Tumgik
#so i dont wanna make it uncomfy by bringing it up
ace-up-your-sleeve · 7 months
Text
how do you. communicate abt being ok w "spicy" stuff in a new relationship. which is long distance.
0 notes
sunhalf · 1 year
Text
made some very minor rules updates! the main one :
i won’t fill out interest checkers or send in rules passwords; it just feels quite formal for what is, to me, a very casual hobby!  if we’re mutuals, I WANT TO WRITE WITH YOU — & as king of pulling AUs out of thin air, there’s almost never a time where i can’t or won’t write with a particular muse.  just assume i’m up for anything & i’ll communicate my boundaries if they come up!
i totally understand the appeal and, especially for folks who can be anxious about approaching others, the comfort of having it in writing that a mutual wants to write before reaching out, but — well, if i didn't want to write with you, i wouldn't be following!! please assume me following is me jumping up and down with glee at the prospect of writing with you. my rules specifically beg mutuals to send me unprompted asks / starters / etc., and that applies to all of you and all your muses! i don't need to know a ton about your muse / their fandom / their world etc to party hard, and some of my favourite dynamics have come about from somebody just chucking a starter at me and being like 'x and y are friends now and here's the starter to prove it.' i am always down, and trust me when i say that if there was a muse on your blog i simply Could Not Stand To See Or Write With the chances of me following you in the first place are ~ 1%
4 notes · View notes
moneymartin · 1 month
Text
・❥・- after the storm
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: you meet kate at a bar after you get stood up on a date ♡
warnings: none rlly. more fluffy than smutty. also rlly awkward kate cuz shes nervy :( use of y/n if that counts???
rpf. dont read if ur uncomfy
a/n: this has been in my fucking drafts for a week. also thank god i revised cuz this thing sucked before i proofread it 😭 same like every story every divider is a skip. also sorry for ending it like that i jus like leaving it up to everyone’s imagination 😇
Tumblr media
you sit quietly at a table, a drink in your hand and at least 4 empty beer bottles in front of you. drunk and somewhat confused after some stupid guy stood you up on a date here. at least 3 hours have passed since he was meant to come, but you couldn’t suck it up and leave the club without the embarrassment of coming in alone, and walking out alone. it was fucking embarrassing and that always made you wanna hurl. everything did now.
everyone was meant to find someone or do something with someone tonight but you were certainly checked off of that list. things haven’t gone your way in forever and this is probably the worst one. now you’re just drowning yourself in alcohol and digging a deep hole you probably won’t be able to get out of. scanning around for a way to get your butt out of here, or just find a waiter, you’re suddenly stopped when you make eye contact with a girl. she’s got the prettiest blue eyes you’ve ever seen, and she’s coming your way.
“hey,” she spits out and smiles, taking a seat in front of you. it makes you a little nervous and frankly, you’re quite scared. “i’m kate…” her hand extends outwards towards you, expectantly waiting for a handshake and an introduction back. the fear you felt when she sat down just a moment suddenly dissipates and is replaced with a feeling of relief when your hand meets hers. “y/n.” you slur out, breath slightly reeking of alcohol. it doesn’t reel her away but makes her grow a little bit worried.
“thats um.. a lotttt of beers.” kate laughs, hoping to bring up the mood and energy that surrounds you. you’re obviously not happy, but she’s trying to make it seem like whatever happened isn’t as bad as you think it is. “y’know, being all drink and alone in a club like this isn’t very safe,” she starts and shakes her head slightly. “especially when it’s a pretty girl like you.” your eyebrows raise at her slip in of a compliment, face flushing and your lips pursing. she’s already incredibly bold, but there’s a glint in her eyes that shows how shes really feeling about this interaction.
you notice that she’s slightly nervous and that her movements and small jitters make it known that she is incredibly awkward. when you don’t answer back to her compliment, she smiles weirdly with her teeth and looks around the club, then at your face again. theres a pause as you let out a breath and just stare. “i’m sorry, what?” your voice is raspy still, and the music is straight over your voice which makes it harder for her to hear you. but the way your eyebrows raise and your eyes nearly pop out of your head makes her put the pieces together about what you felt about her ‘boldness.’
“it was nothing! i didn’t mean that…” she laughs and rubs the back of her neck and then digs her nails into her arm. kate’s teeth grind together and she inhales a deep breath, trying to play it cool when she knows deep down she’s dug herself into a big stupid hole she can’t get out of. “i’m just saying it isn’t safe, y’know!! not a good idea to be alone.” her voice goes up an octave and her body tenses up when you lock eyes with hers. yikes. “i can take you home to like.. help you sober up?”
her proposal makes your face scrunch at the thought of it. a stranger you met not even 10 minutes ago offering to take you to your home so you can sober up. really? “you’re not some serial killer, right?!!! i really don’t wanna end up in a ditch tonight cause that’d make everything worse!!” you blurt out just a little bit louder than you should’ve. kate gets the sudden urge to just smack her hand right over your mouth after you two get looks from people inside. “oh, god, no! what the hell?! i’m just trying to help you. so, please let me.” she begs and grabs your hand, locking her fingers with yours to calm down the drunken nerves in your system.
“okay..” you sigh, realizing just how desperate she is to talk to you. that is what it is. she just wants to talk to you, and shes trying her absolute hardest to make it seem like shes just going to help you out. kate pulls you up from the chair and wraps her arms around your waist, steadying your drunk and wobbly body. “i got you, alright?”
Tumblr media
your body sinks into the couch after you somehow managed to guide her to your place. it took a little longer than it should’ve. the club was only 5 minutes away from your place but the whole trip took about 20 minutes. different streets and different roads and different alleyways.
“how’d you end up alone in there anyways?” kate asks, dabbing the back of her hand against your face to feel for a fever. your face is flush and you feel the rush of embarrassment coming back when her question finally registers in your head. it was the one thing you didn’t wanna talk about with her tonight. not because it was bad, it was just the fact that it was incredibly embarrassing. “got stood up.”
her eyebrows scrunch at the reasoning you give her while a pit grows in your stomach due to the look on her face. she looks like she wants to leave all of a sudden but its quickly replaced with a soft smile when she sees how you feel talking about it. “things happen for a reason, no?” kate says and smirks. she has a point though. maybe you got stood up on that date because you were bound to find her? that was dumb to think about. but it might’ve been true.
