#suffering rn so bad from this

[treymeow]

I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF THAT THE LITTLE AUDIENCE IN MY HEAD ISNT REAL OH MY GOD

Please tell me I'm not crazy and other people get this too right??

#I have to keep reminding myself that its OK to draw sonic. Hes NOT lookinf over your shoulder and watching you draw cuz hes NOT real 😭 #Same with shadow #suffering rn so bad from this #AND IM DRAWING STUFF FOR MY OC AND THEYRE INTERACTING AND THE SONIC IN MY BRAIN IS JUST WATCHING AND IM EMBARRASSED FOR NO REASON WT HELL #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic #sth #little audience in my head driving me nuts #bananas even #kooky if you will

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

making sacrifices (walking to the library) to do transcendental things (write lonan crying)

#actually I feel very bad for him #the Autism is making it hard for him to regulate and I just wanna from a comfortable distance help him breathe thru it #meanwhile Harrison’s like WRONG I yell at him 😜🤪😝 #….. they’re so over rn #I thought Lonan was gonna be the one to break up with Harrison and I think I’ll keep it that way bc I think it’s funny to end a week of #suffering by going oh yeah and your boyfriend broke up with u #but also he’s soooooo upset rn so I’m watching from the sidelines…… #did not mean to tear them apart like this my badddd 👍👍👍👍 #me every book

[awellboiledicicle]

its all fun and games, all “your skin is beautiful <3 <3~!” positivity when eczema is an abstract “vaguely red rash” to someone.

Real easy to SAY someone looks good with eczema when your whole experience with the condition is “has some dandruff sometimes”.

Then someone will see your body half bloody and raw all over. They’ll actually SEE your scalp sloughing skin while you have big, angry red marks underneath. See the furrows your nails dig in the inflamed tissue, even if you’re trying to be so, so, so careful. They’ll see an eye swollen near shut while the lid peels. They’ll see the hunks of dead skin in your eyebrows, the flakes on your glasses, notice how the skin on your hands cracks.

Then it’s REAL. Then its a barely restrained ‘ew’ response. The fight to keep a straight face so they don’t show you how gross they think you are. Or worse, a look of pity.

Its really easy to slap together a positivity post when you don’t know that most of us don’t care about looking beautiful-- we’re way past that. We’re firmly in “would like for people to not react like we have the plague” territory.

#unrelated i am Suffering from a flare and i hate life so bad rn #eczema #The Horrors

[degenerateshinji]

DAY 1

I like it when they homosexually fight each other

#shin soukoku #bungou stray dogs #sskk #akutagawa x atsushi #akuatsu #bsd #atsushi nakajima #ryuunosuke akutagawa #art challenge #drawing challenge #guess who didnt know wtf to do w the background and added checkersss #“ill kill you!” “do i know you?!” #alternatively #“ill kill you!” “damn bro why're you pulling me close rn.." #suffered so much w this cause im going through artblock real bad #i legit almost lost this drawing because my program fucking crashed right when i finished but hadnt saved yet #also what the fuck is atsushi's hair am i really gonna have to draw this for 7 days bro how tf did harukawa do this for 105 chapters #expect the captions and tags to get longer from this day on

[demonsfate]

noticed one of the reasons tek8 is rated T is for "suggestive themes"

now i'm curious to see the scene(s) that is considered suggestive.

#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc) #// i don't recall any suggestive themes in the beta #// but i'm also suffering from rly bad head fog rn (probs due to sickness) #// so i may not be exactly thinking straight and therefore can't remember any xD

[foxgirlmoth]

You ever just get hit hard as hell that you've felt trapped in your place of residence for years and years and you're just so tired from working the most shit jobs for a decade you just wanna scream.

#Yeag its so fun #Like. I feel like I've just pushed it back in my head going 'nono its not that bad it just feels that bad' #And then I realize everything from the way I dress and the way I relax is half faked because what else can I do but #Sit and be safe in the one room that feels even half like my space #I don't go out of this room! Its hell outside of it at my place. #Its filled with people who debate how I generally live and think my life isn't hard enough and so I deserve more suffering half the time #I'm making $20 an hour right now and it feels impossible to keep up three or so payments if I miss. day or two per check #I'm mostly venting rn but just holy shit #I think I'd actually put effort into putting clothes away or cleaning up my space or being just in any way shape or form nicer to myself #If I had any sense of belonging here #Its been almost 27 years of my life in this one room

[tigersorange]

im enjoying booping . my stony visage cracks into a smile etc

#suffering so bad from senioritis rn i needed this

[hauntingblue]

LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!

