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keepyourpantsongohan · 2 years

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Scholarly Sentiment

My dreams for the future are none of your business. (Chapter 4). | AO3 |

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The jōnin captains, Sai discovers, exhibit very odd social behaviours.

The majority of his own personal experiences have consisted of interactions with fellow members of ROOT, so perhaps he isn’t the best judge of such things. But he has always considered himself fairly thorough when it comes to research, and all of the books he’s read seem to indicate that there is something quite off-kilter about his peers’ teachers.

Particularly when it comes to their interpersonal relationships.

It is a quality he first observes in Hatake Kakashi. Though Kakashi did not accompany the squad on the mission to Tenchi Bridge, Sai does come to know more of the other leader of Team 7 as he and Sakura look on at Naruto’s new training regimen.

What strikes Sai is the man’s behaviour towards Yamato.

He wasn’t aware of Kakashi and Yamato having any personal bond, but from what he observes, they know each other well. Well enough that Kakashi has another name for Yamato—perhaps a code name, since the wood-style user had been among the ANBU profiles Danzō handed over. Clearly, the use of this name vexes Yamato, causing a flush to rise in his cheeks, but that only seems to encourage Kakashi to use it more. He seems to derive some joy in getting a rise out of the normally even-tempered captain.

It is strange, Sai thinks.

Why would Kakashi be so intent on bothering someone he considers to be a friend? Sakura certainly does not enjoy it when Sai accidentally presses on various insecurities she carries. Hence why he has learned to try to avoid mentioning her forehead or cooking, if either comes up.

Even stranger is that Yamato does not seem entirely put-off by the attempts to irritate him. Though he is offers his fair share of beleaguered mutterings whenever Kakashi decides to tease him, he returns the prodding with quips of his own, and he smiles when Kakashi is not looking at him.

At least once, Kakashi catches Yamato doing so, and for some reason, the look on Kakashi’s face is nothing short of panic.

Sai doesn’t know what to make of it.

Although it is not his intention to overhear them, today, Kakashi and Yamato are positioned closer to the edge of the training ground, which makes their conversation audible to him as he sits in the tree line, sketching the waterfall where Naruto is practicing his change in chakra nature. Sai supposes they’ve all grown used to himself and Sakura as their audience.

“Are you coming over for dinner again?” Yamato asks. When Sai glances over at them, he sees that Yamato’s head hasn’t turned; he is still sitting, facing Naruto with his palm up.

Kakashi looks up from his book. “Is that an invitation?”

Shrugging, Yamato replies, “If you need one. My apartment seems quieter now, for some reason.”

Kakashi chuckles. “This line of work will do that. I did want to try a new recipe. How do you feel about hijiki?”

Yamato pauses, and then sighs. “I haven’t eaten it in years,” he says pensively. “Isn’t it more of a side dish?”

“’Side dishes’ impose a hierarchy onto mealtimes,” Kakashi informs his companion.

It is a constant surprise Sai how many opinions his teammates have readily formed. Sai has eaten hijiki twenty-three times in his life so far, and has never once thought about its place in the order of meal components. But Yamato has, apparently, because what his captain says next is, “There is a hierarchy.”

“I don’t know if I agree.” Kakashi closes his book, finally tucking his novel away. “Besides, what happened to not caring about rank?”

Yamato is the one who laughs this time. “That applies to shinobi, not salads.” He rolls his shoulders back and straightens his posture, levelling his hand once more. “I need to concentrate.”

“Naruto will be hitting his limit in another minute or so,” Kakashi replies, inclining his head towards the boy. “We can rest then.”

“Then we’ll eat too,” says Yamato, sounding relieved. “All of this talk of food has made me hungry. You can make dinner, but tomorrow, I’m making breakfast.”

“Oh my.” Kakashi steps towards Yamato, more into Sai’s line of sight, and bends to peer at his companion. “How forward of you, Tenzō.”

Although it not quite apparent to Sai what has shocked Kakashi about an offer of breakfast, he can see that it has precipitated a shift in mood. The winding down of their training has distracted Yamato too, because his attention is certainly not on Naruto. Sai supposes they may have forgotten their audience entirely.