“yeah, i guess.”
“guys come and go. its not like it’ll happen again too. you’re very pretty.”
“you think so?”
“i know so.”
kate’s bold statements and words make you wonder if she really does mean them. and for some reason, you’re hoping that she does. her hands are shaky against your face and she shifts around the space on the couch to keep you comfortable instead of herself. she’s putting your needs in front of her own needs. you take in a heavy breath, looking up at kate while she stares at you longingly. “there’s obviously a reason why you wanted to help me.” you giggle.
her jaw slacks at your accusation, her face suddenly becoming a deep red. “no, c’mon! t- thats not true!” kate stammers over her own words and turns her head to the side to hide her face from you. you reach out to grab her wrist and tug her down towards you. her eyes look like they’re about to pop out of her skull and shes got a nervous frown on her face.
the confidence she manages to build up always crumbles in just a matter of seconds after you say something back. she likes that, and it makes her nervous in such a good way. “oh yeah?” you question and slide your hands up to her shoulders. your fingers wrap around her hoodie neckline, gripping tightly. “yes!” you know that she’s lying. theres an obvious reason why she offered in the first and you know exactly what it is.
“then show me why you really wanted to help.”
74 notes · View notes
merotwst · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
IN DOCTOR'S OFFICE LIGHTING, I DIDN'T TELL YOU I WAS SCARED —- angst
‹. scarabia & pomefiore ›
. bulleted hcs
⇝you're very sick. how do they deal with it?
¬ tw: established relationship ; reader implied to be hosptally ridden type of ill ; hospitals, medicine etc. ; mentions of death but reader doesn't actually die in the fic ; lots of sadness ; dont read if ure uncomfy this is sad and i understand it's not for everyone ; open ended
۵ not proofread. we die like the dumb little bitches we are.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
kalim al-asim ‹ scarabia ›
. when he first found out you were ill, his whole world stopped.
. how? why? what happened?
. were you two just not planning your future together on his bed one night just a few weeks ago? why are you here now on a hospital bed hooked up to things he didn't know what the names of were?
. all the questions swirled around his head but he would never ask them out loud.
. instead he would ask you different questions.
. “what do you feel like eating today? i'll order something!”, “what do you wanna watch together?”, “can i cuddle you tonight before i leave?”
. kalim never faltered in front of you. he was so excited to hear all about it when you come back from treatment, enthusiastically saying things like, “you look better already!” even if you know damn well you aren't but it's so sweet.
. he's always there on your bedside whenever he can be. always brings you something he thinks you'll love.
. hell, this man would bring in the best doctors just for you so please, please get better soon, kalim would do anything.
. every opportunity you have to get some time out of the hospital, he'll be there ready and planning a trip for the both of you (with doctor's approval, of course).
. he'll buy you anything you ask (or dont ask) for. because he believes you deserve everything. he wants you happy despite the cards you're dealt with and he will do everything in his power to do that.
. he's happiest whe he gets to take you out of the hospital for a while. if you can't find the opportunity to leave and he can't visit, you can expect lots of gifts and flowers sent to you and of course—jamil's cooking.
. he's so positive and hopeful and that just gives you strength. you'll never see him cry out of sadness. you'll never hear him say any negative thing even if it seems hopeless in your mind. he's your light at the end of the tunnel. he'll shine as bright as he can to light your path.
. you'll get better. you'll live a long, happy life with him. and even if he sometimes clutches his pillows at night and sobs silently onto his pillows after his latest visits to you, he knows you'll fight with him.
. and that's all he needs to know to wake up the next day with a new resolve to see you and cheer you on. he'll cheer you on till the sky falls and oceans dry and all he asks for you in return is to get better soon.
Tumblr media
jamil viper ‹ scarabia ›
. the first thing this man says when he hears your diagnosis is “alright, let's get to work, ya hayati.”
. such a solid resolve. when you're breaking down, he's there. when you need anything, he'll do it for you. he doesn't leave your side and he understands that it's difficult and scary but the way he reassures you with such certainty makes you believe that it's only a matter of time before you're out.
. unlike kalim, he doesn't coddle you, but he's not harsh. he doesn't want to treat you differently because you're sick. he knows you're strong so he treats you just like he always has.
. of course, as stated earlier, if you ever needed comfort he's right there.
. you're one of the few things he'd leave kalim's side for. sure his schedule is busy, but everything else be damned he'll always, always make it a point to see you at least once a day.
. bringing food to you, singing to you—all the things he never did for others he did it on your bedside within the confines of these four walls in their sickening shade of white.
. he appears resilient, but jamil is only human.
. he wasn't given much growing up that he didn't need to share. one thing he had found that he felt he could truly call his... was you.
. and he would be lying of he said he wasn't scared. jamil was terrified deep down.
. but he hides it well with the lunchboxes he makes you and the way he squeezes your hands when you're asleep and the way he sneakily kisses you goodnight before he leaves you.
. you. the one thing the didn't think he would lose was at risk of disappearing from his life.
. he would come home with an ache in his heart. he's scared one day all he'd have left of you are some of your things in his drawers, photographs and memories of the happiest days of his life.
. and he'd sit down and stare at empty space, his mind cursing at the world for making him go through all this. for letting him have a taste of his own little freedom in your arms only to try and yank it back from him.
. but he wasn't going to let go. and he knows neither would you.
. and after those silent moments of anger, frustration and fear... he'd relax. and he'd smile because he remembers you're still here.
. then he'd get up and think of the next thing you'd want to eat again tomorrow, knowing and deep down, silently praying you'd still be on your bed with a warm smile and welcoming him back into your arms.
. his very own form of freedom.
Tumblr media
vil schoenheit ‹ pomefiore ›
. just like jamil, he's not one to change the way he treats you whenever he hears the news.
. i feel like he may be more strict than jamil, though.
. after all, vil has a routine he's been following for years now. and as someone who's battling and recovering from an illness, he expects you to give it your 100% whenever possible.
. he knows it's difficult, but he also doesn't want to lose you.
. if ever sometimes you get frustrated or want to give up, you can rely on vil to get your sights straight again.
. although sometimes he'll come off as a bit harsh, please understand that he's just scared of losing you.
. he knows you can overcome this and he'll be there every step of the way to make sure you do.
