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hellcat8908 · 3 months

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Love Lost 4 Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Hurt, Alcohol

Please read previous parts before continuing if you haven't already.

One Two Three

Azriel had carried the bottle and his glass into the living room. They both knew he wasn't going to sleep, and this seemed to be how he wanted to pass the time. Cassian shared a couple of drinks with him as they talked about various topics but always seemed to come back to you. He knew his brother was hurting, but he also knew better than to let Azriel drown himself in a bottle. After a few drinks, Cassian cut him off. Eventually, Azriel fell asleep on the couch, and Cassian slept in the chair.

The next morning after breakfast, you showered and changed into a pair of leggings and a sweater. You took the time to braid your hair and pull it up in a bun. Somehow, you felt lighter, not having to feel like you were walking on eggshells. You decided to grab the book Eris had left on your nightstand and take it to one of the courtyards to read. You couldn't help but smile that it was a collection of poems. You sat on one of the beautifully carved benches and got lost in the pages of the book.

The sound of a throat clearing pulled your attention. "Sorry to interrupt you, but I thought you might like to take that walk with me." Eris says as he extends his hand. You take it gently in yours, "I would love to." You say as he helps you off the bench. He smiles and escorts you from the courtyard and out of the gate. "Glad to see you're dressed for the occasion." He says. "I was glad you suggested it last night. I think it's just what I need." You walk peacefully and discuss the book you'd been reading. As you listened to the song birds around you and admired the vibrant autumn colors.

"I hate to sour the mood, but I received a letter from Rhysand asking if I had seen you. I haven't responded because I wanted to see how you wanted to handle this. They don't need to know you're here if you don't want them to." He says, reminding you you're in control of the situation. "I don't want to cause tension between the two of you and your courts. I realize I put you in the middle of all of this, and I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. You can tell him I'm here, its only a matter of time before they figured it out anyway." You say, your nerves causing you to ramble. "Don't worry about anything between Rhysand and I. This is about you and what you're comfortable with." Eris says.

"Tell him I'm here. Just because he is asking doesn't mean Azriel wants to know where I am." You say as you continue to walk. Eris walks quietly beside you, eventually walking back to the manor. Once inside, you thank him for the walk and excuse yourself back to your room. Once alone in your room, you curl up in a chair by the window. As you stare out across the forest, you start to think about what you want. Your mind drifts to Azriel and all the what-ifs that surround your relationship with him.

You start thinking about if he wanted to see you would you want to see him. You start thinking what the two of you would even have left to say to each other. You knew you stilled loved him, but you weren't sure how he felt about you anymore. It was all becoming overwhelming. You decided to lay down and try to calm your mind. A while later, you felt the familiar caress against your mind. You decided to let him in to spare anyone else from having to witness the exchange.

"Are you okay?" Rhys's voice drifts into your mind as you lower your shield. "I'm safe if that's what you're asking." You reply. "Is he treating you well?" Rhys asks. "Yes, I wouldn't stay here if he wasn't." You answer with a clipped tone. "I'm sorry, I just want to make sure you're okay." He says apologetically. "Have you told him where I am or doesn't he care?" You ask pointedly. "I haven't told him where you are, and he does care. He came home to talk to you last night, but you were already gone." Rhys says. "Probably to tell me he was leaving me for good." You say.

"Would you be willing to meet and talk to him? I think you both could benefit from it." He says gently. "I already told him that when he walked out the door, he made the decision." You say. "He was upset and didn't understand what you meant." Rhys says in Azriel's defense. "I'm not trying to start a fight. Just please consider talking to him. I really think you both deserve to hear what the other has to say. Reach out to me if you want to set up a meeting." Rhys says before withdrawing from your mind.

Rhys had stopped by the house to check on Azriel and Cassian. "I've found her and reached out to her. She is safe with a friend." Rhys tells him. "She didn't agree to see you though, but I told her to reach out if she wants to." He says, gauging Azriel's reaction. "Can't really say I expected her to want to see me." Azriel responds. "I told her I think it would be good for you to hear what the other has to say. Hopefully, she'll come around." Rhys says. "In the meantime, just give her some space to work it out for herself. You have to be patient." Rhys says.

"Do you know where she is?" Cassian asks, "or who her friend is?" Azriel answers before Rhys can, "She's in Autumn with Eris." His voice is calm. "How did you know?" Rhys asks. "Because if it had been anyone else in another court, you would've said where and who." Azriel answers. "Besides, she grew up there, so it makes sense that's where she would go." He adds, "If I had focused sooner, I would've known. Don't worry, I'm not going to go. I'll give her whatever she needs now, even if it's space with him." Azriel says.

You lock yourself in your room, not wanting to talk to anyone the rest of the night. You lay there thinking about what Rhys said. You toss and turn trying to get some sleep, but you can't seem to get comfortable. Finally, you give up and make a decision that will change your life forever, either for the better or the worse. You step outside into the cool night air and winnow home. You stare at the dark house in front of you before walking up to the door. You take a deep breath before walking inside and calling, "Azriel."

Next Part: Finale

#acotar #batboys #sarah j maas #acotar fanfic #azriel #azriel x reader #acotar angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar

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spookymystery67 · 7 months

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I Wish I Could Walk In Heels

AN: I didn't re-read once again out of fear I'd hate it, so hopefully this chapter doesn't suck. There is game plot and dialog that I changed here and there. Enjoy!

TW: Violence, mutant bug thing, zombies, language, sort of terrible flirting?, typical Resident Evil things, ect. I don't know, I suck at tags. Sorry if I traumatize anyone. NO MINORS!

Chapter 4:

-September 28th, 1998-

You and Jill were halfway to the surface when a sudden sound filled the air.

"Jill, Y/n, it's me again. You two topside yet?" Carlos called through the radio.

"Working on it. So what's the plan?" Jill answered, holding the radio in front of her.

"The old tank's got me clearing the tracks. You two mind getting the subway infrastructure back online?" Carlos asked.

