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wonderinc-sonic · 3 months

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TDW 4 - "Medicine for Malware" on Ao3

2.7k Gen, All Audiences

Slice of Life, Illness, germaphobia, Silly, Domestic, Post-Comic Arc: Metal Virus (Sonic the Hedgehog)

TDW 4: Creation // Malfunction - I chose Malfunction

Shadow takes any potential malady a bit too seriously, but when it comes to friends it really can't take risks.

Shadow started the coffee machine in Rouge's kitchen. Once the beans had crushed for her drink, it snuck a few out the top that hadn't gone through the grinder, crunching furtively. It flicked its ears back to face away from the whirring.

She was under a blanket, and on the phone to some sister, or friend from school, or whoever else Rouge knew. They were laughing about something.

"That's so grim. A judge couldn't drag that out of me!" She cackled. The person on the other end said something that made her snort even more, then said something else. Rouge was quiet for a moment, flicking through something on her phone.

"Oh, god, that was tomorrow. I'm gonna have to pass, I'm, er, actually not feeling well. Sure, I mean I didn't wanna say, kill the vibe, but yeah it's kinda nasty. Uh huh, don't think I should go far from the bathroom. God, no don't catch it. Oh, thanks I will. You have a lovely time! I, er, actually gotta go right now, see-ya-mwamwa-bye-" she hung up the phone with urgency, then leant back on the sofa and smiled to herself, tucking the blanket under her chin.

"A-hem! Barista?"

Shadow plonked the mug in her hand and rolled its eyes.

"What?" She shrugged.

"Why lie? You should say you don't want to go."

She blew on the foam and smiled toothily; "The plan was to set her up with the only other person who won't bail, somewhere they're in bikinis. I think it'll go swimmingly."

"That's invasive of you."

"Sure is! But it wasn't a total lie, I don't feel great, and I would rather stay in."

Shadow's fur stood on end, but it didn't move. Rouge didn't notice, flicking through the TV channels unimpressed.

"You feel ill?"

"Enough to sit in front of the sofa and be waited on, sure."

"What are your symptoms?"

"Eh? Oh, nothing that bad. Usual stuff, y'know. I just don't fancy a waterpark."

"Is it the caffeine? I will take this away. Dairy is also an irritant to the gut."

"What- no, it's not food! I just want to stay in and rest, I'm tired. What's wrong?"

Shadow took the coffee from her hand and poured it down the sink, holding the mug with only its fingertips, and took a deep breath. It disappeared into a room, which she thought was odd until she realised it was her room.

"Oi- what are you doing? Get out of there!"

It reappeared, and let the breath go, having opened all the windows in her room and placed the washing up bowl next to her nightstand.

"Go to bed."

"Go to hell! This is my house, don't tell me what to do!"

"Bed. Now. You're ill. I will manage all duties. Do not move fast, but go immediately."

She tilted her head, but scooped up the blankets and her phone and laptop.

"Well whatever, weirdo. I didn't wanna hang out with you anyway. Sure, you wanna do things for me? Go buy my shopping, then, and do a couple loads of laundry while you're at it. I want takeaway for dinner, and it better be nice. That's what this terrible disease demands - chop chop!" She huffed, and it distinctly thought it heard the word 'dumbass' as she closed the door.

Shadow threw its gloves in the washing machine, and started scrubbing down its hands, arms and face in the kitchen sink. It cleaned the surfaces with a bleach cleaner, and put every soft fabric surface in the washing machine too, setting it to very hot. It finished opening the windows in the flat, and stared out, hands shaking.

Tests would be needed, and Shadow would of course need to administer them to reduce any further contact, at risk of picking up a greater potential viral load. They would need a double seal on the entryway for incoming supplies, or some method of receiving from the outside world that couldnt transmit disease...

Shadow tapped out a message to E-123 Omega with trembling bare fingers.

It could hear the sounds of banal television from Rouge's room when Omega arrived with ample groceries and a bit less ammunition than he set off with.

"I do not like Waitruse. I am coincidentally no longer welcome in Waitruse."

"Clean yourself down this instance." Shadow barked, tossing a cloth and isopropyl alcohol to Omega, who dropped all the shopping and caught both. Shadow laid a bowl of soup and bottle of still water on a tray in front of him, with a little packet from the shopping bags.

"Take this to her, then immediately clean yourself again. Take her temperature, the instructions are here."

Omega looked dimly over the sealed thermometer, and barged open Rouge's bedroom door, as Shadow darted to the window to breathe the clean air.

"Why are you in bed?"

"I've been sent to bed, oh thank god some lunch. Has it done my washing yet? I want my fuzzy slippers. And make it fill my hot water bottle. And kick it, just because." Rouge yawned, taking the soup and eyeing Omega's shining chest.

"Did you wash?"

"I was forced to. What is your core temperature reading?"

"How should I know? Normal temperature? I'm fine."

"Puny meatbag, insufficient internal data. I will perform manual test."

