#so i'm just completely vulnerable

[dravidious]

Summer fucking sucks because it takes so long for the heat to go away at night so I'm just lying on my bed with the window open on top of my blanket (not even the good blanket that's on the ground) waiting, but also lying sleeping-style with no blanket over me makes me feel like some demon or monster or something could sneak up on me and touch me so. Silver lining

#original #also i sleep in my undies #so i'm just completely vulnerable #there could be imminent demon-to-skin contact #but unfortunately 'twas not meant to be #actually i would definitely Scream if something touched me at night #or if i saw something #i am not a courageous lad #just a little scaredy-cat #it was so cool for so much of june but now summer is hitting properly #and judging by some decade-old internet article it looks like the average temperature where i live peaks at august 1st #so apparently i've got another THIRTY DAYS of this bs to deal with #and i don't even have any pervy demons to make up for it #or even ojama green :(

[morzowo]

so one character got to learn how to live again, how to reenter society after traumatizing event that will forever impact his life, got to heal and rebuild his relationship with his family even estranged father, reconnected with his old friends and was able to create reliable support system of people that also grew throughout this healing process and now can understand him more and be there for him, got to graduate and start his own business and now can even give inspirational speeches to help others

and the other one had to leave two closest people to him that were his only support after his family death bc 'friends' he had before weren't type of people worth reconnecting with, move out of his country abandoning everything he knew his whole life just to * checks notes * start a job he didn't really want and the main reason he needed higher pay was to establish financial stability for one of two people who he had to leave and that no longer wanted to be with him

okay yea okay sure both cases are about personal 'growth'

#last twilight #to clarify it's more about time skip and the talk at the end of part 2 bc yea ofc mhok also changed throughout whole series in general #the fact that 'growth' for mhok was equal to getting a job just doesn't sit well with me #his sister killed herself bc of their financial problems and then they put sole responsibility on him for providing for himself and day #and it felt like it was about more than just day's disability #like ironically his mechanic friend offered more support and understanding than most of the other characters #what kind of 'growth' is uprooting yourself and leaving everyone behind when you are still in vulnerable state and need someone to rely on #it would make sense in other story with other character but here it just hurts #i do have some other problems with the series as a whole but nothing that wasn't said already #everyone is angry at part 4 but end of part 2 was the breaking point for me #moving out for work is extremely lonely and alienating experience especially when it's not even to a country you particularly care about #what is the lesson here with mhok's plot line? #to completely isolate yourself to heal from your trauma somehow without anyone close to you? #and oh yea job being the most important thing for 'personal growth' actually? #in hotel in hawaii nonetheless... #i'm getting so tired of these series not being able to stick the landing fr

[reasonsforhope]

Crowdsourcing a question

Okay totally personal post here because, now that search engines suck, my research is failing me. So I'm crowdsourcing my question about the residential care work industry!

Hoping at least some of my followers have experience in/with the industry and some intel on this:

Actual question: How common is it for jobs in residential care work (residential centers, btw, not home care) to actually have two people on the night shift? vs. just saying they always have two people on the night shift in interviews and their official policies, and actually it's not true?

Because my current job was, it turns out, apparently totally lying about "you'll never be on shift alone with clients" at orientation (when it comes to the night shift, anyway). Which, holy fucking safety issues, Batman!

Suffice to say this was a very fun thing to find out like three days before my first regular shift

So, I'm thinking realllll hard about switching companies, and I'm trying to figure out if I could expect to actually have a coworker at a different company, or if it's like an open secret in the field that actually, basically all the night shifts end up being solo shifts, because the industry is so chronically understaffed or w/e

#not news #ask #me #ideally only answer if you actually have specific knowledge of or experience with the industry #technically I'm working with disabled clients but also open to other sectors of residential care work if I do get another job #so if it's something that differs by sector please do let me know! #thanks so much #safety issues are for both me and the clients btw #this is not like “I'm afraid of the clients” in any way #it's about the fact that if something happened and I got hurt #I am the only staff in that whole house until morning #and there is MAYYYYYYYBE one client who is actually physically capable of calling for help #if I can't for whatever reason #also!!! this is an incredibly vulnerable client population with horrifyingly high abuse statistics!! #they should not be leaving someone they literally just hired completely alone with the clients every night for eight hours??? #not gonna give more details for many obvious reasons #but like. just. no. don't do that. no. #in any residential care work facility imho but ESPECIALLY in this type of facility #also like if a client has a medical emergency #you're really gonna want both someone who can render aid AND someone who can call 911 and the on-calls and such #and yes the chaos and “surprises” around this job and scheduling is why I haven't been doing original posts lately #so answering also helps me get back to doing that sooner!