"And how do we do that?" Jill asked.

"Let's start by restoring power. I'll navigate you to the substation once you hit the main road."

"Copy that. Let's do this fast." Jill finished, shutting off the radio.

"So, you gonna join the other survivors when the train starts working again?" Jill questioned you, wanting to start a conversation.

You shrugged, "I don't know. I still need to get to the police station."

"Why? What's at the police station?"

"Hopefully, Ben. Alive. My guess is that Irons didn't let anyone leave their cells when all this started."

"I wouldn't put it past him. Were you and Ben, you know, close?" She looked at you with a suggestive look, implying something in her last question.

You snorted, "Me and Ben? Yeah right. He's not my type. Plus, he was dating my friend, Katherine."

"Mmhmm, and what's your type then? Strong and broody? Someone with a goofy side? I know a guy." She joked.

"Are you trying to set me up?" You laughed.

"Well, I kinda owe you one. You have done me more than one favor in the last couple of hours I've known you." You laughed louder. "C'mon, what's your type? Now I'm curious." Jill pressed. You debated in your mind.

You've never really told anyone this before. Well, anyone besides Katherine and Ben. Questions about your sexuality never came up that often in your life.

"Not men." You bluntly responded. Jill nodded in understanding.

"Ah, only have eyes for the fairer sex. I respect that. Am I your type?" Jill asked, the teasing tone bringing a small grin to your face.

You honestly didn't know what your type was. You were never interested in dating in high school. You were too much of an introvert. And you haven't really met anyone that caught your eye or shared similar interests. You just knew that men didn't do it for you.

"Gorgeous. Badass, with a caring side from what I've seen… Yeah, you kinda are." You said, a teasing smile on your face.

"Sweet. So if you save my ass again we can go on a date." She joked.

"You gonna buy me dinner? I'd kill for an extra cheesy supreme pizza right now. And a shower. And a nap."

"We'll have a sleepover. Do you like movies?"

"Love them."

"We'll shower, sleep, then eat pizza and watch movies."

"Sounds like a dream. It's a date." You laughed, Jill joining you.

"Can't wait."

You made it to the top of the station and gathered supplies. Herbs and ammo. According to Jill, these herbs have healing properties. You had no idea. If you had, you would have been grabbing them sooner.

You two make it to the entrance you used to duck under the half closed shudder to get to the outside. As you did, you noticed there were still people running away. One man, panting in fear, quickly ducked under the shudder you had come from where survivors were beckoned with yellow paint.

"More survivors. We gotta get that train moving." Jill said. As she did, I noticed how many more people have been infected and how much more the fire has spread. This whole city was a horror show. No corner you turned was left unaffected by the last week. By the last few hours specifically. You two carefully maneuvered through the streets, careful of zombies and being extra careful as to not shoot any survivors.

Once you two reached another blocked off area, Jill took out the radio to contact Carlos.

"Carlos, we've reached the main avenue. Which way do we go?" Jill questioned him on the radio. You had your pistol out and kept your eyes peeled, ready to shoot anything that might try to snap its teeth at you or Jill.

"See a big transmission tower? That's the substation. You'll have to circle around through an alley to your right to get there."

"You mean the alley that's on fire?" Jill deadpanned when she saw the flames. You snorted at her tone.

"Maybe? Surely a tall drink of water like yourself can put out a few flames." Carlos' joking voice said through the speaker.

"Fuck you." Jill sighed as she shut the radio off. Clearly she wasn't in the mood for his flirty jokes.

"Alright, let's see if we can get this fire out. Hopefully it won't be too much of a hassle." You said. And, as if the universe just loved to torment you, you had to get a tool to get the fire hydrant to work.

"This is gonna be a hassle." Jill sighed.

"Yeah." You huffed.

You both walked out of the alley, barely making it fully onto the street again when you saw zombies just full on knocking down and picking up the fences blocking them from getting to the two of you.

"You have got to be kidding me." Jill said as the horde walked closer.

"Those are some weak ass fences. No wonder this outbreak spreaded so fast." You said. You raised your gun, prepared to shoot at any moment.

"Wait, back up with me." Jill said.

You didn't bother questioning her, backing up, away from the zombies walking toward you.

Jill quickly took aim and waited until all the zombies were in one spot, before shooting a red barrel sat next to a crashed car. The barrel exploded, sending debris and zombies flying through the air. You block your face and squint from the heat of the blast. When it faded, you saw all the zombies were dead.

"Huh. How'd you know it would explode?" You asked.

"It's red. Red means flammable."

"Why would someone just leave flammable barrels around?"

"Why would someone create a virus to turn people into monsters? The world is full of questionable people." Jill shrugged.

"More like fucking idiots." You sighed. You were tired. You haven't been able to sleep more than a few minutes since a week ago. You were running on pure adrenaline at this point.

"Well, I guess the bright side is that we have access to a whole new street. We can look for a hose for the fire hydrant." Jill said, gesturing to the somewhat clear street corner, bright neon signs lighting up the area.

"Sure. I suppose. I'm getting tired of all these sidequests." You said. You both began your trek through the brightly lit street.

"Me too." Jill agreed.

A while later, you both had successfully found a fire hose. Only having to avoid a few zombies in the process. You made it back to the flame filled alley, fire hose in your arms.

"Here, you can do the honors." You said, handing Jill the heavy fire hose.

She huffed from the sudden weight, "Thanks so much. You really shouldn't have."

"What are friends for?" You joked.

Jill set up the hose and began spraying water onto the flames. It takes a few seconds for the flames to finally go out.

"There." Jill sighs, putting the hose down that was no longer needed.

"See. It would have taken me far longer if I had done it." You said, nudging her arm playfully.

"Mmhmm. Let's go lazy bones." Jill said. You both start forward once more.

"In my defense, I haven't slept in a while. It's honestly a miracle I've made it this far."

"No, you have some natural survival skills in you. I've seen you shoot that gun. You only miss a couple of times." Jill teased.

