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autisticlee · 10 months

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I wasn't diagnosed with hEDS, despite very much suspecting it before that. my doctor used that testing method (I always forget the name of) that looks at like 5 joints only and judges based on that. some of those happened to be joints I don't have as much issue with (for example, my elbows and knees don't bend past the degree required and my back is way too stiff to touch the ground without a lot of stretching first) but I was told I have general, basically harmless joint hypermobility and there's no treatment to help me or anything. I'm basically fine I guess?

I was told by a few people on twitter that the test is outdated and the issues I mention having sounds a lot like hEDS and I need a second opnion (but can't get one because that's the only doctor in my hospital/insurance system) so all I have to go by is what people online have told me from a guess and what a doctor told me. so I really don't know what the truth it. but I feel obligated to go off of what the doctor said and say "I'm fine" because I was also told by twitter people that this "isnt something to wish for/it's a very serious condition/you can't just self diagnosed this/etc" so I can only assume I just have a few joints that bend more than they should but it's fine.

(this is longer than i expected so i'll cut it)

my joints are always popping and cracking and feeling very loose and floppy. I don't get big dislocations requiring hospital visits that I am told are a required symptoms of hEDS. )I can dislocated my jaw on demand though and have to use my hands to put it back lmao and other joints get stuck and feel like they're trying to dislocate and stuff like that? i've had toes and fingers dislocated and my parents just yank on them until they pop back in. my hips are some of the worst joints i think. of course those aren't tested in the EDS test. i'll be walking and suddenly my hip feels like it pops out of place or gets stuck. if i'm standing and shift my hips, I can feel it pop really dramatically. always a dull pain, sometimes sharp pain that makes it very hard to walk untol it goes away. but I try to ignore it.

I feel like I have high pain tolerance (not sure if due to being autistic and having weird sensory issues, or from basically being trained my while life to ignore my pain because my parents couldn't afford to take me to doctors, being told to suck it up i'm being dramatic, getting ignored or told others "have it worse," etc.) so i've just been accepting the joint pain I get, especially from my very physically demanding job, and don't do much about it. I'm pretty sure most, if not all my sleep problems are due to chronic pain and discomfort. everyone tries to tell me it's all in .y head and I can't sleep because my mind is "too active" and i'm just "thinking too much" so i've been suggested so many things to treat anxiety. thkae don't work and meds made it WAY worse. i'm the definition of "head empty" when i'm trying to sleep. I don't think that's it lmao. if it's anything in my head, it's the vivid dreams I have. but do dreams make you feel like you got physically hit by a truck? maybe mentally, yeah.

my mom, who I work with, has chronic pain and back and other problems. so since she "just deals with it" she applies that to me and says "mine is worse/I deal with it every day and it mever stops/I can't help you/you have nothing to complain about/etc" and not just her, my whole family seems to have chronic pain and stuff. it's like it's genetic, idk. so i'm expected to work through it and ignore it. she doesn't use any mobility aids despite probably needing to, so it was never suggested to me. i've had pain and issues most my life but was always told i'm "too young to have any pain. wait until you're 25/30/35" (the number changes as I get older for some reason...) "you arent allowed to complain/experience pain now, you're too young. exercise more. you sit at your computer too much. etc" so i've just tried to ignore it and deal with it because i'm overreacting and it's not bad, right? others have it worse.

I visited some friends this past week. One friend is disabled and uses a cane/wheelchair to aid her mobility due to severe chronic pain. I brought my hip brace with me, which helps hold my hip in the joint a little and helps stop it popping out as I walk (there's still pain though, but it stops my joint from popping out sideways when i move it, if that makes sense?) my friend noticed me struggling and despite me telling her i'm fine and this or normal, she demanded I don't just "deal with it" like everyone else. she made sure I had my brace on, shared her pain meds, and made me borrow her cane while she used her wheelchair.

we went to an anime convention and met up with one of my friend's friends for a little bit. she also uses a cane when walking around a lot. she noticed my hip issues and my skin having a bad reaction to the double sided tape I was using for cosplays and asked if I had EDS because I showed signs like people she knows who have it. that kind of further makes me wonder if maybe my doctor misdiagnosed because of the bad outdated test? perhaps it's not and i'm overthinking it. i'm just thinking that if that's what it it actually is, it would be nice to know so I know how to help myself? like maybe there's more treatments than just ignoring standard hypermobility? and what if there's other related issues i'd have to watch for amd not know about?

but anyway, borrowing my friends cane, with and even without my hip brace (sometimes with wrist brace too if i remembered because wrist pain particularly due to an old, severe injury as a kid), doing a ton of walking all week, I noticed I never got sharp hip and knee pains that I get normally that almost down me every day at work or when going for a walk. I always try to ignore them and push through and continue what I'm doing. I assume that's fine and even get annoyed at myself for being so overreacting to it????? i'm suppsed to have high pain tolerance, right? i'm making a big deal out of nothing probably!!!!

but using it that whole week and finding that it helped makes me wonder if I should get my own???? not that I really go anywhere and I can't use it at work because I have to use my hands the whole time. (or is that attention seeking behavior? I know using one draws negative attention because people are assholes about that stuff. but it's still attention. am I secretly wanting attention???) I also wonder if i'm experiencing more issues than I think. like have I gotten so used to ignoring things that it's actually worse than I think? am I a walking imposter syndrome? i've heard you can dull your own sense of pain by ignoring it long enough and being autistic with sensory issues can also cause a reduced sense of pain. it seemed like being around other disabled people and people who actually paid attention to me meant people noticed me struggling more than I notice, if that makes sense?? but I don't know i'd I am truly struggling or i'm unconsciously making it up????

when I was on my way home walking through the airport, I thought I was doing fine. yeah, I was going slower than everyone else and leaning on my rolling carryon luggage, but i'm sure I was fine......I must have looked like I was struggling. a man driving one of those little transport vehicles through the hall stopped and asked if I was ok. I said i'm fine and he insisted I get on and he take me down the rest of the very long hall. he got to the end where it splits and I needed the opposite way he was headed so he called for someone with a wheelchair to scoop me up and take me to my gate and wouldn't accept a no.