#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭 #MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too??? #NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!! #yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything... #i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE???? #is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!! #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1070 #i am smiling so hard rn. contagious #also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success.... #THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying #you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it #hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy #THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!! #the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE #this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!! #they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????! #episode 1071 #momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!! #the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this... #we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members #law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses.. #nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!! #wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk #THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING #FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!! #NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!! #episode 1072

[burden-boy]

Neighbor's annoying me

Loin rupture operation annoying me

Bad teeth annoying me

Eating issues annoying me

Insecurities annoying me

Autism annoying me

Bad concentration annoying me

Loneliness annoying me

Depression annoying me

Shitty youth following me

Trust issues annoying me

This fake fucking society annoying me

Drug dependency annoying me

Money issues annoying me

No real bond with family annoying me

Stress of not being able to fix most of what's wrong annoying me

No hope for the future annoying me

My pessimistic useless existence annoys me too

But if you ask me I'll be doing good <3

#Probably missing a few things but whatever #Gonna break under this shit soon but whatever #How come I'm not having nice days? Gee idk maybe because all the alarm lights are flashing red and I'm about to break down #Would be nice to unload some baggage but with how life's going I wouldn't be surprised if something bad is just around the corner #It's only down hill from here boys!!! #Death can come a little quicker for me tbh #Done here #Don't want this life if it's just suffering 95% of it #That rope around my neck doesn't seem so bad rn #At least something will choke me and make me feel good in the end I guess

[1327-1]

if ur putting antin*t*list shit on my dashboard while Palestinians are going thru a literal genocide i will wish endless skinnings to u and urs. i dont rock with that shit.

#im so fucking sick and tired of white ppl having their 'innocent' opinions on the existence of human #life. could not be more fucking tone deaf rn #if u dont wanna have kids thats great. i dont either. #to not even consider what’s going on in the actual world OF suffering. #and to plague this morning with ur ‘optimism’ abt how to stop child suffering is for ppl not to be born? #instead of i dont fucking know u daft american cunt. looking at our systems? looking at our inflictions on our own ppl and others?? #to suggest and fucking yap about how dear children are to u and to draw an obvious line #on who u actually care about: the ones Not suffering. the obvious ones who have all the resources in the world to #show ur pure heart they can raise the perfect unharmed child? fuck off #im not saying everything perfectly but i just believe there is some insidious ignorance in those that believe there is innocence in #elimination #that ignorance of Actual Peoples from history of great suffering will crush you tenfold for what little u think of life #and life as an applicant to only those who Dont Have It Bad #fuck off

[pepprs]

ok mutuals. so we’ve established that i am extremely mentally ill about my job due to fomo and projection issues 🤪😻✨so i rarely let myself turn things down or take breaks or whatever. but im trying to be better about that and in the last couple of weeks like.. i took 2 days off last week and will take another one tomorrow and yesterday i started getting cr*mps so i pulled out of facilitating the orientation sessions bc i was like im in pain and this is one too many things and like.. if it sucks hit da bricks yk. but last night i got my p*riod and i didn’t sleep well and i feel so lightheaded and my cramps are horrible now… and it’s like. literally the only thing i have to do on campus today is orientation which is a nightmare anyway. so maybe i should skip it again and work from home today bc i NEVER let myself do that anymore bc im afraid to miss anything in the office (and also i don’t take anything like pain meds bc my family is insane 🤪 so i would be going thru cramps relying only on my heating pad and i do have one in the office but it’s obviously not the smae thing as like lying down with it and also if i do orientation then im flying solo for 2 hours ON MY FEET the whole time and this time id have to walk around a lot more bc of some of the changes we made). but then im like well ive come to work w worse cramps before and also i feel bad leaving my one colleague bestie alone in the office todsy (the other one is on vacation) esp bc im already taking another day off tomorrow. but then it’s like.. well i shouldn’t worry abt that i need to do what feels good for me. so idk that was kinda rambling and i was going to ask if u think i should stay home but i think typing that out… i am going to.

#purrs #menstruation tw #idk. like maybe.. when i hwbe my period… as long as im living in a place where i don’t have access to pain meds (and even once i am i think #it’s goi my to take a lot for me to take them bc i am scared of them thanks to all the things my parents have said about them over the years #😻👍 so i will need to work up to / out of that)… i should be easy on myself when i have my period and am dealing w cramps bc you can’t predic #predict when they come and the heating pad only does so much. and yeah im the only person in the office who gets periods rn but that doesn’t #mean i should rough it out and suffer bc i don’t want to miss anything like if i have the option to work et home for a day when i need to i #should take it even if im not at like a level 8-10 pain wise when i make that call bc i very well could be a couple hours from that point. #i feel lkke im not articulating myself well bc im lightheaded from exhaustion and bad sleep and also my ut*rus trying to strangle me. but #yeah i think. maybe i will work from home today and just have a very easy day. but i feel terrible about it. lol

[euphor1a]

Honestly, I shouldn’t have slept on revamping bewitched so much. I know I hate the way I wrote it and have to cringe at every word while editing and reworking on it but the characters were well-built despite my writing skills and the plot was pretty good 😔? I don’t think a ton of the readers who were hype about the series are around and it’s pretty hard to build a brand new audience.