[red-moon-at-night]

Survivor.

kind of a 'then vs now' comparison (idolhood vs living through everything post-idolhood) but in the same outfit.

the urge to quote "despite everything, it's still you" is very strong right now.

#milgram oc #ocgram #koike yumemi #this is where the creative energy is at today okay besties we're unpacking self-image and self-esteem and the trauma and the baggage and th #it's funny bc by drawing yumemi in a more vulnerable state I am now feeling like an overprotective parent letting my kid out into the world #I cannot tell you how much I love yumemi in all shapes + forms ;w; there's so many idol career designs I haven't even gotten to showing yet #the time difference between these two is the closest though - I'd put it at around... 8-10 months before the present day?? yeah. #is it normal to want to hug your own OC? I'm feeling that right now oough TwT #I can't really explain it but I'm really happy with this piece 💜 I think the vibes are just right yknow #my art #Edit: can't believe I completely blanked about what I wanted to mention asdfghjkl- I want to emphasise yumemi's definition of a 'normal'-- #--body is highly distorted. when u spend ur whole life in idol training regimes you forget how fucked up the whole process is. #so for her the changes to her body feel way more dramatic than they actually are... like. she just has a regular body now. but it's not-- #-- *her* normal if that makes sense?? anyway. completely forgot to mention this when that was the 1st thing I wanted to say oof

[ebbpettier]

i think part of my reasoning is that "does simon snow get his magic back" doesn't immediately register in my brain as "simon snow's power is restored to him and he can cast spells again like any other magician" in my brain, he still has magic. magic is everywhere. he just can't use magic on a personal level. and as a guy surrounded by videos without closed captions at work i jus

#del/lat #THIS IS JUST A SILLY THOUGHT SORRY FOR BOUNCING OFF YOUR POST MESSOFTHEJESS #I JUST THINK ABOUT IT A LOT #simon when he lost his magic reminds me a lot of me when i first started really feeling the CursesTM #i too completely fucking caved in on myself for a very long time and thought that my life was over #turns out the time will pass anyway #IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING TO READ BUT LIKE. only because i felt called out so hard. like having an infection excised #there are elements that will always suck (i have repeatedly been told i am Stupid as if that's something i can?? do anything about???) #(buddy if i can't understand you then i can't understand you. sorry let me just flip the lever and Regain Essential Brain Function) #it sucks! and it will keep sucking. such is the way of being able to have thoughts and feelings. #but like. the sun still came up. i'm still on the right side of the dirt. if god wants me dead hes gonna have to come down here himself #watch me delete this in an hour cause i'm shy about being vulnerable on the internet #these are really good useful books for me and i felt very seen

[waywardsalt]

Bellumbeck is such an interesting final boss, because not only is it your ally, some of the bosses actions/details make it clear that Linebeck is fighting back. Retraining Ciela instead of killing her, using moves he's seen Link do, and more darkly in the manga - willing to destroy himself if it protects Link. Link is forced to fight not just an ancient evil - but one of the closest friends he's ever made besides Tetra, and one of the few adult figures he respects. To fight Linebeck is to potientially lose another mentor as was with The King of Red Lions

Bellumbeck is so… he really stands out from pretty much all of the other final bosses and its so cool- and it’s like you say, Bellumbeck is not just some final form of varying flavors of Evil Thing or a dangerous character whose defeat the world would benefit from, that’s your fucking friend. It doesn't feel heroic like other final bosses, it feels like a desperate fight for the survival of you and your friends.