I thought i'd be fine shuffling the hour long layover I had to the opposite side of the airport to my gate, but turns out I made it a minute after boarding time started even with other people running me through on wheels double the speed or more i was going myself. I may have missed my flight if I kept shuffling on my own.....

even though it was a lot of help, I still felt bad, like I was taking up resources from people who really needed it. I never considered myself physically disabled despite my weird joint issues, weakness, chronic pain, lack of balance and coordination, etc. it was a lot of help, and like I said, I may have missed my plane without it, but I still felt really bad and still do, like a fraud, like I was wasting something others needed more. I just feel like my struggles aren't enough to warrant any thpe of disability aid, if they can even be considered struggles at all. I felt like i'm an able person being fake and taking something that doesn't belong to me, wasting resources that aren't meant for me, despite it not being me who chose it or asked for it. I tried to refuse, but it was given to me by someone who seems to have felt I needed it????? should I have rejected it more and tried to be more insistent on being fine? (though i'm not sure i'd be capable of that since I was overwhelmed and my autistic brain can barely handle airports....so talking at all was kind of out of the question)

i really feel like I don't need or deserve help like that! I need to deal with it on my own and ignore it, right? others have it worse! it's not that bad. I can deal with it on my own. maybe i'm being dramatic about any pain and stuff i'm experiencing and need to suck it up and stop complaining. It's not bad enough to even mention it! maybe i'm unconsciously trying to get attention or something like that. unconsciously looked like I was struggling for some kind of attention or something (despite trying to always shrink and hide myself in public to be left alone, especially when sensory overwhelmed). I hope I didn't impede anyone who needed and deserved help more than me 🥺😔

#lee rambles #disablity #hypermobile eds #disabled #i dont know what to tag this but if anyone wants to share their opinion i'll allow it #tell me if you think i did bad and stole resources from people who need it. am i a fraud? and i horrible for not being able to reject?#how do i stop limping around and look find instead so it doesn't happen again? 😔 why do i feel sl bad about this? 😭#look fine*#am i an abled asshole who is overreacting and taking up space i dont deserve? 😭😭😭😭😭#do any actual disabled people ever feel like this?#i truly genuinely feel like a fraud who wasted people's time and resources and feel bad and cant stop 😭#i'm sorry if anyone thinks this way too. i didnt mean for this to happen 😔#also im not proofreading this. too tired. so apologies if typos or things dont make sense or i repeated the same things D:

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sapphic-woes · 2 years

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The more and more I think abt the roomie thing the more it makes no sense

#so now she hangs out without asking of i wanna come which is fine by me #she literally just asked if i was okay like. the next day and i said yea and then she just walked away so #ig her whole thing abt understanding i had an ed rlly was just only cuz she had no other friends #now she can just throw me in the dumpster lmao #but. also she insisted and asked like over and over that day it happened if i wanted her to come as like emotional support #when I initially told her it was okay not to #and then when i cave. cuz obviously doing this alone is scary and i say yea yk it would be nice #shes!!! frustrated!!! with me!!!#like im sorry you feel the need to help even when it inconveniences u but u cant get mad if u ask over and over until i tell u to come #i and i heard her talking on the phone and it was smth like 'well if shes mad then...' and i didnt hear the rest but it gave me like #if shes mad i didn't support her oh well #and its not?? that??? its this weird pitying??? id didnt even ask for!#like she acts like i was expecting her to drop everything and help me when i literally told her she can enjoy the game. like. literally #if this is like an excuse to throw me away then ok but this literally wouldn't have been an issue #if she had just said smth lik #'okay but im here if u need me' or smth #cuz now i feel like she thinks i think im entitled to her help #but I NEVER ASKED FOR IT

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medium-rare-bimbo · 10 months

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Stepbro!Eddie who’s started innocent!reader in a habit they can’t break.

At nighttime Eddie will always come to give you his goodnight kisses. At first it was to your head, then your cheek, then your lips. And then one night, Eddie turned his goodnight kisses to his princesses very favourite place.

Eddie is sweet with you though. And he’ll give you a goodnight kiss properly, and then kisses down your body, until he’s giving your clit their goodnight kiss too. Which usually makes you pout and grab his hair and ask him for ‘just one more kiss? Please Ed’s?’ And then more and more and more kisses, because the others weren’t enough. You don’t just want little pecks, you want proper kisses off of Eddie down there.

And now sometimes Eddie won’t come into your room for your goodnight ritual. In a pervy way he loves making you come and ask for it... You’ll have to go get him, and demand your goodnight routine, because you can’t fall asleep without it. And Eddie will, of course, apologise for forgetting/not coming to say goodnight

Nonnie !!! You're so smart I love your brain I just want to take it out and MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!!! <3<3<3

♡Masterlist♡

MINORS DNI

༺*:ﾟ･✧･:*:ﾟ･♡ readmore ♡･ﾟ:*:･✧･ﾟ:*༻

Omg!! He so would!! Hed bully you for it too :((

"I already gave you so many kisses you dont need another"

"Noo eddie please just one more I promise I wont ask for anymore"

"but I gave you kisses everywhere baby if I kiss you anymore my lips are gonna fall off"

He makes you beg for them because he loves the pleading look on your face, he loves the way you need his kisses right after you cum not caring about the juices covering the lower part of his face only caring about his lips on yours.

Sometimes he even makes you cum until you pass out from exhaustion, in the morning he teases you about it!!

"I told you you didnt need anymore kisses you passed out on me last night"

"M'sorry didnt mean to"

" maybe I should limit your goodnight kisses?"

"No! Eddie dont!! please :(("

He would definitely miss out on your bed time routine just so you come crawling to him, hes wearing nothing but his pyjama pants shirt long forgotten on his floor, his hair messily thrown into a somewhat of a ponytail/bun with a joint hanging out his mouth

"Edddie.."

"Whaaaat?"

"You didnt come to kiss me good night.."

"Sorry baby but I'm just so tired (hes not) plus You dont need kisses you're a big girl, go to bed"

"Yes I do!! :(( I cant sleep otherwise and I wont have sweet dreams"

"Fine come over here"

He pats his bed motioning for you to sit but soon changing his mind and pulling you into his lap, he takes the joint from out of his mouth putting it in the ash tray on his bedside table. His arms lazily thrown around your body, he stares at you with his head tilted and an eyebrow raised and a sly smirk on his face

"You need kisses that bad?"

"Yeah.."

"How about you kiss me goodnight"

"But what if you fall asleep during my kisses and then I cant have any kisses"

"Guess you'll just have to wake me up then"

You start by kissing his head then his cheek then his nose then his mouth, the same way he does, your kiss is soft you're not meant to take control and it shows, eddie however doesn't try to deepen the kiss instead he pulls away chuckling as your lips try to follow to his.

"How about you kiss me in the way i kiss you?"

"I just did"

"Not talking like that baby"

He grabs you hand and slowly guides it towards the crotch of his pants letting you feel the semi hard on he has right now.

"Want you to kiss me right here and then I'll give you all the kisses you want, 'kay baby?"

You nod shuffling down his bed to be eye level with his crotch, he reaches down and pulls out his cock, its intimidated. Long thick and pierced it looks like a monster and your slightly over whelmed. Eddie puts a hand in you hair holding your head in his palm as he begins to instruct you

"You think you can give me a kiss? Right here, want you to treat it the way I treat you okay?"

