#shut up brain and enjoy shit

[longlivetv]

Why can’t my brain just let me enjoy things?

#I’m so proud of all the records broken #but I’m already worrying if it doesn’t happen with whatever comes next it’ll be that same mindset that anything less is a colossal failure #which is just not true #look at Lover which didn’t exceed Rep in numbers but is still fucking incredible #or evermore that couldn’t keep up with her older sister because she didn’t have physical copies #shut up brain and enjoy shit

[californiannostalgia]

seems to me like zac oyama is repping some experiences of asian american schoolkids, defined by such hits like 'regulate your anger,' 'communicate clearer to deliberately misunderstanding assholes,' and 'perpetual sense of unbelonging in both the american part and the asian part of your life.'

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy #zac oyama #gorgug thistlespring #great stuff! I can't watch that shit for entertainment #the asian american strugglebus... feeling like an alien hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahha #this is just surface level ​personal experience ofc like maybe I had a very specific version of childhood #oh yeah did i mention the Designated Role you get in school lol that's fun for literally nobody who ever attended school schools suck #but education is good! try not to drop out or at least get geds they help college is a good thing check out crash course on youtube #panic rambling in the tags tonite #my thoughts #talking about my asian-ness makes me so nervous my westernized brain is yelling 'shut up! shut up!' #I enjoy gorgug being rage-ful as a treat #asian things

[ye-olde-trojan-horse]

good night to everyone, except:

people who deem it necessary to open their mouth and criticise fanfics by sharing their entitled, ill-conceived and (quite frankly) useless opinions that no one asked for.

people who enjoy pineapple on pizza.

#yes this is targeted at that one tik tok #but yes it’s also a much wider problem than that #and happens far too fucking often #marauders tik tok makes me want to throw up violently sometimes #like #y’all just need to shut your mouth #swallow your tongue #TRY USING A FUCKING BRAIN CELL AND AN OUNCE OF COMPASSION #and be thankful fandom creators do this shit for free #enjoy the BEAUTIFUL FEAST THAT THESE PEOPLE GIVE US #WITHOUT BEING A DICK ABOUT IT #I don’t think it’s that hard #but what would I know ig 🙄 #also pineapple on pizza is a crime I will never forgive #marauders #marauders fandom #nathara is active? what.

[kaladinkholins]

yeah taimizu IS toxic and off putting actually ‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

EDIT: TO BE CLEAR THIS IS A POST IN FAVOUR OF TAIMIZU!!! I AM A DIRTY TAIMIZU SHIPPER!!!!!

#it's funny because that was my FIRST thought about them but then i realised wait this is scratching some itch in my brain #people are all very correct about this btw and their discomfort and dislike of the ship is valid #but it's so interesting to me and that's why these days I'm leaning further into that toxic aspect of their rship in my art #that whole “strangles you with the red string of fate” drawing i did was meant to capture that as well #like this equal amount of aggression and twisted affection/attraction they have for one another #like it's very fucked up #and people are not wrong to think so but i enjoy it LOL #one of the theses of my fic is literally “theyre fucked up but they make it work” #like i dont want them to be perfectly healed and normal by today's standards #i want them to be crazy and murderous but work through their shit individually AND together and make things work #and have feral nasty sex bcs mizu deserves to be a pillow princess (TO MEEEEE) #i still have a meta drafted that actually goes in depth on their rship and why we “”“should”“” root for them #but my brain is goop rn and cramps are KILLING MEEEEE so have this first instead #taimizu #blue eye samurai #fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #wank.mp3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

trying to imagine what a Welcome Home ending would look like (which is extremely stupid lmao considering we dont know shit about jack yet), and it's just... huh.

i doubt it's going to take the "the puppets are turned into humans and they join the real world" route (and if it does, then cool! that'd be sick as fuck!), so what would a happy ending look like for them? would they get a little sanctuary to live freely in? is there a secret world of living puppets out there somewhere?

what if its a tragic ending? the puppets either are repurposed for a new show, or stripped of their Awareness, or become inanimate objects - normal puppets? what if they just straight up fade away?

or a bittersweet ending? they renew the show in order to stay alive and together, but they're forced to return to their old lives & routines? or it's ambiguous and we don't actually see what happens after a certain point - where the ending for the audience comes before the puppet's real endgame; it's not for us to see/know, they get an unobserved close to the story.

its simultaneously fascinating and distressing to think about.

