Leviathan
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Mortal Kombat 1 Behind the Scenes AU: Scenography (1)
[Cage’s Mansion] [Waiting for Liu Kang] [Special Bonus] [Grandmaster’s commentary] [Climbing scene] [Madam Bo’s Inn] [Cage’s Mansion 2 (fire extinguisher)] [Medic] [Shang Tsung’s sad face] [Smoke's Fall]
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance
Link Attack - Lucky Dice
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i don't wanna see another fucking complaint about the missing knife from the throne room or the stuntman waiting for his cue ever again after that piss poor choreography in the ahsoka finale
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what do you mean we didn’t get a childhood ark??? clearly remember this
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honestly this isn't like, to say herbert is super niceys in canon BUT. i feel like if he actually succeeded in bombing the player, rookie, gary (and likely dot as well- i dont remember if the original epf command room was destroyed when the psa hq was) he'd probably not feel 100% happy about it. murder is in fact, a big deal! and while i'm not saying he'd instantly regret it i wouldnt be surprised if he'd feel SOME kind of way if he did succeed, even if he was mostly like "YAAAAY THOSE ANNOYING BIRDS ARE FINALLY DEAD". like yknow, even if i write my herbert to be Meaner and Nastier post blackout its not like i see even my herbert and especially not canons as someone who is Only Evil All The Time, i genuinely think this man would be at least slightly conflicted once the whole 'i actually succeeded in killing them' thing kicked in. and while he was obviously thrilled to bits about taking over the island and freezing the epf's leads, freezing them isn't exactly the same as killing them since as we know, even though it can have negative effects like gary saying he'd been having medical issues after being dethawed it's not permanent like being Killed-
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Sitting on this wooden palette thingy after Jo Hamburg seems very fitting :D
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STOP RETCONNING. STOP IT. CEASE. I BEG. big confused screaming rant in tags
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was supposed to do the cursed "Baltic Princess to New Year's eve concert" combo, but instead i'm sitting on my in-laws' couch, hopped up on painkillers watching the concert on tv so.
despite the fact that i'm overall a very emotionally constipated individual, the year is changing so i can make one (1) sappy-ish post
2023 has been a shitshow, mostly. on many levels, not a year i would like to relive.
but the Käärijä part is something i would relive in a heartbeat if i got the chance. So many concerts bringing little sparks of light to a lousy existence. finding the joy in writing again after a long while. some unforgettable moments with the dude himself and the crew.
and most of all the people. have found some gems into my life through this fandom and i am just. very grateful.
so thankyou for all the love for my fics and thankyou for making this shit year a bit more bearable. see ya in the new year
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thoughts on transparent and trifle
Transparent:
It's probably clear from the fic, but there's a lot of things that Furina does not notice due to her self-loathing. The reason why she doesn't notice reader's feelings for her is because she can't fathom why anyone would ever like her. However, to everyone else, reader's feelings are quite clear from the way they treat her.
At one point, I actually did want to spell out reader's adoration for her. For example, the way they can't tear their eyes away whenever she's on stage. The warmth in their eyes whenever she shows her more hesitant side. The way they stand in front of her to hide her view of those that don't like her. But the more I tried writing that, the more I realized I couldn't see Furina leading someone on like that. If she did notice, she'd probably avoid them. So I went with the idea she didnt notice at all instead.
Trifle:
I hope nobody reads this fic and paints Cyno out to be the bad guy. What I was trying to make reader do was for them to describe Cyno as base Cyno. Aka, normal Cyno. Aka, nothing out of the ordinary Cyno. I tried to write it specifically so that, when reading what Cyno did, it wouldn't ring any bells. The way Cyno treated reader is the same way he'd treat anyone else under his tutelage.
Reader says it themselves. Their fault is they fall in love too easily. And they do. Cyno treated them normally and they took it to mean something special. Their hubris was definitely hubris. They looked to deeply into something they shouldn't have.
However what I didn't mention in this is that.... Honestly I don't think Cyno is the type that'd realize he's leading someone on. And I don't think he's the type that'd realize someone is into him. What this lead to in the cabin of the fic is him acting awkwardly around reader after. He'd become too self-aware. But he'd also become aware of reader as well. And somewhere along the way, he'd probably end up falling in love haha
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the snow queen – batman tales: once upon a crime
[ID: Victor Fries (aka Mister Freeze) trapped in ice. His head is light blue and is enclosed in a jagged glass helmet. Red goggles hide his eyes as The Snow Queen delicately kisses his temple. In the next two panels, Victor's skin is no longer discoloured and his goggles are off. He melancholically talks to Batman, his icy comatose broken by her kiss.