"Uh huh"

Using his hand as leverage he let's you take your time on his cock, small kitten licks are given from you, your doe eyes peering up at him to see if you're doing a good job. You suckle at the vein under his head noting the groans coming out of him

"That's it baby, you doing so well f'me, s'good at this"

He makes you swallow his cum and then kisses you not bothered about you cum stained mouth. He even lets you sleep in his bed (only so he can hump you during the night/morning)

#nymph talks #nymph loves her nonnies #eddie x reader #dark eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #tw: stepcest

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veryberryjelly · 4 months

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humour me

carmen berzatto x fem!reader

cw : fainting, mentions of previous ed, 1 use of y/n [ im sorry ]

𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

the bear could be the most chaotic place on the planet.

especially as a server, it was inescapable.

going back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room, two stressful locations that you continually switched between.

it could sometimes be quite dizzying. especially when you hadn't stopped to eat anything all day.

this morning when you left your apartment you just thought you'd grab something on your way out the door, but you didnt.

then you just put the thought of eating out of your head for the rest of the day.

old habits die hard.

when you arrived at the bear, there wasnt a moment to stop and think about it again.

but suddenly it was like every yell for service was being called underwater.

you had to focus really hard on trying to get everything out to the tables in one piece.

but on one trip back to the kitchen, your pale face and slow steps caught the attention of carmen as he made a trip to the fridge.

" hey, you okay ?" he questioned, ignoring the fact that he definitely had a lot more pressing things to do than to check on you.

his question, while simple, took a long time for your brain to register.

logically you knew he had asked you something, but you couldn't figure out what it was or how to answer it.

before your brain could catch up to the real world, everything went dark.

the last thing you recalled was a pair of hands on your waist.

you expected to rouse to the feeling of cold tile against your cheek, but instead it was a scratchy fabric you didnt recognise.

the light wasnt fluorescent, rather warm and coming from across the room as opposed to the ceiling.

as the room came in to focus, as did a figure sat across from you.

carmen.

you weren't sure if this was going to be a pleasant interaction or not, though the slight fondness you recognised in carmen's eyes gave you hope.

he said nothing, instead just standing from his chair and offering you a glass of water.

you moved to sit up on the couch, taking the water from him and taking a few sips as he sat down on the other end of the couch.

he waited until you stopped sipping at the water until he spoke up.

" what the hell happened ? " he questioned, clearly wanting to know why you had just collapsed in the kitchen.

" probably just got a bit hot. " you didnt really feel like telling him you hadn't eaten today, or yesterday now that you thought about it.

" it's 40 degrees outside " he countered, to which you didnt really have an answer. " is everything okay ? "

you figured this might be coming. carmen was one of the few people who knew about your previous issues with food, so it was understandable that he was worried you had fallen back into old patterns.

" everything's fine, carm. i just havent eaten today. that's it. " you tried to brush it off as though it was nothing, but from the way carmen was looking at you, he wasnt letting you off that easy.

you reached over and took one of his tattooed hands in yours, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

" i promise, i'm good. i'll grab some food at home. "

" let me make you something here "

" you don't have to do that carm, i'm f- "

" humour me " he cut you off and you couldnt say no to him.

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eddiemunsonhotgf · 2 years

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A PEN? smut & fluff.

tw - dubcon. please do not read if this is triggering to you ♡ take care.

slightlyperv!eddie & innocent!reader and how they met ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

maths class.

it was 10:30 am. someone taps your shoulder. it caught you off guard - it was rare honestly! usually the boy who sits behind you in class is never there, starting some trouble out of school (or maybe even inside).

you turn around and there he is. eddie munson, the myth, the freak. you didnt't really care about others' reputations and what people have told you about him, you were a sweet girl that never judged a book by its cover and was willing to let everyone get a chance, of course he was no exception.

he had this dark and rough facade that contrasted pretty funnily with your skimpy and pure exterior (which matched the your inner-self). its pretty funny watching that from a third point of view.

"hi. um.. do you have a pen?" eddie asks. catching you off guard.

you were pretty surprised by him asking you for a pen, assuming it would be used to take some notes of the problem that was being resolved on the white board by the teacher. he didn't really care about maths. fairly, he was doing this cause he noticed you & wanted to get to know you a little bit better.

oh nono! he didnt just notice you now. as mentioned before he was never there, to be fair, he was only going to school: 1. cause he wanted to be a good boy for his uncle (or at least pretend to be one), and 2. cause of hellfire club. the few times he was actually at school, maybe eating lunch with his D&D cult or just messing around in the hallways, he noticed you.

eddie was observing you and... a part of you understood you were feeling agitated and shaky as a result of his intimidating and demanding gaze.

he manages to let out a "thanks, sweets" with the characteristic raspy and cocky tone he has.

"how's the problem going, eds?" unwary of the nickname you just gave him. no one really called him that. eds. it resonated inside his head, like it had some reverb special effect. you were so sweet. eds. eds eds eds.

"oh-uhm?" god, he was so embarrassed. he wasnt paying attention to the maths problem that was on the white board at all, he was focused on your plump lips all this time. red colour rushing to his head. "pretty good... i'd say" he wasn't going to give up. not when a pretty girl like you (his crush) decides to talk to him, he didnt want you to have a first impression of him being a pervert, thinking about how those pretty lips would look wrapped around his cock. he decided to act all natural.

"hm! that's good. what do you think the solution is?" you whisper, trying not to get caught by the teacher. who would kill you if she saw you not paying attention in class.

shit.

shit-

"mrs. y/l/n stop interrupting the class. if you have any doubts, raise your hand and i will help you. that's what im here for. now please shut your mouth and be respectful to the rest of the class that tries to pay attention"

saved by the bell.

the teacher says loudly in front of the whole class, having enough of the small talk of you both. now everyone is looking at you, confused by the position of your body, turned towards eddie munson.

"sorry ma'am. it wont happen again." eddie felt incredibly bad. your eyes even started to get teary. not because of all the sudden attention, it was because one of your favourite teachers just called you out in the middle of the class.

"it's okay. it's okay, angel. don't worry. she just called you out okay? no tears." eddie whispered into your ear as you turned towards the board, now facing the teacher with eyes full of humiliation and soon tears.

somehow his kind words helped reassuring you that everything was going to be fine, that you didn't need to pay any mind to it.

25 mins have passed by. it's the end of the class. you hurry and pack all your things before the teacher can say anything to you. leaving you folder out so you can grab it and hide your body with it, as a sign of embarrassment. you were so uncomfortable at what happened before that you didnt want to look at her face, not for today. or you will probably end up crying. again.

you rush yourself to the bathroom, but before you do, there's something pulling you in, almost like an invisible string. you recognised him by the tattoos.

"e-eddie. i need to go." you mutter.