Yamato pulls Kakashi down by the collar of his flak jacket so the other man’s face hovers above his own. “It’s Yamato.”

Although Sai cannot tell what expression Yamato is making from this angle, it is apparent that something in Kakashi’s face has changed. His visible eye is dilated, and he is levelling Yamato with that same skittish expression as he has once before.

Kakashi springs up suddenly, his back straighter than Sai has ever seen it. His eyes lift in a smile for which Sai can’t quite understand the motive. “Maybe we should get takeaway.”

“Senpai,” Yamato says, sighing again.

“Breaktime.” Kakashi thumps Yamato on the back forcefully, leaping to Naruto’s side before Yamato can respond.

Naruto has spent the most time with the two team leaders together, so although intelligence-gathering isn’t the other boy’s forte, he seeks his opinion anyway.

“Does Kakashi-san have a problem with Yamato-taichō?” Sai inquires, as he walks Naruto home.

Naruto pauses in his tracks, giving Sai a puzzled look. “Kakashi-sensei and Yamato-taichō? They’re buddies, I guess. Why?”

“Kakashi-san has been looking at Yamato-taichō strangely,” Sai replies. “He seems alarmed.”

Shrugging, Naruto says, “Yamato-taichō has a pretty scary face, y’know? Maybe he’s trying it out on Kakashi-sensei.”

“Also, while you and Yamato-taichō were asleep during your break, I saw Kakashi-san putting dried plums into the pocket of Yamato’s flak vest. Why would he do that?”

Naruto frowns. “He brought snacks and only shared them with Yamato-taicho? No fair! All I got to eat this morning was food pills.”

Sai blinks at him. “Do you like plums?”

“Who likes plums? I don’t want to spend my day on the toilet! But I still could’ve eaten some to get rid of the taste of antlers, y’know. Kakashi and Yamato are so unfair!”

Sai sighs, and gives Naruto what he hopes is a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Thank you for answering my questions, Naruto.”

—

It isn’t long before Sai realizes the issue isn’t limited to his own team. Sarutobi Asuma is also a very odd man.

Ino of Team 10 confides in him that the Sandaime Hokage’s son has a romantic bond with another jōnin, Yuhi Kurenai. Apparently, one that has existed for quite some time. And yet, when he sees Asuma carrying a bouquet of flowers and Ino asks him if they are for Kurenai, the man refuses to answer her question.

Sai wonders if the flowers could be for someone else—laid at a grave, or perhaps given to a relative, or even another lover. But Ino insists they are for the Team 8 leader.

So Sai decides to watch from a careful distance, trying to understand what might motivate this man’s secrecy.

Yet he finds that Asuma gives the flowers to exactly the person Ino suspects: Kurenai. She appears pleased, based on her smile, but not surprised, as if this behaviour is not particularly out of character.

What, then, was the point of evading Ino’s inquiry? Surely it could not have been to keep Kurenai from finding out about the flowers in advance. And since his students already know of his romantic bond, there would be no point in hiding it from them.

Sai just can’t rationalize this behaviour.

He decides to ask Sakura, since her knowledge of the nuances of romantic interest exceed his own.

“I think it’s sweet,” she says, with an expression Sai has learned to categorize as ‘wistful.’ “He wants to keep their love something private, just between the two of them.”

Sai blinks at her. “But everyone already knows about their relationship.”

Sakura shrugs. “That doesn’t stop him from keeping up the pretense. He can still act like they’re in a secret romance.”

“Aren’t secrets usually indicative of shame?” Sai asks, confused.

She shoves his shoulder in what she probably assumes is a gentle manner, but he has to plant his feet to keep from listing backward. “Love is a complicated thing, Sai. You can’t assume you know someone’s motives.”

“I don’t understand his motives,” says Sai plainly. “That is why I’m asking you.”

Sakura sighs and tells him he’ll understand when he gets a girlfriend. Sai tells her he had assumed their own bond had progressed beyond that of teammates, and that he considers her his girl friend, just as he considers Naruto his boy friend.

She punches him in the shoulder again.