Rouge huffed and put the soup down, then shuffled up in her bed as a thermometer was stuffed in her mouth.

"38.5°C. Within normal range of Bat. Why is Shadow afraid of you?" Omega huffed.

Rouge blinked dimly, and paused the sitcom as she thought.

"Is it? I thought it was angry with me? Shadow! Why are you scared?" She shouted through the door, but Omega stopped her.

"You will leave until we know it is Shadow who is faulty. I will reconvene."

As he shut the door, Shadow was spraying him down.

"She is bat temperature."

"Go back in with this kit."

"Query: why are you cleaning me again? Illogical order of events. Clean once after contamination."

Shadow huffed, and threw some testing kits at Omega.

On the other side of the door, Rouge groaned.

"Oh my god, is it some kind of germophobe now? Honestly, one zombie apocalypse and everyone and their granny is a virus expert." She grumbled, sticking a swab up her nose as instructed.

"Unclear: are you malfunctioning? Rouge is not known for compliance with orders."

"No. I wanted to laze around today anyway. It's normal, Omega, don't let Shadow spook you."

"If Shadow is wrong, why comply with its idiocy?"

"Because my stomach aches and I don't want to fight right now. If it wants to spend the day playing doctor, then it can knock itself out. You done? Thanks for the soup. Now go play somewhere else, apparently I'm contagious." She growled, stuffing the completed tests into his hands and shuffling back into bed. Omega left, something nervous churning in his core processor.

Shadow took the tests in a pair of rubber gloves and laid them out on labels it had prepared.

"Clean yourself off, and you can go. You are highly unlikely to incubate a disease."

"Query: why am I expendable to infection?"

Shadow glared at him, and shook its head like he was being stupid.

"You're a machine. We have no evidence you can be infected with anything biological. I am apparently not so fortunate. I'll have to stay isolated too."

When Omega stared nonplussed, it sighed, covering each little test strip with a glass as it expanded:

"On the ARK new crew spent 3 weeks in solitary confinement, sealed with a different air cycling system. I thought it was excessive, but I see now..." Shadow stopped, bearing its teeth and closing its hands into fists.

"It was only with those careful measures that Maria could stay well. Even the smallest illness in mortals can be deadly. And you are less likely to carry transmissable diseases than I, even if I don't become as unwell as others."

Omega's head felt light again as he thought about how deadly mobian infections had proved they could be. He spread his arms out to let the excess heat leave his body quicker.

"... Concern level unwarranted. Rouge is lazy, hungry and grumpy: she is clearly in normal Rouge condition."

Shadow tutted its tongue, and scrubbed its hands again, before it began to sanitise the shopping. It quirked its ear back as Omega whirred hard.

"What? Are you thinking? Try not to."

"Unit has no thoughts."

"Lies, your fans are going."

Omega looked down at his chest and bonked the fans.

"Nothing can be wrong. They are... congested, working theory. Take them out immediately."

Shadow frowned, but took a screwdriver to Omega's chest. When its damp hands touched the barrel the water hissed.

"You are very warm. Something is wrong."

"Ridiculous! Robots are immune to fever."

"I know. I meant mechanically."

"Query: can machines run a fever? Time sensitive. Urgent. Respond now."

"No. I just said that, calm down."

"Secondary opinion required! Acquire more testing aparatus!"

"You want a swab? For what? How do you suppose you'll get a saliva sample?"

Omega spun his wrists in panic, and clanked to the ground as Shadow tripped the back of his knee.

"I am in peril!"

"You are incorrigible. Sit down, I'll check inside."

"Urgent: Shadow is machine and meat. Shadow is susceptible to all viruses! Beware my malware!"

Shadow flexed its hands in and out of fists, and bore its teeth.

"I'll risk it. Stop moving."

It opened his chest, and started carefully unpacking the wires.

"Beep. Beep. Beep." Omega trilled rhythmically while it laid all the pieces out on the floor meticulously, digging for his fans. As Shadow's fingers came close to the motherboard, the beeping surely sped up, because it was in tune with its own hammering heart. Something hissed and rumbled in the background, and it wiped sweat from its brow. It had watched Rouge do this thousands of times, but what was that blue coil again? It touched a latch carefully.

"Ooh, wouldn't do that if I were you." Rouge whispered over its shoulder.

Shadow sprang from Omega and her, clinging to the curtains where it landed. Omega gasped dramatically.

"Urgent! What has it touched! Shadow has forsaken its brother!"

Rouge tittered, and stuck her hand boldly into Omega, cuddling a freshly filled hot water bottle to her stomach.

"Rouge must leave! This unit is compromised by her diseases!"

"More like my fur - when did you last clean your fans, Omega?" She huffed, yanking a greyish mound made of white fur and black spines from one of his fans.

"Get back in your room! I can't help you if you make me sick!" Shadow hissed, as Rouge glared at it, clipping Omega's chest back on. He whirred his fans fast, but they only whooshed this time, instead of roaring.