. and of course, he rewards your hard work :3
. every milestone on your journey gets a prize. whether it be you enduring mildly tiring physical exercises or getting an operation for something—vil always makes sure to get you something nice.
. new clothes you'd like, things that you enjoy, food, sometimes even signed vynils from your favorite artists.
. sometimes, if you're lucky, something vil made himself. a meal, clothes he made for you personally etc.
. he'll tell you how proud he is and how beautiful you look despite everything.
. and then he gets soft and holds you close.
. and in the rare occason he gets to stay overnight beside you, you'll wake up in dead of night when he thinks you're asleep.
. there's soft sobs and his arms wrap around you a little tighter.
. and it's your turn to reassure him. because he's just as terrified as you are.
. and eventually for a few moments, it gets better knowing that you'll get better.
Tumblr media
rook hunt ‹ pomefiore ›
. he's crushed. he's absolutely heartbroken.
. his beloved? his darling? the most beautiful person he's known to exist in his eyes... is suffering.
. he's going to talk to you. and explain that it hurts him to see you like this but he will never abandon you.
. every moment of every second, rook is there to hold your hand and kiss you and remind you of the many reasons to keep fighting.
. the gifts, the constant presence in your life, the words of affirmation—bros never leaving your side and that's a fact.
. and sure, he's a little dramatic at times, but that's just how he is. he never makes you feel bad, never makes you sad despite everything.
. even though it's hard for both of you, he never complained. sometimes he gets dramatic and curses the fates or something, but he never makes you feel bad about it.
. he never misses any moment with you. rook hunt is the definition of dedication and perseverance when it comes to your healing.
. he does so much and sometimes, you wake up after a long, comfortable sleep and you just see him beside your bed.
. he will never say it out lout and will never let it show but... you know he's tired, too.
. so for a few moments, you just let him rest. you squeeze his hand gently as he sleeps and you see just the faintest of smiles appear on his face.
. he's awake and you know it. but you humor him and let him have an excuse to let you hold his hand as he 'sleeps'.
. maybe when he wakes up again, you might be better, who knows?
. too good to be true? not for rook who genuinely believes that at any time, the doctors will come in to announce you're fully healed.
. but until that happens, he'll enjoy the feeling of your still warm hand in his and try to go back to sleep.
Tumblr media
epel felmier ‹ pomefiore ›
. 'don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...'
. he mentally chanted to himself as tears streaked down his face when he heard the news.
. for all the tough guy act he likes to put out most of the time, he can't help but be soft when it comes to you.
. you didn't view him as anything but as the guy you fell in love with.
. not a pretty face, not a guy trying hard to come out as more manly (as much as he hated to admit it, so many other students saw him as exactly this), not some country kid with a weird accent whenever he gets mad or excited.
. you saw him as epel. your epel.
. and now your epel was a sobbing mess in front of you. he hates that he's crying, but this only shows how much he cares about you.
. you spend the first night exchanging reassurances and little promises with each other while hugging each other tight.
. while you were gettng your treatment, you've pretty much just about tried every single type of food and beverage that can be produced with the use of apples.
. boxes would come to your hospital room from his family and it's become a running joke between you whenever another box arrived.
. “an apple a day...”
. followed by little giggles you'd both share as he peeled one of them for you.
. epel didn't bring you over the top extravagant gifts, but he would visit you everyday and tell you all the fun things that happened and how he can't wait to experience them with you again.
. epel would cry. he'd cry at times when it feels low. and he'd cry when things started to look up.
. epel would tell you how scared he is of losing you. but he'd also tell you that he knows how hard you're fighting and how much he hopes to see you again outside the suffocating white walls of your hospital room.
. to see you under the summer sun, sitting on one of the branches of the apple trees in his hometown, laughing with your bare feet swinging while calling out his name.
. he'd have dreams like this sometimes and he'd wake up with tears in his eyes.
. he tries his best not to take it as a grim reminder—but a beacon of hope. a vision of what could be in the future.
. and with that in mind, he sleeps a little better. hanging onto dreams like this and praying they become something that would manifest in reality sooner rather than later.
© merotwst 2023 | do not reproduce, steal or translate
260 notes · View notes
away-ward · 2 days
Note
i just finished the dn series and i have some conflicting thoughts...
Hey, do you think will would cut off any ties damon, alex, michael, kai, rika, banks and winter for emmy if she asked? I really wanna believe this, but i dont get this vibe from him, which might be why i found his arc so unsatisfying. Now the least expected horseman was the one who surprised me when he pulled this move, michael. I only got this will-cut-everyone-off-for-my-soulmate-even-bff vibe from michael, and not even damon got this vibe. Sometimes i'm confused if he would save and choose winter or will first, and that dampens my ship for them. I hate non-poly relationship that's so poly coded only for the author to choose a non-poly ending between a man and a woman. Feels so?? Questionable. Now, Kai? even less so. If i have to rank, michael > damon / will > kai.
What do you think? Like at this point only words can reassure us that yea yea yea, ofc they would choose their women before anything else, but would they really? i am haunted by the idea that will would actually cut emmy off instead off cutiing alex or damon from his life and this thought would not leave my head. Why did we never see will address his relationship and past and emmy talking about her hard boundaries and how uncomfy his past made her feel? She was so uncomfy throughoug the book, she made ME feel uncomfy too. But suddenly she fucked alex? What?
I am not convinced that will, or any of the horsemen would choose their women first, and this lack of a firm HEA was what made me not able to enjoy devils night series as a whole 😭 i didnt feel liek this when i read other dark romance series, like the l.o.r.d.s. because it was clear to me that each couple were ONLY made for each other. i've also been spoiled by contemporary romances that have HEA endings for hears, that when i did read dn, i was like? Huh? That was it? And just like the previous anon, i found myself asking, why is this alex still here? Why was emmy's ending like that? Why was winter's man looking like he's pining for his bff or wanting to jump into a poly relay? Will winter have to share him? Why was banks' man checking out rika? Why was there still tension between them in conclave? Why was rika's man like THAT? But ngl, by the end of fire night, i dont get these vibes from michael, which was surprising because he's the least fav of the series... I feel so bad for these fmcs, but then they're just fictional characters, and they also choose to be in relationships with these mmcs themselves, so what was even the point of my worry? Ahhg! Idkidk
Side note, damon's book felt so unromantic to me because of this, and i wished winter had a better storyline and love story where her man was just focusing on her and not trying to bring eberyone in their relationship, like arion, banks, rika, will etc. I can't stand kill switch because of that. Felt like damon was cheatinh on her throughout the whole book. I hate it when mmc have other thoughts about OW, which was why i also didnt like will and kai as much. In nightfall, i knew because pd fucked up with the plot and characters, but i didnt feel like pd f up kill switch, but damon's character in general felt really unromantic for a dark erotica/ romance hero whoks supposed to be possessive obsessive non-sharing heroes, like the rina kent, hd carlton, shantel tessier, emily mcintire heroes. i cant root for him or the mmcs of this series because of that 🫠 os this just a pd thing or something? Should i be prepared with the element of sharing in her books? unpopular opinion, i was rooting for ethan in kill switch, lmao, but ofc!!! Pd just had to ruin his character by making him a creep, even though damon himself was a certified sexual assaulter and criminal 🙄 how convenient!
