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#Matt has a life

Me at dinner time : alright I’m super tired and a little lower on money than I like (nothing worrying, I just don’t like it) so tonight I’ll order only one serving and then go to sleep early for pre work purposes

Me at half past midnight: *finally realizes the reason I can’t sleep is because I’m hungry and goes to correct that and thereby stays awake until 1 am which is Pouet calling time*

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I’m too tired to go calling for Pouet tonight and I need to catch up on sleep a little because I’m going back to work tomorrow afternoon and like

I’m not feeling… As guilty or torn about it as I would have a month ago but I’m still

Sad

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So I spent a lot of time in the past two weeks crying with my face against Gollum’s back for comfort, and yesterday night when I came back from calling for Pouet and finally got in bed, a couple tears of exhaustion escaped

Gollum licked them off and then lied down with her back smushed against my face

I love her so much ♡♡♡

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So because calling Pouet in the evening hasn’t yielded any visible results in the past month (arguably maybe not since November 30) I’m not actually going to resume that and focus on calling her at night instead, hoping she’ll at least hear me better if she’s around

Other bonus: I won’t feel as weird moving up and down the street to maximize my radius

Now I just need to remember the posters to leave on doors during tonight’s call

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I love when I decide not to go out for Pouet so I can sleep and Am keeps scratching at my leg to play therefore keeping me awake until 1am

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Day 1 of 100% hypoallergenic food regime:

Attempts to loot the food box while on the counter having failed to yield fishy kibble, I shall now attempt to loot it while in the cupboard

Onward in the name of science

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Me: resolves to go out to look for Pouet every night until work picks up

Me: comes home at 11:16pm

Me: guess not tonight then

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Sometimes I worry Gollum might stop loving me because of this whole food thing because she *has* been pouty for the past couple days, but then she moves from her spot on the bed specifically to continue napping here and all is right in the world again

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Well, the cat I saw earlier came out (at least it’s a short tailed tabby that was in the restaurant alley) and it definitely isn’t Pouet

So

We’ll see how it progresses

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The fact that there are so many tabbies around here is frustrating sometimes tbh

One came out of the restaurant I’m in front of (though not from the alley, I’m fairly sure, which is a different space separated by a wall) and it has a white back paw and a short-ish tail, tho longer and thinner than Pouet’s and the other cat I saw earlier (aka maybe-Pouet) and now I’m just like… What if I’m imagining all these differences because I can’t cope with the fact that it’s not my Pouet?

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There’s a cat in heat on the other side of the street and when the nearest male reached her they both paused and looked at me for a moment before going about their business, which I’m sure has nothing to do with shyness but is funny to me nonetheless

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Saw the cat from yesterday a second ago, it could really be Pouet??? It entered next to a sushi restaurant and left after a bit but came back then left again

Idk if it’s because it’s Pouet and she’s remembering me or because it’s a different cat but it’s encouraging I guess

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Other concern: previously, all Pouet sighting happened to the right it my building but yesterday night in trying to follow maybe-Pouet I scared it into going to the left, where there’s a street to cross and also a bar that sometimes stays open really late

So now I’m wondering if I should do a call or two on the corner of the next street over and then finish the calling at my door (even though I know it’s not going to happen because I’m nervous enough doing this on like, ~my territory~, there’s no way I’ll dare to do it on someone else’s when people are around to see me)

Also, because I was at the restaurant when the cat was seen yesterday I didn’t have cat food with me which frustrates me because maybe then I could at least have gotten a proper look at the cat -_-

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The one good point of sweating so much out of stress is that it helps with the rotation of shirts I’ve set in place so my smell is always mostly fresh and in the wind from my building

I’m also going to try and prepare pieces of fabric again because the last place I saw maybe-Pouet in yesterday is generally upwind from my place but not very far so I figure a trail of ribbons can’t hurt

I’m also, I’ll admit, hoping that if it is Pouet two months outside will help her move a little bit more confidently and come back faster ><

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Like, okay, I know from experience that there’s a guy who rifles through the neighborhood trash around midnight/1am, and the one I saw yesterday could have been him according to my sketchy memory and I didn’t see or hear anything weird about his bag which did have something fabric-y in his rice bag

But also I heard two cats shriek before and after he passed me by and I’m stressed ><

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Good thing it’s barely seven because I’m not legally allowed to move just now

Also please forgive the weird angle, as a tablet is not the best thing to use to take a one handed selfie x)

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I can’t help but grow stressed out as evening comes tbh like

First there’s the whole bit about calling for Pouet again after eight days but also I worry about that man with the backpack and rice bag I saw yesterday because like

There’s a real chance I won’t see the cat from yesterday no matter what but with that man going around at 1am yesterday and knowing someone is snatching cats within about 500m of my house I just know I’ll worry anyway

Between anxiety and reasonable suppositions my brain is going to have a field day -_-

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I’ll be honest, one of the reasons I’m also interested in getting into dnd is because I’ll have an excuse to hoard dice bc there are so many pretty ones * _ *

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Coming home at 2:45 am to find this in the bathroom

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One thing I want to clarify is that I don’t have any moral objection to eating cat meat, it’s morally no better or worse than eating a cow especially here in a country that doesn’t do pets (cats and dogs are gaining a little ground in Phnom Penh but by and large they’re still seen as utilitarian in Cambodia, and in PP a lot of cats and dogs are more of a status and wealth symbol than actual pets)

However, if you’re going to have a trade in cat meat, then you should do it properly: raise them, feed them and make sure they have as good a life as possible before they get slaughtered, not by stealing animals off the streets

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