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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

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Humans are Space Orcs, “Eating Everything.”

I am working my way through the list of suggestions that you guys left me, so this is the first installment from a Anon ask. I don’t know if this is what you wanted to read or where expecting to read, but this is what I came up with.

Intergalactic Journal of Biology and Medicine

Humans have one of the most resilient digestive tracts in the known universe. As an Omnivorous predatory species, humans are capable of digesting muscle , fat, carbohydrates (simple and complex), proteins and fibers taking many nutrients and extreme energy from them. Their use of carbs gives us an explanation as to why humans are so powerful because they require a lot of energy to use their bodies. Additionally, the stomach acid of a human is capable of digesting, non-food items though no nutrients can be pulled from it.

Generally speaking, the rule is that if you can eat it, a human can eat it, though, whether it is to their taste or not is questionable.

Furthermore, the human body reactivly ejects toxic substances once detected, so within reason, humans are capable of trying many foods without the negative consequences many of us would associate with sticking foreign substances in our mouth.

There GA intergalactic summit was held, on what was Earth time, November 5th, 4022. All members of the GA council were expected to attend, or at least a representative for every species in the known universe. At this time that would include the Rundi, Gibb, Tesraki, Bran, Vrul, Drev, etc. but worst of all, the humans.

The Rundi steward, a class of government official who was specifically tasked with dealing with the drudgery of bureaucracy, was not pleased in the slightest. It was primarily his job to put everything together, and depending on how well he did, it could either make or break him in social hierarchy of his species. The Rundi were a primarily governmental planet, everything they did was based upon a structure of hierarchy and rule. Government was the greatest form of service, and Anarchy wasn’t even an afterthought in philosophical debate. The rundi were not capable of anarchy.

It was a planet of politicians in some form or another, every interaction had political underleanings, and their speech was always heavily guarded. For this reason, the Rundi had been the first in suggesting an intergalactic system of government. The terasaki had agreed only upon realizing they would be tasked with overseeing economics, but had benefited from the Rundi system of government seeing as they tended a bit towards social anarchy, a thought that the Rundi had seen as horribly barbaric, especially since their system was based primarily on the equal distribution of goods to support government structure.

The Vrul had only agreed to join based on their own personal interest in survival. Generally they wanted nothing to do with intergalactic politics and would have been happy to maintain their own peaceful homeworld, but the introduction of other species into the galaxy had offered a great threat to them, and they had decided, out of necessity, to join the GA as being friends with the other species was in their own self interest. In turn that had meant sending their very, very skilled workers to help the rest of the galaxy, and that included their scientists and their doctors, and their mechanics.

And then of course there was the issue of the Drev and the humans, both scarily similar in social hierarchy and temperament. The Drev were warlike and honor bound, but once choosing a leader, they had been surprisingly willing to join in as long as they were given the opportunity to participate in any and all armed conflict that happened to take place across the galaxy.

The humans….. The humans were another story. There was no one characteristic that helped to identify their motivations. The humans themselves were well versed in war, politics, economics, and science, but they did everything to the extreme. Where the Drev practiced war for honor,when humans waged war, they did it to kill, while the Rundi maintained government and played games within their own circles, the humans played against each other often mixing war and government into one. Their economic practices varied widely, but their current system played for keeps and focused on the greatest accumulation of wealth possible far beyond what the Tesraki did. Then when it came to science, they never considered WHETHER they should do something, but only if they COULD do something.

And now here the steward was forced into the position of setting up this summit for all the different types of species. The catering alone had been a complete nightmare, and he had been forced to ship different sorts of food for thousands of miles in order to feed everyone in the proper manner. There were some species he did not have to worry about, like the Vrul, who were more plant based and so did not eat, but there were others, and that included the rundi and the Tesraki, who had every strict diet consisting of only very specific foods to eat. He found that he could tack the Drev onto some other species, seeing as their bodies were capable of metabolizing almost any plant as long as it retained a similar structure to human plants and fruit.

However, the humans themselves were the hardest part, because the range of food was so wide, he could hardly determine what was going to work and what was going to be a massive disaster. He honestly didn’t know, different sources said different things, and he couldn't bare to think about putting MEAT on the table…. That was just against his constitutions.

In fact, he was scrambling right up until the council had convened for the evening, and the mass tide of bodies came pouring into the room filling the vaulted ceiling with rockus chatter in dozens of different languages.

He could hear the humans coming a mile off.

The humans and the Rundi had a similar register when it came to hearing, and humans were known to be able to mimic Rundi vocalizations to some degree simply because they generally tended to communicate in deep grunts, hums and guttural vocalizations. The humans, wlel their language was just as varied as their culture clicking, hissing, snapping, humming and grunting filling the air with discordant and somehow, rhythmic quality..

Their presence turned heads.

They walked with the Drev delegation, which was no surprise to anyone. The humans had been unable to send their usual representative due to a social disagreement between earth and its neighboring sister, Mars. So who had they gone and sent….

Them….

The rundi Steward knew all about them….. Crewmembers of the UNSC Harbinger, the widest ranging vessel in the entire galaxy, and home to a crew that was indisputably certifiable. They were the most reckless, most dangerous, and most terrifying amalgamation of creatures in the galaxy somehow including one Drev, and a rather out of place Vrul whose behavior suggested he had caught whatever brain malady had overcome the humans, and was just as insane as they were.

He cringed horrifically at the sight of them.. Humans were a destructive force, and were known to cause chaos and mayhem wherever they went, even at the best of times, so this was bound to get interesting.

The delegates were seated, and the Steward welcomed them with gracious words of introduction he had spent months preparing. It was a very political thing for him to do, and included subtle compliments to all delegations involved, laid down some ground rules but made sure not to undermine the authority of the people he was speaking too..

However, to the humans, the attempt was obviously heavy handed brown nosing, though none of the other delegations seemed to notice.

He invited them in for refreshments and encouraged discussion between the parties.

Of course, the humans weren’t exactly ones to pass up the idea of food and were some of the first to the table examining the contents with great interest even the food that was not theirs. They seemed very amused watching the other delegations pick up their specific food and then move away to sit.

“What is this.” one of the humans commented holding up a rather stringy green tube that wriggled and squirmed in his hand, “Are these worms?”

One of the Tesraki looked over, “No, it’s a Cavestalk, a kind of plant. Probably not to your taste, they are known to be poisonous to other species. In other words, not human food.”

The human raised an eyebrow, “Buddy, humans are the sharks….. Or wait…. Maybe that's the goats of the universe, we can eat anything within reason, and even a couple of things outside of reason if given enough time.”

The Tesraki made a sort of shrug and wave with its large ears and then walked away. The steward watched the humans with a worried expression. It wouldn’t due to allow the humans to make themselves sick on his watch, but it seemed as if that idea was only becoming more and more likely as the humans poked and prodded at the leftovers of other species hardly bothering with the food that had been laid out for them…. Mostly strange fibrous plant materials.

And that is when it came, “I dare you to eat it.”

The two humans locked eyes, one still holding the wriggling Cavestalk, “What.”

“I said, I dare you to eat it.” The human stuck out his chin at the other human in a primitive position of posturing, “How much do I get if I do.”

There was a moment of thought before, “Twenty credits. I’ll give you twenty credits to eat it.”

“What happens if it poisons me?”

There was a hand wave, “We have a doctor on board, he can just pump your stomach…. Chicken.”

A moment of silence passed between them, and the Rundi steward began moving towards them to stop something horrible he felt was about to happen. He wasn’t fast enough, and before he knew it, the human had thrown back his head and dropped the wriggly green thing into his mouth swallowing it whole like an alligator or a snake.

People around looked on in somewhat fascinated disgust as the predator’s throat bobbed and he smacked his lips making a face, “Eh, I can still feel it moving…. Eh.” He paused, “Though, taste wise it isn’t so bad kind of like a wiggly asparagus.” After a moment his eyes narrowed, and he smacked his lips again, “Spicy asparagus, uh, that’s really really weird.”

He reached the table just as the Vrul came running up shoulders squared in a very un-vrul way, “HE LITERALLY JUST SAID IT WAS POISONOUS TO OTHER SPECIES, AND NOW YOU’RE EATING IT! AND YOU OVER THERE.” A human looked up at him from where it had been prodding the Drev coiltree berries, “GET THOSE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!”

They had attracted the attention of some of the closer tables now who were looking on in entertained confusion and worry.

A human waved a hand, “It’s alright Doc, we have you don’t we”

“I AM NOT THE MAGIC CURE FOR NEUROTOXIN.”

Another shrug, “Well it’s a good thing that I’ll throw up before anything really bad happens.”

The rundi steward tried to intervene as the humans began prodding through the other food, “Drev can eat human fruit, so I bet these things are like fruit.” one of them pointed out popping the berries into his mouth and chewing with a contemplative look on his face, “Not bad.”

“Please, please, if you would remain within your own food groups.” The Rundi begged. HE was now realizing he should have written up some legal documents to avoid litigation if the humans were to be damaged on their property, but now was too late.

A human waved him off, “Don’t worry, everyone else is done eating, besides.” He Pointed towards the human food, “That's literally a pile of lettuce, I am a man, not a horse.”

“Horses don’t eat lettuce, also that’s not lettuce,it’s spinach.” Another human piped up prodding at a strange squishy red ball sloshing with a strange pink nectar, “This looks like candy.”

“Please don’t put that in your mouth.”

The humans swarmed away from the two dissenting voices. One of them picked up the strange pink orb and licked it. It’s eyes lit up and it bit into the piece wiping pink juice from it’s face as it did, “Ok, this, this is good 10/10 would try again.” And that only caused all the other humans to move over to try one.

“I SAID GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!” The vrul demanded.

The Rundi steward looked on in horror and worry. Vrul didn’t behave that way, everything here was just wrong.

A Drev joined the party just then pointing to the pink orb, “I love those, but you should definitely try these too.”

“No, no they should not.”

He was ignored, and the humans scooted over to look. It was a strange spiral plant in a light yellow color that made a distinctive crunching sound as the humans bit down. They shrugged, “Sort of just like space celery if you ask me.”

Did these creatures have no sense of self preservation!

A group had gathered around the table strangely amused at the humans, who just ate…. Everything.

