#so that it seems im attracted to way more men and way less women but in reality theyre abt the same or similar

[marmorenshud]

.

#caw #personal tags #i dont think im actully less attracted to women i think i just see so many women that im not attracted to that i sometimes forget #the few women that i am attracted to #maybe i just notice less the men that im not attracted to and notice more the women that i dont #so that it seems im attracted to way more men and way less women but in reality theyre abt the same or similar #i mean in the end it doesnt matter like bisexuality is a kinsey scale its not 50-50 #i just guess ive been thinking if i actually am attracted to women anymore? or if i am just fully homosexual #idk it doesnt feel right to me to say i am fully homosexual and I've been attracted to a lot of girls before #my “preference” for girls or w/e is just more specific or less common than for men i think so it doesnt happen as often #idk i think dysphoria also plays into it and theres some internalised shame abt it too #idk why im typing this out #if you read this far hi hello

[frodolives]

1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...

🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow

the franklin expedition is dead as hell

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan

10,558 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all

#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh

659 notes

🎨 asherbrowndurand

Just painted this

2 notes

ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927

RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed

🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow

HERITAGE POST

📝 shakespearesforehead Follow

How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol

82,170 notes

🌄 loyalromantic Follow

poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/

#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect

6,884 notes

🎀 thefopdiaries Follow

I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling

📜 bartlebi-thescrivener

i think i hauve consumption

112 notes

🐋 whaler4life

They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME

11 notes

🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow

I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense

#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo

56 notes

🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow

🙈 butchbronte Follow

Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep

🙈 butchbronte Follow

I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily

8,027 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon

#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting

522 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH

#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....

2,309 notes

⭐️ newamerican

Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol

#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure

0 notes

[genderkoolaid]

my little sibling (12) recently came out as bi + transmasc and has found a lot of queer spaces both online and offline, which seemed to be great for him, but im worried their queer friend groups are not a healthy environment. like, recently he’s been making “jokes” about how women are beautiful and men are ugly and they wishes he was only attracted to women, or how boys are the worst. ive known they were learning a lot of “men suck” rhetoric already since he told me that shit when i came out as transmasc, but now im recognizing that rhetoric is leading to them having internalized transandrophobia + biphobia and i think he needs healthier friends, except they 100% will not listen if i tell him who they should hang out with. idk what to do but i want him to get out of that toxic transandrophobic environment before he internalizes too much of it. advice would be appreciated.

I think what I would do in this situation is start by introducing them to healthier, positive views on men & masculinity. Things like queer men talking about their attraction, positive takes on transmasculinity, stories about men being good people & healthy masculinity, even just people being unashamed about being attracted to men. Maybe showing him things in bi history that talk about bi masculine people & bi love for masculine people, as well as transmasculine history which talks loving transmasculinity. Having a solid, positive connection to masculinity makes it easier to feel how antimasculism hurts people. You could also bring up in conversation ways in which "men suck" rhetoric has been hurtful- maybe specifically start with butches, transmascs, trans people who were amab, because those are groups trans-positive people with antimasculist views tend to view with more sympathy, and it makes it easier to not get derailed with "cishet men aren't oppresed!" arguments and focus on the most impactful harm antimasculism does. You could mention how you've been hurt by it, or how others have repressed their identity because of it, or maybe send them Jennifer Coates' essay which heavily discusses the impact of antimasculism from a closeted trans woman's perspective.

In general, I'd avoid approaching them from the angle of "This Is Bad", and try to naturally produce a conversation where he can, for themself, question those antimasculist views and how they hurt people he cares for, as well as themself. I've mentioned this before in other scenarios, but interacting with other transmascs personally is so helpful for dealing with internalized transandrophobia. Idk what their friend group is like, but introducing him to transmasc-specific/centered spaces (online or offline) that talk positively about masculinity would not only help challenge those beliefs, but also make potentially dropping friends less intimidating because there would be other people they know would support him. Ik a lot of people have been very in that mindset from a young age and changed a lot as they grew and questioned & grew their views on gender, so if nothing else, making sure they have a source of positive masculinity in their life could be helpful in giving them the exposure they need to question those views themself.

#m. #ask box #digital transgender archive has a lot of stuff from lou sullivan + transmasc magazines #as well as bi stuff im p s ure

[hadesoftheladies]

so i was reading a paper that someone wrote on a study they did on BL/yaoi fans and fandom (i didn't know a lot about it until like . . . this year), and it had me thinking. some years ago i made an observation on female obsession with gay romances in popular entertainment where I said that I didn't think fans were all interacting with this content from a fetishistic perspective, as much as fetishism and homophobia were common.

as much as there have been straight men that fetishize lesbian relationships, i also thought that perhaps bisexual or straight women's interaction with BL could be a bit more nuanced than entitlement to gay men and their experiences. i thought that there was an element of detachment that gay romances gave women, where men were humanized and female characters did not have the burden of humanizing him. it was an avenue where women and girls could enjoy their attraction to men or what they loved about men without being visible, without any romantic or sexual demands being put on them. it was a way to explore not only their own sexualities, but also their weird (in regard to the predator-prey situation) oftentimes tragic attraction to men. it was a projection of an ideal relationship with a man, one based on true equality in an especially semantic sense.

