#surprise walrus

[nightmarebeforechtistmas]

Like look, I don’t really believe in magic, except in that way you believe in monsters under the bed at age 5 or something following you from the shadows when walking alone at night. Ya know. But the way my life and the world is going I’d be less surprised at a fairy than a walrus.

Like I don’t live close enough to an appropriately cold enough and large enough body of water to be like eh it could happen. Like how did you squiggle your blubbery ass all the way here my dude. Why did no one notice you, we regularly got bear sightings mentioned in school how did no one notice you. How did you get up the stairs and where did you come from. I didn’t think there was a zoo nearby with one of you guys.

To see a walrus requires either a breaking of natural law which I’ve been led to believe absolutely govern our natural world or a pretty wild ass story.

Fairies are outside the laws of physics. Their appearance turns my world view 90 degrees sure, but like it doesn’t break any rules technically? Cause if magic is real than it’s like discovering quantum physics, where you have a new field of information that doesn’t necessarily follow the rules you’d normally expect it to. It just adds a new facet of complexity. Ya know. Like maybe the fairy flew up the stairs, maybe they walked. How do I know my front door isn’t their natural habitat and they e just been pushed out by excessive human travel through their territory. I don’t know. It’s not governed by science yet so sure. And given everything already happening, why not at this point.

But a walrus.

A walrus is breaking rules.

I will not tolerate this.

Go away and bring back the fairy dammit.

#fairy walrus discourse #just some thoughts #just wanted to say #surprise walrus

[curiositypolling]

pls reblog for sample size etc

#anyone in the dont believe but still more surprised by walrus im judging yall im sorry

[gatorinator]

“Walrus on your doorstop” this “fairy’s more unrealistic” that my professor just uttered the sentence “there was one day I found a real octopus in my backyard” this man hasn’t left Utah his entire life. How was there an octopus in his backyard in Utah. He then said “I do not have time to elaborate we need to cover a lot today in class” GIRL WHAT DO YOU MEEAN

#al speaks #we are fifteen minutes into class and still haven’t had any class cuz he was telling a story. wdym you don’t have time for the octopus story #stop class I want to know everything. I guess he would say he would be more surprised to see a fairy than a walrus #walrus or fairy

[wynjara]

The more things change

#surprise walrus #kinda

[neosatsuma]

#okay I'm done that's all I got I need to buy ant traps #my nonsense #tumblr #ruining the surprise by tagging this appropriately but tbh. i think we are. at this point. expecting it #walrus #walrus fairy poll

[hadeantaiga]

Now it's time for the true poll:

#tumblr #tumblr meme #walrus versus fairy #robot vs clone #personally I thought a fairy would be more surprising than a fairy #and I think being a clone would be more fucked up

[zanmor]

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Who could that be? A fairy, or permhaps an walrus? Let's check...

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

#fairy #walrus #surprise

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Listen, the simple fact of the matter is: a walrus is bigger than a fairy.

I hear a knock on the door and I open it. I see a fairy. It’s two apples tall. It gives me a start but all I have to do is politely turn it away and I’m good. Conversely it’s human sized and I fully believe it’s a human in a costume—because how the hell would I even be able to tell it’s not—and all I have to do is politely turn it away and I’m good. The encounter is brief, there’s no need to get anyone else involved, and I can have an existential crisis about the existence of fairies after it’s gone.

I hear a knock on the door and I open it. I see a walrus. I fully jump, scramble backwards. I attempt to slam the door in its face, but it’s already halfway through the doorway, barreling towards me with its long tusks and heavy body. I run for my life from the creature that utterly wrecks the narrow walkways of my home behind me. This encounter will not be brief. I have time to wonder: why the fuck is a walrus here? How did it get here? How did no one see it headed here and call animal control? The nearest zoo it over an hour away by car and it doesn’t even have walruses? How long has it been tracking me? Does it know who I am? How did it even knock when it only has flippers and not hands? How the fuck do I get out if this situation? I can’t call anyone because who the fuck is going to believe that I have an actual, real life walrus in my house. I don’t even believe it. I find a window and knock the screen out, scrambling through it into my backyard. I go to the library and look up real estate listings—that’s the walrus’ house now.

