart stop in his chest. “That would be me. You can come sit at my station.” You said, patting the chair you’d stopped at.

He obeyed silently, taking a seat in the chair. You had to crank the lever a few times, lowering the height of the chair to accommodate for his large stature. You tried not to focus on the intoxicating smell of his cologne and he tried not to focus on your hands taking through his hair.

“So, what were we thinking of doing to your hair?” You asked, leaning your arms on the back of the chair.

Steve made eye contact with you through the mirror and hoped you couldn’t tell how red his cheeks were, because he definitely could. “Um, I was hoping to keep most of the length. Shorter on the sides, longer in the front?” He was really just spitting out words, hoping they made sense. Honestly, he was finding it difficult to focus on your question when he felt your fingertips on his scalp.

“So..we’re thinking Swayze but longer?” Steve’s jaw fell slack, staring at you in awe as you put his thoughts into words with incredible ease. You really did know what you were doing.

“Yeah, exactly.” He responded quietly, a little stunned.

You sent him that brilliant smile once again. “Cool.” You stared thoughtfully at his reflection, head tilted to the side. “Can I-could I suggest something? And you can totally say no, but I personally think it would look really good.”

Steve thought that you could ask him to commit arson and he’d say yes. “‘Course. What is it?”

You pulled a couple of strands around his face, trying to visualize your idea. “How would you feel about getting a little bit of highlights?”

His eyebrow cocked in questioning. “Highlights? Don’t only chicks get those?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes a bit, and Steve’s stomach immediately dropped. He fucked up, he offended you, he–

“No, silly. There’s actually a lot of actors recently that have been getting them. It wouldn’t be any drastic, just a few streaks that would be a shade or two lighter than your natural color. I think it would compliment your skin tone, bring out your eyes.”

The boy found himself nodding before he really considered what you were telling him. “Yeah,” He blurted, realizing he had yet to give you a verbal response. “If you think so. I trust you.”

“Great.” You laughed. “I’ll get you mixed up.”

Steve didn’t know what that meant, but he did know that his haircut had now upgraded to a lengthier process, and he was just happy to have a reason to be around you longer.

As promised, you came back out a couple minutes later, using a brush that looked like a big fork and mixing up a gooey mixture in a bowl. You were quick to start slathering the light purple substance in his hair, carefully applying it to chunks that you had placed over a piece of foil. Each section was enclosed and folded into a little square.

“So what brings you to me? I know you said Eddie referred you, but guys aren’t usually very willing to go to a stylist rather than a barber.” You said.

Steve shrugged a little. “I had a barber before, but he retired and moved out of Hawkins. He’s the only one that’s ever gotten my hair exactly how I want it.” He blushed, reluctant to reveal the reason he’d agreed to be there. “My hair is kinda important to me, I didn’t wanna go to just any barber and risk them fucking it up. Eddie said you were great and I really just needed a haircut.” He explained.

You nodded understandingly, finishing up the last couple sections of his highlights. “I get that. Hair has always been really important to me too. Obviously.” You gestured around you. Steve laughed and you felt the sound bring a warmth to your chest. “It’s always been the easiest way besides my clothes to express myself. And it’s nice to have control over something as an adult when so much is out of your control.”

Your eyes met in the mirror once again, his big doe eyes staring deep into your soul with an understanding that only came from shared experiences. You didn’t know much about Steve’s home life, only what you’d heard during school. His parents were loaded but were often never home. As a teenager, that’s the best thing that could happen to you, but as an adult, you saw how that could get pretty lonely.

The time passed by far too quickly for either of your tastes. You and Steve hadn’t even noticed the time flying so quickly as you talked about anything and everything. It was crazy to think that this man, this sweet, charismatic, beautiful man, used to be a douchebag in high school.

Steve was in heaven as you washed his hair, not even bothering to hide his bliss as your fingers massaged the hair products into his scalp. He could die happy right now, he was sure of it. You held back a giggle as his eyes closed and a convent hum came from his throat. Not wanting to embarrass him, you refrained from commenting and continued your routine.

