#softly reading february 2022

[f1goat]

his masseur x lando norris

In which you're Lando his best friend and masseur, but your feelings start to cause a bit of trouble.

Requested: yes Warnings: small mentions of sexual content / not proof read

Tuesday - August 2022

“Maybe you can sleep in my bed this time?” Lando asks you. 

You look up surprised. This is new.

“What’s wrong with the guest room?” You ask still surprised.

“Nothing!” Lando quickly exclaims, “but I’m tired but I also don’t want to stop cuddling like this. So I thought we could sleep together.. Maybe?” 

You notice that Lando is rambling now. You smile at him. “That sounds great,” you say with a genuine smile.

Lando leaves his earlier position to get of the couch. You think about what’s happening. Maybe it’s weird for friends to cuddle as much as you and Lando do. Maybe it’s even weirder that you’re going to sleep in the same bed as him. But it’s not like you mind. You have been crushing on Lando forever, so every little thing you can have you take willingly.

Thursday - November 2022

“Happy birthday Lan!”

You kiss him on his cheeks. Lando pulls you even closer to him so the two of you can hug properly. After a bit you release yourself from his hug so you can give him his present. You hand him over the present you carefully wrapped with an orange wrapping paper. You watch how Lando unties the golden ribbons. 

His face lits up when he sees the present. You smile as well from his happy reaction. It’s safe to say he loves the new microphone you got him. It’s themed with everything he likes. The Quadrant logo and colors are covering the stand part, while the mic itself is a bit more McLaren themed. 

“I thought you could use a new one for your streams,” you tell him. 

“You’re amazing!” Lando exclaims enthusiastic. He pulls you closer to himself again. It doesn’t take more then a few seconds before he’s hugging you once again. 

“I love it,” he tells you softly, “You know me the best!”

Sunday - December 2022

“Finally a well deserved break,” Lando says. 

You nod. “You were amazing this season,” you tell him. 

Lando smiles gratefully. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” he tells you even more grateful. 

“Don’t say that,” you say quickly, “It was all you. I’m just massaging you.”

“I’m glad you’re on my team,” Lando says, “so I might have a tiny surprise to thank you for that.”

“A tiny surprise?” You ask.

“I booked us a hotel here, so we can spend a week together. We can do some fun things! Like exploring the city and go buggy riding in the desert.”

“That’s not a tiny surprise,” you tell him while laughing.

“Oops,” Lando just says.

“Are you thanking everyone on your team like that?” You ask.

“I send the rest a nice thank you card,” Lando replies.

You laugh.

Sunday morning - January 2023

“I can’t wait to spend the whole year with you again,” Lando softly says. The clock just stroke midnight. Lando is sitting next to you on the couch. You’re with friends, but everyone is busy with wishing each other a happy new year. Something you should do as well, but you’re enjoying your small private moment with Lando. 

“Me too Lan,” you say, “and a happy new year to you!”

“Happy new year!” Lando replies happily.

He comes closer to you. You want to press a kiss to his cheek, like you always do with friends while wishing them a happy new year. Lando seems to have the same idea. You don’t know how it happend, but in some way Lando his lips end up on yours.

“Oh fuck,” you say.

It didn’t even last two seconds, but it feels like an eternity. 

“Sorry!” Lando quickly says.

“It doesn’t matter Lan, nothing happened. I’m going to wish the others a happy new year as well.”

Lando watches you when you walk away. He sighs. “Yeah, nothing happened. Just my feelings for you,” he mutters annoyed. 

Thursday night - February 2023

“Thanks for picking me up,” you tell Lando.

“It’s nothing, how was the date?” Lando asks you.

You sigh. “Since I texted you a few hours earlier then we discussed I think you can conclude that it was bad.”

“I don’t get it. Why do you keep going on dates with types like this?” Lando asks you.

“I don’t know either,” you sigh. You think about who you really want. The guy next to you who’s currently driving you home in his McLaren. Lando is silent, he’s thinking about how it shouldn’t feel this way. Every time he picks you up he’s happy that your date didn’t go well. He can’t be like this. His jealousy is rising up way too much recently.

“I think I’m going to stop dating for a while,” you tell Lando after a bit of silence, “Maybe I’m not ready yet,” you add.

Lando can’t stop himself from smiling. It’s insane how relieved he feels suddenly.

Friday night - March 2023

“Would it be weird if we kissed?”

You look up at Lando. Does he even know what he’s asking you right now? It’s not like you can blame him right now. He’s drunk. But still, you let out a small sigh when you think about his question. Yes it would be weird, but you wouldn’t care about that. 

“I kinda want to kiss you,” Lando continues.

Butterflies are all over the place inside of you. You don’t have to check the rear mirror in Lando his car to find out your cheeks are red. You feel flustered. You try to focus on driving, but Lando is making it hard for you. For the second time that evening you remind yourself about Lando his condition. He’s drunk. Carlos and Max texted you before to warn you and when you picked up Lando you quickly noticed it as well. You can’t take his words serious right now, he’s drunk. 

“You’re drunk Lan,” you tell him after doubting for a bit, “but yes, it probably would be weird. We have been friends forever.” You don’t tell him that you don’t mind the weird aspect. You also don’t tell him about your feelings from the last years for him. 

“If you say so,” Lando sighs. 

You hope Lando doesn’t asks questions like this again. Or not like this. He can ask questions like this, but not when he’s drunk and his words are meaningless. 

Saturday morning - March 2023

“Fuck,” Lando grunts, “That was just what I needed.” 

You release a bit off the harsh pressure you used earlier. Slowly you massage further. Since you graduated last year, you’ve become Lando his personal masseuse. You’ve been lucky when McLaren hired you for it. Since then you join Lando and his - and your - team to every race. Meaning you can spend a lot of time with Lando. 

“I thought so,” you tell Lando smilingly.

Lando lets out a soft moan. Something that can give you weird butterflies sometimes, but now you’re getting used to it. It’s just because your massaging him. 

“You seemed pretty drunk last night,” you add.

“Oh god,” Lando grunts, “Please don’t remind me. I have no memories left. Sorry that you needed to pick me up like that.” 

You let out a soft disappointed sigh. You already expected this, but still. It would be nice if Lando remembered what he told you last night. It’s nothing new. Things like this happen way too often. 

“It doesn’t matter Lan, that’s what friends do,” you tell him to comfort him.

“Hm, friends yeah,” Lando sighs. 

“What do you mean?” You ask.

Lando doesn’t really respond anymore. You put a bit more pressure on his abs while massaging him. While you do so you think about multiple weird situations you had with Lando. 

“Maybe we can have a night in tonight? After qualifying,” Lando suggests after a bit. “We can watch some movies or something, whatever you like,” he adds.

“I kinda planned a selfcare night,” you tell Lando, “but maybe we can combine it?” 

“I’m in,” Lando tells you happily. 

“Great!”

Saturday - April 2023

“Y/n, it’s time for my massage.”

You look up surprised. Lando is standing in front of you and Pierre. What is he talking about? You just massaged him earlier. You’re free for the rest of the day. 

“Let’s talk further another time,” Pierre tells you.

You just met him. He seemed nice. Maybe you can finally find some other friends on the grid as well? 

“That sounds great,” you tell Pierre excited. 

You almost start to think that Lando lets out a scoff, but you’re probably wrong. You walk closer to Lando and he takes you with him to his drivers room.

“I already massaged you Lan, what was that about?” You ask him confused.

“I just got a bit of pain in my shoulder,” Lando mutters.

“Okay, can you pull of your shirt?”

When Lando feels your hands on his painless shoulders, he feels happy again. Maybe it was childish, but he didn’t see another way to get you away from Pierre and back to himself.

What’s going on with him?

Wednesday - May 2023

“I think I’m in love with y/n.”

“No shit,” Max sighs, “It took you forever to find out.”

Lando looks at his friend. Was he that transparant?

“So when will you tell her?” Max asks.

“Never!” Lando says quickly. He almost shouts. “What do you think that’ll happen? She doesn’t return my feelings, everything will become awkward and then I will lose her.”

“For fuck sake,” Max sighs, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Max, you have to keep this a secret,” Lando almost begs, “I can’t lose y/n.”

“You’re such an idiot.”

Saturday - June 2023

“Fuck, that feels amazing,” Lando moans.

You slowly apply more pressure to his body. Your hands roam around Lando his necks and shoulders carefully. When you come closer to his neck, Lando can’t withhold another soft moan. You start to feel the well known butterflies flatter around in your body.

Lando doesn’t stop. He keeps letting out soft sounds that show you exactly what you’re doing to him. After a bit you notice that you’ll get an even bigger reaction when you massage him on a specific spot close to his neck. You can’t help yourself and don’t stop touching him there. Can it be his sweet spot? You wonder what will happen when you let your lips touch his neck right on that spot. Fuck, you shouldn’t think like this.

“Can you lie down on your back Lan?” You ask a bit later.

Lando shuffles a bit, but he doesn’t move to lie down on his back. You wonder what’s going on. 

“Lan?” You ask.

“Give me a few minutes,” Lando tells you. 

“Is something wrong? You need to tell me if you feel uncomfortable or painful when I do something,” you say.

“No!” Lando quickly replies, “It’s far from wrong.”

You don’t get it at first, but then Lando lies down on his back. You notice the bulge that formed itself in his pants. Lando doesn’t look at you. Something that comes in quite handy right now, because you’re smile isn’t really professional anymore.

Sunday - July 2023

Lando his qualifying at Silverstone went amazing. He got the second place and that as his home race. This is amazing. Currently the two of you are laying on the couch. You’re feeling relaxed while spending time like this with Lando. 

“Maybe I can massage you a bit?” Lando suggests, “Reverse the roles  for once.”

“That seems nice.”

Lando helps you to find a comfortable position on his lap. His hands slowly find your shoulders. He’s quick to apply a bit of pressure on them. You let out a soft sigh of relaxation. It’s been way too long since someone massaged you. That’s the disadvantage of being a masseur, everyone always expects you to massage them and not the other way around. 

“How does this feel?” Lando asks you. 

It feels like his hands are touching you everywhere at once. You haven’t felt this relaxed in a long time. He’s slowly massaging your neck and you can’t stop yourself from letting out a soft moan. 

“Like you should do this more often,” you answer Lando jokingly.

You don’t tell him that you already feel yourself getting wet. Fuck. Why does he have to have such big, strong hands? That also feel insanely good on your body?

***

A few hours and a movie and some YouTube video’s later you’re still laying against Lando. The two of you are cuddled up on the couch in your hotel room. Lando plays with your hair while he focuses on the television in front of him. You can’t seem to focus anymore. Your mind keeps filling up with thoughts about Lando. 

“I’m glad you’re on my team,” Lando tells you suddenly, “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“You’re the one who’s racing this good,” you reply. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Lando says slowly, “but I couldn’t have done any of this without your support. It means the world to me that you’re always here.”

“There’s no place where I would be rather.”

“Promise me you’re in for a long time?” Lando asks you.

Without even thinking about it you stick out your pink. Lando is quick to wrap his own around yours.

“I promise Lan and if you join another team, I’ll do everything I can to join them as well.”

“I’m not going anywhere else if you can’t join me,” Lando says, “If they want me, they get you as well.”

You laugh. 

Sunday - July 2023

You haven’t seen Lando for a while now. The two of you are in some sort of night club with a lot of the other drivers. Earlier today Lando got his second place. His first podium of the season. He even drove a couple laps as race leader. Things were amazing. You haven’t been proud, excited and happy like this for a long time. It feels insanely good. That’s why the both of you wanted to celebrate. 

“Hi!”

You notice that Pierre Gasly is standing in front of you and just greeted you. 

“Hey,” you greet him back.

Pierre and you have know each other for a while now. You can say that you’re friends with each other, but not really close friends. During race weekends you’ll talk with each other, but that’s about it. Still, when you talk to each other it’s nice and comfortable. 

“In the mood to dance?” Pierre asks you. You’re quick to nod. Pierre gives you his hand and takes you with him towards the dance floor. 

When Lando searches for you, he’s surprised to find you on the dance floor. Until he sees with who you are. Fuck. He lets out an annoyed sigh. Why does Pierre always come close to you? Lando thinks about a way to get you away from Pierre, but he can’t figure out something right now.

“Congrats on the podium!” 

Without even realizing it, Lando is hugging with Yuki Tsunoda. He makes a bit of small talk with him, but Lando his eyes never leave you and Pierre. It annoys him that you’re still dancing with him. He needs to figure out a way to get you back to himself.

“Don’t you find them cute together?” Yuki asks him after a while.

Is Yuki talking about you and Pierre as well? Before Lando can say anything, Yuki continues talking.

“Pierre has been planning on taking her out for a while, maybe he’ll finally ask her now,” Yuki tells Lando. 

“He likes her?” Lando asks.

Yuki nods.

“Fuck, I knew it,” Lando mutters annoyed. 

Without a plan he walks towards you and Pierre. When he stands in front of you two, he’s quick to grab your arm. You are quick to look up. You’re surprised to see Lando in front of you. 

“We’re going back to the hotel,” Lando tells you quickly, not knowing any better excuse right now. 

“Why?” You ask surprised.

“I’m not feeling well,” Lando lies. 

He notices the way your facial expressions change. He starts to feel like a terrible person when he sees your concerned face. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask him. 

“I’ll explain in the car,” Lando answers with the lack of a better answer.

“Wait, y/n, before you go, can I ask you something?” Pierre asks you.

Lando his grip on your arm firms. He pulls you with him softly. You look at him, still concerned about his well being. “I really want to go,” Lando tells you. He knows what’s coming next, Pierre is going to ask you out. Fuck. He needs to get you away. 

“Maybe you can text me it?” You suggest to Pierre, “Lando isn’t feeling well, so we’re leaving now.”

“I’ll just ask you later,” Pierre sighs.

When you’re sitting in Lando his car, you notice that the boy is looking a lot better already. His weird facial expressions from earlier are gone, he almost seems relieved now? Maybe he was overwhelmed with all the attention and loud music? 

“What was wrong?” You ask Lando. 

“I uh,” Lando stutters a bit, “uh, I uh, I had a.. a uh, a headache. But it’s already getting better now.”

***

“Sooo,” you let out. You have been waiting for a moment to ask Lando something and maybe now is your chance? 

“So?”

“Why don’t you like Pierre?” You ask him. 

Since you and Pierre have gotten a bit closer, you have noticed Lando his strange behavior against Pierre. He always tries to get you away from him with excuses (?) about more massages. Or he joins your conversation and makes things awkward. What seems on purpose sometimes. 

“You always try to get me away from him,” you add while waiting for Lando his reaction. 

Lando sighs. Maybe he should just tell you everything. But he doesn’t. 

“There’s nothing wrong with Pierre,” Lando replies.

Wednesday - July 2023

“Want to lunch together?” Lando asks you. 

“I’m sorry Lan, Pierre asked me to get lunch together earlier today,” you reply a bit disappointed. If Lando only asked you earlier…

“Oh allright, then I’ll see you later. Right?” Lando asks disappointed.

“Yeah, after lunch I’ll be back,” you reply. 

“Okay, have fun.”

Friday - July 2023

“We’re still on for tonight, right?” Lando asks you. 

“What do you mean?” You ask surprised. 

“It’s Friday!” Lando exclaims loudly, “we always have your self care night on Friday.” 

“Oh fuck,” you whisper. You totally forgot. Or better said, you didn’t know Lando saw it as a weekly thing. “Pierre asked me out for dinner tonight, I’m so sorry Lan,” you explain, “but I can cancel?” 

“You don’t have to,” Lando sighs, “just have fun with Pierre.” 

***

Y/n: uh hi 

Y/n: can u pick me up?

Lando: where?

Y/n: *location*

Lando: where is that? Who lives there?

Y/n: Pierre

Lando: can’t he bring you home

Lando: you seem to be dating him

Lando: not me.

Y/N: please lan

Lando: Omw

***

“Thanks for picking me up,” you tell Lando when you step into his car. 

Lando is quick to notice your sad expression. He wonders what happened inside Pierre his house. When he sees a small tear rolling over your cheek, he knows for sure something happened.

“What’s wrong?” Lando asks you. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you sigh. 

“Babygirl,” Lando sighs, “What’s going on lately? We barely see each other and now I’m picking you up from Pierre’s while you’re all sad?” 

You let out a small sob. 

“I fucked things up,” you cry out. 

Lando increases his speed, he wants to get home as soon as possible so he can talk to you properly. He puts his free hand on your thigh and slowly draws some figures on it. When you use both of your hands to hold his, he can’t resist a small smile. 

When you’re inside Lando his home, you know Lando still wants answers. He deserves them as well. Together you sit down on his couch. You try to look at Lando, but you can only sob when you do. 

Pierre asked you to be his girlfriend tonight. You told him no. Of course you said no. You thought things between you two were just friendly. And there’s Lando. Maybe if Lando wasn’t here, you would have given Pierre a chance. But he���s here. He’s always on your mind. Even when you tried to forget about him, he’s always present in your thoughts. 

“What happened?” Lando asks you again. 

“I uh,” you stutter, “Pierre uh.. He, he asked me to be his uh.. his girlfriend.” 

“Then why are you crying? Isn’t that what you wanted?” Lando asks confused. His body is heating up. He can’t handle it if you’re officially Pierre’s. 

“I said no,” you state. This time the words come out a bit calmer. 

“Didn’t he accept that?” Lando questions.

You just nod your head this time. When you think back about Pierre his reaction, you shiver. 

“Want to talk about it?” Lando asks you.

“Later,” you suggest. 