idkkkkk
do you think will would cut off any ties damon, alex, michael, kai, rika, banks and winter for emmy if she asked?
If she asked on a random Tuesday at the bar?
No.
There would have to be something happening that’s caused her to make that demand. Like. . . it can’t just be like the worm test, you know? “Would you still love you me if I were a worm?” / “Would you leave your chosen family for me if I asked?”
He'd be like, Emmy, shut up, drink your drink, and stop coming up with make believe scenarios (They'd banter about it for hours, though).
But if there was a legit reason she was asking, I think Will is more than likely to take Emory’s side. Emory doesn’t typically make a big deal out of small things, so if she’s making a big deal out of something, it’s actually huge. Along with that, he knows how it is to be without her, and I can't see him going back to that again. Not willingly. He needs to be the one she holds on to. He's never served that purpose for anyone else.
As an example, the Damon and Emory at the gazebo scene: Emory says she has to tell Will what happened the night she helped him bury Natalya, and Damon response that Will’s going to kill him (or something like that). It’s clear that this issue isn’t even that big of an issue anymore, but the very fact that Damon put Emory at risk years ago is still enough to piss Will off.
Unless she gets brainwashed or otherwise manipulated into betraying them, Will is always going to choose Emory over them. Just because we didn’t get the scene doesn’t mean there isn’t a “She is everything” moment. Although, depending on how you look at it, the fact that Will was down bad (crying at the gym🎶🎶) for literally all of the series because he didn’t have Emory sort of indicates who he’s capable of living without. It was kind of a silent "she is everything".
i am haunted by the idea that will would actually cut emmy off instead off cutiing alex or damon from his life and this thought would not leave my head. Why did we never see will address his relationship and past and emmy talking about her hard boundaries and how uncomfy his past made her feel?
If you’re haunted about it, I can’t help you. I’m just words on a screen, after all.
It's an assumption that Emory still feels uncomfortable about Will’s past after she “comes into her own” on the train. You can see the train scene however you want – I personally detest it, and feel there were much better ways to communicate whatever Emory was supposed to be going through at the moment. However, I think it's pretty clear the scene was supposed to mark a change within Emory. Would a conversation between the two of them been more satisfying for readers? Probably. Was it something that the characters needed though? Was it something that Emory needed? I don't think so.
I see Emory no longer caring that he’s been “on top of half the graduating class”, or ever thinking that he’ll leave her for Alex in a heartbeat. These things just don’t matter anymore. They’re small issues that she has the confidence to handle if they come up, but she’s not going to waste her time worrying about them. Not when she as a life to live, finally being happy with Will.
The reason I think this is partly because those things happened between Rika and Michael. Rika had to have the “You won’t be sleeping with anyone else, right?” talk with Michael, which he didn’t answer because he was fully planning on sleeping with other girls while waiting for her to grow up. Again later, she had to tell him she doesn’t like being followed, or told where to go, or that she’s expected to stay home, waiting for him to come back.
Will isn’t Michael, though. And he made clear that if she gave him half a chance, he was going to be exclusive. That’s what he wanted. Additional, Will doesn’t have any expectations of Emory’s behavior, other than she's exclusive to him as well (you'll be the mother to my children, sit at my table, warm my bed - but of course, this is also where he wants to be: the father to her children, giving her a home to live in, being in her bed). She runs this show, and he loves that. More importantly, she knows that. All he expects of her is to be happy.
At the same time, we got the "She is everything" scene from Michael because there was miscommunication between him and Kai. I don't think there's any confusion from the guys what position she takes in Will's life by the time Will and Emory are married. As long as she let's him stay, she'll be number one.
But, of course, I'm used to shipping couples that were never canon, so then maybe I'm off in an OTP happiness bubble.
but i didnt feel like pd f up kill switch, but damon's character in general felt really unromantic for a dark erotica/ romance hero whoks supposed to be possessive obsessive non-sharing heroes,
I think this may be the issue some readers are having. Because what do you mean “non-sharing”? There was never the promise of no-sharing at any part of DN. Every book had sharing. Every book was going to have sharing, regardless if it fit into the plot or not.
And while I don’t consider the rikamichaelkaibanks bonus scene to be canon because PD didn’t even really write it, they just thought about it, it’s a clear indicator that whatever poly situation they’ve got going on is something the characters enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it as a reader, that’s one thing, but it’s not the author’s responsibility to write something you enjoy. The main responsibilty an author has is to write something that's true to them. And edit. Please, edit.
And I don’t say all this to mean that you’re wrong in any way.
DN doesn’t follow a lot of the trends. It adds different twists to common trends, which can be misleading for people who are reading based on tropes. Sometimes I feel that PD is trying to be too edgy and it falls flat and is cringe. I feel that sometimes PD missed the mark in executing their otherwise very good ideas because they were so focused on other things. It’s not a series that's going to work for everyone.
Based on everything I’ve read/seen/heard, I can tell that PD is not an author for me. There were so many things about this series that didn’t work for me, but the few things that did really caught me, and those are the things I like to think about. Everything else I headcanon my way around.
But I am sorry the series had such a bad reaction for you. Since reading is supposed to be an enjoyable past time, I hate the idea that you spent so much time reading something you couldn't enjoy. I hope whatever you move on to next is better!
Thanks for stopping by 😊
KO
2 notes · View notes
mysimsyuri · 9 days
Note
🫵 you.