The Rundi steward almost keeled over watching his future go down the drain as other species began offering humans food. Whatever it was, they seemed unable to resist putting it in their mouths. A human made a face spitting something back out into his hand, “Ax bleh, tastes like Satan’s feet.” “Quick question. When was the last time you licked Satan’s feet.” “The last time I was at your mom’s house.”

The humans made strange noises at each other as the Rundi stepped in and began grabbing things from the humans only to find the Vrul to be doing the same, “Stop it! Stop it all of you!.”

The human’s paused, as did the other delegates in surprise.

“STOP PUTTING THINGS IN YOUR MOUTH THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.” The intervening silence was broken as one of the humans loudly crunched on one of the pink orbs. Everyone turned to look at her and she just glanced around the group.

“What?” She wondered past a mouth full of food.

A human waved a hand at him, “Keep your shorts on, we promise you won't get in trouble if one of us dies.”

The Rundi stared on incredulous.

They were going to kill themselves, they were really going to kill themselves.

Maybe it was best if he resigned before being fired, at least he would be able to keep his dignity

#humans are insane #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are spaceoddities #humans are weird #earth is a deathworld #Earth is space Ausralia

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furidojasutin · 3 years

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Title: The matching costumes

Pairing: Fraxus (Freed x Laxus)

Universe: Canon

Rating: K+

a/n: Happy Halloween!! Not sure if I’ll also be able to do something for Fraxus Day on November 5th but I wanted to do at least one of the two dates, Halloween or Fraxus Day djkwsl Enjoy the scary day, guys!

He hated that he caught himself thinking how perfect they looked together. He hated that this thought even made it into his mind, but here he was. A mug of beer in his hand, lazy cat ears on his tousled blond hair (Bixlow had made him wear those) and pulling a face looking as miserable as sin.

How fucking great.

Laxus chugged his drink and put his mug back on the wooden counter. He had stopped counting how many drinks he's had this night and he didn't really care. It was a quite blessed thing that his tolerance for alcohol was very high, he thought every now and then. Other times he had experienced the need to numb all his senses, but alcohol rarely seemed to work.

Point is, he still couldn't outdrink Cana but his tolerance was high enough to try battling her. Not that he wanted to do that right now.

What did he wanna do? Perhaps just go home and escape this noisy mess of a Halloween party.

Yet, he didn't end up doing any of it. Instead he found himself being hypnotized by the scene presented on the guild's stage. He just couldn't seem to avert his eyes, even if he wanted to so badly.

Freed and Mirajane had done a matching costume. They had dressed up as demonic partners in crime and it was impressive, maybe even the most impressive costume duo Laxus had ever seen in one of the guild's contests. Both of them looked equally attractive and fearsome (was that a weird thought to have?), with their fangs and dark clothes with just the right colorful accents, glowing eyes, horns as their crowns, the mischievous expressions on their faces. There were so many details that turned the overall image into a feast for the eyes. Impressive, formidable, dark...

People would look at them standing there together and think that these two would have the most beautiful, smart and confident children one day. Alright, perhaps without them wearing their costumes, but the point was still made...

Fuck. Did he really just think that, too?

The feel of discomfort tightened in Laxus' chest and instinctively he reached for his mug, just then realizing that it was already empty again. And Mira wasn't serving right now. At least this finally prompted him to rip his eyes off the scene he had been watching intently for the past couple of minutes, attempting to find Kinana or Lisanna among the crowd of people flooding the guild hall. Without any success, though.

“Regretting your choice yet?”

Laxus grimaced at the almost mocking voice that suddenly appeared next to him. He realized that he should have seen this coming, but he had hoped that he'd be able to avoid it somehow. Not with Evergreen, though. He noticed that hint of a smirk on his friend's face and refused to look at her, deciding to stare down his emptied mug.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” This wouldn't be good enough to shoo her away, he knew. If he had learned anything about his closest friends then it was that they were just as stubborn as he was, if not even more stubborn sometimes. A curse and a blessing all the same, really. Who was he to talk though, if he suffered the same flaw?

“Oh, you don't?” Evergreen took a sip from her purple cocktail. The color was matching her outfit quite nicely but the sound of her slurp was almost a little too aggressive. Perhaps he was just imagining it but he rather guessed that it was all part of her attempt to mock him.

“No,” he grumbled and tapped his fingers on the counter. He really didn't feel like talking, especially not right now and where everyone could possibly hear him.

“Alright,” she shrugged and took another sip from her drink. It almost fooled him into thinking that she would leave him alone, until- “So you're completely fine with Freed and Mira doing matching costumes because you declined when Freed asked you? They're absolutely gorgeous, by the way.”

Laxus wasn't sure why Evergreen needed to rub salt into the wound so hard. It didn't matter anyway. The weird pang he felt in his chest followed by a dizzying nausea was more real than anything else in that very moment. When had he started to allow his emotions to overrule his mind?

He wasn't even sure what the worst part about this entire situation was. His feelings messing him up? Him realizing what it was but still trying to deny them for some reason? Freed and Mira truly looking breathtaking together? Evergreen making him feel even more miserable for pointing out all of it? Knowing that it was his fault that Freed had asked Mira instead?

Truth is, Laxus had just never really been into Halloween. Not like he would admit it to many people, but he'd always been more of a Christmas guy himself ever since he was a little boy. He had forgotten about the charms of this holiday in between times, but it was slowly coming back.

Freed, however? Back then he hadn't been sure if he should be surprised or not when he found out that Freed was very fond of Halloween, actually. The Raijinshuu's captain turned out to enjoy the atmosphere, scaring people, setting up Halloween parties with the help of his rune traps, the decorations and even... the costumes.

This year had been the first year of Freed actually wanting to participate and he had asked Laxus if he wanted to join him.

And what had he done? Remembering the moment clearly, Laxus frowned, not registering whether Evergreen was still talking to him or not. Freed had asked him and he had messed up. He hadn't even thought his answer through, it just slipped out before he could even realize what was happening.

Then he had said that he knew that Freed would find a better partner for this.

That's what he did, indeed.

“Laxus? Laxus, hey.”

With a growl rumbling in the back of his throat he turned his head when he heard Evergreen's voice, returned from his pit of thoughts. He was surprised when he found a tinge of guilt on her painted face, though decided to neglect it. She could have thought her words through before she said them. Now here there were and he definitely wasn't in a better place than before.

If anything, he was more frustrated and it showed when he pushed himself off his bar stool, ready to retreat somewhere else. “I was wrong and you were right, 's that what you wanted to hear? Give me a break, Evergreen,” he snapped between gritted teeth, becoming so tunnel visioned that he didn't hear what Ever said to him about Mirajane as he left the bar area.

It wasn't a problem for him to slide through the people, occasionally bumping into the one or other but not caring. She knew that she would just end up provoking him with her words, didn't she? Was that what she wanted to achieve? He had no fucking idea and the more he thought about it the less he seemed to care anyway. Perhaps he shouldn't have snapped at her just now, but honestly, she had it coming.

Not like Ever didn't know that he was a mess when it came down to handling emotions. He had made visible progress in the last two years, but hell, he was still learning. At least he liked to think that he was.

Without a destination in mind he ended up on the second floor, hoping for some peace. His nerves really needed to be less on fire and his thoughts to be less of a clusterfuck. He was ready to slump on one of the chairs. Even a cigarette sounded tempting right now.

But neither the quiet nor the peace happened when suddenly he heard a way too familiar voice behind him.

“Laxus? What are you doing here?”

He honestly felt like his soul left his body right then and there when he spun around in a movement that possibly looked way too hectic to not be suspicious. He usually wasn't all too easy to scare either. And what were his heightened senses doing right now, huh? Were they on vacation?

God-fucking-dammit.

It got worse when his eyes fell on Freed who was in the middle of taking off some of the less comfortable pieces and details of his costume. The dark écriture mage was focusing him with a slightly tipped head, curious and wondering. And waiting for Laxus to respond, obviously.

But Laxus’ heart was pounding in his chest ridiculously hard. He had spent the last minutes with multiple rants in his mind and Evergreen had thrown him off completely at last. What was Freed doing here? Laxus could obviously see what he was doing but – when? When did Freed leave the stage and when did he get up here?

“Are you alright? You look a little tired.”

Tired. If it was only that, then Laxus could live with that. Crossing his arms in an unapproachable pose that he had perfected over the years, he gave a low huff. “Yea, I'm fine. Just needed to get away from all the noise.” Hopefully this would be enough to explain himself. It wasn't even far away from the truth either, was it?

To his relief, Freed nodded and continued to remove some small details from his garments. “I see. Well,” the demon added, “I'll be ready to go back down in a few moments. Will you rejoin us again later?”

“Uh, I-” That caught him off guard. Freed's eyes met his when he looked up for a second and then he worked on a few of his buttons. Laxus' throat felt awfully dry. At least he could depend on his poker face to stay in place. “You can keep me company, if you wanna. I don't mind.” And that was the whole truth. He hadn't meant for it to sound like he intended to throw Freed out in the first place and he hoped that Freed understood. They had known each other for so long now. Freed had seen his worst and his best sides – motion sickness and a case of his senses being overloaded included. So he counted on the other man to know that, sometimes, he just needed some time for himself while at the same time not minding Freed's company because...

Because why? He knew exactly why and he would be able to list all the reasons right here and right now.

The response Laxus got from Freed consisted of a brief smile and a nod. “I guess I wouldn't mind some quiet moments either,” he then agreed further and stopped fumbling with his clothes. There was a moment of silence between them in which Laxus tried to figure out what was coming next, but Freed was quite unpredictable. Something in his visible, cyan eye changed before he asked- “Did you like the costumes Mirajane and I came up with? She was quite excited when I asked her if she wanted to be my partner and she put lots of effort into the performance.”

He should have been prepared for this conversation, Laxus thought. Alas, he wasn't. Like an absolute coward he wasn't able to hold the eye-contact Freed was bringing upon him. What was he supposed to say now? There was so much he could say but so little he was ready to say. With his arms still crossed, he focused the wooden floor beneath their feet when he answered. “I bet. Mirajane's always liked this kinda stuff,” he shrugged and lightly cleared his throat. “I mean, you look awesome. Looked. You both did, I mean.” Here he was stumbling over his own words like a pro, something that was hard to believe. Laxus prayed that the warmth that rose to his cheeks didn't actually tint them in a different color.

It didn't help that a low, seemingly amused, chuckle was Freed's initial response.