Lando opens his arms for you. It doesn’t take you long before you find your comfortable spot back. You lean on his chest. You’ve missed this. 

“I’ve missed you,” you sob.

“I never left,” Lando states, “I just gave you some space with Pierre.” 

“I don’t want space,” you sigh. 

“What do you want?” Lando asks you confused, “I thought you wanted to date Pierre, so it seemed logical to give you a bit of space while figuring things out with him.”

You don’t think about your answer.

“I want you,” you state. 

When the words leave your mouth, you realize the impact of them. Fuck. What did you just do? This is going to be the moment that you’ll lose Lando. You already feel him straighten up, sitting more straight then before. Slowly you seat yourself different as well. Lando looks in your eyes and you can’t look away. 

“That’s a dangerous thing to say,” Lando replies.

“I can’t unsay it I guess,” you sigh, “This is just great. I fucked up something even more important now.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Lando comforts you, “but you need to explain what happened and what you mean.” 

You sigh again. 

“I told Pierre I didn’t want to date him, I thought our ‘dates’ were friendly. Then he got mad. He started to talk about all the money he spend on me,” you explain slowly, “I told him I could pay him back, but that wasn’t what he wanted. I don’t know what happened, but I do know I lost a friend.” 

“And then I started thinking about you. How I blew you off multiple times because Pierre asked me to do something, I was afraid that I lost you as well.” 

“Pierre’s a dick,” Lando scoffs, “and you can’t lose me. No matter how hard you’ll try, you can’t lose me.”

You let out a couple sobs. Lando pulls you closer to himself again. 

“What do you mean with wanting me?” He asks you.

“Fuck Lan,” you sigh, “I’ve been in love with you for like forever.” 

Lando doesn’t know what he just heard. He asks you again. And again. You keep telling him the truth. 

“Fuck,” he says after a while.

“I’m sorry,” you sob, “I knew telling you was a mistake. Please stay my friend.” 

“Max was right,” Lando says.

You look at him, confused by the deeper meaning behind his words.

“I should have told you,” Lando continues, “Then all of this would never have happened.” 

“Told me what?” You ask confused.

“I’m in love with you,” Lando confesses, “I’ve been for the longest time. That’s why I didn’t like all of your dates, including Pierre.”

Saturday - August 2023

“It always turns me on when you massage me,” Lando confesses. 

You laugh softly. 

“Remember than one time you massaged me?” You ask Lando. He’s quick to nod. “We both have that problem.” 

“Maybe I can massage you again tonight?” Lando suggests. 

“That sounds amazing.”

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris imagine #ln4 #formula one #f1 #lando norris imagines #lando norris smut

[toasttt11]

ethereal

February 20, 2022

It was supposed to be the happiest day for her, she just won gold at the olympics again, breaking history and accomplishments dreams she never thought were possible to accomplish. It was supposed to be a day she was going to celebrate all night but instead it was a day that she knew was coming.

Fredrick and Vera were two peas in pod since the moment they met, the two connecting in a way that was just ethereal.

They quickly become one of the best pairs in history. Most days were spent together training, laughing, smiling, spinning around the ice together.

They grew up together as their friendship grew with them. Fredrick and Vera had a beautiful connection anyone could see it by the way Fredrick treated Vera with love and affection, the way he always was softly touching her, always gently picking her off the podium, Fredrick never once dropping her ever, The wha Vera would light up around him, the way she always relaxed fully again him, how Vera talked about him whenever someone asked about.

Fredrick and Vera just had a connection that was priceless and special and it slowly turned into something more even. In January of 2020 they admitted what they felt for each other and it just grew from their, it was so natural and passionate between the two anyone would think they would be together forever.

Except they weren’t.

Vera never knew when it changed but it did. One day, slowly but surely the sweet boy who use to bring her flowers and make her laugh turned into someone she couldn’t ever recognize a flash of. The boy she fell in love with was gone.

Vera noticed the way he slowly moved into the guest room and on the road suddenly ever room had two bed. The once loving and affectionate touches became nonexistent, the only time she felt his touch was when they were on the ice. And the once sweet comments and lovingly words she received turned into cold condescending words or pure ice cold silence and ignoring anything they came out of her mouth.

Vera noticed it at the end of the summer of 2021 they had been together for a year and half and everything was great until it wasn’t anymore.

Eventually the more she was treated this way she noticed she was falling out of love with him, and at the end of the day she could handle losing his love and losing being in love with him but she missed her best friend.

Vera planned to split up their partnership after the Olympics were over because she was done trying fighting to save something that he doesn’t even want to save.

She knew she made the right decision when they went to sign their contract for the next year of being pairs when she read the requirements. He wanted her to pay for everything. Everything for skating or to do with skating was to be payed by her. The money they receive from winning would not be spilt but would go all to him and Fredrick had the finally say on everything.

Vera slowly looked up from the contract looking right into Fredricks eyes as she picked the contract up ripping it down the middle, “No.”

“What why not?” Fredrick angrily snapped, the lawyer looked between his two clients nervously, having seen the requirements but was told by Fredrick they both wanted them.

“No i won’t sign this. I won’t sign another contract to continue being your pair.” Vera slowly stood up still maintaining eye contact, “You forgot something Fredrick, i never needed you. But you have always needed me.” Vera turned around walking towards the door, hiding the heartbreak from showing on her face.

“You’ll regret this.” Fredrick yelled towards her back slamming his hands on the table. Not ever been known to control his temper.

Vera held the door knob in her hands before turning around, “No i wont.” She turned around ready to leave before she turned her head once more to see the fumes coming from Fredrick, “Oh and if you couldn’t tell, we’re over.” Vera shut the door behind her walking out the hotel confrence room heading straight to the elevator, she clicked her phone on calling to have her plane ready in a hour to go back to California.

Vera walked down the hall to her hotel quickly opening the door slamming it behind her, sliding down against the door hitting the floor burying her face into her hands.

Apollo and Aries jumped off the bed where they were sleeping and ran right to their mother, Aries nudged his nose into her hands and Apollo leaned his body on Vera’s side.

“Thank you my loves.” Vera whispered to her two babies cuddling with them needing the comfort more than ever. She took a few minutes to just hold her dogs before she gently let go of them getting up and starting to pack up their stuff, she packed all of her stuff back into her large suitcase and all of her dogs stuff into their suitcase she clicked on the leashes for her dogs before exiting the hotel room with the two suitcase, her backpack on her back, her purse on her shoulder and both of her dogs on the leashes.

Vera walked out of the hotel into the car that was waiting for her, thanking the driver who took took her bags before hopping into the back with her two dogs.

The drive was quick to the the airport and she quickly climbed up the steps into her plane, nodding at her employees before heading to her bedroom she has in the back of the plane she closed the door and un clicked Apollo and Aries leashes and sat on the bed pulling her knee to her chest resting her forehead on her knees feeling both of her boys sit on either side of her. Aries layed his head on her arm looking at his mom with sad eyes giving her a small whine, Apollo leaned his whole body weight into Vera’s and licking his mom’s arms.

Vera remembered meeting Frederick when they were young, only just kids and when they went onto the ice together for the first time they just clicked and they knew they had to be partners, their connection was so natural and so easy for them. It was a connection many other skater’s envied wanting to be that connected to their partner.

Vera and Fredrick had met Alexandra who quickly became their other best friend, the three quickly became a trio. Becoming each other’s safe space, where they didn’t feel as the whole world was watching. Alexandra and Vera becoming platonic soulmates the two pushing each other to only become better on the ice. Alexandra and Fredrick finding a sibling in each other and having a very teasing relationship.

Traveling the world and spending most your time on the ice you tend to grow close with the people you skate with and Alexandra and Vera don’t know what was wrong with Fredrick but Alexandra slowly stopped respecting her once best friend that was a big brother to her when she saw how he was treating her best friend.

Alexandra could see how hard Vera just wanted their best friend back and she only hoped that Vera will get her happy ending one day.

Vera woke up hours later running a hand through her hair seemingly to fall asleep with her dogs cuddled with her and checked the time realizing the flight was over half way done and decided it was time to get away from California and fast and she knew exactly where she wanted to go.

New Jersey.

New Jersey a place she’s always loved staying in and the biggest factor as it has one of her most favorite people in the world living their her big brother Nico, and the Devils who have all become like family to her and one of her closet friends Jack.

She pulled up the apartment complex she knew Nico and Jack lived and quickly found an apartment that would be perfect for her and her dogs and quickly applied for the apartment and was surprised when her request was immediately approved and the contracts quickly emailed over for her to sign and put into the money and she would already have the apartment. Vera quickly finished everything letting out a small smile seeing how quickly everything fell into place.

She pulled out the book she was currently reading to past by the rest of the time and before she knew the plane was landing and she was waking up her dogs putting their leashes back on and grabbing her backpack and purse.

She walked down the stairs to the plane heading into the car that was waiting for her and got into the car, the drive to her house was quick and she quickly thanked the driver before unclipping the leashes of the dogs and walking into her house in California, one of her more favorite places and had made some of her closest friends here and the first place she bought a place not rented.

She breathed out a sigh of being home and for once she thanked Fredrick for having moved out a while ago so she didn’t have to worry about him coming over to get anything that is his.

She took out her phone as she walked up her stairs towards her room and texted her group chat with Trevor and Jamie telling them she is home and she knows they don’t have a game today or tomorrow before throwing her phone on her bed and heading into her bathroom and taking a long shower.

Vera walked out of the bathroom with her hair freshly washed and brushed before grabbing a pair of grey sweatpants and a purple loose long sleeve, she slipped on a pair of fluffy socks and walked down stairs and across the long hall to the living room and throwing the throw blanket across her lap as Aries and Apollo layed on both sides of her.

Vera heard the door open and knew exactly who it was especially when her dogs tails started excitedly wagging.

“Honey we’re home!” Trevor’s voice echoed through out the house.

“In here babes!” Vera called back not getting up.

Trevor and Jamie walking into the living room making Aries and Apollo jump up and run over to the two. Trevor set down the bag he brought and kneeled down petting them like crazy as Jamie softly petted the top of both their heads before looking at one of his best friends nothing the dimmed look in her eyes that has been more common recently and the way her lips were naturally more downturned.

Trevor bounced up from the dogs jumping onto Vera, “Congratulations VeeVee!” Trevor hugged his best friend tightly.

Vera tried not to think of everything that happened but she couldn’t help and starting sniffing in the hug from the comfort from her best friend, she burrowed her her head into her chest feeling the tears running down her face and her shoulder began to shake.

Jamie and Trevor looked at each other with concern, Trevor hugged her tightly as Jamie sat on the other side of them brushing a soft hand through her wet hair.

The two let Vera cry all her tears out onto Trevor’s hoodie before she slowly calmed down.

Vera lifted her head looking between her two best friends, Trevor wiped off her tears as Jamie looked her in concern, “What happened Vee?”

“He wanted to sign a contract to continue our pair and it was fucked, he wanted me to pay for everything including all of his expenses, all the earnings were to go to him and he had final say in everything, so i ripped up the contract and broke up with him.” Vera fiddled with Jamie’s hands as she told them what went down a day ago.

Trevor clenched his jaw hearing about Fredrick, Trevor having known Vera before she dated Fredrick and with Vera living mostly in California he was one of the few who truly saw how much their relationship got extremely toxic and how much Vera has been heartbroken over the last year.

Jamie frowned looking at one of his best friends, “Is that why you came home early?” He knew she was supposed to be there a few more days celebrating her gold medals.

“I had to leave.” Vera mumbled resting her head on Jamie’s shoulder while Trevor laided on top of her.

“Well i for one am glad you broke up with that asshole!” Trevor grinned looking at Vera making her let out a soft laugh.

“Of course you are ZeeZee.” Vera fondly smiled knowing how much Trevor hated seeing her in that relationship getting hurt.

“How are you feeling.” Jamie looked towards her in concern.

Vera took a deep breath, “Honestly kinda free, obviously it still hurts to think about losing him as my best friend but i’m relieved to have finally cut that part of me.” Vera for the last year as she noticed Fredrick slowly changing she had hoped everything would get fixed and she could have her best friend back but she knew she really needed to end things with him.

“Good.” Jamie kissed the top of her head.

“I got an apartment in New Jersey.” Vera blurted out into the comfortable silence.

Trevor’s head popped up from where he was laying on Vera, “What! Why?”

“I thought maybe a fresh city to live in could do some good, besides my new location will be opening there soon and Nico apartment complex had an open space and Jack will be there too.” Vera explained her thoughts to the boys.

“I think it will be good for you.” Jamie reassured her thinking a new city could be good for her.

“As long as you don’t forget about us!” Trevor pouted, “And we have a lot of games in New York and New Jersey so we will be able to see you a lot.”

“And i’m keeping my house here in California and i still have to come out here a lot anyways so it won’t be that bad.” Vera reassured the pouting Trevor.

“Alright but as long as i’m still you favorite hockey player best friend, Jack cannot past me.” Trevor looked at Vera extremely seriously making Vera and Jamie throw their heads back laughing at their silly best friend.

#verahischierau #jack hughes x reader #nhl x reader #jack hughes #jh86 #luke hughes #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #nico hischier x reader #ch86 #nico hischier #jamie drysdale #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #alexandriazegrasau #nhl #nj devils #luke hughes x reader #simon nemec

[lemon-boy-stan]

“BETTY”

summary: you dated timothee in highschool, but broke up with him after you found out he cheated on you at a house party. now, in 2022, you’re a famous influencer on instagram, and timothee hosts a party where you need an invitation, as a way to get your attention. the guards let you in.  genre: angst, fluff. pairing: timothee chalamet x reader. a/n: this is based on the song “betty” by taylor swift, so i suggest listening to it while reading! also, this took me really long as i wrote it over several days, so i hope you guys like it! warnings: swearing, sexual refrences, slight makeout scenes, loves-me-loves-me-not vibes, lots of pining. 

“betty, i won’t make assumptions about why you changed your homeroom, but i think it’s because of me / betty, one time i was riding on my skateboard and i passed your house, it’s like i couldn’t breathe / you heard the rumors from inez, you can’t believe a word she says / most times, but this time it was true / the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you”

FEBRUARY 2007, HIGHSCHOOL

The day they put you in the same class as your boyfriend, you were so happy that you couldn’t contain your emotions. It was your last year of highschool. Ever since you’d started dating Timmy, they never put you in the same class.

Sure, you’d have a few subjects together - art, maths, drama - but the only times you’d really get to hang out on campus were at break times, at recess and lunch. 

You’d called him as soon as you’d read the email, his face lighting up on the screen. “Can you believe it?” you threw your left hand up as you held your phone in the other hand, “I can’t believe it! They finally put us together! I'm actually excited to go to school for once!"

Timmy grinned and laughed at your enthusiasm before turning serious, making you frown as he pushed back his dark curls on his head. "Y/N," he spoke softly, "I need you to promise me something." and now you were frowning, too, "yeah? What is it, Tim?" and his face darkened as he choked out the words, "just. Just don't listen to anything that people say... about - about you, or - or about me... okay?" and your eyebrows furrowed together; you didn't think he was being serious, but you smiled, nodding, "okay! I promise."

Timothee sighed in relief before smiling again, “thank you. Okay, I love you, but I have to go. Do you want a ride to school?” you grinned before scowling, “not if it’s a ride on your stupid skateboard. I hate that thing.” and Timmy laughed, shaking his head, “no, I’ve learnt my lesson not to have two people on it. So, I’ll come pick you up soon. Okay, now I really have to go.” Then he turned to yell across his shoulder, “yeah, mum! I’m coming!” you giggled softly as the camera moved unstably and the screen cut to black.

You'd gotten dressed a lot faster than you usually did, making your mother surprised as she stood in the doorway of your room. "Hi, mum!" you grinned at her shocked face as you slid on a silver bracelet (you were always still in bed whenever she came to wake you up). 

Your mother frowned before laughing,  "good, you're awake and dressed. I was just going to yell at you to hurry up. There's a Timothee waiting outside for you." you rolled your eyes, "mum, you've known him since he was five." and your mum shrugged, "yes, but ever since he's started dating you I just don't trust him." You scowled before huffing, "Well, I do." and your mother smiled, moving to the side so that you could get through,  "you'd better get going, you don't want to be late on your first day." you grinned, "okay!" before. running up to the front door, nearly hitting the flower vase as you swung it open.

"Timmy!" Timothee laughed again as you burrowed into him. "Hi," he said softly, "hi, I love you." he spoke the words softly and inhaled your scent, making you smile into his black sweater, "I love you, too."  Timmy stroked your hair softly before taking your hand, "come on, let's go."

You didn't like to go on your phone in your boyfriend's car (he'd put the playlists of both your favourite songs on the radio and you'd sing your hearts out the entire drive) but as your phone buzzed, you couldn't help but look down at the message.

First of all, it was a completely random  message, from a completely random person on MySpace. Well, not someone completely random. The girl's name was Rachel, from the popular group at school. She was known for spreading a lot of rumours, so you were kind of scared as to why she, of all people, was talking to you.

princessrachell7: did he tell you yet?

You frowned at your  screen, typing back: "did who tell me what?" and three little dots appeared on the screen as Rachel typed: "did your boyfriend tell you about what happened at Isabel's party?" and now you were frowning even deeper as you wrote back, "no." and princessrachel17 said, "Well, i slept with him. We were kind of drunk. sorry ha ha" but she didn't sound sorry as you stared at your screen and your eyes filled with tears.