i think some of these fascinations can be classified as more voyeuristic than fetishistic, especially when they aren't about injecting the female experience with men into the gay experience (like making gay sex more heterosexual in descriptions) and are much more focused on fictional characters/symbols than parasocial relationships with gay influencers/celebrities. rather, some of them seem to be using the (sometimes idealized) gay experience to escape the female experience with men. men loving men (romantically/sexually) seems to be a purer version of male love that women hope to experience but oftentimes do not or cannot, given the homoerotic admiration and respect men hold for other men, but do not extend to women. therefore they opt to be voyeurs. not saying this is necessarily good or bad.

i'm not an avid participant in BL and won't go anywhere near yaoi, especially because of like . . . well everything about yaoi, but I do enjoy gay romance (and lesbian romance) stories, and which i gravitate to more varies according to whatever season of life I'm in on the bi-cycle XD. but i have noticed that i do enjoy these things differently, or rather, what i enjoy about them differs based on my own experiences with patriarchy. it is difficult to imagine het relationships outside the patriarchal hierarchical dynamics, even in fantasies. whereas, removing that relation feels . . . idk, safer, less stressful and more natural to me.

i'm just kind of thinking through things, like, sexuality (not orientation) can be really complex because of how much culture can influence it and the perception of self and I'm just wondering how much BL is escapism for women attracted to men.

anyway, im just thinking out loud here. just putting words out there hoping to find something concrete. but I'm curious, how many radblr users interact with bl/gl or yaoi?

and please share with me your personal opinions/experiences with bl/gl or other variations/genres of it like yaoi

#radblr #radfem #im honestly curious #honestly hoping i don't cause an outbreak of outrage with this one #but im open to learning and being disagreed with #here goes nothing

[midnighttreasureseeking]

James Somerton and the Vampire Chronicles

Ok last thing about this whole James Somerton situation before watching the hbommerguy video.

James Somerton made several videos in which he mentions interview with the vampire and they always rubbed me the wrong way. In the last one, a video of which im still trying to figure out the point, he spends about 20 min trying to tell us that Anne Rice was the first person the portray the vampire as sexy. Which is not true, for example 'The vampire lovers' was made in 1970 and 'The kiss of the vampire' in 1963 (and then i havent even talked about literature). It is not Anne Rice's original idea that vampires can be sexy. But the portrayals of sexy vampires before 1975 were mostly women being sexy, and i guess that doesn't count for him.

The only other things he could talk about was how sexy the main characters are (in a way that made me honestly uncomfortable because he seemed to be undermining the point of the scenes and the show in general) and to give us a general summary of the show he spends ten minutes on.

He goes into the attractiveness of lestat in the book and briefly the show but he goes into no further depth beyond that. And there is a lot to say about attraction in the vampire chronicles beyond that!! Why do we get a ten minute summary of the show instead, where nothing is mentioned to further your point?

Don't get me wrong, Interview with the Vampire is my current hyperfixation and i love hearing about it. But i already knew the plot of the show and you had a point to make, right?? (the point never gets made)

When watching the video back when he posted it i was pretty disappointed that he went into so little depth regarding the show, certainly after the analyses i had already read about it, but now i'm honestly relieved. No doubt he would have directly stolen from our amazing meta creators and analysts in this fandom.

There are more things i can talk about.

His endless praise of Anne Rice as the saviour of all gay people while every other woman (including queer women) is bad for liking and creating content about gay men. (heartstopper, fanfiction, etc.)

How he doesn't mention the racism present in the books while only sparing a sentence or two talking about the handeling of racism in the show. And with that taking a firmly white lens stating that Lestat releases Louis from the shackles of humanity and therefore racism and homophobia. Which, when you watch the show, is obviously not what actually happens. Louis is still factually a black man in the Jim Crow south, he just also has to kill people now and can't talk to his family. Not crazy he doesn't take to vampirism so easily. But James seems to agree with Lestat that he should get over it and have fun.

He does not talk about any of the misogyny present in the books, just not at all. I don't remember him talking about the women in the books or the show at all either...

Now i'm going back to real life where people disappoint me far less

here 5 youtubers that source their content

#james somerton #iwtv #a rant #There is also weird stuff he said about yuri on ice #some weird stuff about japan and the language #Also the whole queer women have it easier around rep thing??? #I should have seen it as a sign and unsubscribed #Feel free to add things or correct me on things i have said

[v-anrouge]

oh another thing for the topic from before

I’ve been identifying as bi since I was 12, when I still identified as a women I was so scared I would get shit and attacked by people that I’m supposedly in the same community as because I have a preference for masc presenting people when as far as I knew it was normal in that community to be like “ew I wish I wasn’t attracted to men. Woman good.” And shit like that. Like what the fuck. also it seems bi men/masculine people don’t get the same rep as women/feminine/androgynous people are more marginalized just because they’re men.

also why tf are non binary people being treated like women 2.0. I also find (im not 100% sure on this because I’m afab) amab non binary people to have way less rep.

sorry for the ramble

yeah il just avoid entering this topic i already got enough anons insulting me saying i hate women because of the hc that i hate

#✎ ⇣‧₊˚ 【asks #ৎ୭ ⇣‧₊˚ 【stinks #♡ᭂ ⇣‧₊˚ 【 asra's sorbet

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

was reading the backlog and got to the HSY slander and I figured I'd put my foot into the ring of why she deserves to be here.