Not only did it surprise Laxus but it also managed to coax him into looking up where he was met by Freed's unrelenting gaze immediately. The approach of a lopsided smirk on his friend's lips and the glint in his eyes did indescribable things to him in that moment. When Freed spoke again, however, it had an entirely different effect than expected.

“I'm glad you enjoyed it,” Freed stated still having his tiny smirk and a lively glint, “Perhaps you want to join me next year instead. I'd be happy to ask you again, Laxus.”

For the first time this night he didn't feel overwhelmed in a negative way. It took Laxus a moment to realize what was happening, but then he felt how a lot of tension seeped out of his shoulders and his posture relaxed. Did Freed just say that he would ask him again next year? He hadn't fucked up? That's what Laxus was getting out of this and it was more than enough for now.

Puffing out a breath, his own lips took on the shape of a visible grin. Ever since he started to shut out his feelings less and less, there had been this tickling feeling in his gut in certain situations and this was one of them. There was still a lot for him to get used to but he had begun a new journey and if there was one thing he knew for sure then it was that he wanted Freed to be with him along the way like he had been for a long time already.

“Yea, maybe you should ask me again.”

“Then I will,” Freed promised and before he averted his eyes again he made one last remark that threw Laxus completely off the track. “The cat ears are quite adorable on you.”

#fraxus #freed justine #laxus dreyar #fairy tail #freed x laxus #Sel writes #my stuff #halloween

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according-to-the-laura · 3 years

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StackedNatural Day 7: 5x03, 6x01

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

September 24, 2021

5x03: Free to Be You and Me

Written by: Jeremy Carver

Directed by: J. Miller Tobin

Original air date: September 24, 2009

Plot Synopsis:

Sam decides to stop hunting but has a hard time after he receives a surprise visit. Dean and Castiel try to find the Archangel Raphael in their bid to stop the Apocalypse.

Features:

“Personal space”, the tie fix and the badge flip, explicit substance abuse parallels that will be dropped when inconvenient to the plot, the infamous brothel scene, Raphael's lightning wings, God is an absent father, Sam as Lucifer’s vessel.

My Thoughts:

First multiple episode day!

CLASSIC EPISODE. I rewatched this one pretty recently but it’s fun to watch it in the context of stacked! Absolutely love that we get to watch Sam meet Lucifer for the first time immediately after watching Sam have his first hallucination of Lucifer in Meet the New Boss yesterday.

This is definitely one of the big Destiel episodes of the early seasons. I forgot that Dean buttoning up Cas’ shirt and fixing his tie, the upside down badge, and the entire brothel scene all happen in the same episode. WHAT a gift to me personally, thank you Jeremy Carver.

I have never once been able to watch the whole brothel scene without laughing out loud. The absolute desperate gay panic on Cas’ face the entire time is hysterical. The fact that Cas mentioned Chastity’s dad and her reaction was to scream like she was being stabbed to death. Hers being the first mention of absent fathers in an episode explicitly paralleling Dean and Cas’ relationship with their missing dads. Triangulation of desire between Dean, Cas, and Chastity if you squint hard enough (or at least in retrospect with November 5th being A Thing That Happened).

Cas’ little smile in the alley while Dean laughs is so precious, and correct me if I’m wrong but I think it’s the first time we see that kind of expression on his face? He’s pretty stoic in season 4 from what I remember.

The two best portrayals of angel wings in this entire show are Cas’ first appearance and Raphael’s lightning wings in this episode. The whole Raphael scene has immaculate vibes. The lighting, the directing, the acting, all off the charts.

It’s so early in their relationship but Dean deciding that he has Cas’ back in his search for God. First instance of capital-F Faith that Dean has displayed. I cry.

Sam’s struggle to maintain his bodily autonomy is so tasty in this episode, it brings me back to my Samgirl days. It’s such a good narrative choice to have Lucifer so casually say he’ll bring him back to life if he kills himself right after he had demon blood literally forced into his mouth. Also, can we talk about the hypocrisy of Lucifer saying that he’ll never trick or lie to Sam when five minutes ago he was pretending to be Sam’s dead girlfriend? That’s fucked, dude.

I was finished writing this part and checking my quotes and the blocking notes after Dean and Cas’ last conversation in the transcript got to me: “DEAN looks over; the shotgun seat is empty. His smile falters.”

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You knew there was something dark inside of you. Deep down, maybe, but you knew. Maybe that's what got me killed. I was dead from the moment we said hello.”

“So, what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“When humans want something really, really bad, we lie.”

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch.”

“God? Didn’t you hear? He’s dead, Castiel. Dead.”

“Maybe one day. But today, you’re my little bitch.”

“I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.8

IMdB rating: 8.6

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6x01: Exile on Main St.

Written by: Sera Gamble

Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

Original air date: September 24, 2010

Plot Synopsis:

Sam is mysteriously released from Hell and seeks out his brother, who is trying to have a normal life. Together the brothers must join forces with their maternal grandfather, Samuel, and begin the fight anew.

Features:

Dean pretends to be a PTA dad, Dean almost kills a yorkie, the Campbell Family Business, an abrupt change in the djinn lore for plot convenience.

My Thoughts:

I know that Dean is a good liar because it’s a necessary part of being a hunter but it is almost tragic how easy it is for him to lie to Lisa and how easily she accepts it. I think she knows he's lying but just doesn't really care.

Obviously in this episode he isn’t actually happy but I still got super pissed halfway through thinking about how they’ve been telling us for TEN YEARS that what he really wanted was to settle down with a family and then. You know. Rebar.

Seeing him pull out John’s old leather jacket gave me visceral flashbacks (flash-forwards?) to Cas’ trenchcoat in the trunk of the Impala. He really just carries around the coats of people who have abandoned him, huh?

I remembered the salient points of this episode (Sam, the Campbells) but completely forgot what happened in the monster plot so the Azazel jumpscare got me, haha. Also fully forgot that Bobby had known Sam was alive and didn’t tell Dean and I felt so betrayed personally. So miserable for Dean that he got what he wanted and all it did was make him more unhappy. Watching this back-to-back with Free to Be You and Me was whiplash. He was so much happier hanging out with Cas hours away from almost certain death than he is with Lisa or when Sam comes back from the dead. They didn’t even hug!! Dean, that’s your brotherson! Come on!

I like the soulless Sam arc. He’s just off enough from previous seasons to be eerie but it isn’t overplayed. The Campbells are annoying as hell though. I know it’s on purpose and they’re supposed to be irritating but like. Stop microaggressing my favourite boy! Let him play golf!

This is kind of a bummer episode but the thing that made me saddest was watching his nightmare hallucination of Ben drinking Azazel’s blood and thinking “oh no, his biggest fear is losing another son to demon blood”. :(.

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“You wanted a family. You have for a long time, maybe the whole time.”

“My God, you have delicate features for a hunter.”

“I should've known that if I stayed with you that something would come, because something always does. But I was stupid and reckless and...You can't outrun your past.”

“You know, you had ancestors hacking the heads off vamps on the Mayflower.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 7.4

IMdB rating: 7.8

In Conclusion: Trying to find time to watch 2 episodes today was tricky. I am anticipating a lot of late nights in October and November when we hit 4 episodes a day regularly. RIP.

<< Previous Day | Next Day >>

#Stackednatural #supernatural #spn #5x03 #Free to Be You and Me #6x01 #Exile on Main Street #gonna completely fuck my sleep schedule this year I guess!

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softyn · 6 years

Text

November 21st. | Na Jaemin

Summary: Where the day you and your soulmate should meet happens over and over again till you meet properly.

Words: +2.6K

Genre: Fluff + Time lapse soulmate! au.

Warnings: none.

-Mai.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

You opened the front door and you saw Chenle, who was already waiting for you to walk with you to school.

“Y/n, my best friend whom I love the most...” Chenle said.

You arched an eyebrow and looked at him.

“What do you want Chenle?” You asked with a smirk.

“Me? I don’t want anything y/n, Can’t I show you my love and affection?” He asked in a fake offended tone.

You looked at him again, without believing any of his words and he rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay... You know that my birthday is tomorrow.” He said raising and lowering his eyebrows.

“And...?” you asked.

“Is my best friend going to give me a present?” He asked.

“Of course, I’m gonna give you a leek.” You said giggling.

“Oh come on!” he said.

“Chenle, what’s the point of a surprise if I tell you what it is?” you asked and he rolled his eyes again.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

“Y/n, do you want to join us? We are going to eat at the roof.” Chenle said, next to him was Jisung, his soulmate.

“Ah sorry Chenle, I’m going to go to the library, I need some books, so I’ve already eat.” You said.

“Oh okay, see you later.” You waved them and you walk to the library.

You were looking for a soulmates book, one where it explains all the soulmates types that there are in the world.

Sadly, you didn’t know what sort of connection you share with your soulmate, maybe one day you’ll wake up with your soulmate’s name in your wrist or maybe the time freezes when you make eye contact with him/her. You didn’t want to believe that you didn’t have a soulmate, the case of people who do not have a soulmate is lower than 1%, so it was really difficult for you to be a lonely soul.

You were pretty sure that your type of soulmate's connection was just like your parent’s, they stopped growing once they turned 18 and when they met, they started to age again.

Once you found the book you were looking for, you started to read it.

It was incredible how many connections there are; there were people who had one eye that’s their soulmate eye color and the day they meet, their eyes switch back to their original owner, other ones share pain with their soulmate, the same bruises, cuts and such appear in their skin if their soulmates gets them, just like Chenle and Jisung and there were other people where the day that they are supposed to meet their soulmate happens over and over again till they meet properly.

You decided to stop reading the book, reading it would not help you find your soulmate.

You started to walk to your class again, trying not to think about soulmates.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

“Y/n, let's go home through the park today.” Chenle proposed.

“Sounds nice, let's go.” You said.

“So what about the book you were looking? How many soulmates’ connections explained?” he asked.

You frowned and looked at him. “How did you know that I was reading that type of book?” you asked.

“Y/n, We've been friends since... Since forever, I know you like the back of my hand.” He explained.

You laughed and looked at your feet.

“What if I don't have a soulmate Chenle? What if I'm supposed to live alone all my life?”

“For God's sake y/n, you are still young! Maybe your soulmate doesn't live in this country or this is your soulmate connection, maybe one day you meet someone who doesn't have a connection either, just think in positive, you will find them.” he said.