Linebeck being capable of fighting back or otherwise resisting Bellum is an interesting one; definitely a fun way to give him some sort of agency or role to play, suggesting that he may be fighting against Bellum just as hard as Link is. I think I've seen some people suggest that the slight hesitation or pause before some of Bellumbeck's attacks may be caused by Linebeck trying to stop himself (like the manga shows him doing).

I absolutely ADORE the idea that Bellumbeck uses a spin attack because it's something that Linebeck has seen Link do. The idea that it might be unconscious, or something Bellum just happened to pick up on from Linebeck's memories... UGH it's good no matter how you justify it.

On the other hand, I personally don't see how Linebeck fighting back would've had an effect on Bellum restraining rather than killing Ciela. I understand stuff like a hitch in the attacks or unconsciously influencing what attacks are made, since all of that is stuff that Linebeck has a direct (though unwilling) hand in, but Bellum grabbing Ciela is something that... Bellum individually does. I don't imagine that Linebeck would be able to have any ability to influence what Bellum himself does, especially considering that even if he can affect the part he's directly involved in it's only ever a small effect. Bellum restraining rather than killing Ciela is, I think, a deliberate choice on Bellum's part without any input from Linebeck, and honestly even that way it's still interesting to think about.

The manga's take on events is interesting, especially with the idea that, to some degree, Linebeck was able to overpower Bellum in order to move how he wanted (even though it was clearly limited to only specific parts and with clear difficulty) and the idea that he'd do... well, anything he can to ensure Link's safety is pretty good.

The general concept of a Link having to fight a possessed person isn't really new and wasn't new when Phantom Hourglass rolled around, but I honestly think ph did it best, holy shit. Link having to fight a close friend and someone in a role akin to a mentor to him is already one hell of a devastating setup, but one extra thing I've seen others point out is that the Bellumbeck fight is the second time Link's be faced with a sword fight with another human, and he ended the first one by killing his opponent. So, that's a fun correlation for Link to make during this fight!

Bellumbeck is just... it's such a cool, unique battle even compared to the other final bosses, and while it may fall short in difficulty or gameplay, it has some fantastic music and all of the story and character surrounding it is honestly amazing.

#asks #anon #loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #bellumbeck #bellum #linebeck #going to upfront admit that i'm actually a bigger fan of linebeck being helpless during bellumbeck #that he's so vulnerable to bellum's control that he is completely unable to muster up the strength to do anything #giving this a 'keep reading' bc its long #anyways free bellumbeck fight headcanon that i think is cool :)))) #link gets so upset and frightened by the visual/concept of linebeck getting possessed and forced to fight him that for the first few #minutes of the fight he's in denial having himself convinced that it's just a bad dream and that he's waiting to wake up now #and he doesn't fight back or accept that it's actual reality until he gets hit really bad and realizes he's not waking up as he's in pain #i have not played all of wind waker i cant say anything cool abt the king of red lions or that whole ganondorf fight #salty talks #ty for the ask btw!

[seventh-district]

was about to lowkey pat myself on the back for having the most liked playlist for Big Red (YuuriVoice) on Spotify but. after further searching i believe it may be the only Big Red (YuuriVoice) playlist on Spotify 😭

#Seven.txt #yuurivoice #music stuff #rp audio stuff #(might as well go ahead and make a tag for it with how much i've been posting abt it lately) #what is a win when there is no competition #(that is a Joke i do not consider playlist making to be a competition. i am Truly Shocked that anyone likes any of my playlists) #like my music taste is awful! i made those playlists to please my own taste why r u guys even here #*looks at my Dark Mode Alphonse playlist with 150+ likes* WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE #but like. that is so funny to me #am i just not finding the other Big Red playlists or am i the only person insane enough abt him to make a playlist #where's that 'if x has 1 million fans meme' #If Big Red has 1 fan‚ that one is me #and the 42 ppl that liked the playlist lmao #If Big Red has 43 fans- #okay i'm done joking around #i'm supposed to be drafting up a fic for a completely different character to post rn but i'm fucking around on Spotify instead. whoops #like sorry but the Big Red audio on Patreon yesterday hit me in the heart and got the brainworms wiggling again #me when a character i love cries for the first time: YESSS YESYESYES GIVE ME THE EMOTION GIVE ME THE VULNERABILITY OPEN UP TO ME I LOVE YOU

[rubensmuse]

oh my god i found my posts from when i got my wisdom teeth out & all i can say is what the fuck

what was she trying to prove...