#i have an inkling its gonna be that last bittersweet one but WHO KNOWS NOT FUCKIN ME!!! #for all we know theres a secret option none of us will ever consider #and then clown'll pull it outta thin air and we'll all be like OHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!! #yknow? yah? #plot twist: wally turns the entire world into puppets #i just!!! i just have thoughts! #thinking about WH ending gives me that specific bittersweet/nostalgia/dread/anticipation emotion combo i still cant name #i have to shake myself by the shoulders and screech You Have Literal Fucking Years Before It Ends. Probably. Shut The Fuck Up And Vibe. #unfortunately my brain is Incapable of shutting up and i have the compulsive need to guess the ending of everything i watch/read/enjoy #welcome home theory #welcome home speculation #honestly thinking about that last option makes me so emotional #bc it is what they deserve. they were constantly Observed and Watched and theyre still being Watched and they deserve peace and freedom #BUT AGAIN WHO KNOWS!!! WE DONT KNOW HOW THIS STORY IS GONNA UNFOLD! #what twists and turns and Developments and Evolutions it'll take #i need to chill. i need to calm down about this project. i need to go camping for a week with not a hint of cell service #i need to be on a train north. please. please-

[frecklystars]

i keep associating colt with someone who wasn't very nice to me (not anybody online!!! just somebody irl) and every time i've seen colt for the last like, three months maybe now, in trailers or promos or whatever i just get so. depressed. like....... dude the movie isn't even out yet...... somebody needs to throw a chair at my head or something. i feel on the verge of tears every time i see any trailers or photosets for the movie and for WHAT!!! well i know for what.... but still 😤😤

#delete later #i hate my brain immediately associating Things I Like with people that are mean to me #and then not being able to interact with Those Things I Like #ryan won't be in another movie until what... 2026?? i should be enjoying the promos or smth 😤😤😤 #RAHHHHHH #anyway. ill get over it probably at some point. like if i start building my self ship w/ colt after the movie is out #ive spent like 20 minutes crying over the person who isn't nice to me today. and for what!!! #i hate being sensitive. [points at my heart] shut UP down there you piece of shit #i hate that i think of them IMMEDIATELY when i see colt. what if i think of them during the entire movie... 😭😭

[juniperhillpatient]

did I just finish outlining Scream Au’s main plot points in writing only to learn that it’s gonna be roughly TEN chapters? maybe. good news for people who don’t like my more controversial plans. bad news for my brain which can’t comprehend a project that short even if the chapters I’ve rough drafted so far are 9-10k so it’ll definitely still be large novel length lmao

#it’s been outlined for a while in my brain but I decided to write it down physically #that’s so short #but also it makes SENSE #like. there’s only so many people to kill & or suspect #it physically cannot be super long that just would not work or make sense #but like. aghhhh!? #idk. idk. we’re not there yet #me: stop asking me about scream au it’s sooooooo hypothetical #me 2.5 seconds later: so. here’s where we’re at with scream au #it’s good tho it’s a good thing I’m thinking ahead #not to say no amount of freedom was bad but it was… not a good murder mystery #it’s extremely important to plant clues early on & have everything more carefully planned then I did then #I’m gonna do better this time #ANYWAY #this is a very plot heavy au if you’re coming to me for ship content uh #may I offer you azula & katara at their most insane? like genuinely off the wall bat shit way worse than Sam carpenter insane ? #also zucest shippers pspsps this is um. a super tragic fucked up take on them? #if you like ripping things apart & being depressed & insane maybe you’ll even enjoy what I do with them #anyway I should shut the fuck up but unfortunately I’m really bad at like. doing that lmao #scream au

[trial-by-yuri]

ough I’m so mentally ill

#/neu #Had good time but brain is saying “no- you did things wrong” #Bestie what did I do wrong just enjoy shit smh #Anyways I’m mostly happy but like brain needs to shut the hell up

[the-kipsabian]

fr tho like a big part of consuming wrestling for me is that it makes me think and analyze stuff. like i enjoy the homoerotic rolling around and aesthetically beautiful people as much as everyone else, but i also love it when my brain is stimulated and challenged in a more thinking way with this sport especially

