#stop that you little bastard

[rabbitprincessthief]

gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

#vaati #minish cap #loz #mc #he's my stupid little squeak squeak and i love him #meta #op #sorry this got long but i have So Many Words about this little bastard #i think he's a really fun foil to ganondorf tbh - #ganondorf looks like a brute force guy but in practice tends largely toward manipulating and long cons and cunning #the appearance of dumb muscle but is actually refined and clever and skilled while also still being built like a brick wall #vaati looks like a classic scheming squishy wizard guy but actually is just cheating and does almost all his nonsense very directly #and his plans tend to be either Do X / ??? / Profit stuff or barely exist at all #to the point where og four swords is gated primarily by your ability to convince great fairies to help you rather than vaati stopping you #ganondorf is a guy given power who wants a magic wish granting artefact #vaati is a guy given a magic wish-granting artefact who decides he wants more power now actually #vaati has had a significant minion approximately once (shadow link) and that was in shared custody with ganon

[quietwingsinthesky]

it’s that no one ever believed him that gets to me the most. this is a society of telepaths. and yet when the doctor finds out that the drums are real, he’s surprised. the master is surprised, elated, by the confirmation that he’s hearing something that’s really there, that this thing that’s been following him and hurting him for so long is real.

after a certain point, given that the master is Really Fucking Good at mind control and such, you have to imagine that no one could just pick up on the noise in his head with a little general telepathy. he had to choose to let the doctor in to share it. and. and okay. we need to put aside him striving to be The Best At Controlling People’s Minds in the context of him having his mind violated as a child because if i think about these two things in relation to each other i’ll throw up.

but there has to have been a point before he was so accomplished that he couldn’t have defended his own mind as easily. that he couldn’t keep someone, anyone, from delving into his head and hearing the drums. which means i must conclude, because we find out who put them in his head at all and it’s the most powerful guy on gallifrey, that when he was younger, the people around him did know. they could hear the drums. they could figure out what was done to him. but they did nothing, they said nothing, they told him he was hearing things. because if the lord president wanted to use a child for his own ends, who was going to stand up and stop him? easier to sweep it under the rug. and the master lived with that for so long that finally having just one other person hear the drums was a shock to him.

#very fun that this twist is. first of all great for end of time. but also can be used to recontextualize other bits of the master’s behavio #not even explain away but give extra meaning to. you know? #he hypnotizes people because if he can control them it’d damn well his right to do so and if they didn’t want to be mindfucked they should #have had better defenses. he’s the master and he came to conquer. and such. #but it’s also. this is now inextricable from the fact that his own mind was opened up and used against him as a child. when he couldn’t #possibly have defended himself. this past and his actions cannot be separated. #a man can have more than one motivation he can be both a little bastard who wants to rule a world because its his due since no one could #stop him. and also. it can be because there is no way to undo what was forced on him as a kid. but he can at least make sure nothing and no #one will ever control him again. he’s the master and you will obey *him*. never again the other way around. #the master #simm!master #doctor who

[vestaldestroyer]

y r u so goddamn cute

#authors have to stop making mass murderers adorable smh #how do you even expect me to defend this guy #'your honour there wasn't enough enrichment in his enclosure' #'hes just a silly little guy your honour' #me: i know tumblr is obsessed with fucking that old man but i prefer younger people #also me when they make quilby a petty little bastard baby #wakfu #wakfu spoilers #wakfu season 4 #wakfu qilby

[jennrypan]

The fact that Lucifer could've been cooler and yet she set for this. Midget loser type.

That's just Blitzo!!! He'd a fucking loser!! Get that bitch off the throne!!

Also..I swear if Lilith is..scarier than literally the king of hell I'm gonna lose my shit. You think Lilith would settle for some loser?? Be so fuckin fr.

(No I'm not watching the series, I refuse. I'm just going off clips and shit and so far.. 👎)

#j.p speaks #if you have a choice between making a scary character big and beefy ALWAYS CHOOSE THAT OPTION!!!!! #fuck!!@ stop making random characters skinny little pasty bastards!!! #it also happens to zeus and it makes me VIOLENT. #hazbin hotel critical #..im not tagging all the nonsense i wanna say

[wolffoxnation2]

Its Valentines day im gonna rewrite the cupid scene but Valgrace

:)

#pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson heroes of olympus #heros of olympus #leo valdez #wolffox speaks #pjo jason grace #jason grace #valgrace #Pjo Cupid #I dont think hes evil but hes a little bastard and i love that #Like bro this effects YOU stop tormenting the emo and give the dam scepter over #Honestly making him kinda a dick works because i fucking know how much a bitch love is

[lexyscross]

Man, TV Tropes is ripping Cassidy to shreds! They're comin' for 'lil man's edges! 😭😭😭