"Hey, I do pretty good for someone who had absolutely no experience with guns, thank you very much. And why do you think I try to avoid shooting?"

"Is that why you haven't used your shotgun? You don't know how to?" She asked, pausing in her step in the alley, standing near a building.

"Honestly, yeah. I found it and figured I'd take it in case I lost my handgun or ammo for it. I probably would have figured it out through trial and error."

"And get yourself killed in the process. Let's stop real quick and I'll show you how to use it."

Jill quickly went through the step by step process of shotgun 101. It's pretty much similar to the handgun. Just have to watch out for more recoil. But it was nice to understand how it worked and how to reload.

You both walked through the back entrance of a repair shop. You immediately saw bolt cutters, shining in a spotlight on a wall.

"Looks like those could be useful." You said.

"Yeah, can you carry them in your backpack?" Jill asked.

"Oh, now I gotta carry everything?" She smirked, nodding. "You need to get your own backpack." You said, grabbing the bolt cutters and slipping them into your backpack.

"Why should I when I have you and your never ending abyss of a backpack. How much stuff can you carry in there anyways? It's not that big of a bag."

"A lot if I put my mind to it. Speaking of where we are putting things. How are you carrying so much stuff?"

She shrugged. "Skills. Now, use the bolt cutters on that yellow chain on the door." She demanded, pointing to the door.

"Alright, bossy. Is this pay back for the fire hose incident?"

"Maybe."

You used the bolt cutters on the chain, causing them to break and unlock the door. You and Jill entered the room, noticing an injured man panting against a car. It's a car repair shop.

You and Jill quickly rushed forward to check on the man. "You're U.B.C.S?" Jill asked, kneeling down to check his wounds. You took your bag off your shoulders and knelt down with her, looking for your med kit.

"Y-yeah. Careful, careful." The young man gasped as Jill touched a painful wound. A bite.

You and Jill shared a glance after looking at the man. "C'mon. Don't look at me like that, alright? I'm not infected." The man said.

"Okay, we'll take care of-" Jill starts.

"No no no, wait! Please!" The man's cut off by a gunshot to the head, killing him instantly.

You and Jill gasped, turning to see the man with graying hair behind you who held the gun. Blood was splattered on your face.

"What the fuck!" Jill exclaimed, standing up in anger. You follow suit, attempting to wipe the blood from your cheeks. Luckily it didn't get in your eyes or mouth.

"He was infected." The Russian man said casually.

"He might have been infected!" Jill shouted.

The man scoffed. "Are all S.T.A.R.S this soft? No wonder so many of you are dead." He said, beginning to walk off.

"And what are you? U.B.C.S? Killing your own people?"

He huffed and turned to face her from the stairs. "He would have turned. Where is your sense of self-preservation?"

She said nothing and glared. You walked up to stand by her, ready to help fight the man if she needed you to.

He tsked and began walking up the stairs again. "Go back to the subway station. We don't need a bleeding heart like you getting in the way." He shuts the door behind him.

You rubbed Jill's arm in comfort before turning to look at the man. You saw a book sticking out of his pocket and picked it up in case it had information, skimming through it.

It was a training log. The man's name was Murphy. He was apparently in prison for murdering twenty gang members and Umbrella had let him out to work for them. He seemed to have had a motev for the murders as his brother was killed by a gang member. Not that you really approve murder. You just understand why someone would do so when blinded by grief.

"Find something?" Jill asked you.

"Uh, that guy that just left, his name may be Nicholai. That's just a guess though. But the way Murphy over here described Nicholai using him as a shield during training just screamed it's self-preservation dude." You said.

"Yeah, you may be right." She glanced at the dead man, saddened by another loss. "Let's get out of here. There isn't anything else here that we need."

You nodded and you two made your way up the stairs and out of the shop. You tried not to look at the body of the man as you left. As sad as it sounded, you've been trying to stay disconnected with your empathetic side since this all started. It's hard to go through the city knowing that all the dead and undead were once people like you. People who had feelings and family. People who you and Ben tried and failed to help.

You made it to a dark alley and looked ahead, seeing dogs and a crashed police car with the lights still flashing. Oh yeah, animals get infected too.

You and Jill did your best to avoid getting bit by the dogs, stunning them and shooting them to put them out of their misery.

Finally, you make it to the entrance of the transmission tower. The door was locked. Figures.

"Great." You sighed.

"Maybe that guy has something that can help." Jill motioned to the man slumped to the ground with a box in his hands.

"Let's check." You walked over and carefully grabbed the box from the dead man's hands. You screeched and jumped away when a bunch of bugs came exploding and crawling out of the man's stomach, guts exposed.

"Oh my god." Jill gasped.

You shivered and gagged. You hate bugs. Hate hate hate!

"Here you open it." You shoved the box in Jill's hands, not wanting to chance it. There could be more bugs in there.

She carefully opened the box, finding a lock pick.

"Nice. You know how to use it?" You asked her.

"Yeah. You?" She asked, you shook your head.

"I'm more of a climb through the window type person." You said.

She raised a brow at you. Oh yeah, she was a cop. Maybe you shouldn't talk about how you've broken the law during your time as Ben's assistant. "I've locked myself out of my apartment more times than I care to admit. Crowbars were my best friend in those scenarios. Had one left on the ledge."

Not entirely a lie there. You have had to lodge a crowbar through your apartment window after you've locked yourself out. And you hadn't wanted to call a locksmith, thinking you could "do it yourself" for free. You almost had the cops called on you by your neighbor before they realized it was you being an idiot.

"That's not safe. Someone else could have broken in." Jill scolded. You shrugged. "Nevermind. Let's just get this over with." She walked over to the gate lock and began picking it.

"Where did you learn to pick locks?" You asked as you watched her work.

"My father." She deadpanned, you could tell she didn't want to elaborate further.

"Huh. My dad never really taught me anything. Except how to sweet talk my way out of trouble. Very helpful since became Ben's assistant." You said.

"How'd you become his assistant anyways?" Jill asked as she worked on the lock.