#its partially why as an aroace im very attracted to wrestling #i just love convoluted plots with layers of themes and storytelling that makes me use my brain #hence why im so deep in my kip hole to begin with. also cause i know hes doing this shit on purpose so i can trust him when i see stuff lol #but yeah just.. thats always been a thing for me. ofc im not above also enjoying the gay and the aesthetics #but i cling really hard to stuff i can pick apart #..i feel like all my posts are getting out of hand now im gonna shut up now im tired mmm #night is an absolute mess on main

[svtskneecaps]

shoutout to my sibling for enabling me bc homie is going to wake up to a shitton of messages, many of which were sent at 2 am and one notable message sent at 4, we are Having a Normal One

#you don't want to know when the rest of those messages were sent :)) #not kpop #shut up vic #i am going through it hyperfixation go brrrr #me: i will experience this media through tiktok clips ONLY #me: ok maybe i will watch this one section of this one vod #me: ok maybe i will watch this other perspective of this one moment in this one vod #me: well perhaps i will go watch this other moment in this other vod #me: oops well i watched the rest of that vod and then started over from the beginning and watched again #me: ok but what if i watched this alternate perspective vod of the same moment #anyway now my brain's like hey what if we watched a third perspective of this moment #send help i can't go back the last time i tried this one of them literally went to jail for ten years #but ughhh i am Enjoying Myself >:(( #i don't want to see more people i like go to actual prison for being horrible people off camera #like why is this a very real situation to fear holy shit it is so simple to just NOT be a p*do grrr but some people can't limbo under that #the bar is in the stratosphere but my god they're building spaceships like LADS YOU LIMBO BY GOING UNDER FOR GODS SAKE OR MINE PLEASE #anyway i am having fun and i think it's funny and i am having thoughts and my sibling gets to hear them lol #i'm trying to pretend to myself that i'm not enjoying this as much as i probably am bc :( #but that's a problem for when it's not 4 am lmfao gnight tag readers

[mossywizard]

It’s hard for me to verbally explain the anti semitism and just gross treatment of creatures and other beings within jkr work, so I’m gunna try to do it here as it’s been brewing in my mind. Mind you I havent played not read all of Harry Potter but it’s just…

You can have a goblin character that is not a purposeful demeaning racism, and still falls into the tropes. Jewish people have been made into demons our others to be controlled and feared for a long Long time. Goblins are not inherently bad to write about, but it’s the fact that they have to be controlled by “proper wizards” and are not allowed self determination or really valued for what they do. The goblin with their gold is a historic stereotype to dehumanize Jewish people who were forced in banks and law offices because they were not allowed in other trades. I believe the goblins also aren’t allowed wands when they are magic beings themselves. They are seen as lesser than human wizards, and in need of a human wizard’s guidance and control.

And than ancient magic is seen as evil is really, a colonizer mind set. It works within a mindset that indigenous beliefs or none dominate religions are already gone and dead, or striving to take over. instead of struggling to survive while under colonization. Magic is magic, one formalized to a system Europeans understand and the other not. All can be harmful, but it’s because they’re a tool. Having a whole plot around ancient magic being a thing to fear, tame, and goblins being a dangerous group to tame / beinging manipulated by a wizard for their own revolt is jsut, grosser than the words I have.

Let alone how house elf’s loose themselves when not in service. And that hermonie is made fun of for trying to be there for their rights. There is a history of house spirits, but not in the master servant dynamic. They are there own beings who will take care of your house if you respect them, and will destroy and annoy you if you are cruel or have bad habits. Because they’re spirit of the House, not your ownership.

If Harry Potter acted as simply a world not meant to be perfect, it wouldn’t nearly be as bad. But jkrolling actively funds terfs and centers to help sa victims while demeaning anyone who is trans. I don’t think all of these beats were maliciously done, but it needs to be looked on critically and not accepted blindly

For someone much more well thought than me I recommend the The Dark Fantastic by Ebony Elizabeth Thomas , she really puts well how we demean and other beings and darkness within stories and how that can reveal things about our character. Not all of it is consciously or maliciously done, but it still has an impact