His conversation with Sakura doesn’t help him much, but he does leave with the notion that perhaps gender may be a relevant factor in how these interactions come to pass.

Thus, he begins to wonder if Kurenai, who had accepted the flowers without question, is exempt from the deficiencies in expressing her bonds like the men surrounding her. So he finds himself following her next.

As it turns out, observing Kurenai is not much different from observing Asuma.

Her daily habits are different. Instead of training with Team 10, as Asuma does, she trains with Team 8. And, where the other jōnin prefer coordinated, concentrated attacks, she seems to prefer agility and evasion. In the hour that Sai watches her train, not one of her students manages to lay a hand on her.

Yet, ultimately, when it comes to the question of romantic endeavours, she is just as mysterious as her other half.

When her team leaves, Kiba mutters something about their sensei probably waiting on Asuma, a fact which Kurenai vehemently denies.

Minutes later, however, Asuma arrives at the training grounds, a basket in hand. Instead of embracing him, as Sai might expect, her first action is to weave a genjutsu around their area which makes it appear as if Kurenai is sitting on the grass alone.

If the two jōnin wanted privacy, why would they not choose to meet in a home rather than a common area? What could be so private about a picnic? It’s possible the meal is just a pretense to perform a lewd act in public, but when Sai releases himself from the jutsu, the two are merely sitting around holding hands.

“Kakashi knows, anyway. He guessed it during our last hospital visit, and I didn’t deny it. It’s probably time we tell everyone the rest of it.” Asuma is saying, managing to look somehow both apprehensive and eager. If he were not performing reconnaissance, Sai would consider asking him how he balances such emotions.

“We’ve made a point to keep this between us. You’re so certain you can let that go?” replies Kurenai, raising an eyebrow. But her smile is gentle, and her cheeks are flushed.

Asuma’s hand tightens around hers. “Yeah.”

Kurenai presses her forehead to his own. “We can have it set for the end of the week. I’ve already cleared it with the other rookie team leaders.”

“They’re not rookies anymore,” Asuma replies, raising one palm to tangle his fingers in her hair.

She laughs, leaning against him. “I suppose you’re right. Everyone’s gotten bigger, suddenly.”

“So will we,” Asuma says, with a low chuckle that suggests he’s said something funny.

Kurenai is about to reply, but then she tenses, her eyes flitting over to Sai’s hiding place. “We’ll talk about it another time,” she says, her hands already weaving the signs of another genjutsu.

Sai flees. As he jumps from branch to branch, he wonders why Kurenai bothers to use illusions to discuss a relationship that everyone in the village seems to know about anyway.

—

He’s aware of the flaws in his research design. Observing a couple in which one partner has already been determined to display signs of emotional maladjustment means that the second partner is more likely to have the same issues.

While tasked with supporting research on Orochimaru, Sai stumbles into Anko’s social oddities entirely by mistake.

Lately, much of their time has been spent in the medical research wing. It is a pressing concern for both Konoha and Sai’s teammates to gauge if and when there will be more movement from Orochimaru, and Shizune is one of the few in the village authorized to research his kinjutsu. So, as his to-be trackers, Sai and Anko are often present as lab assistants.

Currently, Sai’s task is retrieving a list of vials with everything from bee sting venom to formaldehyde.

Shizune’s voice carries through the open closet door as he continues his search. “I doubt the poisons I use would have any effect on Orochimaru, but it wouldn’t hurt for you both to have them. The transference will be a time of vulnerability.”

“I appreciate the help,” Anko tells her. “I understand we’re handling threats from all directions now. Tsunade-sama has made sacrifices to lend us your expertise.”

“I volunteered,” Shizune replies, more quietly. “Tsunade-sama and Sakura have already taken on so much. I want to help.”

Anko falls silent for a moment, and it takes Sai no effort to understand why. He has seen enough of her personnel files to know why she was assigned to this team. She is similar to Yamato-taichō in that sense. Sai moves a footstool with an intentional scrape against the floor to allow them privacy, though it fails to cover the sound of her eventual reply. “I know the feeling.”

“This village is stronger than it was two and a half years ago.” Shizune says, her voice becoming clear and firm. By what Sai has examined of their personnel, it is true.

