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eatyourchancletas · 3 years

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SUMMARY | y/n l/n; the trauma surgeon who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and is taken hostage by the terrifying mafia known as ateez. despite their situations, love arises between the doctor and san; but when an enemy comes in between the group, breaking trust and belief between the members, what will san choose to save; his newfound love or his brothers?

PAIRING | choi san x male reader

INFO/CATEGORY | mafia au, fluff, light angst

WARNINGS | violence, weapon usage/mention, foul language, lower case writing

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AUTHOR’S NOTE | woops, finally have chapter 3 here! alex wasn’t able to finish it so i (monnie) did, but alex edited it so it was a smooth process. please like and reblog!! feedback is greatly appreciated!! please excuse any mistakes!

WORD COUNT | 4.7k

TAG LIST :; @jonghoshoe if you’d like to be added to the list please say so in our inbox/ask box!

hongjoong had gathered everyone around, gaze settled upon his members. “this mission is very important. we’ve managed to get a good deal. he says if he manages to make a good first impression with us, he’ll be willing to work with us at a smaller price.”

everyone nodded along, understanding what he was trying to say: don’t mess this up.

the leader continued as everyone seemed to catch the drift, “but we’re going to be very careful with this. we don’t put ourselves out there, so i don’t know how he knows our reputation enough to want to further business before we’ve even started.”

seonghwa perked up, arms tightening around himself, “that means old business is talking.” hongjoong nodded, letting him know they were both on the same page.

after a moment of silence, hongjoong sucked his teeth and looked up at y/n, eyes holding an emotion the older couldn’t read. the two held eye contact for barely 3 seconds before hongjoong spoke in yeosang’s direction. “i want you to stay here with y/n,” at those words, the younger gave a look that explained his feelings very well, y/n thought.

yeosang thought this was bullshit, but he couldn’t speak out on it because he trusted hongjoong knew well enough. “don’t take it personal, i don’t trust y/n fully. we don’t know what can happen.”

yeosang could only nod, deciding against disobeying hongjoong’s orders.

“alright, everyone get ready. we leave in an hour, i wanna get there early. scope out the place.”

y/n felt ashamed and angry.

ever since the group left for the mission, almost an hour ago, yeosang has been rude and treating him like he was the cause of all his problems. he felt ashamed because yeosang’s bruteness made him feel, somewhat, small and embarrassed, like it was his fault they were in this situation.

“get out of my way,” yeosang had shoved y/n on the way to the kitchen. the older stared dumbfounded, patience wearing thin.

“a simple excuse me would’ve been nice.”

yeosang scoffed, opening the refrigerator. if there was one thing that bothered him, it was being on babysitting duty.

“yeah, well i’m not exactly in the mood to play around and be all goody-two-shoes. so you know what would be nice?” he directed a sharp glare to y/n, not giving him a chance to answer his rhetorical question, “if you would fuck off.”

y/n bit his tongue, sizing up the smaller. his thoughts blocked his irritation, taking in the fact that yeosang was a gang member. he’s pretty sure size wouldn’t inconvenience the younger when handling a physical situation, much less a verbal one.

the doctor went to walk away as yeosang placed a plate in the microwave, until he noticed red markings on the skin of yeosang’s wrist, his shirt sleeve sliding down as his arm lifted. “are you okay?”

“last i checked, i didn’t ask for some psychological evaluation. so for the love of god-”

“no- i meant your wrist… is your wrist okay?”

a barely noticeable blush covered yeosang’s ears, “i’m fine. it’s nothing.”

y/n’s head tilted, an unsure look on his face.“do… do you mind if i take a look at it?”

yeosang stilled, the low hum of the microwave filling in the silence. he hesitated, but decided against it, knowing yunho had told him he needed to get it looked at because there wasn’t much he could do.

his eyes drifted to y/n, his arm slowly gravitating in the direction of y/n, a silent approval. the doctor carefully walked forward, gently grabbing yeosang’s hand and pulling the sleeve slightly. a small gasp left his mouth, the sleeve barely pulled back but the wound already looked pretty bad. “do you have a first aid kit?”

the metal lid of the small trash can clinked as it swung back and forth, ointment-clotted swabs and bandage wrappers crinkling within the confinement. “thank you,” yeosang’s voice was small, his upset mood dissipating as time went on.

“it’s no problem,” y/n finished wrapping yeosang’s wrist, careful not to make it too tight, “that was a second degree burn though… how’d you get it?”

yeosang looked down, a blush settling on his cheeks. his head dropped and his feet swung under the medical cot he sat on. he mumbled something, biting his lip afterwards, and y/n’s eyebrows furrowed. “i’m sorry, what was that?” and yeosang mumbled once more, y/n still not hearing what he said. “huh?”

“i said i burned myself trying to help seognhwa hyung make your meals!”

y/n blinked, “oh.”

and for the next few moments, it was deadly silent, the ticking of the wall clock echoing. y/n couldn’t take the awkwardness any longer, clearing his throat, “well, next time you get hurt, please don’t be afraid to come to me. it’d give me something to do, i already feel pretty useless and lonely here, to be honest.”

yeosang looked up, his feet no longer swinging, and a confused look on his face. “you’re not useless. we wouldn’t have kept you alive if you were.”

at that moment y/n inhaled, not knowing how to respond to that. “uh, jeez, that uh… hm, that makes me feel better… i guess?” a moment passed before the two chuckled, a comedic break turning out to be a lot more comforting than they expected.

minutes passed, their conversation dying down into light replies and subtle smiles when yeosang asked a question that threw the doctor off. “do you know anyone by the name of heeseung?”

dozens of thoughts raced through y/n’s mind; why does he want to know? is heeseung okay? did he do something he wasn’t supposed to?

“. . . yes.” but y/n couldn’t ask any further because before he knew it, yeosang had nodded and gotten down from the cot, walking out of the infirmary area.

meanwhile, miles away the others had arrived at the meeting spot, every member cautiously looking out for anything strange. seonghwa began pulling in closer to the black van adjacent to theirs, letting hongjoong and wooyoung scout to make sure this was the man they were meeting with.

after confirmation that this was dongwoo, they holstered their weapons within the waistbands of their trousers and exited the van.

“have you got it?” hongjoong cut to the chase; he was quite a brute person when it came to work. and dongwoo and his people wanted to make a good first impression? he’d see how well he could handle him.

“yep, got a truckload of ak-47’s, m16’s, and a couple 9mm’s. all smuggled from america.”

hongjoong pursed his lips, an impressed nod making dongwoo’s ego subtly inflate. word on the street said no one had successfully managed to smuggle weapons, specifically guns, to ateez without the korean law getting too heavily involved. the trader always got caught, and ateez always made sure to utilize their connections and silence those who they couldn’t trust to keep their mouths shut.

hongjoong had to go to some expensive lengths just to get the glock 17’s they used now. the quality of the gun proved its worth though, they learned. however, it was rare that they resorted to guns—they didn’t rely on them unless they themselves were in danger or if someone needed to be silenced quickly.

“looks good to me,” hongjoong complimented, turning his head slightly toward wooyoung, “bring out their payment.”

wooyoung nodded briefly, bringing his hands from behind his back, a large herbal drink-branded bag being showcased. dongwoo raised a brow, peeking over and catching a glimpse of the rolls of cash that filled the bag to the brim.

“thank you for your service,” hongjoong beckoned wooyoung to hand the bag to dongwoo, before he went to step toward his shipment.

“wait, what?”

at dongwoo’s abruptness, san stepped forward, “what do you mean ‘what’? take the deal or leav—” his words died down and he cowered back when hongjoong’s sharp glare met his eyes, immediately silencing him.

the leader clasped his hands behind his back and made a sharp turn toward the man. “is there something wrong?” his head was tilted and a curious look was on his face, there shouldn’t have been anything wrong with this offer and if there was, there was only a problem on dongwoo’s side. call it being ignorant, but hongjoong didn’t say he never had a problem because he wanted to be cocky and egotistic. it was simply the truth.

out of every issue he and the others had encountered with a deal, none had gone wrong on their part. it was part of the reason their group was at the top—they were efficient business partners and leaders. something only went wrong when non-mutual expectations weren’t met.

“there’s no ‘we’re looking forward to doing future business with you’?”

a small smirk had taken over hongjoong’s lips, hidden by the hanging of his head. “mr. yoo, we further business with those of the same intentions as us. do you, perhaps, know what those intentions are?”

dongwoo stood dumbfounded; of everything he heard about ateez and their leader, he didn’t think to find out just what their goal was.

“it seems you don’t know, so i’ll tell you. we, ateez, have come this far from one thing and one thing only—loyalty. when i heard your proposition of your first impression leading to cheaper traders, something was a little off,” his eyes squinted and he bought his pointer finger and thumb to barely touch, “you know a little too much, don’t you think?”

dongwoo’s eyes widened slightly but he recovered, however, it was noticeable. “what are you talking about?”

“someone’s been talking, haven’t they? leaking information about us that they, most certainly, weren’t warranted to give, but you probably don’t know much—you’re not the loose tie that needs to be cut off,” he looked dongwoo dead in the eyes as his own narrowed, “i hope.”

his intimidating stare lasted for a few moments more before a light smile covered his face, eye lightening. “take your payment, we’ll be taking our things and leaving.”

hongjoong gave a nod of his head, him and the rest of ateez splitting up to hook the small weapon-filled-trailer to their own vehicle, dongwoo and his men pulling off once it was unattached.

“boss, i don’t feel so good about this right now. i think we should hurry and get out of here.” yunho spoke, a hand rubbing at the hairs that stood on the back of his neck. hongjoong didn’t question further, sharing the suspenseful feeling that creeped up his spine, giving a prompt nod.

after 5 minutes were spent attaching the trailer and making sure they were ready to go, seonghwa started the engine and waited for everyone to get in. just as san and mingi were about to get in the van, the screeching of tires sounded nearby.

“get down!” and bullets went flying.

“do you like raisin bran?”

y/n gave a slight nod, folding his hands in front of him. “sure!” yeosang held the box in the air, stopping mid-grab.

“aren’t you a doctor? raisin bran has a lot of sugar…”

y/n shrugged his shoulders, standing to get bowls for the both of them, “i’m a doctor, not a dentist. besides, i’m quite the sugar addict. with the injuries i see and multiple hour surgeries i perform, i need some type of a high—so sugar high it is!”

yeosang laughed, shaking his head and setting the cereal box on the counter before grabbing the milk from the fridge. “quick question doc,” yeosang began and y/n looked at him, setting the bowls and spoons down. “milk first or cereal?”

yeosang held a laugh in when y/n had a visibly offended look on his face, a hand pressing to his chest. “yeosang, please tell me you put cereal fi—”

“shit! y/n where the fuck are you?!” someone had frantically shouted from the front of the house, yeosang and y/n giving each other a worried look before tripping over their own feet to reach the living room.

“oh my—what happened?!”

“fuck,” hongjoong let out a belligerent roar, “get him to the infirmary!”

y/n panicked, grabbing onto the injured man and hoisting him up into his arms, rushing to the infirmary. he looked down at the paled man in his arms, huffing out a breath of air, “don’t worry san, i’ve got you!”

san lies on the medical cot, eyes still and closed and chest rising and falling in a calming pattern. y/n is sitting next to him, checking his vitals every few minutes and making sure his labs are okay. after verifying everything is stable, he sat the clipboard down, closing his own eyes and lying his head in his arms on the cot, dozing off.

it’d been about 3 hours since san was bought in like this. y/n could’ve laughed at how freaked out he was earlier—san’s injuries weren’t even the worst he’s ever seen or treated, but your emotions and professionalism change when the person lying on your operating table is someone you have a nice relationship with… and when said patient’s fellow gang members are breathing down your neck, reminding you that there’s no other option than survival for him...

“how is he?” hongjoong’s voice startled y/n out of his exhausted haze, the older jumping in his spot.

“he’s fine now. if you’d have been any later, he would have coded… and i can’t do much for coding outside a hospital.”

the leader nodded his head, his chest and shoulders dropping slightly as if he could finally breathe. y/n watched him, watched how hongjoong toed around the cot, staring san’s unconscious form down.

y/n fumbled with his fingers, running over his next words in his head before just blurting them. “is it hard?”

“what do you mean?”

he shrugged his shoulders, looking at the shorter, “being a leader… having to watch over everyone,” he held eye contact with the leader, trying to read his expression, “it must be suffocating when something happens to one of them.”

hongjoong’s tongue swiped over his teeth as he stared the taller down. the air around them was tense—hongjoong knew y/n meant good by his words, but he’s not the type of person to just get emotional with people, especially those who aren’t exactly close to him. the others may see y/n as someone more than a hostage, but to hongjoong, he was just that. a person they were taking advantage of—a person who was only cooperative because his life was on the line.

“we’re going to head back to the shooting scene and see if we can find anything that’ll lead us to dongwoo, son-of-a-bitch. wooyoung and yeosang will stay with you and san… so let them know if you or san needs anything.” y/n cleared his throat, giving a curt nod before standing up and walking toward the cabinets, desperate to escape the awkward and tense aura.

when he heard the door to the infirmary shut, signaling hongjoong had left, he let out a sigh before starting to occupy himself again. he opened a cabinet, grabbing a roll of gauze—it was time to change san’s dressings.

as he made his way back to the cot, he noticed san was now awake and it caused him to stop in his tracks. “when did you wake up?”

“unfortunately, when it got awkward,” san watched y/n’s face fall, a look of embarrassment overtaking his tired features. he held back a teasing smile, leaning back on his arms, although hissing in pain and sitting back up when the pressure sent a stabbing pain through his side and shoulder. he watched y/n walk toward him and lift his clean shirt to start snipping at the dirtied gauze anchored around his naked shoulder.

a few moments went by of y/n re-bandaging and wrapping san’s wounds before the injured boy’s head tilted to the side. he didn’t know if it was because he was high off pain meds or if it was because he’s been so deprived of seeing an unfamiliar face… but y/n looked really handsome and flattering. even thinking about feeling that way sent a drunk feeling to san’s head, his mind getting lost and going blank in the echoing cavity of his skull. it was no secret to himself that he was rather flexible when it came to his romantic relationships and feelings, but he was still foreign to it.

he decided to push it to the back of his mind, feeling rather rushed and irrational at the moment, “y/n hyung… are you feeling better now?”

the older turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised in confusion, “i should be asking that—you’re the one who got shot in the shoulder and stomach,” he pulled san’s shirt back down, careful not to put pressure on his shoulder. he turned around for a moment before turning back and wrapping san’s arm in a sling.

“thank you,” the younger softly spoke, before continuing, “i just noticed you’re more at ease with all of...this. it’s almost a complete 180 from when we first met.”

the doctor’s hands froze against his own lap, a sigh leaving his mouth and his eyes fluttering in a blink of realization, “i guess so.”

“they’re not here—”

hongjoong sighed through his nose, looking rather composed; and the others thought it wasn’t much of a deal until the leader kicked the seat in front of him, scaring seonghwa, who was in the driver’s seat. “call yeosang.”

“been here for a while, what’s up.” said male spoke through their communicator, sounding calm and unbothered.

“can you please stop doing th—can you find anything about dongwoo’s whereabouts?”

“give me a sec,” the boy registered, the clicking of a keyboard sounding into the communication device.

“alright so while yeosang’s doing what should have been done, please tell me why there wasn’t an extensive amount of research on this client?” hongjoong was pissed. not only did their transaction end in a one-sided gunfight, it ended up with one of their own having more than one bullet wound.

wooyoung swallowed, knowing damn well the question was aimed at him. “hyung, i did do research. i made sure to look up what links he has with other businesses and everything that i could think of. i’ve never failed at doing so-”

“then why did you fail this time?”

it got heavily quiet, seonghwa looking at his boyfriend through the rear-view mirror. no one uttered a breath and looked away from a fidgeting wooyoung.

“aight i’m back.”

hongjoong ignored seonghwa’s prompting gaze, “what did you find?”

“nothing. they’re good at covering their tracks and maybe that’s why wooyoung couldn't find much. usually, we resort to hacking, but i’ve never seen these sorts of codes before and if you want me to break the wall down it will take longer than what you’d want.”

the leader sighed once more, pinching the bridge of his nose while bouncing his right leg. “No it’s fine, we’ll just hope dongwoo and his crew don’t appear again.”

“but hyung, isn’t that a little reckless-”

“you shouldn’t be one to speak right now.” hongjoong turned to glare at wooyoung, the younger male pursing his lips and nodding. “everyone get in the car, we're going back.”

“...so i’m not going to try and hack this? aw.”

“what’s wrong?” san frowned as wooyoung sulked while sitting next to him on the cot.

“hyung’s mad with me…”

y/n had his back facing them, trying to arrange the mess that was on the counter where all the ointments and supplies were. yunho had came in earlier to apologize for not keeping it organized, his exact words being “i just clean up their wounds as best as i can, and i’m not really in here unless it’s an emergency.”

san lingered a glance at y/n as if the older would do the same. “is it because of dongwoo?”

the younger nodded with a pout, leaning on san’s side. “mhm, and he hasn’t talked to me since.”