"why don't you spend some time at the cafeteria with me, y/n. we can talk if you'd like to, sweets" he says.

his voice felt so soothing, soft as a foot can fall. you couldn't help but say yes, you even had a 10 minute break in between classes, so it looked like the golden opportunity to disconnect for a little. even if it were only 10 minutes.

he was grateful that you walked in front of him, not only cause of the view but you helped him remember the path to the cafeteria. sincerely, he never really got used to how the school was organised. it was a mess. cafeteria over there. bathrooms over there. a mess. plus he was never there, only for his D&D appointments and starting some trouble.

he couldn't help but notice the little jumps you do while you walk, specially when you're walking fast. how your pigtails bounce up and down as you stroll. how your skirt would rise up and hint at those pretty, tiny, pale green shorts that covered your ass.

no, not here. not now. he was feeling himself grow hard as he imagined what there was underneath them. the prettiest panties he'd ever imagine covering your puffy cunt. stop it, munson, she's giving you a chance - he thought.

you grab him by his arm swiftly and pull him to the first table you see. as you both adjust to the table, you take out the lunchbox you always carry in your bag in case you feel hungry, or if anyone ever needed some food. really adorable how you always tried to help everyone. you asked him if he wanted a cookie. "homemade cookies? come on eds!" you say with a pouty frown. he couldn't resist. although he wasn't hungry for any cookie. he was hungry for something a bit... different!

"okay. okay! ...mkay. i'll try."

he watched your fingers as they tried to break the cookie into tinier pieces so he could try one, just in case he didn't like it so you wouldn't have to throw away all the cookie. he noticed your manicured nails and couldn't help but think about how cute your hands would look wrapped on something else. they were so tiny that he was curious how they would look compared to his big, girthy cock. everything about you made him absolutely melt. his crush on you definitely grew bigger today. you brought homemade cookies. no one does that. lovable.

you offer him a tiny piece.

"good girl. thank you." you grew red as those two first words came out of his mouth. he didn't expect those to come out of his mouth neither, if he was being totally honest to himself, it was just like a reflex. "who made these? you? your dad? your mom? hmm." he speaks munching on the piece of cookie you gave him, watching you grow red. he was trying to change the subject cause if you kept acting like that he wouldn't be able to contain himself and make you take his cock in the middle of the cafeteria.

"i m-made them! sorry if they are a little bit burnt... i think they taste-"

"it's okay, y/n. you know... its a really big detail you always carry cookies in your bag. in case anyone needs them... really sweet. literally" he says with a big smile on his face and his honeyed tone, he was being really sweet, you didn't understand why people made weird rumours about him. you giggle at his joke.

"oh! its no big deal! i like helping people"

"you do?"

"hm!" you respond almost immediately. of course you did.

"so... you wouldn't mind helping me with maths homework?"

"of course, eds! how can i help you with maths? do you need me to re-explain the problem? if that's so i-" eddie cuts in.

"i was thinking if i could come to your house so you can give me extra maths classes. if you want to... of course." he says boldly with a grin on his face. if he could offer to just fuck you and make you cream around his dick. sucking him in with your pussy. but he wanted to take things slow. for those 10 minutes.

"oh! i would love to help but... my parents wouldn't like me to have any boy in my bedroom. they never allow me to. 'm sorr-"

"don't worry, you can come to my trailer. after school. i'll drive us there 'mkay?" he had so many things in mind. he grew more excited.

"oh okie! i think that's better!"

if anyone saw you both right now, sitting at the lunch table, when no one else was in the cafeteria, they would've probably started a rumour that you two were dating. you both looked like a sweet couple. only if eddie wasn't a freak.

classes pass by rapid and you can't help but think about the sweet boy, eddie. your adoration for him grew pretty fast, the young man was trying his best at school and he saw help in you. he had such a likeable and warm personality. you loved how that went against his appearance - this metal head that could kill you with a look, personality warm as a prayer in paradise.

the bell rings. your daydreams get cut off by the obnoxious sound. you hurry and pack your bags. as you stepped out of the front door at school you saw eddie's infamous van. there were so many nasty, unholy rumours about what he did inside there, but again, looks and rumours are deceiving, one sees clearly only with the heart. and... oh! you were so wrong!

eddie helps you get out of his van. such a gentleman! - you thought.

"oh- woops!" you say as you almost fell to the ground. you weren't used to the height of general vans and getting out of his was a little bit difficult.

"don't worry. uh- gotcha." he says helping you, grabbing you by both of your hands and making you do a little jump as you get out.

eddie thanked gravity at that moment for the view he was able to look at. the breeze making your skirt flip up a bit, enough to see your cunt covered by the shorts that made him crack. his breath getting heavy watching your tits bounce as you fall on your feet to the mushy ground.

he even opens the door for you. what a gallant boy. his body language letting you come inside. he was so excited. so excited to corrupt you. get his hands on you.

he guides you and lets you in what it looks like his room. it was a bit messy you weren't going to lie, but as soon as you stepped in, he made an attempt of fixing up his room, noticing the mess it was.

"sorry for the mess. i didn't expect anyone here." he didn't expect it but he fantasized about it. especially you. so many nights he spent up, masturbating and jacking off to the thought of you. you made him crazy.

he said he needed to go to the kitchen to grab some drinks, and you would've thought he was going to offer you a cup of water. instead he offered you a beer.

"no thanks! 'm not allowed to." you speak.

"your parents aren't here. taste it. just a sip. come on!" making you drink already? he was going pretty fast corrupting you, huh?

"hmm" you shook your head as a sign of disapproval. he was making the biggest puppy eyes ever. "o-okay." you obeyed and took a sip. not liking the bitter taste of it at all. "don't like it, eds." you manage to say honestly.

"it's okay" he grabs the bottle and lets it on top of his desk, where you were positioning yourself grabbing an extra chair to help him with his maths homework.

he sits on his chair, opens his backpack, and takes out his 'notes'. they were all doodles. by the look, you assumed they were all D&D characters, they were fantasy creatures. you never knew the boy could draw.

"wow!... these are amazing, eds!" making him blush as you praised his skill.

"t-thank you, y/n. soo..." he clears his throat, making his best effort to change the subject and not sit there and flush for the whole day. "can you explain to me what the teacher was doing? i got lost at some point and i was too lazy to catch up."

"of course! look..."

as you analysed the problem with him, you noticed something warm at the very end of you back, the lower part. it was a hand, his hand. you were getting hot and fuzzy over his gesture, and he noticed. he loved it how such little things affected you so much. you decided to speak up, not knowing why it affected you so much.

"e-eddie. stop it. please." you mutter.

"what do i need to stop doing? rubbing your back? its my way to thank you for helping me, pretty girl." he loved making you feel this way. taking advantage of your innocence.

"i c-can't concentrate."

"you're not the one that needs concentration, remember? i was the one that needed the problem re-explained. hm." he bit his lip. restraining himself from kissing you and making you make a mess all over his room. he was trying really hard, literally. looking at you like a predator looks at a prey.

"but, i-i-" your words got delayed by his interruption.

"no, but's, now. explain it." he was being so cold now, his warm personality disappearing and vanishing away like a tale that is told.

"i-i can't. 'm feeling really lightheaded, eds." you say, the embarrassment could be heard from your words.

"do you need help?" eddie says. taking it as a not-to-be-missed.

"please." you plead and nod with you head.

"where do you need help, angel? i will try my best to make you feel good." the noises you were letting out of your mouth as a sign of frustration, high pitched sighs, god, were making everything ten times more difficult.