🏁- if not at the same time, who started pining first? how long until it became mutual (if ever)?
🛏️- did you two ever have a "there's only one bed" moment?
💭- who daydreamed about the other more often? what did they think about most?
ough thankyou elliot for asking vague ones so i can indulge...... (these two have been plaguing my brain All Day . queerplatonically)
🏁 - not to sound a little self absorbed but i do think it was shawn for sure. i have in depth feelings abt shawns feelings for the ppl around him but i wanna wait til im further into the show to say anything but uh !! he had a lil crush on me for a bit but after i was like "bro im aroace" he backed off and the feelings developed more into how he felt abt gus (didnt know anything abt qprs yet, just thought it was ~best friend vibes~; also hed had feelings for gus for literal Years and just kind of assumed thats what they were) so he just kinda sat back and let the feelings fester (he skipped a lot between thinking they Were romantic and trying to give me space so he didnt make me uncomfy/things w gus weird and those aforementioned ~best friend vibes~) until it grew to full on pining for both me And gus.
paragraph break woag. um after that it was me, i realized i had queerplatonic crushes on them both about a couple months later ?? also i just assumed that gus and shawn were in a qpr already cuz of how they acted fghdkjfg so it was just like "ok cool. should i ask if they need a third or would that be weird. im gonna say weird and just sit here and Pine"
gus. hrm. i think he definitely liked shawn for a little while and were gonna pretend i can name a certain time in the show to back this up. maybe they both nearly died and the experience awakened something in him idk. he pined for him a little but not w me (i still dont have the details of how we all started the relationship but i think i bring up qprs and theyre both like "huh??? thats. is that what this is???" so he only starts liking me like that After we start being together (we didnt think to just. share shawn. we were just like "ok were all together now. the three of us. wahoo"))
🛏️ - not particularly cuz theres not rlly a bed in the office (unless there is. once again 10 episodes in sdfhjg) ?? But there are all nighters and naptimes w the one couch . usually for naps well just sleep at our desks but sometimes u just gotta stretch out n lay down yknow and if somebodys already there then oh well!! shawn has woken up multiple times to both me And gus passed out nearly on top of him (and vice versa ofc but shawn looks the coziest. i lay on him on purpose)
💭 - tbh prolly me a teehee :]c shawn and gus are usually too busy working to daydream while i just sit at my desk thinking abt them rescuing me from something or other... or just what it would be like to hug them .
2 notes · View notes
rab1darachn1d · 28 days
Text
INTRO TIME RAAA
Finally making an intro i was pushing it off bc i didn't wanna unpin my friends art(@mechcanicalmadness THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER HE IS SO COOL THIS IS MY DAD HE MADE THE FIRST TWO ARTS HES SO COOL AND AWSUM)
I AM ALSO A SILLY HELPER FOR THE @bungostraycreatures BLOG GO CHECK IT OUT ITS SO SILLY(and its also ran by mechmadness so yk its gonna be a banger)
actual intro under cut
Name: Ozzie, though Ingo/Asmo/Rabid are some nicknames aswell as anyname taken from my url
Pronouns: He/they if you don't like using multiple pronouns for someone though if you can remember to use them interchangeably then all pronouns(also neos r cool i like spider and tech themed ones)
Agender, bi, aroace spectrum
TVhead robotkin send me things of tvs/tv heads PLEASE
Special interests are spiders(specifically tarantulas) and psychology
Dyslexic!!! Sorry for spelling mistakes/reading stuff wrong and please don't use super small or hard to read fonts when talking directly to me!!!
MINOR!!! idc if ur over 18 and interact or if we are mutuals but dont be weird please I will just block you
FAIR WARNING LOTS OF SWEARING AND TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!!
WE STAND WITH PALESTINE🇵🇸
SYSTEM THINGS*****
-i am the host and this is my acc though they post shit on here too
-their posts will be tagged with ***postinghours(Dzaipostinghours for an example)
-I love answering questions!!! However I am not a medical professional and I cannot diagnose you or speak for other systems!!!
-^ Don't ask abt triggers, alter roles or trauma I will ignore you or call you a dumbass nosey weirdo
-BSD fictive heavy(dont be weird about them or theyll block you and idk probably call you a freak)
-^ don't bring up source trauma unless they make jokes about it first OR if they are friends with you
-^ First to treat any of them like a fictional character gets their limbs ripped off<33
-if ur another fictive theyd like to say hi but dont be weird and understand they might see you differently then how you remember them
-if you say "Can *** stop fronting/can you switch with ***" I will throw rocks at you and you will get blocked
-^ if u wanna talk to someone or have a message for someone we are happy to tell them
DNI*****
-Proshippers and zoophiles(YALL R FUCKING NASTY GO AWAY)
-"radfems" and "terfs" (fuck you go away)
-Pro Israel mfs
-Endos, we will not participate in any syscourse but yall make me uncomfy
-Homophobes, transphobes, etc
-"*** personality disorders are absuive" go away die go shoo get OUT(ily people with personality disorders)
-people who are against others with "scary" disorders fuck off you aren't helpful
-pro ed mfs... wth are yall doing
-NSFW ONLY blogs (nothing against yall but im a minor)
-people who are shitty towards therians, otherkins, xenogenders, etc
FANDOMS*****
Bsd is my main fandom and hyperfixation but I also like
-Deadplate
-Genshin Impact
-Honkai star rail
-Hollow knight
-Pokemon
-Madness Combat
-Guilty Gear
-Wuthering Waves
-Cookie Run Kingdom
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
bongwaterbunny · 3 months
Note
babe you can't apologize for saying you want to hurt me. like. not to be weird but it's hot. but on a serious, non sexual note- I feel the same way with you, I get it. I don't really call myself pathetic as an insult, weirdly enough it's kind of just stating the obvious for me. it's less an insult or self deprecating and more like just saying things about myself that are objectively true at this point. it doesn't hurt really- but like. I just get jealous sometimes honestly?? which is weird because I have another *partner*, I have a weird relationship with Killer and I have fuckbuddies to hang out with all the time. I'd understand if you were jealous, but not me. I don't have that right. that's why I was so mean to myself- I'm sorry. thank you for caring about me, I really do appreciate it even though it doesn't seem like it. I love you to death, Bunni.
you were upset cuz you were jealous? you know you can always tell me that stuff right baby? i don't want you beating yourself up thinking ill be uncomfy if you bring something up, if somethings on your mind n i have a slight chance of being able to fix it i want that chance! you're definitely allowed to be jealous, i genuinely don't mind it if you wanna be posessive with me i just know that you have other people youre also posessive of n i dont want to be too clingy or do anything to make you feel like you're *trapped*, yk?