#I WAS SO MAD??? #i was so paranoid about being vulnerable and so i woke up SPITTING MADE #''i'm completely lucid rn'' no girl you have poisoned yourself with your anger & fear! #you are suffused in the fucking dark side!!!! #wisdom teeth #just squirrelly things #undescribed

[bellincurl]

SCARED BEING A DRAG MONSTER WILL FIX YOU?! YOU SHOULD BE

#dragula season 5 ... #i wish i had even an inch of power to do it too #i've given up on things like dating and top surgery. being desired or safe right. saying i deserve any of that or want it just feels like #asking for violence. asking to be proven wrong. asking to be set back right #i've never run into something like this before where my desire is just not content with that. #Drag is too confronting and vulnerable 2 do it while covering my head. #I've gotten so strong about being alive except for this. #II've given up on anything else. I just want this. #this is Blind pain i've lived my life by and it doesn't need to be this way and i really don't want to Accept that bc it means it hasn't #been painful enough. this is just the tip of it. #it feels so stupid. talking up drag and hearing abt multiple ppl starting to do drag Because of me and I'm completely #ridiculously Paralyzed? Zero nerve to move? No backbone? #No mother? No scene? all it takes is confidence and attitude? can't look in a mirror without thinking yeah. They were right for it. #it's so vitriolic. I don't want to believe it. and I don't want external validation. I want to b a Drag monster. I want to back myself so #viciously it doesn't matter. I want to exist so firmly that it doesn't matter.

[clementimetodie]

.

#can't stand up for myself because standing up for myself makes me an asshole so I guess I should bend over and take it up the ass right? #I just need to live my entire fucking life completely defenseless and vulnerable lest I commit the fucking crime of having self respect #if having boundaries makes me an asshole then I guess I'm a fucking asshole #you want me to be the bad guy? fine. I'll be your bad guy

[trans-xianxian]

hmmmm I drafted an email to my boss abt how her text regarding my time off request after my mother's death made me feel very uncomfortable and how I felt like it was unprofessional should I send it

#obviously I did not go to sleep after that reblog kshdmudksb #anyway I want to but also like I work closely w her every day and I don't want to eternally feel uncomfortable because I confronted her #but at the same time like her text made me feel bad enough that it completely altered how I feel about my job #like I was going to come back next year and for summer camp but how she handled the whole thing just made me feel Bad #and like if in the future something else happens where I need extended time off she will be equally as not understanding #idk it just put a rlly bad taste in my mouth that she tried to make my co workers work life my responsibility during my time off #I feel like thats something she needs to be confronted about #but like. what outcome will that have other than making it uncomfortable to be around her for the foreseeable future #idk and also like. everyone else in my life including co workers has been so understanding and kind and compassionate #but even her My Condolences tm text was kind of cold and rude #and its like. okay maybe I'll calm down about this once I'm not In The Throws Of Grief but at the same time #I am in a very emotionally vulnerable place and someone intentionally took advantage of that to make me feel bad #thats kind of a big deal? #idk its just weird. she'd been so understanding until I actually needed something from her #I'd also sort of been getting the impression that she was growing tired of the whole broken foot thing #but I was hoping that that was just me projecting cuz I feel bad about not being helpful #now I am nawt so sure... #anyway this really sucks I really loved my work environment and then it was ruined with one (1) text #ghost posts #text

[lasdelaintuicion]

every year someone else in my family or childhood social circle turns to religious lunacy after their life starts to go to shit or they hit rock bottom and everyime it feels like watching a car crash but going "ok!" hoping they wont fall too far down the cult hell <3