#I told my nephew about this and he said: ''Good. Little bastard.'' STOP!!! 😭😭 #Nah we're so mean to this poor kid fr. 🥺 #His actor did a great though! Good job 'lil guy! 👍🏽 #fnaf cassidy #golden freddy #golden freddy kid #the one you should not have killed #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf series #tv tropes #txt #fnaf spoilers #fnaf movie spoilers

[capn-twitchery]

some kind of irony that i can never draw twitch's eyes right. they're so determined to keep them hidden that it's breaking into the real world

#but i need them to stop it bc i'm trying to draw you a ref sheet you uncooperative little bastard #fredspeaks #also sorry to anyone else who follows only FL blogs bc i have been a lot of the dash tonight #it's been quiet lately so i am here to fill the void bc i have nothing better to do while i dogsit >:3

[crystalkleure]

Characters who are intentionally written to be horrible little bastard goblins: ✔️ Hilarious

Characters who are supposed to be viewed as being A Good Person in spite of them continuously doing horrible asshole things that would make any reasonable person fucking punch them IRL: ❌ Infuriating

#.It speaks #About me yo #I HATE THAT SECOND THING SO MUCH #INTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOVED. UNINTENTIONAL ASSHOLES MY BELOATHED. #The Goody Two Shoes Good Guy Protag @ their sad friend: ''Hey buddy! I am going to shame you for Not Being Happy!'' #''Don't you understand that that's rude to all of your friends? You're killing all of our vibes! It Is Morally Bad To Be Visibly Sad!'' #All of the other characters: ''Yeah!! What protag said!! We love you and forgive you @ Sad Guy but you need to stop being sad Right Now!'' #And Everybody Claps #Literal worst thing in the world. #Like it is DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT if the protag doing something like this has ACTUAL ACCURATE CONSEQUENCES #Like. Say. Sad Guy bottling too much up for too long and then eventually finally exploding in protag's face. #[And NOT being portrayed as Evil for doing so. Might be SEEN as evil by the protag but Is Not Narratively The Bad Guy For It.] #THAT does not bother me. Fuck yeah Sad Guy tell the emotionally abusive fuck and all their flying monkeys to eat shit. #BUT IF THE LITERAL ABUSED CHARACTER TRYING TO STAND UP FOR THEMSELF MAKES THEM THE VILLAIN OF THE WEEK/SEASON I'M MAD #You know? #Protag who THINKS they are Morally Infallible but is actually perfectly human and wrong/does bad shit sometimes: ✔️✔️✔️ #Protag who is a total penis and their dickheadery WINS every time it causes conflict; the /conflict/ is portrayed as unreasonable: ❌❌❌ #If you know me really well you can probably guess which specific two characters I am talking about #I hate both of those little bastards so much

[g1ngerbeer]

so i might have a problem.

#every fma art ive posted Has had the wretched man but know that this is only the tip of the iceberg. this is just the stuff i think is good #what ive posted is only the 10% of relatively sane drawings poking out above the surface of the hyperfixation ocean #im not kidding when i say i Cannot stop drawing him. my emotional support blorbo. #wretched little man. pathetic bastard. help #i'm like a shark if swimming = drawing roy mustang. if i stop i sink to the bottom of the ocean #unfollow me now if you dont want to see the Bastard 24/7. #ginger yells

[rawliverandgoronspice]

oh no I stopped working for five minutes and remembered I love he...................... ;;

#thoughts #ganondorf #I allowed myself a tiny “working on thralls outline” session #and I do love he a lot..... #trying to salute all the classics #the “will harm a child and will not even question whether that's a look” #the “absolutely unbearable cocky bastard with a dash of absolute pettiness omg shut uppppp” #the “actually scary and sadistic and morally bankrupt for real” #the “I love my people and resent my people but I won't explore neither emotion otherwise I will fall apart and there's no one to catch me” #the “the gods hate me???? fuck the gods then!!!! but like... the gods hate me or no? ;;” #the “I hate hylian monarchs so fucking much it's unreal I am going to shoot myself in the foot just because I hate them so goddamn much” #the “awww twinrova and he... they love each other <333 VS maams will you please stop injecting mental illnesses into your Big Son” #the “mutually destructive relationship with anyone who ever gets even a little close to him which 10000% includes his own people” #the “wouldn't it be fucked up and important to take gerudo objectification as an actual problem with complex psychological consequences” #the “Me A Problem with Masculinity or Men or gender? hahahahaha.... yea” #the “Impa buddy-hate trainwreck + Nabooru buddy-hate planecrash” #the “hmmmm no why is the hylian princess and I having a brief flicker of mutual recognition but we both know it's too late for amends” #and the “mystic crisis that will slowly but surely unravel a whole man if given enough time and grievances and Ls” #ANYWAY I like this story #it's wayy too ambitious for my own good #but

[rainyjackalope]

save me

#i hate this fucking thing #it haunts me #VEE PLEASE LET ME DRAW MY CHICKEN FURSONA I AM BEGGING YOU #they have a choke hold on my brain that I cannot seem to shake #i am so sorry for being slow on the sona challenge i cant stop just picturing this thing no matter what #i try to work on the others and i draw two doodles and then start drawing fluffy dragon bastards again #its their head shape....its so fun to draw.... #their little snout is so round and funky and their lil face is so fluffy #sigh #doodles #my art #i guess. #sona tag #sonas: rainy #sonas: vitri

[coffinbrain]

136649: i cast vicious mockery. nat 20 let's go.