“Don’t I know it,” Anko replies, with a loud laugh. “Even the goofballs are getting stronger now. Izumo almost managed to out-drink me the other night.”

Shizune makes a noise that might be a giggle or a sigh, covered by the rustling of the box Sai has pulled down. “Not quite the symbol I was going for, but I see your point. I didn’t realize you two were close.”

With a lilt to her tone that suggests it is meaningful, Anko says, “Not as close as him and Kotetsu.”

“It does seem to be in the air, doesn’t it?” Shizune says. “People our age becoming domestic.”

“Are you looking to settle down?”

Shizune definitely laughs then. “That depends on who’s offering.”

“You could join me tomorrow night; see what’s on offer.”

It is familiar, this conversation. Something in the phrasing or tone which is to what Sakura has said when she was willing to entertain the notion of a date with Naruto. Some clarity reaches Sai as he fills the last spot in his rack of organics. He can pass on his congratulations to Anko.

“I’d like that,” Shizune says, as Sai re-enters the room.

The conversation shifts to one of chemistry and biology, so Sai’s felicitations are passed on as they leave the lab, heading through the dimly lit halls of the Hokage tower in the evening.

“Congratulations for what? asks Anko, looking at him askance.

“Your romantic relationship with Shizune,” supplies Sai, wondering if she is the type of kunoichi who is shy about her paramours. He has read of such people in the character study, Icha Icha Violence.

Anko splutters, which turns into a coughing fit. Her fingers tap on the chain mail near her neck lightly, and Sai thinks he must be right about her shyness.

“The sound travels within the laboratory. It appeared to me that you had asked Shizune to settle down with you.” Sai informs her. He takes in the red tips of Anko’s ears. “Are you upset?”

The redness spreads over the rest of Anko’s face. Her tone belies the affectedness, as she replies, “No. I was only asking for her to join me for a drink. I didn’t think about how that sounded.” Her eyes widen suddenly. “Wait, does Shizune know?”

It was remiss of Sai not to collect more information before arriving at a conclusion. His skills are beginning to dull. Now, he takes a moment to assess her disquiet. “Would it be helpful to ask Shizune if there was a misunderstanding?” Sai suggests.

He thinks that Kakashi-san would probably offer a smile in an attempt to reassure, but that isn’t an expression he has tried before, so he settles for nodding his head once.

“Absolutely not,” says Anko firmly. “You can’t just ask a question like that.”

Anko says it with such conviction, Sai is inclined to believe her. But he still requires more context. “Why not?”

“It’s like how Shizune showed you how to handle a poison needle without piercing through your gloves. When something is delicate, handling it improperly can break it.”

Sai is not sure if Shizune or Anko is meant to be the glove in this metaphor. “What will you do?

Anko eyes him as if he is one of the snakeskins they were handling this afternoon. “I’m going to figure out what’s going on between Shizune and me, and you’re going to help me.”

It is not immediately clear what help his own skills will be to understanding the situation, but as he has contributed to her predicament, Sai supposes he is duty-bound to help. Naruto has emphasized to him the importance of promises and maintaining bonds. Besides that, he is also curious to know Shizune’s answer. So, the next day, as Anko has prepared a series of romantic tests, Sai maintains his role of encouraging and observing.

The first test is a bento box that Anko offers to Shizune as they break for lunch.

“That’s great! I’m starving,” Shizune says, aiming a smile at Anko. When she opens the box, her smile fades to what Sai can ascertain is a puzzled look. “Wow, this looks...”

“Delicious, right?” says Anko, beaming. “There’s honey toast, yokan, mochi ice cream, even taiyaki! I have my own too. You said how you’d like to join a tea ceremony sometime, right?”

“Right.” Shizune smiles at her.

Anko has informed him that a romantic partner would pretend to like something for their sake of their loved one’s feelings. Shizune elects to eat half of the dense array of sweet desserts, and to offer the other half to Tonton. It isn’t clear to Sai if she passes or fails.

Each test that follows goes similarly.

When Sai occupies more than his fair share of their tabletop, pushing Anko into Shizune’s workspace, she does not lean into the other woman’s space or let their arms brush. Instead, she shifts her belongings so she is on the other side of the table, directly across from Anko, smiling warmly.