"I found an ad somewhere in the papers. I needed a job that wasn't the fast food place I was working at. So I figured, why not apply. He liked me, I liked his thought process and his goals, and the rest is history."

"Now you're here, stuck with me. In a city wide outbreak where everything is trying to kill you. How's that feel?" She joked weakly.

"Well, it could be worse. I could still be alone. I'm glad I found someone I can trust in all this." The lock clicked and she stood and turned, giving you a smile.

"Ditto. I'm glad I have someone watching my back through this."

"Even though I suck at shooting?" You joked.

"Even though you suck at shooting." She laughed. She walked through the gate, holding it open for you.

You went to walk through the gate when you heard something behind you. You turned to look and saw nothing. As you were about to shrug it off, you saw a slimy substance falling from above. You looked up and saw a giant, mutated bug. The bug shrieked and grabbed you by the neck, still hanging from above. You screamed.

"Y/ n!" Jill yelled, running to help you.

Something slimy and tongue like is shoved down your throat, causing you to choke and gag from disgust. Jill gets it off of you and shoots the bug-like creature, killing it instantly.

"Fucking gross." She grimaced.

You choke and gag trying to get the disgusting sensation out of your throat. Of something crawling within you. A parasite.

"Here, you need an herb. Quickly!" Jill urged, coaxing you to swallow the herb in her hand.

You gasped and shoved the herb in your mouth, swallowing quickly. You immediately felt the urge to throw up and turned away from Jill, puking the parasite on the ground near the dead bug creature. You closed your eyes, trying to regain your breath and calm your beating heart.

"You okay?" Jill asked, rubbing your shoulder in comfort.

"No." You rasped. That was disgusting. You felt disgusting. You hate bugs.

"You know, I won't blame you if you'd want to wait out here. I can get this done alone if I have to." She told you.

"I'm thinking about it." You joked weakly. You shook your head and sighed. "No, I'll come with you. Hang on a second." You reached into your backpack and grabbed a pack of gum from your bag. You stuck a piece in your mouth, the mint refreshing the nasty taste in your mouth. You offered one to Jill and she smirked, taking a piece and sticking it in her mouth.

"Of course you have gum." Jill laughed.

"Well, yeah. I wish I had a toothbrush. My teeth aren't too bad right?" You haven't brushed in two days, having unfortunately lost your toothbrush and your cleaned bottled water when you had to run away from a public bathroom that was suddenly overrun with infected people. Finding out the hard way that the water was infected. Best not to drink the city water.

"No, you're fine. You surprisingly don't smell as bad as you look." You glared. "I mean, well, you know what I mean. You smell fine. And your teeth are fine. Now get up, we have things to do." She helped you to your feet from your kneeled position.

"Thanks." You deadpanned.

"Don't mention it. Let's get this over with."

You two quickly made your way through the building, shooting any bug that so much as twitched at you, working to get the power back on. There was some kind of disgusting growth covering the walls of the building. You weren't even sure what it was. You didn't want to know.

You finally pulled up the last lever, sighing in relief that you could finally leave.

"Done. Time to get the hell out of here." Jill said. You nodded in agreement, shooting and kicking away the angry giant bugs that ran at you.

"Agreed." You both ran, dodging any creature that lunged at you, until you finally made it outside.

"Okay. All that leaves is the main power switch." Jill panted, running up the stairs to the power station.

You both walked over to the control panel. Jill finds the switch and presses it, starting the power and destroying all the growth and bug-creatures. Mutated cockroaches? You weren't sure what type of bug it was. You just wanted them dead.

"Enjoy that." Jill said, watching the nest crumble.

"Good riddance. Hated those fucking things." You shivered.

"Me too. Come on. We gotta radio, Carlos." Jill said. You nodded.

You two began making your exit as Jill called Carlos.

"Carlos, it's Jill. We've restored power to the subway." Jill said.

"Nice going!" Carlos' voice sounded. "Next up is the traffic control system. It should be in the subway company's offices."

"Right. I think I know the building." Jill said.

"Really? Way to go partner. One step ahead!" He said.

"Not your partner." Jill finished, shutting the radio off.

You snorted, "Awe, he seems sweet."

"You can have him." She joked.

"I'm good."

You two walked down some stairs, making your way to the offices. You stopped to gather supplies you found lying around and hiding in lockers. They're probably not going to need it anymore. You pushed through an orange door, making it outside once more, then went through a gate and onto a street, following Jill's lead.

As you were walking, you had a sudden feeling of dread in your chest. It was quiet. Too quiet.

"Hey, Jill-" You started.

"I feel it too. Stay close." She said, feeling that something was wrong.

As you two walked by the police cars with the flashing lights, the wall to your right exploded, bricks flying everywhere. You gasped in shock and saw the tall and strong monster that had been chasing Jill earlier. Guess it recovered.

The monster growled, the sound similar to the word "stars". It started going after Jill once more and you grabbed her arm, pulling her way from getting hit.

"Are you shitting me?" Jill yelled, frustrated and frightened.

You both dodged and ran around it, continuing to your destination. Now with the added problem of that thing chasing you.

As you ran, it lunged forward and smacked at you both, knocking you back. You guess it's not doing the eerily slow walk anymore. You shot at a power generator, making it shock the monster and pulled Jill to a run, dodging zombies while you went.

You made your way back to the repair garage and Jill pulled out her radio. "Carlos, that thing is still alive! It's after me!" Jill yelled.

"What? Run! You both come back to the station!" He told her.

"Not until we get traffic control online." Jill put the radio away and glanced at you questionly.

"You okay to keep helping me? That thing is only after me. You'd be safer away from me."

"No, I'm not going to leave you to fix the train by yourself. And I'm not leaving until I know you're safe. It's the least I can do."

Jill nodded sincerely. "Thank you."

You both finally make it to the offices, careful as to avoid anything trying to kill you. Jill pulled her radio out again.

"Carlos, we're in the control room. Now what?"