2 notes · View notes
eggnogs-stupid-ideas · 4 months
Text
Im bored and i want to post but I dont know what to post so im deciding im gonna post au refs but one at a time for now on and also in the order i finished them so tw for a character drawn in under-gardments, nothing else is shown besides that but just in case that makes anybody uncomfy
Tumblr media
Im shocked ive not yet posted my eggnog ref on here being... eggnog- The boy! The stupid man! Yes I draw him overweight because he is santa claus and the only santa claus I will allow to be buff is nicholas saint north, next question So for some au lore summary, since I last wrote about his story... forever ago (and the old one is severely out-dated) Eggnog was born in the town Cotton was born in but way earilier, and he was born with a magic-disorder that caused him to be unable to fully process of show emotion. And then he got sick! And then he ran away into the snow mountains because Frost Queen didnt wanna pick him up I guess. He was going to be a snowflake, but Frost Queen decided it would be better to make him her assistant, with a bonus of course; she would give him the ability to process and show emotion, as long as he had a outside source of emotion to feed on. Rebirthed as Snow Angel, but still able to take the form of his past self (now with cool wings!), Eggnog later ended up joining the G.F.E foundation (the gifting cookies organization, I dont remember if theres a canon name but thats been my au one for a while so), for three reasons; -To get a constant stream of happiness in the less joyful times of month -To be able to search for children marked with the blessing of the snowflakes -And because it just genuinely made him happy to bring a smile on kids faces, since he wasnt able to have that. ANd now hes where he is in current day, woo! Fun fact, his body inside is majorly made of snow, including a system based on ice magic, so he is almost constantly cold
3 notes · View notes
am-i-sans · 11 months
Text
dnd adventures 22
i wasnt here last session check moss's blog for what happaned
uh frog died cause they fought a dragon and undyne activated mom mode to bring them back lol dans is in for a surprise also tori lighting bolted dess lol.
dans cam and inferno pop out of eeby deeby! everyones in an inn. dess is still in the woods i guess? undyne tells us about what happaned. dans and cam dont handle it very well. (tori took frog out of the room) undyne begins beating the shit out of inferno for calling frog dying a skill issue. cam asks undyne not to cause frog will be sad but shes in mom mode lol.
dans and cam find frog eating with tori and suzy. dans and cam are very worried. dans hands are shaking and he looks at tori all misty eyed. dans asks frog if he can hug them. hug trapped by cam and dans lol awwwww. undyne finally finds us lol. dans lets go and pats cam on the head. hes emotionally exhausted. cam is distressed.
cam tells frog they shouldnt be comforting them since their the one that needs comforting. dans plays with tori's hand and puts a feather in her hand to help her stay grounded. cam says feather gifting is romantic lol. dans tells cam hes gonna make them hold eggs lol. frog giggles awww. dans walks over and takes the scarf back, balls it up, and puts it in their hand. then he goes back to playing with tori's hand. cam holds undynes hand lol.
undyne isnt good at comforting frog but shes trying dammit. cam and frog are giggling at how gay cam is lol. frog is trying to heal inferno. cam walks over to dans with the scarf. he wraps it around cam and tell them to consider it theirs. undyne makes inferno lay down so frog can heal them. inferno goes back to stealing lol. dess is also in the cafe.
inferno sees dess is talking to an older man. the man is dressed like a cleric and you cant see his face. dess looks uncomfy. (inferno and dess havent mess) undyne notices and points out dess. (cam teaches dans what thank you is in bird) undyne goes up to dess. the man stops speaking.
the man apologizes to undyne for dess's behavior (its fuckin charity gaster i wanna fuckin stab him grrr) (dans and cam are teaching each other how to swear lol) dans notices undyne was gone a while and goes to find her. (cam tries to repeat fuck you in dwarven) notgaster says he promises that dess will behave.
dans walks in. hes uncomfy and doesnt know why. hes shorter and can see his face. some sort of elf with facial cracks. dans feels like the wind was knocked out of him and he takes a step back. undyne notices but dans cant really answer her right now. (inferno went eeby deeby)
he says something to dess we cant hear and he hands dans a stone card. dans reacts on instinct and slaps the card away. he says that they should leave. undyne says she has questions to ask this dude so dans refuses to leave. the man says its his job to know things. he takes the card back and addresses undyne by name and goes to leave. undyne uses divine sense on him. yep hes evil. she pulls dans behind her. (cam goes eeby deeby) the stone card fell out of his pocket. undyne inspects it. its hard to read and has a face on it. dans and undyne look at dess like wtf. dess cant tell us. she also cant tell us what the card says. undyne keeps it.
we go back to the group. undyne remembers were supposed to look for info on how to end the curse. dans is told to talk to steve since dess borked it. undyne senses evil on steve :( she takes everyone away and tells them yeah hes evil.
we try and charm steve using tori's spells. failed. dans just says fuck it and goes in. he tries to talk to steve and get him to explain whats happening. undyne cast zone of truth. he admits hes been following us and then realizes hes telling the truth and is sus. he shuts up.
dans calls undyne to break a bone. moss CHEATS and doesnt let him be intimidated. dans tells undyne to start with the fingers. he just starts laughing? asshole. undyne breaks a toe but he doesnt react. dans is watching closely. dans starts looking for clues but steve says we wont find anything. steve says he has a 'personal interest' in our adventures. he needs us dead. hes being a smug asshole. he wont tell us why. he did not put the curse on us though.
undyne offers to finish him off and he just laughs. dex saving throws?! he casts fireball! i only got 4 damage cause i am resistant and i rolled high too lol. undyne fucking does 62 pure radiant damage. hes radiant resistant but that still hurts! he transforms! black armored plate from his skin, claws, horns, skull head. tori walks into this with dess. tori trapped suzy and frog behind a wall lol.