"you shouldn't be touching me. i-i dont think- that's good." you were afraid. you've never done anything like this before, not even close. you knew your friends did that with their boyfriends. eddie wasn't your boyfriend, you got to know him, today.

your cheer friends always talked about how they would suddenly get hot and excited and how their boyfriends helped them with that. it all sounded so vulgar to you, not really understanding why would anyone get aroused after anything, not comprehending the arousal itself - but that's the thing. they got needy after a make out session with their boyfriends, dry-humping over the clothes or maybe something even further. but you didn't know that, your innocence and imagination weren't helping you understand either.

"my-my friends do this with their boyfriends. you're not my b-boyfriend." awe. the guilt tripling all over your body. if only you could let him be your boyfriend. he dreamed about it.

"but i'm your friend, y/n. i want to help you. let me help you... i promise i'll make you feel good." he was so close. please.

"promise m-me we're not doing anything bad?" you looked up at him, tears forming in your eyes, almost getting out and falling over your face. he placed his thumb over your cheek, not letting your tears out. his hand was so warm, reflecting the hot temperature of his body onto yours.

"i promise." of course he wasn't going to say that what you both were about to do was something unholy, forbidden. not now. "i can make this more fun." he suggested.

"hm?" you say with a mix of confusion and neediness.

"i could help you, and make you feel better, while you help me, and make me feel better. do we have a deal, princess?" the nickname influencing on your choices, making you nod and plead for his help.

"good girl" he says. "would you let me take these shorts off? i think that's where you need the help. don't you, angel?"

"y-yes,eddie" you buck your hips to let him take the stretched fabric that covered the bottom half of your body.

"i'm keeping these to myself." you didn't even hear that, you were so aroused and titillated, you just needed him to make you feel relieved. he put them in a drawer that was next to his desk.

as he turned towards you he noticed. you weren't wearing any panties. fuck.

"so no panties? i thought you were a good girl. guess you're a slut." you whined as the words came out of his mouth.

"n-no one, wears panties w-with these" fuck, fuck, fuck. you even did practice with no panties on? god.

"aw, you think i care? you're a slut." he wanted to push you to the edge, he wanted to make you cry. and so he did. you looked up at him with your doe eyes full of wrong and lust. "don't look at me like that, i'm helping you."

"y-you're being m-mean-"

"but don't you like that? hm? i think you like it. this tells me you're enjoying it as much as i am" he says as he feels your wet cunt. you let out a high pitched moan out of your plump lips.

now he's taking his clothes off and you're really confused. you were about to do what your friends told you they did with their boyfriends. you trusted eddie, but you didn't want to feel guilty for doing that with someone that wasn't your boyfriend, so, in a rush you decided to ask.

"eds, d-do you wanna be my boyf-" he didn't let you finish, rushing his face to yours and kissing you. covering you pretty mouth with his. biting your bottom lip.

"yes, yes i want to- fuck, you don't even know how many times i've dreamed about this." you were so happy at his words. not really expecting him to say yes. he didn't even want to corrupt you anymore, not for today. although he'd soon have something planned.

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊

sorry to leave it like this ! i'm planning to continue this as a series and i wanted to make an introduction for them, how they met and everything ! dw ! i know it's not really smutty :( but i wanted to end this as fluff ! i feel like perv!eddie is such a fluffy individual too and everyone ignores it !

if u enjoyed it don't forget to reblog or like ^-^ it helps sm !!! mwa mwa mwa <3

#eddie munson #perv!eddie #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #joseph quinn #innocent!reader #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn x reader #stranger things smut #eddie munson fluff

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arsenicflame · 7 months

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im just endlessly frustrated with the way Stede and Ed learn something and then Immediately forget it again

we went from Stede not caring about The Swede having scurvy to learning to care for his crew at the end of s1 when they stand up for him, but then ignores their opinions on Ed, he has to be told to ask Lucius how he is, and he seems to genuinely care! then we get him letting the crew kick Ed off the boat but asking them to accept him back only a few hours later! as if anything's changed!

and Ed- he has this conversation with Fang, where he earns a real forgiveness, where he finally sees eye to eye with someone he's truly hurt- but do we get that with anyone else? NO! we get some bitchy comments to Izzy and that's it! he should have learnt the results of having a sincere conversation

Stede had that whole thing about talking to Low's crew about how they feel, but then when it looks like Olu and Jim and Archie are gonna leave he forgets about their feelings and only focuses on his personal offence!!!

how many times are we going to repeat this cycle?

#its just!!! so frustrating #i want to like them i want to!!!! but they never fucking learn #how many times have we had the stede discovers empathy arc #ed is honestly way less bad than stede in this regard but its still frustrating that we have to see this happen over something so important #ed made reparations. to people whos lives he didnt effect.#and then the crew threw a party and 'he' changed poison for positivity or whatever the fuck #he still hasnt actually said sorry to anyone other than fang and no i am not counting that sorry about your leg #SAY IT TO HIS FACE #not while youre walking away!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #edward teach #stede bonnet #its just like. fuck dude we could be past this if you just learnt your fucking lessons?#if you realised other people exist in this world aside from you?#that this isnt your playground each and every person here has their own lives; their own thoughts and feelings?#urgh

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cadmusfly · 2 months

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Let's Judge The Signatures Of Dead Frenchmen - Marshals of the Empire Edition

plus some bonuses at the bottom

This is a shitpost I've just wanted to do ever since I noticed Masséna's signature.

I know signatures are not meant to be legible, god knows mine isn't, but look at it, it's all the same letter!

I'm lazy so I'm only going to judge the ones on wikimedia and a few extra from letters, sorry to Marmont and others who did not get their signatures scanned and then made transparent for osme reason who is going to forge a dead frenchman's signature

Of course Bessières has a nice one:

Berthier is also pretty nice:

Loopy! Wait as has been pointed out to me, that could be an Alex. Did anyone ever call him Alex or Al

I love Lannes' because he circles his name!

A fancy guy like Murat's gotta have a fancy one, right?

Nice but not as loopy as Berthier's, honestly not the fanciest here

Davout has a nice legible one

Let's look at Soult's-

Woah, he's taking up a bit of space there! Where are you going with that t, champ?

Augereau is nice and straight I'm in awe as someone physicalyl incapable of writing in a straight line even on lined paper

Mortier is also really nice!

but also Ed Mortier. He called himself Ed. Do you think his friends also called him Ed or perhaps Eddie

MacDonald is Massena tier

can you guess who this next one is

hint: not french

Lefebvre's goin for the loop:

Jourdan is all classical:

Cant find Bernadotte pre-kinging but dude why is your kingograph so large who transcribed it like this

@phatburd linked me St Cyr's and

Very nice!

Victor lets see

I think I see a V in there. And a treble clef.

Oudinot:

I can kinda make it out!

But anyway I've been saving the best for last.

I have no words for this artistic masterpiece by Marshal Michel Ney.

Is that an umlaut or an emoticon? What are the two lines doing - error of transcription or part of the actual signature? Why do the loops just keep on going????

Is he just self conscious of how short his name is?????

Bonus!