“Wow Lele, I'm impressed, thank you.” you said and you hugged him.

“You will thank me tomorrow, with my present.” He smirked and you rolled your eyes, laughing.

“Where's Jisung by the way?” you asked.

“At dance school, they started the classes earlier today.” He explained and I nodded.

Once you arrived at your home, you did your homework, took a bath and you and your family ate dinner together.

Just when you were about to go to sleep, your phone buzzed, it was a message from Chenle.

[11/21 23:16] Lele 🤪💓: Don’t forget about tomorrow!!

[11/21 23:16] y/n: I won’t! good night Lele ♥

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

You woke up and once you were ready, you opened your front door, Chenle was waiting for you, like usual.

“LELE! My baby boy! Happy birthday!” You said and you hugged him.

Chenle looked at you with a confused look and you frowned.

“What? I thought that you knew me better, I wasn’t expecting this betrayal, y/n.” He said.

“What are you talking about Chenle? Today it’s your birthday!” I said.

“I’m pretty sure about the day I was born and it’s not today.” He complained.

“But today is November 22nd, it’s your birthday.” You said.

“Wrong! Today it’s November 21st y/n.” He explained.

“What? That’s impossible, Yesterday was November 21st.” You said.

You looked at your phone and you frowned, Chenle was right, today was November 21st.

“Sis are you okay?” Chenle asked.

“Yes? I think? Maybe I just dreamed about today.” You said.

The rest of the day passed just like you dreamed, the same boring classes, the same questions... something was wrong, it feels too real to be a dream.

Then something clicked your head, -that’s it.- you said to yourself.

“Y/n, do you want to join us? We are going to eat at the roof.” Chenle said who was next to Jisung.

“Chenle, Jisung! You are just in time guys! I know what’s going on!” You said.

“Surprise us.” Jisung said.

“It’s my soulmate! I should have met them yesterday but I didn’t so now I’m in a time lapse until I meet them!” you explained.

“Time lapse soulmates! That makes all sense!” Chenle said.

“Woah that’s so cool.” Jisung smiled.

You were really happy, it was happening, you were going to meet your soulmate.

“Okay, let’s go to the roof.” You said.

“What are you going to do now?” Chenle asked.

“Well... I will do different things from yesterday, when you asked me to go to eat with you I didn’t go and I stayed at the library so now, I’ll go with you guys, maybe he or she is there.” You said.

“What if she or he is not there?” Jisung asked.

“Then I'll keep trying, I need to meet them if I want to exit from this loop.” You informed.

“We can go home through the park today, maybe he/she is there.” Chenle suggested.

“We went through the park last time and I didn't meet them.” you said.

“So now we need to take our usual route?” He asked and you nodded. “That's so sad, I wanted to go to the park today.” he said and you smiled.

“You could go with Jisung later, when he ends his practice.” You said.

“How did you know that I have practice today?” Jisung asked.

“Chenle told me yesterday.” You answered.

“Yesterday?” Chenle said.

“Well, my yesterday, my first 21st.” you explained.

“Oh true... It's time to tell us your darkest secrets y/n, we won't remember them.” Chenle said with a mischievous smile.

“How funny.” You said.

Suddenly, you felt something hit your head and you put your hand in the affected zone.

“Ouch.” you muttered.

“Oh my god I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to throw the apple to you, I wanted to throw it to Haechan but he dodged it.” He explained bowing several times.

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” I smiled to him, trying to calm him down.

“See Renjun, for reasons like this you should control your anger.” Another boy said.

“Haechan I’m going to kill you if you don’t shut up.” Renjun said

“Gotta blast.”

You looked how they disappeared from your vision and you looked at Chenle.

“Maybe one of them is your soulmate.” Chenle said.

“I don’t know... They can be.” You said.

“If you wake up tomorrow and it’s 22nd, you know who will be.” Jisung said and you nodded.

The rest of the day was pretty normal, you went home by the usual route, but you didn’t meet anyone so when bedtime came, you only wished that Haechan or Renjun was your soulmate.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

When the alarm went off, you woke up so fast you almost got dizzy.

You looked at the phone screen, looking for the date.

November 21st.

You sighed and lay down again in bed.

“I hope I can find you today.” you whispered.

When you were ready, you looked for Chenle, who was in front of your door, like the other days.

“Chenle, why don’t we go to school through the park today?” you suggested.

“Oh! Okay, it would be nice.” He said.

While you walked, you started to explain to Chenle what was happening.

“Really? Woah, I didn’t expect this.” He said.

The school hours before lunch were starting to tire you, this was the 3rd time you heard the same teachers explain the same classes and you were starting to get too bored.

“Y/n, do you want to join us? We are going to eat at the roof.” Chenle said, next to Jisung.

“Sorry Lele, I’m going to eat at the canteen, maybe my soulmate is there.” You said.

“Oh, then we will eat with you.” Jisung said and you nodded.

“What did you guys feel when you saw each other for the first time?” You asked when you took a seat.

You looked how their cheeks turned pink and you smiled.

They are too cute.

“I thought that he was the prettiest person I’ve ever met.” Chenle said and Jisung smiled shyly.

“At first i thought ‘What is this guy?’” He said and Chenle’s mouth widened. “But it wasn’t like “What’s wrong with him?” but I was rather curious because my heart started to beat so fast when I saw you.” Jisung explained.

“You guys are too cute.” You smiled.

The rest of the day went by as usual, you did not meet anyone and your 4th November 21st was not any different, you did not meet anyone new either, you were starting to despair.

“Y/n, my best friend whom I love the most...” Chenle said.

“No Chenle, I’m not going to tell you about your present.” You said.

“What? How did you know?” He said.

“Listen, this is the 5th November 21st that I live and I think I'm going crazy.” You said.

“What are you talking about? Why don’t you stay at home, maybe you need some rest.” Chenle said and you sighed, explaining to him for the 4th time about your soulmate’s connection.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

You looked at your biology teacher and you rolled your eyes.

You could not stand a fifth lesson about the cells, so you raised your hand and asked permission to leave the class.

“I don’t feel to well, can I go to the infirmary?” You asked and he nodded.

Once you closed the door you kicked the wall.

“If I continue living this day I'm going to go crazy.” You said and you hit your head with the wall.

You suddenly heard a snort, you looked at the voice and you started to blush.

There was a boy, looking at you, holding back his laughter.

“You can laugh if you want, okay? I can not stand this loop anymore.” You said.

He laughed a little and he approached you.- You don’t like school?- He asked.

“No, it’s nothing like that, It’s my soulmate’s connection, time lapse. I’ve been living in the same day for 5 days and I am going crazy.” You said and his smile vanished.

“Wait... Are you serious?” He asked and you looked at him in confusion.

“Of course.” You said.

“I.... We... I think that we are soulmates.” He said and your heart stopped. “I’ve been living in a constant loop for 5 days too and I’ve been looking for my soulmate since then.” He said and you smiled.

You started to approach him, feeling how your heart warmed up the closer you were to him.

“I'm very happy to finally find you” You said and you felt him smiling, as he hugged you closer to him.

“Me too, By the way, I’m Jaemin.” He said.

“Y/n.” you answered

“How about go on a date, y/n? if I stay here, listening to the teachers again I think I'm going to end up throwing myself out the window.” He said and you laughed.

“Okay.” You laughed.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

You were lying on the bed while you thought about your date, it had been perfect.

You went together to eat ramen and then you took a walk in the park, where you talked about your lives for hours, then he accompanied you to your house and he said goodbye to you with a little peck.

Jaemin was a natural flirt and he always tried to made you blush and you were really really happy that someone like him was your soulmate but at the same time you were afraid, afraid that wake up and see that you are still living in November 21st but you knew that it was impossible, Jaemin was your soulmate, you knew it.

✿.｡.: .:｡✿

You woke up and you looked for the date of your phone.

November 22nd.

You smiled and blushed.

Jaemin was your soulmate.

Once you were ready you opened the front door and you were surprised to see jaemin there, waiting for you.

“Jaemin.” You said softly, with a smile.

“Good morning my beautiful soulmate, ready to go to school?” You smiled because of the nickname and you nodded, holding his hand.

When you arrived at school, you sat under the shade of a tree, waiting for the classes to begin and suddenly you heard a familiar voice yell at you.

“Is this what I deserve on my birthday?! I've been waiting for you for fifteen minutes in front of your house just to be told that you were already gone, what a shitty friend.” Chenle said offended.

You opened your eyes and covered your mouth. “Oh my God Lele! i’m sorry! I completely forgot with all this time lapse thing!” You said and Chenle did a face. “I’m truly sorry Chenle! We will go to your favorite cafeteria after class, I invite, I’m sorry I swear.” You said.

“You better be sis.” Chenle said. “Nah I’m kidding, I’m not mad at you, you finding your soulmate is more important than a birthday and I know that my present is at your house, you can give it to me after class too.” Chenle smiled.

You smiled back at him. You introduced Jaemin to Chenle and Jisung, who came a little after Chenle.

Soon after, Jaemin also introduced you to his friends, Mark, Jeno, Renjun and Haechan which caused you much laughter.

“What are you laughing so much?” Jaemin asked with a smile.

“Actually, I know Renjun and Haechan, one of the November 21 that I lived, Renjun threw an apple at my head when He tried to hit Haechan.” You said and Renjun eyes opened.

“Oh my God really? I’m so so so sorry.” He said and you all laughed.

You looked at jaemin with literally hearts’ eyes and he smiled you back.

“I’m so happy, thank you.” You said.

He smile grew bigger and he kissed you.

“Ew... save the PDA for when you are alone.” Haechan said.

You smiled at them with pink cheeks, this is all you wanted and you would not change anything.