In the entire novel, Kim Dokja only comments on finding three women attractive personally. One was Han Suyeung the second was a gernderbent YJH, the third a trans woman and KDJ took months to even comprehend that. (It was a thing about how a comment he posted in middle school may have affected the character's narrative and not wanting to think about the implications of that. She does assume he's transphobic and comments on how only Earth is like that though.)

He comments on how attractive plenty of men are. He comments how he can understand why guys find women in the cast attractive, one of the first things he comments about regarding Yoo Sangah in the entire novel is how he kinda understands why so many guys at the company they both work at ask want to ask her out, but he personally didn't have any thoughts on that.

But with who you're left with, YJH is expected. KDJ cannot shut up about how attractive that man is. Sex or gender will not change that. Jang Hayeung was introduced to the story because a middle school KDJ wanted the author of his favorite novel to add his OC who was precision designed as a girl middle school KDJ would crush on into the novel. Han Suyueng was different. The other two are characters written with KDJ's tastes in mind. Han Suyeung he simply finds attractive, which is something he just doesn't usually feel for women.

Off topic, but you asked about Yoo Sangah. Before the story, before reality became the novel KDJ was obsessed with, he and Yoo Sangah were coworkers. He thought she was cool, she thought he was cool. I don't think they would ever be able to even comprehend dating each other for anything but to stop guys from harassing Yoo Sangah.

You see, Yoo Sangah is Kim Dokja's platonic soulmate. They are best friends. Yoo Sanhah is a typical office drama heroine. Kim Dokja is a main character you'd see in a power fantasy. They rarely interacted at work but both had moments that made the other consider them inspirational. They both admire the other's outlook. The way they interact made a lot of people in story assume they were together, including quite a number of gods.

But as the story goes on, you end up with less and less of an idea that they would actually get together. It seems more like there's a love story between her and Han Suyeung in the background.

That's certainly the impression we get in the epilogue.

If you wanted my take, you have YooHanKim, and then Yoo Junghyuk and Han Sooyeung each have another wife. (YJH's is Lee Seolhwa, don't worry about her.) There is another guy, Bihyung, that by the end of the novel I could see KDJ also getting with but he's kinda... infeasible because of circumstances.

ok so what im getting from this is 5 of them.

i keep sayin!! the more the merrier!!!!!

#i read everything btw and its very interesting!!! #i just had to make the joke cause in this house we only Add to the polycule we do not turn polycules into pairings! #that said i am worried about the lady u said not to worry about #ppspropaganda #long post

[sapphos-darlings]

i think i might be both lesbian and ftm (definitely homosexual, female, dysphoric, have considered transition for years and think it genuinely may help - its just putting the pieces together that gives me hesitation). im single, have dated a few other trans men when i identified differently, but ive never tried to date in the lesbian community. im trying to figure out how it would, i guess, work if i did transition? my current plan of "meet women & transmascs looking to date women or transmascs, tell them im a transmasc lesbian immediately, hope they understand what i mean and also mutual attraction is there" seems honest but possibly unlikely to work. am i missing something, or is it just a hard path im considering? i know one of the mods previously lived as a trans man so i was hoping you might have some experience or advice to share

Your identity, while it will sound wildly conflicting by the book, is actually not at all out there or anywhere near as rare as you'd believe. People are rarely black and white or fit into neat boxes, and transmasculine people have a long history with homosexual women. There have been, and continue to be today, butch lesbians who are taking testosterone or who have had mastectomies, and who go by male pronouns. Gender dysphoria and breaking the rules of our gendered society, in both gay and lesbian communities, has always been so prevalent that this cross-gender expression is rightfully part of our recognised cultural heritage, and one of the most rooted stereotypes associated with us. Even with the rise of transgender people's own, clearly separate rights movement, there is much more overlap in reality than these easy to identify labels would let you believe.

You, as an individual, do not have to be "lesbian" or "ftm" or "female" or "male" or "man" or "woman" in any particular way. It's up to you to express yourself, not your categories; while people instinctively assume that a label will cover all that you are, this is never the case for a person. We are so much more than these aspects of our identity.

And yes, the opposite is still true: there are gay men who date transgender women, and gay women who date transgender men. I follow plenty of trans channels to date as it's both relevant to my life now and to my history before and remains an interest, and some of these channels are for partners of trans people. One of the most common topics brought up is how to match one's identity label to the seemingly out-of-bounds relationship that is happening now, and seeing so many of them, and the unique situations of the people behind them, you come to realise that a label is not a natural fit for people, it's just something we make up to find community.

Further... beyond just exclusively gay people, we bisexuals are also here, we are plentiful, and we are absolutely wonderful. Not all of us, of course, are open to dating gender diverse people - but many others are, and we're typically quite relaxed when it comes to label complications simply because they don't challenge how we're expected to be dating, which is often a source of distress for both exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual people when confronted with a relationship that isn't quite what the handbook said it would be.