“well you know joong-hyung, he’s…” san thought for a few seconds, and when he couldn't find the words, he bit the inside of his cheek. “ he’ll get over it, just give it time. or talk to seonghwa-hyung, he’ll know what to do, he always does.”

wooyoung whined, “i already did! and he said ‘i can’t do anything’ with that pained smile of his!”

san blinked, “what? you’re lying, hwa-hyung would never fail us-”

“no no, i was there. he talked to hongjoong-hyung before wooyoung came up to him...or at least tried. joong-hyung isn’t talking to anyone right now. that’s why hwa-hyung told you he can’t do anything.”

“yeo, i swear you’re the nosiest person ever. like, please, i’m not sure if that’s good or bad sometimes.” san grimaced after processing yeosang’s comment through the earpiece.

“as far as i know it’s done us more good than bad. plus, it’s my job to be nosy, remember? we all get paid for things, and i get paid for sticking my nose up yall’s business.”

“wait you do that 24/7?” wooyoung frowned.

“uh, no. sometimes i don’t even intend to do it, ya’ll loud as fuck so sometimes i don’t even need the communicators. and i only comment on things that mean something. and before you ask this did not mean anything, i just wanted to join in the conversation.”

san snorted, “then why didn’t you just walk in here?”

“cus i’m busy right now.”

“doing what?” wooyoung grabbed san’s hand and played with his friend’s fingers.

“doing what i was not authorized to do—hack that wall.”

“won’t you get in trouble?”

“maybe,” the sound of him smacking his lips sounded, “but at least i won’t be given the silent treatment.”

wooyoung sat up. “yah! yeosang i will come down there and kick you!” when he heard no response he jumped off the cot and walked out the room, “yeosang i warned you!”

while hearing his best friend yell down the hall, san laughed. his attention returned to y/n who had his head tilted and a confused look on his face. “what’s wrong, hyung?”

“how...were you two talking to yeosang?”

san hummed, smiling while tapping the clear earpiece in his ear. “we have them on unless we’re showering and sleeping or something. but when we’re on duty we have them on, speaking of that, i’ll tell jongho to get you one-”

y/n shook his hands in front of him as san was about to move, “you shouldn’t move too much, you might reopen a wound. i’ll call him…” y/n’s voice died down when he realized what he was volunteering to do.

at the sudden look of horror on y/n’s face, san laughed.

“don’t worry, jongho’s just a buff teddy bear unless in danger. but for now, i’ll call him over.” san raised his hand to his earpiece, making y/n question why he couldn’t do that before. “jongho, can you bring an earpiece for y/n?”

san nodded when the younger agreed, saying he’ll be there shortly. he lowered his hand and rested it on his lap. “have you gotten along with anyone here yet?” he tried to spark conversation with the doctor, highly interested in him and feeling the need to know more about him.

“aside from yeosang, seonghwa and you, uh, not really. maybe yunho? i mean, he’s never showed any sign of hatred towards me so i guess we get along decent too...but i haven’t really had a chance to meet the others.”

the younger nodded, “well we may look tough and all, but i promise we’re all chill. hongjoong-hyung is only tough and straightforward when he’s on the lookout. just give him some time and you’ll see how nice and caring he is.”

y/n hummed, “i guess..”

“i have arrived with the product~” jongho smiled while walking inside the room, a box in hand. “once you put it on it will send yeosang a message and he’ll grant access to it.”

san watched jongho gesture y/n to grab it, but he took it before the doctor did. “here, i’ll put it in for you.”

jongho did his best to not snort or laugh, leaning against the wall instead. he watched san help y/n with setting up the earpiece, amused at how san seemed interested in the doctor.

“ok done, yeosang should grant access soon.” san smiled at y/n, the doctor returning it with his own.

a few minutes of quiet tension passed and jongho felt the need to do something; he pressed the button on the side of his earpiece. “yeosang-hyung, are you not going to-”

“give me a second, i just kicked wooyoung out. if he goes up there with a black eye don’t question it, he’ll say what happened without you asking.”

“you didn’t actually give him a black eye did you-”

“if he did then that can easily be taken care of…” y/n commented while watching jongho roll his eyes.

“yeah i did-”

“no he didn’t.” wooyoung butted in, it sounded like he was munching on something. “it was the other way around-”

san chuckled, shaking his head at his friend's bickering. he realized y/n’s earpiece was successfully connected when he saw the older grin.

“i bet they both have a black eye.” y/n nodded to himself.

jongho rose a brow, a grin prominent on his features. “and how much are we betting?”

y/n hummed, “thirty bucks.”

“i wanna bet too~,” san grinned, “let’s check it out then. can i move now?”

“hmm...i’d say no but you probably wouldn’t really listen to me so... as long as you don’t make sharp movements.”

san cheered, extending his free arm to get help in getting off the cot. “let’s go then!”

“hello?”

“mrs. l/n! how are you? it’s heeseung...lim heeseung.”

the woman on the other end of the phone gasped in what sounded like happiness, “heeseung! It’s been a while since i last heard of you, is something wrong?”

the nurse leaned back into his couch, “well i called to ask if you've seen y/n…”

“i see...well we haven’t heard of him for quite some time now. we thought it was because of work you know? but you two are close aren’t you, i assumed you would know about his whereabouts”

heeseung sighs softly, “well we were close before we broke up...i called because he hasn’t appeared at work for almost two weeks now. everyone knows y/n is a workaholic so it’s rare for him to miss days. and i wanted to ask if i can go to the police and file a report.”

“have you checked his apartment? you do know where he lives right?”

“i do...”

“well if he isn’t there then yes, go to the police station. please let us know if you find anything!”

“of course, thank you.” heeseung smiled painfully to himself, bidding farewell to y/n’s mother before hanging up. soon after he turned off his phone and sighed, he really hopes y/n is at his apartment and only took a vacation.

y/n couldn’t help but bust out laughing when the three of them walked inside the kitchen. wooyoung did indeed have a black eye and so did yeosang.

"darn it." jongho huffed as y/n ended up winning the bet.

seonghwa stood there confused, spatula in hand as he's setting out their plates for dinner. "and what's this about?"

san grinned, "we made a bet to see if yeosang and wooyoung gave each other a black eye or not. and luckily y/n ended up winning."

"would that be called a doctors intuition?" yeosang rose a brow while glaring at the plates seonghwa handed him.

"good question." y/n chuckled while walking up to the second oldest. "need help?"

"oh, yeah, thanks." seonghwa smiled while gesturing to the drinks. "set them on the table, everyone will serve their own drinks."

"got it. oh, and after dinner, i'll need you two to come with me so we can take care of those shiners."

“yeah yeah...”

#kpop x male reader #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop fics #ateez fics #ateez x reader #ateez x male reader #top male reader #sub idol #bottom idol #choi san x male reader #choi san #male atiny #kpop scenarios #t.k chapter #tinted kisses

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13uswntimagines · 4 years

Text

Ice Cream and a Baby (Pregnant!Emily x Reader)

Request: pregnant sonnett and goes into labor prematurely while reader is at camp and reader rushes to be with sonnett

Author’s Note: So I have to thank @literaryhedgehog for helping me out with this one! I hope you enjoy! Hit me up with comments, requests or if you just wanna say HI!

You groaned settling onto the wooden bench. You were freaking exhausted. Between your wife Emily’s 2 am pregnancy cravings and Vlatko’s new workout routine, you were 99% sure that the universe was trying to kill you. You just hoped that in a month when your little tater tot was born, things would settle down a little bit.

Lindsey settled on the bench next to you, giving your shoulder a comforting pat, and trying not to laugh at your obvious exhaustion. While you were usually pretty good at corralling her best friend, the past 8 months of negotiating with Emily’s hormones was wearing down your resolve to say no.

You groaned as your phone began to ring in your bag and you slumped down, digging through the messy duffle in an attempt to find the offending device. If this was another stupid craving call, you didn’t know what you would do.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” You answered the device when you found it, biting your lip.

“It’s an emergency.” Your wife’s voice sounded panicked through the phone, and you kept to your feet despite your legs feeling like Jello.

“What’s happening, are you hurt? Do I need the baby bag?” You asked frantically, searching for your regular shoes in the bag.

“No, it’s worse. We’re out of ice cream but I can’t go to the store. Can you grab some for me?” She asked, her voice muffled slightly by what you assumed was a spoon in her mouth. You froze, your eyebrows furrowing as you settled back into the bench, rubbing your eyes.

“Em, I can’t miss another practice. Mark will kill me.” You tried to reason. Ever since Emily had to stop practicing with the thorns, it seemed that every time you were at practice, she needed something. Mark had even threatened to bench you for your repeated attendance infractions. He understood that your wife needed you, but some of the reasons you left were kind of ridiculous. Emily was pregnant, not helpless.

“Mark will understand that your pregnant wife needs you right now!” She growled through the phone.

“Why can’t you pick it up yourself babe? We live like two blocks from the supermarket that has the Ben and Jerry’s you like,” you sighed, resting your forehead in your hand. Lindsey patted your back sympathetically, smirking at your predicament. You sent her a glare. There was nothing funny about this. It was a lose-lose situation for you. If you left, Mark would be pissed, and if you didn’t then Emily would be pissed. When did your career and the love of your life become mutually exclusive?

“My stomach hurts and I need you to get up off your ass and get me my ice cream,” She growled through the phone, and you could practically see her stomping her foot in your mind's eye.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head slightly. God, you loved this very silly woman. “You know, maybe the three pints of ice cream that were in the fridge yesterday have something do with your stomach pain.” You snarked back.

“That’s just mean and I’m pretty sure that the stomach pain is more to do with the contractions. But I need ice cream now!” She whined and your eyes widened, the phone nearly slipping through your fingers in shock.

“CONTRACTIONS?” You yelled, clutching the phone tighter, as Lindsey straightened beside you, elbowing Tobin. The entire locker room went silent.

“Yes, that’s what I just said. Fuck fuck son of a … alright, it’s gone. Now the ice cream, I don’t want any of that low sugar crap you tried to sneak in last time. Here. I want the-'' She winced over the phone. Lindsey rubbed your back as your face contorted in pain, and you attempted to get your breathing under control. You had to be calm, or else you wouldn’t be able to get any information out of Emily, and then she would freak out and that would be bad.

“Em baby, back up. Did you time the contraction,” you said softly, rubbing your eyes with your hand and resting your forehead in your palm.

“Not actively, but they’re about 7 minutes apart, why?” She mumbled worriedly into the phone. And you took a deep breath. 7 minutes apart wasn’t too bad, it meant you still had time to get to her and then to the hospital. You hurriedly began to put your shoes on, pinning the phone to your ear with your shoulder.

“How many seconds did it last?” You asked quietly into the phone, gesturing for Lindsey to throw your cleats into your bag.

“This isn’t important, what’s important is that you get me the right flavor of my Ben and Jerry’s,” Emily huffed, annoyed that you kept trying to change the subject. It was too early for the baby to come, so what mattered was that you got her the ice cream she wanted. Hadn’t you ever heard the saying happy wife happy life?

“Just… humor me, please?” You pleaded into the phone, pulling on your Thorns Jacket. You needed to know just how many speed laws you had to break to get to your wife in time. You just hoped it was less than 20 seconds.

“You know I love it when you beg,” She moaned into the phone, her voice dropping an octave, and you rolled your eyes. This was not the time for sexy things (Emily had been insatiable for nearly her entire pregnancy).

“Not the time Em,” you grumbled.

She sobered after your serious tone. If this was important to you, then it was important to her. “Do you want me to put you on speaker so you can time the next one?” She asked you softly.

“Yes, is it coming already?” You murmured back, putting your phone on speaker so you could time it.

“Yes,” She said through gritted teeth and you started the time. You encouraged her as much as you could, standing frozen in the middle of the locker room, watching the seconds tick by. You heard her breath a sigh of relief at 40 seconds, and you knew it was over.

Your eyes were wide as you stared at the phone, stuck in a trance.

“Holy shit,” You said breathlessly, you were about to be a mother. Tobin snapped a finger in front of your face, pulling you out of your daze, and handing you your car keys. Now was not the time for an existential crisis.

“When did you notice you were having contractions?” You questioned as you waved at the girls (who gave you various thumbs-ups) as you rushed out of the locker room.

“A couple of hours ago, but I thought it was Braxton Hicks or whatever. The baby’s still not due for another six weeks,” She shrugged, a worried edge taking over her tone. You raced to the car, settling in and thanking god that you had Bluetooth so you didn’t have to hang up.

She heard the door close and the car start in the background, and your heavy breathing.

“Has anything else happened,” You urged, revving the engine.

“Well…” She said hesitantly, and you felt yourself pressing the pedal down harder, to get to her faster.

“Emily,” You scolded sternly, almost like you were talking to a child. You could practically see her biting her lip.

“I’m pretty sure my water just broke,” She hummed guiltily, and had you not been driving, you’re fairly certain that you would have headbutted the steaming wheel.

“Pretty sure?” You quirked your eyebrow up. Who could one not know if their water broke? God, you need to get to her before your little superstar decided she didn’t want to wait anymore.

“You know this kid has been playing soccer on my bladder for the last 3 months,” Emily rolled her eyes at you. You were the panicky one during the pregnancy, which was ridiculous considering she was the one growing the tiny human. The tiny human who couldn’t seem to sit still.

“I know babe, I’m almost there,” Your voice was suddenly calm as you shoved your feelings down -- you needed to be the level headed one, because you were sure that panic would only make the labor go faster, and you didn’t want that.

“Make sure you bring the ice cream,” Emily demanded something that sounded like a spoon clinking in the background.

“Emily Anne Sonnett-y/n, you’re in active labor, I’m not stopping to get you ice cream,” You growled sternly. You were racing to not miss welcoming your daughter into the world, the last thing that the three of you needed was for you to miss her birth because You had to stop for an unnecessary frozen treat.

“Y/n” She hissed sternly and you winced at the tone. But you had to remain firm. You were about to become a mother and there were too many things that could go wrong if you waited to get to her for too long.

“If you have to have a C-section you’re not supposed to eat,” You tried to reason, stepping in the gas and trying to your very crazy wife faster.

“If you want to be alive for the birth of your child, you will show up with 3 pints of the good ice cream,” She retorted, and you sighed as you turned into the store parking lot down the road from your house. This woman was going to be the death of you.

****

You stood in the hospital room with a little pink bundle cuddled up in your arms. A little pink bundle that was only an hour old, and holding onto your finger like her little life depended on it.

Your eyes traced her perfect nose and rosy cheeks that reminded you so much of Emily.

Camren Elizabeth Sonnett-y/n had come into the world screaming merely two hours after Emily had called you with her ice cream emergency. And she had immediately stolen your heart just like her mommy had.

“You’re so beautiful, yes you are. Your Mommy did such a good job,” You whispered, placing a very careful kiss on your daughter's forehead, taking in her baby scent.

“She gets all her good looks from you,” Emily said through a mouthful of Ben and Jerry’s brownie batter core ice cream.

You sent her an indulgent smile, winking at her. “Hmm, that’s debatable,” you mumbled, returning your attention to your daughter who had let out a little squeak when she realized you weren’t paying attention to her. You cooed down at her, your eyes shining with the amount of love you had for this tiny being.

“See this moment would have sucked without ice cream,” Emily laughed and you sent her a withering look. Her stupid ice cream had made you break about a dozen traffic laws and almost made you have to deliver your baby in the back seat of your car.

“Whatever you say, babe,” You rolled your eyes good-naturedly at your wife, brushing your fingers across your daughter’s puffy cheeks.

“Hey ladies, I believe there are some very excited aunts out here,” The doctor interrupted, knocking on the door. You were fairly surprised that the doctors and nursing staff had kept them at bay for as long as they did. You sent a concerned look to your wife. She was the one who had just pushed a tiny human out of her body, so she was the one who got to decide if you were accepting visitors. She nodded in your direction, and you in turn nodded to the doctor.

“Send in the crazies,”

#uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagines #emily sonnett x reader #emily sonnett imagine #literalhedgehog

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rpbetter · 3 years

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"writes dubcon therefore is a freak who should be bullied off the site" ho boy i'm fed up with people acting as if consenting adults writing [insert "problematic" fictional thing here] is the worst thing in the world. seen way too many people justifying harrassment of REAL PEOPLE by "they write thing that triggers me". ok, and? mute the tags or don't follow! "it triggers someone" is not a valid reason to ban a topic. piano music triggers me yet i don't go around demanding everyone stop playing the piano.

Anon, not only is everything you said absolutely valid, but also, thank you for demonstrating that triggers are incredibly varied and as such, we cannot predict everyone's triggers. Making the entire "point" of banning for possible triggers invalidated as hell.

We should be aware of things like the most commonly occurring phobias (things like arachnophobia and coulrophobia that are, additionally, easily triggered by imagery) and tag them. We should be aware of very obvious triggers, that are, again, easily set off by imagery, like blood, eye trauma, and depictions of domestic violence. And we should always read and be aware of our writing partners' stated triggers so that we can tag them appropriately or even decide that it isn't going to work because our muse, canon story, or interests are going to present an unfair situation in this partnership.