// Masterlist //

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mariellewritesalot · 7 years

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That Time I Won a Palanca

The first time I joined the Palanca Awards I was 15 and eager, high on hopes that maybe I had a shot at winning something so prestigious. It was around the time that my writing blog was only 5 months old and receiving feedback from strangers on the internet, with Sir KC's push, I gave it a try. I failed. I had quietly hoped for the worst, but it still stung when I realized I’ve been daydreaming about it quite often. The next time around I was so discouraged I didn't even bother. Since I lost in RACJOURN 2016, too, and there were people who openly told me I needed improvement, I took a break from my writing. There was a long period of time where I thought my writing was not getting me anywhere, that it was just as everyone said--a hobby. I settled for writing whenever I felt like it and doing my best not to fail as the Editor-in-Chief of Ang Kalatas, a literary folio entrusted to me by my school. I became anxious of sharing my thoughts online, doubted my abilities, vowed to read more, and tried to improve how I wrote. I rarely let my family read my work, but my parents have always been supportive of me being a writer despite their hopes that I may pursue law after all. My teachers saw potential in me, always, which warms my heart every time. I for one, am a big fan of constructive criticism when it came to my writing. My friends, even if they often hit me with #nosebleed jokes, are my biggest fans, too. This support system kept me going and so, when 2017 came, I decided to give the Kabataan Essay category another shot before I turned 18.

2017. The first defining moment was copping silver for Feature Writing in RACJOURN 2017 with my piece on Extrajudicial Killings. I joined the Manila Times Essay Writing Contest with the same theme but failed. This didn’t stop me. I was anxious as I wrote my piece for Palanca in the summer, stressing about it for a whole month, letting Sir Ivan and Ma'am Fyke read it so they can provide their critique, spending about 3 hours on the last night, thinking of the perfect title before I sent it in the following day. As my parents stood by me while I freaked over requirements, I calmly told them that if I win, it would all be for them, anyway. There is no better feeling in the world than seeing my parents happy, to let them know that all their struggle to get me good education and to raise me well aren’t going to waste.

To be completely honest, there was one event in life this year that led me to believe my entire year was down the drain. I was devastated. Heartbroken. Clinging on to my friends for support. In tears at the most random times...It took a while before I got better, the progress was so slow that sometimes I think I am still not over it, especially when things stress me out and all I need is someone to talk to. I started working out and *trying* to eat healthier when I can. Before I knew it, I was 20 pounds lighter. I joined inter-school events, focused on college entrance exam reviews, had the time of my life with friends I’ve neglected for the past two years. Literally anything that could occupy my time and the empty feeling I had in me, and yet, there were still nights when the pain would get so unbearable I began to ask if the good times were ever even worth this suffering. It got my mind off winning a Palanca award since all I wanted was to feel better and I didn’t think I could take another heartbreak if I didn’t win. I prayed a lot, took refuge in my faith that God will never fail me with the help of my friend Sofia, who encouraged me to read the Bible when I could. Now, I feel calmer whenever I realize that this was something God was telling me, to mold me into the person I was meant to be. He had His reasons, I just had to be strong and patient enough to see it through.

On the 5th of August 2017, I answered the door thinking that the shirt I ordered online had finally arrived. It surprised me when the courier handed me a smaller package. I remember asking, "Kuya, saan galing 'tong sulat?"

And him going, "Sa Palanca Awards po, Ma'am. Sumali po ba kayo? Nako mukhang nanalo kayo Ma'am ha! Malaki yang award na yan!"

My heart raced at the name of the sender. I laughed and said, "Nako, Kuya, wag mo kong paasahin baka masaktan ako!"

I ran to the dinning room, hands shaking so much I couldn't open the package. My brother, Kuya Rj, had to open it for me and give me the envelope. I CRIED when I read it. It was the first time in a long while that I shed tears because I was unbelievably happy. I ran upstairs to tell my parents, my mom wanting to immediately let her Facebook friends know. My dad told me he knew I had it in me. My friend, Justine, who was visiting that time reacted the same way. I told them I wanted to keep it a secret first. I told everyone I cared for and loved through private messages. It was the happiest day of my life, I was so overwhelmed with gratitude I wanted to reach out to the sky and give God the biggest hug. I was saved, blessed beyond measure.

After almost 3 eventful weeks, last night I finally got my award at The Manila Peninsula with my mother. Everything looked so beautiful, in my head I was internally screaming because I was in the presence of literary geniuses, renowned icons, and writers like me who couldn’t believe their luck. Table 18, the one where I sat with fellow 18 under winners and their lovely parents who were all accommodating. I never thought I’d ever experience being called upfront prior to the ceremony just so photographers could take our photo. Surreal, is what! I was almost half-expecting someone to come out and tell me I’m being pranked, or for me to wake up because surely I must be dreaming. I not nearly as good as everyone in that room. What did I do to deserve such honor? The dinner was great, and for a split second I regretted wearing a tight dress, I could eat all night! The tea was exceptional as well. The play presentation was entertaining, worthy of a Palanca indeed. Dr. Dalisay’s speech sparked something in me: a vision, maybe, of what it would be like to write (and speak) as well as he does. F. Sionil Jose sat two tables away from us, and I wanted a photo with him but he left earlier than expected. My mother fangirled over Cherry Pie Picache being in the same room (and the bathroom!) The feeling of coming up the stage and receiving the award was the most exhilarating thing I’ve experienced. Dr. Dalisay was right, I will never forget the first time I won a Palanca, that night. The certificate will keep me going through hard times, just as his did. I knew right then and there that only a few have had the same experience, and I am not letting it pass me by. I am determined to write for as long as I can, improving every year. I still have a long way to go, but I am excited for what the future holds for my writing career.

Thank you to everyone who believed in me and my writing. My family and friends, teachers, Adamson University--my second home since the 3rd grade, online readers since the dawn of my Wattpad fan fiction phase (slight cringe) after my short Jr. Total Girl Staff Writer stint at 12, to the birth of mariellewritesalot at 15, and now. Thank you God, for showing me You are never going to make me struggle without giving me blessings in return. Even with college entrance exams and my debut coming up, I feel like my 2017 has already been made. I can only hope for it to get even better.

This experience has humbled me and made me want to write more for the youth, and for our country. Mabuhay ang mga alagad ng sining!

Marielle Fatima Burog Tuazon. 17 years old. Palanca awardee, third prize for "The Pursuit of Lucidity" in the Kabataan Essay category. 🤗

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: I will be releasing a new short story in November to celebrate my 18 years of existence on that month! The tentative title is Our Last Good Day and it’s going to be the Young Adult short story you wouldn’t want to miss. More updates and hints coming your way, soon! If you want to read my past short stories, click here.

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jeremichal-archive · 7 years

Text

human error

I’ve been working on this fic for months and I’m so glad it’s finally done. I honestly really enjoyed writing this one, and I love these boys to pieces. So anyway, hope you enjoy & let me know what you think!

Pairing: Raychael Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol Mention, Minor Injuries & Guns

They haven’t spoken in six months: there’s been no brief, catch-up phone call full of awkward silences to set the clock back to zero; there’s been no quick text message of a joke shared in the heat of the moment, no followed up embarrassed message because they’d accidentally forgotten about the self-inflicted silence.

There’s been nothing to even suggest that Michael and Ray are even still best friends, or allies, or acquaintances.

It’s in the evenings, though, when things get… difficult. When Michael’s had one too many beers and he lacks that crippling fear that follows him when he’s sober; the one that demands he doesn’t contact Ray. His phone seems to taunt him on those nights, reminding him that his best friend is literally right there within his reach- that he could pick up the damn phone and call him, right now. And he’s come close, hand hovering over “BrownNERD” in his contacts list so many times that he’s lost count. He could call him, he could make the first move- but then he thinks about the last time they talked to each other- and Michael’s phone ends up tossed in his nightstand drawer, hidden away and ignored.

It’s like a song on repeat, one that Michael’s forced to constantly relive; so it’s not really a surprise when he finds himself in the same situation yet again. His phone is in his hand- a beer bottle in the other- so close to just taking that final leap. He’s pretty sure he’s drunk, there's a buzz in the back of his head and his fingers can’t stop twitching. So honestly, it’s a setup for failure, because if there’s one thing Michael knows about Ray, it’s that his best friend can’t stand it when he’s drunk.

(He finds it pathetic that he still calls Ray his best friend, since he can probably guess- for good reason, too- that he no longer holds that title from Ray.)

Back when they talked, back when Ray used to spend the night at Michael’s apartment without hesitation. There was a time- that Michael can only distantly remember- when Ray would crawl between his bed sheets and tuck his smaller body up against his. At first, he’d been hesitant, unsure of Ray’s motives- unsure of his own motives. But like everything else they did, a sense of familiarity quickly settled between them and it became second nature for Michael to wrap his arms around Ray’s waist and pull him tight against him. They’d lay like that, pressed together in a way that was usually reserved for lovers, yet seemed oddly perfect for them.

(Were they lovers? Did they pass some unseen point in time where they could confidently describe one another as their other half?)

“I hated him,” he would whisper, and Michael would freeze, hesitant to even breathe lest it results in Ray falling silent, “I hated him so much. He used to always smell like liquor; used to joke that his blood was ninety percent alcohol too. It was all a joke to him, didn’t give a fuck about what I thought. What I felt.”

If he thinks about it- if he lets himself fall back to that night- Michael’s pretty sure he can still remember his reply.

“I give a fuck about what you think.”

Even now, well into the point where he’s sure there’s no way to fix this, Michael know’s he still means it. God, he’s such a fucking idiot.

Six months will quickly turn into eight months if you don’t pay attention and so Michael tries to convince himself that if Ray wanted to talk to him, he’d message him. It’s a one-way ticket to regret, but Michael’s never been one to back down from a challenge.

He doesn’t call.

They have a timeline. It goes like this.

Michael is currently 29 years old. Ray is 27.

They met for the first time at 16 and 14, respectfully. They don’t become friends; rather Ray steals his backpack and Michael chases him three blocks, finally cornering the small kid in an alley beside a laundromat and a 7/11. He gives the kid a broken nose, a dislocated shoulder and leaves him there curled up in the dirt.

They meet again, for the second time, in a Taco Bell car park at 4 am. 20 and 18; neither of them quite able to forget the other since their first meeting. They don’t become friends; rather Ray breaks Michael’s arm and leave him bleeding out behind a shitty 2002 Toyota Camry- a bullet wound in his upper thigh. Even now though, Michael still doesn’t know if Ray missed his femoral artery on purpose, or by complete accident.

They meet again, for the third time; 23 and 21. They become friends, but how, Michael doesn’t even know himself.

He's standing on the sidewalk, watching his apartment building burn; He’s watching twenty-three years of junk, and memorabilia and possessions burn and yet he doesn’t care.

The fire department is doing their best to save the building, but whatever caused the fire originated from his apartment- so he knows it’s all gone. His guess, a grenade or two tossed through his window by the fire escape; but he’s not going upstairs to fucking play detective.