Lastly, yes, you are choosing the hard path. That's just how things are, universally, for transitioned and transitioning people, and for lesbians, and for anybody else who is not the norm in our society. There are fewer of us, we are less understood, and we have fewer people whose attraction will naturally match with us either because it isn't how they're wired or because they've never brushed up with the idea beyond a hypotethical concept. However, this doesn't mean you're doomed by any means. Just using myself as an example: I'm truly a mess when it comes to gender, both trans and not trans at the same time and which label applies to me more depends entirely on the subject and the alignment of the stars, and though it's taken its sweet time coming, I've now been in a relationship with a wonderful nonbinary/gender diverse partner for well over a year. While they may not always understand the fine details of how my identity works, that can't really be expected of anybody, even somebody using the same label as I hypotethically might. I don't understand how theirs does all of the time, either - I'd say more than they don't get mine, as my struggles are largely of the transsexual variety, more about the body than expression, and theirs are more of the gender variety, where their identity and inner perception of self reign superior to the matters of the meat. But we don't have to be fully up to date on any of that: what we have in common is much more relevant to our everyday life than the fine details of the things we don't, and at the end of the day, what we have is a gay relationship, which - while it comes with its own struggles and difficulties - still allows for an amazing variety of self-expression in gender and identity both, even within this simple overarching label and state of existing in the world.

Whatever you choose, you'll find people you match up with, and in the end, it's better to be happy with yourself than unhappy with somebody else.

#mod sade #ask #gender identity #gender expression #wlw #lgbt

[transgenderer]

Maybe they meant “ in a post-gender( the social construct)-abolition world, would you still want to modify your body the way you have via hormones/bottom surgery”?

yeah i mean, i guess, i still think the question is kind of meaningless?

okay so theres two possibilities. if the question is "what would i do if i group in such a society?" i guess my answer is "i dont know, that person grew up in an alien environment from me that describing us as the same person is meaningless". and then the other possibility is i get teleported to such a society, i guess? but im not sure how much "a post-gender-abolition society" has like, a referent that is comprehensible to me. i can imagine a comprehensible-to-me society that has no large-scale gendered prejudice, or one where people still have a lot of gendered prejudice but it doesnt lead to large scale inequality, or whatever, but i think as long as we're like, humans living in normal human bodies gender is kind of inevitable?

im gonna talk more but first i wanna recommend the unraveling by benjamin rosenbaum, which is set in a super far future extremely alien world that doesnt have gender as we consider it today but has a strange orthogonal system. its really good. oh also, too like the lightning set in a world of semisuccessful (mostly not) gender abolition

anyway. lemme try to worldbuild for a moment. its easy to come up with transhumanist post-gender societies, but lets try to see if we can come up with a nontranshumanist post-gender society. so its still normal biohumans, same rough division into two categories with different physical and possibly mental features, different hormone balances, etc. what would be the requirements for a society to count as post-gender-abolition? people wouldnt have the belief that your hormone distribution affects your behavior, i guess? but like, it does, empirically. *statistically*, increasing someones testosterone makes them more aggressive, for example. i guess no...prejudice derived from this? that seems plausible. the consideration of it as something real but not significant, like height or whatever. no dependence of clothing styles on hormone balance, etc. but of course there are physical differences to consider. and sexuality! im not sure how mutable human sexuality is about this. i think probably in most societies most people are primarily heterosexual? or at least, experience attraction to men and women differently. but maybe not? maybe you could degender attraction. im not sure.

anyway i think ive made my point? i can imagine a much much less gendered version of our society, but a genderless one seems totally alien and possibly impossible given current human biology

[katiesfriendzone]

tw: pedophilia; however please read b/c you all deserve my honesty.

I am extremely apprehensive about writing this and understand if you all can't be my friend anymore. I just cannot take the feeling of lying by omission to you all anymore.

I am friends with self-identified non-offending female pedophiles and it's because the big problem I allude to on my blog was thinking I am one.

In 2020, I was coming to terms with the fact that my beliefs were not very consistent, and the situation with Emmett made me realize I didn't really have business calling myself a feminist. this led to a period of intense questioning of many things I believed to be an established part of myself.

This period of questioning lead to an intense period of what would probably be labeled POCD. I still struggle to understand the difference between a closeted sexual orientation and an intrusive thought, as closeted gay people also experience their attraction as "unwanted thoughts"; thoughts being unwanted doesn't mean they don't reflect something real because they could be unwanted for so many reasons.

The idea that it was my sexual orientation made sense. After all, if being a lesbian or a gay man can also be characterized by aspects of personality not necessarily related to sex, like a gay man reminiscing of playing with girls instead of other boys at recess or a lesbian reminiscing on her days on the softball team, surely my form of gender nonconformity, which doesn't embody rugged masculinity or feminine polish but childish lack of both adult femininity and masculinity, could be part of my orientation. It would explain why I felt asexual towards men and towards women.

I like kids. That is obvious. I can't peek into anyone else's head who likes kids in a Normal way and see if their feelings for children are different from mine. I think children are, physically, cuter and nicer to look at than adults. I don't feel anything about their genitalia but as we know I actively dislike both vulvas and penises so that's kind of a moot point. I've never watched CP, but I've also never really watched adult porn. A mutual of mine who's since blocked me, maybe bc she was canny enough to clock this or maybe just bc im annoying, wrote a great post about queer refusal, and how queerness is often implicitly defined about being about being more and more open sexually, whereas for lesbians, often the most non-conforming thing about them is their LACK of attraction to/refusal of men. I think women who aren't attracted to men and lack the capacity to be attracted to men for whatever reason are queer, oppressed, etc. full stop.