Timothee's car jerked forwards violently and he swore loudly at someone on the road before turning to you, "sorry about that. Someone just stopped and - hey. Hey, are you okay? Baby? What's wrong, sweetheart?" half of his attention was on you, another half on the road, but you knew that his thoughts were in another dimension. "Timmy," your throat was dry and your sight was  watery, "I need you to be serious with me." and he took your hand, turning down the music, "yeah, of course. What's wrong?" he'd arrived at school, but he'd stopped the car so the two of you could talk. You knew that people were watching, but people were always watching the pretty boy and the ugly girl.

The words finally came out as the tears began to spill, "Timmy. Did you. Rachel said - she told me on - on MySpace - that you - did you and Rachel sleep together at Isabel's party?" the last few words came out as a jumbled sentence, but you were positive that Timothee had heard it, and that it was true. Because otherwise, why would his face be slack, and why would he look like he'd seen a ghost?

Timothee went quiet, letting go of your hand as the tears fell from your cheeks. "Y/N," he began, in that tone that you knew was going to start an argument, in the tone he always used at the start of an argument, "please. Just listen. I swear..." he sighed heavily, "I swear I didn't mean to. I just... I drank a lot, and she was pretty... but she’s nothing compared to you. Please, can we please just talk about this?”

You narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips, “fine. If you want to ‘talk about it’, we can talk about it. So, how was she?” and Timothee sighed again, this time putting his head in his hands, his dark curls shaking. “I told you,” he said finally, “I don’t know. She was different, I guess -” different. The word stung. “Oh, yeah?” you brushed away a strand of your hair, “how different?” and Timmy sighed again, “I don’t know, but I know it wasn’t the same as you.” 

It was a nice sentiment, but you didn’t care. You were still upset, and you were still hurt. You rose up, forcing the tears to stop, slamming his father’s car door open, ripping off the silver Tiffany bracelet from your wrist, making Timothee flinch as you threw the birthday present on the leather seats of his car, the bangle dropping to the floor with a clatter. There were seven charms on the bracelet - seven charms, for the years you’d known him, two of them were special, because they represented the years you'd dated him, but the bracelet didn't matter anymore. You wouldn't be needing any more charms on it.

You slammed the door shut as you left, ignoring his pleading calls for you to return. You held your head high, walking as fast as you could in the black stilettos that your boyfriend had said looked pretty on you. You kept walking and walking until your foot twisted on the uneven road. You tried to get up, but you couldn't, and you were so glad that no one was around to see you fall. Everyone was in class.

Well, almost everyone.

Timothee ran out of the car as soon as he saw you fall and heard you cry out in pain. He wished he could be by your side sooner, but he got there as fast as he could. Timothee pulled you into his arms and sushed you as you cried, gently rubbing your ankle.

Normally, you would've continued to let him comfort you, continued to drown in his grasp... but today, you didn't. Because today, he wasn't your boyfriend anymore, and he wasn't your best friend, either. Today, he was just a guy who'd cheated on you; a complete stranger.

Even though you were in pain, you pushed Timothee away and shoved him off. You ignored your ankle, just like how you ignored the distraught expression on his face.

Even though you were stubborn and tried your best to pretend that he wasn't there, Timothee was persistent. "Y/N," he called after you, "Y/N, wait, come back! Where are you going?" and you whirled around at him, tears spilling from your eyes furiously as you glared at him, "to change my homeroom." the words stung, but they didn't sting as badly as seeing you in so much pain stung.

Timothee sighed softly, watching as you walked out of his life.

"but if i showed up at your party, would you have me, would you want me? / would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden? / in the garden / would you trust me / if i told you / it was just a summer thing? / i'm only seventeen / i don't know anything / but i know i miss you."

MARCH 2007, HIGHSCHOOL

It had been a month since you'd broken up with Timothee. You dropped out of drama, and changed the subject to another creative arts elective, media, where you learnt how to make films and movies. The lessons took your mind off things for a while; as did your friends, who supported you and became extremely anti-Timothee, making jokes about him and calling him names like ‘Traitor Tim’ or ‘Hell Hal’, after his middle name.

They even made you feel excited about your birthday, which was kind of funny, because you’d thought the thing you would dread the most was your birthday, seeing as Timothee had kissed you on the date two years ago, but as it began to get closer, you were beginning to feel just a little bit better. 

Your birthday was on a Thursday this year, and your friends were planning the party with you. You shook your head as they discussed it over recess. “I’m not inviting him, Claire! I don’t want to see him on my birthday.” Claire rolled her eyes but sighed, “okay, fine.” but your other friend, Eliza, shook her head; “no, you should invite him. Everyone else is invited, even Rachel. I would hate to be in his position.” so you sighed, “fine, whatever.” you hastily put the envelope back in the pile.

Timothee had found out about the party before retrieving the invitation from his mailbox. His new girlfriend, Rachel, had texted him about it. 

Rachel was kind of like Timothee’s rebound girl, but he wasn’t sure if he saw her as a girlfriend. He knew that Rachel saw him as a boyfriend, but even when they had sex together, Timothee just didn’t feel anything special. 

He didn’t want to date Rachel anymore. He wanted to go to Y/N’s party, to see how she was doing, but he wasn’t sure if Y/N even wanted him there in the first place. He’d been cut off by her family, completely exiled. He always knew Y/N’s mother didn’t like him, but her dad had always liked him. Now they all hated him - over a stupid, drunken mistake.

Timothee groaned as he threw the invitation across the room, the room which still smelt of Y/N, which still reminded him of Y/N. 

He had so many of her things in here: the silver bracelet, the expensive Tiffany bracelet he’d gotten her for her fifteenth birthday, the DIY photo album full of polaroid photos she’d made for him for Christmas, the photo from when they were kids and the same photo they’d re-made last year on the shelf right next to it, another photo of them when they were five, sitting on Santa’s lap, another photo from a New Year’s Eve party, where he used the night as an excuse to kiss her for the very first time... the list was endless, and it wasn’t full of just photos.

Timothee groaned again, throwing his head up, fisting his curls frustratedly, “fuck.” because he was still in love with her, he knew that now. Why else wouldn’t he have any feelings for Rachel? Why else wouldn’t he have chucked all of Y/N’s things away already? That’s exactly why you can’t go to her party, Timothee thought to himself, because you’ll just make things worse.

“betty, i know where it all went wrong / your favourite song was playing from / the far side of the gym / i was nowhere to be found / i hate the crowds / you know that / plus, i saw you dance with him / you heard the rumors from inez, you can’t believe a word she says / most times / but this time / it was true / the worst thing that i ever did / was what i did to you.”

APRIL 2007, THE HOMECOMING DANCE, HIGHSCHOOL

Timothee still couldn’t believe what Rachel had told him. Or maybe, he just didn’t want to believe it: that Y/N, his Y/N, had a boyfriend. A different boyfriend, a boyfriend who wasn’t him. The rumor was that they’d met at her part-time job, and he had just graduated from school. The only reason that Timothee had gone to the dance this year was because he’d found out that Y/N was taking her new boyfriend as her date.

You smiled softly, pulling Adam close to you. Adam Park was a pretty boy with dark hair, pale skin, and green eyes. His father was Korean, and his mother was Italian. Adam was sweet and kind, tall and smart. He was funny, too. Your friends made fun of you because he was almost exactly like Timothee, except that his hair wasn’t curly. 

Okay, so maybe Adam was a rebound. Maybe you were hoping to run into Timothee “accidentally”, to show off your new handsome boyfriend, just like how Timothee had started dating Rachel a few months ago after you’d broken up with him, but you doubted that Timothee would even make an appearance. The only year you’d ever seen him at a dance was the year you’d started dating him. Timothee never went to these dances, because he despised the large crowds of people. Rachel was here, but she didn’t have a date.

You tried not to sound so disappointed as Adam brought you over to the dance floor. It’s my favourite song, you thought to yourself, I should try to smile. So you smiled as you let Adam sway you to the beat of the music... but then time stopped. Not because Adam was going to kiss you, but because Timothee had decided to show his face at the dance. He had moved to a corner, and was trying to blend in to the colours of the gym’s walls, earphones in. Even though he was just wearing a dark hoodie, you could spot him anywhere.

And then time moved again. Your heart became cold, and your eyes narrowed, even as you smiled. You didn’t feel sad anymore. You felt like a bitch. And bitches, well... they kissed guys in front of their ex boyfriends, just to make them jealous. Because sometimes, they still loved their ex boyfriends. 

Timothee blinked as he saw Y/N pull Adam close, a smile on her face. He frowned, because he knew that it wasn’t a real smile. This was a fake smile, a smile that was pursed as it reached her ears. This was a smile that was forced. This was a smile - Timothee flinched as time itself stopped. Not because he’d seem something scary, but because he’d seen something painful. Because he’d seen her kiss him. Y/N kissed Adam, her new boyfriend, a boyfriend who she didn’t even look in love with. 

As Timothee slunk away from the party, retreating back to his house and into  his bedroom, tears began to swell up in his eyes. Why did she kiss him? Why did she kiss him? Why did she - CRASH. There was blood on Timothee’s hands. He looked down at the floor, where shards of glass lay scattered and broken on the ground, the picture frame that had been holding the Santa photo shattered on the carpet. Timothee stared at the photograph before sliding down against his bookshelf and sobbing, his head shoved into his hands, the blood, sweat, and tears dripping down his clothes.

“you heard the rumors from inez / you can’t believe a word she says / most times / but this time it was true / the worst thing that i ever did / was what i did to you / but if i showed up at your party / would you have me / would you want me / would you tell me to go fuck myself / or lead me to the garden? / in the garden / would you trust me / if i told you / it was just a summer thing / i’m only seventeen / i don’t know anything / but i know i miss you / i was walking home / on broken cobblestones / just thinking of you / when she pulled through / like a figment of / my worst intentions / she said, “james, get in,” / “let’s drive,” / those days turned in / to nights / slept / next to her / but / i dreamt of you / all summer long.”

MAY 2007, HIGHSCHOOL

Timothee walked on the road back home, listening to yn's playlist on his new l-Pod, his girlfriend's red bug screeching over to the curve.

"Timmy!" he hated the way she said his name. Rachel smiled at him, her blonde, whispy hair blowing out the window as she lifted her sunglasses, her green eyes blinding him. "What are you walking for? Come on, babe! Let's go somewhere!"

Babe, thought Timothee bitterly to himself, that's what Y/N used to call me before you came along. But he got in anyway, and as he took out his earphones, with Rachel's car playing an indie mixtape, Timothee forgot about everything bad that had happened.

Soon, he and Rachel had crashed their lips together, their bodies tangling under the hot Summer sun. But as Rachel squirmed beneath him, Timothee didn't see her at all. He saw Y/N, the entire time.

"betty, i'm here on your doorstep / and i've planned it out for years now / but it's finally sinking in / betty, right now / is the last time / i can dream about / what happens when / you see my face again / the only thing / i wanna do / is make it up to you."

JANUARY 2022, PRESENT DAY

Timothee was sure that you'd forgotten about him by now, but he definetly hadn't forgotten about you.

It was a warm day, and he was back in New York, and was outside your apartment at the buzzer on the doorstep. There were people staring at him, but he didn’t care. There were always people staring at him. His agent had found your address. Ever since he’d seen you in an interview (you were a well-known social media influencer), Timothee had fallen in love with you.

He watched all of your videos and all your interviews. He never missed a single post on social media, although he secretly hoped that you didn’t know that he was following your accounts, because he was pretty sure you hated him.

It had been nine years since he’d seen you, nine years since you’d broken up with him and moved houses, changing schools completely. It was his fault, he knew that now. It was his fault that you’d shut him off, and his fault that he didn’t have you in his life anymore. He’d spent nine years without you, and he was a mess.

He tried to imagine what would happen if you let him up. Would you start to cry? Would you yell at him? Would you throw something at him and tell him to fuck off? Would you panic? Or would you be happy that he was there? Would you smile and cry and say you loved him? Or would you slam the door in his face? 

Timothee shook his head, exhaling shakily before turning away. Then he left, walking anywhere his feet would take him. 

You stared out the window, looking down at the boy with curly dark hair. You knew who he was. Hell, everyone knew who he was. Timothee Chalamet. A famous actor, a famous award-winning actor. People knew him, but they didn’t know him like you did. They didn’t know the sad boy who would always be happy for you, the boy who loved you better than you loved yourself. 

But he was also the boy who left you, the boy who chose someone else over you. And yet here he was, standing outside your apartment, a bundle of flowers in his hand. A bundle of your favourite flowers, although you didn't know how he'd still remembered. Then again, he'd never missed a single of your posts, so of course he remembered.

But then you saw him leave, saw him walk away, taking the flowers with him, keeping his head low. And you didn't mean to, but you began to cry, shoulders shaking as the tears fell from your cheeks.

"the only thing / i wanna do / is make it up / to you. / so i showed up at your party / yeah, i showed up at your party / will you have me? / will you love me?"

Timothee sighed heavily, scrolling through his Instagram feed. It was you. He knew that now. It had always been you, you and never Rachel. He looked at you, smiling up at the screen, a puppy in your arms.

It was a black and white Pomeranian, and his name was Christopher. Timothee had always said Christopher was a stupid name for a dog. That was probably why you called it that, though Timothee doubted that you either cared about or remembered him anymore.

He'd bumped into you at the coffee shop down the road. You'd known who he was, but it didn't appear that you'd remembered who he was. Timothee wasn't so sure. In highschool, you had an incredible memory, always being able to remember facts and things other people said. You could memorize song lyrics, movie lines, and even the things from your childhood that most people would forget.

He was positive that surely you remembered something about him - or you pretended not to know him. He knew you weren't following his Instagram, but you were only following three people.

But today, after the puppy interview, he knew he needed to get your attention; he just couldn't figure out how.

Timothee sighed again, staring at your Instagram profile. Another post caught his eye, an older post. You were at a gala, partying with your friends in a big ballroom. And Timothee smiled. That was how he was going to get your attention.

After seeing him in the coffee shop, you wanted to pretend that you didn't care about him. That you didn't know who he was. Hell, you'd spent nine years pretending he didn't exist, even though a you'd seen his face all over the internet.

But now you'd seen him again, in real life, not in an article or movie trailer. And it did things to your heart you never wanted it to do. You started remembering things you'd thought you'd forgotten, things you'd forced yourself to forget... the good and the bad things, the small and the big things.

You searched for him in your followers to get your facts right. Not about who he was, but if he knew who you were, if he remembered who you were. You watched all his interviews. You watched all his movies, even though you'd always avoided watching them in the past.

You started listening to his music again, on the old I-Pod you'd stolen from him, which was the only thing of his you still had. You checked his posts every day even though you didn't follow him. He didn't post much.

That was when your phone went off - as you lay in your bed, eating pretzels and apple sauce, watching one of his latest movies, Dune. It was an Instagram notification. You had a thousand more followers than you'd had yesterday, and three texts from your friend Claire.

Christopher sat at the foot of your bed, whining as you paused the film, almost as if he didn't want Timothee to go. You cocked your head, "I'm just replying to Claire," but the Pomeranian huffed like he didn't believe you.

It appeared that Claire was freaking out. She'd sent a video link and two other texts, "THE PUPPIES ARE SO CUTE." and then, "HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU? OH MY GOD SO JEALOUS WHAT" it was the second text that caught you off-guard, causing you to click on the video link, a Buzzfeed interview.

He was pretty. His dark curls fell into place all over his pale, almost porcelain skin, dark eyes glinting mischievously. You were paying more attention to the movie than the interview, but then he said something that made you look back down.

Timothee unfolded the piece of paper as he played with the three baby Labradors. He looked at it and said, "celebrity crush? Oh, I'm not too sure. I mean, I guess if I had to choose, I'd say maybe Y/N. No, I don't know her that well, but I've seen her stuff and I think she's got a nice personality. Also, I guess... she's kind of cute?" then he talked to the puppies and moved on to another question.

And Claire sent you another text. "OH MY GOD. MY PRODUCTION TEAM JUST TOLD ME. YOUR BF'S THROWING A MASSIVE PARTY. VERY EXCLUSIVE. YOU SHOULD GO!" you thought that maybe, just maybe, the party was a coincidence. It was probably another cast party for Dune.

But then again, said the little voice in your head, what if it wasn't?

The same entity that spoke in your head made your fingers move unwillingly, replying to Claire's message in a way that you didn't want to. "OMG! MAYBE I WILL GO. Can you send me the details?" and Claire replied just as enthusiastically as she had texted you, "yes, of course, babes! Go get your man."

And suddenly you regretted replying to Claire.

"will you kiss me on the porch / in front of all your stupid friends / if you kiss me / will it be just like i dreamed it? / will it patch your broken wings? / i'm only seventeen / i don't know anything / but i know i miss you."

It was finally Friday. The guests began to arrive at midnight. Timothee didn't really like parties, but he knew Y/N did. Hopefully, word had spread, and hopefully, she would show up.

But it was almost two o'clock now, and the party ended at three. He'd asked security to tell him if she came, but obviously she hadn't.

It'd taken you at least three hours to get ready, only ten minutes to get there, and of course, you were late.

You spent another six minutes in your car outside the function, pretending to fix your lashes, while you were actually worying if you should go or not.

At two thirty you got your shit together. There were guards outside the function area, and you'd only realised they were talking to you the second time they'd adressed you. "Miss, if you don't have an invitation we need to see some ID. If you could just tell us your name and show us your card we'd be happy to let you in. The host is more than accepting of certain - Miss, are you sure you're alright?"

"Oh," you blinked, having seen Timothee looking out the window of the second floor; his back was turned but it was definetley him, "oh, right. Sorry. My name... Y/N. Here..." you fumbled to get your ID, your nails a bit too long to function with. Finally, you got the clasp open, sliding the card out from your wallet.