#and like #ive actually been there lol im not judging #i thankfully had enough support that i didn't fully get absorbed into the church and the worldviews they parrot (completely unrelated #to the religion too) in my search for something that could help #and my little cousin had a similar experience and came to me about it because he was scared of “ending up” like his mom #since he knows i still sometimes go with her for church events and when im feeling bad but disagree with so much of what their organization #and social circle promotes and how she completely changed her behaviors in such a short period of time and got WORSE in her mental health #and it was a good talk! i hadnt felt close to him in ages it was nice #but my point is I'm not judging them #it just feels like this is becoming TOO MUCH of a trend in the family #hope the others get out of their zealot phase unscathed #my older cousin has been much more normal lately than he was in his first few years of converting to islam #he was such a stereotype #but converting or being interested in a new belief system isn't a negative thing it's just too commonly the peak of a nervous breakdown <3 #which leaves people vulnerable to cultish behaviors <3

[boiled-dennis]

dennis finally sorta acknowledges his attraction to men and starts a relationship with this random guy using a Dennis’ Relationship Standards Checklist he created that the guy has to sign. his bpd makes him deeply attached + really vulnerable way too soon without realising it, and he starts talking about himself, but the guy is really weird and says stuff in response like “y’know, i always had an interest in psychopaths.” dennis feels uneasy about it way too late and the guy ends up ghosting him because he isnt living up to the expectations he had of being with A Crazy Person (the whole situation backed dennis into a corner and really changed his demeanour), and a month later the guy is at paddy’s and dennis yells at him to fuck off, but then dee shows up and is like “why are you yelling at my boyfriend??” fully aware that dennis had a relationship with him, but not knowing any details

#this isn't from personal experience or anything. . . #bpd dennis #i do really enjoy the idea of dennis truly thinking he wants to be seen as scary and similar to serial killers- #but the second someone else puts him in that box it makes him feel trapped and like people treat him like he's a zoo animal #i want to see more vulnerability from him but in ways where he's forced out of all the personas he has put on in order to feel safe #not in any healthy or healing kinda way. just like . #agh its hard to put into words #like how he opened up in the gang gets romantic only because the gang kept thinking an incorrect thing about him #i want to see dennis get tired of it all #i want to see the gang as a whole get kinda. tired of it eventually and theyre like. damn i want things to be slightly different #i wouldnt mind if the show ended on a weirdly low note that left everyone feeling unsatisfied and strange #people i know hate discussing media with me because i love shitty endings without closure shdjkfhsdk #(when i say shitty i dont mean an ending that was rushed or not thought through) #i think a lot about how he would feel like he cannot apply the dennis system to men and just generally be so out of his comfort zone #i want to see him be more awkward again and not know how to speak or stand because he doesn't have complete control #evil autism headcanon: the dennis system is an extension of his tendency toward scripting because he needs a preexisting path in social si #situations #and if he doesnt have an idea in his head of how he's supposed to act in each scenario he just shuts down #i'm saying that jokingly but i think it would be funny if a hypothetical person tried to fully excuse everything because His Autistic Traits #but i think dennis scripting is real #episode ideas

[fungi-maestro]

The Question #8 (1987)

#book club #the question #vic sage #dc comics #comics #needle #needles #ask me if you need a new tag for that #anyway a rare moment of vulnerability from Vic at a time when he's completely convinced he's about to die #when i said that he has an obsession with second chances i seriously meant it #and again i think Spaulding is a fantastic antagonist. stories that make you wonder what 'doing good' means #and whether justification can come from motives #because objectively speaking its very bad to burn people or skin them alive. obviously very bad. #and yet hes doing so much good through his other actions that you have to stop and think about how people aren't just one thing #no one's a saint and no one is a devil. #to paraphrase vic himself later on: maybe there's not one good person in the whole world #Vic's been a real piece of shit. does all the good he's doing now atone for all of the horrible things he's done? #is atonement even Possible? #does it matter? #can we get that quote thats like 'I CARE IF I'M GOOD!' because i think it's fitting here #anyway on a lighter note i think the professor he mentions here could be Tot based on other clues he gives. #which would be kind of funny since tot clearly doesnt give a shit