136649: 🎶YOU'RE A SHORT MOTHERFUCKER AND NOBODY LIKES YOU🎶🪈

othello: 💀

136649: SHORT!

#othello: i didn't take your breakfast muffin okay. i didn't. it wasn't /me/. #136649: And How Did You Know This Was About That. #othello: WHY- HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW IT'S ME????? #136649: I Have Eyes Everywhere You Little Bastard. #othello: THE KITCHEN HAS 2035 PEOPLE GO THROUGH IT EVERY DAAAAAAAY #firm believer othello slighted UT with something like this unintentionally and it's been a bee in his fucking bonnet ever since #man got increasingly hateful with his job every day and othello just pissed him off at the right time and became a target #136649: i guess there is a god *BULLIES OTHELLO UNTIL HE ESCAPES* #i cant stop listening to perception check it's a Disease #there's this one animatic i keep watching on tiktok that made me think of these two i had to post it

[arkhavens2]

im having a lot of fun with my current durge playthrough that im affectionately calling "how evil can i be while keeping as many companions for as long as possible?" and the answer is: 1-none of my party members have left even in act 3, AND! i recruited jaheira even after murdering isobel—and thus, all of last light inn—in cold blood:D

this is the face of a maniac(affectionate)

#playing durge as a conniving Bastard who turns around and lies directly to his party members about shit is...really interesting. #batting my eyelashes at karlach and saying 'oh yeah were totally going to backstab gortash dw' knowing damn well im about to just. #gallivant off and 1- ascend astarion #2- become bhaal's favoritest little guy again #and 3-literally take over the elder brain #is just. #the game fully letting you LIE to your party and say #'im trying sooo hard to resist my urges:(( it really tears me up that i do these things and cant stop myself:((' #when im. actively making as many bad/evil choices as possible #is great. the rp? ohoho. im loving it #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 dark urge #baldurs gate spoilers #durge spoilers #<-vaguely #ive had to take breaks in a few places to go back to my resisting the urge playthrough to cleanse my palette. ascending astarion *hurt* but. #alas #my baby boy is so so evil. so it had to be done:(

[tiredassmage]

Lensen Ryaldar - aka my “ah fuck, I’ve fallen in love with this absolute bastard and his devilish good looks anyway” (despite many poor and questionable decisions) collection, KOTET edition and in no particular order.

#swtor #swtor screenshots #ch: lensan #srsly i cannot overstate that i have never loved and hated one of my ocs in such strong equal measures before #awful stinky bastard man. absolute jackass. terrible. so fiercely loyal to the few people he does somehow care about. #he's ride or die. he's sold out imperial trade routes to a close associate for smuggling operations. he's mandalorian #but also he's just a bounty hunter. he's a staunch loyalist to the empire. #like. sir. you do realize half of that contradicts? #honestly why didn't i run him thru the agent story at this rate tbh #with this many cross-purposes he'd be perfect and maybe i'm just a glutton yea? #fun fact: he started originally as cipher four ie a plant to keep tabs on the mandalorian alliance before i made him black ops #either way intelligence could fill a family of 5's grocery list with his bullshit tbh #'potential recruit. volatile. violent. also potentially extremely high-risk threat.' #that file would hit tyr's desk and i can already hear him sighing lmao #i really need to stop putting oc lore in the tags... #anyway part of the reason he hasn't gotten an agent run is honestly bc i can't see him without the facepaint anymore #tattoo. whatever you wanna call it. it just adds a little a lot of somethin lmao

[featheredomen]

Merry Christmas to anyone who celebrates!

Happy holidays to anyone who has a holiday this season!

And have a lovely day to anyone that doesn't have anything going on!

Everyone deserves to have a lovely time this December 25th, regardless of what you've got going! <3

Love y'all! Hope you have an amazing day!! ^.^

#feathers speaks #I'm a little tipsy but holy shit #my family finally found a game we can all get equally invested in #7 rounds of jenga later... #my parents have stopped admonishing my brother and i for swearing #and they're swearing at us now instead #the collective aggressive “YOU SON OF A BITCH” after each turn is MAGNIFICENT #mum won one #dad won one #i won one #my brother won 4 #that bastard #I'm ready to pass out but this has been a good Christmas #I hope everyone else has as good a time as I have #and for anyone who has to deal with family they'd rather not #I hope it's over quickly and they're quickly forgotten #have a good day guys <3