“I’m guessing this is where you used to live?”

The voice comes from behind him, but Michael doesn’t need to turn around to know who it belongs to. Funny enough, despite only meeting twice, Ray has been cemented into his memory whether he likes it or not. He’s seventy percent sure Ray also shares the same problem.

He can’t ignore the other forever though- not even sure he wants to- so in the end he does end up turning around, catching the sight of Ray’s blinding grin. Part of him wonders if this was Ray’s doing, but then he remembers bleeding out in a Taco Bell car park at 4am and he realises Ray already got his revenge.

They stare at each other for a few moments, both trying to silently decide if the other is worth their time when Ray sighs.

“You can stay at my place.”

So yeah, they become friends; but how, Michael doesn’t even know himself. Instead, he just thanks his lucky stars and thanks anyone who’s listening that he didn't become Ray’s nemesis in that moment instead.

He feels numb- from head to toe- the kind that starts slowly until it's all you can feel.

Maybe he’s dissociating, maybe he’s having a panic attack; all Michael knows is that he’s frozen on the spot- watching them. There was a point, where he’d thought they’d saw him- a brief moment of eye contact that had forced his heart to stop beating- but nothing but boredom flickered over Ray’s face so he chalked it up to paranoia.

He can see them through the front window of Ponsonby's- a clothing store well known for both its high-priced fashion and it’s bulletproof windows- and by God, it’s so hard not to just go to him. To walk up to Ray and say hello, or to hug him, or to get his shit kicked in by Geoff- who is to his left, flicking through the new imported suit jackets.

He knows he’d be unwelcomed, he knows that Ray would blanch at the sight of him; but it would almost be worth the black eye he’d receive to just hear Ray’s voice again.

His feet move without his permission, fast-paced steps that propel him to the clothing store. He makes it to the front door before he’s seen, before Ray’s eyes dart to catch the movement in the corner of his eye, before his gaze falls on Michael. Arm extended to push open the door, he watches his best friend’s face flash with a quick array of emotions. Once upon a time, he could read them all, could pick out Ray’s emotions with a quick glance and a low “What’s up?” Once upon a time, they were inseparable, but time is a bitch and things change relatively quickly in Los Santos.

After a moment, Ray shakes his head- a small movement that’s barely noticeable- and Michael swallows deeply. Geoff’s still not looking at him, Ray’s within reach and Michael’s not sure he can do this again.

It's a decision, it’s a choice: leave now and forget about him, or stay and don’t.

He pushes open the door, listening to the small bell jingle above him- but his eyes never stray from Ray’s face. Michael doesn’t understand how Ray can look so small standing beside Geoff. Like all of the fight has drained out of his body; it just looks wrong and Michael hates it. The man standing before him, it’s not his Ray, and it’s infuriating. So when he catches the slight flicker of fear in Ray’s eyes- his hands curl up into fists by his sides.

Because he’s the cause of this. This is his fault.

Geoff spins on his heel, reading the panic in Ray’s body language. His hand automatically moving to the gun tucked into the back of his pants by pure instinct- but when he sees Michael though, he pulls it out completely. It’s loaded, aimed and seconds away from being fired when Ray speaks.

“Oh, Michael. You weren’t the one who had to leave.”

To understand something, you must have the full story, that’s just how it goes.

He and Ray haven’t spoken in eight months; yeah, that’s true. But- that’s not all there is- there's a fact that’s been left out by purposeful omission. Michael hasn’t spoken to anyone in the fake ah crew in eight months, not just Ray.

And if there's one thing he knows, you can’t just leave the crew without consequence.

☾ ☽

They have a timeline. It goes like this.

At age 27, on March 16th, Michael takes a job for a man named Geoff Ramsey. He does what’s expected of him, doesn’t ask questions and goes back to his apartment to find Ray waiting for him. It’s fine, they’re fine.

At age 27, on June 3rd, Michael takes another job from Geoff Ramsey- his seventh? Eighth? He hasn’t kept count- but this time Ray joins him. They do what’s expected of them, they don’t ask questions; but while Ray’s waiting for him in his Adder, Geoff asks him a question. “Are you and that Brownman kid fucking? No sweat off my back if you are, just curious.” The question sticks with him so much, that Michael can’t sleep that night.

At age 28, on November 5th, Ray jumps off a roof after being chased by the lspd and breaks his ankle. He calls Michael- Michael who is halfway through a Mario Party game with Gavin and his girlfriends’ Lindsay and Meg; Michael who is slightly drunk and not at all in the right state to be driving- who rushes to meet him, catching his friend curled up in a dumpster with wet tear tracks drying on his face and an ankle that’s turning purple.

At age 28, on December 25th, Michael has six presents hidden in his bedroom closet, all for Ray. A new bong, two tickets to a Blink 182 concert, keys to a new motorcycle, a new pair of shoes, a snickers bar and grey beanie.

At age 28, on December 26th, Michael gets four presents from Ray. An engraved pocket knife, blue hair dye, a pair of socks and keys to a Volatus helicopter.

At age 28, on January 1st, Michael kisses Gavin when the countdown hits zero and everyone laughs. Everyone except Ray.

At age 28, on January 3rd, Michael corners Ray at the penthouse and asks him- no- demands- to know why he’s ignoring him. Ray tells him that he's not but then proceeds to bolt from the penthouse, leaving Michael doubting the truth of his words.

At age 28, on January 7th, Michael realises he’s an idiot.

Michael’s learnt Ray- a side effect of spending so much time together- so Michael knows, clear as day, that Ray is angry with him.

He just doesn't know why.

Watching Ray now- spine riged and shoulders tense- cursing at the coffee machine, it's obviously a situation he’s not going to be able to get out of with just a quick apology. He sighs lowly and moves quickly, leaning against the counter- staring at Ray’s back.

“What did I do?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

Ray sighs, something so defeated and spins to face Michael. Eye contact makes it worse, makes a low level of guilt settle in his stomach because of the hurt- pure, unhideable hurt- on Ray’s face cuts at him. He doesn’t know if Ray understands that Michael can read his so well, he doesn’t know if Ray thinks he’s still hiding his emotions, but he’s not.

He opens his mouth to say something, whether it’s too apologise or just to ask again what he's done to cause this, when Gavin’s bedroom door swings open.

The golden boy doesn't notice the thick smog of tension suffocating them, either out of obliviousness or ignorance, so he doesn't linger. But Michael’s fast- quick-witted and observant- so he can't help but notice the way Ray’s eyes harden when he catches sight of Gavin; the way his mouth falls open ever so slightly.

A tell, pointing directly at the source of his upset.

Oh.

Ray seems to realise that Michael understands in that moment too, eye contact breaking and fingernails digging into the skin of his palms. Michael wants to stop him, lest he draw blood and end up hurting himself, but he doesn’t dare touch Ray.

“Can we not- can we just not do this, Michael?” He whispers brokenly and Michael- the man known for his bravery- runs.

He nods slowly, takes a few steps back and then rushes to the front door- doing his best to avoid looking at the destroyed expression he knows is on Ray’s face.

So yeah, it takes haphazard love admission for Michael to run. He leaves and he doesn't come back, because love in this business is a death sentence and Michael’s not sure he could do that. Get attached, halve his soul and give part of it to Ray, only to watch it get destroyed when the inevitable happens- when Ray leaves… Or... when Ray dies.

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn to months; phone calls go unanswered and messages get ignored. The silence cuts at him, just enough for him to realise what he’s done- what he's invertedly lost.

He doesn't go back, because it's been to long and he’s missed his chance with Ray- messed up the life he had and could have had. He can't go back- because you don't just leave the crew by choice. He can't go back- because you don't just break your best friend’s- lovers- crushes- heart and then get to come back and ask for a second chance.

He's out. He stays out. He’s weak. He comes back.

Geoff lowers the gun pointed at him even so slightly, but it’s very obviously still aimed at his chest and Michael knows the threat is still there- unspoken. He knows that Geoff won't hesitate to shoot him if he presents himself as a risk, if he tried to start something inside the small clothing store. If he even so happens to look at either of them wrong, Geoff will shoot, no hesitation- even if they were practically family before he left.

Michael knows he’s not a risk- at least, not to his family, to his crew- but Ray has taken a step back from him and Michael can see that he’s a second away from running. Ray’s afraid of him, and he’d be stupid not to know why. The last time they saw each other, the last time they talked to each other, Ray let slip his feelings and Michael crushed them under his feet on his way out of the penthouse.

The words stuck to the tip of his tongue would be easier to say if Geoff weren’t standing in the room with them. He hadn’t thought this far ahead when he pushed open the glass doors, he hadn’t thought at all really- an action based on a whim that he can’t back out of now. So he doesn’t- instead he stands a little taller, puffs out his chest slightly to give the illusion of confidence and glances at Geoff out of the corner of his eye.

The older man’s a mind reader- Michael’s absolutely sure - because he jerks the gun back up and shakes it at him. “Nah, no way buddy. You’re an idiot if you think I’m leaving you alone with him for even a half a second,” Geoff says. He plants his feet firmly in a stance that tells Michael there’ll be no arguing with him and Michael sighs, looking back at Ray.

He feels like he’s seven again, trying to apologise to his foster-mother for very deliberately starting a fire in the backyard. He feels like he’s ten again, trying to apologise to his teacher for calling her a ‘stupid bitch’ for giving him homework on a Friday. He feels like he’s twenty again, trying to apologise to a Puerto Rican kid in a Taco Bell carpark because he just can’t seem to stop. He can’t seem to just stop provoking those types of situations, the one’s where he knows he’s in the wrong, but his words of apology never come.

Ray takes pity on him, or maybe he’s just trying to end the conversation faster, because he ducks his head slightly and mumbles, “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Michael- I get it.” It’s an out, he’s offering Micael an out- but he can’t help but grit his teeth at such a submissive action. That’s not Ray, that’s nothing like Ray; to give up without a fight, to let Michael get away without retribution for his actions- it’s almost as if he’s talking to a completely different person.

“What?” he spits, something a bit too aggressive for Geoff, who furrows his brow and gives Michael a dark look. So he tries again, removing all trace of harshness from his tone. “What? What is that supposed to mean?” He’s not finished, he shouldn’t be finished; he should tell Ray that this is all on him, that he’s the one to blame for this whole shit storm. He should apologise, he should just do anything really, other than just stand there and stare at his best friend.