#my little sisters love the world #and I don’t know how to talk about this without sounding mean so I mainly just listen and I’m glad they have joy in these stories #but our treatment of the other in fiction often shows subconscious beliefs of the others in our own world #writing this so I can hopefully talk about it better #but I am real shit at talking if the conversation is fast #I’m a slow boy who really does prefer listening #and I don’t want to make my sisters upset! their allowed to enjoy things! and it can be a good world if it sparks their own imaginations #i am just a trans man and all jkr would see me as is a mentally unwell and misogynistic #hullo why are you looking at me #back to class work #and A NOW HOPEFULLY MY BRAIN WILL SHUT UP

[tardis--dreams]

My brain trying to decide whether to focus on its bastille or its beyond evil obsession

#because we cannot do both #I'm still at episode 16 #having paused it about a trillion times by now because i know how intense the last 10 minutes are #but I'm scared i won't appreciate them enough because my brain is still obsessed with bastille #WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT #JUST ENJOY THINGS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON #you Can like two things at the same time you know #but no my brain is like 'you get one (1) hyperfixiation at once-' #well well #HES GONNA SAY JUWONAH AND ILL BE THINKING ABOUT JUST A LITTLE BIT OF TENDERNESS #beyond evil #bastille #brain stuff #(my new way of referring to the shit show that is happening in my head at every given moment) #shut up amy

[bibiana112]

It's like 3:00 we got home before midnight but were already tired and sleeby and I swear I act so tipsy when all I had was regular ass tea just because of what the mix of tired and overstimulated does to my brain

#u think I'm exaggerating but the reason I'm only unwinding now despite getting home relatively early #is cause me and my roomie just sat on the floor talking shit and stuff for hours #and in the middle of that #at some point #I was cry laughing for absolutely no reason after being so unable to string words together that I just repeat dour synonyms #it made it sound like I was having an existential crisis but I'm just tired but my mouth keeps trying to say things 😭 #roomie was like oh but I wish I could talk more I'm running out of energy and all I can communicate is via laugh #and I'm like I wish I could just shut up actually #I wish I wasn't the kind of person you know is doing bad because they're not swinging a thousand thoughts at u or in their head too much #Wish I had the sense to stop prattling if I can't communicate well but if I like the person and am enjoying their company I just. continue #oh no I'm having self recognition through the blorbo at this hour cause I just realized I headcanoned that about Aoi too oh nO #that makes sense fuck I never realized I did that until now #honestly it was embarrassing and roomie was like pfft what? no it's not I'm just awkward and indeed an jour later they cry laughed too #it's not like we were telling good jokes or anything like our brains were just melting so yeah how do I plan on finishing this #I liked the food kind of want to go there again for the gyoza ngl but not at night again there's too many people drinking and no sweets #we finished the meals and wanted dessert but everything had just closed :( #we got all dressed up and shit and not a single picture came out alright lmao #oh also I missed the two people that came with! they're so fun and we hadn't seen each other since y'know rona started #so it was really nice to catch up with them hopefully I'll be classmates w the two again if my transfer fcking goes through alright #Void fala aí

[rainswings]

Favorite type of science?

I'm so sorry I'm allergic to smart things and don't really enjoy science generally. Um, maybe zoology? I think animals are cool :)

#i love you so much anon thanks for asking!! #i hope you have a lovely day :) #answered #asks #rains talks #about me #look away science enjoyers its time for a dumb bitch to rant in the tags #but like. i just never felt anything for science classes except frustration and disinterest #its up there with history in least favorite subject mode at least i understood math most od the time #but chemistry is boring as shit all just adding but its electrons n shit #same with physics and like. everything else. theyre all so unbearably boring #theyre all too smart for me. my brain could never figure out the sciences #stem has never been a dream of mine and im glad bevause im the worst at it #yknow what okay maybe astrophysics is cool i did enjoy that class and did kinda enjoy learnign about stars #it kicked off my nrw worldbuildong quirk of gotta makke the solar system first #tho i dotn remember anything from class and just have to watch through artifexian vids instead #but yeah. sciencd sucks for me #i suck at science and i hate it because i never felt like i had a chance because my brain just isnt wired for it #and it makes things so gross and uncomfortable !!! i never want to know about the little bugs all over everything #i hate knowing what a parasite is. i dont care that rainbows are light refraction shut up im here just for colors #i dont care about that shit i dont want to hear it i just want to taste yummy things and leave a pretty corpse one day #and istg if you come in my inbox about 'food is science too' im blocking you

