#shit my students say

[xiaq]

Me, with two nonbinary kids in the car, answering the phone: Hey, what's up?

My partner, trying his best but not used to using nonbinary pronouns: Hey, I'm on my way home. Have you dropped off the...thems...yet?

Me: I have not dropped off the thems yet, no. We're on our way, though.

The thems: uproarious laughter

#gentlethem #lol #queer things #mylife #teacher things #shit my students say #sort of #adjacent #anyway

[terresdebrume]

Not gonna derail the post that prompted this bc it's about a specific person dying but also anyone that tells you bigotry is going to die with old people is either naive or lying

Yesterday I snapped at my year 8 students because I heard one too many "You're so gay 🤢" comments and I was just like 'You guys know I'm gay, how do you think it makes me feel? How do you think it'll make your gay friends feel?" The fact that I can even say it and not be worried about consequences is a privilege.

A couple weeks ago, I was rearranging the stickers I use to mark which nursery students are present/absent, and as I dealt with one of the two black kids' pictures my student Am., 6 years old, just spontaneously informed me that she did not like black people. I asked if it meant she didn't like the twins because they're black and she said yes. I had a talk with her and went around the reception & nursery teachers to let them know what happened to keep an eye out for the twins, but still. Fucking six.

And then two weeks ago, we were doing an exercise with my y7 where they asked each other about their respective families:

Si., not black: what's your father's name?

Now, I immediately scolded Si., because it wasn't the first time we'd had to have a conversation about how this class treats So. (the boys who get called out often used to automatically go 'So. also makes noise!' every time and at some point I called out the pattern) which has done her real harm already since a bunch of teachers told me she was overreacting and oversensitive, but honestly, since I got the boys to cut the shit out, she's been a lot calmer and relaxed in my class.

So., black: [answers]

Si.: I didn't think you had one.

And the irony is that Si. also suffers from general bigotry bc I'm fairly sure that he has ADHD and the fact that he is incapable of staying calm/quiet makes his life very difficult with his class, but apparently his parents refuse to consider it as a possibility.

Bigotry is not dead. Bigotry will not die, or at least not of old age. Parents teach it to their kids. Parents are doing it to their kids, which is a more insidious way of teaching it. Don't believe anyone who tells you the kids are gonna fix the world without any help or input from us.

#Matt has a life #Shit from work #Matt teaches French #Shit my students say #This one is not a happy one sorry but not sorry

[k12artteacher]

Don't talk to me, Imma thug

-said the whitest emo girl in my ap class

#art education #teacher problems #shit my students say #art #things my students say #art teacher #teacher #education

[eclectictuna500]

This post will include things I never thought I would have to say to my students. Grab some snacks and prepare to go "wtf?!"

Stop fighting about your gayness in my class. You both are gay and that's cool. Can we finish this now?

No, you cannot eat an entire pumpkin pie in my classroom. Grab a piece like a normal person and just put it away.

#teacher things #shit my students say

[iainwrites]

Favorite student line of the day:

“I don’t know French!  I didn’t do good in French!  I was too busy learning Yiddish!”

To which I interjected, “Wait.  You went and learned Yiddish?” (script appropriate beat) “Hell yeah.”

It was such a weird and out there announcement that I have to immortalize it.  Hell yes to Cape Breton students being weird and different and learning Yiddish.

#random #shit my students say

[eighty6baby]

Shit My Students Say:

Me: dang, we really didn’t finish as much of this discussion yesterday as I thought we would.

Student: because you paused the lesson to try and get Taylor Swift tickets.

Me: oh. Right. My bad.

#taylor swift #Julia’s teacher tag #shit my students say

[moonchildmisadventures]

Misadventures in Teaching: Why is My Life Not Already a Sitcom Edition 🫠

👱🏼: Life is just stress, stress, stress, and then, you die.

👩🏼: What are you talking about? Why are you stressed?

🧑🏼: I’m not, but you usually seem like you are.

👦🏻: *holds up lip balm* What’s this?