I understand why, hearing this news, your concern and compassion would not be for me, but for children. I understand, with child sexual abuse being so rampant and CSA:pedophilia being synonymous in people's minds, that it could seem insane that someone who is hypothetically doing all this damage could be the one who is sad. I would like to make a big ask right now and ask you to consider queerness through the above lense and see why someone who is not attracted to men or to women might relate to or find solace in gay, lesbian, queer sentiments and struggles.

again, I can't peek into anyones head. I feel less repulsed by vulvae and penises than I did at the height of all this, and there are certainly adults who I like to look at (hi Dev Patel), and when I feel even the slightest glimmer of attraction to an adult, I indulge in it (hi, obsessive Dev Patel posting) to the most extreme degree I can. However, if you were to replace "man" with "adult" in the Lesbian Masterdoc, then well, you can see it from space.

The communities I've found have been very male centric. Even the resources that exist think of women like me as, and this is a direct quote from a clinics website, "irrelevantly rare". Women in these spaces are basically forced to rub elbows with misogynistic, antifeminist men because feminists have made it clear we aren't welcome.

I am a question mark. I'm always open to one day feeling the right way. But my best friend, who I met through one of these communities, has known this about herself since puberty. The idea that pedos just can't get someone their own age is especially painful for her experience, because like all women, she deals with sexual harassment and unwanted attention from men. She's my friend and I refuse to abandon her, even if it turns out I'm not the same as her. I would actually rather die than betray my friends when they are suffering.

Since this all began, I have seen countless testimonies from female exclusive pedophiles (meaning ones like my friend who feel nothing for adults and in my opinion fit the model of queer refusal of men I discuss above) and I would characterize them with despair, desperation, depression, alienation, rage, and a belief in ones inherent inferiority. I simply refuse to cosign these beliefs in other women based on thoughts and feelings they cannot help.

I'm not sure where this leaves me and you guys. I accept whatever happens to me as a result of posting this. I will add the following disclaimers: in addition to all of this I do also have maternal/auntlike instincts, and my feelings about my own niece or the kids of friends on here are purely aunt feelings. When I first confessed all of this to Ted his response was initialy that my feelings for children were normal, and that i just lacked attraction to adults, but the thing is most people seem to think that asexuality isn't a real orientation, so I'm not sure what that would make my orientation. But again: i simply refuse to betray my best friend.

I wonder what the price of honesty will be...but in my opinion, the truth is priceless. I do not know what you are all going to do to me after this post, but whatever you do is up to you. It's 100% your choice. I'm sorry for lying to you all by omission the past few years, and you don't have to accept my apology. I don't know what I'd do in your position. But I don't really know what I'd do in my position either, I guess this.

[freebooter4ever]

Hey thanks I thought I was the only one who didn’t like the joke. Everyone laughed yuck

Ahhhhh yeah :/ i thought the joke was definitely funny, but with that harsh twinge of sadness at just how normalized and accepted this sort of sexism STILL is.

' i was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, i get older but your lovers stay my age '

And its not necessarily a damnation of the man himself - obviously rami is a favorite of mine but i dont think hes ever dated anyone over 30 and is veering towards jake and leo disease too, and i still think rami is one of the most brilliant character narrative builders in the business currently - but its a damnation of a culture that treats romantic partners not as equals but as disposable play things with an expiration date. Look, i got flirted with by much older guys in pittsburgh all the time - usually it was cute, they were friendly, very complimentary and flattering about it, and they never treated it seriously or asked me out. Then i came to LA and the difference was night and day. Older (rich) men here feel entitled to younger women in a way that is frankly scary - at one point in a bar when a guy in his 60s was hitting on me my muscular male friend had to physically step between us and scare the guy off to get him to go away.

And it doesn't help that im sort of in the 'one of the guys' category, so i've heard the way these super rich dudes talk about the models they date behind their back while hanging with 'the guys', and, ugh, its not nice. I will say one thing for sports dudes - i imagine guys like ja*gr have way more respect for young women who are passionate about health and fitness than computer science executives.

But there's negatives in the sports world too - yall know how much i adore taylor. But even i recognize that she's not 'sports bro hot' - she doesn't have silicone, her make up is understated, she doesn't have that social media defined 'hotness' that sports fan dudes expect their sports heroes to date. So while i was naively scrolling insta looking for cute snapshots of taylor and travis being all lovey dovey at the end of the game, a good half the comments were men complaining about her. Saying they cant understand why travis is dating someone so old, that she will never be able to give him kids, that she's already showing her age (both of them are 34 btw). So far travis seems to ignore these types of comments but it would be hard to judge him for giving into peer pressure because this stuff is just so prevelant and exhausting.