The guards examined it for a while before exchanging glances. One of them went into the building and the other two stepped aside. There was still that doubtful feeling where you would never accept how successful you'd become. "Enjoy the party."

The formalities of the The evening had long gone disappeared. The big chandelier from the ceiling glittered like a kaleidoscope as the expensive people as the expensive people swayed to the beat of the music, feasting on small portions of finger foods.

Normally you would join them all on the dance floor, but this time you didn't. You knew Timothee hated parties. It was another reason you went; he knew you liked them. In highschool, Timothee always threw big parties for your birthday but hated when you threw parties for his birthday. Even the night with Rachel, you'd learnt he was at her party as a chaperone for his friends. One of his other friends ended up being the designated driver that night.

Timothee had escaped to the balcony. It was too loud downstairs, and there were too many bright lights. He was scrolling through his phone when one of theguards approached him. Timothee sighed, "it's fine if something's broken. No one's sick, are they?" and the guard shook his head. "It's Y/N. She's here."

Timothee's stomach flipped, "where?" following the guard down the stairs. There were two sets of staircases. One on the left side of the ballroom, and the other on the right. You'd seen Timothee on the left side of the second story, so you made your way over to that staircase, but you couldn't find him anywhere. As you made your way back down, doubt began to settle in your body.

Maybe your friend had gotten it wrong. Maybe it wasn't even Timothee's party to begin with. Or maybe it was his party, but he'd gotten his PR team to host it and was actually just chilling at home, eating pretzels in applesauce and laughing at how stupid you were to actually believe him. You shouldn't have taken him seriously. Not the guy who'd cheated on you....

"Y/N." his voice cut through your heart. You didn't even have to see him to know who he was. You knew just from the way he said your name. You'd told yourself you would forget it, and yet here you were, falling deep into every syllable. His name escaped softly from your mouth as you looked up to meet his eyes, stepping down so you were at his level. "Timothee."

You tried to look away, but he pulled you gently towards him. And you knew it was coming, but you were still shocked as he pressed his lips against yours, the action sending tears down your cheeks. He gripped you tight as if he were afraid you might break, would he ever let go. "I'm sorry," he said finally, "I love you." and you put your head into his neck, "I love you too."

you can find my timothee fics beneath fics for the marauders here!

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[illusivesoul]

A new chapter of my Femslash February 2022 fics, a year later lol. Morrigan/Leliana angsty smut.

Words: 2076 Read it on AO3

The flame engulfed the tip of the incense rod. Waiting a moment for the fire to warm it, Leliana blew into it to put it out, and the red hot tip of the rod emanated a powerful scent that began filling the rookery.

The spymaster sat against the stone wall, eyes closed as she let herself be enveloped by the smell of the incense and the warmth of the candles, though the comforting gaze of the statue of Andraste gave her all the warmth she needed.

She had come to value these moments in the dying hours of the day. All the crows were away, and they would begin arriving as soon as the sun started to crest over the horizon. Her agents were resting or away on missions.

.

For a couple hours, she would have the comforting silence she had come to enjoy, with only the moonlight that crept through the clouds and the window to keep her company.

She would have the silence and shadows that had become her home.

Closing her eyes as she kneeled in front of Andraste, she let the words fill her mind.

"The army of the faithful gathered before the gates of the city

Wept openly. And from among them voices raised

In threnody for Andraste wreathed in flame.

Though the fire enveloped her like a shroud, and the heat from the blaze

Reached across the field, Andraste was silent and did not cry out.

And the legionnaires who stood guard nearby

Were shaken, and began to whisper among themselves:

"Is she truly the servant of a god?"

The loud caw that rang across the rookery made the verses of the Chant vanish from her mind, and she instinctively found herself holding her dagger in front of her, her mind and body honed to confront threats at any moment should they arise.

Yet her eyes found nothing but the emptiness that had been her comfort just moments before.

A loud swooping sound was heard, and darkness enveloped the room as the candles were snuffed out, with only a few rays of moonlight preventing the darkness from completely overtaking the rookery.

Another caw, and when the brief noise of a spell vanished, a familiar presence made itself felt.

“I can smell you, witch”

“But can you see me, nightingale?” The voice whispered by her ear as a cold hand placed itself softly on top of her eyes, blocking her vision as another softly wrapped itself around her neck, the unnatural cold creeping into her skin making it clear that there was magic at work.

Leliana felt her resolve waiver, her grip on the dagger loosening as her hands fell to her side as Morrigan’s mouth found her neck, making a desperate gasp leave the spymaster’s lips as a deep kiss that would surely leave a mark was etched into her skin.

And the sensations stopped.

Opening her eyes and swiftly turning around, she was met by a smirking Morrigan , a large black robe covering all of her body and a half smile set on the witch’s face, enjoying the anger she saw rising on the redhead’s face.

“So predictable. You always did have that weak spot on your neck”

“Why are you here, Morrigan?”

“Must we play this game every time, Leliana? We both know I’m not here to join you in your praying to a statue and your silent maker” 

Leliana’s gaze followed Morrigan as she started to pace around the rookery, her long fingers tracing the shape of the now darkened Andraste.

"Shouldn't you have already run back to Celene's side? She must miss you greatly. I know she's found quite a lot of uses for your tongue, most of which go far beyond advice on the magical and the arcane"

Morrigan let out a brief but loud laugh "The Inquisition's dreaded spymaster jealous of the empress of Orlais? My, my. Jealousy is such an unbecoming trait, Leliana. I do understand your frustration though. I imagine being the left hand of the Divine and a woman of faith doesn't let you use your tongue in the ways that you so much enjoy" 

Morrigan's eyes drifted to the dagger in Leliana's hand, seeing the fingers tighten around its handle before she sheathed it.

"Would you have preferred that I'd be advising the Inquisitor instead? So we could gaze angrily at each other and exchange barbs during the strategy meetings? Getting you all worked up so that you can then push me into the many dark corners of this castle and…"

“Get out”

“The Inquisitor told me how you described me. ‘She's ruthless. Capable of anything’. Surprised you didn’t tell him that I ate children and set towns on fire for fun. Though you’re not one to tell stories anymore, from what I’ve heard”

“As if I would need to exaggerate to describe your… wickedness. I merely made the inquisitor aware that he should not let his guard down around you. The rotten apple doesn’t fall from the tree, after all” Leliana replied as she stepped closer to the witch.

Morrigan huffed, but Leliana noticed the way the witch’s fists clenched “Looks like your tongue hasn’t dulled. Shame you hardly put it to use other than to pray to the nothingness”

“You’d do well to leave now”

Morrigan leaned into the statue, and with a subtle movement, the robe partly opened, letting Leliana see enough to make whatever resolve she had left vanish.

“Make me, spymaster”

Those who oppose thee

Shall know the wrath of heaven.

Field and forest shall burn,

The spymaster's gauntlets hit the ground as Leliana pushed Morrigan against the wall, their mouths locked into a fiery kiss that made them both gasp loudly for air. This was the part that the witch always enjoyed the most, seeing Leliana's barely contained anger transform into unbridled passion. She pushed the woman's head downwards, Leliana gasping in pleasure as her lips moved from Morrigan's neck to the space between her breasts. Her head lingered there. Morrigan softly kneaded the red hair, and they didn't move for a moment. Too soft, too intimate, too vulnerable for her liking.

She nudged Leliana's head to the side, and the woman wasted no time in capturing a hardened nipple in her mouth, her hands softly grabbing the breast and massaging it. Morrigan closed her eyes and gasped as she listened to the pleasured sounds coming from Leliana as her lips and hands did wonders on her tits.

She knew how much the redhead enjoyed this, and she in turn took her pleasure out of hers.

The seas shall rise and devour them

The witch raised her hips to make them meet Leliana’s hungry mouth as the spymaster kneeled in front of her. The mouth that by now knew every fold, mark and line spot of her skin. The redhead placed one leg over her shoulder, placing some quick kisses on the stretch marks that adorned her stomach before burying herself in Morrigan’s core.

Morrigan moaned, letting out loud groans that filled the rookery as Leliana's fingers toyed with her soaked folds, her face buried in the black mound of hair between her legs, taking every scent and drop that came from the woman.

Morrigan buried her hand in the woman's red hair and pulled her back, Leliana's needy and wanton filled groan as her mouth parted from Morrigan’s fold making the witch’s knees feel weak. The sheer look of despair and want in the redhead's blue eyes as she met Morrigan’s along with the glow of wetness that covered the lower half of her face made a shiver go up and down the witch's spine.

Leliana tried to move forward, but Morrigan pulled her back, drawing out another groan in frustration from her before letting her finally plunge in once more.

The wind shall tear their nations

Leliana gasped against the cold stone as Morrigan held her closely from behind, her armour coming undone with the swiftness that only familiarity could bring.

Her legs spread, and the cold air coming through the roof brushed against her skin, but the feeling was soon drowned by Morrigan's fingers slipping inside her, curling upwards and reaching that spot that made the spymaster's knees weak at the same time as the woman’s other hand reached around her and began softly rubbing her engorged clit.

The redhead pushed against Morrigan, their bodies being as close as they could be, their moans uniting and turning into the symphony that they had grown accustomed over the years, a music that was only meant for their ears.

“Say it” Leliana demanded amidst her moans.

“Make me say it”

Leliana grabbed the back of Morrigan’s head and turned hers to meet her eyes “Say it, Morrigan”

“I… I love you” The witch answered, follow immediately by a curling of her fingers inside Leliana and another brushing of the woman’s clit, making the spymaster dissolve into a trembling mess only held upright by Morrigan’s grip.

They laid down on top of the black robe on the ground as Leliana’s climax passed, Morrigan enveloping the two of them in a comforting magical warmth that made the cold mountain wind vanish from her minds.

Morrigan moved her hand from Leliana, only for the spymaster to grab it and press it firmly around herself, not before planting a soft kiss on the palm of the witch’s hand. Morrigan placed a soft kiss on her neck as she held her tightly from behind, feeling the rhythm of their breaths moving in tandem as her eyes got lost in the full moons that shone their light over the two of them. 

“Are you still awake?” Morrigan asked after some time.

“Yes”

“Aren’t you going to ask about Kieran?”

“I want to, and at the same time I don’t.  You’ve made it clear that you don’t want me to be part of his life”

“I never said that”

“You did not have to. Your actions said it for you. He is already old enough to remember things, Morrigan. I’d rather he not think of me at all than be the woman he’ll see once every couple of years or once every decade when her mom decides to stop by. Because her mother is an egotistical, selfish…”

Morrigan felt her stomach sinking as she heard the pained hush Leliana let out, and she could tell without seeing that there were tears running down her face “Maker, you break my heart, Morrigan. Every time”.

Morrigan waited until enough time had passed, until Leliana’s breathing told her she was lost in the world of dreams before uttering words that only the 2 moons in the sky would listen “I am sorry, my love… for everything”

From the face of the earth,

Lightning shall rain down from the sky,

The loud caw that reached her ears made her eyes snap open as she stood, her heartbeat raising at the swiftness of her movement. As her vision cleared from the tiredness of sleep, Leliana saw several crows standing on the railing and near their cages, filling the air with their noises and with the small rolls of papers containing important information tied to their legs. 

"Morrigan?" Leliana asked as she stood, wrapping her arms around herself as the cold morning wind that entered through the open window brushed against her bare skin as the first rays of sunlight appeared over the horizon. 

She stood and took a few steps before noticing the large black robe on the ground. Wrapping it around herself, her eyes closed for a moment as the lingering traces of the perfume reached her nose.  The witch was gone. Leliana knew she wouldn't stay. She never did.

As her sight moved to the other side of the room, where the sunlight had started to shower the statue of Andraste. Yet this time, the statue's gaze gave no warmth, no comfort. Just an emotionless, cold, judging stare that Leliana felt it pierced the depths of her soul, so much that she had to turn her eyes away from it.

Once again she felt the sinking feeling in her stomach, the want to feel anger but only being able to feel regret, the constant longing that perhaps this time it would have been different, that perhaps this time… she would have stayed.

She knew better, yet she kept hoping.

"Morrigan?... Morrigan…"

They shall cry out to their false gods,

And find only silence.

#dragon age #leliana #morrigan #morriana #dragon age fanfic #dragon age fanfiction #leliana x morrigan #morrigan x leliana #leliana dragon age #dragon age leliana #morrigan dragon age #dragon age morrigan #witch of the wilds #sister nightingale #da fanfic #lime

[marymauk]

Fic recs: The Oldies

Early M9 my beloved; in honor of the upcoming anniversary of the Mighty Nein's finale I present to you a selection of the earliest m9 fics from my bookmarks, mostly pre-ep 26. Nearly all are wildly off canon by 2022 standards, but honestly? Still great reads.

Unfamiliar by CurrieBelle, G, 4k, January 2018

After the slaying of the Nergaliid, Fjord's unknown patron grants him a new spell. Fjord seeks help from the nearest unwashed wizard in order to master it.

Mildly widofjord, such a cute concept. And art!

the sea, take us back by vannral, T, 9k, February 2018

The sea says: You are not welcome here. This place is not for you.

Caleb Widogast fights with everything he has to get back what was once ripped from him.

I loooovee ocean mythology…. Forever obsessed with this fic. Mildly Widofjord, again. I think this is from before we knew about Trent?

the line between nothing and everything by whichlights, M, 12k, May 2018

Molly didn’t sign up for any of this. Not any of this Lucien bullshit, not any of this scrutiny, and definitely not for all these feelings.

Widomauk friends with benefits with feelings and an emphasis on genderfluid Molly. What more could you want?

Basically the cutest thing ever, basically by wristpockets, G, 1k, June 2018

Jester goes to her room early so she can draw for the Traveller. Kiri joins her.

Cuteeeee

Are We There Yet? (or: The One Where The Road Trip Had Metaphysical Implications) by eponymous_rose, T, 1k, July 2018

The Stormlord, the Traveler, and Eyeball McGee embark on a road trip to get their followers out of a jam.

That's one way of responding to ep 25… asdfshds this is so funny

twisters chasing storms by flashbackforward, T, 7k, July 2018

Molly groans behind her softly, “Really? Did you really have to—oh, alright then—,” but he doesn’t step in, and he doesn’t stop her.

“Stay down,” Beau growls, and the guy—did she ever get his name? She doesn’t think so—presses a hand to his face and swears, but doesn’t rise up off the floor.

Caleb, half-turned on the bench where Beau had been sitting a moment before, takes a slow sip of his drink. “Tonight is not the night to fuck with us, friend,” he says.

…An alternative response to ep 25.

you changed the melody every time by QueenWithABeeThrone, T, 2k, July 2018

Kashaw looks down at his son’s sightless red eyes, the gaping wound in his chest. He’s going to find the fucker who did this, and he’s going to—well, he’s going to let his boy have a go at them before he does. But first he’s got to bring him back.

Ep 26 fix-it fic that dares to ask: What if Lucien had a high level cleric dad on speed dial?

#okay thats all for now folks #ohh i miss the early m9 #critical role #m9 #the mighty nein #widomauk #widofjord #cr fic #fic recs #my post

[goose-books]

view the image in higher quality here; thank you as always to my beloved @yvesdot for the template! last year’s year in review can be found here.

this was the year of godsong eating my brain forever and ever amen. and a good year for writing overall; i wrote a lot of very silly for-fun-to-share-with-friends stuff, and that felt very nice, particularly when i was in the Productivity Torment Labyrinth with school. transcripts and month-by-month details under the cut! (take the godsong character roster; you might need it.)

cws: alcohol (february), pregnancy (april)

january

i started the first draft of the first book of godsong for nanowrimo 2021; in january, i wrapped up the draft with the last plotline. godsong is split into three plotlines, each driven by a major character (our friends from the intro post!). though these plotlines will be integrated in the final draft, i wrote each of them separately, for coherency reasons; last to go was ambergris’s, which i think of, affectionately, as the HTTYD movie for dykes on mood stabilizers. interspecies pack bond except both members hate everybody else in the world. [forbidden friendship playing]

Vaska let her reapply the paste to injuries slick with saliva. Ambergris was aware of his gaze on her, his head tilted at the very corner of her vision, but she kept her focus on her unsteady hands, until she had finished dressing the wounds and she turned to find Vaska’s head right next to her own.

Her breath caught. This close, so near he could have pressed his snout against her nose, his eye was brilliantly bright, gold in the sunlight, shot through with darker rays. There were no whites, and a slit pupil rather than a round one, and yet Ambergris couldn’t shake the thought that he looked unnervingly human.

The other side of his face reeked with infection, so swollen she could barely see the empty eye socket. Long-dried blood trailed down his neck. The medicine was cold in her hand. She watched his gaze move, slow and deliberate, to the vial, before he raised his stare back to hers.

Slowly, tremblingly, Ambergris shuffled her crutches beneath her arms and held her hand out. Not reaching for his snout, nor straight for his injuries, but to open her palm beneath his head, just under his chin.

For a moment they stood in silence. Both of them frozen. Both of them, Ambergris realized with a quiver, afraid.

“Vaska,” she said softly, barely a breath, and the dragon laid his great head down in her palm.

february

2022 was the year of ash pyrris, aka godsong’s neopronouns-user marc antony expy, aka a bona-fide no-asterisk war criminal and the lapdog lover of the most popular butch milf in town. (can you imagine making an ancient roman read all of those words.) i spent the first three months of the year working on an extended second-person ash story (er. novella. it’s twenty-two thousand words) detailing xir backstory (referred to, inventively, as “ashbackstory”), and it remains perhaps my favorite thing i’ve written this year.