Eugène de Beauharnais how's your-

he just didnt know when to stop.

Junot:

circle! pretty circle! napoleon did say he has pretty handwriting

Duroc:

Man he turned that c into an underline

This was fun! Next I'll rate all their coat of arms of something

#cadmus rambles #napoleon's marshals #napoleonic era #napoleon's generals #cad rambles about dead frenchmen on main

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ddanthedumbass · 9 months

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Desire - mattheo riddle x fem! Nott! Reader

TW! Smut, s3x foul language, mention of drugs, alchol, ciggaretts, etc, 16+ (but if your underage read at your own risk) CRINGE WARNING, frendly arguments -- Author note I am delululu and have a severe case of mattheo brain rot so yea ：) this was a request (anonymous wanted more smut) I always take construction criticism, spelling/grammar/punctuation correction, and requests Enjoy<3 773 words 4,395 characters

Mattheo was tiered. Of everything. He was tierd of school, he was tierd of being treated like the devil because of his name, but most of all, ve was tierd of pretending to be your friend. He didnt want to be your friend. He wanted to be your boyfriend. He kept hinting he wanted to be more than friends, hitting on you, but you took it as wholesome, platonic behavior like hell.

"who is gonna drive? Y/N cant drive because she hasnt take lesson.'' The said, tossing his ciggarett into the bushes.

"theo, i dont want you to drive.'' You said, crossing your arms. Theodore rolled his eyes ''why not? I passed my motherfucking test like bruh''

"hmm, are you just gonna pretend you never crashed your buggatti into a tree because you were reading on wattpad?'' Mattheo asked, smirking.

"yes, and that was not my buggatti. It was draco's.'' Clarified theo, casually flipping mattheo off.

"guys shut up and fucking decide who will drive. I vote mattheo'' you said, raising your hand to show your vote. "I vote Mattheo too.'' Mattheo said, turning his head and smirking at Theodore ''sorry mate, you gotta sit in the back''

Theodore scowled ''son of a bitch.'' Mattheo smirked and said ''motherfucking son of bitch.''

"you both are a son of a bitch so get in the car'' you chided your brother and his bestfriend. Mattheo smiled fake apologeticly and opened the driver's seat door, but theo smirked and said ''your a whore''

-AFTER SIBLING ISSUES-

Mattheo started the engine and picked up his phone and made to pick a playlist but Theodore said: ''im in charge of the radio because I have to sit in the back'' Mattheo grinned ''i dont get it but bro here'' he handed Theo the phone. "just dont play Ed Sheeran''

You frowned, knowing theo and not wanting to listen to Melanie Martinez, but Mattheo smirked and, when Theodore wasnt looking, angeled the mirror so that he could see under your clothes.

You opend your mouth to protest but Mattheo put a finger to your lip and winked ''shhh''. You frowned more still and pulled your knees to your chest.

Mattheo drove into the safeway gas station, the mirror still reflecting your legs. "fucker, my car dont need gas.'' Theodore mutterd. Mattheo rolled his eyes ''can you get the drinks from the safeway right here?''

Theodore nodded and pushed the door ''mattheo riddle onlock the door.'' Mattheo grinned sheepishly and unlocked the door. "firewhiskey'' he added ''i'll text you when you can come back.'' Theo rolled his eyes ''wow, now im getting locked out of my own car?'' He asked

"dont act like i didnt pay for half your car rent shit, idk what its called'' he said, smilling a genuine smile and patting Theodore's shoulder when he saw the hurt look on his face. "this is the only ill lock you out promise''

As soon as Theodore shut the door, mattheo was ontop of you. "w-what are you doing..?'' You stutterd as Mattheo's hand traveled around your body. He gave you a boyish smile. "what does it look like im doing, angel?'' His hands now playing with your bra strap.

Before you could react, Mattheo was undressing you, leaving marks as he went. When he was done, Mattheo tossed your clothes into the driver's seat and thrusting his fingers into your cunt, waisting no time, pausing only to look at what ws between your legs.

"M-mattheo w-why..?'' You gasped quietly but he kissed you and said: ''shh, princess, pay attention.''

Mattheo's hands went to his jean zipper and yours went to his his button-up shirt. Mattheo's clothes were soon in the driver's seat aswell and he was ontop of you again.

He shoved his cock inside you, quickly pushing and pulling, his hand tangled in your hair and his other pinning yours onto the car window. You moaned as Mattheo's thrusts became rougher, feeling you pussy go numb.

You saw the people giving you and Mattheo the 'what the fuck' look, but you didnt care. All you could think about was Mattheo and Mattheo alone. "fuck..! " you moaned, arching your back.

Mattheo's lips pressed against yours again, tasting of acrid ciggarett smoke and sugary honey. You felt Mattheo's toung on your lips and you happily opend your mouth, letting his toung dance with yours, spilling saliva.

When your lips parted, leaving a bitter-sweet taste on your toung, Mattheo immediately picked up your clothes and began putting his clothes on. "we dont want your brother feeling excluded, do we?'' He asked, smirking.

You smiled and put on your clothes.

#mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle #mattheo x y/n #mattheo riddle x reader #Nott! reader #fem! reader #Car #smut

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leincendiaire · 7 months

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anyways salty thoughts. dont expect me to be nice

this is the one problem not exclusive to the finale, god ed's character arc just. didnt do it for me at all. I excused it before cuz I thought it would pay off as the season went on but nope. he never had a genuine apology moment, just that youtuber apology like gag and the cat collar joke. like they literally show us how the crew was completely scarred by his actions but theyre later just completely fine with him on board???? and stede keeps being his biggest stan when I think he would have been like hey what the fuck!! im sorry I hurt you but I am not responsible for your actions and you hurt my crew whom I hold very dear!! I love ed but Fuck he really went too far those first episodes and he never makes up for it. they only ever focus on His Own self journey, not how he hurt and traumatized practically every other character.

"well, I think narratively izzy's death made sense but—" no!! no it fucking didnt!! im sorry but it was just lazy writing!! they didnt know what to do with him so whoops he gets shot in the dumbest way possible. like, this aint my first rodeo, it aint the first time ive seen a character start off on their character journey to happiness only for writers to give up on it and kill them off. it's a tiring fucking trope tbh and I really wish they hadnt fallen into this trap. like his death scene wasnt good either, if youre gonna do it at least focus on his relationship with the crew, you know, the people he came to accept as family? not the man Who Shot Off His Fucking Leg And Almost Killed Him? I know they had an important relationship but that shit should have been talked about way beforehand, it deserved closure. they should have acknowledged they werent good for each other and made peace with it. izzy deserved a death with people who actually made him happy. ALSO THEY BURY HIM ON FUCKING LAND?????? he spent his life at sea!!!! he is the most devoted out of everyone to being a pirate and you bury him next to your fucking inn???? fucking twats istg

lastly I swear they forgot stede is the main character. they forgot literally everything about how to write him. he gets No Focus in the finale, and every scene he is in is bullshit. I actually wanted to punch my screen every time there was a joke about him being incompetent or whatever. like, hello??? thought we left that shit in s1??? he had Multiple Episodes about learning to be a pirate and adjusting to his new life and gaining more skills but no. he is just silly old loserboy for his cool war criminal boyfriend now. literally no skills or experience whatsoever. ok sure yea thats totally how he acted the rest of the season. also the fuck is it with him staying behind to run the inn with ed?? wasnt the whole conflict last episode their different desires out of life, with ed wanting to start a normal life and stede wanting to be a pirate?? when the Fuck did he change his mind. who are you and have you done with my boy

honestly I feel bad because jenkins is actually a good writer and the whole fandom really expected a lot from a man making his second show, and I think there were a lot of budget cuts and production issues so I can see why it turned out this way. he is probably mad about this too, I bet the cast also, like even the acting in this episode didnt feel passionate, and thats saying a lot since these actors really love this show. im just frustrated. man. time to write fics ig