UNDYNE IS DROPPED TO 1 HP WTF she survives, we buff and heal her and she calls soupnik! SUZY SCALED THE WALL SHES IN THE GAME TOO! also hes immune to necrotic damage so my spells suck
UNDYNE IS DOWN. dans keeps getting crits cause hes so fuckin mad wtf. he wants to kill undyne. dans tells soupnik to save undyne and take her away and they get away. since were attached to undyne by the curse, we can be teleported away. we just need to survive long enough for that to happen.
dess tries to teleport away. dans uses dimension door on him and suzy (its what tori would want) steve begins regenerating since undyne is like gone lol. dess is trying to help frog escape the wall.
finally god has mercy and teleports everyone to dans. dans supports up undyne and has frog help heal her. dans has to tell undyne she almost died. and we have to tell frog that steve is super evil. frog is in disbelief that undyne LOST.
suzy yells at tori for locking her in a wall. we did infact almost kill him we got from over 400 hp to almost 100. so we get exp cause fuck. we get on soupnik cause steve might follow us so we gotta go. dans sets up camp when we land cause everyones fuckin tired.
4 notes · View notes
parfaitpuppymogai · 2 years
Text
[[ OLD PINNED - OUTDATED ]]
.
.
.
.
.
ₓ˚. ୭ ○◦˚. .˚ₓ☆ soft fuzzy mogai 。・:*:,。・゚☆
♡ intro & tagz, boundariez, byi, dni ♡
reqs: 0/0 - inbox closed (⁠´⁠∩⁠。⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠。⁠∩⁠`⁠)
Tumblr media
(art by aimkidblast, i dont support her beliefs regarding endos though.)
hello there!! my namez r everett, modify & fuzzy, n thiz iz my mogai blog!! i primarily uze neoz + they/them primary, and my secondary priority iz he/it!!
im nonbinary (demiboy/genderfaun/paraboy/idk + many many xxenoz)!!
sexuality wize, im vincian/gay (nwlnw), and aspec & arospec!! :3c
(yes i use the green and blue flag, and i will never not use it. if you dont like it block me.)
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ i will do 。・:*:・゚☆,。・:*:・゚,。・:*:・゚☆
♡ coining (💕 a trick of the light to love you tonight)
♡ coining reqs (💝 although i have no arms to hold you in)
♡ themed gender liztz (💖 im not like other guys who have a surface)
♡ moodboardz/ztimboardz (💓 a shimmering puff of indistinct love)
♡ iconz (💞 whats better than the vague embrace of a soft fuzzy man?)
♡ pronoun/name suggeztionz & checkz (💌 i know it sounds crazy)
♡ chatting/misc poztz (💗 so please baby please baby step into the mist!)
♡ reblogging thingz from my old acc that im ztill proud ov (🍥 ghost town)
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ i will KNOT do 。・:*:・゚☆,。・:*:・゚☆
♡ anything 2 do with groupz im not apart ov
♡ coining 4 harmvul/hatevul identities (exx. dream minecraft sexual, clovergender, etc)
♡ anything on the blacklizt
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ boundariez 。・:*:・゚☆,。・:*:・゚☆
♡ due 2 my anxxiety involving death threatz n hate mezzagez n the like, i do not allow anon azkz, srry ómò (thdr@m@s amirite...) iv u want to req something anonymouzly plz dm me it!!
♡ i haz a topic blacklizt which basically has everything i revuse 2 make terms based on, plz do not suggest anything on the topic blacklizt!!
♡ le dni appliez 2 anyone who fits it, idc iv ur public abt it or not
♡ iv ur on my dni plz do not uze my termz, and do not recoin/"reclaim"/baztardize them!! (n plz do not complain abt it to me iv u r pro-endo. u already haz tonz ov alternative labelz 2 use az most ov the mogai community iz unvortunately pro-endo.)
♡ u can repozt my termz p much anywhere, EXCEPT 4 fandom wikiz. but PLZ credit me and specify that i do not want endoz uzing my termz!! (exx. "coined by softfuzzyaemogai on tumblr. the coiner is uncomfy with nontraumagenic systems using their terms.")
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ b4 u interact 。・:*:・゚☆*:・,。・:゚☆
♡ i do not tag/cw swearing/provanity, however i do tag/cw reclaimed slurz.
♡ i am a furry, iv ur uncomvy w that plz just fucking block me.
♡ iv u bring up anything on the topic blacklizt towardz me plz censor it!! /srs
♡ plz uze tone tagz when interacting
♡ iv ur gonna dm me abt anything, plz put an underztandable intro (like your virzt mezzage, or the mezzage zubject, etc). i wanna know what the mezzage iz abt,, zeeing "(no zubject)" or "we need to talk" makez me rlly anxiouz
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○ do not interact iv u... 。・:*☆:・,。・:゚☆
♡ know me irl
♡ are already on bad termz w me
♡ vall under bazic dni criteria
♡ are friends w anyone on my people blacklizt. i literally CANNOT trust u iv u r :(
♡ arent gay but still engage in gay flag discourse or have "x flag users dni"
♡ you go by the namez mentioned in my topic blacklizt
♡ dream/dsmp fans
♡ dhmis avatars (regular fanz r ok, but those w avatars vrom the show make me super uncomvy)
♡ uze wrath neopronounz, such as wra/wrath/wraths. someone with those neoz haz traumatized me & it's like one ov my biggest triggerz.
♡ are tolerant/a fan ov 4ch*n, l*lc*w, kiwif*rms, etc. im zurprized thiz iznt under bazic criteria
♡ headcanon lgbt characterz as thingz they arent. for example, headcanoning a canonically gay man as a nonbinary lesbian
♡ are a lgbt f*tsihiz*r (straight ppl who read yaoi, cis ppl who like "traps/f*mb*ys", etc)
♡ are a lgbt exclus ov any kind (ex. dont think asexxualz belong in the community, think xxenogenderz r "the reason cishetz think actual trans ppl r faking", etc)
♡ heavily r*lig*ous
♡ find thingz about me obnoxiouz to the point where you feel the need to talk about it
♡ my zpecial intereztz are a trigger/dizcomvort vor you
♡ into g*recore/h*tecore
♡ fans ov fucked up media (ex. fnf vs /v/-tan mod, alfr*ds pl*yhouse)
♡ fans ov my triggerz (i wont list them publicly 4 my own savety, but i will block u myselv iv i vind out)
♡ you think cisphobia, heterophobia, racism against whites, etc. iz an actual problem
♡ you think women can be vincian/vincians can like women, or that men can be lesbians/lesbians can like men (this includes demiboy lesbians/demiboy gays)
♡ you make jokez abt traumatic things (ex. "this song slaps harder than my dad") (those who have that trauma n use humor to cope r ok)
・:*:・゚☆,。・:*:・゚,。・:*:・゚☆・:*,。・゚,。・:*:,。・゚☆,。・:*:,。・゚
Tumblr media
here iz my dni banner, it doeznt have my vull dni but doez have thingz that i believe r the mozt important. the "ae" in my name literally meanz "anti endo" so itz not my vault iv an endo reblogz it.