But triggers can be highly unusual, as well as activated differently (even at different times) for everyone. I'm not triggered by seeing hotel rooms in pictures or movies, I'm not triggered by writing scenes that take place in them, but I'm triggered to some degree by being in one. It's outrageous oversimplification to act like all triggers are the same, they all display the same way, they're all going to trigger someone on the same basis, everyone's going to react the same to their triggers. There is absolutely no way to prevent 100% of possible triggers for 100% of the population, 100% of the time.

Add to this that way too many people trivialize triggers by throwing around that term to justify the banning of something that makes them uncomfortable or that they take a personal, moral issue with. "I don't like this" and "I'm grossed out by this" and "this makes me feel uncomfortable" is not being triggered. It's just a good way to weaponize the better nature of other people so that they comply.

Most people legitimately do not want to trigger someone, especially if they have triggers and know what it's like. Just like no one wants to be accused of cruelty towards trauma survivors in general, or be designated a pedo, rape apologist, or fascist. They're all things to weaponize in order to isolate, shame, and control. And that's really fucking gross. These are serious, real things that have no business being trivialized to police content, win internet arguments, or garner popularity.

The potential for someone to be triggered isn't a reason to ban anything; we have tags, we have blacklist.

While I'll be the first to say that tumblr's blacklisting can be as shitty as everything else on the site, the primary issue with running into content you don't want to see comes down to two factors: no one tagging/tagging correctly and actively exposing yourself to that content. Going through people's properly done tags and blog warnings about their content in order to "call it out" is actively exposing yourself by choice. You actual walnuts.

Calling people on on their "problematic" content is bringing those topics to the attention of other people. That's the whole point of this gross behavior: look at the freak pedo abuse apologist I found, they write dubcon!! Don't look if you'll be triggered uwu

Buddy, pal, my guy...you just put that on blast for anyone to run across. Maybe their blacklist catches those words in your callout post, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they think you're a safe space because you promote yourself that way, so they click it anyway. Point is, you just willfully and irresponsibly exposed people because it's more important to you to demonize a rando on tumblr RPing something you take issue with. Good job!

Furthermore, dubcon itself is such a hilarious issue to take. Do they realize that isn't always sexual, or? Not? I'm thinking not. Funnily enough, one of the oldest posts I've been working on for this blog is about exactly this topic, the myriad situations that are dubious consent. That doesn't have to be sexual, and neither does it have to be intentionally predatory. You can come up with some amazing character development with a lot of muses in the RPC with dubcon because almost everyone's muse has some manner of trauma that might negate their perception of their own consent...and what do you do then? Is it removing more agency from that muse to shut them down, or is that always the better option? Can you separate your opinion as the mun from your muse's natural reactions? How does this impact the muses involved not just that moment but the next year?

Point is, dubcon isn't always some rapey situation. Even if it was, even if someone is writing it that way, it's literally not your business or your problem.

There's one mutual-in-law on my RP blog that really bothers me. They write things that I find fetishizing, incredibly rapey, all around shit that bothers me. I don't want to see it, some of the things they write makes my damn skin crawl. This person doesn't know it, we certainly don't speak and I don't think they like me very much, but I've repeatedly defended their right, specifically their right as a person with some long-term callouts on them, to write what they want to. I have them blocked and their urls blacklisted so I never have to see my mutual reblogging their threads. It's not a problem because I don't click "show anyway." Why would I, if it genuinely bothers me so much?

That's how you handle things that bother you; you use the tools available to not interact even by accident. Not by launching a morality crusade.

If any of us want to write what we enjoy, we have to allow others that same freedom. It's always a matter of time before this policing grows to include more and more topics, it's been used multiple times to get well-meaning people who don't fall into the general demographics to police queer, BIPOC, and other marginalized groups off of platforms. We've been fortunate in most of the RPC that it implodes on itself before it gets all the way there, but even so, you can see it.

It starts with things that produce a visceral reaction in the great majority of people, positions this with a repeatedly condemned idea presented as solid fact that fiction is reality, and you've got the start of something awful. Today it's something you don't like, maybe even something that triggers you, so you either support it or you quietly allow it to happen. Who needs to write that "freak shit" anyway, can't they just be gross privately? Six months from now, it's something "problematic" that you enjoy like violence that's canon-typical for your muse, or your OTP because they're gay and that's fetishizing, they're cis male and female but one or both is bi and that's bad representation, or they canonically have a rocky relationship so that's romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

If you can't care for any other reason, you really should care about how it is going to impact you sooner or later. In an environment like this, you can stay in your space, put warnings on your blog, and tag properly and you're still going to get a callout if the wrong person finds your blog. Just takes a single person with more time, energy, and skewed ideas of justice than they have reading comprehension or common sense.

Again, I cannot encourage people enough to give warnings, but it's difficult to ignore why those warnings are slipping; they're a way to be found, designated as a Problem, and called out. Look, it's another reason why callouts actually make things worse, not better! People put that shit in their rules so you can avoid content, they're being responsible and interested in promoting a safe RPC. Let them do it, damn.

You can't tag everything, and if you've never experienced what a giant series of repetitive tags is like on a screenreader you probably should before you tag seven paragraphs of possible issues. You can tag for visuals, you can tag for the obvious things, and you can tag for what's in the rules you agreed to when you followed/followed back. But you should also warn people that you write "dark topics" on the tin, and expand on that in your rules for specific things like graphic violence, toxic relationships, dubon, and addiction.

That's how responsible adults, not over-aged children, make better decisions about their mental health and general comfort. Not by appointing themselves the watchdogs of the damn RPC, here to protect you whether you want to be or not, find that incredibly insulting or not when you're in one of their categories of people who must be protected, by forcibly banning Problematic Everything. Problematic, of course, being entirely in the eye of the content police.

It's fiction. No one and nothing real was harmed. It's great that you are so invested in the fictional world and people that make you happy, but take a fucking big step back into reality. The real people you're harming with your bullshit had every right to peaceably exist. If what they're writing is triggering to you, stay. away. from. it.

Without any coincidence whatsoever, that's how you get from the base-point of Problematic Material to Problematic Mun. Yeah, it's just fiction, it's just RP, but I also took something out of context OOC or was upset by their tone on their own blog or couldn't exercise the minimal adult logic to remove myself from their presence OOC as well. So, now, you've got OOC behavior being added to the callout, if it wasn't already. Everyone is now ableist, transphobic, racist, and a misogynist because it lends that visceral reaction to the callout and ups the game from just being "y'all so gross you aged up a cartoon character to ship" to "this is REAL and it won't be tolerated! OP is actually a pedophile, they told a sexual joke in a discord server with a minor present and I have the receipts!"

What are the most storied callouts in the entire RPC? I'm absolutely certain the same names came to mind no matter what fandoms you're in, and one of them was "Matt." Another was probably "Ares/Snow". They're all successful and keep being brought up out of the closet anytime people are bored enough because their primary punch is the mun themselves being a predatory threat to the community. The mun is verified to be a bad person. Well, of course, that's got to be repeated, it worked. (Even if it did not, at all, work and only made it harder for people to avoid any of these muns.)

Are there people in the RPC who are legitimately a problem? Absolutely, yes. We're all supposed to be adults, however. Part of being an adult is having and acting upon one's agency. If someone is coercing you into things you are not comfortable with, shut it down. If you have difficulties being certain of those situations, run it by a trusted, honest friend or available, impartial source in the RPC for a second opinion. If you can't handle any manner of confrontation, there really are situations in which it's perfectly alright to block someone without any discussion. It's just the internet, you're in control of your space. Own it.

Minors are a whole other can of fucked up worms I'm not even getting into right now except to say that because a minor exists in a space they were told to stay out of does not mean we ban all topics inappropriate for their consumption.

tl;dr: banning shit doesn't work anyway, the whole idea is predicated upon some incredibly problematic takes IRL, and no, there's no justification for it outside of intense personal problems with one's own importance. That energy would be infinitely better spent volunteering one's time to help real people in crisis or after surviving one, or even oneself in developing some healthier approaches and thought patterns.

#hey what if we all start saying we're triggered by callout culture is that bannable then lmao #vespertine #drama cw #bsnf #callout culture #tumblr rpc #rp problems #also thank you again anon I hope you're having a great day!

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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I’m writing this scene between Lilith and Bruce right now, and I just cut a whole segue their conversation took because it derailed it too far from where I meant to take it and was more of a meta thought anyway.

So I’m just gonna verbalize it here so as not to waste that thought. You’re welcome!

But purely on a pet peeve note (and this seriously isn’t a response to something I read lately, I feel like people always think that’s what prompts everything I say but honestly, sometimes shit just pops into my head and this is one such instance lol) - anyway like, lemme just express real quick how much I LOATHE the term ‘mindrape.’

Like. Please stop forever with that, sci-fi and fantasy themed media and entertainment. That’s not a thing. Stop trying to make it a thing.

To be perfectly clear, like, the idea of a telepath or someone via some technology or magic being able to go into your head and view or pluck out your most private, carefully guarded thoughts? Abso-fucking-lutely something that can and should be viewed as a violation, in universe.

Its just....not rape. Its literally not.

I honestly do think that the rise of this particular term was because people thought about it and just HOW intimate and personal one’s thoughts can be, especially someone who is used to being closed-off and emotionally guarded, and when trying to come up with a way to describe this that captured the INTENSITY of the violation people were picturing when they imagined this.....that’s how people ended up linking it to rape as a way of conveying just how awful a violation it was?

But like.....rape is a very specific act, is the thing. It has specific context, it has specific catalysts, framing, fallout. Rape has its own name rather than just being described as a violating assault or an act of violation, because rape is a SPECIFIC act that carries its own connotations in our society. And those connotations aren’t something that entertainment should feel comfortable borrowing just to use as like, a benchmark for how awful a completely fictitious concept might be.

Because that dilutes the very purpose of giving rape its own name in the first place. The more its likened to an abstract sense of violation that feasibly encompasses pretty much anything that falls under the umbrella of personal violation.....the less it stands out as notably different from other forms of violation and calls to mind the things that MAKE it different, and thus warrant it being treated differently or approached in a specific way.

And here’s the thing about WHY rape has its own terminology:

First....there’s the fact that whether we like it or not, the simple reality is our society is obsessed with sex. We live in a very heavily sexualized world, where its often difficult to completely separate ANYTHING from sexual connotations. Its easier to make just about anything ABOUT sex than it is to make anything that’s remotely sex-adjacent about something OTHER than sex.

Now combine that with the fact that while rape is about power, and taking it from a victim or exerting it over a victim.....rape is INTRINSICALLY connected to sex. True, rape is not sex, its an act of aggression, not a sexual act. There is no way to engage in rape without simultaneously engaging in violence. There is no way for someone to consent to what is inherently by definition a stripping away of consent.

Rape is not sex. But sex is the VEHICLE by which a rapist takes or exerts power SPECIFICALLY. While at the exact same time, a HUGE part of why survivors struggle so much with getting the support they need in recovery.....is because due to how SEXUALIZED rape is in our society, in our media and just our very conversations of it, most rape survivors face the stumbling block of their assault and violation being viewed as more about sex than it was power.

Essentially, even though on the surface even most people ‘know’ that rape isn’t sex and rape is about power.....lots of people fall into the trap of looking at rape and thinking of it as sex gone wrong, or sex someone regrets, or tons of other thoughts that have more to do with sex than rape. Because from a pretty early age, anyone who doesn’t ALREADY have their own view and awareness of rape....has their view of rape then informed pretty much just by how its depicted and presented in media and entertainment. Where its of course heavily filtered through a very sexual lens.

So even while consciously KNOWING that rape isn’t an act of sex but one strictly of violence, entitlement and power....lots of people still have to contend with and push back against a foundation of it being more closely associated with sex in their minds, as the easily visualized IMAGE of what rape LOOKS like on the surface.....than other things it has more in common with once you look at anything OTHER than the visual of it, such as focusing on the motivating factors for rape and WHY rapists do what they do.

Theft, coercion, other crimes and concepts that more accurately reflect a rapist’s desire to TAKE what they were told was not theirs to take or to just degrade or humiliate someone in the most intimate way possible, or to turn a person’s very body into a weapon against them or to injure someone in a way that is meant to be more lasting or permanent in its effect on a person than just inflicting a physical wound.....any and all of these things have far more to do with why rapists rape than a simple desire for sex.

Rapists don’t rape because its the only way for them to have sex, even. Because even when rape is very much attraction based....its STILL not about just wanting to have sex with the person of their focus....its about wanting to have sex with them even despite being told no, or without giving them even the chance to say no. Even when a rapist ONLY targets a person because of their specific physical attraction to that person and their desires/fantasy to have sex with that specific person and not someone else.....the crime itself is still ABOUT stripping that person of their personhood in order to simply act upon them as the OBJECT of their focus/attraction...rather than any kind of a partner in a mutually beneficial or engaged-in act.

But despite all of that.....ask any non-survivor what springs to mind first when they hear the word ‘rape’....and chances are the resulting thoughts are more instinctively geared towards sex than power.

All of this is directly linked to our tendency as a society to view and treat and even talk about rape in terms of it most commonly being sex that got out of control. Despite the fact that no act of rape was EVER going to be an act of sexual partnership......because the very thing that turns something FROM sex INTO rape....is the MOMENT a rapist determines or feels that sex with a person is off the table or simply not what they’re interested in.....because they either don’t have or don’t WANT their victim’s partnership in what happens. They simply want to take. To steal. To use. To abuse.

Without exception.

Honestly, this got a lot more indepth than I was intending to go when I was just riffing off of a thought that popped into my mind about how I just really don’t like the term mindrape.....but a big part of the problem I have with the term is how indepth you basically HAVE to go in order to fully convey just why the term is so.....not a valid comparison to make to rape, with anyone who doesn’t already have an instinctive or reactive understanding of rape that’s more based on what rape TAKES than with how its usually depicted or talked about, where its in terms of what rape LOOKS like.

Because alllll of the above connotations and how important and central they are to any actual examination or discussion of rape....they simply do not carry over into a concept like someone reading your mind without permission.

Again, its not that such a thing wouldn’t be extremely violating IMO. It absolutely would be.

My point is simply that rape is always a violation, but violations are not always rape. SEXUAL violations are rape. But there’s a ton of ways a person or even something like a law or concept or even a freaking BUSINESS contract can be violated. And these aren’t interchangeable.

Are a person’s most intimate thoughts something incredibly personal, something no one should be allowed to take without permission? Sure. Absolutely. But imagine how else such a scenario could take place even in our real world, without needing a concept such as telepathy to make it feasible. Think about anything from someone reading a person’s carefully guarded or hidden diary or journal where they record thoughts they NEVER expect or want someone else to be privy to. Think about someone being tortured to give up information they’d be willing to give up their life to keep secret. Think about a burglar breaking into someone’s home when they’re not there and going through all their most personal belongings, leaving evidence that some stranger has been there and seen and touched all of that and you now don’t feel like you have the ability to keep anything safe and hidden from others, even in the safety and security of your own home.

Are all of these things different kinds of violation, most of which carry a great degree of intensity and personal betrayal or harm?

Absolutely.

But are any of them interchangeable with RAPE?

Or are they a bit easier to separate from from that concept once laid out to this degree, to see as completely separate and distinct things that may have some overlap but not necessarily even in the same ways or places they’re usually viewed as overlapping with rape as a concept?

Since I began this as a fandom related concept, lemme bring that back for a final thought.

Instead of likening other things TO rape, imagine if we did the same thing in reverse, and likened rape TO other things instead.

In terms of even just Batcharacters.....think about how often its been raised as an actual STORY point, that many Bat characters have shown a willingness or even tendency to cross all kinds of ethical boundaries and illegally surveil someone or intrude upon boundaries in the name of ‘the greater good’ or because they feel the ends justify the means.

Now imagine if all of those instances, no matter how large or small a violation....from a simple breaking and entering job to get inside a Rogue’s secret hideout in order to steal the location of their next crime....to putting bugs and cameras into someone’s home without their knowledge or permission and even just being able to spy on them naked or when revealing extremely personal information while thinking there’s no one else around to hear it, regardless of whether or not that’s what the character intends those to be used for or never actually uses them in that way.....

Imagine if all of THOSE violations were considered, viewed and talked about as not just breaches of privacy but as RAPE, specifically....with any relevant Bat-characters thus by extension specifically being rapists for having engaged in such violations.

And then, let’s flip the script back AGAIN, and now look at those instances where characters intrude, surveil, cross boundaries or invade privacies in the name of trying to save people or prevent tragedies or in the name of that always handy alleged ‘greater good.’

Try using that ‘in the name of [...]’ clause in regards to when and why a rapist rapes, and see how......not good that is. Has any of the above EVER been an ACTUAL justification for why someone rapes someone else? COULD it ever be? I know there’s the fuck or die trope and there’s more than a few variations of it in which one hero is forced to essentially rape another one or someone innocent or else the villain will kill them both, or kill the other person, or something like that....but even then, the actual RAPE is still on the villain or person exerting coercion, so no, not even then is rape being done in the name of saving/protecting someone or some supposed greater good. Its still the villain that’s doing the actual violating, that’s making the CHOICE to set up this scenario and limit the hero’s options to either ‘participating’ or signing someone’s death warrant....and just like sex is the vehicle by which rape occurs, the ‘raping’ hero is in this kind of scenario STILL just being used as a proxy by the actual person with the actual intent and desire to violate and assault the other person, and in being used in such a way, and in an inherently sexualized way themself.....it simply makes the ‘raping’ hero still not an actual rapist, but an additional rape victim of the ultimate villain as well.