"Nice! Now you gotta plot out a route." His voice said through the speaker.

"Okay, gimme a sec." Jill handed you the radio to hold and got to work. "Alright, where are we headed?" She asked through the radio in your hand.

"The train is stopped at Redstone Street. We need to reach Fox Park Station. Can you program that in?" Carlos asked.

"Hey, I'm supercop. Consider it done." She joked. You chuckled and watched as she input the directions. She did so successfully.

"Carlos, it's me. I've finished inputting the subway route." She said, gently taking back the radio from your hand.

"Jill, you are amazing! Tough as nails too. Hurry back to the station. We'll make sure the subway is ready to depart." Carlos said.

Jill put the radio away after that. "He's right. You are amazing. Just thought you should know." You smirked.

"Shut up." She snorted, smiling sheepishly. "We better get going to the station. Thanks for your help, by the way. And the company. It's nice having someone to talk to through all of this." She told you.

"Don't mention it. I couldn't just leave you to do this by yourself. Even supercops need help once in a while." You both laughed and made your way out of the office.

Now you need to make it back to the station in one piece.

#ada wong x reader #ada wong #resident evil #resident evil x reader #claire redfield #jill valentine #leon kennedy #I guess jill valentine x reader if you squint #Terrible flirting #I lack experience in that feild #Funny that I'm writing a love story lmao #idk what else to tag #raccoon city

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mrs-evadne-cake · 8 months

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Hey i think ive sent compliments about ur stranger things fic on here before too but skdhdk i recently reread it again (at this point i think i do come back to it once a year lmao) and i just had to come back here again because i feel like its only gotten better on the reread!!! Everytime i remember what a disappointment the recent seasons of the show have become i come back to ur fic and am always astounded by the amount of care you've put into the story and the affection you have for the characters and truly fleshing them out the way you did. Especially a big fan now of the way you tackled the question of "how do we decide something or someone is a monster" on the latest reading between neil hargrove tuning into his radio, james harrington deciding who were real people and who are the monsters who needed to be contained, and ofc the little girls who knew themselves to be monsters now because of things theyve gone through but still try their best to hang onto things they love. Something i didnt pay attention to on the first reading but now i cant stop thinking about it!!! Esp with how jonathan immediately forms a rapport with the abused children instantly because he knows what its like to inherit that monstrousness from violence thats been done to you and desperately wanting to rise above it + the sympathy w which you wrote kali genuinely put this above anything the show could put out at this point. Maybe ever because i dont think the show could truly ever commit to the political stance its first season demanded. Thank u so much!!!!! I liked how now that theres smth of a positive relationship bw hopper and kali, theres potential for a kali and sara hopper team up in the future and possibly how hopper can keep in touch if sara ever decided to reach out.

Optional question for u to respond to: in the story its constantly referenced that jonathan met steves dad at some point and that was probably when steve was told that he wasnt to hang out with the byers. Im guessing that was when joyce dropped him off that halloween cause thats when steve started finding loopholes to meet up with him? I just wanted to know if that would be a correct assumption, and i was wondering how that encounter went down lmao

(btw the choice of making jonathan and steve childhood friends + steve and nancy always being jonathans first loves and them eventually falling into that same configuration the two of them promised each other even when jonathan was the only careful custodian of that memory and never brought it up???? FUCKING INSPIRED. I've never gotten over it ever. Steve admitting in his "rewritten history" bits that jonathans smile made him feel like a bullet train????? God I'll never stop being lightheaded everytime i think about that.)

Hey i think ive sent compliments about ur stranger things fic on here before too but skdhdk i recently reread it again

You're Anon, so I don't know! But if you did I am delighted you decided to reread and tell me more! Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner! Haven't been on here a lot came back and was like...is that... a message?

the affection you have for the characters and truly fleshing them out the way you did.

I'm always so glad when this is what readers take away from it- I never wrote as a hobby before writing this (and haven't written since, unfortunately had the same ultimate feeling on s3/4 as you) but I really loved the show and characters after S2 and this was just an expression of that for sure. I'm so happy it comes through!

Esp with how jonathan immediately forms a rapport with the abused children instantly because he knows what its like to inherit that monstrousness from violence thats been done to you and desperately wanting to rise above it

Thank you! I really wanted a big part of the fic to be that no one's 'hero moment' has to be killing a monster with a bat- hell, I maintain to this day that Steve's was just apologizing in S1- and that it can just as well be empathy and kindness.

Maybe ever because i dont think the show could truly ever commit to the political stance its first season demanded.

Don't get me started.

Yeeeeagh. I don't remember if I had a thing for this? It's been a few years. The Halloween thing is from The Wolves in the Walls which was the original first chapter of this when it was still gonna be a 5 chapter character study instead of a you know, novel. I think in the fic proper it was that his dad was just around more when he was in grade school and just started to have to leave constantly when the project really ramped up around when Terry Ives/Ken/Gloria/Alice joined and 11 was born?

I'm so happy you enjoyed it - thank you so much for the excellent take and the wonderful comment!

#iasl

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megaawkwardhuman · 1 year

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers.♡

sorry for not responding to this sooner

wrote more then I expected so just gonna put this here

1: my dog!

he might be annoying at times but at the end of the day I fucking love him and if anything bad happens to him I'm going to kill a bitch. though it would be nice if he didn't jump on me all the time since he's fucking big (he's still a puppy tho so I cut him a lot of slack) (also he's a german shepherd if you're curious)

2: art

whether it's viewing it or creating it art has always made me happy. I've been drawing since middle school and while I do have creative dry spells I haven't really stopped creating and picking up random mediums (just pencil, just pens, pixel art, sewing, kandi making, painting the list goes on and will continue to go on)

3: music

I would go insane if music didn't exist. It's always been a big part of my life whether it's my dad blasting music while cleaning the house or me listening to music while walking down to a corner store to get an arizona. Music also helps give me ideas! like I have a few fic ideas written down that were inspired by songs.