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #stede bonnet #edward teach #izzy hands #stizzy #gentlehands #gentlebeard #blackbonnet

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ludwigplayingthetrombone · 2 years

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OFMD Fix-it Part 2

Ayyy here’s part 2! Thank you so much for the incredible response to part 1! I read the tags and comments often y’all are too nice ;v; Enjoy all 69 pages! tw for blood and injury

Part one

kofi

Wee john: Fuck yeah! Roach: We took over Blackbeard’s ship!! Frenchie: Oh no! You dastardly pirates are too scary for me! I surrender!!

Stede: All good everyone! Crew: IS IT?? Stede: [gasp] Did you guys take back the ship?? Ed: You’re shitting me Stede: Excellent job, everyone!

Ed: Hey! Stede: Oh, sorry! I look forward to hearing about it! Ed: Please don’t crack your face again Buttons: Were yee crying? Both: WHAT?! No! Ed: I physically cant cry Stede: Why so you keep asking that? Crew: Captain! Stede: WAIT I’m not discouraging this energy, but please be careful of-

Ivan: What do you want us to do with Izzy, captain? Frenchie: OH FUCK THE KNIFE! Swede: PULL IT OUT! Roach and jim: NO!! [schluck] Pete: FUCK PUT IT BACK IN!! Roach and jim: NO!! Ed: Why disturb him? Sleeping so peacefully. I’ll deal with him later [schluck]

Pete: Where’s lucius? Stede: Yes, we’re missing lucius. Ed! Is the boy below deck? Pete: Did something happen? Frenchie: Oh yeah almost forgot! [knocking on the deck] Stede: What’s this, frenchie? Ed: Lucius is dea-

Lucius: OH THANK GOD! I was going mad in that wa-

Pete: Where have you been? Stede: Lucius! Good to see you, my boy! wee john: Cap’n... Lucius: I was hiding in a secret wall I’d found. Frenchie thought I was a ghost for about a week. Luckily the ship was a barnacled mess Frenchie: Still not convinced if I’m bein’ honest. Couldnt believe you’d survived, Stede: Survived? Pete: Why would you be a ghost, babe? Lucius: Because Blackbeard threw me overboard

Ed: A momentary laspe of judgement Olu: Oh shit

Stede: [knocks] Ed? [door unlocks]

Ed: Ship’s yours again. I can be gone- Stede: you’re leaving? Ed: I nearly killed lucius. Aren’t you upset? Stede: Absolutely livid, but you didnt succeed, thankfully! The atmosphere is tense, things are a little unclear, but they’re open to speaking. I’ve forgiven them for planning to kill me! Blows over quite fast, I’m sure- Ed: I’m a terrible person, stede. You don’t even-

Ed: Crew needed me. Wanted to help me. And I chose Blackbeard. All ‘cuz Izzy opened his FUCKING mouth ‘n backed me into a corner! Lucius would see right through it. I didn’t know what else to d- [flinch] Stede: It’s ok

Stede: Blackbeard is how you’ve been surviving. I understand that now. The only reason you were put in that position was because of my poor decisions. I promise I’ll be here no matter what to help us all get through this. Ed: Pull up the chair, I want my knife back Stede: Oh good finally...

Ed: So a big cat, a carriage accident, and a dropped piano? All at once? Fuckin’ hell, mate, you let ‘em have it. Though, I’d go as far to say the cat was too much. Stede: Whaaat? How could you say that about Ned? He did great. Ed: Just BITTER I wasnt there to see it

Stede: I’m sorry you had to do this again. I know you’re still angry...Ed: Wasn’t about being angry... not at first at least. Just felt.... sad. Really fucking sad, Stede. Didn’t know what to do without you here. None of us did. Felt... Like I just wanted to lay down and die Stede: I...I didnt think my absence would be felt this deeply

Ed: Oh shut- You’re not serious Stede: No, I’m serious. Mary and the kids were much happier when we were planning my departure fuckery. I genuinely can’t think of a time where someone missed my presence

Ed: Well fuck everyone else. Was the crew pissed when you said why you left? Stede: Very much so Ed: Then they missed you, cheers [mumble] I sure as fuck missed you Stede: You did? Sorry, Impulse. Ed: Lean up a bit Stede: I hop I can earn your trust back one day

Ed: Well, knowing about that Chauncey fuck makes me less pissed at you. Least you didn’t ditch me ‘cuz you didn’t want me around anymore. Stede: Oh no, I’ve liked you since the day we met. Ed: You did look hot bleedin’ out on the deck of that spanish ship. Stede: I’m choosing not to unpack that at this moment. Ed: All done up you go! [loud closed-mouthed scream] [ed repressing laughter] You good? Guts still in? Stede: [strained]I think so Ed: Lean on me til it passes

Thanks, did you sew me up the first time? Ed: Nah, that was fang Stede: That fang, beautiful work Ed: Go lay down. I gotta clean up your blood Stede: Again, sorry

Ed: If you apologize one more time for being stabbed, I’ll stab you again Stede: But it led to so much character development last ti- I’ll leave you to it then

Stede: Ah, is this my-? What’s it doing under th-

Stede: Forget I- Ed: No, that’s- I mean, it is yours... It doesnt even smell like y- JUST PUT IT ON

S: May I ask you-? E: shoot S: Why did you let me board the ship? E: I was tired of izzy nagging to blast you with the cannons. Kept talkin’ in my ear about you ‘n it just made me angrier and angrier. Got me so amped up to just fucking kill you the moment I saw you again. Thought I'd just be furious, but I felt... giddy? /hated/ that my chest was pounding, that just made me angrier

E: Then you show up with your tits out looking handsome as shit. S: hmmm [olu: One last thing, captain Stede: What is it, olu- RIP] E: I thought of it too. Leaving. Thought I’d get ahead before I disappointed you. Wasn’t itching for adventure, I knew I was in too deep with you S: I always thought I was disappointing /you/. I’m not the most exciting person E: Me?