“Ash,” Julienne says, soft, calm. Not Captain. Your name, and when you look up she’s looking at you. And there’s something you have to say to her, and her face is hazy and huge as the moon—what were you going to say to her? Her eyes glitter coin-flip gold. Fuck, she’s beautiful. Like a saint. Like a god.

Your eyes fall on her lips, stained blossom-red with wine. And it comes back. “Julienne,” you blurt, voice too thick, too clumsy, “you’re drunk, you shouldn’t—”

“Ash,” Julienne says, low enough to stop your heart, and you fall silent. She’s gazing up into the stars again, and suddenly you want her to look at you again so badly it hurts like a kick to the ribs.

“I think my fate is coming together at last,” she says, voice breathy with wonder. “This city needs more than a high judge, Ash. This city needs a god.”

When you reach for your words, you have none. How can you argue with her? When you’d follow her anywhere? When you’d fall to your knees to kiss holy wine off her fingers?

You can’t.

You don’t.

That’s the horrific part, later. You don’t.

march

in march i read gideon the ninth, which is to say that in march i became a changed man. someday i’m going to get called out for the similarities between godsong and TLT, and to that i’ll only be able to say that the first draft of godsong came before i’d read GTN and i guess catholic lesbians just write the same shit about religion and devotion and grief and redheaded butches. anyway, lots of the character dynamics in godsong slot very interestingly into TLT necro/cav dynamics, so i wrote a scene from a godsong canaan house au. which then inspired my dearly beloved @lazarusemma​ to proceed to dream up and write an entire godsong/TLT au that i think is topping 20k words. if you’re thinking, “wow, i know stuff about TLT, i’d like to read the godsong edition!” then shoot me a message and brother, i will hook you up. (lines as featured in yves’s parallels post; in which ichari is felidore and spades is the ninth cavalier.)

“This ought to be good,” Sascha said, in a voice he certainly thought was a whisper. Ambergris did not answer; her gaze had slid past the Eighths.

The Ninth cavalier stalked to the middle of the room with the steady grace of a great cat. Though the skull paint muddled her features, Ambergris could pick out a square jaw, narrow eyes, dark hair chopped off blade-straight just above her chin. She was broader than Felidore, limbs taut with muscle; she stood steady and poised, statue-still in a breathlessly anticipatory way. She did not speak. She bent her rapier blade, as though loosening it like a ligament, and stood at ready position.

Behind her, Vanya Nonavulpa leaned back against the wall, and beneath the paint Ambergris saw its lips twitch into a smirk.

Felidore had disarmed Anemone in moments. They had disarmed the Second House girl in minutes, and even the Fourth House soldier had drawn them to a sweat but not a standstill. The Ninth House cavalier, Ambergris realized within the first breath, was a different sort of creature. The two of them crashed together with the elegant violence of a dance. Ambergris didn’t have the knowledge or reflexes to make sense of the flashing rapiers, or even follow their blurring arcs through the air. What she could recognize: the new speed at which both combatants moved, and the new intensity to Felidore’s dodging as they barely kept their ribs from the delicate touch of the Ninth’s black blade.

april

re: writing a lot of noncanon stuff for fun: thinking really hard about neopronouns marc antony led to an extended au where xe accidentally knocks up xir boringass coworker (stella errans), whom xe hates. this is colloquially known as “erranspreg” and i feel like i need to at least mention it in here because i can’t go fucking anywhere without one of my bastard friends bringing up the bland pregnant man. look, HE WANTS TO BE A DAD! his DANGEROUS AND MORALLY QUESTIONABLE POLITICAL POSITION shouldn’t get in the way! (say hi to the godsong roman triumvirate, btw, in which the role of octavius caesar is played by a teenage girl.)

“You are not pregnant,” Sisyphania clarified.

Stella blinked. He blinked again. “Well,” he said, rather uselessly, “I am.”

Which broke some sort of spell. Ash exhaled, hard, and reached expressionless for xir bottle. Leanna said, “Are you—really?,” and Sisyphania said, “Because that would be—”

“Inconvenient,” Stella allowed, shifting his weight from foot to foot and wishing she would look away. “Strategically. I know.” With a stiff shrug: “But the gods work in arcane ways. Better to take our blessings when they come.”

“You are being serious,” Sisyphania said, still very calmly.

Leanna whistled. They were making eye contact, which unnerved him; usually they spoke without glancing up from their papers. Not unkindly, they said, “Who’s the lucky parent?”

Stella watched Ash’s hand tighten around the stem of xir goblet.

He let xim feel it for a moment. Then he exhaled and said, “I’m the parent. I’m the child’s father. That’s all.”

may

...and on the note of teenage girl octavius caesar. yves once described me as having “never worked on canon in my life,” and i would like to declare that that isn’t true. i wrote SO much canon this year! i just happened to write so much more stupid AU stuff. this one comes from a document known as “getalong au” because the premise is that every character is aged down about thirteen years and they’re NICE to each other, goddamnit! (no one is nice to each other in canon.) specifically, the plot of this is “ash and carron raise carron’s five-year-old adopted daughter,” which makes this technically the octavius-caesar-kindergarten-AU, i guess??? i love to say words

Still, Ash maintained the brief and futile hope that it might go well, that whatever poor little Dickensian orphan Julienne was taking pity on might actually be tolerable. This illusion lasted until xe saw her: a tiny round-faced thing with big goggly eyes and a puff of blonde hair, half-hidden behind Julienne’s leg. She looked way younger than five. She looked like a stuffed animal. She looked like xe could have punted her easily into the sun.

And she was staring. Unblinking. Owl-eyed. Ash’s stomach curdled. It was one of the (many, many) reasons xe didn’t like kids. At least adults tried to be subtle. Maybe they startled a little when they saw xim, maybe their eyes lingered too long on the scarred half of xir face while they stumbled over xir pronouns, but they did most of their gawking out of the corner of their eyes, sideways glances they thought xe didn’t catch. Little kids had no such instinct. Little kids stared.

The kid stared. Ash lifted xir chin and stared back.

“This is Mx. Ash,” Julienne said, and her voice, though not the babying tone in which people talked to cats, was lowered, softened. Rare for her. She let one hand slip down to tousle the girl’s unkempt hair. “I promise xe’s very nice.” Which was paired with a biting look that told xim xe had better be. “Ash, this is Sisyphania. Sisyphania, you want to say hi?”

june

OKAY WE’RE BACK TO CANON STUFF. godsong has an achilles character and i gave her narrative awareness. i really enjoy playing with POV and i really enjoy writing second person; you may have noticed that ashbackstory, from february, is also second person! godsong’s character backstories usually are: you are [NAME], they say, and here is your story, and you are whoever the narrative says you are. only one godsong character has been granted first-person arguing-with-the-narrative privilege and by god is she going to use it. (and by god, was this a fun exercise in POV.)

This story starts with a sacrifice. It ends that way, too.

Your legend begins before you are born. Your father is a wise man and a great king, ruler of the seaside kingdom of Pyrrinth, devotee of Orinaea famed across the land and seas for his piety. When his queen dies, when he is left bereft of the only woman he ever loved without a child to carry on her memory, he kneels before the ocean for forty days and forty nights and prays for an heir. Then he lines six hundred bulls along the beach, a row that stretches a lowing dappled half-mile, and his servants slash their throats into the sea. The legends will say the terrible cry of six hundred broken throats still echoes off the cliffs. The legends will say the shallows washed red over the beach for years. The legends will say your father cut his hand and let three drops of blood fall over the water, and when the tide washed out, you lay, tiny and red-faced and screaming, in the sand.

The legends will call you Blood of the Sea, Blade of Shysha, Hand of Death. They will call you the swift-footed lioness of Pyrrinth, the flashing-eyed daughter of Orinaea’s salt foam, she who outraced the winds and wielded the war god’s sword. Your body is the pyre that burns Ivander-in-the-West. You are the last true hero called great.

My name is Atelanta Anankares. I am born angry. I am born great.

july

briefly leaving godsongland--over the summer, i tried my hand at writing horror for the first time, for submission to a shakespearean horror anthology! i think my piece (based off twelfth night) turned out, um, not very horror-genre. and i didn’t get into the anthology, which i’m not bothered about because i didn’t expect to (sometimes you submit things as a total crapshot in the dark). as a result, i’ll be posting this piece to my ao3 account on twelfth night itself; tune in this january 5th to see me do gender to another malvolio.

“Go to my lady,” you begged her. “Do not say that I am mad.” And again, a hoarse cracking scream: “I am not mad!”

Perhaps it is a lie. You would not know; you do not know if the cell is dark, though you cannot see your own bleeding hands, because the priest and the fool swore they could see as if wreathed in the light of God. If you are mad it is not your fault. If you are mad you are something to be cared for, something to be wrapped in woolen blankets with someone else stroking your hair, something that no longer has to fight and claw and cry out against the rest of the world. If you are mad it is not your fault. If you are mad she may feel sorry for you. How easy it would be. How simple. The price, of course, is being wrong. You play with the cuff of your sleeve, twisting it back and forth though it chafes against your wrist. You are not sure if you fear being wrong less than you fear knowing this. Than knowing she is in danger. Than knowing she is alone.

You are alone. Your shoulders have stopped shaking with sobs; your voice has given way. You are as sane as any man in Illyria, unless you are mad, unless you are wrong, and in truth you are not sure you know the difference anymore.

august

and we’re back in godsongville. in july, i started working on the first draft of the second godsong book. maybe i ought to edit the first one first, but i hate editing and i didn’t want to get bogged down. godsong1 is split into three plotlines, as mentioned; godsong2 (godspark) has just two, so i started with the shorter one, a continuation of the shakespeare’s-julius-caesar-themed plotline. in godsong1, this was narrated by local traumatized gladiator spades; in godsong2, her weird little roadkill-looking bestie has the reins, and they were biting my fingers the entire fucking time. yes, they have the same name as their patron god (a two-faced fox); they did this on purpose; i apologize on their behalf.

As Vulpa eased their box of matches from their belt, they thought fleetingly of the old story: their god and the sun. Sometimes it was both faces, in the story; usually it was only the younger half, pup-soft and arrogant. Leandros had crafted the sun between his hands like pottery, breathing a glow into its mouth to hang it in the sky and light the earth. One by one the other gods came to him to gaze at it; one by one they departed. Only the younger face—the one whose name they had taken—paused.

“I should like,” it said, “to hold it.”

When Leandros narrowed his eyes, the god Vulpa swore to the stars on his cloak that it should only hold and never take—“for if I flee with it,” it added, “I shall call Vasha, and you may have our shared eye.” And this concept made Leandros hungry, for the stories said that the eye the faces shared could see into past and future alike, and with that the art god might create divine things indeed. And so he drew back his cloak and stepped aside and allowed them to hold the sun.

Yet as soon as he moved aside, Vulpa cried out, “Our eye I promised, but not our blood, and there is no bloodless blinding! And the stars we swore to only stretch as far as the hem of your robes, and we can leap that distance in a moment—” and so saying, it snatched the sun and leapt the moon and fled across the sky, light bleeding from between its teeth. But Vulpa had spoken too quickly; the sun in its mouth seared hot as a fresh coal, and halfway through the sky it dropped its prize, smoke spilling from its jaws. No matter—it left Leandros to gather up the burning coin and fled laughing to the cave that it called home.

september

see above. i finished the vulpa POV plotline this month, and yeah, it gave me hell the whole way through. spades is relatively easy to write because she thinks like a normal person. vulpa can have thought spirals you’ve never even IMAGINED, babygirl. this is one of its only chill moments.

Spades sat still as marble, elbows on the bench, hands beneath her chin, staring at the far wall. Vulpa let itself gaze at her profile: the scar slitting over the low bridge of her flat nose, the hair chopped off knife-straight at her square jaw. Sometimes it recalled the way she had looked when they met, that very first moment with her hair falling past her shoulders, but it could never quite reconcile that with how she looked now. This was Spades, in front of them; the hapless half-gladiator with the grabbable silken mane was Cinquedea.

“Is there something on my face,” Spades said, without moving.

“Stoic heroic torment,” Vulpa said.

For which it won the smallest of eye rolls.

october

this was the month i wrote the least; i was recovering from finishing vulpaplot and preparing to dive into the next plotline for nanowrimo! so take this scrap from a noncanon piece i wrote where vulpa (horrible little rat creature, hates rich people, eats cigarettes off the floor) and sascha (rich people, resident airheaded prettyboygirl) hook up. neither of them are having all that much fun. neither is anna, who walks in on it.

Their teeth knocked together. Vulpa hissed; Sascha cursed. Then his hands were on its shoulders, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise, and they clutched at each other, Vulpa like it could pull him off the desk and Sascha dragging it forward until it stood between his knees up on its toes crumpling his coat in its hands mashing its mouth against his thinking Here fucking taste it then get my blood in your mouth get my hideous heathengod filth all over you is this what you asked for—

“I—am sorry,” came a low voice from the doorway.

Oh mother fuck, Vulpa thought, and bit him.

Hard, judging by his shriek and the sudden burst of blood on its tongue. Vulpa shoved him away and staggered back, cold with horror, tinted glasses hanging off its face.

In the doorway, Annadrijanna Ivtouched stood silent and still, face betraying no touch of emotion except, perhaps, a deep and fantastic exhaustion.

november

set to work on the other plotline of the second godsong book! in which anna’s plot and ambergris’s plot intertwine, because everybody ends up in the same place: ambergris’s fucked-up family home with her horrible horrible parents who breed birds. “why not this,” anna thinks, “life as the chosen one is already so goddamn weird.”

“The man who drove us up the hill,” Anna said. “He said there has been… a god wronged.”

“Yes.”

One word, and an answer she had already surmised from Iv’s messages. Even so, it was a stone to the chest. “Which one?”

Ambergris shrugged. “Eggs have gone missing,” she said. “My father thinks it’s thief.” Her frown was a barely-there twitch. “Um—theft. He’s put guards around the mews.”

It took Anna a moment. “The—falcons’ eggs.”

“The falcons,” Ambergris repeated. “You must understand—” Another slight smile. “They’ve made us very rich.”

She looked remarkably unbothered. No bird perched on her shoulder or wheeled about her head, and Anna realized she had ascribed it in the back of her mind to the crutches, as if a falcon small enough to hold in two hands could unbalance her further. “And do you think it’s theft?”

Ambergris blinked at her, slow, almost feline. “I think if this house is cursed,” she said, “it’s a curse that’s been a long time coming.”

december

trying to do nano and school at the same time beat my ass, so i took a little break in december. i haven’t finished godsong2 yet, but i’m hoping to pick it up again in january! in the meantime, i went back and fleshed out some bits of godsong1 now that i have more lore. +10 trauma points for anna.

At some point they lay back on the gauze-soft blankets, just as they had in the cave: Anna’s arm under Cairo’s shoulders; Cairo curved into his side with her head on his flat chest; Anna running his hand up her stretch-marked thighs, her soft stomach, her small breasts—over her nightgown, not pushing for more, just marveling at her. Just to say with his touch a thing he couldn’t quite fit in words. When she reached out, fingers kiss-light, to trail her fingers over his shoulder and down his side, he wondered how long it had been since anyone had touched him this gently.

Even as he thought it, her hand drifted to his hip. His left hip. Anna stiffened.

“What happened to you?” Cairo murmured. One finger traced a line along the scar slicing over the bone, tissue thick and knotted as mooring rope. Easy to curtain with his robes; impossible to miss in his underclothes. “I mean here.”

Bile in his throat. A flash of memory, scalding sea-gray eyes and blood between white teeth.

“It was a war,” Anna got out, cupping Cairo’s hand to move it away. When she blinked, he managed a soft, “Please—it hurts.” A lie dropped from a holy tongue like prayersong. The scar only ached when it rained. The memory hurt.

i know it’s been a quiet year for this blog, but thank you to everyone who’s stuck around and taken interest in my projects! wishing you a very very peaceful and fulfilling 2023

#and that's a wrap! #sorry for the phrase neopronouns marc antony. #marc antonxe if you will. #max.txt #max actually writes #okay sorry for the amount of character tags i'm about to do. brace please #godsong tag #ambergris armindale #ash pyrris #julienne carron #sascha armindale #cinquedea spades #stella errans #sisyphania carron #leanna larkspur #atelanta anankares #vanya vulpa #anna ivtouched #ichari felidore #<-- WHEW. #year in review

[pixy-stix-art]

I posted 2,019 times in 2022

218 posts created (11%)

1,801 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@baka-monarch

@aslitheryprinx

@cyncerity

@squishys-soft-stories

@oh-i-need-a-name

I tagged 445 of my posts in 2022

#tw vore - 124 posts

#pixie talks - 115 posts

#random - 91 posts

#ask - 86 posts

#mcyt g/t - 47 posts

#mcyt g/t community - 28 posts

#anon - 24 posts

#ask game - 20 posts

#anon ask - 20 posts

#mcyt gt - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#ą̷̛̰͎̬̺̳̜͚̲̹̘̰͚͈̗͓̰̹̥͙̠̹̖̖̖̮̝̯̍̓̄̑͌͊̆̅͛̿̐͆̽͑̊͘͜͜ͅͅĺ̵̛̌̅̓̌̃̐̓̋̈́̓͆̌́̀̎͂̂̃̌̎̽͌̈́̅́͛̀̊̂̅̉̒̂̊͌͋̾́̌̈́̇̉́̃̄̎̒̉͋́̈́̑̅͑̅͑͗̐̄̐̓̽̿́̚͘̚̕̕͠͠

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

How about some mountain giants fluff? 👀 Maybe with Techno and Ranboo?