#so yeah #both would be surprising for sure #but the shock factor is definitely proportional to the size of the visitor and the length of the ensuing interaction #a fairy can be reasoned with #a walrus cannot #fairy vs walrus

[momo-t-daye]

Reunions #1

(Reunions #2)

#Severus Snape #Remus Lupin #Albus Dumbledore #Gotta post something quick for Sev's birthday! #I'm sure Remus didn't expect a warm welcome or happy reunion with Severus but immediate attacks on his mustache were a surprise #Remus- a tad passive aggressively- thus considered growing muttonchops all year to irritate Sev's aesthetic sensibilities... #(Sluggy's walrus mustache must've left quite an (negative?) impression on wee Sev) #my art #comic

[robin-hood-for-freedom]

"A walrus at your door doesnt mean it walked there on its own. Someone could have left it there as a prank"

Ok, but how did that 'someone' get a walrus and transport it to my front door? Why are they doing this to me specifically?

#even in the 'someone is pranking me' scenareo #a walrus would still surprise me more than a fairy #especially since at that moment I'd have no way to know that

[gammija]

most arguments to justify believing in a fairy over believing in a walrus could also, with a little bit of imagination, apply to a walrus on your doorstep, but peoples minds are trapped by the alluring potential realness of the walrus vs the simplistic answers offered by the fantasy of a fairy

#this means basically nothing #i just rlly find the fairy/walrus thing funny #esp how ive not seen one (1) post defending the ''logical'' answer #its all just 'okay OKAY I KNOW but HEAR ME OUT ON THE WALRUS' #so basically i guess i agree with the people saying 'look id be more SURPRISED by a walrus' cause i get it #but still. #joos yaps

[bellowsthebard]

Okay my sister has made an argument and I need input

#i still think the walrus is more surprising #she says 'they are taking animals around to fund raise'

[queerofthedagger]

of course it's less likely for a fairy to turn up on my doorstep than for a walrus, that isn't the point. the point is that if it knocked and i opened the door, the leap from, having read fantasy for 20-ish years where fairies might as well turn up on your doorstep and as such it's 'oh so they do exist. rad', is far less huge than, 'whatever the fuck is a walrus doing in the second biggest city of the country. on my doorstep. how did it knock. who let it into the house.' would it be more likely? yes obviously. would it still be more surprising also? 100% yes. I'm a millenial do you know the shit i've seen that people kept telling us kids were impossible. come on now. the fairies might as well happen

#*mine #mona rambles #fairy walrus tale #listen. i get why people would find the fairy more surprising but finding out magic's real wouldn't even be in the top 10 of weird things #to deal with at this point #a walrus tho?? just realistically wouldn't even have the skills to make it here. it's logic really (joking but yk)

[oi-lucy]

#walrus vs fairy #walrus fairy #fairy walrus #walrus fairy poll #walrus #audio #knock knock #I'm surprised I've yet to see this done #i worked hard on this #dr phil #slap slap slap

[gatorinator]

Here’s my thought: a fairy on your doorstep is asking you to believe in magic. BUT. So is a walrus on your doorstep. And out of a fairy and a walrus, I’m much more inclined to believe a fairy has magic.

#al speaks #what are we calling this? #walrus vs fairy #literally the only way a walrus is getting to my landlocked state and my third floor apartment is via magic. #so now your asking me to believe walruses have magic. and that would be more surprising to me

[rat-at-heart]

They can't believe there are still people in the world who haven't seen the 2012 cinematic masterpiece that is The Lorax starring Danny DeVito and Taylor Swift

#art #doodle #drawing #ratatheart #rat at heart #walrus #animal drawing #the lorax #movie #cinema #Danny devito #Taylor swift #surprised