And it does effect us older women - while i was dating Pilot Boy i was absolutely hyper aware of the fact that here is this rich, handsome, successful, and extremely smart guy dating beneath him. Like we bonded over being literally the same age - we had mutual friends in college without even knowing it. But i was always questioning like what does this guy see in me - why isn't he dating a gorgeous 25 year old whose only goal in life is to live on the beach with him??? Like he was honestly more the type of dude i would be friends with while he dates hotter women, lol. So i really was not surprised when he ended things (i was mostly sad that we couldnt stay friends and continue geeking out on airplanes and history together LOL), it just felt like it made sense, of course he wouldn't be serious about me, a guy like him should be dating a fresh, youthful, less bitter and cynical 25 yr old blonde. Six years in LA and this is just the pattern i see repeating itself over and over.

And im the romantic - when i fall in love its ALL in. Usually it's personality, usually its intellectual - that comfort in finding someone who just understands how you think. I love being so close to someone that you know them better than yourself, that you can communicate wordlessly. Shared humor, shared experience. As i age im learning that i actually dont pay much attention to the signs of aging when it comes to attraction - who notices wrinkles when what you're in love with is that look in their eye when they smile at you? The mental connection between romantic partners is the most important for me in my book. For me this typically means someone within the ten year range plus or minus - though i prefer it even within a five year age gap.

#But i also really feel for the women because when i was 22 i got myself into a relationship with a man a decade older #Who only valued me for my youth and tight skin #And even back then no matter how much in love i was (and i have since deleted all the posts but even after he dumped me i was still #coming on this blog sighing about how much i loved and missed him) #The feeling of being only valued for your youth was still skeevy to me #In the back of my mind i knew that this was a trait i was eventually going to lose because everyone ages #And i was not confident enough to think i would ever have any value beyond Young #And thats not to say there are not relationships with age gaps that are healthy - there totally are look at ally and justin they ARE love #Its just a very specific type of relationship where the older partner keeps dating younger and younger and only values youth #that creeps me out #And in our culture that narrative usually is an older man with a younger woman and i tend to side with the woman #THE GOOD NEWS is if you notice in the clips and gifs it looks like the younger guys on the pens are laughing a lot less than the old guard #i think the newer generation - the dudes in their 20s are starting to realize how shallow all this is and that things are changing #and that the generation of women after me will deal with a lot less pressure #At least i hope!!! #Jrnlsht #Sorry this got long

[sexisdisgusting]

Heyy i like your blog and you seem cool ^~^

I wanted to hear more about your ideas behind dating/sex. You say its disgusting to live in an over sexualized society etc which I agree with. Ive over sexualized myself as a child and into young adulthood and now im trying to stop it or slow it down at least, but I cant get over the fact that yes i would very much like to have a girlfriend and have sex with her. (Im female) I would like to hear more on what you think in regard to “i think it is disgusting to talk to someone with the intention of having sex with them”(i know its not your exact quote I just cant see it while sending this)

What would be the way that people find sexual partners in a non-hyper-sexualized society? Is there a way to do that in this society? Is there a way to naturally find a sexual partner?

Ive basically been just trying to ignore it all for about a year now. Ive sworn off men forever (im bi) and i dont find the idea of sex with a man appealing anymore due to stuff but idk I feel predatory anytime I try to think of a way to find a girlfriend. Dating apps seems skeezy. Hitting on any of my attractive already made friends feels skeezy. Going out into the world in an attempt to make friends with the real intention of finding a gf seems skeezy. Accepting that I will probably be sexless and gf-less for years if not forever if I do not attempt to find someone sounds sad but accepting that if I attempt to find a gf as quickly as possible then I will be looking for an idea and not enjoying a new friend makes me feel sick.

Idk. Its just something ive been thinking about lately and I do believe that it all comes back to society being so hypersexual.

hiya!!! thank you so much for the ask

that predatory feeling youre talking about i think is you overthinking it! many lesbians i know have that same feeling, and i think it comes from societal repression of same sex attracted women, we feel ashamed to make our attraction known

truly what im trying to convey is a disgust for people seeking others SOLELY to fuck, its not 'sinful' or anything, i just think personally its a shallow way of living

when it comes to meeting potential partners i truly feel like its better to go from friends to lovers so that true romance has a chance to grow

but truth be told, i dont think your hearts in the wrong place anonita, from what ive heard you seem genuine, and i really do wish you the best of luck

you deserve love, romance, sex, and to be adored by someone

sorry if my answer isnt all that cohesive, im a bit tired right now but i hope it helped out a bit! feel free to message me if you have anymore questions :)

#asks #anon asks

[jyndor]

As much as I like cassian/rue as a concept and I really love the friendly exes idea, looking at the comparisons between the RO and Andor beach hugs like... desperately clinging to each other as close as bodies can possibly get vs that half-handshake pat-on-the-back? And like I know part of that is likely the disney toxic-masculinity-no-homo brand, but it just makes me so sad, like is this really the level of affection Cassian gets from this point on in his life? Obligatory, unthinking gestures? (until he meets Jyn and they survive and have lots of time to cuddle, obviously, but some folks don't know about that part lol)

in all seriousness I don't actually think rue and cass were ever ever ever considered by the writers to be anything more than friends, they can prove me wrong I'd be down with that but I think we should be clear when talking about this sort of thing that there are like shoulds and ares. should the writers queer up cass? fuck yes. are they going to? lol no.