But he doesn’t, because Michael doesn’t know how to apologise.

Ray just shrugs, hunching in on himself but he still holds eye contact. “Come on man, don’t- don’t play stupid, yeah? I fucked things up, brought feelings into this- into us - and so I get why you left. Don’t- don’t make me, fuck, please don’t...”

Michael’s stomach drops, and the breath he sucks in sounds harsh even to himself.

Ray’s taking the blame, he’s taking Michael’s fault and putting it on his own shoulders; Michael has the small thought that maybe that’s why he stopped calling, why he stopped messaging- not because he blamed Michael for just leaving, but because he thought Michael blamed him for making them complicated. He opens his mouth- to apologise, to beg for forgiveness, to just get Ray back - but all that comes out is dead air and Ray sinks in on himself, curling up on himself and ducking his head.

“Alright, fuck off Michael- you useless prick. You had your chance, now get out of my sight,” Geoff spits and Michael jerks back, finding himself agreeing with Geoff’s cutthroat words.

He looks down at the floor, mind quickly filling with self-loathing as he realises that he’s doing it again; he’s seven and he’s getting sent back to the group home again because he’s too difficult to look after. He’s ten again, getting a week's suspension for the fifth time already that year. He’s twenty again, bleeding out with a bullet wound because he just doesn’t know when to stop. He doesn’t know when to stop.

He doesn’t know when to stop.

He sucks in a small breath and lets it out through clenched teeth, glancing back up at Ray one last time before he has to leave. His best friend isn’t looking at him, eyes deliberately turned away and Michael hates it.

“This isn’t your fault, Ray.”

The words just slip out without a second thought, and Michael catches sight of Ray’s head snapping up so he can meet his eyes. But Michael’s already pushing his way out of the clothing store, heartbeat pounding in his chest because it might not have been an apology, it might not have been what Ray needed.

But it was a start.

It’s two days later when his phone buzzes from its place on his night stand, that he realises just how much he missed this. Just how much he missed Ray- missed talking to him, missed being with him, missed knowing him. It's a simple text, nothing more than a basic ‘hey’ - but it means the world to Michael. He just sits there for a while, reading and re-reading the one-word text again and again, trying to convince himself that it’s real. They’ve got to talk, that’s why Ray is texting him of course, but Michael just needs a moment first- before things get heavy. He sucks in a breath and shoots back a quick, ‘hey’ in return.

He needs things to go back to how they were- no, he needs things to get better. He doesn’t want Ray to hide from him, he doesn’t want to run from the people he cares about- he wants. He just wants.

From brownNERD

‘Uh, I’ve missed you,’

Michael doesn’t know how Ray can just throw himself out there so easily, as if he still trusts Michael. God knows he couldn’t do that, but Ray’s always been just a bit better than him at everything, so it shouldn’t really surprise him that much. He swallows down his own unease and quickly types out his reply, fingers shaking.

To brownNERD

‘I’ve missed you too.’

Don’t leave the conversation dead, Michael tries to tell himself, don’t force this onto Ray; don’t make him have to keep this alive - but he can’t and he grits his teeth. He can’t keep it going, because everything he want’s to say is too much. He wants to apologise, he wants to tell Ray just how much he misses them falling asleep together, he wants to tell Ray just how much he loves him and how much that scares him- but the words stick to his tongue and he can’t.

He’s stuck in his own emotional incompetence and it’s aggravating.

From brownNERD

‘So, ah, what did you mean?’

‘Like, when you said it wasn’t my fault?’

‘Of course it’s my fault, Michael,'

‘You don’t have to lie to me,

He’s dialing Ray’s phone number before he even realises it, and when the line clicks over and he knows Ray’s listening, time just seems to stop. Because he can hear Ray breathing through the phone, can picture him so clearly sitting in his apartment, in the penthouse, waiting for Michael to talk- and it’s definitely Michael who has to speak first, he called, he talks.

“It’s not your fault,” he whispers and Ray’s breath hitches audibly. “It’s not your fault. It's mine? Cause I’m an idiot? You know that right?” He poses it like a question, but he’s not waiting for an answer. Ray tries though, a small, “Michael-” slips past his lips but he effectively cuts him off. He’s gotta get it out, he can’t just keep giving up- he has to stop.

“I am, it’s not a question. I-I’m an idiot and I’m so s-sor- fuck. Look, I left- I ran, because I can’t- I can’t, shit. But you need to understand, that this isn’t on you, it’s on me,” he says, words tumbling out in a rush and Michael’s not even sure if Ray can understand him. His heart is pounding, because this is it? This is all he can muster for an apology? He grits his teeth, wishing he could do better; wishing he could be better. Be something that Ray deserves, be someone that Ray deserves- instead of what he is now, an emotionally constipated criminal that can’t tell his best friend he loves him.

“Michael, Michael stop- you can’t, you can’t take all the blame, yeah? I fell for, uh, I complicated things, and you don’t do complicated, so I should have known better,” Ray replies, just as rushed and just as panicked as Michael. He’d laugh, in any other moment, at how ridiculous they sound- trying to convince the other that they’re not to blame- but right now Michael can’t do anything but squeeze his eyes shut and argue back.

“No, I can- I can, I swear. I can do complicated, we were doing complicated, right? I wasn’t imagining it? We were doing complicated long before we even realised it ourselves. It just, scared me? To realise, so explicitly, what we were becoming. It scared me and I ran, leaving you alone- but I won't do it again. Fuck, never again,” he swears, and Ray’s quiet on the other side of the phone. He doesn’t answer, and Michael’s stomach drops. He can’t stand the silence, so he tries again, words a lot more hesitant this time.

“Ah… I just, I fucked up. I made you think, for eight months, that this was all on you- all because I was too afraid to call you. So yeah… this is my fault, I should just- I should just go.” He lets his words sit for a second, waiting for something from Ray; whether it’s angry yelling or a cold dismissal, he just wants any sort of reaction. But Ray stays quiet and Michael sighs, pulling his phone away from his ear and hanging up the call.

Now that Ray knows, now that Ray realises that it’s Michael’s fault- he doesn’t want to deal with him, not that Michael blames him. It’s just a bit to hard to stomach the idea, to know for sure that nothing is salvageable between the two of them and so Michael turns off his phone, discarding it into the top drawer of his bedside table. He rolls over, tugging the sheets over his head and presses his face into his pillow, trying to block out the world.

He still hasn’t apologised.

Something rouses Michael awake at 4:49am, and he just lays there, staring at the ceiling above him. He’s going to be useless today, he can just see it- the heavy fog of depression settling over him so early in the morning. There’s a small amount of light filling the room, and he blinks his eyes a few times to adjust to the change, but he doesn’t have the energy to climb out of bed and fix the curtains. He wants to go back, back in time to when they were simpler, back to when Michael could pull Ray into his arms without questioning if they were something.

He sucks in a shaky breath and deliberately ignores the sound of footsteps shuffling around his apartment. He’s got nothing worth stealing here, everything he owns is at the penthouse- which he hasn’t been to in eight months- and if they’re there to kill him, then he’ll get a few good hits before he goes down. He rolls over onto his side the same moment his bedroom door opens, and squeezes his eyes shut. He waits for the press of a knife or the click of a gun, but all he gets in return are fingers touching gently against his face and the sight of Ray when he opens his eyes.

Part of him wonders if maybe he’s just hallucinating since Ray shouldn’t be there in front of him, Ray shouldn’t want anything to do with him- but he’s there, he’s real and Michael’s heart starts pounding in his chest. Ray moves slowly, hands pressing against Michael’s shoulders to push him backwards until there’s enough room for him to slide in underneath the bedsheets and press his body up against Michael’s. It’s an instant reaction, the second Ray relaxes against him, that Michael’s arms encircle him and pull him tight against his chest.

And then he realises what he’s done.

He’s about to let go, about to apologise for touching him like they used to, but Ray presses his face into the hollow of Michael’s neck and his grip involuntarily tightens. They lie there for a while, neither of them daring to utter a single word and Michael relishes the feeling of having Ray in his arms. He tried to commit the feeling to memory, so that if he never gets the opportunity to have this again, at least he has something.

He feels Ray shift against him, pulling back ever so slightly so that they’re face to face and Michael glances down at him, hands resting in the hollow of his spine.

“You scared the shit out of me, Michael,” he mumbles and Michael opens his mouth to try and apologise, again and again till Ray knows how much he means it- till the words don’t seem real anymore. But Ray reaches up between them and presses a finger to his lips, effectively quieting him and Michael’s not sure if he’d be able to anyway. But it’s not his turn to talk, so he’ll keep his mouth shut and just listen, he can do that, he can do that for Ray. “You left, and I thought I’d never get to see you again. I told myself that I could handle a bit of rejection, that I would bounce back and we’d move on- and it would be fine. But then you didn’t come back, week after week you were gone and I thought, fuck I’ve ruined us.”

“I was afraid,” he whispers back, and Ray meets his gaze. “I was afraid that I’d missed my chance with you, I was afraid to come back and find that you’d moved on and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, cause it would be my own fault.”

Ray shakes his head, a slow deliberate movement and mutters, “You broke my nose, remember? I was fourteen and trying to steal shit so I could pawn it for money, so my dad could pay some bills. You broke my nose and yet I still fucking fell in lo-” he cuts himself off and Michael feels the way Ray tenses in his arms. Love. He was going to say love. “I still fucking… didn’t leave...” he finishes lamely, and Michael can’t help but squeeze his eyes shut.

He remembers that day, watching the fear flicker over Ray’s face before he desperately tried to hide it behind false bravado. He remembers being so angry that someone was trying to take something of his, when he barely had anything to begin with. He remembers the pop sound that echoed throughout the alley after he dislocated Ray’s shoulder and the pained scream that followed after.

“Yeah, I remember,” he mumbles, because how could he forget.

“And then I shot you.”

That one's a bit harder, mind fuzzy from the blood loss. He knows they argued, he know’s they tossed insults at each other like they were playing a game of tennis. And he knows that he went too far, cause that’s what he always does.

“Yeah.”