4: watching and talking about media I like

I'll take this moment to apologize to my irl friends who have witnessed me info dump over discord vcs at like 1 am without planning what I'm saying so it's all one big cluster fuck of words. I fucking love to ramble on and on about shit that I like ESPECIALLY THE MEDIA I CONSUME!!!! I've always been a nerd for details, theories, and over all over analyzing. not always but most of the time if given the chance to talk about something I like I become like one of those door to door missionaries. Only instead of talking about my god I go on about how gay something is. Also watching shit that I like! after I'm done typing all of this I'm gonna rewatch some wwdits while working on bunny art (I swear one of these days I will explain the bunnies. It's a whole thing with a looooong story behind it. I wanna share it but I think it deserves a separate post so I won't talk about it here.)

5: tumblr

is this one a bit of a cop out? probably. is it true? 100%. it fucking baffles me that my ideas and art can bring joy to others. hell I still can't believe I've INSPIRED OTHERS but somehow I have. All of y'all in the wwdits fandom have really helped me get through art block that was going on for months I think? I can't put into words how thankful I am for this site. All of the amazing artists, all of the meta posts, just EVERYTHING AH YOU GUYS HAVE NOOO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE Y'ALL. it kinda feels weird since at the end of the day I don't really know y'all and y'all don't really know me but still from the bottom of my little queer heart thank you all soooo much for the follows, likes, replies, and reblogs.

#answering stuff #no joke teared up at the end #alright back to the art I was working on!

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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I'm sorry for not responding to what you said about my art sooner! I'm at school right now before I can answer it, mostly because I am on mobile and I want to respond to everything you said. I have read it about 4 times now, it brings me joy every time I think about all the ncie things you said

And that is beautiful about the whiplash you got and how you went "Oh, that sure does look quite a bit like Maui!" *Moves on* *Realises*

Anyway, yes he is Chaos incarnate in a carefree and sexy way and Jeremy (The little space man next to him in the space wip) Is completely and utterly horrifuef by everything he does /lh

I'll go into more detail when I get home and I should be able to give a general timeline of events in his life! I have scrapped the multiple life times idea as it was too complicated and I found too many plot holes in it (If I didn't talk about it then ignore this bit) so I've made it linear, but I've had to scrap and merge some parts that I'd originally scripted for him. Unfortunately this does not mean he was ever a pirate. Rip my girlfriend who loved that about him (I'm not sure if I talked a lot about that either- There's a lot to say about this man!!)

I'm also refining how his "death but not really" works at the moment, like maybe when he's fatally wounded he'll be almost reverted to his healthiest state, physically. This man has never been mentally stable. Never. There will be a few trigger warnings for the time line, especially his early childhood, and I'll be taking a lot of constructive critasism about it because I haven't gone anything close to what he went through!

Oops now I'm rambling- Wait I can just do the time line now

I probably shouldn't but!! Oh well!! I'll do it in a seperate ask so that this one doesn't get even longer.

Thank you for the comments on my art!!! I love and appreciate you!!!

-Heathen

Heathen! Hello! There's no need to apologize--I actually didn't expect you to respond to what I said at all, I was just saying it in response to what you sent first. But I am glad that what I said brought you joy!! Also there was a moment of surprise cause I didn't look at the url of the person posting and had scrolled past it and went "huh that looks like Maui....and heathen's art style wait a minute" and scrolled back up only to realize that it was both Maui and your art style!!

I am very happy for Maui and his chaotic sexiness or however that should be phrased, and sympathetic towards Jeremy's plight, afflicted with the chaotic sexy of Maui that he is. Sounds like it is not an easy job to be close (?) to Maui. idk you saying "everything he does" makes it sound like he's with Maui a lot but maybe he's not, I wouldn't know.

Also I have received the asks about his life timeline and the one with your reactions!! I haven't responded yet not because I'm uncomfortable with the contents but really I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I will do that though. At some point. I generally try not to answer an ask from the same person multiple times in a row.

I do remember the multiple lives thing, though you didn't go into a lot of detail. A tragedy that he is no longer someone who once was a space pirate, but sacrifices must be made. He will continue to be a space pirate in your girlfriend's heart, and that's what counts.

Good luck figuring out the death but not really thing!! Fine tuning the details of how things work can be annoying but you'll get there eventually and find something that suits your story. And sometimes the thing that suits your story is mental instability, so hope Maui has fun dealing with that!

I love and appreciate you too! /p and I will answer your other asks in due time! one of them disappeared from my desktop inbox, but that means it probably still shows up on my mobile one and I can still answer it!

#quil's queries #heathen nonsie #other's ocs #long post #i think I was playing video games when you sent all three asks and when I finally checked my notifications had a moment of 'uh oh'#cause I thought something had happened but then I saw it was just maui :)

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 3 years

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cactus here! thank you for the article. i haven't finished reading it yet but im hoping to. i appreciate you taking the time to respond to my last ask.

this ask is for advice. tw for abuse/child abuse.

when i was younger, things were a lot worse. i was beat much more often by my father. there were plenty of threats as well, such as him saying that he would hurt me in various ways when we got home, if i couldn't do something correctly, if i didn't "straighten up", etc. even when he didn't follow through, it was still terrifying. i often felt so scared and helpless around him. there was no where for me to go. there still isn't.

now that im a bit older, he's... mellowed out? he's a lot calmer and kinder than he was back then. i've been threatened recently, but he hasn't hurt me in a year or two. last night when my mom hit me, he yelled at her for it. even though he's being nicer to me, im still so scared. whenever he even slightly changes his tone or raises his voice, i start crying and feeling terrified. sometimes i can't even stand to be near him. im still nervous even when he's out of the house. what if he comes home in a bad mood? what if he's upset the house isn't perfectly clean? what if i suffer for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

when i was younger, i think that things were easier because i didn't feel scared of him. i felt scared of the abuse. i viewed my dad as kind and loving. he took me everywhere. we watched movies together. he supported my hobbies. how could someone like that be an abuser? now that im older and have had a lot of time to reflect on what happened and i can understand it better, im so scared of him. he and the things he did to me are not two separate entities.

i feel so stupid and pathetic for being scared and upset by things that happened years ago. since the abuse isn't really a current thing, i feel like im not allowed to be upset by it. but i am. i am so anxious so often. how do i stay calm around him?