E: Stede, you’re the boldest bugger i’ve ever met. Ever since i’ve known about you, you’ve made the most batshit ballsy moves. You took those English hostage, you swindled iz to get them back. you told blackbeard to go suck eggs in hell You stood up to the weird twins, to the English navy, to those richies at that party, to izzy, to jack, to ME. You’re the coolest, kindest person I know, Stede. I’m nuts about you. S: … guess I've never seen myself from that perspective E: If anyone else told me that story, i’d have them tied to the anchor for such a bullshit lie, but it’s you, so i believe it. Its as ridiculous as you are.

E: do you think I’ve ever gotten this upset over some quick drunk fuck parting ways? Only you.

S: Why only me, though?

E: You’re the only person that makes me feel… safe? Like I don’t have to be blackbeard 24/7. Most of my old mates were just dickheads who showed up when they wanted something the buggered off

Dont’ gotta worry about you stabbin’ me in my sleep cause i pissed you off. You don’t laugh when I talk about a fine fabric or a pretty looking teacup. I’ve told you things I thought I’d take to my grave because anyone else would throw it back in my face... But not you. I like your fire hazard, secret passage ship, your crew, when you talk about clothes ‘n book ‘n flowers. You don’t act like anyone else but you... And I envy that

Ed: Because it’s you

Stede: No one’s ever thought that about me... I’m sorry. Hah, I feel a bit dizzy. Ed: Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Lay down if you need [stede crying] Stede?

Stede: You’re the first person who doesnt think I’m a burden. My father, Mary, peers- My whole life- That I was selfish for being born [crying] Ed: Again, Stede, Feck ‘em

Stede: Meeting you was the best day of my life. I was so relieved when you- on the beach- Yuo looked so happy, and I destroyed that Ed: shhh

ed: It’ll be ok

Ed: Look at me. You came back

Ed: And that made Ed happ- IZ: EDWARD, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! [IZZY YELLING]

Ed:[calm] I’m sorry, Will you excuse me for one moment? Stede: Feel free! Ed: Thank-you [Izzy still yelling] [door slam] rapid steps]

[clattering above] [Izzy screaming] [crew cheering] foot falls approaching]

Ed: Now, where were we? Stede: ....Actually I do wanna know Ed: Let’s say, Bit too tied up to bother us again

[stede huffs a laugh] Ed: You look exhausted, you should rest. Pincushion gets the mattress Stede: oh no, I couldn’t. where are you sleeping? Ed: Perfectly comfortable desk right here. [pained moan] Stede: Right... Ed: Night, Stede

ed: I’ll steal a couch soon. ‘M too old to sleep on desks now Stede: I have no qualms [ed sighs]

Ed: Hey, stede Stede: Mm Ed: Can we.... Can we just forget about the beach and start over?

Stede: I don’t think I can this time, Ed. Ed: Slightly concerned you can forget me almost killing you but not a kiss Stede: I’ve decided to be done with running away from my problems and pretending they never happened. But beyond that, My whole world shifted with that kiss. I can’t ever forget that. The memory alone kept me rowing to get to you again

Stede: We’ve hurt eachother, but I’m more than willing to put in the work to mend it... Which is something I never did with mary. Ed: I wont stab you in the earhole by the way. Got mine out of he way. Stede: Only fair! We’re even now. Ed: But mine was funny [swat] [giggle]

Ed: Last thing, then you can sleep off the stab wound Stede: Oh good... Ed: If Blackbeard was gone for good, would you stay? Lotta folks want the novelty y’ know. ‘S been gnashing at the back of my skull. Stede: I met Ed first not Blackbeard

Stede: ‘M staying forever now. Best friends at first sight. From my point of view at least

Ed:...Olivia... How ya doin’, Iz? Iz: Are you fucking joking? Just tell me what’s going on

Ed: Stede won. Crew took the ship back. I’m staying. Oh and lucius is alive, as you saw. Kid said the ship was so mucked up, he was able to hang on to sneak onto the ship. Thought you handled that way back when? Iz: that fookin- Ed: So i’m giving you a choice.

Iz: Just cut my foot off at this point anything but this. Ed: why can’t you ever just relax, izzy? It doesnt have to go this way, yet you stomp your feet Every. Single. Time. How many years have we known eachother; do you even like my company? Iz: How could you even say that to me? I’ve given my life to you time and time again. And You’re going to let some tart waltz back in and uproot everything we built. Ed: Built what? We’re fucking pirates, mate!

Powertrip’s over. This is it. It was a good ride. Fang: Lucius! You’re missing this shit!! Ed: You may love waiting to end up like... another leather clad, middle aged sad sack dying alone in a puddle of his own piss, but you’re not dragging me there with you. So make a choice Iz: You’d really let me walk? Ed: Truthfully, i’d prefer you play nice and enjoy yourself for once. but I’ll give you three options.

Ed: Old way is gone. Either one, accept that and keep it pushin’. Two, I would just let you fuck off, but you’ve proven to be a liability out of my sight, so i’ll have fang cut your talk box, so you never speak stede’s name ever again THEN you can fuck off. And three, more of a clause to one,

Ed: If you go rogue, I’ll make you beg for hell. Threaten anyone on this ship again, You’ll never feel the warmth of the sun ever again

Ed: I’ll let you down if you behave

Iz: [despair sigh] just leave me up here a while longer. ‘S quiet for once. Ed: well alright, take some time to process. let fang know when you gotta piss Lucius: Bad morning? Iz: Yeah, keep staring, twat Lucius: That sounded threatening, right fang? Fang: He’s not above pissin’ on you, kid

Ed: [muffled] breakfast? [smack] Didn’t remember blackbeard snuck into your bed? Stede: No, I remember. Had to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating again. Also, once again, you’ve processed this very quickly

Ed: Were yee seein’ phantoms? Stede: No more guilt phantoms thank goodness. Was getting sick of those buggers. Ed: Love a good phantom. You seem less tightly wound. Glad you’re phantom free

Stede: Took awhile to realize, but This is where I belong. Ed: No fucking shit

Ed: Speaking of, Y’ know, I’ve thought on it, and I’ve decided I’m tired of being angry and sad and lonely. Fucking sick of it. Already stabbed you, no sense in wasting time acting mad when I know what I want S: And what is that? E: Wanna be liked and kissed and happy.

Stede: Perfectly reasonable things to- Ed: I also want to be co-captains with the gentleman pirate. [choke] I’m lying in your bed with you, stede. Who do you think’ll be kissing me? The swede? Stede: I didn’t want to PRESUME. Is this a new job role for co-captains? Ed: Is now! ‘S why I promoted you. But you’re still on thin fucking ice. Stede: Poor jim. Promoted in less than a day. Ed: Don’t actually tell jim. They’re super pissed at me Stede: oH Ed: Now, onto couch theft, I’m thinkin’-

Stede: You’ve got some- Ed: I get it? Stede: Not quite, just- Oh- fuck it

Ed: Dastardly man. Diabolical. Definitely not gentlemenly

Ed: Fuckin’ missed you!

End

#gentlebeard #blackbonnet #our flag means death #ofmd #my art

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