See how complicated and messy this all gets, and how quickly?

And especially given that it doesn’t ever NEED to get there, in either direction, since there’s plenty of ways to describe varying types and degrees of violation with specificity, without resorting to ‘rounding up’ to refer to them as rape as a shorthand for expressing it was a particularly intimate or sensitive violation - and without losing sight of the fact that violations that result even in the THEFT of sensitive, personal information or secrets.....still only result in things like pieces of INFORMATION being what’s stolen, rather than someone’s entire bodily autonomy and personal agency.

Anyway, in conclusion the point is really just that we come up with the terms we do for specific reasons, and while language and contexts do evolve, grow, and even wholly change over time for a variety of reasons, it is important to take note of when that happens so we can determine if that change SHOULD be happening or if key contexts or connotations are being left out or overlooked in the process or wake of language changing.

And while I kept my point here limited to the example of rape and ‘mind rape,’ it applies to a ton of other stuff and topics as well. This just happened to be the one on my mind at the moment, but this kind of awareness can and should definitely be applied to a lot of other discussions involving sensitive or emotionally charged topics as well.

We come up with specific words and terms with INTENT. The creation of a specific term or phrase almost always involves having seen a NEED for such specificity in the first place, in order to denote key differences between something and other things it might be similar to but not fully described or encompassed by previously existing words or phrases.

Before treating concepts as interchangeable, we should always take care to make sure that they are, in fact, actually interchangeable.

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fidelisphasma · 2 years

Text

Layin’ Down the Law

MOST IMPORTANT

This is an independent, OC-friendly, multi-ship, multi-verse blog. Don’t know what any of that means? It’s okay to ask me. :)

I am OLD. No, really. Probably ancient by tumblr standards. If you’re not comfortable writing with someone 35+ then you should walk away now.

I am SLOW. Like… REALLY SLOW. I usually manage to reply once every 3-5 months. Sometimes it’s less, but not often.

I rarely seek out interactions for myself. (It’s a long story, please don’t ask.) If you found this blog on your own, then please be aware that you’ll have to approach me if you want to get something started.

If I’ve followed you, I’ve read your rules. In fact, if I’ve got any intention of writing with you, I’ve probably read them more than once. I’m actually not comfortable following anyone without doing that first. However, I DON’T send in passwords. Or ‘like’ posts or anything of that nature. No exceptions. I’m sorry. If your rules require a password and you follow me first I’ll assume you’ve read this rule and decided to make an exception for me. I DO NOT follow blogs that ask for passwords (or anything similar) first. EVER.

Just because this blog might look ‘dead’ doesn’t mean that it is. It just means that I’m in-between replies or that I don’t have any partners right now. If my muse interests you, then please send me a message. If I weren’t interested in writing here, then I’d officially archive the blog.

ABOUT THE BLOG

This blog is multi-verse, which means all interactions will take place separately unless otherwise plotted. I’ll RP with different versions of the same canon characters because everyone has their own interpretations and it’s fun to see how my muse reacts to different versions. Please don’t let jealousy be a thing. I love all of y’all equally, I swear.

I’m 100% okay with original characters and blogs with multiple muses.

I am open to RPing with just about anyone. If we can find a way to make it work, then I’m good with any gender, any fandom, any sexuality, and any faceclaim (real or cartoon). However, I’m not okay with blogs that RP as living people or as people who’ve recently died. I feel it’s disrespectful. You can follow me; I won’t block you or anything, but we won’t be RPing. I’m generally okay with ‘real life’ historical blogs, but will examine them individually before following.

My blog isn’t Mutuals-Only, but I reserve the right to turn down RPs when and if I feel like it. Please respect my choices. Thank you.

I LOVE crossovers and AUs! Even when I’m not familiar with the fandom. :) Just because I’m clueless about your fandom doesn’t mean we can’t write together. All I ask is for your patience when dealing with my lack of knowledge. :)

A firm reminder that OOC =/= IC. My ideals and morals aren’t reflected in the expressions/actions/and thoughts of my muses. If a muse has said or done something IC that makes you upset OOC, then talk to me about it. I promise to listen and converse with you rationally about whatever’s happened. I also expect to be treated the same in return. If I have any reason to believe you’re having trouble finding the line between the two, I’ll come to you to talk about it. Politely, of course.

In-character drama and angst is something I love and live for! Out-of-character drama and angst won’t be tolerated. Life is too short for the petty squabbles of you, your friends, and/or some other random internet stranger. Posting callouts OF ANY KIND is probably the fastest way to get a soft-block from me. Asking/demanding I choose sides of ANY KIND will likely result in the same. Again - been there, done that. I WILL NOT be dragged into ‘he said/she said/I’ve got screencaps’ levels of drama. If you try, you WILL lose me as a partner. No exceptions.

I’m okay with minor god-modding. If you need my muse to follow yours somewhere or something along those lines, and you don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t, then it’s okay to do it. Let’s save us both some additional writing time. But for anything major or where you’re unsure what my muse would do, please talk to me first. The same goes for meta-gaming. Unless your character has a real reason to know things about mine, please don’t do it.

In that same vein - please DO NOT try to circumvent my muse’s abilities by not telling me something that my muse SHOULD have noticed, and then having it come up in the RP. If you’re not sure they’d notice, tell me in advance and we’ll figure out how to make things work best for both of us. Thank you.

ABOUT MY WRITING

As far as grammar and spelling and punctuation and such - I fully respect those of you for whom English isn’t your first language. I also respect those of you who have learning disabilities. However - if I cannot understand your messages or your replies well enough to form a decent response, we’re not going to work out as writing partners. I’m sorry; it’s not personal.

I generally prefer to do at least a little plotting beforehand, but starters and the like can still be sent, I don’t mind getting things started between our muses that way.

In regards to formatting of any kind (small font, icons, font embellishments, etc.) I’m okay to let you do you as long as you’re okay to let me do me.

I like for my roleplays to have an ending. It doesn’t matter how long or how short the roleplay itself is, I just want it to have an obvious stopping point. If our roleplays seem to constantly die rather than receive proper endings, I’m less likely to seek out future interactions. It’s nothing against you, it’s just how I prefer my roleplaying experience to be. We can still be friends and support each other within the community, we just won’t make good writing partners.

I tend to write A LOT. I like to explore my character’s thoughts, and I like to explore back stories, and I like to offer up scene details. The length of my reply will never require a reply of similar length from you. As long as I have a way to reply, I’m not going to get upset if I write you 6 paragraphs, and you only reply with 2.

That being said, if you prefer one-liner RPs, we’re probably not going to mesh well as partners. I just can’t do them, and I don’t want to force you to do something longer just to RP with me.

ABOUT SHIPS, ROMANCE, and NSFW

Chemistry. Not just between the characters, but between the writers, too. It NEEDS to be there.

I am well over the age of 18 - as is my muse - so smut could happen. It’ll always be tagged NSFW. If I miss something, tell me and I’ll fix it.

More about smut - if you’re not 18 or older, it’s not going to happen. Not even ‘Fade-to-Black’ scenes. No exceptions. Please don’t misrepresent yourself to me in order to write smut.

Other NSFW topics - I’m okay with almost anything with the right plotting. Please DON’T just throw it at me! Ask and we’ll talk. Also, please don’t think I will throw anything at you, either. I won’t. I take dark subjects seriously and believe things should always be discussed first. However, this muse DOES have a dark back story, and it is entirely possible that things might get referenced within hi s own thoughts, so please be aware.

I don’t have triggers and I don’t tag them with CW or TW or any of that. Everything I consider ‘questionable content’ is generally lumped under the NSFW tag. Usually, if I’m posting about spiders or clowns or gore or whatever, I will tag it that way. So, as long as you have the main words flagged or blacklisted or whatever, we should be good. If we’re writing together and there is something you REALLY have an issue with and it’s slipping through your filters for some reason, come talk to me and we can try to work something out.

ABOUT COMMUNICATION

Contact me however is best/easiest for you, but please don’t expect instant replies - even when it looks like I’m online.

If you haven’t heard from me in 5+ days after sending me a message, give me another nudge. I might’ve read it and forgotten to reply… or read it and thought I replied… or Tumblr might’ve eaten it.

If we’re writing together, I can offer you my discord handle on request. That’s actually the quickest way to get in touch with me for plotting, etc.

DO NOT be gaslighty or passive-aggressive with me. EVER. I’ve been there, done that, and I REFUSE to put up with that kind of nonsense. You’ll get one warning (and the offer to talk things out.) That’s it. After that, I’ll probably just soft-block you/stop RPing with you.

Congratulations on making it to the end! :D I know my guidelines are long, but I’ve found that being straightforward and detailed makes for a much more enjoyable writing experience for both me and my partners. If you’ve read through everything and are still interested in my muse, then please send me a message with some ideas and let’s start plotting. ^_^

#guidelines

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jocazep · 4 years

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In the Whole Wide Train | Chapter 10

Author’s notes: Hi, remember me? Sorry about the six-month hiatus, but I’m back at it! And it gon’ get dark (even more so than before), so this is just me laying in the groundworks early... ENJOY~

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Reader (Jo, OFC), slight Edgar x Reader

Warnings: Major spoilers for SNOWPIERCER, dystopian society and its countless problems, mentions of forced abortions, language, violence, deaths, slow burn, eventual smut

Synopsis: Having grown up in the Front Sections of the Snowpiercer, you venture down the train when a rare opportunity presents itself, but the excursion quickly changes flavor when you arrive in the Tail Section.

Taglist: Now closed

Series Masterlist

Chapter 10 - Trading Secrets

Curtis couldn’t remember the last time he slept so well--it must have been before the train. There were no dreams, there were no nightmares, just deep, post-climax slumber as if the world around him has melted away--until the alarm blaring “oh-seven-hundred-hours” yanked him out.

He jumped up, but had to take a second before realizing where he was, as the rest of the revolters joined him, stirring awake and confused--the world outside was pitch dark.

“We’re traveling against time zones” Your voice sounded from behind--Curtis turned to see you walking up with a cup of hot water in hand, ”C’mon, need to make some arrangements before we push on.”

“Good morning to you, too.” He took your extended hand, stood up, and pulled you in for a quick kiss. You didn’t kiss back. “What’s the matter?”

“Oh nothing. Gilliam is looking for us is all.”

The truth of the matter is a little bit more complicated than that.

You woke up early. As a medical apprentice, you used to do that before you had important appointments, as it would clear your head and prepare for your day, but today you found no such effect.

Your eyes fixated on Curtis as he lay next to you, breathing in and out, but your head was a million miles away. What was last night? Was it just two people seeking solace in each other after the death of a mutual friend? Or was it the culmination of all those little touches and stolen glances and shared silences? Did it mean anything to him? More importantly, did it mean anything to you?

But then Mason entered your mind in stealth, slowly gnawing away in the back of your head, until you couldn’t focus on the inner debate between your commitment to your father vs. your--your what? Your responsibility? Your debt?--whatever it is you owe to the revolt.

So you push yourself up, and padded barefoot towards where Mason was being held captive.

“It’s about time.” Her unmistakable accent greeted you before your eyes could find her, “ah is that water?”

You didn’t respond, but dipped the mug in your hand lower so she could suck a mouthful of the liquid before you rescinded it.

“Any chance you can spare some food as well, my dear?”

“Not unless you want the fish they gutted before the fight.” You sat down next to Mason, and silence fell for a second.

“Well, I suppose we should make a de--”

“When did he send you to the tail section?”

“Excuse me?”

“I said how old were you when my father first sent you to the tail sections?”

“I must have been around...well, your age.“

“You don’t know how old I am.”

“You, Joanna Catherine Watt Wilford, are thirty-two years and some three odd months old.”

You stare at Mason in astonishment.

“I’ve seen your birth certificate. There was a time when Mr. Wilford thought about giving you to a foster family... After your mother passed away of course...” Mason took a pause, “But I thought you are here to warn me--”

“I am.” You kept your eyes straight ahead, “This is just my human interest story for the report.”

You tend to forget that for some people, there was a life before the train, since you had barely turned fifteen when your estranged father plucked you from the monotony of a privileged private school, into a monotony of the train.

But hey, at least you got to practice medicine and help people. Is that what I’m doing now?

“The report--that’s why I first went down there too, you know...He must see it as a rite of passage.” A smile threatens to break as Mason reminisced about her past.

“Was it..” You didn’t know how to phrase the question, but luckily Mason caught onto your train of thought.

“Oh dear, even more so. Mr. Wilford really turned it around. They were surviving on rats and vermin before the protein block assembly. When I first went down there... it’s as if all society had broken down. There was stories about this pregnant woman... And when they found out who I was, they chained me up and almost tore me to pieces. Imagine what they would do to you. ”

You had heard enough, “All right, here’s the deal. I keep you alive, you keep your mouth shut about me. Sound good?”

Mason nodded enthusiastically as you stood up to leave. “Just one more thing, what does Mr. Wilford want with Curtis?”

You did not look back, “Ask another wrong question, and my father will hear about it.”

Mason all but clasped her hands onto her mouth.

You were planning to sneak back and lay your head on Curtis’ chest, relive the little escape you two had before the day had to begin, but today luck just wasn’t on your side. As your turned the corner back into the makeshift dorm, soft crying and sniffling caught your attention.

It was Tanya. By the dim moonlight reflected from the snow, you could see her clutching a piece of paper and wiping tears from her face. By the time you realized it was the charcoal drawing of Timmy she was holding, it was too late to turn back.

Noticing the light shift, Tanya sat up and look at the person standing a few feet from her. You didn’t know what to do for a moment. You two haven’t been alone since you came clean about Timmy. In a letter no less, you coward.

“I didn’t mean to--”

Tanya lay back down and closed her eyes.

What was the rest of your sentence anyway? You asked yourself as you padded towards the infirmary section, sleep now the last thing on your mind. Didn’t mean to pry? Didn’t man to take Timmy? Didn’t mean to get so close to Curtis and the revolt?

You were pulled from the reverie by Yuna’s hand tugging your sleeve. Around you, the men were deep in discussion, figuring out how many people to station at each section.

Yuna slipped you a piece of paper torn from the small notebook you gifted her. On it she had drawn a picture of herself and Namgoong in the prison section, the many drawers colored dark and ominous. Yuna pointed to the drawers.

“It’s a little advanced for you but ok,” you took the pencil from her and spelled out the word prison, “Prison, it’s a place to hold people that have broken the law.”

Yuna didn’t seem to like that word. She wrestled the paper from you, pointed to the drawers again, and looked at you, waiting for a response.

“Jo?” You whipped your head back to the much less mystifying, but much more important meeting.

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

Curtis gave you an update, “Gilliam will stay behind, with 50 men stationed in the water section, then 15 men at each other section before our base,” Base is what you called the tail section now, “Grey will stay with Gilliam as well.”

“Nonsense, Grey will be much more useful to you than me.”

You shot a look at Gilliam as he chimed in, wondering if he really meant it.

“I think Grey should stay too. We are already a large pack as it is--”

“Don’t forget, Jo, we’re going ahead to take the engine,” Gilliam gave you a long look, “who knows what you will find there”.

Right. You bit your tongue and didn’t argue any further. Let’s never forget

“We were trying to decide what we should do about Mason.” Namgoong picked up the thread of discussion, “What do you think?”

“She’s injured, will only slow us down.” Grey’s voice was very quiet.

“I would rather keep her close than let her stay with the captured soldiers. Who knows what she’ll get them up to.”

“That’s fair, I can’t possibly keep an eye on her the whole time,” Gilliam agreed.

“Tanya’s doing a great job watching her.” *So that’s why she’s not in the meeting.*

“She didn’t want to come with us?”

“Of course she did, but--”

“I think Jo’s saying Tanya should go with you.”

The discussion wrapped up quickly after that, as dusk was threatening to break over the horizon. Your partners in crime stood up and went off--there were bags to pack, arrangements to make, and farewells to say.

You dragged your feet, hoping to spend a few minutes with Gilliam before setting off.

“Having doubts, dear?” Gilliam clicked by on his crutch.

“Before I first came down--”

“Perhaps it’s best you don’t tell me exactly what Wilford asked of you.” Sometimes you wish you had his ability to see right through everything.

“You don’t want to know?”

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t,” Gilliam chuckled, “But I’ve feigned ignorance too many times, even for someone my age. I’d like this occasion to be real.”

“Then...can I ask how much you know?”

“As far as I know, the revolt should have served its purpose after the water supply section.”

You nodded, “Do you ever ask yourself, why he always landed on culling?”

“It wasn’t just him, my dear.”

For the second time that day, you stared in astonishment.

“Perhaps you’re the only person with whom I can share this secret.” There were mini explosions happening in your head as Gilliam spoke, “No past revolt has gotten past the water section. Sometimes it was disorganization, sometimes it was survival instincts, sometimes just plain human greed. But every time, the necessary culling would take place, and the tail section would treasure its existence that was magnanimously gifted by Wilford.”