17 notes · View notes
pastelpolitoed · 1 month
Text
.
opened up to some friends about what ive beeen going through the last couple weeks and i have never so badly wanted to eat every word i put out there, i feel so hella uncomfy being seen with what i talked about and i want to vaporize myself from where i sit so i dont have to deal with the aftermath of having to talk about these things ive already started to talk about because it makes me feel like less of a me given the things i talked about like. i dont wanna talk about these things anymore, and i think i revealed WAY too much when i was poked and prodded to and now people are """"worried""" and im just like man im just here, i aint going anywhere, im doing fine! its all fine :D im fine, right? im fine, and i am way too nervous and afraid to bring them back up and i really hope no one does a follow up and we can all let this be buried in the past
not to mention the one to get the most out of me cut our conversation short to go be with his fwb who ended things the following day and im just :)
i dont wanna make folks worry, and i dont wanna be a bother? others have a LOT on their plate, and some other friends wouldnt want to hear it, and the few ive talked to about the more major pressing details i feel like im either bothering or unloading too much on them so i kinda just wanna. hide. until things get better. or disappear til they dont.
on the flip side of it not eating anything but a few taco bell tacos in a 72 hour timespan has made my jawline look fucking amazing right now, like. i get it now. i get it??* *starving youself is very unhealthy, do not do this please go eat something and drink water if someone is reading this, i am currently making food so this is not a thing i am actively doing on purpose
1 note · View note
Note
hey bae i was wondering if you could do some dating fourth grade hcs <3
ofcc, I love him sm hes so underrated :((
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I feel like his real name is Dylan, I'm not sure why but I jus feel like it is
you're one of the only people who calls him by his real name (or anything other than Fourthgrade really) and he truly appreciates it sm <33
I feel like hes not actually that dumb, he just lacks common sense
his best subject is math and if you're ever behind on it he tries his best to teach you and make sure you understand
when it's time to meet your family he is a nervous wreck.
he would be stuttering and sweating the entire time
he jus wants to make sure they like him cause he really wants to be with you :(
you're definitely his first s/o
he loves trying different hair colors and he gets you to help him (it's also an excuse to get his head massaged and scratched lol)
he has a box full of tapes that hes made using his camera and 90% of them are just lil vids of you
he saves up his money to buy you nice gifts on important milestones (your birthday, anniversary, Christmas, etc)
he loves matching with you, for awhile he didn't say it cuz he thought you would think its weird
but if you're ok with it, he wants to match 24/7 (he especially loves to match Halloween costumes if you celebrate hehe)
purposely leaves his things at your house so he has an excuse to see you again
if you dont already know how to skate, he will gladly spend however long it takes to teach you
skate dates!!
definitely a listener over a talking so he sits and listens to you talk forever with lil nods every now and then so you know he hears you
holds all your things for you all the time
walks you to each class even if its across the school and makes him late to his own
loves physical touch sm but is scared to make you uncomfy </3
records all your dates and titles them to look back on later
your first ever date was to the drive-in (he begged fuckshit to let him use his car) (I kinda wanna write this-)
his parents are aware that their son doesn't have much experience or luck when it comes to dating so they were hesitant when he started bringing you around cus they didn't want you to be playing with his feelings :(
but now that they've gotten to know you, they adore you <33
he waited so long before bringing you to his house since he doesn't have much, he was embarrassed (and sometimes still is) abt it
wants you to be the star in all his movies in the future, no matter if you can act or not
the first kiss was a bit awkward to say the least- (I could also elaborate on this another time if you'd like)
his love language is words of affirmation, he's had some pretty mean things said to him so pls jus tell him how much you love and appreciate him <3
Tumblr media
I hope those were good, I wrote these down over the pass few days jus coming up with anything lmao
any likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! pls dont repost my works on any website with out credit !!!
323 notes · View notes
jehans-flower-pot · 3 years
Text
having existential crisis and panicking might just come out to friends to make myself panic abt smth else
2 notes · View notes
earthgh0st · 3 years
Text
😭 okay more to rant about but whatever
#talking to my friend is really hard#throughout the years i found there r topics that make her uncomfy so i avoid those even tho i love talking abt boys n sex lololol#even some of my close friends i noticed she does not like when i talk abt them or bring up stuff i have done w tbem so that cuts out more#and when i do talk abt my interest i get so hurt at her jokes i cant talk abt those either#like i cant even watch fav movies/ shows w her bc ik ill get sad i had to stop watching the vampire diary with her bc id be crying lololol#and now that there r few things to talk abt w her#shes upset i dont talk a lot#and like i dont even mind not talking a lot abt that stuff#but she gets upset 😭😭😭#but i emotionally cannot talk abt my interests w her anymore#i cant talk abt my 2 close friends and even other ppl she seems jealous abt#and i def dont want to make her uncomfy w the subjects and comments i make about boys n stuff#and it leaves so little#and i thought we were talking more#and then i guess she thought i was mad so just got mad and stopped talking#i feel like im not doing anything right and i was just sitting there watching a show 😭😭#im just sad man#and i dont even wanna cry abt it bc whatever#AND ALSO ITS LITERALLY A RED FLAG THAT I FEEL LIKE I CANT BE MYSELF AND HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABT WHAT I TALK ABT OR BRINGING UP MY FRIENDS#I HAVE SO MANY POSTS ON HERE SPECIFICALLY ABT HER JUST MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABT JUST LIVING OR TALKING OR DOING WHATEVER#ITS NOT HEALTHY#whatever 🤡
1 note · View note
usermicky · 4 years
Text
Can I just be a nothing
1 note · View note