When Anko remarks on being cold, Shizune does not reach for her hand, but instead goes to the turn up the thermostat.

When Sai purposely breaks the band in Anko’s hair by allowing one of his ink drawings to scurry onto her and bite at her ponytail, Shizune offers her a replacement elastic band, but does not attempt to touch Anko’s hair. If anything, the redness on Anko’s face as their fingers touch is more telling of her perspective than Shizune’s.

When Anko tries ignoring the woman, focusing only on the medical textbook in front of her without uttering a word of the idle chatter they have been exchanging, Shizune praises Anko on her concentration and focus.

By the time he goes to retrieve another treatise on healing, Sai is quite certain that they are no closer to an answer than when they started. He’s beginning to think none of the jōnin follow the expected behaviour patterns he has learned to recognize. Their psychology is beyond the usual realm of his study.

He sighs as he approaches the entrance to the laboratory unit. The sound is over taken by Anko’s voice, loud enough to be heard even at this distance. “What kind of an answer is that?!” exclaims the woman, with peal of laughter that carries.

“You’re the one who asked!” Shizune answers, as Sai goes through the threshold. “Besides, it’s not like we were alone all of this time. How was I supposed to know?”

The conversation is too short and vague to discern, but the implication of progress pleases Sai on Anko’s behalf. He makes a point to set the text in between the two jōnin. “Did you find what you were looking for?” he asks Anko.

Anko meets eyes with Shizune and the two women begin to laugh again. Neither one bothers to answer his question through their giggles.

—

Yamato is the one who finds Sai that evening, sighing to himself again as he draws figures with lines swirling and connecting between them, unclear where one connection begins and ends. The man sits down on the same stair that Sai is sitting on, one that is bordered by the Yamanaka Flower Shop.

“How’s the research going, Sai?”

“For the medical ninjutsu, we have found some insights,” Sai answers. And then considering, he adds, “But my personal research endeavours are not yielding as many results.”

Yamato smiles at him. “Something in particular you’re trying to learn?”

“You are not a jōnin, Yamato-taichō.”

The older man’s gaze turns down, but he is no less obliging to the implied query. “No, I’m not. I hold equivalent standing while out of ANBU, but I skipped that rank promotion.”

“But you know many jōnin.”

“I do,” Yamato agrees. “Like you do. Anko and Asuma tell me you’ve been... close at hand lately. Does that have to do with your personal research?”

Sai contemplates how much to say. He is certain that Yamato has realized Kakashi is among the list of people whose actions he has been attempting to fathom, and wonders if his omission from the list is purposeful. But regardless, it is a fair question to ask.

“Yes. I am... finding it difficult to understand what motivates the jōnin captains to behave as they do.” Sai admits, frowning. “My peers handle their feelings very differently.”

“Ah, well...” Yamato says, sympathetically. However, whatever placating he might have offered falls away as something catches his eye in the distance. Sai glances at his periphery and sees Kakashi is holding up a bag and inclining his head towards them. Yamato raises his hand, which seems to Sai as a request to wait.

Yamato turns his gaze back to Sai, and smiles. “Look, Sai, it’s one of those things that you might understand when you’re older.”

“At what age did you begin to understand, Yamato-taichō?”

Yamato’s eye flicker briefly past him again, and he shakes his head. “Older,” he says, and pats Sai on the shoulder.

#sai #kakayama #asukure #shizuanko #team 7 #fanfiction #mine #kakashi hatake #yamato tenzo #kurenai yuhi #asuma sarutobi #shizune #anko mitarashi #would you believe i started this four years ago #different times!!!#emotionally i am always the boy meets world laundry basketball scene #ayesha talks anime #naruto series #long post

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blackkatmagic · 7 years

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more narukono?? u created this hell for me

Oh god, why not??

“Letter for you, Tsunade-sama,” Shizunesays, practically waving the scroll in Tsunade's face. She thinks that Tsunade doesn’tsee her steal the sake bottle in the same motion, but Tsunade absolutely does. It’sclever enough that she allows her first student to get away with it, though,casting Shizune a droll look as she accepts the message.