Batman asks him why did he come here and Victor replies, “This place holds special meaning. It's where she first skated. It's where we first met. My Snow Queen... my Nora. I realize now, my memories of her have kept me frozen in time.” Batman wraps his arm around Victor to help support him as he guides him to safety. He sympathizes, “Sometimes it's not just bad memories that stop us from living, but good ones, too” END ID]
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overcoming anxiety (through practicing the things that scare you) is so interesting. i used to be horrified of taking up space or alerting other people of my presence. now i'm compelled to tell strangers i like their outfits or hair or earrings- on bad days i tell maybe a quarter of them. do i still overthink it? absolutely. but i call attention to myself to tell someone else my opinion. and with the way they tend to smile and tell me "thank you!" i'm pretty sure it's taken to heart.
i used to be horrified of making phone calls as well. this is one i'm still getting over- i just Don't Like Doing It. i used to have a phone call routine that i still joke about- realize i need to call someone, cry, avoid it for a few days, suck it up, write a script, memorize the script, cry again, final script read, make the call with the script in front of me. and i would be Exhausted by the end of it. i don't cry when i need to call people anymore. i'm even needing scripts less and less- i've found out that people actually won't kill me if i talk a little too fast or stumble on my words. i doubt i'll ever like making phone calls- i especially hate robots (i'm afraid they'll mishear me and direct me wrong or a person will suddenly show up and i won't be prepared)- but i can make them now.
i get overwhelmed really easy. just a thing that happens to me. my brain is really really good at taking one task and breaking it up into thousands of little tasks and it feels like i'm drowning. if i try to make it fewer larger tasks then it starts to feel insurmountable. i was completely lost on how to deal with this (other than avoid until you get that panic attack and can do work in the post-catharsis calm until 6:00 AM) until one night when my dad (who i often meet late at night due to overlapping mental illness symptoms) asked me how to eat an elephant. i looked at him, confused, and he said "one bite at a time." that was way more effective than any other analogy i've seen has been. "light at the end of a tunnel"- i don't feel like i'm moving forward, i feel like i'm scaling a wall. "steps on a trail"- i can see my destination, but it feels impossible to move forward. but eating an elephant? that sums it up perfectly. this huge task which seems impossible at a glance. but it must be done. so you eat the elephant, a bite at a time. every time i'm overwhelmed i repeat that phrase to myself. it hasn't made any major changes yet, but it keeps me calm enough to start before i hit the panic attack, which i'll take.
i was such a perfectionist growing up- i actually thought it was a good thing (school always taught me to strive for perfection). but it made me scared to try new things- if i wasn't immediately good at them, then it clearly wasn't for me. i'm still not great at starting new hobbies, but i try a lot of new things within the hobbies i already have. i test out different ways of making art, i try new puzzle games i don't understand, etc. and the feeling of steady improvement reminds me that i don't need to be good right away. some of the most satisfying moments don't come from immediately being good- they come from achieving that skill over time. i'd like to try to learn to sew soon.
idk it's interesting. i rewire my own brain's fear response by doing the Horrifying Thing enough times for me to understand that no i will not die. and while i'm doing it it feels like nothing is changing. i get so stressed every time- it can actually take a lot out of me (turns out fight-or-flight burns a lot of energy). but i look back at then vs. now and i realize how far i've come, and i can't help but think "huh. neat"
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IT'S.
SNOWING.
(  ̄- ̄)
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lately ive been thinking more on the differences of ghost before robas and ghost after robas and, like, how mace wouldnt know any of this took place and he wouldn't actually know any of the changes ghost's personality has until he sees them. bc in my hc they dated before that, mace left for africa before that, and he was never told any of that (its entirely possible if they write more of his backstory this could change tbh esp if they do that ghost spinoff they keep talking about.). so like. even the 24/7 mask wearing would be like... So Weird to mace hed be like "thats new?" and ghost is like. Mhm. bc well hes not going to talk about it. hed be more willing to show mace his face bc theres less worry about like how hed react. because mace has already Seen him and nothing has like. changed. which would be a relief to mace only bc seeing physical evidence of torture ghost went through would be upsetting to him. and ghost would never, ever explain the mental process of "because of whats happened to me i am a walking, talking ghost of who i was" hed be ashamed of it/wouldnt want to tell mace this bc he would challenge this? he would challenge a lot of what ghost says bc hes coping through pushing it all to the side basically and acting like hes "bigger" than his trauma. mace would fully understand Why hes doing this and how it helps him go about his day to day though. a lot of it he wouldnt bother trying to change bc he can tell ghost is at least comfortable in his "new skin." and i think ghosts anger Would be different though the old him would lash out at times bc his fear of relationships is from Before robas its from his dad/his parents relationship. but in a lot of ways hes "more chill" bc his rage is simmering background noise.
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Aside from that short story where they tried to make her a villain, I’m really surprised that DC never did anything with Nora/Mrs. Freeze character.
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havin a week/few days where i think: i deserve a fucking nobel peace prize and a congressional medal of honor for not being the biggest bitch in the whole wide world to everyone right now
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