“Why did they settle?”

“The very first revolts that took place, was only six months into the train journey. Curtis was a little past seventeen, completely unaware, and Edgar, god rest his soul, was just a baby. The leader, he rallied enough people to fight. But every battle cost heavily on his side. Byt the time he got to the prison section, there were only a handful of adult men left. And Mason, who was also a surveyor at the time, managed to entice him with promises of a better life. He held out for a while, but eventually he chose the devil he knew.”

“Your point being?"

"My point being, there's only so much you can do at one given time. Learn to pick your battles."

---

You left Gilliam soon after, head still reeling from the secrets he confided, wondering if he ever regretted his past decisions.

“Hey...” Curtis snuck up on you, taking your hand. You jumped slightly, taken out of your trance. “Do you realize this will be the last time we’re alone for a while?”

“Yeah...?”

He pulled you into him, and caught your lips in a long kiss. You both stumble towards the steel walls of the train, eventually settling in a nook. Curtis dipped his tongue past your teeth, tangling with your tongue, one of his knee wedging between your legs, bringing back heated vignettes of last night. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your hips bucking against his thigh, your belly bumping up against his increasing hardness.

Curtis eventually lifts his lips from you, allowing you to breathe, while he latches onto the side of your neck. His hand roams up your belly, kneading your breasts, squeezing your side--

“Ow!”

“Shit, sorry,” Hard pause as he remembers your injury, “Is it getting better?”

“No, but I’ll live,” you answered, breathless, “when we get to the health section I’ll take a closer look.”

Curtis rest his head against yours, gulping for air, “This is your injury number three, huh?”

“Yeah, you are bad news for me.”

From the front of the section, someone called out, “Curtis, Jo, we’re doing the portrait!”

“You gonna be okay there?” You eyed his bulge.

“Yeah, just gimme a minute...”

The portrait took longer than you expected. While Painter took down your likeness in charcoal, Andrew was playing with the now captive Mason, asserting his newly-earned dominance over this once proud magistrate.

“I was hoping to talk about it earlier.” Curtis said out of the corner of his mouth as you all stood, eight half-frozen figures.

“I...enjoyed it?” You said, tongue in cheek, “Would recommend to a friend.”

“Funny,” Curtis couldn’t help the smile creeping onto his face, “But seriously...”

“I mean...” You looked up at him, “If we both survive when this is all over...”

You were joking but the words hit home for Curtis, as he remembered Edgar. Will you both come out of this alive? He had always considered himself as someone with nothing to lose, but now...

You turned away as you noticed Curtis staring into the distance. Gilliam was standing in the front of the crowd that would stay behind, looking at you with his signature elderly smile, and something else just behind the glasses, a mutual understanding that this is truly farewell.

You found yourself running his words again and again in your head.

“The leader asked for running water, and a stable food supply. Wilford agreed, but asked the leader to help him maintain the balance in the tail section whenever necessary. A few months later, the protein blocks started coming in, a washroom was unlocked, and my secret phone compartment was installed.”

Taglist: @torntaltos @emmalbg @ajosieface

#curtis everett #curtis everett fanfic #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x you #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Snowpiercer #snowpiercer fanfic

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kuramirocket · 3 years

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Sandwiched between private properties in Southeast Austin sits a little-known cemetery off Hoeke Lane, just west of U.S. 183. From the outside, there’s nothing that indicates the site is the final resting place for a number of Mexican and Mexican-American residents who died decades ago.

It’s a wilderness. The headstones, many of which date back to the 1940s, are easy to miss. The weeds are overgrown, and trees and shrubs cover much of the 4.5-acre plot.

The cemetery has been called a couple different names over the years — the Montopolis Cemetery and San José II. But no sign will tell you that. In fact, there’s scarce information available about the cemetery’s history at all.

But members of the community and a team of researchers are trying to change that. They want to trace back its history and ensure the cemetery, along with its sister site in nearby Montopolis, is preserved.

Diana Hernandez is the lead researcher for (Re)claiming Memories, a research group out of UT Austin that seeks to restore and preserve missing histories in communities of color. She and her team have been collecting death certificates and reaching out to descendants of those buried at the cemeteries to help piece together the history.

“Once we start to research the people that are buried here and start to find archival documentation for each person, we start to see the community come to life through the cemetery,” she said.

The History

To understand San José II, Hernandez says, we have to start about 2 miles north at San José I. This historic Mexican and Mexican-American cemetery was built around 1919. It sits between two churches off Montopolis Drive, though neither of them own it. The site is believed to be unclaimed, or orphaned, meaning no one is responsible for its upkeep in any official capacity. But neighbors and community members have taken care of it as best they can over the years, mowing the lawn, pulling weeds and cleaning off gravestones.

A metal archway stands at the entrance and reads “San Jose Cementerio.” The cemetery was founded by a mutual aid society called the Union Fraternal Mexicana, and it served the migrant sharecropping community. This was during segregation.

“Mexicans weren’t necessarily allowed to be buried in white cemeteries,” Hernandez said. “In some cases I've seen where there's a white cemetery, and then right next to it is the Mexican section … In this case, it was just a completely different cemetery."

When Cementerio San José started to get full, the second one was created in 1949 in Del Valle. Over the years, the cemeteries changed hands. The original San José hasn’t had a known owner for several decades. San José II has an owner, but she’s believed to be in poor health and unable to maintain it, according to Hernandez. KUT reached out to the owner for this story, but did not hear back.

Based on their research so far, Hernandez and her team estimate San José I and II have more than 350 burials combined. But understanding how many burials are at each individual site is a challenge. That’s partly because on death certificates, the name Montopolis Cemetery was often used interchangeably for San José I and II. And not every burial has a gravestone.

Many people buried at the cemeteries died during concurrent epidemics, like influenza, tuberculosis and pneumonia.

“They were getting so many bodies that they were burying people in layers on top of each other, and they stopped documenting who all was getting buried,” she said. “Because there's no documentation for the number of layers for the people that were being buried in these mass graves, we're just never going to know. There's going to be layers of people that we're never going to be able to identify.”

Hernandez began researching the San José cemeteries at the end of 2019, just before the area was hit with another outbreak of a deadly disease — COVID-19. And again, this predominantly Latino neighborhood was hit harder than others.

“These histories repeat themselves,” Hernandez said. “I think that’s one of the reasons why this work is important, because it kind of sheds light on these pasts that weren’t acknowledged the way they should have been. We can use this knowledge to improve our present.”

The Descendants

Frank Monreal remembers the days when Montopolis Drive was just a dirt road. He and the other neighborhood kids, some 50 years ago, would play on the giant oak tree that stands in the middle of Cementerio San José. Instead of bicycles, he and his friends had horses.

“Everybody rode horses back then,” he said one day while at San José I. “We used to come out here, and they were our lawn mowers. They let them eat the grass and keep the grass low here.”

Monreal has relatives buried at San José I and II. From an early age, he understood death was a natural part of life. He often helped out with funerals. He remembers one burial happening at Cementerio San José when he was a kid. But it’s been a long time since anyone was buried there, he says. Most gravesites appear to date back to the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s.

There were more gravestones back then, he says, but some have weathered or broken over time. He used to walk through the cemetery on his way to school. He’d often see people putting flowers on graves, something he doesn’t see much anymore. Now, many relatives have died or left.

“That’s inevitable, you know, because generations change,” he said. “People move away.”

Preserving the cemetery, though, is important, he says, especially as gentrification has altered the landscape of Montopolis over the years.

“[The cemetery] is sacred ground to us, from our ancestors,” he said. “I don’t want to see it gone.”

Micaela Johnson, a 19-year-old artist and activist, can trace part of her family tree back to the Cementerio San José. She’s a member of the Limón family, one of Austin’s founding families whose descendants now number upwards of 3,500.

Many of her family members grew up and had businesses in Montopolis, like the Limón Bakery. She said her grandparents probably have connections to at least a quarter of the people buried at San José.

In her family, passing down stories from generation to generation is a common tradition. She remembers hearing stories about Aurora, her grandfather’s sister, who died in 1940 of pneumonia when she was 11 months old. She was buried at Cementerio San José, and her gravestone was decorated with marbles. But Johnson hasn’t been able to locate it.

She also remembers stories of Concepcion Trevino Garcia, her great-great-grandmother who died in 1939 from tuberculosis and was buried at San José. She left behind her husband and five young daughters.

“She was one of the strongest women that I have ever heard my family talk about,” Johnson said. “She was very driven and very loving.”

Garcia's grandchildren still visit the cemetery on Mother’s Day and leave flowers, Johnson said. Her family’s connection to the cemetery has inspired Johnson to get involved with (Re)claiming Memories and help ensure the San José cemeteries are well kept.

“It’s not just a place where people are buried,” she said. “It’s the life and the heart of a lot of our ancestry.”

One of the more recent headstones at Cementerio San José belongs to Augustina Rosales, who was at one time believed to be Austin’s oldest living resident. She died in 1994 at age 116. Near the back of the cemetery, she’s buried next to her husband Marcos, who died in 1951.

Rosales had 13 children and raised several others who were relatives or orphaned as if they were her own. She liked to dance to conjunto music and cook for her family, according to an Austin American-Statesman article about her death. Rosa Moncada, Rosales's great-granddaughter, says “she was awesome.”

Maintaining The Cemeteries

Moncada has several other relatives buried at San José, including grandparents and two older sisters who were born premature and died. Growing up in East Austin, Moncada would go with her mother and siblings to visit the cemetery. But they went less frequently over time, in part because the grass was often so high they couldn’t easily walk through it.

When they heard about the work Hernandez and her team are doing to help maintain the cemetery, Moncada and her sister Juanita Moncada Bayer started visiting again. And now they’re trying to keep it maintained, bringing relatives together to mow the lawn and clear out dead tree branches.

But maintaining the cemetery consistently isn’t an easy task. San José I is 2.5 acres.

“We thought, well, let's do what we can,” Bayer said. “But unfortunately, our mind tells us we can do it. But our bodies — like, that's hard work.”

(Re)claiming Memories and members of the community hosted a cleanup for San José earlier this year and hope to host more. They have been reaching out to city and county leaders, asking them to allocate more resources to the cemeteries' maintenance.

The more challenging endeavor will be cleaning up San José II. The site is difficult to access, making it hard for people to visit and maintain it.

Monreal remembers going to San José II as a kid to visit his grandfather’s grave with his dad. Back then, San José II had a proper entrance and was easier to get to.

Now, a locked chain-link fence blocks the main path that leads to the cemetery. Several sources told KUT the fence was put up by the property owner next door, perhaps to keep people from trespassing. KUT reached out to the law office that owns the property and was told it didn’t have anything to do with the gate. Hernandez and the research group are trying to get to the bottom of the issue and hope to create a proper entrance, so descendants can visit.

The area has long had problems with people dumping trash and gravel. A mound of dirt and debris now presses against fencing on one side of the cemetery.

And warehouses are being built on the southeastern side. This worries Hernandez because the cemetery hasn’t been surveyed; some burials could be outside the perimeter and could be disturbed. Community members have expressed concern that debris from construction is impacting the cemetery.

When KUT reached out to the construction manager for the company that’s developing the site, he was surprised to learn there was a cemetery next door. (“That is a jungle,” Brent Ramirez said.)

The cemetery itself is zoned for warehouse and limited office use, which some are concerned could make it vulnerable to development. (Re)claiming Memories is working with Council Member Vanessa Fuentes to get the proper zoning for it and a historical designation. Fuentes toured the cemetery earlier this year.

“It’s sad to see because it looks as if it’s been neglected and dismissed, especially with the development that’s right next to it,” she said. “Those are families and families’ history and legacies and relatives that are buried there. Those are stories that need to be told.”

Currently, pink marking flags stick up in various spots within the shrubbery of San José II. That’s the work of Joaquin Rodriguez, an Austin resident who has been going out to the cemetery to remove litter and clean off and mark gravestones that have been covered up over time.

He first learned about the cemetery late last year while researching his ancestry. Rodriguez, who was adopted, had taken a DNA test and learned he had relatives buried at cemeteries throughout Austin, including San José I and II. After seeing how neglected San José II was, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

The (Re)claiming Memories team wants to eventually create a digital map or database where people can upload information about the people buried at the cemeteries. Hernandez hopes this crowdsourced online resource will help bring the stories of the deceased together and shed light on the history of the Mexican and Mexican-American community in Montopolis.

The team is also putting together an exhibit on the cemeteries for the Mexic-Arte Museum in September. Johnson plans to perform a poem called “We Are Lost History” and sell shirts she designed, the proceeds from which will support the cemeteries' upkeep.

Johnson said she recognizes that Austinites who are not directly connected to the cemeteries may not see a reason to care about them, but she thinks they should.

“They might just see it as another gravesite or another old ancient Mexican burial ground, and they might [think] it doesn’t matter because it’s not a part of them,” Johnson said. “But it is a part of them. It’s a part of the history of Austin.”

And as development continues to alter the look and population of the Montopolis neighborhood, she says, it’s urgent to keep conversations about the cemeteries going.

“If we’re not actively trying to be like, ‘Hey, this matters,’” she said, “it’ll get washed away.”

#🇲🇽#usa #united states #texas #texan history #mexican history #cemetary #cemetaries #montopolis #mexican #mexican american #austin #austin texas

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

Note

bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core.

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word.

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head” but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

#cashtonasfuck #ask #answered #this is a whole ass multimedia fucking presentation #you asked for the director's cut but like i sure as hell didnt hold back dflkhggj #in fairness you picked two longer fics #though most of my rilex fics are longer ones which is strange #but like good for them #director's cut #this was really fun #thank you lucyyy <3 #these were the good right choices for rilex fics to dissect because the other ones are either shorter or rilex is a background pairing #or like . just aint that deep #i stole the plot of something unpredictable from that other fic by that other person #so ya know #the fact that this response contains an entire deleted scene in a screenshot #this is a lot lmfao

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bangchanshehe · 4 years

Text

The Trespasser pt.4

You were on top of the world with the new title of leader of your family’s clan. You were the strongest clan in all of the orient and you were proud. But your family feels that there are threats still lurking around making you a target. When they introduce you to a potential man for a business and marriage merger will it help your clan or make matters worse?

Word count: 3.7k

Wonho x Reader, Shownu x Reader, Jooheon x Reader

The past few days had flown by and you did lots of menial and dumb tasks to make time go by. Everyone around the house questioned you when they noticed you cleaning the house up or doing lots of overtime, thinking that something was bothering you. But like the holed up and skeptical person you typically are in these types of situations you smiled and replied with a total lie.

The truth was that you were technically okay regardless of how the entire “proposed marriage deal” went, but you just felt still so insecure about how a baiter for a very powerful family would want to get into a marriage at such a young age. Sure, if it had to do with the family business and Marriage for profits it would make sense. But baiters are notoriously known for being completely cut of from their emotions, which is why they can lie and sleep around with people the way that they do. They take but never give anything in return and it made you question Hoseok’s authenticity.

And although you were not looking for an emotional, and legitimate marriage of love you did want for your legal husband real or fake, to be loyal to you and your business and have honest intentions. You could care less if Hoseok was the leader of his family’s clan or not, you just wanted the mutual benefits of being partnered with a Shin.

You went over everything that you wanted to ask Hoseok as you got ready for your meeting at Icon. It was 8:30 and you looked over your figure in the mirror and smiled to yourself. You looked damn good, suited up in a solid black fitted pant suit, and jacket… minus the shirt underneath allowing for your black lace bra to be the focal point of your outfit. You put on your fire engine red lipstick and matching red heels and then strut out of your bathroom.

You felt your phone vibrate and you looked down at the screen

Shownu: Just arrived

You smiled at the text from Shownu and your body instantly relaxed a little bit. You had planned to have him there for a little bit more security, but asked him to blend in with the crowd, so you could talk to Hoseok without any uncertainty on his end. You grabbed your keys waved bye to the boys and then stepped out into the night air, ready for what was next to come.

The drive was only 20 minutes from your secluded house and you pulled into the parking lot of Icon in what seemed like no time. You put the car into park, scanned the parking lot to see if you could recognize any vehicles or people walking around and then picked up your phone to text Shownu.

Me: just arrived, about to go ins-

You dropped your phone, when a sudden knocking on your window startled you. You let out a huff and looked over with a glare to whoever caused you to be scared and then relaxed a little when you recognized Hoseok hunched over, looking inside at you with a wide smile.

You picked up your phone, took out the keys and stepped out of your vehicle giving Hoseok only a polite head bow and smile.

“Sorry to scare you” Hoseok said rubbing the back of his head and giving you a smile “I pulled in at the same time as you and figured it’d be easier to go in at the same time instead of having to look for one another inside.”

“ah, no worries “ you gave in. what he said did make a little sense from a logical standpoint “shall we?” you asked him pointing with your hand towards the building

“yes, please” he said with a megawatt smile

You walked silently for a moment and as you got closer to the front doors Hoseok cleared his throat and leaned in closer to your ear.