Hi Cactus,

I want to start off by saying that you are not stupid and pathetic for being scared and upset by things that happened years ago. The abuse not currently happening doesn’t mean it’s not still affecting you. It kind of is still a “thing” in the sense that it is affecting you and it honestly sounds like there are some triggers here. It sounds like you’re afraid of it happening again which may mean your brain still sees it as a “thing” and that’s really valid.

People can genuinely change, I believe that. But it doesn’t mean that you need to just “get over” what happened. It’s really valid that the things he did to you are not separated from him. It can be easier to separate this when you’re younger.

I hope that you know that you shouldn’t be threatened, and that may play sa part in how scared you are. It’s valid either way.

When it comes to staying calm, is it possible there are some grounding exercises you can do? Some of them are mental, like focusing on all the items that are a certain colour in a room, or the 5-4-3-2-1 method. If you have an item that is comforting to you or helps you focus on it, you could have it in your pocket to squeeze or touch. Focusing on calming breathing techniques are also something you could try.

I am so sorry that you are in this situation, and I hope that you are able to leave it sooner rather than later.

April

#mod april #trauma talks #physical abuse #abuse #emotional abuse #tw abuse #child abuse #tw child abuse #cactus

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judgement-free-sideblog · 4 years

Text

Ghosts from the rainforest

Captain James Conrad x Reader

Summary: A simple rescue mission will bring him back to a place full of nightmares, and maybe this time he could find redemption. Situated in 1975, 2 years after the events of Skull Island.

Warnings: Violence, blood, wounds, mentions of war, cursing, implied smut, smoking, angst.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

I finally manage to write the end to this tiny fic, I hope you like it, and I'm going to start on my ideas for a Jonathan Pine adventure, but I haven't decide yet.

Chapter 7: Fever [Final]

The helicopter was already on motion, and the rescue crew that Brooks had sent for you were charging everything for the trip. The guys were excited to finally going back home, the Celebes Sea was ahead of you in the military base you were staying, and waiting in the Pacific the majestic USS Constellation (CV-64) waiting to take all of you home.

Home? A country that had make more damage and taken everything from you, your family, and had force you to live away to mend some of the atrocities they had committed in the name of freedom.

"Not looking so charming today are we?" You said to him once he walked in your room to pick up your bags, you have finally stop the hostilities after he had offered you his shoulder to cry while you mourned Shukri on his funeral and after all the physical torture he had endured so you could safely leave Borneo.

He had been clear about letting you stay if that was what you wanted, and even when the rest of the crew asume you were coming back to USA, he knew you would have to say goodbye sooner or later, so instead of telling him all the things your heart was keeping from him you kept teasing him and pretending the chopper was not waiting for him.

"I have a minor headache love, but it's okay, are you ready to say goodbye?" He said and you noted how his temple had a few wrinkles, he was trying to smile over the pain in his head "It's a shame you don't come with us, I have a lot of things I wanted to show you" he grabbed your hand and all your alarms started to scream.

"Conrad are you okay?" Those words were all you have hoped for, however the radiant heat from his skin told you he was not exactly fine. "Dear God you are burning up" You said touching his head and looking desperately for a thermometer in your belongings.

"I like you too doctor, but why don't we wait until we get to the ship, we can share a bunk bed" He was definitely not himself.

"103° damn it Conrad!" You said, and for some oddly reason remember the night he told you about Randa and how much he complained about mosquitoes while he was dressing "Look at me, I'm not kidding, did you take Chloroquine before we leave Malaysia? I told you guys you had to..."

He nodded negative, and before he could speak he simply throw up in the nearest trash bin, making you suspect of the worst, specially since all the medicine was now gone and the only viable solution now was the aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific waiting for you.

"Also you have perfect legs you know that? I could spend my life sleeping on them." He kept saying things like that while you helped him to the heliport "Come here princess your prince charming needs your love" he said trying to kiss you.

"Later dear, preferably when you're not dying or smelling like vomit" you tried to stop him.

"Well you didn't mind me covered in dirt and sweat" He tried again but he stopped to scream "Reg! I love you man, you are like a son to me" and also tried to kiss the boy on the forehead.

"What happened to the Captain?" Slivko asked concerned once you help him to board the chopper while carrying his luggage and your medical bag.

"I have no idea, but I'm afraid it might be Malaria" you said bluntly and all of them looked concerned at you, while he vomited again "Do you have medical equipment here?" You asked the pilot and he only raised his thumb while you make sure he was steady on the helicopter floor, and almost didn't feel the machine take off while you tried to put an IV on his arm.

After one hour that felt like ten you could no longer see the island, only the immensity of the Pacific, and growing in the horizon the USS Constellation, even when you despised war and everything it represented the enormous carrier was enough to let you speechless, specially when a team of nurses and a doctor was already with a stretcher waiting for him.

"It's going to be ok James" you told him holding his hand while the experts rushed him inside.

"You really like men to die quite literally for you right?" He tried to joke, fighting the impulse of vomiting again, "Hey it's okay, I have to take care of you remember?" He smiled and you hold his hand trying to not get on the way of the medical staff, but he was too weak and fall asleep.

After they had stabilized his temperature, and take samples of his blood to determine the pathogen they let you in, the beds inside the medical bay of the ship were oddly spacious, and you could be sited next to him without any other person listening.

"Y/N?" He asked opening his beautiful eyes, "Hey it's okay love, I'm feeling better" He said and tried to reach for the glass of water on the table.

"Let me" You said and put it closer to him, "I know, once they identify the plasmodium they will know what is the best treatment for you, they take test and interrogate all of us, don't tell him I told you but Reles almost passed out when he saw the needle " He attempt to laugh but was still weak so he only smiled.