After a few cycles of shampooing and rinsing and conditioning and rinsing until Steve’s hair was clean and silky smooth, you shut the water off and gathered his hair in a little towel.

“Okay, all done. I’m just gonna blow dry your hair, style it a bit and you’ll be all set.” Steve couldn’t help the frown that appeared, not wanting your time together to end.

It seemed like you read his mind, commenting as you dragged a hairbrush through his brunette locks. “If you’re happy with how your hair came out, you can always come back for trims, o-or touch ups on your highlights.” You stuttered, smiling sheepishly and silently praying that he couldn’t tell how desperate you were to see him again.

“Yeah?” He asked. You nodded, biting your lip shyly as you refocused on his hair. You sat in a forced but comfortable silence as you blowdried his hair. Once it was all nice and fluffy, he watched as you poured a series of liquids into your palm, raking them through his hair. You messed with the strands for another few minutes, doing stuff he didn’t understand but somehow styling his hair exactly how he likes it.

He had to admit, you were definitely right about the highlights. They brought a brightness to his complexion that hadn’t been there before. He felt like he looked younger somehow, which was surprising, considering the kids he always hung around with made him feel like he was pushing 80 sometimes. He told you as such, reveling in the sweet sound of your laughter.

“Well, that’s my job. Just glad you trusted little ol’ me with your most prized possession.” The words came out teasingly. Steve grinned back at you through the mirror, shrugging slightly.

“Guess I owe Munson, huh?”

You agreed, guiding him back to the front to check him out. You typed something into the register at the counter. “Your total is gonna be $10.”

Steve’s eyebrows almost touched his forehead. “That’s it? For the haircut and the highlights?”

“Yeah, it’s with a discount. You are Eddie’s friend after all.” You were almost charging him just for the haircut, and Steve was not having it.

He frantically shook his head in protest. “No, no, Y/N. You don’t have to do that. I can pay you the full price, trust me.”

“Steve,” You chuckled, “It’s okay. I don’t give out many friends and family discounts, it’s not like I’m losing all that much money.”

He cocked an eyebrow at you challengingly. “Oh yeah? How much is the full price for highlights.”

You poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue, reluctantly mumbling out the price, which was much larger than what you were asking. “Absolutely not. Charge me the right amount.” Steve was not about to leave and let you basically have a free service. Not when you worked so hard.

“I’ll just tip you the rest if you don’t.” He smirked, eyes peering at you fondly when you sighed in exasperation.

“It’s seriously fine. I offered the extra service, you don’t have to pay for it.”

A lightbulb lit up in Steve’s head, eyes shining at the obvious opportunity. He’d be an idiot not to take it.

“Fine.” He sighed dramatically. “At least let me do something to pay you back for it. A service for a service, huh? What do you say?”

The corners of your mouth tilted up, betraying your efforts to keep a serious face. Steve was clearly not backing down. “Okay. What’d you have in mind?”

A pink rose to Steve’s freckled cheeks. “Let me take you on a date?”

Your breath hitched. You certainly felt the tension between the two of you ever since he walked in, but you really weren’t expecting anything to come from it.

Steve took your silence as a negative reaction. “Or-I could do anything else. Doesn’t have to be a date, really. I could buy you lunch one day or-“

“I’d love to.” His big brown eyes snapped up to meet your in surprise.

“Really?”

You nodded gleefully, unable to keep your grin from growing. You could feel your cheeks beginning to ache with how much you were smiling.

“Okay.” He whispered, ducking his head bashfully. Steve quickly pulled his wallet out, handing you the 10 dollar bill.

It took less than a minute for you to input his money in, ripping the receipt that printed it. Before you could hand it to him, you grabbed a pen and scribbled something on it.

“My house number. Give me a call?” You asked in a hopeful tone.

“Definitely.” Steve grinned and you repressed the urge to swoon. He sent you a cute little wave, leaving you in the salon smiling like an fool. As soon as he was out the door, your fellow stylists squealed, crowding around you and demanding details.

Steve faintly heard the high pitched noise, smirking to himself. Sliding into the drivers seat of his BMW, he sighed happily. “Yeah, I definitely owe Munson.”

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