“By the way… you look really good tonight.” He confessed

You turned your head to look at him and then scanned his outfit. He looked really good in black trousers and a black button down shirt tucked into his pants with the top few buttons undone. He knew what he was doing trying to draw attention to his chest and then you laughed to yourself. You were doing the same thing weren’t you? Marketing yourself. His hair was parted nicely and styled back, and his skin looked flawless.

You would typically respond with a polite response back, but Hoseok knew that he was good looking and it was no use using flattery on him.

“thank you” you responded with a small smile before turning back to the doors and entering the loud and busy club, bypassing the people waiting outside to get inside.

As you entered you felt the pulsing of the bass of the music vibrate through your body, and the lights strobe and dance across the club in a hypnotizing manner. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and sweat clouded your nose and countless bodies, swayed on the dance floor. You lead Hoseok towards the back of the club where there were private booths and took a seat in a corner booth were there were few people and privacy curtains.

As you sat down Hoseok smiled and reached for the curtains, making sure to close them tightly as to block out as much of the music as possible. You watched his arms as he worked on the fabric, unfashioning it and pulling it to a close.

“Do you want to order anything?” Hoseok asked you

You gave him a small smile and shook your head no.

“I don’t drink in public.” You answered his question

Hoseok raised his eyebrows and nodded his head “good, neither do I, unless its important for a job” he responded. “so… what questions do you have for me?” he asked right off the bat

“lot of things, as I’m sure you could imagine….” You stared off “ first… my parents mentioned that you had seen me many times when I was a child, but I never met you? Why is that?”

Hoseok raised a single eyebrow and contemplated for a moment on how to respond before he gave you a very simple one. “I had a very busy schedule as a child”

“look… I don’t mean to be rude. But if I am even going to consider a contractual marriage with you then I need to know a little bit more about you.” You spoke up and Hoseok shifted in his seat and looked down at the table before looking up at you with a stern expression. “I know that you were in some sort of accident and had an injured back, but why would you even bother coming to see me if you had to leave for such a said busy schedule”

“okay that’s fair” he replied with a deep sigh “when I was 12 I was in a drunk driving accident. The driver hit our car and it caused us to flip and the car caught on fire. I had to have 2 spinal surgeries, jaw reconstruction, titanium plates in my arms and a knee surgery.”

You looked at him with wide eyes as you processed what he told you. You could not even begin to imagine the amount of pain that he had to be in.

“It took a long time to heal and for a long time I was completely wheelchair bound, because my spine and body wasn’t strong enough to support me. I had lots of physical therapy, and because of my condition I wasn’t able to tolerate lots of moving around from place to place or sitting in one spot for long.” He continued

“I’m sorry that happened. That had to be very difficult to get through at such a young age.” You spoke up “but I’m still curious as to why you would still come to events involving me”

Hoseok’s serious demeanor suddenly dropped a little and he let out a small smile and chuckle “actually I’ve been told from a very young age that you would be my wife. Our parents have been planning our marriage for a long time.” He confessed

Your jaw dropped a little and you sat back in your seat remembering your mother call Hoseok her “Son-in-Law”. Had it been anyone else you would have not been so convinced so easily, but you didn’t doubt it for a moment after the whole spectacle your parents put you through at their house.

As soon as you let that idea settle in your mind you decided to ask Hoseok more questions that had been weighing on your mind.

“so is it still true that you have no intentions of pursing the leader position of your family clan?” you asked him

“it’s true. After my accident I had a lot of time to think about my future and what I wanted to do, and I decided that I was lucky enough to get a chance at life so I wanted to do something that would allow me to have a little more time to enjoy my life and the finer things.” He answered

“so then what does this marriage do for you?” you asked him

“well…” he said and then cleared his voice and adjusted his posture “since im physically unable to be the leader, the marriage allows for the clan to stay in control of the shin family. It essentially puts me in the most control without having the title or workload of leader if anything happens to my brother.”

“your brother Is in control now?” you asked and you received a nod in return “and what exactly is your position now?”

“I handle some business deals and negotiations with my brother behind closed doors, but on an everyday basis I usually just bait.” He confessed

“and it doesn’t bother you that you cant take the position?” you asked him

He gave you a smile, but you could tell that he was straining his jaw. You could imagine how difficult it would be to constantly struggle with your position and health. And then to top it off he had to be here with you because he had no other choice, if he wanted anything to do with maintaining the family’s control.

“of course it bothers me… I’ve been trained since young how to run the business and now all I can do is sit back and watch other people do what I was supposed to do. And don’t get me wrong my brother makes a great leader, but the way he executes some deals really gets on my nerves.”

“that’s understandable” you agreed “since this would be a contractual marriage, how would you expect our family to benefit your business and vice versa?” you asked him

“money and business isn’t an issue, the only thing we are wanting to take from your family through the marriage is a healthier reputation, and if absolutely necessary allyship in times of warfare with other clans.” He answered sincerely

You nodded your head and concentrated on his request “then our needs are similar. This marriage in most needed in our case for reputation as well”

“good” Hoseok said softly

Hoseok gave you a polite smile and you returned one to him. Prior to the meeting you felt very uneasy about the possible outcomes of this meeting, but after talking with Hoseok you realized that they two of you were here for pretty similar reasons. Hoseok’s clan has a reputation of having the weak son, and your clan was labeled weak because you were a woman. Which made both of you an easy target, but with each other as reinforcement you both become closer to indestructible.

“so lets talk more about you and I and not the business…” you started giving Hoseok a more relaxed impression. Hoseok looked you up and down and gave you a small smile before leaning into the table and crossing his arms Infront of himself “how long do you ideally want for this marriage to last?”

He thought the question over for a minute and then responded “honestly, the longer the better. And I think that stands for the both of us if I’m being honest”

You rolled your eyes slightly at his response “I’m not saying that I’ve agreed to anything yet, but an indefinite contract marriage is a little… excessive” you said “how would you feel about starting off at 1 year to get comfortable and familiar with one another and the business and then if we still feel as if we can get along and be beneficial to one another we can extend and redraw the contract?”

Hoseok considered the proposal for a solid minute and you held your ground and you gave him a serious look as you maintained eye contact. Finally, he gave you a small smile and then broke his silence.

“do you find me to be unsatisfactory as a potential husband?” he asked you seriously

You laughed and shook your head before giving him a small smile “my request has nothing to do with you not meeting my standards, but everything to do with whether or not I find it to be a good business move.” You answered and Hoseok sat back in his seat a little “to be quite honest the only reason that I’m here is because my family requested it of me and I think I might potentially be extra security for the clan, not because I have any interest in getting married. In fact, I have never considered marriage or even a serious relationship to be in my near future.” you answered

Hoseok nodded in understanding “so you aren’t seeing anyone?” he asked

You were about to nod your head but you hesitated for a moment unaware of how to go about addressing your relationship with Shownu and Jooheon. It wasn’t like you were completely single because you did have somewhat of a relationship, even if you didn’t have titles for each other. You weren’t together but you also weren’t just friends. Friends with benefits?

“something you can’t put a label on?” he asked you

You gave him a small nod in response, and he smiled back at you

“if we do proceed with things is it going to be an issue with your friend?” he asked

“they already know about this arrangement and what it could possibly mean for the future…” you said without think twice about how much you just shared

“THEY?!” Hoseok asked with wide eyes and a shocked look on his face “like two people at once?” he asked you looked up at his with wide eyes at his reaction “do they know about you seeing more than one person?” he continued to ask

You scoffed a little pissed that he would insinuate that you were a cheater “of course they know about one another.” you answered “and yes… I didn’t plan it but it just happened to be this way”

“wow” was all he said as he looked you up and down “okay just a few more questions…and don’t get mad at me for what I’m about to ask” he commented making you curious as to what he could say to piss you off

“how realistic do you want this marriage to look to other people?” he asked you and you relaxed

“realistic enough that people won’t want to fuck with either one of us” you answered

“okay then what would the living arrangements look like?” he asked

You stopped for a moment caught off guard by his question, and quite unsure not having ever considered the question.

“do we have to live with each other?” you asked

“of course, if you want it to look real….” he replied “I live at home with my parents so its probably not ideal for the kind of lifestyle you want”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked him

“well… you live on your own and you have… partners” he answered honestly

“if things proceed then I would be willing to open up a bedroom and office for you” you replied

“and would things be strictly business or would we be open to pursuing one another?” he asked and your eyes went wide at how brazen he was being

“just business!” you quickly replied “as I said earlier I have no intentions of being in a relationship. Anyways… being a baiter wont make things complicated for you after the contract begins right?” you asked him

“no… not at all” he said with a small smile “usually the baits take anywhere from 2 to 6 months and at most I would be gone for only a few months at a time but that is only for the tough and rare cases” he explained

“as long as you can insure that my home and clan won’t be in danger from your baits following you to my home then I am totally fine with whatever you need to do” you answered

“usually during the job I stay in an old apartment so that there aren’t any issues or slip ups.” He answered and then was silent for a few moments “okay well I think that you and I have some things to think about now… and decide if we want to seriously continue to the next step” Hoseok said with a smile

you nodded your head and gave him a polite smile. “you can stay if you like, but since we are done here I will go home. and I will try to get back to you soon with more information” you politely bowed to him and then stepped out of the private booth.

“Wait!” Hoseok called after you

You hand just made eye contact with Shownu as Hoseok called you and you turned your head to address him

“I’ll be leaving too…. This isn’t really my scene” Hoseok said with a smile “let me walk you out!” Hoseok offered and you gave him a smile

As the two of you made your way across the club you noticed the vibe had shifted in the crowd of people. The music had gotten more seductive, the clients were drunk, and people were no longer just having a good time. Most were partnered off and grinding on strangers, giving them a look like they were ready to fuck on the floor if they could.

When you finally reached the front of the club you took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of clean air. You clutched your arms and looked up at the night sky to see the stars and moon hanging just above you, happy to just be out of the sex fueled building.

As you stepped as much as ten feet away from the front door you hear it open once more, and without even looking behind you could tell that it was Shownu. Hoseok however decided to look back and he scoffed before turning back around.

“is he one of your guys?” he asked calmly under his breath just loud enough for you to hear

You just barely peeked over your shoulder to confirm and then hummed as an answer.

Hoseok chuckled and then gave you a smile “I’m guessing that he’s one of the two that you mentioned?” he asked and you turned to give him a look of curiosity “he looks like he wants to bite my head off, so I figured that it was safe to assume” he joked

Now you completely turned to look back at Shownu and chuckled at the look of disgust and unhappiness on his face. You were sure to get an earful when you got home about all of his opinions on what type of a person Hoseok is. You let out a soft sigh and then smiled down at the ground. This night could have taken many different turns, but you were relieved that things were at least starting off on a half decent track.

When you had finally arrived in front of your car, Hoseok gave you a soft smile before pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it over to you. You took the phone and looked up at him with wide, curious eyes. Did he want for you to save your number in his phone? You unlocked the phone and quickly added the number for a second phone.

Of course things were starting off well, but you weren’t dumb enough to give him your personal number. If he needed to contact you he could email or text your spare, unregistered phone.

You handed the phone back to him and he quickly tucked it back into his pant pocket.

“thanks for meeting me tonight, it allowed me to understand you and the contract a little bit more” he said politely

“yes, thank you as well. It was very important for me to have some clarity before I decided to move forward” you said as politically and general as possible, hyperaware that you had a nosy Shownu lingering over your shoulder.

Hoseok gave you a smile, looked you up and down once more and then turned to Shownu and gave him a cheeky grin, before yelling out a little too confidently

“Hey buddy, take care of her for me tonight”

He winked at Shownu and then moved on to find his own vehicle avoiding the death glares and cursing that was falling out of Shownu’s mouth like fire. You turned to give Shownu a secret glance before you quickly got into your car, avoiding having to have any kind of conversation with Shownu while he was this annoyed.

Shownu stared at you with a frown through the windshield for a moment before he resigned and finally got into his own car, ready to follow you home.

You let out the breath that you didn’t know that you were holding in and turned the volume to your music up slightly, because you had exactly about a 20 minute car ride until the second hard part of the night begun.

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staytheb · 3 years

Text

Elusive

Pairing: TXT’s Yeonjun x OC [Chaeyeon] Genre: college!au, slice of life, slight fluff Word Count: 4,580 Summary: Yeonjun and Chaeyeon are just friends, but it could be a little more than that. Well, maybe more for Yeonjun as Chaeyeon’s a bit oblivious.

Warning: none... i think. lol

hi! so i got to writing about Yeonjun from TXT! so the group has been removed from RESERVED and over to INACTIVE for now as i still dunno how often i will write with them in mind, but this came about and i’m still learning the members so this may not be as accurate. then again, this is a re-work of my other story Exclusive which only features one pairing and not a second one like the original. anyways, hopefully all my re-works can be done by the end of the year and to include more groups to write for as well. other than that, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

"You've got to be kidding me." Chaeyeon said in disbelief upon arriving early to her 8AM class.

Apparently it had been cancelled for the remainder of the week and she totally forgot about it.

"I really need to pay better attention."

Running a hand through her hair she heard a chuckle from behind her and turned around to see her classmate and friend, Yeonjun, walking up to her with a bubble tea in each hand.

"You're cute."

Chaeyeon made a face upon hearing his compliment.

"I'm not."

"Anyways, good morning." He greeted with a cheery attitude.

Chaeyeon frowned knowing that for her it was not a good morning.

"It's not. Anyways, why are you here?"

"To hang out with you since I knew you forgot that this class was cancelled for the rest of the week."

He grinned as Chaeyeon rolled her eyes.

"Oh wow, the great and mighty Choi Yeonjun gracing me with his royal presence. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness."

Yeonjun's excited expression dampened a bit.

"Gee, thanks, Chae. I was gonna give you this taro milk tea to make you feel better, but instead I'll enjoy it myself."

He smirked as he took a sip out of the purple drink.

"Ah, so delicious."

"Go ahead."

Chaeyeon shrugged as she walked right pass him.

"I'll buy myself something else and kill time before my next class."

Yeonjun followed after her with a pout.

"You do know that the taro was for you, right?"

"I do, but you put your nasty germs on it and so I don't want it."

"But you share things with everyone else though?"

"I know, but you're a different story."

"Then you can have the other one."

He offered her the greenish-brown drink.

"No thanks. I don't really like mint chocolate as bubble tea."

"It's not like I have cooties, Chae."

"Um, Jun, have you forgotten about your fans?"

She shot him a look.

"Because I'm not tryna get killed, which I'm surprised that there is none lurking around sending me death glares."

"Stop. I don't have fans." Yeonjun disagreed as he brushed off the topic.

"Whatever you wanna call them, they won't kill you. You're my friend and I haven't seen them give you any dirty looks."

"One, they're two-faced because when you turn around to look at them their so-called angelic faces appear. Two, I'm a female friend that's closer to you than they'll ever be to which to this day I still don't know how we're friends, honestly. We don't really have that much in common."

"Friends don't always have to have similar interests, Chaeyeon. It's mutual respect and a connection. Anyways, is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?" Yeonjun interjected upon hearing the part about them being friends.

"You can take it however you want."

Chaeyeon chuckled before continuing.

"Anyways, true, but maybe it's because you always copy my homework and sit next to me in class when you can literally sit anywhere else."

"Because you have better handwriting and you don't stare at me constantly."

"I wonder why."

She rolled her eyes before shooting him a look.

"Psh. And here you say they're not your fans."

Serena then took the purple drink from him and took a sip to assure him of their close relationship.

"Thanks though, but you still owe me something to eat from last time."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. You won't stop reminding me. Anyways, forget about them. They're not important."

He dismissed the topic about the fans.

"I'll meet you in the library at our usual spot then, yeah?"

Yeonjun informed her as the two split in different directions. While Chaeyeon was casually making her way up the stairs towards the library she suddenly heard her name being shouted from behind her. Just as she had turned around to see who it was she was suddenly tackled to the ground with the person on top of her while her drink fumbled away from her.

"Smile!"

The male announced happily as he held up his phone with one hand while the other hand held a placard to take a self-portrait of himself and Chaeyeon which she immediately partially blocked her face in time.

"Get off, Sim Jaeyun!"

Chaeyeon tried shoving the friend and classmate of hers off of her.

Jaeyun chuckled nervously as he obeyed while backing away from Chaeyeon with a good amount of space between them as another friend and classmate, Park Jongseong, joined them a moment later while catching his breath.

"Sorry, Chaeyeon. I tried, but once he saw you he ran so fast that I couldn't keep up." Jongseong explained once he caught his breath before a cheeky smile appeared on his face.

"Also, I wanted to see what would happen and the outcome was hilarious."

"You're a brat, Jongseong." Chaeyeon scoffed while fixing herself, but shot the two a friendly look.

"What are you two doing out and about so early in the morning?"

"Trying to complete the scavenger list." Jaehyun answered as he held up his placard.

"I really want this customized leather jacket just for Beta Heta Mu members."

"Of course. You're cute, Jaeyun."

Chaeyeon smiled before her eyes landed on the boba that Yeonjun had given her.

"But you owe me a drink though."

"I will if only..."

"If only what?"

"Basically Jaeyun wants you to help him out with gaining points." Jongseong answered with a blank look.

"That's why he ran so fast to catch you."

"The last time I helped I still didn't get my reward."

Jaeyun nervously rubbed the back of his neck before casting the female a pleading look.