“Shouldn’t you be with Ankoright now?” she asks rather than commenting on the theft. “I thought you had adate. One of us should be gettinglaid, at the very least.”

One glance at the jaggedhandwriting on the paper is more than enough to distract her from her splutteringapprentice, though; her heart trips in her chest, and she can't help the smilethat spreads across her face, one hand coming up to touch the spot where hergrandfather’s necklace used to hang.

“From Naruto?” Shizune asks, andshe’s still very red, but she’s smiling fondly at Tsunade even so.

Now Tsunade is the one who wantsto flush at the implications, but. Well. All of Konoha knows about herattachment to Naruto by now, and if some of the civilians still mutter aboutdemons and better off if the beast wasdead in her hearing, they learn quickly enough.

“Yes,” she confirms, sliding anail under the wax seal to break it. “Jiraiya mentioned they were headedtowards the Ame border next—“

“What?” Shizune blinks, checksher clipboard—flashing the sake bottle she has stuffed up one sleeve, not that Tsunadeis going to mention that—and says with a confused frown, “A hawk brought thisfrom Kumogakure.”

A bad feeling slides down Tsunade'sspine like ice. “Kumo,” she repeats, already pulling the scroll open with alittle more haste than necessary as she tries not to rip it. The inside iscovered in Naruto's unmistakable handwriting, but before she can catch anywords a photograph flutters down to land on her desk.

Somewhere between horror andresignation, Tsunade picks it up.

It’s Naruto, and her firstthought is that he looks happy. Certainlyhappier than she’s ever seen him, though she had admittedly only known him fora few weeks before he left with Jiraiya. His smile is wide and bright and moresettled than before, like he’s beenhappy for a while and has adjusted to it, and his hair is longer, shaggy andbright around his ears.

He’s also sprawled across thelap of an older boy, who looks about twenty, at ease there and flashing thecamera a victory sign as he grins.

Tsunade's eyes narrow. One ofthe older boy’s hands is a curled around Naruto's hip a little too far fordecorum, and there's a flush on his face as he smiles a touch sheepishly. He lookshappy too, though, and dark blue eyes are resting on Naruto, full of a warmththat makes Tsunade's chest ache just a little with memory.

It absolutely doesn’t mean thatshe isn’t going to hunt this young man down and just…make sure that he knowsexactly how precious Naruto is to her.

“Naruto's growing up,” Shizune sayswarmly, peering over Tsunade's shoulder to see the photo. “He looks good.”

He does. Unexpected beau aside,he’s suntanned and wearing new clothes, some of the baby fat gone from hisface, with the lines of muscles where before he wasn’t old enough to developthem. Tsunade hums in agreement, turning her attention to the actual letter,and lets Shizune take the photo.

A bare handful of sentences inand she can feel her blood pressure skyrocketing.

“Shizune,” she says, and onlykeeps it even by saying it through gritted teeth, “get Jiraiya back here immediately!”

“Y—yes, Tsunade-sama, rightaway!” Shizune scrambles to grab up her things and bolt for the door, clearlyrecognizing the danger in that tone.

“Wait,” Tsunade says, an instantbefore the door closes. Shizune pauses, peering back, and Tsunade gives her asmile that’s on the edge of vicious. “Don’t even imply that I'm angry. I don’t want him to see the first punchcoming.”

Shizune’s eyes widen, and shecasts a startled glance at the letter Tsunade is holding. “Of course, Tsunade-sama,”she agrees, and closes the door behind her carefully.

With a low grown, Tsunade slumpsback in her chair and levels a narrow glare at the message. “Boyfriend,” she scoffs. “Jinchuuriki training. Ha. Heading to Suna for the Chuunin Exams. Godsdamn it, that idiot pervert has a hell of a lot to answer for.”

Miles away, entertaining himselfsearching for rumors in a bar near the Wind Country border, Jiraiya sneezes,and wonders why it feels as if someone just walked over his grave.

#my writing #kononaru #tsunade #jiraiya #shizuanko #shizune #sunshine son #konohamaru #Anonymous #kat answers

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