is that just disney censorship? honestly I doubt it. I think society at large has a much harder time dealing with bisexuality/queerness that isn't binary than it does sexuality that is binary. it comes out differently for women and femmes than it does for men and mascs (let alone people who don't subscribe to any of those genders).

for women and femmes bisexuality and frankly same-gender attraction isn't seen as threatening patriarchy tbh. it's why we get literal gal pal shit from people when it's like, these are two wlw who have been together for decades and have gotten married and are literally fucking in their bed that they own together in their home. it's also why I think society finds it somewhat easier to believe in~~ bisexuality/pansexuality/mspec queer wlw than mlm, although lbr it's still about how the white supremacist patriarchal hegemonic ideal man can access bi wlw and therefore devaluing the wlw-ness of our wlwocity.

whereas mlm are seen as a threat to that patriarchal hegemony, the ideal man or some bullshit, because shock of shocks patriarchy impacts men and mascs negatively as fuck too. men are expected to be hyper ~masculine or whatever the fuck, access women without difficulty while also maintaining stoicism and defeating the (i cannot believe i am saying this mostly unironically) feminine urge to feel thing, to seem gay because that's feminine or whatever lol.

and so bi and mlm who are attracted to more than one gender challenge the very ideal that white supremacist patriarchy is all about. it's why so many women think bi men are automatically gay and just lying about it (well that and individual histories people have with being with men who have been closeted and cheated on them, but that's like not bisexuality that's infidelity).

so the idea that you've got a character who has an extremely important romantic relationship at the end of his life in something written years ago, I'd be shocked if the writers even considered giving cassian a boyfriend just because cassian is attracted to jyn in the film. I'm also sure cassian being a man and the lead means disney might be less cool with him being explicitly queer than say with the wlw side characters, but if we take tony gilroy's word for it, there was never any pushback on them.

as far as cassian not having any real connection until jyn, I'm not sure I agree. his connection with rue (lets make the nickname happen, ive been trying so im happy to see you using it anon) might be platonic but it's canonically important as hell - they are able to read each other well, cassian hears rue in ways melshi isn't used to, and frankly rue picks up on cassian's change in mood even if he doesn't push cass to share with him because cassian isn't ready to share.

it isn't unthinking to me. but like melshi says, they have to spread the message. the rebellion comes first.

I wouldn't be so sure that cassian doesn't have connections with characters, fuck lol kaytoo is coming next season and thats his best friend. but undoubtedly he will become more isolated as he builds a network of recruits and informants who don't know him intimately. and I don't mean sex, I mean deep knowledge of who he is.

but his relationship with jyn has always been fundamental to cassian realizing he doesn't want to go with business as usual, that he doesn't want to assassinate galen (a hope that the rebellion needs to strike against the empire) and that he can fight in the daylight instead of just in the shadows.

but it is tragic that he is so known by so few, and that when he finds someone who he understands and who understands him so well, he fucking gets vaporized lol.

lmao the death star is biphobic for killing him and jyn and making me cry every time I watch rogue one

#anonymous #asks #answered #cassian andor #ruescott melshi #star wars andor #rogue one #star wars #jyn erso #rebelcaptain #meta #lgbtqia+ #headcanon versus canon canon always relevant

[electrificata]

having music critic thots abt the weeknd im so so sorry

i saw the weeknd in concert last summer, it was amazing. i really dont like stadium shows usually, but his was killer, he had a cool stage concept (gently mad max-ish cult leader and his dancer-disciples, giant inflatable moon) and he's got the presence to fill up all that space. and ive been listening to him for almost a decade, obviously the music's there. actually the show i was at was where he debuted the trailer for the idol. its out now and i havent watched yet. i thought it looked cool then, but after everything ive heard.....im just really ambivalent.

in the early days, when he was keeping mysterious, no press, no photos, you didnt even know if the weeknd was a band or a guy. just this chilly, atmospheric, sleazy/sexy horror-movie r&b. nothing supernatural. but cruel. the lyrics were all about the worst kind of fuckboy shit, and obviously drugs, and the music really seemed to give proper weight to it. the speaker in the songs was awful, the music was telling you that his actions were violent and terrifying for the women he's hurting and for toxic for himself. if youre a person attracted to men, you know what its like to see how awful a guy can be and still be into him, maybe even BECAUSE of how awful he is. thats a fucking horror movie. those first xo eps are crazy, i still listen to them.

then he goes pop star. i remember the collab w/ ariana grande in 2014 was surprising but it found a perfect, plausible midpoint between their two universes. then he goes full max martin in 2015 with "can't feel my face" and again, bizarre to see this plausible way for the prince of darkness to get to the top 40 via a neo-michael jackson jam with a veiled drug reference as opposed to multiple explicit ones. but it made sense! he danced onstage now! i remember hearing it on the radio when i was picking my cousins up from middle school, that felt surreal.

and he just kept on doing the popstar thing. i dont think the sleaze ever really left, it just receded into the background. killer atmosphere, more pop hooks, a general darkness that felt credible coming from him because of the early stuff, its just lit with neon now. he gets increasingly more conceptual, which i love. i love a concept album. its still about fucked up relationships and now death more generally instead of drugs specifically. cool, great. i've been with him the entire time. that brings us up more-or-less to the present.

im not gonna recap all the shit around the idol, if you want it im sure theres an article or youtube video thatll do a better job than i can. ill just summarize my own thoughts: it feels like the sleaze is back, maybe some of the horror, but also Glamour. johnny depp's supermodel daughter has cum on her face. we're seeing headlines about how gross the sex scenes are. look how Glamorous this is. classic showbiz trick of using a cautionary tale about gross men preying on women to just....create images and narratives about gross men preying on women. this might be the place i cant follow him. i cant rule out watching it, i am a habitual hater and i might be in the mood to hate soon. but its making me think about the way we use glamour and beauty in entertainment. it cant be a default, it has an effect on the story.