"I will double the reward. Please help me out, Chaeyeon, especially since you're a Nu Tau Zeta member and it'll double or even triple the points."

"Ugh, fine, but I'm only gonna do just like two with you since you tackled me."

She then glared at him.

"You already took one, so you're left with one now."

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Jaeyun thanked her while wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

"You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah. You're lucky that you're cute. Anyways, just tell me one of them that you need to do."

"I don't get why you put up with it when you know that you don't want to do it." Jongseong stated as Chaeyeon shrugged.

"I dunno. I guess you gotta give good karma to receive good karma."

"Wow. So it's basically for your own selfish gain?"

"Sure, why not? Don't judge me, Jongseong."

"You're cute, Chaeyeon."

He laughed as she narrowed her eyes at Jongseong.

"You want to do a few tasks, too, don't you?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"If there's a customized leather jacket, then yes."

Jongseong laughed with a nod.

"You caught me."

"Anyways, I already did the 'Tackle the opposite gender'. Let's see what else I can do." Jaeyun muttered as he checked his list and marked off the ones that he had already done.

"Oh, how about this one, Chaeyeon?"

Jaeyun showed Chaeyeon one of the tasks as she nodded.

"Sure, Jaeyun."

Jaehun happily got his phone ready to take the picture as Chaeyeon endured Beta Heta Mu's scavenger list for the sake of friendship while partially covering her face since she didn't want to get exposed either. She ended up doing a few more for both Jongseong and Jaeyun. The things she does in wanting to help out friends since the tasks weren't breaking laws or humiliating towards the members or others involved. Something she definitely gave the fraternity credit for. After that the trio bid goodbyes with Chaeyeon picking up her wasted boba drink to toss before making her way inside the library.

Yeonjun entered the quiet area where he and Chaeyeon met often in the library while spotting her sleeping with her arms folded on the table and using them as pillows. He chuckled at the sight while placing a ham and cheese bagel sandwich along with an iced americano by her things. Once he settled in the chair next to her while taking a sip of his own iced americano did Chaeyeon stir awake. She looked over at him sleepily while scrunching her nose at the aroma of the drinks.

"Gah, I hate the smell of coffee."

Yeonjun's eyebrows furrowed.

"I thought you like coffee?"

"I actually don't like coffee at all."

She pushed her coffee away and towards Yeonjun while picking up the bagel to eat.

"Thanks."

He stared at Chaeyeon questioningly in mid-bite of his own ham and cheese bagel sandwich.

"Wait a minute, Chae. Are you telling me that you hate coffee despite me buying it for our study sessions together since we've met?"

"Uh, yeah, basically." Chaeyeon answered with a sheepish laugh.

"Sorry, not sorry?"

"Dude, why didn't you just tell me? You honestly finished it every time or left a little bit and I didn't think anything of it."

"Because you genuinely looked pleased every time you gave it to me. It was cute and I just didn't have it in me to tell you the truth."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"You'll get over it. Anyways, Jun, now you have double the coffee for your day today."

Yeonjun side-eyed her while taking the other drink back and taking a quick sip from it.

"What else are you hiding from me?"

"A lot of things."

Chaeyeon cast him a secretive smile as she continued eating the bagel. Yeonjun left the subject alone as he brought out his materials to study, a loose piece of paper floated to the ground and Chaeyeon went to retrieve it instead before her friend could. Upon closer inspection she realized that it was the same BHM scavenger list that Jaehyun had.

"I forgot you're a Beta Heta Mu member." Chaeyeon remarked while placing the paper on top of his bag.

"So you're doing this, too?"

"Something like that."

He picked up the paper to scan it.

"I haven't really started, but I don't think I'm gonna do it either."

"Why not?"

"I don't have time. I really need to pass my classes this semester. I barely managed last semester."

"It's easier to do with a friend or two, Yeonjun. The scavenger hunt list, I mean. I'm sure you have some."

Yeonjun rolled his eyes.

"I do, Chaeyeon, but my schedule doesn't correlate well with theirs."

She glanced at him curiously.

"Do you want to complete the list?"

"Well yeah, I do, but I don't have the time to do so."

"What do you get out of this list if you complete the whole thing?"

"Well the points I accumulate will give me entries to the End of the School Year raffle."

"But there's something else that you want, right?"

Yeonjun smiled embarrassed as the thought of what he wanted popped into his head.

"Yeah."

"And that is?"

Chaeyeon tried to get it out of him.

"Tell me and I'll help you."

"You will?" He asked shocked before eyeing her suspiciously.

"Wait, why? You would rather be in bed right now than doing anything really productive."

"I have my moments, Jun, and I feel like doing something productive today besides school stuff at the moment."

"Y'know there's like more than fifty things on that list, right?"

"True, but it's mainly to help out a friend. Also I know that you want this. So what is it?"

"If I complete that list or score the most points out of anyone for that list, then I get to be center for the group photo when school's over."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. Oh and I get to host the final house banquet this school term and the first house banquet next school term."

"Okay, that's good."

Yeonjun looked at his friend unsure.

"Are you sure you want to help me?"

"I mean, not really, but I don't mind helping out others from time to time."

Chaeyeon shrugged with a small smile.

"Alright, thanks, but I do need a date though for the banquet."

"And I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"Could I ask you in advance since you won't be all..."

"Fangirl mode?"

She cocked a brow as he nodded with a laugh.

"Yeah."

"You're cute, Jun. See, even you're thinking those people are fans now."

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, but looked at her with hopeful eyes despite feeling a bit giddy inside.

"So what do you say? Will you be my date?"

"I'll think about it."

He scoffed at her response as Chaeyeon chuckled.

"Anyways, let's go make you center, Choi Yeonjun, and a banquet host."

The pair got to working on the tasks that were quick and easy to do at the moment. After helping Yeonjun complete almost everything listed that she was comfortable with, Chaeyeon went to her last class for the day. Afterwards she had tutoring sessions in the library. Just as the tutoring ended Chaeyeon felt her phone vibrate. She ignored it since it was only a text message, but when it vibrated several more times she went on ahead to check it out while gathering her things and headed out of the library. Chaeyeon received several messages from her sorority's president, Im Jinah, and upon scanning the last one it was informing her to report to the president as soon as possible.

"Hello, Chaeyeon." Jinah greeted her with a smile as she motioned for her to sit.

Chaeyeon noticed the others of her sorority council in the room as she took a seat.

"Take a breath and slowly exhale. It's nothing bad or serious, so don't stress about that." Jinhee, the vice-president, chuckled as the treasurer, Jiyeon, smiled.

"Yeah, it's only to discuss attendance for the social gatherings this school term."

Chaeyeon relaxed and looked at her fellow sisters calmly awaiting permission to speak when prompted to.

"Now, Chaeyeon," Miso, the secretary, began with a gentle look in her direction, "We know you wanna be low- key and we're okay with that."

"Yeah, like super low-key under the radar type." Jinhee added with a laugh before speaking again, "But we definitely would appreciate it more if you attended one more event before the school term ends."

Jiyeon nodded in agreement.

"We acknowledged the fact that you do, do your part as a fellow sister of Nu Tau Zeta and haven't caused us any scandals or embarrassments since being with us."

She then cast a look at her fellow council members.

"Still..." She trailed off as Jinah continued instead.

"As the president of Nu Tau Zeta, I'm ordering you to attend one more social event as per socializing with those around you not in Nu Tau Zeta. Plus, you'll need to stay for more than an hour. Not just make appearances to several attendees and leave soon after."

Jinah smiled as Chaeyeon made a face causing everyone else in the room to laugh.

"You don't have to mingle much, just chill or relax and eat good food. Just stay past an hour and you're set to leave."

Chaeyeon nodded.

"Alright, will do, Jinah."

"Think of it this way, Chaeyeon, by joining a sorority you're committing yourself to a lifetime of network connections."

Miso grinned as Chaeyeon nodded with a smile.

"I know."

"Wonderful. That is all."

Chaeyeon was dismissed and returned to her room for a quick nap.

"Alright, fellas, it's officially midnight and the votes are accounted for and the results are now out!"

Yeonjun and the rest of his brothers awaited the results of the overall winner of Beta Heta Mu's Scavenger Hunt.

"Who will be our number one picture center and banquet host this school term and next school term?!"

Yeonjun anxiously awaited the announcement.

"Number one is..." The member paused for dramatic effect.

"It's Choi Yeonjun with a whopping nine hundred and nine points!"

Everyone congratulated Yeonjun as he was shocked and surprised that he actually won the scavenger hunt. He later learned from his president that Chaeyeon was an elusive member of Nu Tau Zeta and that a majority of the campus forget she's a member. The Nu Tau Zeta's president assisted in adding the sorority into the fraternity's scavenger hunt and was the one to review all the photos to see if any sorority members were featured in any of the pictures. Anyways, Chaeyeon's elusiveness allowed Yeonjun to win. Yeonjun smiled, causing him to think seriously about her.

Chaeyeon's phone buzzed and she reached out to find her phone to silence the call. She almost fell back asleep, but her phone buzzed once more and she silenced it once again without bothering to look at the caller ID again. Chaeyeon sighed when her mobile went off a third time and she repeated the same action as before. She felt it vibrate and dinged a second later to notify her that she now got a message and it repeated three more times and Chaeyeon knew that she wasn't going back to sleep peacefully unless she put it on 'do not disturb' and only set it for alarms instead.

Picking up her phone to do just that, Chaeyeon was surprised that it was already so late and that it was Yeonjun contacting her. He usually just messaged her once or twice. Even then he hardly ever called her unless he needed something. Or wanting to be an annoying brat to bother her, but it didn't happen often. Just as she was about to set her phone to 'do not disturb', Yeonjun's name popped up indicating that he was calling her for a fourth time. Chaeyeon contemplated whether to ignore it or not, but decided to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Can we meet?" Yeonjun asked her out of the blue.

"Bruh, it's like one in the morning."

"Please, Chaeyeon."

Chaeyeon was about to decline when she heard his next words and reconsidered his suggestion.

"I got your favorite boba."

"I'm listening."

"You're cute. You know that, right, Chae?"

"I'm not, Jun, but whatever."

Yeonjun chuckled before speaking again.

"I also have your favorite snacks. So will you meet with me please?"

Chaeyeon thought about it before speaking a few seconds later.

"Honestly, it's late, Yeonjun, and yesterday's events were super eventful for me. I just kinda wanna sleep before classes start later today."

There was a long pause and Chaeyeon believed he may have hung up on her or she may have dozed off for a bit, but he was still on call with her and she gave him a moment to speak again. Still, Yeonjun didn't speak and she wondered if he had dozed off instead.

"Yeonjun?"

"Hmm?" He hummed a few seconds later.

"Oh, you're still awake."

"Yeah, I'm still awake."

Silence fell between them again until Chaeyeon broke it.

"Do you still wanna meet right now, Jun?"

"Yes, Chae, I do, but I also don't want to trouble you if you don't want to. I know how important sleep is for you."

"True for sleep, but you've already called and messaged me, Yeonjun."

Chaeyeon sat up and ran a hand through her hair slowly.

"Plus, I kinda can't go back to sleep right now."

"I'm sorry, Chae."

She could hear the sincerity in his voice and a small smile graced her lips.

"It's fine, Yeonjun. I'll get ready after you tell me where you wanna meet?"

"Do you remember the place where we met the first time?" Yeonjun asked not hesitating to tell her the meeting point.

Just as Chaeyeon was about to reply she was distracted by the vibration sound and light blinking from her roommate, Nayoung's, phone across the room. She ignored it, replied back to Yeonjun that she did, and hung up.

"Um, is it right here?" Chaeyeon asked herself when she arrived outside the classroom that she had first met Yeonjun.

"Or was it at the library?"

She second guessed herself upon not exactly remembering which location it was that they had met first.

"Shit. I should've just asked him."

"You're cute."

She heard from behind and languidly turned to face Yeonjun.

"You know, Chaeyeon, if we were together, I would have to set your alarms for all of our anniversaries and add in notes of our special places." Yeonjun responded while appearing from around the corner of the building holding a bag of snacks and two bubble tea drinks in hand.

Chaeyeon laughed with a shrug.

"Luckily we aren't, huh? I'll be a lost cause if anyone was in a relationship with me." She admitted taking her boba from him along with the bag.

"Thank you, Jun."

"You're welcome, and you're not a lost cause, Chae, just forgetful. Super forgetful and clumsy. It's cute."

"True, but not the cute part."

The two began roaming the campus aimlessly.

"Anyways, why do you wanna meet so randomly?"

She nudged him after taking a sip of her bubble tea.

"Oh, did you win the list thing and now you're center and host?"

"Yeah. It's all thanks to you."

"I helped a little. It was all you, Yeonjun."

"Actually, I only won in the end because you were a Nu Tau Zeta member that helped double my points along with gaining secret bonus points."

"Ah, so now you know I'm part of a sorority."

He smiled, but was still left wondering what other things she kept hidden in general.

"I know it's none of my business, but I feel like there's a lot of things I still don't know about you."

"But isn't that better though?" Chaeyeon remarked not looking at him.

"The less you know, the less you are aware of things."

"Why do I have a feeling that there's another meaning to those words when its coming from you, Chae?"

Yeonjun looked at her with a curious look just as she turned to face him with a small smile.

"You're thinking too much, Yeonjun."

"I don't think I am. I feel like you've been hiding yourself from me or at least trying to keep yourself distant for some reason."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, but I would like to get to know you better."

"Isn't what we have good enough?"

"But what if I want more?"

Chayeon stopped walking with Yeonjun doing the same and they faced one another while she cast him a curious yet cautious glance.

"Why?"

"Why what?" He asked, confused.

"Why do you want more? Why do you wanna get to know me better? Why are you suddenly interested in my life? Why?"

"Would you believe me if I told you that I have feelings for you?" Yeonjun answered with his own question instead.

"Are you being serious right now?"

"Yes, I am."

"Choi Yeonjun." Chaeyeon used his full name as a warning while Yeonjun did the same thing to mess with her.

"Lim Chaeyeon."

She narrowed her eyes at him with him shooting her a playful one.

"Out of all the girls and maybe guys in this school and your life, why me?"

"Honestly, I don't know, but here we are and all I know is that I like you and I would like to take our relationship to the next level."

"You do know that if we don't work out our friendship is ruined, right?"

"Chaeyeon, meeting you was fate. Becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control."

"Gosh, you're such a dork. I can't believe you would use that on me."

Chaeyeon playfully punched his shoulder when she heard those words fall out of his mouth with Yeonjun laughing sheepishly.

"Okay, maybe I picked up a few things, but I really do mean them."

"Seriously though, love is a little too strong right now. We're just gonna go with like, okay?"

"So does that mean you also like me, too?"

"Well, I never actually thought about it beyond that or anything." Chaeyeon coyly responded as Yeonjun rolled his eyes knowingly.

"Nayoung was right. You really do like playing hard to get."

"I do not."

She then narrowed her eyes at him.

"You should not listen to Nayoung. She likes messing with me."

"Oh, yeah?" He answered with a mischievous glint in his eyes as he neared her and brought his face closer to Chaeyeon's.

"I started noticing all of your little signs yesterday that Nayoung pointed out to me when she told me, but thought it was just your introverted self at work."

He smiled wider.

"But now I'm beginning to think otherwise."

Chaeyeon slightly pushed him away while taking a step back herself to put some distance between them.

"Whatever, Yeonjun. Is this the only reason you asked me to meet you at one in the morning so you can clarify my feelings for you?"

"Partially." He answered with a chuckle before continuing.

"But I was hoping you'll actually say yes in being my date for the banquet."

"What if your fans kill me when they find out about us or whatever. I'ma die at the hands of some stupid girls that only like you superficially."

Yeonjun started laughing and Chaeyeon punched him again.

"Seriously, Yeonjun, it's not a laughing matter. I'm being serious about my future life here if we actually get together."

"I know, Chae, I know."

He calmed down from laughing before reaching a hand out to pull her body against his.

"And I'll be here to protect you."

"Couldn't you've just said that without pulling me against you?" She asked him while becoming aware of their close proximity.

"No, then I wouldn't be able to do this easily."

"Do w-"

Yeonjun pressed his lips against Chaeyeon's, silencing her in mid-sentence. When he pulled away, breaking the kiss, her first response was to slap his chest after regaining her senses back and he laughed.

"I can't believe Nayoung basically told you about my kissing preferences." Chaeyeon stated while feeling all sorts of emotions building up inside her and she didn't know which one to express more.

"Well she did tell me that I would have to make the first move since you would continue to run away from it."

"Of course she would."

"Anyways, now that I got the elusive Lim Chaeyeon to myself, you think she'll open up to me more now?"

"I dunno. She has a mind of her own, but I'll ask and get back to you as soon as possible on what she says."

Chaeyeon smiled after calming down the feelings inside of her.

"Although she does say and think that you're cute though."

Yeonjun gave her a look and she giggled at his reaction while hooking their arms together and leading them to walk aimlessly once more in a random direction after taking another sip of her bubble tea drink.

"C'mon. Let's just take it slow for now. It's too early to process all of this. We can deal with this when it's later in the afternoon or something."