Techno is teaching Ranboo how to read

54 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

#4

If you're still taking requests, how about cryptid karlnapity au fluff?

Karl and Quackity talk while Sapnap naps

59 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#3

Rescued part 2

Part two of scales n’ feathers first meeting, this time Quackity meets Sapnap.

Had it been months since I posted? Yes. If this seems different from the other parts that’s why also it’s kinda short but idc

(Warnings: accidentally fearplay, miner injures, vore mention)

Quackity blinked as Karl got to the large cave. He really didn’t want to be here. But he was to weak to do anything about it. He closed his eyes clinging to Karl as he slithered into the cave. He flinched as Karl called out to his boyfriend. He was so loud…

Karl called out for Sapnap as he slithered deeper into the cave. He needed his help for this.

Sapnap picked his head up hearing Karl. He got up from their nest and slithered out to find Karl. He smiled seeing him. “There you are! I was getting worried what was taking you so long.”

“I got a bit distracted.” Karl chuckled softly. He moved his hands so Sapnap could see Quackity curled up against him.

“Oh….” Sapnap’s eyes widened seeing the tiny duck hybrid. He looked closer and it was obvious the poor thing was hurt. “What happened?” He asked softly.?

Quackity whimpered feeling another set of eyes on him. He didn’t want to see the other naga. He didn’t want to be here, he was going to die here…. Even if Karl actually wanted to help, there was no reason the other naga wouldn’t eat him. He kept his eyes closed shaking a little in Karl’s hold. He listened as Karl explained to Sapnap what had happened.

“That’s horrible…” Sapnap frowned as Karl finished the story.

“I know. That’s why I brought him back here so we could fix him up and he can rest for a little while and heal.” Karl said slithering to the nest. He rubbed Quackity’s back feeling him start to shake. He hated how scared he was.

Quackity hated how he leaned into Karl’s touch.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Sapnap said going off to find stuff to help. The little hybrids wings looked in rough shape.

Karl held Quackity in front of his face. He gently pressed a finger to his wings trying to see how bad it was.

Quackity flinched as Karl touched his wings. “D-don’t…it hurts.” He mumbled.

Karl quickly pulled his finger away. “Sorry…but we need to clean your wings up so they don’t get worse.”

Quackity sighed knowing that was true. He just wished a couple of nagas weren’t the ones helping him.

“I got the bandages. And some food.” Sapnap held out a piece of bead to Quackity.

Quackity slowly took the bread. He hadn’t been able to get food in awhile. He happily bit into the food.

“I’m going to start cleaning your wings now. Ok?” Sapnap said.

“Ok…please don’t break them.” Quackity said shivering at the idea of giant fingers touching him.

“I won’t I promise.” Sapnap said.

The nagas curled up so Sapnap could easily get to Quackity’s wings. Sapnap started with gently cleaning the wings with a wet cloth. After cleaning the wings they where both surprised to see the wings weren’t brown, but a beautiful gold.

“Oh wow…your wings are so pretty.” Karl said looking down at Quackity.

Quackity had set frozen still as Sapnap started to touch and clean his wings. He expected pain, but the naga was surprisingly gentle. He flushed pink at Karl’s comment. “Thanks…” he mumbled.

Sapnap then got some medicine to put on the cuts Quackity had on his wings. It would help numb the pain. Then finally he gently wrapped the wings up to let them heal.

“Ok, all done.” Sapnap said putting away the first aid kit.

Quackity was more relaxed now then before. Sapnap had been so careful. More careful then someone who was planning on killing him would be. He didn’t trust the nagas. But he didn’t think they wanted to hurt him. “Ok, thank you.” He sighed great full to not be in pain anymore.

Karl hummed softly seeing Quackity baby relax more. “Now you should rest. You need to heal.” He gently petted Quackity’s hair.

See the full post

61 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#2

My gift for @frickfrackiwastakingabath for the MCYT G/T summer event by @mcyt-gt-events

I decided to do art this time because I can get that done easier then writing right now. I really hope you like it! I wanted to do something dramatic. And you said naga or mer creature so picked mer for mermay.

I included a snippet of what is happening in the art below for some context.

Tommy, Willbur and Phil go on vacation to a little costal town. But end up getting kidnapped by a cult and are sacrificed to what the cult thinks is a god. (Aka Techno) he’s not a god but is a very powerful giant mer. His gotten tired of the humans trying to feed him other humans. (He says humans taste bad) so now there’s a horrible storm and Phil and his sons are stuck on a cliff after being left there. And Techno shows up knowing the humans will be washed away by the waves as the storm gets worse. He’s mostly just grumpy he has to save more humans but the human are terrified of the angry “god” in front of them. If you look closer you can see Tommy in Techno’s hand flipping him off.

86 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey if your in mcyt g/t fandom reblog this or something so I can try and follow everyone lol

106 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false #Well my top tag is just calling me out that’s mean

[themirokai]

I posted 7,898 times in 2022

That's 5,439 more posts than 2021!

298 posts created (4%)

7,600 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@managerie76

@gloriesunsung

@/caspercryptid

@argylepiratewd

@oodlyenough

I tagged 5,497 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#arcane - 1,074 posts

#the sandman netflix - 575 posts

#jayvik - 442 posts

#viktor - 260 posts

#the sandman - 246 posts

#dream of the endless - 245 posts

#doctor who - 226 posts

#dreamling - 205 posts

#star wars - 176 posts

#jayce talis - 135 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#and because i had a public-facing job when i got married and the fact that i got married was only of the business of people i wanted to tell

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ok so listen… here is what is breaking my poor bisexual brain about Arcane.

These two…

And them…

See the full post

305 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#4

Hey would you like a little Dreamling ficlet? Sure you would...

(Probably in the same universe as The Century Gentleman but you don't need to have read that one... though of course I hope you will.)

Update: This is now on Ao3!

Hob rubbed his eyes in an attempt both to clear his blurring vision and chase away the headache that had been building for the last 20 minutes. He reread the paragraph he had just written and sighed. He was no Shakespeare, a treacherous internal voice reminded him. 

“Come to me.”

That voice was also in his head but it definitely did not belong to him. 

“I can’t, Dream,” he murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I’m busy.”

“You are exhausted and your head aches.”

“Yes,” Hob acknowledged to the empty room, “and that doesn’t change the fact that I need to convince university administration not to cut the history department’s budget.” 

“What does it matter? You said yourself that you only have a few years left in this place.”

“It matters,” Hob grumbled around the catch of annoyance in his throat, “because it’s not about me. It’s about some kid who has their eyes opened to the context of the problems of the world because of a well-taught history class. It’s about a kid who decides to devote their life to making the world a better place because their history professor inspired them.” 

“All the more reason, then, for you to tackle this when you’re better rested.” Dream’s tone had gentled. “Come to me.” 

Hob heaved a deep sigh and waited, but did not feel the familiar change in the atmosphere that signaled when Dream had crossed into the waking world. 

“You’re not coming to ‘Sandman’ me?” he asked after a moment. 

“I will if you like, but it seems unnecessary. If you go to bed you will be asleep in minutes. I will be waiting.” 

Hob heaved another sigh, then turned off his computer and went to brush his teeth. 

Hob felt like he had just closed his eyes when a thin white hand was reaching for him. He took the hand in his own and felt himself being pulled, both towards Dream and into a deep sleep. 

And then he was in Dream’s arms, his face pressed against his lover’s chest. Dream smelled of cold night air, and his skin was cool as always, but his solidity was a comfort. 

“I am glad you came,” Dream said softly. 

Hob looked up at him, and then up some more. Dream’s physical manifestation always varied in the Dreaming. Tonight he was well over six feet tall, skin gleaming white, black hair floating wildly around his head, and eyes of midnight shining with twin stars. Hob smiled up at him and was met with an answering smile that was incongruously warm on such an imposing figure. 

Dream cupped Hob’s cheek in his large hand and ran a thumb gently under his eye. 

“I do not like it when you suffer,” Dream said. 

Hob chuckled. “This isn’t suffering, love. I’ve been through suffering. This is just a headache.”

“I do not wish for you to be in any amount of pain.” Dream frowned. “And this… budget cut… has upset you.” 

Hob turned his head to kiss Dream’s palm, then smiled up at him. “I’m starting to think that I’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.” 

He blinked as Dream shrunk down so that they were once again the same height. 

“I intend to make sure of that,” Dream murmured as he leaned forward to kiss Hob’s lips.

328 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#3

Um my hand slipped and I wrote 930 words of Matthew being the very best raven a sad emo bastard of a dream lord could ask for. 

Matthew wasn’t entirely sure how he navigated the Palace of the Dreaming. It wasn’t like the rooms stayed the same or like the rooms that were almost always there (the Library for example) stayed in the same place. He wasn’t even sure that they had a place as it were. 

But if Matthew thought about where he wanted to go and started flying, usually he got there. 

Lord Morpheus was easy to find in the Dreaming. He had a gravitational pull, like the entire realm was being gently drawn towards him at all times. All Matthew had to do was follow the current and eventually he would end up on the Dream King’s shoulder. 

He thought sometimes about how Jessamy must have felt, separated from that comforting current for decades. It made his feathers stand on end and made him grip Lord Morpheus’s shoulder a little tighter with his talons. It wasn’t at all surprising to Matthew that Jessamy gave her life trying to free Lord Morpheus. He was certain that if he was in her shoes (well, not shoes, birds don’t wear shoes) he would have done the same.

Matthew stood in front of the door and cocked his head, looking at it. Lord Morpheus was on the other side of the door, Matthew could feel his pull. He had been Somewhere Else, not the Dreaming or the waking world, and hadn’t taken Matthew, which had Matthew’s feathers a bit ruffled. But now he was back in the Dreaming and Matthew wanted to go to him. Just to check in. See if he needed anything. Make sure he was ok. And so he had started following the pull but ended up in front of this closed door. 

He hadn’t reached a closed door before. Usually walls and doors in the Palace just kind of became insubstantial as he approached them. Maybe this one meant that Lord Morpheus wanted to be alone? Maybe it meant that something was wrong? Matthew considered going to check with Lucienne but what if something was wrong now? What if it would be more wrong in the time it took him to find Lucienne and come back? What if Lucienne would be horrified that Matthew hadn’t tried - really tried - to get to Lord Morpheus? 

Matthew took a breath, pictured Lord Morpheus, and pushed -

He tumbled beak over tail feathers into the room. 

Matthew got to his feet and shook his feathers back into place, then looked around. Lord Morpheus was sitting on a cushion on the floor in the corner of the room, knees drawn up to his chest. He looked far more like a wet cat than the mighty king of a realm, even though he was in his human form. Matthew hopped a little closer. 

“Uh, Boss?” 

Lord Morpheus raised his head. His eyes were black with stars in them but still looked wet and shimmering. 

“Matthew?” 

“Hey,” Matthew hopped up to his feet, “are you ok?”’

Lord Morpheus ran his hand over his face then shifted to sit with his legs crossed in front of him. “I am… ok. I was speaking with my sister, Despair. As always it was a trying experience.” 

“Do - uh - do you want me to leave you alone? You had the door closed…” 

“No.” The answer came much faster than Matthew was expecting. “No, I find I would be glad of the company.” 

Warmed by this, Matthew hopped up onto Lord Morpheus’s knee. “Siblings, huh?” 

“Did you have siblings, Matthew?” He rested his head against the wall behind him. 

“A little sister,” Matthew replied with a shake of his feathers. “She was a pain in the ass. Not the anthropomorphic personification of despair, mind you, but certainly not pleasant.” 

Lord Morpheus chuckled softly and reached out to stroke the back of his index finger over the feathers of Matthew’s chest. 

That… huh. That felt really good. Matthew leaned into the contact and Lord Morpheus kept stroking. 

“So what did Despair want?” 

“The usual,” Lord Morpheus huffed, “to goad me. Under the guise of ‘catching up’ of course.” 

“Do you think Desire put her up to it?” 

“It is possible. But Despair hardly needs encouragement. She hates me just as much as her twin does, though she is generally less devious in her ways of showing it.” 

“Why do they hate you so much?” 

“Our realms are close together but I exceed them in power. Death and Destiny are too remote to provoke their ire, but I am near enough to inspire jealousy and competition.” 

“Why do you talk to them then if they just bring you grief?” 

See the full post

591 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

#2

With the announcement of season 2 my fellow dreamling shippers understand that the ship is not going to become canon right?

Hob will show up in season 2, Sturridge and Kingsley will probably have the incredible chemistry that got us all into this ship, and what will be on the screen is a completely platonic friendship.

And when that happens people are not going to complain and send Neil horrible asks, right?

Because dreamling is awesome and it is ours. The ship belongs to the fans. If we want content of it then we have to make it and support the fans who are making it.

It’s not going to be canon, and you know what? That’s awesome! Because it belongs to us and we can make it whatever we want.

There is already so much incredible art and fic out there. Let’s make more and let’s tell the people who make it that we love it.

Dreamling is ours.

684 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey friends. Do this:

This probably took this person 3 seconds to do but it immediately told me that they liked my story enough to come back and read it again and they liked it again the second time.

Your favorite writers Do Not Know that you think about their stories after you read them. I generally assume that my stories make people happy for the few minutes they’re reading and then they never think about it again. To know that that’s not the case and that someone has returned just makes my little heart swell with joy.

I needed this today. If you’re the person who left this comment (or if you’ve ever commented on any of my writing) I love you.

29,288 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#nice to see that almost all of my most reblogged from people are lovely mutuals #& I am purposely not tagging the one blog who doesn’t follow me #BUT if I’m on YOUR list and I don’t follow you #please leave me tagged! #the longest tag was so long in part because of a typo #this also kept a LOT of length of my story posts #so should probably tag #long post #it’s possible that post number 1 will hit 30k by the end of the year #but the velocity has reduced #this was fun! #whaddaya got friends? #tumblr2022 #my 2022 tumblr year in review #year in review #your tumblr year in review

[nytehavyn-circle]

I posted 4,811 times in 2022

That's 4,444 more posts than 2021!

921 posts created (19%)

3,890 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wilwheaton

@akindplace

@liberalsarecool

@walkerofclouds

@naughtynecromancer

I tagged 1,915 of my posts in 2022

#ooc - 714 posts

#naughtynecromancer - 177 posts

#tolaas x mori - 168 posts

#the cowboy vampire and his fae queen - 112 posts

#meme - 105 posts

#elektranon - 93 posts

#lilahemorgan - 81 posts

#spike - 61 posts

#politics - 54 posts

#visage - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#and when i run out of food stamps i use our bishop's warehouse. the selection of food isn't great but it's still food

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

‘i licked you so you’re mine now’

Tolaas glanced at her, then looked down at his arm, then looked up at her and started laughing. "Really? That's how yer gonna try ta claim me? Yer the first one that's ever licked me ta try ta stake a claim."

@elemental-surprise

62 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#4

Eve grinned seeing Terran reading in front of her, slipping off her shoes, she did her best to sneak up on him, vanishing in violet flames and reappearing in his lap with no flames this time. Wriggling playfully in his lap to get comfortable, she smiled. "Hi." She greeted him.

Terran's book was basically knocked out of his hands and onto the floor when Eve "poofed" into his lap. He glanced forlorn at the book on the floor, pouting, but smiled warmly at Eve and wrapped his arms around her. "Hi, Pet," he said, then kissed her softly. "What are you up to today, my dear?"

@bxrningambitions

77 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#3

Tolaas was walking down the street, handin the pockets of his duster, just minding his own business and thinking about things. HE was currently in an alternate New York, where he had followed a ShadowDemon and finally disposed of it.

Now that that was overwith, here he was just wandering.

In the short distance, Tolaas recognized somebody. "Harley!" he exclaimed, forgetting for the moment that this wasn't his Harley, this wasn't the Harley he knew.

He hadn't seen her ina year and had recently been thinking about her. HEnce the excitement when he saw "her".

"Harley!" he exclaimed again and rushed up to her. Quicly, he picked her up in his arms and kissed her deep. Finally, he broke the kiss and stood her down... and it finally dawned on him after a quick look at her aura.

"Oh shit," he muttered. ":My gods, I'm so sorry..."

@thejestersiren

101 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#2

"Did I mention you missed my birthday, and Christmas and Valentines day? We have a lot of time to make up for, a lot of celebrating." She asked him with a small smile, she had gifts for him and a nice steak dinner planned. "Can I steal you?" She asked him, looking up at him sweetly.

Tolaas smirked at stared at her. "Yeah, yeah," he chuckled. "Well, the last year... I missed a lotta stuff fer a lotta people..." He nodded. "Sure, I ain't got nothing planned taday. Where ya takin' me?" he asked.

@naughtynecromancer

103 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

(Open)

(Open to new interactions)

Tolaas was at the venue that night, for amateur night. Throughout his life, Tolaas had mastered any type of song that could be sung, mastered the guitar. Though he wasn't an amateur, he always played amateur nights so he wouldn't really be recognized or anything as such. He preferred to stay out of the public eye where his talents were concerned.

He was in the public eye enough when he was out Hunting or doing jobs. Luckily Terran managed to keep his hidden afterward and out of the eyes and thoughts of the local police.

But tonight was for fun. The stage was nice and had a full band, so Tolaas would be able to showcase his strumming and his voice with full accompaniment.

He applauded and whistled for the woman who had come before him. She sang a rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful". And it matched the woman's voice. It was amazing. It really moved Tolaas.

Now, it was his turn. He stepped onto the stage and swung his guitar around. He introduced himself and strummed a few chords. He said he was going to sing "Little Black Dress" by Jace Everett.