"Why did you open his whole chest instead of the back panel to get to his fans? Are you feeling alright, idiot?"

"Critical Failure: Rouge's malady is spread to Shadow! The whole team is compromised."

Rouge clutched the hot water bottle and pulled herself up, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Do I need to explain to you two there are some things you literally cannot catch? Beyond yourselves not being susceptible, but completely uncontagious? Are you that dense?"

Omega scratched at the nape of his neck, trying to open the panel with his finger. Shadow climbed down the curtain and unscrewed it, eyeing Rouge carefully as Omega's fans were exposed and spluttered out more fluff and dust.

"... I thought I couldn't catch and spread anything. That was my design, I never doubted it was true. I won't make the same mistake twice."

Rouge pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded.

"Right. I get that. But, you never used to think I'm dying when I got a headache, or try to take Omega apart when he's a bit dirty. You're gonna have to go back to that."

Shadow nodded, but visibly leant away from her still. She sighed.

"Shadow, I'm so confident, I'd bet... my whole fridge that you won't catch what I have. Does that ease anything?"

"Fridge is replacable. I won't go out until we are passed the infection window."

"I would bet the whole house."

"It isn't actually yours."

Rouge clapped a hand on Omega's metal body: "I bet the 'bot you can't get what I have. So stop worrying." She smiled tiredly at Shadow, and it weighed up how serious she could be.

"This unit is not a pawn! Omega is Queen of Chess Board!"

"So I win Omega if I get sick? Perhaps that's a fair deal." It smirked slightly, as Omega spun his head between them.

"Oh sure, buddy, I'm that confident you'll be fine. And if I'm right?"

"Well, you can have Omega, obviously."

"Protestation! This is not obvious!"

"Fine, I guess I'll take Omega. How about I'll keep him for now, and when you catch my period, you can come claim him, how's that?"

"... that didn't occur to me. Fine, you win Omega."

"Idiot. I change my mind, I don't want just him. If you lose, you can keep serving me til I'm 'better'. And I am going back to bed. Actually, Omega: you're mine now so princess carry me. Then make me a mocha."

"This unit did not consent to bet!"

"Caffeine is still an irritant-"

"Irritant yourself."

"-As is your fur to his fans. You shouldn't keep him in your room, it's filthy in there." Shadow huffed, shunting the fur tumbleweed around with his toes.

"Oh, you're volunteering to clean that too? How thoughtful!"

Omega growled metalically.

"Conversation Moot! This unit is not won! He will go wherever he wants!" Omega huffed, and Rouge tapped a hand on his forehead, shushing softly.

"Careful, all that bluster has you feeling a little warm, big guy! What was that talk of malware? Maybe you need some soup and a bath?" She laughed softly, but put herself to bed. Omega turned on his heel and plugged himself into the internet port, downloading an antivirus update.

In just twenty minutes, he was in a half-sleep mode, whirring away at the foot of Rouge's bed, while she flicked through crap TV. Shadow lay on top of the duvet criticising everything, and flinching everytime she groaned. She shifted in her bed, and its ears pinned back to its head.

"Really not a big deal, Shadow."

Shadow nodded, staring at the screen.

"You wanna talk?"

It shook its head.

"Fine by me." She snickered, and they both groaned at a laugh track, so Rouge changed the channel again.

"You..." Shadow began, then shook its head.

"I? Moi? My favourite topic?"

"You have to take care of yourself. Don't get ill."

"I won't try to."

"Good."

"But I'm not making a promise."

Shadow sniffed, and exhaled a low growl, staring at the nature documentary before them.

"It's gonna be fine, Shadow."

It hummed back.

"I'm not weak, and I'm not planning on hitting my deathbed anytime soon. I've got to spend at least a few more years getting mad at you before I have to say something inspirational and check out."

She chuckled to herself, but Shadow shook its head hard.

"You can't live being scared of people getting sick, Shadow. You don't even remember most of the virus."

"not scared. Cautious. And not remembering is what's unnerving. Yet,"

Shadow stopped himself, watching a killer whale pack corner a baby seal in awe.

"Yet?"

"... yet I'm glad I wasn't in your shoes."

Rouge sniffed.

"You would have coped."

"Naturally."

The baby seal was thrown between the Orcas.

"But I guess it's fair. I mean, you'll do your turn of... holding down the fort."

"Supposedly. I don't know what I believe anymore. Perhaps Omega will have to live on without us."

"Omega alone? Harrowing. What say you, big guy?" Rouge snickered, kicking the back of his head.

Omega jerked awake, eyes whirring before he pointed at the screen, where the baby seal's body was being tossed around by the orcas.

"Excellent. The sports channel has been found." He remarked, standing up to stare at the screen, tapping his feet with glee.

"He'll be fine." She nodded.

@teamdarkweek

#tdw 2024: day 4 #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e-123 Omega #team dark #teamdarkweek #team dark week #tdw #prose #text post #wonderincs #writincs

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