“My dad told me, before he died, that if you ever wanted to kill someone quickly, shoot for their femoral artery. He showed me where to hit.” He pushes himself up onto his elbows, catching Michael’s eyes with a serious look and says, “I knew how to kill you, I could have killed you, but I looked at you and I thought, four years. It had been four years since I last saw you, and I wanted to see you again in four years time. And four years after that. I wanted to know why you fought for a shitty backpack so damn hard, I wanted to know why you were at a Taco Bell carpark at 4am, I wanted to know why you didn’t flinch when I pulled my gun on you. And I couldn’t do that if I killed you.”

Michael stares back at him, letting Ray’s words sink in for a moment. “You kept me alive… because my stubborn ass refused to let you think that you intimidated me?”

Ray laughs, shaking his head slowly before lowering himself back down again. “When you put it like that, it sounds stupid- but yeah. That’s exactly why.”

Michael huffs, but on the inside he’s happy that Ray deliberately chose to keep him alive. He’s glad that it wasn’t just a fluke, a lucky miss. “Nah- it’s perfect,” he says, “it suits us.” And the smile Ray offers him in return makes his heart stop beating momentarily. Something must show on his face, something a bit more tender- something that resembles just how much Michael loves him- because in the next moment Ray is tugging his face down until their lips meet and then Michael sees stars.

He doesn’t waste a second, hands gripping Ray’s waist so tight he’s afraid he might leave bruises. He pulls him in close, until they’re chest to chest and he can feel Ray’s heart pounding beneath him- and he kisses the boy back for all he’s worth. It’s like being kissed by lightning, and Michael can’t help but enjoy the burn. It’s everything he wanted it to be, it’s everything he imagined it to be and he doesn’t want to stop. He doesn’t want to stop.

Ray pulls back with a gasp, and when Michael tries to dip in for another kiss, he laughs, tilting his head away slightly. “C’mon man, need to breathe,” he mutters and without a word, Michael just shifts his attention to Ray’s jawline- peppering little kisses across it’s length. He has Ray right where he wants him, and he’d be damned if he’s going to let him go just yet. Ray, for the most part, seems content to be littered with little kisses and he lets out a soft sigh. “You’ll come back to the p-penthouse with me, yeah?” he asks, “G-Geoff will get over himself, he can’t stay mad forever- and I know everyone else misses you. Come back, yeah?”

Michael pauses his onslaught, pulling back just enough to catch Ray’s gaze with a sigh. “I left,” he says and Ray nods.

“Yeah, you did. But that doesn’t mean you can’t come back.”

“Geoff almost tried to kill me the last time he saw me,” he argues and Ray snorts, shaking his head.

“He was just being pissy cause he thought you broke my heart- you know good old daddy Geoff.” Michael watches Ray’s hands drift upwards, until the come to rest on his chest, fingers rubbing small circles into his skin. “We’ll go back, I’ll tell Geoff that were-” he pauses and Michael’s not going to let him out of this one so easy.

“That were dating. That I love you.”

Ray’s breath hitches the same moment Michael’s anxiety spikes, but he ignores it, because this has been a long time coming. It takes Ray a few moments to respond, but when he does it's with a wide grin. “Yeah. I’ll tell Geoff that were dating and that you love me. But I’ll also make sure to tell him that I love y-you too- because I do. I love you, Michael.”

Michael doesn’t answer, instead he just leans in quickly and captures Ray’s mouth in a kiss. He kisses Ray until he feels light headed, he kisses him until they have to pull away lest the pass out, he kisses Ray with everything he’s got, because he can . And when they do pull back, Ray’s lips are pink and puffy, and he looks completely ruined- and it’s everything Michael’s dreamed it to be.

But he still hasn’t apologised. And he needs to fix that.

He offers Ray a small, hesitant smile and rests their foreheads together, watching Ray closely as he whispers, “Hey- I need to, I have to say something, yeah? I can’t- I suck at this sort of thing. Never was able to, never could quite take responsibility for my actions growing up. But I need to-” he sucks in a breath- “I need to say I’m s-sorry, yeah? These last eight months, I put you through hell cause- cause I freaked out, but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, and I swear I’ll never do that to you again.”

Ray smiles back softly, hands moving to frame Michael’s face. “I’m sure the last eight months were just as bad for you, as they were for me, Michael,” he says, and Michael nods, albeit a bit awkwardly with Ray’s hands holding him. “But thank you. Yeah, I-I accept your apology. And just know, that if you do fuck up again, Geoff will be coming for you with a shotgun next time.”

Michael laughs, something loud and carefree- and it doesn’t take long before Ray joins in too, both of them giggling messes, wrapped around each other on Michael’s bed. It’s so much better than before, because now Michael can press kisses into the curve of Ray’s neck and he can run his hands underneath Ray’s shirt. It’s so much better than before, and Michael doesn’t know why he needed eight months to realise it.

#raychael #mine

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halfcupofcoffee-blog · 7 years

Text

I actually slept all night. I was sure I would be awake all night again. Well, now I'm gonna tell you about my troubled childhood *dramatic music* I was born December 12, 1997 in Winchester, Virginia. We lived in Martinsburg, West Virginia where Dad's family (and at the moment Mom's) live, but after bad experience with the Doctors there with my older sister, Mom and Dad decided not to go to the hospital there to have me. Two weeks after my birth, we moved to Atlanta, Georgia where my Mother's parents had recently moved. We actually lived in Decatur, GA but it's not really important. I obviously don't remember most of the first two or three years of my life. Somewhere in those years, my younger sister was born. We moved houses twice before I was four. When I was 7, my Dad's job was going to move us to a small Mayberry sort of town called Bristol, Tennessee. So we packed up all our stuff and about a week before we were going to leave, we came home to a house that had been broken into. I'm honestly surprised it took that long. We didn't live in the greatest neighborhood. It wasn't one of those clean sweep robberies. It was actually one of those ones where it looked like they decided our stuff wasn't all that great and only took things we would miss like our TV and a couple DVDs. I remember going inside and all of us stopping in the front hallway at the door. Us kids didn't realize what had happened, but we knew something was wrong. I remember looking into the kitchen and seeing every single cabinet and drawer open. I remember asking mom is she left them like that before they shoved us back in the car and locked the doors while they checked the rest of the house. A couple of people from our church came over and this girl we were friends with cane and sat with us in the car. I remember my older sister crying a lot. The rest of the week we stayed at our grandparents house. Dad still had to get all our stuff out of the house and kept asking if we wanted to go help. We were all to scared to go, but I remember going with him one day. I didn't help at all, I just remember being too scared to go into my own bedroom. Anyway, we moved to Tennessee and I don't remember much until we were completely moved in. The first day I remember is the day we met a girl who lived up the street from us. Her name is Lauren and she became my best friend. We lived there until I was 11. We went to public school, which is the first experience we had with anything but homeschooling. I went through 2nd-5th grade in public school. I liked it quite a bit. I mainly liked riding the bus to and from school. I had my bedroom in the attic and at the time I hated it because it was always too hot or too cold up there but now I wish we hadn't moved. I loved Bristol. It was a whole lot safer than Decatur. And then we moved BACK to Atlanta. We lived in a nice house where I got my own room for exactly 10 months. The walls were sea foam green. We went back to being homeschooled, thus began the loneliest four years of my life. When those ten months were up, we moved to a house that was basically in my grandparents' back yard. That house was where I spent all my time reading books. I read too many books to remember them all. I read all the original Percy Jackson books there. That Place was also where my mom finally let me read Harry Potter. My walls were covered in Harry Potter posters and Taylor Swift posters. I was 12 what can I say? Me and my younger sister spent a lot or our time playing in the half finished basement and in the woods behind the house. And then we moved again after about a year. We moved to a house just down the road and around the corner, on the same street with my grandparents and my Aunt. We lived there the longest so far. It was three years we lived there. There I got into music. I bought my first guitar for $109.93. I paid in cash all the way down to the Penny. I named him Joe Beatle because of a Joke in the TV show from the 60s called The Monkees. I also started writing there. I wrote really bad FanFiction. We didn't have WiFi so I was just saving them into documents on the computer. When we did get a connection finally, I joined a FanFiction website and posted there. I got pretty popular with The Beatle community on there. All this time I didn't have a single person my age for a friend. Just my younger sister who also was writing bad FanFiction. We took turns reading each other's stories. When we got online we had friends there who we talked to for years over skype and messaging but they faded eventually too. Our Dachshund died when we lived there. He was old when we got him and he lived with us until I was 16-ish. We had a mutual hatred for each other. My dad buried him in our grandparents back yard. We also joined a homeschool group where I gained a friend who I only see now because my younger sister is friends with her younger sister. And then we moved again. This time into my grandparents' house where I shared a bedroom with both of my sisters because of lack of space. We lived there for two years and the only good thing about it was there was a pool and a roof we could sit in outside our window. Living there was probably the worst place we ever lived mainly because we were plunged into someone else's life. Before we could do what we liked mainly. Now we had extra chores and we had to hear the constant chatter of news talk radio that my grandad listened too. When I graduated, my grandad gave me a blue Fender stratocaster with an amp. Greatest gift I've ever gotten. I named him Chrysanthemum Cleaver (after a reference to a character in Eragon) or Eric (after Eric Clapton). That same summer was actually the best I'd ever had. I got to see Jimmy, who I hadn't seen in like 6 years, and another guy called Caleb who I hadn't seen in 8 years. I had known them my entire life. I used to see them every summer but things changed and that didn't happen for a long time. Then we got to go to a Twenty one Pilots concert, which was actually the best concert even though I've only been to two in my whole life. The other was Colton Dixon and Building 429 in October but it wasn't as good. TØP was amazing. We moved into the house we live in now in August. I share a bedroom with my younger sister and we share a bookshelf -- where we keep all our books, which is quite a lot -- a record player where we both have quite a few records, and we share that corner to store our instruments. Combined, we have two electric guitars (both mine. The fender and a Gretsch Pro Jet named NEZ), two acoustic guitars (one mine the other is hers), a Fender Bass named Macca, and two ukuleles. In November Caleb and Jimmy came for a visit. That was a really good week. We had a lot of fun and generally drank a lot of hot tea. But that's basically it. My life up until now. Pretty boring and unnecessarily long. No idea what I'll post next. Maybe I'll talk about Dr. Who? Which is on TV right now. Probably not, though...

#probably not though #doctor who #life #fender #Gretsch #music #books #the Monkees #the Beatles #Harry Potter #Percy Jackson #Atlanta #Bristol

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