"How about an official date?"

Yeonjun offered as Chaeyeon side-eyed him with a playful smile gracing her lips.

"How about no?"

"I respect your decision, but you're really not making this easier to take it a step further."

Chaeyeon chuckled as she took a sip. Yeonjun still didn't give up.

"I'll show you that it'll be worth it in the end, Chaeyeon."

"Okay, Yeonjun, and I'll try my best to be more open with you as best as I can."

"It's a start."

Yeonjun grinned happily as Chaeyeon smiled with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, it is."

#staytheb #txt scenarios #choi yeonjun

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tiramisiyu · 3 years

Text

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: “Romantic Rail Getaway” Xia Yan Route, Day 3

Translation Masterlist | Event Masterlist

Xia Yan Route: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5

Videos, where applicable, are hyperlinked on the headings in the post.

See under cut!

Part 1: Park Countryside

[Gameplay]

Part 2: Scenic Plains

[Gameplay]

Part 3: Indigenous Village - “The Truth Behind the Rumours”

On the third day of the trip, the weather was still bright and sunny, suitable for traveling.

After enjoying a sumptuous breakfast filled with Tambuyani’s characteristics, the train arrived right then at the Tambuyani National Park stop.

Following the route we checked yesterday, we walked into the indigenous village and arrived in front of the door to Jerry’s house, under the guidance of the villagers.

MC: Hello, may I ask if you are Mr. Jerry?

Jerry: Who… are you two?

An indigenous young man looked vigilantly at us. His arm drooped unnaturally on one side, looking like he’d just been injured.

Looks like this man in front of us is the person we’re looking for.

MC: We ran into your friend yesterday at the Anma indigenous village. She was worried about your injury, and asked us to check up on you.

I thought about it and found an excuse that seemed fairly reasonable.

Sure enough, Jerry’s expression looked like he’d relaxed quite a lot.

Jerry: I didn’t think she was this worried for me… ah, don’t worry, my wounds are no big deal.

Jerry: I’ve rested for these two days, and I’ve nearly back to normal. In a few days, I’ll be able to return to the mine and work.

Xia Yan: Right, your friend also told us that there was an incident at your mine recently… exactly what was the situation?

Jerry: Ah, why’s she like this… she even told you guys this?

INTERROGATION START

Kuru Mine

MC: We’re already talking about it, so you might as well chat with us about this thing on your mine.

Jerry: It’s actually nothing big – just that a few days ago in the mine, some miners and mine bosses fought.

Jerry: The mine doesn’t see us as people at all. We work lots and receive little wages, and all they care about is having us dig up gems without regard to day or night.

Jerry: Say, if anyone were in this position, who would be able to deal with this treatment?

Jerry: Plus, the cause of this matter was the mine’s problem to begin with.

Jerry: Some time back, a miner named Mark at our mine dug up a massive golden gem.

Jerry: Thinking he’d struck it rich, Mark couldn’t resist showing it off to us. Who would’ve known… ugh…

In Jerry’s somewhat messy narration, my ears caught onto the important point we wanted. [1]

[1] TL Note: Likely due to an accident, this line was displayed as something that Jerry said.

Mark the Miner

MC: Hmm? What happened with Mark?

Jerry: Mark dug up a large gem, and originally thought that he could finally live a good life…

Jerry: Who would’ve known that the mine’s people would straight-up take the gem for themselves, without even giving him a bonus.

Jerry: In unbearable anger, Mark fought with the mine bosses. In the chaos, he snatched away that gem and jumped off the cliff behind the mine…

MC: How could it end up like this…

Golden Gem

MC: Approximately how large was the golden gem that Mark dug up?

Jerry: I’m estimating that it’s around the size of my palm.

Jerry: I’m not exaggerating – I really have never seen a gem this big in my life.

MC: (Looks like this gem is indeed the golden gem in Xia Yan’s commission.)

INTERROGATION COMPLETE

Jerry: Ah, don’t shoot off your mouth to others about this, otherwise I…

Jerry hesitated for a second. When he wanted to continue talking, a severe voice sounded from behind us –

???: What nonsense are you talking about!

A young person, looking like he wasn’t a Tambuyani local, rushed at us with quick steps, bringing several people with him.

As soon as Jerry saw him, he immediately lowered his head, his expression extremely panicked.

MC: You are…

???: I warned you early on! Don’t talk blindly as you wish to outside people. You want to violate rules without authorization?

That person paid no attention whatsoever to Xia Yan or me, rushing straight at Jerry.

???: Let’s go. Come with me right now.

Seeing that person grabbing Jerry, wanting to drag him away, Xia Yan immediately blocked him off.

Xia Yan: Back off.

???: I’m just talking with a person from our mine. What do you outside people wanna do?

Jerry: Um… this is our mine’s… mine boss.

Jerry’s expression was panicked, looking like he was terribly afraid of this miner boss.

MC: You do not have the right to take people away as you wish.

Miner Boss: Hah, it’s not your place to interfere with our mine matters, is it?!

[Gameplay]

Miner Boss: Hmph, not gonna bother wasting words with you.

Miner Boss: Let’s go, Jerry. Your injury leave has ended, and it’s just about time for you to return to the mine and work.

The miner boss grabbed tightly onto Jerry’s arm, like he was afraid we’d pull him over.

Jerry: …

MC: Wait!

Without waiting for me to say more refuting words, that miner boss dragged Jerry onto his Jeep.

We could only watch with our eyes wide open as his car drove arrogantly off.

Part 4: Countryside Outside the Village

[Gameplay]

Part 5: Park’s Sea of Grass

[Gameplay]

Part 6: The Weight of Truth

Tambuyani National Park

MC: …

Standing on the grass under the dusky sunset, I had no time to view the painting-like sceneries of Tambuyani National Park as I lowered my head and quietly sighed.

Xia Yan: Are you still thinking about what happened during the day?

MC: Mhmm. I didn’t think that behind the disappearance of the golden gem, there would actually be this many people implicated.

Xia Yan: The mine originally wanted to rely on the gem that Mark the miner dug up to earn a big sum…

Xia Yan: But they didn’t think that Mark would get in a dispute with the mine, even dropping off the cliff with the gem during the conflict, his whereabouts unknown.

Xia Yan: With no way to execute the gem transaction, the manager of the mine could only pretend like the transaction never happened.

MC: I wonder how Mark the miner is right now, and where that golden gem has gone.

Xia Yan: Based on the clues we asked about during the day, it seems like no one is sure about the whereabouts of the golden gem and Mark. This will be somewhat hard to deal with…

MC: The mine’s oppression of their staff implicated lots of people… there probably is lots of information to dig out behind it.

Xia Yan: Too bad that miner named Jerry was taken away by the miner boss. If we had the chance, it would’ve been great to chat more with him.

MC: Yeah, the miner boss’s timing really was bad. Just when we asked about the essential parts, he arrived!

Xia Yan: It’s very evident that he knows about everything that happens in the indigenous village like the back of his hand.

MC: Are you saying… that he’s monitoring this place?

Xia Yan: To be exact, he’s trying to cover the truth, and in the meanwhile, monitoring for the movements of the golden gem.

Xia Yan chose a relatively flat piece of grassy area and tugged me down to sit with him, then started to analyze slowly with me.

Xia Yan: There are probably two purposes behind why the mine would monitor the miners.

Xia Yan: One, to prevent the minors from revealing information to the outside and generating a souring of public opinion.

Xia Yan: Two, to prevent mutual collusion between miners and sheltering Mark… or secretly moving the golden gem.

MC: So… once the miner boss was alerted to how we were inquiring on things related to the golden gem, he immediately took Jerry away by force…

MC: He must be afraid that we have some sort of business deal with Jerry, right?

Xia Yan: I’m guessing that to him, the two of us must be the top-rank dangerous people.

Thinking about the miner boss’s fiendish look from before he left, I felt anxious and frightened.

This is bad – he couldn’t have done something to Jerry, right…

MC: Ugh, it would be great if we had evidence to prove that the mine was violating local labor laws.

Xia Yan: I’ve got it! I’ve thought up of a method we could do!

Xia Yan turned on his phone and opened up the train route picture, poking at the red dot on the screen with his finger.

That was the route picture that indicated where the train would be going through tomorrow. On the map, the name “Kuru Mine” was listed boldly.

Xia Yan: Tomorrow, the train will stop near Kuru Mine. There are mine pit flower fields there that are extremely close to the gem mine.

Xia Yan: When time comes, we can ostensibly be sightseeing as we explore near the mine.

MC: Awesome. If we can get our hands on feasible evidence, we can offer the evidence to the local police!

Xia Yan: And so, tomorrow’s itinerary arrangements are set.

MC: Mhmm, I’m sure those lawbreakers will definitely pay the price for what they’ve done!

#未定事件簿 #tears of themis #tears of themis translations #xia yan #mihoyo #tot translation

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reasonjeans1 · 3 years

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How the 10 Worst View Private Snapchat Accounts Fails of All Time Could Have Been Prevented

capably How To View Private Snapchat Account Profile Photos, Stories and their Posts without following those person personally is hard for everyone. for that reason it became practicable in the same way as some special website which let you view those opinion easily. The best business about this website is that the supplementary person will never know that you have viewed their profile without subsequently them. Its the best of all the counsel providing without hacking and all. Private Snapchat Profile Viewer Im not determined afterward you posted this but if its useful in any space I had this suffering a few days ago and it appears the answer of uninstalling and re-installing did the trick. On the additional hand, attempt clearing your cache, or reboot your phone. This happens ever fittingly often to complex users. Folders and documents and data might have been updated and your device might have no picked them up. I would afterward update your snapchat. 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It as a consequence means that you have been that friends number one best pal out of all of their associates as well, for two months. Red heart: After the orange heart comes to the red heart your BFF if you remain each others number one best friends for a grow old of two weeks. Yellow heart: If you havent been snapping anyone long acceptable yet but started snapping a pal more frequently, you could look the ocher heart, which appears afterward they are your #1 best friend and you are their #1 best friend. Smiling point behind pleased eyes: An emoji subsequently laughing eyes and incandescent cheeks not in favor of a friends broadcast means that theyre substitute one of you best friends (but not your number one). Smirking face: taking into consideration you see an emoji subsequently a smirk on its direction aligned with a friends name, it means that youre that friends best friend, but theyre not your best friend. (You have a different best friend.) 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Baby: A baby emoji bordering to a friends pronounce means that theyre a further pal that was just added. Hint: You Can Customize Your friend Emojis! Want to know a fun Snapchat trick? You can actually tweak the emojis for all the interactions listed above correspondingly that you look the precise emojis you desire to see adjacent to your friends names. Simply navigate to the camera tab, tap upon the ghost icon at the summit to tug by the side of your profile tab, tap the gear icon in the top right to right of entry your settings and after that tap rule Preferences below Additional Services. On the bordering tab, tap pal Emojis and there youll look a list of every the emojis taking into consideration their corresponding meanings. view private snapchat can tap any one of them to actually set that specific associations to any emoji you want. For example, if you wanted your Super BFF emoji to be the pile of poo emoji on the other hand of the two pink hearts, subsequently you can very reach that. If you do, any epoch you have a Super BFF, the pile of poo emoji will appear neighboring to that friends post in the talk tab.

#view private snapchat

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laraslandlockedblues · 4 years

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I have something I’ve been thinking about, especially now that I’m back over on Twitter (admittedly with a new account than I’d had before) and have been trying to reconcile how I utilize different platforms and why.

Long rambles so I’ll be sure to tag this long post and put under a read more.

TL;DR - I essentially traumatized myself for a political group doing research after the 2016 election, and while I thought I could handle it I found out I could not. I walked away from politics and at the same time discovered that fandom/fanfic writing was alive and well and I lost myself into writing for DA. I literally did actively avoid politics through tumblr and fandom because it was what I needed to heal. It’s why I’ve been such a shitty ally, and while I know that doesn’t excuse my inaction and silence, it hopefully explains why I hid behind privilege and often didn’t speak up. However, moving forward, that will be different.

I can no longer stay silent.

Almost four years ago, after crying my eyes out on election night, I became part of a group that was trying to decide what the fuck we could do moving forward. We all took up roles and duties we were suited for, and at the start mine was to delve into research. I was good at it, and at the time I assured them that I was able to read things that could make your skin crawl and walk away unscathed. It was a skill we needed.

And so, I set to work. I dove into the world of pro-Trumpers, the alt-right, the radicalization of young white men through the internet, and I worked on learning. I would spend my days reading reddit, 4chan, wherever I could find them gathering and sharing their ideas and plans. I took notes. I studied their lexicon and wrote it down. I figured out how they dog whistled and what terms they used around “normies” to try to bring them into the alt-right. I studied how they were trying to “red pill” people. I studied the way they actively were trying to push the Overton Window so that their ideas could be enacted further down the road.

For weeks this was all I did.

At first I was fueled by my rage and disbelief at the election, and I was hopeful we could figure it out soon and overcome. As time went on, though, I lost that hope. I couldn’t walk away from the research unscathed. I carried it around with me, crying over what I was reading, what I was discovering. The depths of hatred in people shook me to my core, as well as the realization that I had been blind to it and even a part of it at one point.

I was raised by conservatives who admire Ayn Rand, after all. It took me living out on my own and speaking to people from all walks of life that I finally began to shed both religion and my formerly held political views. Two of my closest friends are the children of illegal immigrants. They were the first of their families to graduate from college. Going to their graduation party (as well as others for their families) changed my whole world. Being the only white, English speaker in a room was exactly the kind of experience a lot of people in our country need to have.

And now I was having to research people who actively hated some of the best people I’ve ever met, and also actively worked to never be in the sort of situations I had found had changed me so completely as a person.

I gave up. I sank into such a deep depression I took to drinking more, drinking so that I could sleep instead of staying up until 5am, until I had to go seek a counselor. I was in a red state, in military healthcare, and my counselor only saw the symptoms and side effects of my depression, not the cause. I didn’t feel safe telling her that I was thoroughly depressed because of what I saw happening to my country. Because of the election.

So instead I was treated as an alcoholic, as if that was not a symptom and was in fact the main cause (don’t @ me, I know it makes it worse. But it was not the cause.)

Then I discovered Mass Effect for the first time. And I replayed Dragon Age. I fell in love with Garrus and once more with Alistair and Fenris and Cullen. Late at night, a little tipsy and wishing Garrus had had more of a romance, I googled him and discovered Ao3. And I began devouring fic. And then I had an idea for my own (Goose Bumps).

The rest is well-documented history, here.

I sought refuge in fandom and fanfic. I sought refuge in telling stories. I admittedly used some problematic tropes when I first started out, so enthralled by just finally *writing* again that I didn’t pay attention to how I was consuming the media. I hadn’t written in so long, having hit writer’s block with a mystery I’d been working on (inspired by the “sundown” town I had to visit in-laws in in Illinois), and the act of just writing anything was so liberating for me I gave little thought to anything else.

Never mind the fact that my first real interaction with someone in fandom led to me being manipulated, gaslit, and abused. We’ll gloss over that part.

But these things all compiled into a me who was no longer vocal when I saw things that were more than just concerning and needed to be addressed. I ignored things that made me angry. I saw mutuals sharing important political messages and my heart would start racing and I would log out for the day. I couldn’t see the content without having an adverse reaction to it. I also didn’t want to make myself a target by saying anything - after all, I had written fics and been targeted by an abuser simply for that. What sort of reaction would I get if I helped to call out problematic art and artists?

I was frozen by fear.

I let myself be silent. I let myself take refuge in my privilege as a white cis woman. I let myself only write and block anyone who was racist/sexist/ableist/terfs/you name it. I blocked and moved on.

Because I could.

I had that luxury.

I am no longer frozen by my fear. I am now emboldened by it. I understand wanting to seek refuge in fandom. I do. If moving forward me being political here on this platform causes you distress and you have to unfollow me, trust me.

I get it.

But I can no longer allow my silence to enable those who seek to cause harm. I can no longer stay silent in the face of what is happening in the world, in my country, in my backyard - in my fandom.

This is not in response to anything more than my determination to be better than I was. For three years I’ve allowed myself to seek shelter, while not allowing others the same decency or courtesy by creating a safe space free of racism or other harmful ideologies. I’m not the only one who deserves to seek shelter in fandom. White women are not the only ones who deserve to seek shelter in fandom.

If those statements seem radical or uncomfortable to you, feel free to show yourself the door.

This is not an attempt to explain away my past (in)actions. I don’t need pats on the back. I don’t need reaffirmation. These thoughts have just been circling in my head now that I’ve finally reconnected with that group and have been politically active on Twitter and my personal Facebook again. This blog is still mostly fandom and shitposts. But I also want to be better in how I participate here, instead of keeping it just to my Twitter.

Racists, TERFs, homophobes, sexists, fascists (yes, you’re a fascist if you’re “anti-antifa” get fucked), nazis, etc - none of your like are welcome here. My art is not for you.

#long post #personal #needed to ramble this out of my system #tw racism #tw alt-right #i'm determined to be better #and i will no longer be silent #this is not an excuse #i just needed to conquer my own trauma and now even if it still causes me distress #i have to act #tw: alcholism #tw: alchohol mention #forgot those two

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