In front of the mic, Tolaas began the song, with the band backing him the whole time.

124 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[kimium]

I posted 3,042 times in 2022

236 posts created (8%)

2,806 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@someobscurereference

@lonery-w

@m34gs

@eggvvithlegs

@sephirothsfattiddies

I tagged 2,978 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#personal - 305 posts

#twisted wonderland - 280 posts

#jujutsu kaisen - 241 posts

#fire emblem heroes - 220 posts

#fire emblem three houses - 145 posts

#writing - 119 posts

#replies - 114 posts

#video - 112 posts

#danganronpa 2 - 87 posts

#spy x family - 79 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i love all of these but especially the byakuya one where he can watch the noble house of kuchiki grumble but be able to do nothing about it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Chapters: 1/1 Summary:

One Shot. Mild Game Spoilers (up to Book 5). POV shift between the House Leaders.

"Cast? Like the cast in a movie? How did that relate to medical treatment? Riddle stared at their wrist. “What’s a cast?”

“Huh?” Yuu stared before snorting under their breath. “Oh, it’s basically something that immobilizes broken bones to help them heal correctly. They’re very itchy.”

Riddle tried to picture healing without magic. He eyed Yuu, his brain helpfully reminding him that their world didn’t have magic. Or at least that’s what he gathered from Ace and Deuce’s gossiping over their twice a week Sunday brunch. How did Yuu’s world manage?"

In where every house leader of every dorm has an interaction with Yuu that boils down to "What the Heck is -insert mundane thing Yuu thought was universal but apparently doesn't exist in Twisted Wonderland-?"

~

Wow! Would you look at that? A fic for a new fandom? 

Hello everyone! I decided to write a one shot for Twisted Wonderland. Consider this a sort of experiment for me to get used to writing new characters. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy this fic too.

14 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

#4

Chapters: 1/1 Summary:

One shot. Modern AU. No Despair AU. Soulmate AU: You fold a certain number of origami whatever (cranes, hearts, etc.) and once you fold enough you'll meet your soulmate.

“I know, but you don’t have to repeat the same argument. I don’t mind if you try folding origami.”

Fuyuhiko grunted eyes widening, as though Peko had slapped him across the face. He scrambled towards her, closing the distance and touched Peko’s hand. Peko swallowed but turned her palm so they could lace their fingers together. Fuyuhiko softly sighed and tightened his grip.

“I’ve been saying this since I was six,” he slowly said. “I don’t need to fold origami to find my soulmate. You’re my soulmate. I know this with all my heart. Everyone says I’m childish, I’m misguided, or I’ll come around, but they’re wrong. My father is just too stubborn to see the truth.”

Fuyuhiko has gone through life confidently knowing and proclaiming Peko is his soulmate. Peko and the rest of the family (read: Fuyuhiko's parents) aren't as confident. Don't worry, Fuyuhiko shows them he's right. (Which of course he is.)

~

Hello everyone! Originally I was trying to find inspiration for a Komahina fic but instead I felt this soulmate prompt fit KuzuPeko better. It’s been a year since I wrote a KuzuPeko focus fic and that needed to change. Also I wrote them soft and sweet because that’s the only way my brain wants to comprehend KuzuPeko. 

As for this AU I am in love with the idea that Character A is So Confident they’re going to be with Character B that they refuse to believe other wise (and are right). I think that’s a delightful source of comedy (and is a honest to goodness Power Move).

I hope you like this fic. Please let me know!!!

15 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#3

Chapters: 1/2 Summary:

One shot. Post SDR2. Mermaid!Komaeda.

“You also haven’t had a chance to swim. I don’t mind cleaning up on my own. Go have fun.”

Komaeda smiled and tugged on his white and blue hoodie. “Thanks, but that’s not necessary; I can’t swim.” His tone was matter of fact."

A SDR2 fic where everything is the same except Komaeda is a mermaid. (Komaeda lies, Hajime finds out, they get together in the end.)

~

Hello everyone! I’ve had water-related supernatural beings on the brain this week so I wrote this fic in a feverish writing frenzy. There are more tags in the fic and there will be a second chapter in Komaeda’s POV. I hope you enjoy this fic. Let me know!

17 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

#2

Chapters: 1/1 Summary:

One shot. Modern AU. Soulmate AU: Soulmates can taste whatever the other is eating/drinking.

"Unwrapping his sandwich, Nagito took a bite and instantly gagged as the slightly bitter taste of coffee with a hint of sugar hit his tongue. Discreetly he managed to swallow before reaching for his water. It soothed his coughing but the taste strongly lingered, as if he was drinking the coffee himself."

Perhaps, next time, Nagito and Hajime should coordinate their lunch breaks. (It all started with an umeboshi that was, in polite terms, an abomination.)

~

Hello everyone! I spent an hour yesterday trying to figure out what to write and came up with nothing. Today I just scrolled through a master soulmate AU post and picked this one. I picked it because I took one (1) look and said “Wow, that sounds like a disaster” and thought it would be fun to explore. I hope you enjoy this quick one shot! Please let me know!

18 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Congrats on getting everyone in the Valentine's banner! I also got lucky and managed to get them all, and feel your pain about Chrom taking forever to come home- he also took so long to arrive for me as well.

Thank you!!! I'm glad you managed to snag everyone too!

Oh no! Duo Chrom also took forever for you!! That sucks! But, at least we both ended up pulling him! :)

30 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[johnmalevolent]

I posted 10,520 times in 2022

That's 7,722 more posts than 2021!

293 posts created (3%)

10,227 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@princess-of-purple-prose

@ashes-in-a-jar

@m-e-w-666

@welcometogrouchland

@loverboybrightsideghost

I tagged 4,603 of my posts in 2022

#tma - 968 posts

#q - 187 posts

#fave - 172 posts

#malevolent - 103 posts

#ofmd - 89 posts

#for later - 85 posts

#scopo - 81 posts

#my art - 78 posts

#srb - 47 posts

#eyestrain - 44 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#1) out of respect for the man 2) because his name is skinner and what were they doing at that factory that he did not notice nor give a shi

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

everything works out and they end up somewhere else

[ID: Digital art of Jon Sims and Martin Blackwood. Jon is a British Indian man with long greying hair, wearing a purple shirt. Martin is a Filipino man with a greying mullet, wearing a grey-violet-red-dark purple striped sweater. Jon is smiling contently with his eyes closed and both arms wrapped around Martin's shoulder. Martin is hugging him, also smiling contently. /End ID]

547 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

where would we be without martin blackwood. thank you martin blackwood

557 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

#3

[ID: A traditional sketch of Jon and Martin. Jon wraps his arms around Martin ‘s neck from behind and presses his face to Martin’s, smiling softly and blushing. Martin closes his eyes in contentment and leans back, also blushing. In the background is a cut-off drawing of someone, possibly Martin, kissing someone else with a flush. End ID] (ID by @princess-of-purple-prose)

a small jmart. i love you. have a nice day

616 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

#2

[ID: Digital art of Jon Sims from The Magnus Archives colored in green. Jon is an Indian man with a beard and long hair, wearing a shirt under a sweater vest. He's parting the curtains separating a bright room with light behind him from the darker room he's facing, staring coldly at the viewers. There's a handwritten white text at the center of the image that says "statement remains." End ID]

how are we folks

807 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[ID: Uncolored digital drawing of Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives with black background. Jon has shoulder length wavy hair and two half-opened eyes on both cheeks. He's wearing a shirt under a loose jumper. Around his head are eyes forming a circle. There are texts on his left and right, the left one reads "It's me I'm the PS5." the right one reads "speaking to you inside your brain." end ID]

pov this guy haunts your dreams wyd

2,011 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #LOVE how Malevolent is on the 4th place despite me only listening to it in august #nvm just realized august-november is a very long time #WAIT ITS DECEMBER NOW FUCK #my longest tag is a prev tag.... thats not right #ive reached tag limit several times. #gif #scopo #long post #also 10520... i Need to get off tumblr #unreality #ps5 meme

[bunnywritesmarvel]

I posted 6,327 times in 2022

That's 6,229 more posts than 2021!

3,104 posts created (49%)

3,223 posts reblogged (51%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bunnywritesmarvel

@qveenrhaenyra

@commander-vas-normandy

@mothdruid

I tagged 3,880 of my posts in 2022

Only 39% of my posts had no tags

#bunny answers - 1,204 posts

#frank castle - 473 posts

#frank castle x reader - 456 posts

#frank castle thirst - 416 posts

#bunny talks - 411 posts

#matt murdock x reader - 407 posts

#matt murdock - 396 posts

#matt murdock thirst - 381 posts

#frank castle smut - 354 posts

#matt murdock smut - 338 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#literally just the sweetest fucking person ever and i love them so much and im so glad i met them through here and the discord server 🥺🥺🥺

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

#7 with Eddie Munson??

7. “You can take it.”

18+, minors dni! by clicking 'read more' you agree you are 18+ years of age and i hold no responsibility for your media consumption.

reblogs welcomed and encouraged!

eddie hushed you softly as you whined, face buried in his shoulder as his fingers made quick work against your clit.

"i know baby, i know, just one more, yeah?" he spoke against your skin, peppering kisses wherever he could reach.

"eddie, i cant~" you whimpered, trying to close your legs despite him holding them open.

"yes you can, you can take it, honey." he chuckled, teeth digging into your shoulder as he slipped his fingers in, pressing them right against the little sweet spot deep inside you.

your thighs jumped, leaning your head back as you clung to him, pitiful whines leaving you breathlessly.

"fuck, you sound so pretty." he purred against your neck, thumb pressing against your clit as you squeezed around him.

"'m gonna cum!" you panted, eyes squeezed closed as he pumped his fingers faster.

"go ahead, be good for me, make a mess." he whispered against your cheek, thumb stroking your clit as your legs trembled.

1,426 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

#4

i. “you've never been kissed?”

See the full post

1,722 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

#3

for all those new to tumblr; tumblr doesnt have an algorithm. the only way for content creators to spread their work is through their followers reblogging it.

1,814 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

#2

prey || F.C.

See the full post

2,054 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

calling eddie by his name instead of the usual 'babe' or 'baby' and he thinks hes in trouble

you wandered into yours and eddies room, staring down at the assembly instructions of the coffee table you had just bought.

"hey, eddie, i know i said i could do this myself but can you help me real quick?" you asked, not looking up from the paper.

you missed the way he tensed, quickly setting aside his guitar and making his way to you.

"uh... yeah, of course."

"great!" you headed back into the living room of your new home, eyes still scanning the words on the page. "i cant get this tightened down enough, and i dont want it to be all wobbly and uneven."

eddie nodded, uncharacteristically quiet as he mulled over the day in his head. maybe you really did want him to help and he just didnt pick up on the signals? he forgot to put gas in the van and you had to go and do it, but you brought him back a snack from inside, surely you werent mad at him about that? shit, what was the date?

"you okay, love?" you laughed softly, waving your hand in front of his face to snap him back to reality.

"did i... did i do something wrong?" he asked, and the hurt puppy dog look on his face made your heart melt.

"what? no, baby, what makes you say that?" you set the paper down, handing him the little hex key that came with the table. "this one right here."

he didnt look at you, a little embarrassed at being so anxious over such a small thing, instead focusing on tightening the little screw keeping the leg in place.

"you called me eddie."

"...isnt that your name?" you laughed softly, not quite understanding.

"well yeah, but you never call me eddie." he set the key down after tightening it, taking the other screw you handed to him and placing it in the hole, tightening it with his fingers as much as he could before going back to the key.

you thought for a moment, trying to recall the last time you called him by his actual name.

"huh. i guess i dont." you laughed, grabbing his hand to get his attention. "did you think i was mad at you?"

"yes!" he sounded exasperated and you laughed more. "i thought i forgot our anniversary or something, fuck. i was freaking out!"

you snorted through your laughter causing eddie to grin.

"no! jesus, im sorry baby. im not mad, i promise."

he laughed in relief, shaking his head before leaning over the little coffee table to kiss your head.

"im glad. had me scared for a minute."

4,362 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[lgcrp]

     ◔ ┈ LOADING … TRAINEE PROFILE INITIATED !

BUI WREN ( READ MORE HERE )

AGE 18 ( 22 FEBRUARY 2004 )

TRAINED FOR 6 MONTHS ( SIGNED JULY 2022 )

            INTRODUCTION VIDEO FOUND … PRESS PLAY ?

a girl stands with a guitar strap across her chest and cozy looking sweater underneath it. the outfit choice was a conscious decision, she knew style and aesthetic were an important part of this industry, so she thought her outfit should fit the style of her song. plus, it was winter time when she filmed and she hoped this would be released close to when she was filming this, so her outfit fit the season.

the girl bows and introduces, "hi! i am wren bui. i am first year trainee, and right now i hope....” her hands rub anxiously at the side of her thighs. she’s nervous. “to become a songwriter and singer. maybe more! who knows” she laughs, it’s awkward, but possibly cute? “today, i will be singing sweet nothing by taylor swift...sunbaenim” her korean still sounded awkward and foreign as she spoke. hence why she chose an english song--that she had been obsessed with since it’s release--she could focus on showing off skills rather than whether her pronunciation sounded right. she wanted her talent to be the focus.

“please enjoy.” she ended her introduction section and swung the guitar around so it now rest in her arms at the front. as she placed her hands in the appropriate spots, she had to remind herself she could do this--she wanted to do this. all of the performances and cameras sounded good--right until she had actually face them. but it took practice, she told herself. while she had looked awkward and slightly scared when she stood, a guitar in her hands was comfortable and familiar. she had played and sung countless times in that very position, so she could rest a little easier before she began playing.

the first few chords rang through softly as her fingers danced along the neck. she let herself sink into the music. it was a soft song, about a close and precious love. while she had never experienced anything like the romance described, she found herself relating it to her relationship with music. it was safe, comforting, and hers. not a dream of her parents or anyone but herself. she could always return home to it. whether it was writing or singing or just listening to her favorite artists, it was always there for her. she let her head bob and sway to the music as she played and sang.

once finished, she stood up again and addressed the camera directly. with the performance finished, she could let herself smile into the camera. “wasn’t that sweet?” god, that was cheesy she thought as soon as she said it. her cheeks began to turn pink as she said it. “i hope you enjoyed...bye!” she waved the camera goodbye. when she thought the video was cut, she sighed with relief and let her eyes fall down to her feet. “phew” she mumbled to herself.

         INTERESTED ? REACH OUT TO THE TRAINEE !

#pham hanni #newjeans #lgc:accepted

[mishkatelwarriorgoddess]

I posted 935 times in 2022

That's 217 more posts than 2021!

12 posts created (1%)

923 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thefallenbibliophilequote

@dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

@hellolovelyscientist

@writingamongther0ses

@bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

I tagged 64 of my posts in 2022

#fluffy bucky - 3 posts

#soft bucky - 3 posts

#subject notes - 2 posts

#reblog reply - 2 posts

#soft dean - 2 posts

#supernatural - 2 posts

#mcu - 2 posts

#mental health - 2 posts

#abbot and costello vs fairies - 1 post

#who's on first - 1 post

Longest Tag: 67 characters

#i am not a gary gygax bimbo barbarian babe but i played one for d&d

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Peace and love

To all the teachers who either have or are about to go back into their classrooms, may this school year be peaceful for you all. May your students show you some love and respect. And may you have a great year!

5 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#4

Music of the Night

Pairing: JBB X F!Reader, other Avengers mentioned and s specific villain

A/N: Here is the version of the song that I am using as inspiration. I am a Phantom fan from when I was originally away from home at college in 1987 (yes, I know I'm old...don't care!). Came across this version tonight/today and this bubbled out. Enjoy!

Word Count: 735

You woke up and looked around to see that there was a fog around you. You heard rustling behind you and turned to look who was there. You saw someone with their face partly hidden with a mask.

Oh great, you thought. You're in another one of your dream. Just wake up. Just wake up.

But when you opened your eyes again, you were still there.

"Oh Christine, don't you see..."

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation.

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.

Silently the senses abandon their defenses...

You reached for the man, even though you couldn't see who it was. You KNEW that you cared for him; maybe even loved him, if you could just see his face.

He continued to sing and mesmerize you. You stood and he slowly circled you as he continued to sing until he stood behind you.

Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor.

Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender.

Turn your face away from the garish light of day.

Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light.

And listen to the music of the night.

You felt his hand take yours, and something felt...familiar. Shivers ran up your spine as his hand ran up your side to your face, and then down to your throat. The grip he had on your throat was tight enough to keep you in place, but not enough to hurt. You heard something softly in your ear...was it gears??? Where had you heard that before? You couldn't think about anything except the hard muscles of the man's chest and his hold his voice and body had on you.

Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before

Let your soul take you where you long to be

Only then can you belong to me.

You were breathing ragged breaths as he held you and spun you around to face him. You breathed in and smelled it...bergamot, cinnamon, mint. Your eyes flew open!

"James...." you whispered.

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication

Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation

let the dream begin let your darker side give in

to the power of the music that I write

The power of the music of the night

See the full post

10 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

Beautiful

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 799

Warnings: angst, sadness, feelings of worthlessness hinted at

A/N: After I read @shurisneakers Reform, this song came to mind. Reform just reminds me that we all need that 1 person in our lives who will be there for us, when we need their help but don’t know how to ask for it, and won’t judge us for being who we are. Thank you for being who you are Ari; kind, wonderful, and beautiful.

Breathe in. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Let it go. You could almost hear your therapist’s voice telling you that everything would be okay. Yeah, things are NOT okay. Not by a long-shot.