#🌺; aleyna rambles #i procrastinate a lot when it comes to bewitched bc god i hate revamping because i genuinely cannot stand the way i wrote back then #😭 #some people from way back in the day are still around which is actually miraculous to me and i appreciate them from the bottom of my heart #but i feel like i wasted bewitched’s potential in a way... like damn it deserves better 😬 #i don’t know if anyone remembers but bewitched’s last update was THEE cliff-hanger™. like the next chapter was about to reveal the plot lol #back in my old blog. then i moved and decided to revamp it #i was ashamed of the way i used to write so i kinda hurriedly decided to revamp everything before reposting #not just bewitched all of my reposts are heavily re-edited🧍🏽‍♀️ #but damn i feel so bad about bewitched specifically. it could’ve spread its wings and taken off but since i’m such a damsel in distress #it has to suffer with me. which is unfair #hush barely has any plot so i know new or old; readers will tune in. like it’s just p*rn and two hot guys 😭😭 #but bewitched... my child i’m so sorry i failed you 😔

[collectivecloseness]

One thing is, if you had really bad executive dysfunction (like with depression, ADHD, etc) then not only would the fruity four take such good care of you, but they’d also make sure you never felt bad about it.

Anything you need help with, one of them is already extending a helping hand. If something’s going on, and there’s a reason it’s worse atm, they’re all sitting down to make sure whatever’s bothering you is fixed. And they know sometimes it just happens, there’s no reason behind it, and they won’t get mad at you for falling behind, even if you’re scared they will be. Once you explain about your ed, they really try their best to be understanding, I think some of them have even experienced it too (definitely Eddie has).

You’re their number one priority. So they’ll either lift you up and go help you do the thing you need, or they’ll take care of it for you if they can so you’re not stressing. They get in a semi-bad habit of doing the things themselves, because they don’t want you to feel bad or worry, and they want to help! Even if sometimes they know they should let you do it yourself, just with their help, they can’t help taking care of things for you! They’re doing it for you before they can even think about it. Or they’ll even tell you how it’s not important, and nothing to even worry about doing at all.

They just try to make sure you know that they could never think any less of you for what, struggling with an actual neurological issue, that already makes you feel bad for not being able to deal with it in the first place? They couldn’t do that to you. Their number one priority is just making sure you’re looked after, you’re loved, and you fully know it.

#guess who’s suffering with their ed real bad from depression and adhd rn??? #I’ve tried so hard to work on any of my drabbles all day and there has just been a wall #at least letting my brain spill all my thoughts on f4 allowed me to at least get this down for today lmfao #but fr like Steve and Nancy would need it explained (as would Robin and Eddie) #but then they’d be the worst at just ALWAYS doing the things for you so you don’t have to stress just on instinct #you actually worried Nancy would be upset with you a bit maybe even Steve #but nope they’re fixing it all up for you easily and literally without a thought #so are the other two but Robin and Eddie remember youve *asked* to ask them to help you sometimes #rather than just doing it themselves even tho they’d be v happy to just as much!!! #Nancy and Steve just get the thing done and completely forget you’ve asked them to ask if you want help first before just doing it thmslvs #Robin and Eddie absolutely will as well. inc f4 on purpose if they think it’s best for u #fruity four thoughts #fruity four #stranger things #fruity four hc’s #Eddie Munson #Steve Harrington #Robin Buckley #Nancy Wheeler

[manasurge]

✨✨✨✨I can't focus on anything✨✨✨✨

I'm doing that thing where I'm just sitting in silence for hours without realizing it until it's time for me to go to bed and I DID NOTHING AGAIN. This is so FruSTRaTINg.

#ugh and I have a LONG shift tomorrow when I'm going to be the most tired #whatever i'll just say screw it and sacrifice my already deprived sleep schedule to try to draw a bit #I barely get enough sleep anyways so it won't matter #(literally I get 1-4hrs max per work night bc I suck so bad at sleeping; even with xtra strength sleeping pills) #not even exaggerating #at this point i kinda just give up tbh lol #i can't seem to get any dopamine from anything rn and it's driving me crazy #gonna increase my own suffering bc i'm grumpy with lowkey self loathing tendencies lol