"Well is rewarding seen you on my dead bed, I'm quite honored, tears look oddly beautiful on you" He said and a small smile form in your lips.

"And you are still delirious" You said looking for a piece of cloth, and cold water from the sink to put on his head. "Here, try to rest, I'll come see you later" you told him but before your hand could leave his head he hold you still "What?"

"I might be dying, so you owe me at least listening me like adults" He said forcing you to stay next to him.

"You are not dying" you said trying to sound like it didn't matter and failing miserably "you are not, but fine. Let's talk" you concede.

"I'm sorry" he started contrary to what you had expected. "I had no idea how you looked before we met, and i was under no circumstances trying to seduce you to lure you back to America" you blush and regret your decision to stay by his side.

"I'm sorry too" You responded after a while "You have done so much helping me, even when half of the trouble I caused was preventable if I haven't trusted in the wrong people." You said and he hold your hand softly, he didn't want to hear about that, and you knew it so you took all the courage you have to continue. "And I'm sorry I over reacted, I am so used to people coming to me with second intentions that I just pushed you away to avoid getting hurt, and I just end up making other people hurt you"

"I'm sorry I make you come to the ship, I knew you wanted to stay" he said sincerely.

"It's okay, I have to make sure you stay alive, you know for the boys, maybe working at Monarch with you and Brooks won't be so bad"

"Well you can always run away from us in Hawaii, or maybe... we could run away together" He gave you a pleading look, and for moment you could imagine that life, keep running away, by his side, the soldier that never came home, and the idealist doctor, and keep leaving ghosts in every island, trying to find happiness apart from the world, but together. He kissed you, but this time it wasn't a lusty hunger kiss, nor passionate and angry like before, it was reassuring and you knew no matter what your answer was, he was on your side, for the first time you had someone on your side "So what do you say?"

But you couldn't answer because out of nowhere your stomach make you nauseous and you rush to the toilet to empty its content.

"Are you okay dear?" He screamed from the bed "I'm trying bloody hard to not take this as criticism"

"I'm okay, but I'm going to check your tests and start taking the pills before I end up confessing my sins on the fever like you" you said and walked out of the bathroom to saw him "We can talk later" you assure him.

You marched inside the medical office and started to look in the cabinets, when the young doctor that had received Conrad walked in.

"I'm sorry, I start feeling the symptoms and I thought it would be better if I start on the chloroquine before it gets worse" you excuse yourself.

"That would be great, if any of you had Malaria" he said offering you a seat that you take since he speak with a Texan accent and an authoritarian voice that made up from his young face "But we test all of you and what our SAS friend has is more likely a stomach flu from some bad shrimp, I was just on my way to tell him." He said and you sigh in relief, but also concerned about your own symptoms

"Oh that's great, but I start barfing too, and I didn't had the shrimp last night" you said and he took out a small file with your name that the nurses had put together earlier.

"Well it may be motion sickness, we are in a boat after all, or maybe... you told the nurse you didn't remember when was your last period?" He said looking the file.

"Well we have been in the jungle almost a month so I wasn't exactly counting" you tried to joke.

"The change of environment can trigger the vomit, or if you had sex in the past three weeks you might be pregnant" He smiled and all the weight of the world fall into your shoulders instantly. "In any case you should rest and let alone my medical cabinets, go with nurse Matthews she will give you some vitamins" he said but you were not longer listening.

No, it couldn't be that, right? You tried to convince your mind, but deep down you knew it was true, what would he think? He was a soldier, a man of the field, not a father, and you were obviously not a mother, what will happen now? Now that he wanted to run away in the world next to you, a baby had a place on that plan?.

Two days later Conrad was out of the medical bay and trying to approach you, offering you a fresh start from the afternoon you pause all those weeks ago in Malaysia.

But the stolen kisses on the hallways, and his nightly incursions on your cabin only made it harder for you to find a way to come clean about your news, even when the idea had already sink in your mind, because it was a baby, and it was his baby, how could you not be happy and grateful? Yet you haven't say anything to him.

Four days later he had spend the whole day walking on the deck with you, like if the planes and choppers were an appropriate sighting for a date.

"We'll be in Hawaii soon" He started "If you want to go out for a walk in the morning and get lost in the jungle we have to star planning now" he said and you were looking at the ocean trying to make up your mind.

"Maybe... I was wondering about the work you do at Monarch, maybe I will give it a chance" you start not sure how the whole we are having a baby situation will fit in your speech "I mean if you want to travel the world it might help to have a paying job for a while" you were nervously touching your hands.

"Of course, also when the baby comes I would like to have a proper house for him to be... or she, I don't care you know? as long as they're healthy" he said and you nodded yes.

"Yeah of course... what??" You look at him and he had the most radiant smile on his face, and he was clearly holding his laugh and apparently tears, of joy? "How do you know?

"Well nurse Matthews saw us kissing and then she complained about how Children this days keep having children out of wedlock" he said and you hide your face on your hands.

"I was really going to tell you... for real is just..." but you didn't have the words in you, and the tears were running on your face

"I know, it's fine, I mean is a little soon but if I'm honest I'm tired of running, and after all we've been trough I couldn't imagine a single person to share this experience with" He said cleaning the tears from your face.

"You sure?" You asked again, needing to hear it from his mouth.

"I'm sure, I fall in love with you when I saw you scaring local vendors in Malaysia and then fighting guerilla liders in Borneo, I even loved you when you vomit after kissing me for real, I'm completely taken by you Y/N"

"I fall in love with you too James" you said, and his expression got serious for a moment. "What?"

"Nothing, is just that I'm going to miss Prince Charming" he said giving you again the disarming smile that had started all this adventure.

The end

@damalseer

@kinghiddlestonanddixon (I hope you like the end)

#captain james conrad x reader #james conrad x reader #captain james conrad x you #james conrad imagine #captain james conrad #james conrad #kong skull island #kong skull island fanfiction #reg slivko #joe reles #glenn mills #tom hiddleston

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