You felt him behind you more than you heard or saw him. He had become somewhat of a fixture around you lately. Not that having the former Winter Soldier as your best friend was bad. In fact, it was pretty awesome. Although he would never admit it.

“What’s wrong Doll?” he whispered as he gently turned you around. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“The voices, they’re just -” you took in a short breath, “I’ve tried everything I can think of and they just won’t be quiet.” You played with the hem of the shirt you’d ‘borrowed’ from him a few weeks ago as you shrugged.

He gently put his hands, one warm and one cool, on either side of your face and started to tilt it to look at you. You wiggled out of his hands and just hung your head while you felt the white hot tears stream down your face.

“Why can’t I just be normal?” you whispered. You weren’t sure that he had heard you, until he crushed you to his chest.

“Why would you want that Doll?” you felt it more than heard it. His chest rumbled, even when he was being quiet. It seemed like even though his voice understood how to be quiet, the rest of him had trouble with it sometimes. You felt him kiss the top of your head.

You finally decided to sneak a look at him through your lashes. You could see the worry etched on his face, it was heartbreaking. It just made you feel even worse. Here was an Adonis of a man that was holding and comforting YOU, when he surely had better things to be doing on a crisp, clear, late Spring evening.

“Why do you even care, Bucky?” you sniffled.

He looked at you like you’d landed a punch to his gut. He took your hand and walked backward until he sat on the edge of your bed and you were standing between his legs. He placed his hands on either side of your hips, and you used his shoulders to help ground you.

“There’s this song that I know. It talks about how words don’t mean anything. I bet you might know it.” He has that wonderful smirk on his face, where only one side of his mouth is turned up and he’s acting kind of shy. It’s one of the things you love about him. He knows exactly how to get through to you, and he’s always happy to be there for you.

“I might. Do you know who sings it?” and he starts to hum the tune for you. You give him a slight laugh. “Yeah, I know it. Give me a sec. FRIDAY, play Beautiful by Christina Agulera.”

“Gladly miss.” And you begin to hear the piano playing. You start to hum along with the music.

Every day is so wonderful

Then suddenly it's hard to breathe

Now and then I get insecure

From all the pain

I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no

So don't you bring me down today....

You just feel strong arms around your waist and feel Bucky nuzzling into your hair. “Keep singing Doll. You got this.” he whispers. You squeeze his arms and continue singing.

See the full post

10 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#2

Open Up Your Loving Arms

Pairing: Dean X F!Reader

Word Count: 455

Summary: You need to hit a certain green-eyed hunter over the head to get him to notice you.

A/N: Okay, I'm semi-addicted to watching the Voice global on YouTube. The inspiration for this version came while I was watching and can be found here. I hope you enjoy!

Sam was helping you out with things, so you knew that they'd be here at the bar for listening to the band, who you just happened to be friends with because the lead singer was your sister; you just hoped that you wouldn't chicken out!

You saw them come in the door and head to the bar. Sam looked around and happened to see you standing in the wings and gave you a thumbs up. 'Okay, you can do this.' you whispered to yourself.

The bass started strumming along, and you came out on stage to whoops and hollers from the guys that were in the bar. "Thank you everyone. I'd like to dedicate this song to a special someone who just happened to show up tonight. De, this one's for you!" You pointed straight towards him, and he looked at you with his jaw dropped and eyes a little incredulous at how you looked.

"Dean, dude. Close your mouth. You're starting to drool." Sam joked with him.

"Hold my beer Sam." is all he said, as he made his way toward the stage.

I gotta know your name

And I get your private number baby....

You were looking straight at Dean as he wove his way through the crowd to the edge of the stage. He looked like he was a hunter all right, but he was looking at you like you were his prey. His eyes never left you the whole time you sang.

All I know is that to me

You look like you're lots of fun

Open up your loving arms

Watch out here I come

You stooped down to tap him on the nose as you continued to sing. He tried to reach for you, but you always made sure you were just out of reach each time....

Until you started singing

I'd like to move in just a little bit closer!

That was when Dean took things into his own hands. When you bent down that time he grabbed your wrist to bring you on to the floor with the crowd. He wrapped you in his arms as you turned your back to him so you'd be able to finish the song.

All I know is that to me

You look like you're lots of fun

Open up your loving arms

Watch out..

"You'll be coming tonight when we get back to the bunker." he whispered in your ear. You ALMOST lost your place in the song. But you were able to finish to the song to the thunderous applause of everyone around you.

"Well, I guess we have a lot to talk about, huh?" he said as he planted a kiss to my lips and spun me around!

Tags: @dailyreverie @navybrat817 @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

@msmarvelwrites @shurisneakers

13 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Pain and Comfort

Pairing: Bucky X F!Reader, other Avengers mentioned

Word Count: 1154

A/N and Summary: I just needed to have a certain super soldier give the reader a little comfort.

Sitting in YOUR window seat in the common room, you hold on to the hot tea in your hands a little tighter. It's 5 o-freakin'-clock in the morning, and it looked like you weren't going to get any more sleep today. It's that time between Christmas and your birthday, when no one seems to notice you or how you're doing right now.

Well, that wouldn't be totally accurate, if you thought about it - which you couldn't at the moment. At the moment, you were up battling another bout of pain that didn't want to go away. Some of it was physical, but it was mostly mental this time.

This pain wouldn't go away any time soon. Sighing, you finished your tea and went to go wash your mug in the sink. After you put it in the strainer to dry, you walked back down to your room to change into some warmer clothes so you could go outside and not freeze to death. You picked out some fleece lined leggings that Natasha had bought for you, a lightweight turtle-neck, and your favorite red Henley that you had borrowed from someone.

You grabbed your boots and socks and left to go finished getting ready in the living area. You put down your boots and pulled up the socks as you watched the snow drift down past the windows. Everything outside looked pristine and angelic, quite the opposite of how you were feeling at this time. You sighed and started to lace up your boots, when you heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Morning doll." Bucky yawned as he walked past you in just his sleep pants and nothing else. You didn't even say anything to him, and that caused him to stop what he was doing and come join you on the couch.

"Where you going all bundled up? Everything okay?" he asked, and you could hear the concern in his voice.

You continued to lace up your boots, and just shrugged your shoulders in response. You knew if you started talking right now, you wouldn't stop and the tears would probably fall along with the words. That wasn't what you wanted right now. Right now you just wanted to go outside and FEEL, even if it meant feeling cold.

"Hey, just give me a minute and I'll go with you. You don't gotta talk or anything, I just don't want you alone is all. Be right back, doll." He kissed the top of your head as he jogged back to his room to change. You took advantage of the fact that he'd be a couple of minutes and started walking up the stairwell to the rooftop.

Like you thought, it was cold outside, but not totally unbearable. Plus, as you walked over to the outside kitchen area....YES! It was still there, you were able to find the bottle of liquid courage that you had hidden last time you were up here alone. You knew that you'd be back at some point and time, and if it was found by any of the others you'd just replace it.

You heard the door open and close and then Bucky calling softly for you. "Y/N? Are you up here? Oh there you are doll." He rounded the corner and found you with your back to him, which allowed you to swallow the amber liquid before turning around to face him.

"Hey, what's going on in that pretty head of yours, huh? Why so quiet? That's not like you, doll. You need to talk?"

"No, I need to drink right now is what I need to do." You stated as you took another swig from the bottle. As you brought it down, he took it out of your hands and screwed the cap back on.

"Do you think that's such a good idea? Come on doll, talk to me. Please?" He gave you the biggest blue puppy dog eyes that you had ever seen.

"Damn you Barnes, you should NOT be able to look so adorable with how lethal you are, ya know?" The laugh that escaped your lips, however, did not sound like you were amused. It sounded to your super solder bestie that you were holding in something, but he didn't know what.

"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours Y/N?" he prodded. "You holdin' back on me?" He carefully reached out a hand to you and waited for you to take it.

You looked at his hand, all black and gold, power and gentleness. Looking up at his face, with his chiseled jaw and hair that's grown out some; you breathed in and reached for him, this lifeline that you were being given.

As he slowly pulled you to his chest, he just held you. He didn't press you for talking about whatever was bothering you. He figured that if you wanted to talk you would.

He kissed the top of your head and rocked on his feet. He started humming, and it reverberated through his chest.

"What 'cha singin' there soldier?" you asked as you looked up at him through damp eyelashes.

"Just somethin' my ma used to sing to my sister and me whenever we were down. Don't remember what it's called anymore, but it was always something I'd hum when I was in HYDRA too."

You couldn't believe he was opening up to you about something from the time that he was controlled by HYDRA. You just lay your head back on his chest and allowed his warmth to help calm you down.

"Thanks Buck. Can we go back in now? I'm starting to get a little cold now." you asked as you started to move.

"Sure doll." as he picked you up and carried you inside. He expected you to complain, but was pleasantly surprised when you didn't. He put you down on the couch as carefully as he could, but you still winced.

"How long you been in pain? Snow's not supposed to let up for at least a day."

"Well then, I guess I'll have to keep my favorite super soldier close by to be my personal heating pad until this storm rolls through." you sassed but couldn't bring yourself to look at him in case he didn't want to.

"Sounds like a plan." as you feel him easing you back into his chest while he gets comfortable on the couch, covering the two of you with a blanket. You just burrow down and sigh while you start to drift back to sleep.

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101 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

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[natalyelle]

I posted 5,737 times in 2022

107 posts created (2%)

5,630 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@natalyelle

@choccy-zefirka

@jonah-the-unknown

@moonlightsdreaming

@galaxywhale

I tagged 5,141 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#q - 3,843 posts

#dragon age - 698 posts

#mass effect - 643 posts

#disco elysium - 339 posts

#other people's oc - 312 posts

#the elder scrolls - 233 posts

#later reblog because why not - 189 posts

#sailor moon - 170 posts

#star wars - 124 posts

#our flag means death - 109 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#sometimes i just start painting on the sketch layer accidently and my usual many layers become one layer painting lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

would it be ok to request a happy little nug? :)

(It took a little more time than I expected haha)

Here you go! ^^

Also bonus:

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41 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#4

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48 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#3

Happy Cosmonauts Day!

(And also Happy Birthday to my Katerina Shepard, for I headcanon her birthday is on the 12th)

54 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

#2

I realised that I’ve never painted Ashley...

64 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Happy Holidays, @shiara-tsoni! The little Harbinger told me than you like Liara, so here she is, specially for you! In a new sweater, that Shepard gifted to her in this little drabble I also wrote:

A soft bluish light was the only source of illumination in the room. Liara bent over the monitor, tapping her fingers on the table. The Crucible was a miracle of technology, a hope that the Proteans brought into their gloomy lives. But it was necessary to understand whether this Hope would come true, whether the Crucible would be able to save everyone or…

Liara rubbed her eyes. After all, she is not a sorceress, but she must do everything she can to make this miracle happen.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Without waiting for an answer, the door opened, a familiar silhouette appeared in the doorway.

“Shepard, is that you?” Liara said with a smile.

“Who else would be wandering around the ship at this hour?” Shepard entered the cabin, and the blue color lit up her face, on which a slight smile played. “I think you're working too hard. Sometimes you need to rest.”

“Oh, Shepard,” Liara sighed heavily, turning back to the monitor. “I can't rest until the threat is over.”

Her fingers quickly slid over the touchpads and keyboards. Shepard gently covered Liara's palms with one hand and squeezed them slightly.

“If you distract yourself for just half an hour, the world will not collapse from this fact alone,” Shepard said softly and looked into Liara's eyes.

Liara couldn't look away, she seemed to be drowning in those familiar eyes. She gently squeezed Shepard's hand in response and smiled, slightly turning away from the monitor. Shepard smiled even wider and gently removed her palm, bringing it behind her back. Only now did Liara notice that Shepard was holding something there.

“I have a little gift for you,” Shepard said, as if reading her thoughts, and took out a large package from behind her back.

“This is... very unexpected,” Liara said, carefully unfolding the rustling paper. “Thank you.”

“It's nothing,” Shepard said casually, sitting down on a chair next to her. Liara noticed out of the corner of her eye that Shepard blushed a little. Smiling cheerfully, Liara continued to unwrap the gift.

“Is that a sweater?” Asari exclaimed in surprise, burying her fingers in a soft knitwear.

“Yes, I thought that sometimes it's cold on the ship, and I can't always be with you…”

Liara laughed merrily, hugged her girlfriend and kissed her gently.

“Will you try it on?” Shepard asked with a slight grin. Liara, with a perky smile and a sweater in her hands, disappeared into the second half of her cabin.

“Did you knit it yourself?” Liara's voice came.

“I have many different talents,” Shepard said mysteriously, sipping some liquid from Liara's mug. She doesn't need to know that she bought this sweater on their last visit to the Citadel.

“Well, how is it?” Liara came out into the light, closer to Shepard. The sweater was big and long, covered all the arms and fell slightly off the shoulder.

“They’re wearing them like that, don’t they?”

“Aren't you wearing anything else?” Shepard asked, somewhat dumbfounded.

“Come closer and check it out.”

95 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

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#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #hahaha I reblogged mostly from myself #and used queue a lot this year lol #and most of my fanart is Mass Effect - that is predictable tho

[sugascrowswrites]

be my home │ iwaoi one-shot

read it here or on ao3 published: february 10, 2022 │ words: 877 │ sfw, fluff

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

hajime and tooru save up for years to buy an old van and turn it into a camper.

they do most of the remodeling themselves, with family and friends helping where they can. after months of work, the last pieces of furniture are put together and decorations are added to make the interior feel more homely.

when the time comes for the two to leave for a yearlong road trip, everyone’s invited to an early summer barbecue at the iwaizumi residence. this is where they can say their goodbyes to the young couple, and take one more look at the lovely, finished camper.

in the evening, everybody's seated in the garden, on benches, chairs, or blankets, laughing and chatting comfortably. the mothers share stories of hajime and tooru as children, of volleyball injuries, of won matches and other accomplishments.

at some point, mrs. iwaizumi even brings up her son’s first kiss, shared with tooru under the grand oak tree in the very garden they are seated in. it makes hajime blush furiously, which only invites mrs. oikawa to talk about love letters in mailboxes and hourlong phone calls.

it's a magical night, a last chance to wish hajime and tooru the best, to ask for pictures and postcards, before the two start their biggest adventure yet. so, when the guests leave, kissing cheeks and crying bittersweet tears, a sense of finality settles in the couple’s bones.

the next morning, they will leave. leave behind their families and their home – where they grew up, and where they fell in love.

tooru's parents will be back, then, waving them goodbye, but he is staying the night at hajime’s. one last time, possibly, they are going to share the tiny, creaking bed that has been witness to their love, their laughter, and their tears.

hajime sighs deeply as he stands before his bedroom window, gazing out at the van in the driveway, its fresh polish glistening in the moonlight. he turns, when he hears a chuckle behind him, light and affectionate.

tooru is under the covers already, lying on his side, and watching with a small, lopsided smile, as hajime steps away from the window and pulls the curtains closed.

before getting into bed as well, he takes off his teal t-shirt – a part of their former high school’s gym attire – feeling tooru’s eyes on his chest.

as he lifts the blanket, hajime catches a brief sight of the other’s own exposed torso, lean and flawless in the bluish dark of the room. he has seen every part of this body, felt it all, right here.

but he knows where they are doesn’t matter. he knows he will never have enough, nowhere. he wants to touch tooru forever, tenderly trace his curves and planes with the tips of his fingers, and kiss him all over.

a hand reaches for his beneath the covers and their fingers interlock.

“are you nervous”, tooru asks, his chocolate eyes – almost black, now – meeting hajime’s.

“no, not nervous.”

the other’s lips curve into a teasing grin,

“excited, then?”

hajime doesn’t pay the little smirk any mind, but brings his free hand up to cup tooru’s cheek, softly brushing his thumb over the smooth skin. he can feel the other lean into the touch, bask in its warmth.

“yeah, i'm excited.”

there's a glimmer in tooru’s eyes, relict of childhood mischief and reminiscent of past summer nights.

“me, too”, he says, his lids fluttering to a close, long lashes brushing against hajime’s thumb.

“i can’t believe it’s really happening.”

the other just hums in agreement, moving closer to touch his forehead to tooru’s. it’s what they used to do before volleyball matches, in the quiet of empty locker rooms, and at midnight, on new year’s. it’ a gesture reserved for special occasions.

hajime feels tooru’s shaky exhale graze his jaw and catches his gaze when he looks up again, after a few moments of stillness have passed. a silent question lies in his chestnut eyes.

are you going to kiss me?

hajime untangles their fingers beneath the covers. the hand on tooru’s cheek moves to his chin, tilting his head slightly upward, closer. the other pushes past the pillow to cup his neck, steadying him, and buries itself in a tangle of brown locks. hajime does kiss him.

it's a soft brush of their lips, at first, delicate and chaste. when they part, tooru smiles the smile that makes his lover melt for him. hajime wants to capture it with all his senses. he can feel it – taste it – when the other leans in once more, slow but determined.

the skin at the nape of his neck grows warmer beneath hajime’s palm. tooru’s blush is like the result of a chemical reaction. no matter how long they’ve been together, how many kisses they’ve shared – when they touch, there is heat.

“promise me something”, tooru says after a while, breathless.

hajime looks at him expectantly, eyes hazy with yearning, and fingers still buried deeply in the mess of the other’s brown locks.

“wherever we are”, tooru’s voice is a whisper against hajime’s lips,

“be my home.”

there's a moment of silence, the words left floating in the little air between them. then, hajime smiles, lovingly.

“i promise.”

#iwaoi #iwaoi fanfic #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #haikyuu!! #sugascrowswrites