[cinnamon-grump]

How to: get over the dismay of Making A Post That Doesn’t Gain Any Notes Instantly

#please…. how #im so tired of my brain lmao #tbd #shut up ashwyn #actually tho its worst when its a music rec #music is so.. like ridiculously deeply personal for me #and im extra sensitive to percieved rejection when its got to do with music #nevermind the fact that i have impeccably AWFUL timing with literally everything #who is even awake and on here right now?? who cares about the shit i say???? not me… #if i can get even ONE relative stranger to listen to Sondre Lerche and ACTUALLY enjoy it…. then I will have succeeded at Something in life #so far so horrible on that front… idk why it’s such a fucking hot button either #my mom HATED him for no fucking reason and gave me some rude excuse #which retrospectively feels like internalized transphobia in a way??? #not about him specifically… but hating ‘men with high voices’ is… not great at least #and his voice isnt even that high… #idk y’all… im… gonna try to sleep lol #sorry..

[myname-isnia]

Suddenly got this really weird off-putting feeling in my chest that I usually get when I’m about to cry over something, but also with some general iffyness thrown into the mix, and for once instead of immediately giving in to it or getting pissed at my mind I tried to figure out where it came from

Turns out I would have been completely justified in getting pissed at my mind because turns out, the cause is that I thought about a fic concept I was really excited about a few months ago that I never ended up writing because I couldn’t get into the flow from the very first sentence. I thought about it for a whole five seconds and now we’re here. Fucking great

#I need the ability to shut my brain off bc it’s always dead set on making me upset #yeah no shit I’m depressed and passively suicidal of course my mind is my worst enemy. but still. very mature thing to get hysterical about #and like. I barely even tried with that fic. I was riding that Astraphobia high back then #and thought I finally managed to achieve what other writers always went on and on about re: enjoying writing #yeah I know. I spent years writing without once enjoying the process or the final result. idk why I kept at it for so long #so I was feeling genuinely unstoppable and when the idea came to me I was super excited about writing it #but then I wasn’t really sure how to start it or how to even go about describing what I wanted to go down #I typed up a few sentences and it all just felt extremely wrong #so instead of acting like the adult I nearly am and like. leaving it to sit for a while as I gathered my thoughts #or trying out a few other approaches or starting with a different scene and filling the rest in later #I just threw a fit over it and abandoned the whole fic #but I still really like the idea and would like to see it realised. and who’ll do that if not me? kat has her own stories to worry about #so every so often I remember that excitement I felt at the prospect of getting to write it #and how quickly it faded when it didn’t feel as effortless as most of astraphobia did #and how that really felt like the greatest betrayal because it seemed as if the spark I spent so long trying to cultivate and light #was just doused with freezing water right in front of me. by my own mind no less #so… I suppose that betrayal will continue to haunt me still. probably until I pull myself together and write that fic #regardless of the pain and tears it will cause. and I know it will. that’s what forcing fics out always feels like #and I’m saying forcing out fics bc the only time I felt like an actual writer was when I wrote Astraphobia #all the other times I was just stubbornly shoving the wrong puzzle pieces together. or forcing square shape into round holes like a toddler #but regardless. I will keep remembering the idea and feeling like shit over failing at it unless it gets written #by me or kat and it shouldn’t be her job to write fics for me bc I’ll throw a fit if she doesn’t #exaggerated. but the point is there. I can’t expect anyone to disarm the triggers in my brain. only I can do that #and if writing that fic will stop me from getting hysterical at the tiniest thought of it. then it seems like I’ll have to see to it #even if it takes a huge mental load. it’ll be worth it in the long run bc I’ll have one less writing-related thing to cry about #I just wish I knew how to go about it better. I have clear ideas about the main part of the fic but the inciting incident + details evade me #I guess I’ll just have to figure it out. I have to stop saying ‘it is what it is’ and continuing to stew in the self hatred #something needs to be done. and in this case the only thing that will remove the trigger is the fic being written #I think part of me always knew that but tried to ignore it and hoped those feeling would fade with time. but of course they didn’t. #so… I guess it’s never been clearer what I have to do. my fate is in my own hands. one trigger less certainly wouldn’t hurt