👩🏼: It’s for your lips. *puts on to demonstrate*

👦🏻: Oh!

👩🏼: *turns head for 2 seconds*

👦🏻: *is putting on my lip balm*

👩🏼: …cool.

While feeding a student who needs help eating…

👩🏼: OH MY GOSH! Am I that out of it?

👦🏼: What?

👩🏼: I thought this was apple sauce and was about to feed it to you with a spoon. This is honey mustard!!

👦🏼: WHAT?!

What indeed. One more week!

#teach #teaching #teaching irl #teacher #teacher life #teacher problems #misadventures in teaching #things my students say #things my students do #shit my students say #shit my students do #kids say the darndest things #never a dull moment

[cairfrey]

9.

My class are reading their books in their lesson today, so it's nice and quiet.

Student (walks in): Sir, why's it so quiet in here?

Me: Everyone's reading.

Student: Yeah, but it's not normal.

Me: No. Its better than normal!

#post #teacher life #teaching #shit my students say #a quiet classroom is a happy classroom

[shellofwonder]

I experienced a 6th stage of grief today when a 3rd grader walked up to me with stars in her eyes and a busted chromebook in hand only to immediately ask me to take her "What Therian Are You" quiz she had spent the last hr making

#i couldn't stop laughing i felt bad but i wasn't ready for that #she was so excited to explain what a therian was #i couldn't admit i knew #this was a homework/study time too she really shouldn't have been making that quiz #my quiz result was wolf btw #of course i took the therian quiz #my wolf result did bump me up in social standings to a whole lot of these elementary schoolers #teaching #shit my students say #og tumblr #one day they will learn about the old tumblr dragon kinnies that ate their mother's diamonds but today was not that day

[xiaq]

So I was talking to The Thems (who are 15 yrs old) today, and they told me they'd made a pact that, if they hadn't found significant others by the time they were 30, they would marry each other so they wouldn't die alone.

Me: Thirty is really young for a "so we don't die alone" marriage...maybe give it a few more decades.

Kid 1: I dunno. Everyone I know who's over thirty seems pretty ancient. Like. I still want to look good in my wedding pictures, you feel?

Me: IM OVER THIRTY. CAN YOU NOT. Kid 1 and 2, at even higher volume: YOU'RE WHAT??

Apparently, they'd both been operating on the assumption that I was in my early twenties for the past year.

Kid 2: Things make so much more sense now. No wonder you have your life totally together, you're old.

Thanks, kiddo.

#I introduced them to boba tea #and then we went thrifting #which if you haven't been thrifting with teenagers recently #i highly recommend it #for the entertainment value alone #shit my students say #teenagers #lol #storytime

[terresdebrume]

13yo student today: What are you going to do tonight? For your date?

Me: Well, I'm single so I'll probably just stay at home with my cats

Him, completely sincere: Oh, you're going to be so lonely 🥺

#Matt has a life #Shit from work #shit my students say

[k12artteacher]

"Why am I being called a Doughnut?! That's so offensive!"

-Said a 5th grade student today

#art education #teacher problems #shit my students say #art #things my students say #art teacher #teacher #education #middle school #middle school art #elementary school

[loftmusic0]

“I feel like Washington DC is just a state of mind”

#shit my students say

[a-tree-without-leaves]

Student Shenanigans, episode 2

my student after trying to steal the tiny squishmallows from my desk and being told by their friend that they can get them at 5 Below:

“they don’t cost five below >:c”

#shit my students say #high school #why did i come back to high school #this job is a mess and so am i

[iainwrites]

Students at two separate schools have given me the nickname of "Slenderman" because I'm tall, quiet and they are convinced I can teleport around the room because I suddenly appear when they aren't looking.

#Tumblr teachers #random #shit my students say

[egophiliac]

happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!

thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!

I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)

I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!

also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...

...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me #but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual #he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly #supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type #because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that #it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead #and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF. #(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway) #i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry! #unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever #(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress) #i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much. #my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks #i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair #(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)