#the weeknd #i used to have a tag for this shit cant remember what it is #armchair music critic #'i feel it coming' was absolutely crazy live. i can remember it in minute detail

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

i keep finding myself struggling wiht my bisexuality, feeling scared or even disgusted. and i just wanted to say somewhere that: no matter what, its okay. if i have a lean towards men? thats okay, im still queer. I still like women. i dont need to be in a relationship with a woman to be queer. i dont need to be attracted to women all the time. just because (or if) i have a lean towards men as a woman doesnt mean being bi still isnt hard or scary. it isnt bad to want relationships with men. being bi is good.

with all that out of the way... is it bad if i like... struggle with the idea of ending up with a woman? like being married and stuff. its all so weird and scary at the same time, because i know i can feel attraction to women. im not confused about whether or not im bi. but i have these weird feelings and all this hesitance about going into relationships with women and whether or not ill really be able to be with a woman one day forever, and stuff about like wanting a family someday and to be married at some point but my view on marriage is also so conflicting because my view of marriage seems so hetero-centric but its also something that i genuinely want. even the idea of just being in a relationship with a girl seems scary. all of it... just makes me feel nauseous and scared. i know some of these problems are just related to internalized homophobia/biphobia, but i also know that some of these might be genuine desires and that makes it hard to draw the lines between them without unintentionally restricting myself. the idea of not ever being with a woman feels horrifiying but also comforting at the same time because i know how hard it is. i wish there were as many people insisting bi women can end up with other women as there were ones who're saying we're just gonna end up with men.

Sorry that this has been sitting in the inbox for so long. I had Covid and am still a bit under the weather, didn't feel like I had enough brain capacity to reply properly.

Your quesiton is whether it's "bad" to struggle with the idea of "ending up with a woman". First of all... yes? In the sense that it means you're not fully comfortable with your bisexuality and it sounds to me like a classic aspect of internalised biphobia. But it's not "bad" in the sense that it makes you “less bisexual". In fact it's (unfortunately) somethign that a lot of bisexual people go through. You said it yourself: having a preference doesn't make you any less queer/bi. But because of societal prejudices and internalised biphobia many bi people are scared of making same-gender experiences. That's understandable and of course might also be a safety issue.

However, I would recommend working towards more self-acceptance so that you can actually enjoy your sexuality fully. And that doesn't mean you have to have sex or relationships with different genders, but just that you are able to feel attraction free of any shame and insecurity about what is or isn't "the right way to be bi".

And lastly, this might just be a personal pet peeve, but I think if we'd stop looking at our love life as "ending up with x" that'd be helpful. To me this always sounds like hitting a dead end. But even if you enter a long-term monogamous relationship that doesn't mean your sexuality ends. You still continue to have eyes for other human beings and you have fantasies. Your desires don't end just because you have a partner. Maybe try to think of a partner (whatever their gender) as one aspect/part of your sexual and romantic journey instead of the end point of it.

Maddie

[cruciferous-spatula]

This is the woods hut, where newlyweds Arvi and Imole Nubbe live.

And this is them.

The altered chemistry means that Inti and Arvi are now more attracted to each other than Arvi is to his wife, but Imole is not the jealous type.

Arvi may well have been a bit upset with Im about this though. In their youth Tapu and Im were all over each other, but he's no longer interested.

Imole is on good terms with most of her neighbors

but some are just plain infuriating. Like Indartsu here, who decided to put the moves on Mrs. Tuatahi right in front of his wife's siblings! How thoughtless can you be?

One evening, Imole finds that she's carrying a lil bit more than usual

So naturally, we party

Arvi has ditched the rad hat somewhere along the way. The neighbors don't seem to like him any less for it.

The following day passes more quietly. Spot basks in the sun

and is doted on by Imole.

The birth is fast approaching, and the expectant parents can't pretend they're not a little apprehensive... money is short.

Also with Imole only rolling wants to fool around with other men and Arvi being fooled around with by other women, the couple have a long talk. To onlookers it may look like they're nerding about animals, but actually they're discussing opening up their relationship.

Maybe it'll be confusing for the little one down the line, but it'll be okay.

part 2 coming soon.

#sims 2 #test of time challenge #moon islands #neanderthal stage #nubbe household #woods hut #round 11 #arvi nubbe #imole nubbe #spot the dog #inti bigarrena #tapu tuatahi #entzule bigarrena #waiata keta #didan keta #balin the cat #indartsu lehenik #mayu tuatahi #luma tuawha #para tuatahi #puawai tuarua #ausarta vuosttamus